Been having a hard night.

GipsyOfNewSpain comments on Feb 26, 2018:

Cheer Up, your cat is watching you. You need to start thinking how much life you have left and stop thinking about everything science says is wrong with you. Your life is not over. Clear your mind. Take all medicines you are consuming to a physician. I am sure they will say you are doing too much at...

Melbates replies on Feb 26, 2018:

Actually, I'm not on any meds right now. No money to refill scripts. But, got tax refund so calling pharmacy tomorrow.

Been having a hard night.

Sisyphe comments on Feb 26, 2018:

Read Albert Camus' "The Myth of Sisyphus" and drink some PBR's while eating chips and salsa. Then you can go on to Camus's "The Plague," more PBR's, and nachos. Actually, you can do this in any order.

Melbates replies on Feb 26, 2018:

Don't drink beer. Gimme the hard liquor. And, I'm a redhead. Spicy enough as it is, no need to add to it. So, no salsa. ???????????? And, I think I may need to duck before saying this but I've never heard of the author or book(s).

Is it ok to message women directly or is there some other protocol?

Brbaldwin comments on Feb 25, 2018:

I would ask her father first...lol

Melbates replies on Feb 26, 2018:

LMFAO

Is it ok to message women directly or is there some other protocol?

buck1977 comments on Feb 25, 2018:

Most women seem to love random dick pics..

Melbates replies on Feb 26, 2018:

@birdingnut *dies laughing*

Hey all, I am new to this site.

KKGator comments on Feb 24, 2018:

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay!!!

Melbates replies on Feb 26, 2018:

Do you want the window or the aisle bed?

Hey all, I am new to this site.

Rugglesby comments on Feb 24, 2018:

Well that may not be entirely true. At this site you can go to sleep every night with the feeling there is a great fuzzy being watching you. I am a hacker from way back, I have great size and I am fuzzy.

Melbates replies on Feb 26, 2018:

*laughs hysterically*

Been having a hard night.

Plainjane comments on Feb 26, 2018:

@Melbates If you are feeling that way, please call someone you trust to talk to. Or the suicide hotline. Remember, these thoughts are a product of distorted thinking. It's your brain playing tricks on you. Please get help.

Melbates replies on Feb 26, 2018:

I'm actually in recovery from a suicide attempt. Which is why I came to this site, looking for a coping skill and support network. I don't have any friends, no family. Work and my cat is all my life consists of.

Been having a hard night.

birdingnut comments on Feb 26, 2018:

Lucky for you there's weed..it cures everything! But if you're not joking, sounds serious!

Melbates replies on Feb 26, 2018:

I am a supporter of medicinal marijuana but not recreational. I've personally never done any drugs. Personal choice. But, don't condemn those who do. Also, I live in Texas. The Republican Bible thumpers will never approve the devil's lettuce. LOL

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

heathen77 comments on Feb 20, 2018:

It's an evolutionary response to the fact that our first impression of anyone comes from vision. Example1. Her face is symmetrical, so she is genetically sound breeding material. Example 2. She is muscular. She will be able to protect my child while I am hunting. Example 3. She has large ...

Melbates replies on Feb 23, 2018:

@heathen77 my first post of my account was having just gotten out of treatment. I OD'd Christmas Eve morning on Amitriptyline, Trazodone, Tylenol 3's, Hydrocodone and ibuprofen. I wasn't found for twelve hours. My heart had stopped. I was in treatment until January 4th and sought out this site as a coping skill and looking for a support network. I've never sought attention or compliments.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Cbabcoco comments on Feb 12, 2018:

I’m so sorry to hear that melbates. I hate how shallow and superficial this world can be. Being educated in Personality Psychology we are hard wired as human beings to respond to our stupid conventional standards of beauty.....I’m also educated in Social Evolution.....so it’s a genetic ...

Melbates replies on Feb 23, 2018:

@Cbabcoco just send me a PM

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

heathen77 comments on Feb 20, 2018:

It's an evolutionary response to the fact that our first impression of anyone comes from vision. Example1. Her face is symmetrical, so she is genetically sound breeding material. Example 2. She is muscular. She will be able to protect my child while I am hunting. Example 3. She has large ...

Melbates replies on Feb 23, 2018:

Your comment made me laugh until you accused me of fishing for compliments. If you'll look at the preceding comments, you'll see very few compliments. Also, if you read my profile, you saw I just got out of treatment for attempting suicide due to severe depression.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

jacpod comments on Feb 22, 2018:

It is weird isnt it rather like someone arbitrarily saying this is beautiful this is not - When my mother was a young girl pre -war she was chubby and that was so the rage her sister was thin and didnt get any men then it all changed - I dont really know why we make it different .

Melbates replies on Feb 23, 2018:

I've read so much about that and it sometimes makes me feel like I was born in the wrong era.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Lysistrata comments on Feb 11, 2018:

I don't think it matters as much to men as we're raised to believe it does. I think our insecurity about it is a much bigger turnoff. I wish I'd figured that out 20 years ago.

Melbates replies on Feb 23, 2018:

@Lysistrata Yea, they changed my meds when I was in the treatment center over Christmas and New Year's.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Cbabcoco comments on Feb 12, 2018:

I’m so sorry to hear that melbates. I hate how shallow and superficial this world can be. Being educated in Personality Psychology we are hard wired as human beings to respond to our stupid conventional standards of beauty.....I’m also educated in Social Evolution.....so it’s a genetic ...

Melbates replies on Feb 18, 2018:

@Cbabcoco wow, now, that's quite an offer. LOL

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

LimeySteve comments on Feb 11, 2018:

We've been programmed to think that way. Fortunately, some of us have turned off the TV and are beginning to think for ourselves.

Melbates replies on Feb 18, 2018:

@LimeySteve currently working on that with intensive therapy.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Lysistrata comments on Feb 11, 2018:

I don't think it matters as much to men as we're raised to believe it does. I think our insecurity about it is a much bigger turnoff. I wish I'd figured that out 20 years ago.

Melbates replies on Feb 18, 2018:

@Lysistrata and, as to the approval, I think it's more because of the inability of society to understand depression and other mental illnesses.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Lysistrata comments on Feb 11, 2018:

I don't think it matters as much to men as we're raised to believe it does. I think our insecurity about it is a much bigger turnoff. I wish I'd figured that out 20 years ago.

Melbates replies on Feb 18, 2018:

@Lysistrata yes. My depression got bad then went downhill from there. Got worse in the last four months. Gained thirty lbs because I've been craving sweets more often than normal- quit smoking, food is my comfort, craving sugar, etc. I've been fighting the urge to buy a cake and eat the whole thing.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Tyler1293 comments on Feb 11, 2018:

I think it all has to do with the way people look at things. Lots of guys want the Barbie doll girl that's perfect, and girls want the Ken guy that's perfect. Lots of people want the hot pick. They want the trophy. I know how I feel about this. Its not the outside that matters, its what's on ...

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

Well, that's kind of my point..... I'd rather have someone I can have an intelligent conversation with. Granted, pleasing to the eye is a nice attribute to have but, as many have pointed out, looks don't last.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

GoldenMean comments on Feb 11, 2018:

Basic evolution. See good specimen, attracted to strong specimen. It'll take a long time for us to 'see' an attractive intellect. Hoping for it. Maybe if it showed on our faces. But, darn, we have to interact with someone to 'see' his/her intellect--and attitudes.

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

That's what I wish- it showed on my face.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

AtlGeekWoman comments on Feb 12, 2018:

I was slender and beautiful when younger. I was treated with favor in all kinds of situations, and didn't even realize it at the time. I've seen the same kind of thing with my slender, beautiful daughter - people want to do things for her just because she's attractive. One of the reasons that I ...

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

So far, I've had three men of the older generation hit on me since joining this site (which seems to be the norm) and, a few days back, a fellow Fort Worth resident emailed to ask if I was single and where was my picture? I uploaded my picture and he hasn't messaged since.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

AuntieMame comments on Feb 11, 2018:

Chemistry is fun, but temporary. Lasting relationships are based on the things you mentioned. When you find the right person, it'll be things like a shared sense of humor or perspective on life that will keep you together and happy. For me, sense of humor attracts me the most. Being supportive ...

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

I know this but it's so hard to remember when you're 37 and wondering when you become the crazy old cat lady.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

geeky1965 comments on Feb 11, 2018:

I've said this for years. It's a terrible form of discrimination. It starts very young, the beautiful kind princess, the ugly stepsisters, the ugly witch, people who are ugly are always the mean ones and the kind intelligent people are beautiful. It's society, but no one considers it discrimination....

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

Very, very true. Black is bad. White is good. Ugly is bad. Pretty is good.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Cbabcoco comments on Feb 12, 2018:

I’m so sorry to hear that melbates. I hate how shallow and superficial this world can be. Being educated in Personality Psychology we are hard wired as human beings to respond to our stupid conventional standards of beauty.....I’m also educated in Social Evolution.....so it’s a genetic ...

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

Thank you for your kind words. I've been struggling with so many mental health issues due to the belief I'm stupid, fat and ugly and no one will ever want me. I can't even look in a mirror because that mindset was set in stone so long ago.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Dida comments on Feb 11, 2018:

Lot's of sapiosexuals here! You came to the right place!

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

Sometimes I want to paste the word on my forehead. LOL I'm, like, EXTREMELY turned on by intelligence. But, intelligence isn't the first thing the eye sees. Then, there's the fact most men read any word with "sex" in it and begin to wonder which bedroom Acrobatics it refers to. *rolls eyes*

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

jayneonacobb comments on Feb 11, 2018:

Because most people are intimidated by intelligence.

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

I'd rather they be intimidated by my brain than to hint I'm not pretty enough/thin enough.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

LimeySteve comments on Feb 11, 2018:

We've been programmed to think that way. Fortunately, some of us have turned off the TV and are beginning to think for ourselves.

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

My brain has faulty wiring due to years of torment.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Simon1 comments on Feb 11, 2018:

It's easy to be pretty not easy to be intelligent . So the pretty made others believe they are worth more

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

If I put up a picture of my sister and I, you wouldn't believe we're related. She was almost a model, except she doesn't have my height. She was a size 0 all her life until her second child in her mid 20's. My entire life, she's been my biggest tormentor while at the same time protecting me from others bullying.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Lysistrata comments on Feb 11, 2018:

I don't think it matters as much to men as we're raised to believe it does. I think our insecurity about it is a much bigger turnoff. I wish I'd figured that out 20 years ago.

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

So many people lauded and praised me for losing 70 lbs, the results of which are my profile picture. But, those same people chastised me for giving into my depression and using food as my comfort, therefore gaining back what I'd lost.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

Kimba comments on Feb 11, 2018:

Because society as a whole is lazy and shallow, but you've got one big advantage if someone likes you, you know it is you they like, not just what's wrapped round it. Knew a stunning girl at school that made multiple serious attempts at suicide because she was sick of people not looking past the ...

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

I understand where she's coming from, not in the looks department but the mental state. I have Major Depressive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and PTSD. Was just released from hospital January 4th after an almost successful suicide attempt. Being told my entire life that I'm stupid, fat and ugly and no one will ever want me has done a real number on my psyche.

Why does society focus on looks instead of knowledge?

stinkeye_a comments on Feb 11, 2018:

Start with a foundation of **biology**: *"That looks like a good mother/father for my future offspring."* ...create a **social** structure around it: *"The pretty/healthy ones are worth more; you have to compete harder to get one."* ...inflate the whole thing with **economics**: *"Buy ...

Melbates replies on Feb 13, 2018:

Thank you for making me laugh.

Sometimes I think I was born into the wrong social strata or had I made this decision instead of ...

phil21 comments on Feb 9, 2018:

Hang out in the museum district? That's usually free, no?

Melbates replies on Feb 10, 2018:

Yes, but, I don't think that'll help to interject me into the uppercrust. LOL

For my USA peeps, I'm just starting the process for SSDI.

Dalmax comments on Jan 26, 2018:

8 month, despite overwhelming evidence that I wasn't going to be working anymore. That was in 2006/7. I have heard (anecdotally) that they flat out refuse you at least the first time you apply, and often the second as well.

Melbates replies on Jan 27, 2018:

It's true. The repeated denials is why it took my wheelchair bound mother five years to get hers. I'm having a hard time feeling worthy of a disability classification. I know it stems from my depression telling me this but its also the fact I've been a workaholic all my life. My brain still says you're fine, you can work. But, if the aftereffect of my return to work after the most recent surgery is any indication, my body has some strong disagreements to that idea.

For my USA peeps, I'm just starting the process for SSDI.

LennyP49 comments on Jan 26, 2018:

Things have not changed significantly, I think they have gotten slightly worse. It took me 3 years 8 years ago, and I had extensive documentation to support my claim. Being able to work even part time is almost always a basis for the pricks to deny. ONly positive is if you keep on fighting and ...

Melbates replies on Jan 26, 2018:

I'm hoping I won't need my own lawyer because MHMR will provide that for me. I meet with the liaison on the 15th.

For my USA peeps, I'm just starting the process for SSDI.

KKGator comments on Jan 26, 2018:

I was extraordinarily lucky. Started my application process in May of 2008, was approved and started getting benefits by August of the same year (with retroactive benefits from the date of my application). I think when it's a vision issue, with permanent disability, and you get examined by a doctor ...

Melbates replies on Jan 26, 2018:

One of the "horror stories" is actually from my mom's cousin. He lost an eye due to diabetes. Had a glass eye. Every few years, the government would come by to make sure he was still disabled and not faking. Without fail, as soon as they asked, he'd pull his lower lid down, the eye would pop out and roll across the floor. "I believe so," he'd reply. LMFAO!!!!

For my USA peeps, I'm just starting the process for SSDI.

josh_karpf comments on Jan 26, 2018:

As you probably saw with your mom, the first attempt is usually rejected, but don't give up. Do lawyer up, but follow their work closely: lovely spouse's disability lawyer turned out to be useless, so she was fired and her family helped her finish the process.

Melbates replies on Jan 26, 2018:

I'm sorry you had such issues. Yes, my mom did experience multiple denials over the years, part of why it took so long. But, she was so good and so organized that the lawyer was only there as a matter of principle.

For my USA peeps, I'm just starting the process for SSDI.

DeityfreeRo comments on Jan 26, 2018:

Hire a lawyer. It will save you years of frustration and thousands in benefits. If you have a mental and a physical disability it is almost guaranteed you will be approved but do it with a lawyer to be sure

Melbates replies on Jan 26, 2018:

@DietyfreeRo well, on the 15th, I meet with the liaison between MHMR and the government. I'll ask him if I need a lawyer or MHMR covers that aspect for me. Don't want to go to the trouble if it's unnecessary.

For my USA peeps, I'm just starting the process for SSDI.

BucketlistBob comments on Jan 26, 2018:

Social security is hard if you can still work. I agree with others. Go see a lawyer. You will be told your chances to receive it. By yourself... your going to be baffled with bullshit. You will be turned down the first time if you don't convince them. My wife is disabled... that's how I know.

Melbates replies on Jan 26, 2018:

I'm hoping the assistance from MHMR will negate the necessity of hiring a lawyer. I think they have their own lawyers who specialize in helping people with mental illnesses.

For my USA peeps, I'm just starting the process for SSDI.

DeityfreeRo comments on Jan 26, 2018:

Hire a lawyer. It will save you years of frustration and thousands in benefits. If you have a mental and a physical disability it is almost guaranteed you will be approved but do it with a lawyer to be sure

Melbates replies on Jan 26, 2018:

Don't have the money for a lawyer but, to my understanding, MHMR takes care of the legal aspect. I wish I were as good as my mom. She was so organized and on top of everything that, when she finally approached the lawyer, they responded they weren't really necessary. She'd done everything for them and the lawyer ended up being there pretty much just for show.

For my USA peeps, I'm just starting the process for SSDI.

andygee comments on Jan 26, 2018:

I hired a lawyer right out of the box to get my dad covered for a different federal benefit. It took 60 days, went like clockwork, and it was money well spent.

Melbates replies on Jan 26, 2018:

I'm using a liaison with MHMR (Mental Health Mental Retardation). I'm hoping to have a slightly smoother time of it. I really need to focus on my mental health. Physical health, as well. But, mental is currently the most important. To do the intensive treatment my doctor wants, and being stuck on public transportation, I would be unable to hold down a job.

For my USA peeps, I'm just starting the process for SSDI.

pilgrim comments on Jan 26, 2018:

i fought the battle in 2013-14 and it was arduous to say the least. the first time i applied i was denied. then i hired an agency to handle my claim for me. we lost for the second time. my final option was to go before a judge who ruled in my favor. it took eleven months to settle my case, and that ...

Melbates replies on Jan 26, 2018:

Yea, I remember my mom being warned about repeated denials. That's another reason I hadn't tried sooner. But, I'm hoping the help I'm getting from the mental health agency and the county hospital will make it slightly smoother. And, see, hearing stories like yours, knowing my mom's battle or watching a friend's family fight for their son who has brain damage, I just cannot fathom how there are some people who got theirs "easy," comparatively.

Is anyone from Texas?

Melbates comments on Jan 20, 2018:

Southwest Fort Worth here. And, you?

Melbates replies on Jan 21, 2018:

@Paintmebright well, that's quite a drive! LMAO!!

I'm okay. But, phone is disconnected. So, I'll be gone a while until I can afford the bill.

Srijith comments on Jan 16, 2018:

Hey lady, take care.

Melbates replies on Jan 18, 2018:

Thank you.

I wish I could use my writing skills not only to help me cope but also as a source of income.

stinkeye_a comments on Jan 9, 2018:

Get thee to Quora, posthaste!

Melbates replies on Jan 10, 2018:

Okay, I've registered but I'm confused by the site. Is it just question/answer stuff or do people post their work? What was it that led you to recommend it?

I wish I could use my writing skills not only to help me cope but also as a source of income.

stinkeye_a comments on Jan 9, 2018:

Get thee to Quora, posthaste!

Melbates replies on Jan 10, 2018:

LOLOL What is that?

I wish I could use my writing skills not only to help me cope but also as a source of income.

AnomalousB comments on Jan 9, 2018:

I'm sure that there are ways you could make money using your writing skills. How about tutoring college students? Not only do you get to use your skills to improve writing, but you can pass on your knowledge onto others.

Melbates replies on Jan 10, 2018:

I actually went to college late. From age 29-32. Currently 37. I've attempted to make contact with those who were helpful during my college years. But, apparently, since I wasn't strong enough to live up to their expectations, they've ignored me. :-(

I wish I could use my writing skills not only to help me cope but also as a source of income.

CMilena comments on Jan 9, 2018:

That's really nice writing Melissa. I've struggled with depression for most my life so I can relate. I too would love to make a living at writing and I have been considering starting a blog. You can look into it as well there are lots of platforms for writers although I do think you'll have to ...

Melbates replies on Jan 9, 2018:

Thank you very much.