So this happened in my hometown today. That's an 11 foot gator. Florida life, yo.

Zster comments on Apr 1, 2018:

Looks like an INdoor pool. How the heck did it get in there?

OpposingOpposum replies on Apr 1, 2018:

That screening tends to be flimsy as hell. Probably walked right through.those guys are like tanks

We'll see if the first one flies...

RavenCT comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Oh - Dank Memes.

OpposingOpposum replies on Apr 1, 2018:

@phxbillcee well we've got a few extra blow up sheep we've been saving for the next rapture announcement.....

Relationships...

Rudy1962 comments on Apr 1, 2018:

Want something? Steal it. Like somebody? Take them

OpposingOpposum replies on Apr 1, 2018:

Mwahahahha. See this is how you end up with trunkfulls of dead hookers.

Misadventures in Dating I have reached peak absent mindedness y'all.

BeeHappy comments on Apr 1, 2018:

Lol, don't worry about. It happens! If you're lucky maybe he thought you were someone else too. Lol

OpposingOpposum replies on Apr 1, 2018:

Lol!

Had some fun with this one.

ollieberry comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Palm Avenue or Main Street?

OpposingOpposum replies on Apr 1, 2018:

Palm avenue

Misadventures in Dating I have reached peak absent mindedness y'all.

btroje comments on Mar 31, 2018:

lol

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@Buddha if it was you must have driven a heck of a long way just for a movie!

A Man's 'Beer Belly' Was Actually a Massive Tumor... [livescience.com]

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Oh dear. I'd better go for that check up.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee HELL no. Again not a parthogenic lizard woman.

A Man's 'Beer Belly' Was Actually a Massive Tumor... [livescience.com]

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Oh dear. I'd better go for that check up.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@RavenCT I don't think we want to know where @phxbillcee goes on the internet. Some things you can't unsee.

The first one is for MCU fans...

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Absolutely filthy. I knew there was a reason I liked you.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee very

So this happened in my hometown today. That's an 11 foot gator. Florida life, yo.

btroje comments on Mar 31, 2018:

nice kitty

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Lol!

Misadventures in Dating I have reached peak absent mindedness y'all.

Akfishlady comments on Mar 31, 2018:

I love it. There are many great dating stories, I think this one counts. Was it someone from this site? :D

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@Akfishlady I wouldn't dare post it if it had been one of these guys. I'd be roasted to death.

Misadventures in Dating I have reached peak absent mindedness y'all.

Akfishlady comments on Mar 31, 2018:

I love it. There are many great dating stories, I think this one counts. Was it someone from this site? :D

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

No. No ones that close to me,sadly. It was a guy off meetme. I thought he was a math teacher I'd been chatting up.

Misadventures in Dating I have reached peak absent mindedness y'all.

Jnei comments on Mar 31, 2018:

That's one of the funniest things I've ever read on this site! :-D

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Stick with me my friend. I do legendarily goofy things.

So this happened in my hometown today. That's an 11 foot gator. Florida life, yo.

Insectra comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Oh wow! Nothing like a gator in a pool to add some excitement to the day!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Right? It's the gators world, we're just living in it.

Why Ohio??

BufftonBeotch comments on Mar 31, 2018:

I spent much of my childhood plotting my escape from Ohio. And I lived in maybe the 5% of the state that was aesthetically pleasing in the Appalacian foothills. Racism and ignorance as ugly as projectile leprosy.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@BufftonBeotch obviously you haven't met me or heard of this whole "free speech" thing. You'll learn.

Why Ohio??

Darthpug comments on Mar 31, 2018:

To all the guys in Florida......ouch!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

......

Why Ohio??

BufftonBeotch comments on Mar 31, 2018:

I spent much of my childhood plotting my escape from Ohio. And I lived in maybe the 5% of the state that was aesthetically pleasing in the Appalacian foothills. Racism and ignorance as ugly as projectile leprosy.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

An unusual number of astronauts are from Ohio, leading some to suspect that spending much time there gives people a strong urge to leave the planet.

I found the ultimate "normie meme" and I'm posting it because I'm a passive aggressive asshole ...

EricTrommater comments on Mar 31, 2018:

My eyessss!!!!!!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee lol apparently

Anyone else get a kick out of blocking annoying people?

Aralt comments on Mar 31, 2018:

I've blocked one person here so far, but that wasn't because he sent me pic of his goodies :D

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@idlopalev thank goodness the guys here are really good about not doing that crap.

It's easy to imagine what dinosaurs looked like in life, watching these guys.

Donna_I comments on Mar 31, 2018:

40 ft Chickens! Aaaaaah! XD

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@Donna_I southern fried rock

Your personal number

Rosh comments on Mar 31, 2018:

You need to be carefull Remember weird people do hide behind e sites always do your due dilligence and be wary

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@Jnei thank you.

Little johnny may be wise beyond his years.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 31, 2018:

But, then, who would do the housework????

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Housework jokes huh.

Your personal number

Rosh comments on Mar 31, 2018:

You need to be carefull Remember weird people do hide behind e sites always do your due dilligence and be wary

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

I CAME here for the weird people.

Normie Memes R' Us

EricTrommater comments on Mar 31, 2018:

....but I want to be evil!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee I thought it was a slapfight.

Normie Memes R' Us

phxbillcee comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Actually, 3 of these were decent, & 2 of them actually good! The first & last are keepers! I'll let you guys figure what I thought was the only 'good' one out of the other 3!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

The 2nd one gets better if you tag it #dognuts. As in, I've got the dognuts all I need is U. ???

I found the ultimate "normie meme" and I'm posting it because I'm a passive aggressive asshole ...

EricTrommater comments on Mar 31, 2018:

My eyessss!!!!!!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee good morning. Oh no you don't @EricTrommater if you won't come to the fun we'll drag you there .?

It's easy to imagine what dinosaurs looked like in life, watching these guys.

Donna_I comments on Mar 31, 2018:

40 ft Chickens! Aaaaaah! XD

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Good band name

Normie Memes R' Us

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Dr Smith says I should try to do and appreciate more normal things, but I'm starting to have my doubts about him. Is it normal for a doctor to have his office in a van down by the river, and insist you call him "daddy"?

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Completely normal! Does he have candy?

Normie Memes R' Us

EricTrommater comments on Mar 31, 2018:

....but I want to be evil!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@EricTrommater

Normie Memes R' Us

EricTrommater comments on Mar 31, 2018:

....but I want to be evil!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Awwww

I found the ultimate "normie meme" and I'm posting it because I'm a passive aggressive asshole ...

EricTrommater comments on Mar 31, 2018:

My eyessss!!!!!!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Oh is it pick on Eric day again?

I don't even know.

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Not sure who wins the fight, the possum or the beaver

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee the whole thread :)

At least 10 characters

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 31, 2018:

These are great. So much drama

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@nightowl the contrasts are dramatic. Makes them really bold

Yep sounds about right

idlopalev comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Gatorade lol ...Thanks Blindbird your posts always make me chuckle in the morning

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Happy to be of service.

Hope nobody is eating at the monitor tonight. Sorry in advance.

MissingLink16 comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Whew! That was a close one. Was eating something about five minutes ago. Thanks for delaying your post, so I could finish. You're a good friend.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee. ? I'm from florida silly. Alligators arent lizards. Well I mean they are but yeah...

One more round.

TrailRider comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Jelly fish! The wasps of the ocean. These are cool. What part of the country are they taken?

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

These were in our local aquarium. I don't know where the species originates from.

Not all heroes wear clothes. Love you Stormy. Call me!

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

You'll like him, he looks just like The Donald!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@Rudy1962 that's Bills specialty.

Hope nobody is eating at the monitor tonight. Sorry in advance.

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Now I'm hungry

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee thanks to daddy issues, there's an endless supply.

People say I'm the life of the party... Cuz I tell a joke or two.

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 30, 2018:

This ones really going to annoy @phxbillcee and thats half the fun.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee lol

Thank goodness for uber

RavenCT comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Date night?

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

I kissed him but I'm still a toad.

Bad ass bird

MissingLink16 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Only way to get him off that sign is to walk within 50 yards of him with any type of food product!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Best entertainment at the beach by far. I love seeing tourists flee down to the water chased by a screaming crew of these guys after having been specifically told not to feed them.

I don't even know.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I think some of the women on this site would use this!!!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee

I don't even know.

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Not sure who wins the fight, the possum or the beaver

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

That was fucking beautiful.

You guys have me digging through my old photos. :)

Jnei comments on Mar 31, 2018:

I love the misty river... not so keen on the crabs - I don't like crabs or lobsters!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Don't care for shellfish people? ;)

Hope nobody is eating at the monitor tonight. Sorry in advance.

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Now I'm hungry

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@Lincoln16 pretty sure it's soup *for* sluts.

Hope nobody is eating at the monitor tonight. Sorry in advance.

MissingLink16 comments on Mar 31, 2018:

Whew! That was a close one. Was eating something about five minutes ago. Thanks for delaying your post, so I could finish. You're a good friend.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

You're welcome. I'm gross but considerate!

Hope nobody is eating at the monitor tonight. Sorry in advance.

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Now I'm hungry

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@Rudy1962 fair enough

You guys have me digging through my old photos. :)

nightowl comments on Mar 31, 2018:

what a funny moniker- cause you aint blind! i imagine you finding number 02- thinking, nah, i gotta go back...no.3? lawdy lawd. when one looks up the definition of 'atmosphere', no.3 should be next to it. composition is tits, too. keep digging!!!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Thanks! :)

Hope nobody is eating at the monitor tonight. Sorry in advance.

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Now I'm hungry

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

Would you like some soup for sluts?

People say I'm the life of the party... Cuz I tell a joke or two.

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 30, 2018:

This ones really going to annoy @phxbillcee and thats half the fun.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 31, 2018:

@phxbillcee

Don't let motivation keep you down...

sassygirl3869 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I feel motivated to use discipline.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@phxbillcee haha. One of these days I'm going to take you up on that just to see how fast you can run.

For saviors in a hurry

RavenCT comments on Mar 30, 2018:

JHC I have to stop Googling out of curiosity! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dqNMUFkUsA

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

Freaking death cult

Make that a footlong, no onion.

Livinlife comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Day-yum...

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@EricTrommater dude, that's like a whole baby.

Make that a footlong, no onion.

Livinlife comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Day-yum...

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@RavenCT lol good catch.

Taken in Detroit, today.

blago84 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

It is a statue, I saw it from the people mover - it is on one of the platforms. About the colors - it is a phone picture, yet I played with it a little on instagram in order to reach the desired result.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

Love it. I think editing really turns photos into art.

Early morning flight.

SACatWalker comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I would love to be a bird for a day.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

Me too

Yep sounds about right

EricTrommater comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I am the god of Hellfire and I bring you... https://youtu.be/eawL6aJ2nBc

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

That was..weird

Don't let motivation keep you down...

sassygirl3869 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I feel motivated to use discipline.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@phxbillcee wouldn't you like to know.

Don't let motivation keep you down...

sassygirl3869 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I feel motivated to use discipline.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@EricTrommater yeah...not the one I was thinking of.

Make that a footlong, no onion.

Livinlife comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Day-yum...

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@RavenCT I'm not!

Space possum.

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 30, 2018:

(L)

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@phxbillcee bahahaha

@Livinlife 's post got me all sentimental and shit so.....here goes.

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

You are so sentimental & such a softie (around the middle & from the neck up!) We love ya', Boss!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@EricTrommater

@Insectra look what I got. Cant wait to read it.

Insectra comments on Mar 30, 2018:

That looks awesome! You have to let me know how it is!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

I will!

Fitness advice for reptilians...

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I knew it!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

Sssshhhhh

Don't let motivation keep you down...

sassygirl3869 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I feel motivated to use discipline.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@phxbillcee you know I think there's a group for that sort of thing on here.

[getyarn.io] Getting on meet me be like...

Captnron59 comments on Mar 30, 2018:

I got nothing.... nothing there for me...no meme

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

Hmm. Should've been a gif

@Insectra translation please?

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Awwwwww

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@phxbillcee she was warned and nevertheless,she persisted. ;)

@Insectra translation please?

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 30, 2018:

Awwwwww

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@phxbillcee

Today's lesson...

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 30, 2018:

That...makes me inexplicably happy.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@BeeHappy simple pleasures for simple minds!

I'm almost there

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Why are pets not on that list??

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@RavenCT thats udderly ridiculous.

I'm almost there

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Why are pets not on that list??

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@RavenCT we're circling back to sheep aren't we?

A few from last year.

nightowl comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Wish you would have micro'd a bit on that baby turtle- he's so freaking cute!!! number. 04 is mental.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

These were all on my phone and its not that fancy :(

Today's lesson...

phxbillcee comments on Mar 30, 2018:

& who got the horse in the ocean to check this out?!?

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

It was a seahorse

The tragedy of Our Generation... The Mixing of drugs.

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Wine in coffee, wtf. Needs to be whiskey or at least vodka. Heathens!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 30, 2018:

@RavenCT baileys is nice but so much sugar.

What ice cream flavor would you be ?

Tony80223 comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Butter pecan, fat and nuts. Bout sums it up.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

Lol

Technically pregonanacy is also an std.

mistymoon77 comments on Mar 29, 2018:

OMG... that crab is huge! not a good place for it..

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

You'd be even more horrified if you knew where it came from!

To continue my campaign of disgusting, I'm going with sickly sweet. Mwahahahaha

EricTrommater comments on Mar 29, 2018:

I could tell by his bowtie he was trying to sell me meth...

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@RavenCT now @phxbillcee and I are both getting our butts beat.

I will stand up for my belief... That fart jokes are funny!

phxbillcee comments on Mar 29, 2018:

At least defacing an atheist's org.s poster doesn't carry the same penalties as defacing gov't property!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@EricTrommater @phxbillcee boys, I'm pretty sure this is the gutter and we're all down here.

Yet another autocorrect

phxbillcee comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Do not go genital into that good night!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@phxbillcee lol

To continue my campaign of disgusting, I'm going with sickly sweet. Mwahahahaha

EricTrommater comments on Mar 29, 2018:

I could tell by his bowtie he was trying to sell me meth...

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

Matt Smith:The meth doctor. I'll be getting my ass kicked by whovians later if anyones looking for something to watch ;)

One more..

EricTrommater comments on Mar 29, 2018:

What is the sound of one hand clapping!?

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

Fap

Can't stop. Won't stop

phxbillcee comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Hide that last one from @EricTrommater & @Blindbird

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

Where's the peanut butter?!

Can't stop. Won't stop

EricTrommater comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Hey Jesus... We're politically correct around here it's little people porn!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

Been saving this one in hopes I could sneak it in.

And now the weather forecast from Venice Beach (LA) and Blackpool UK

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Get down from there Butt, you are not a back!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@Livinlife I thought it was pretty hot.

Women are from Venus... Men Are from Mars... Donald Trump is from.....?

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Uranus

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

Winner,winner chicken dinner...

When you’re an atheist and still have to cook for the holidays

RavenCT comments on Mar 29, 2018:

That first one is an excellent tip.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@phxbillcee lol benadryl ftw!

I will stand up for my belief... That fart jokes are funny!

phxbillcee comments on Mar 29, 2018:

At least defacing an atheist's org.s poster doesn't carry the same penalties as defacing gov't property!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

Am I the only one who read that as defecating?

Yet another autocorrect

phxbillcee comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Do not go genital into that good night!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@phxbillcee nobody gets me. Le sigh

4 masturbation and one cheating wench memes:)

EricTrommater comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Lmao @ I have needs too!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@Rudy1962 fair point

12 years later and they still won't leave Britney Alone...

DenoPenno comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Emma Gonzalez is not attacking anyone's truck. This is a fake photo shopped image that makes a meme for a butt hurt gun owner that thinks the idea of the march is to take guns away. Wake up and try reading for a change.

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

Sorry @EricTrommater this is funnier than the meme

No, I'm just trying to be a cat and an opossum meme all in one...a catossum if you wil.

Insectra comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Born to hiss!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@phxbillcee possum party!

I'm almost there

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Why are pets not on that list??

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@EricTrommater goldfish?

4 masturbation and one cheating wench memes:)

sassygirl3869 comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Well-my 22 yr old just looked at the screen here-....

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

Bahaha

4 masturbation and one cheating wench memes:)

EricTrommater comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Lmao @ I have needs too!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@EricTrommater. Blindbird is a hot mess

4 masturbation and one cheating wench memes:)

EricTrommater comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Lmao @ I have needs too!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@Rudy1962 let the spirit come upon you.

We really don't have enough bicycle or sushi humor in this place...

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Seems fishy

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@EricTrommater giggity

Lost at sea with this one...

EricTrommater comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Jesus is hung like a light switch!

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

Maybe why its taken him so long to come a second time?

We really don't have enough bicycle or sushi humor in this place...

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Seems fishy

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@EricTrommater can be given two ways too!

We really don't have enough bicycle or sushi humor in this place...

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 29, 2018:

Seems fishy

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@EricTrommater I might saki someone before the days over.

12 years later and they still won't leave Britney Alone...

OpposingOpposum comments on Mar 29, 2018:

https://youtu.be/WqSTXuJeTks

OpposingOpposum replies on Mar 29, 2018:

@EricTrommater nope think I'm gonna go have to hunt that up now