Love will come your way

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 30, 2022:

If I were a betting person, I'd say the odds are better than even that I will die before I find my next long term relationship, which would only be the second one in my life. I am too much of an outlier for my local dating pool..

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@GreenAtheist I have been friends for some time with the woman who used to run the Singletarians group, before it dissolved right after my late wife died. She told me the reason it ended was because none of the single women in the church had any interest in dating anymore, at least the ones in my age group, so she said the group was almost all men and it was not worth continuing. So that church is a dead end for me on dating. The group ended five years ago. If anything has changed with the single women at the church in my age group, since the group ended, she would have told me.

Several prominent Russian businessmen have died by apparent suicide in just three months - CNN

DenoPenno comments on Sep 3, 2022:

My take on this is when Vlad finds out you are against his war he will have you killed just to prevent you from talking about it. Businessman or not, if you are silenced the public knows not to engage in anti-war talk. They are afraid to even talk to the neighbor about it but secretly people know ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@DenoPenno The whole history of Russia in the last century shows that it doesn't matter if the system is capitalist or communist, Russia has had a totalitarian government the whole time, and for the average citizen, they are no more free under either economic system. And economically, most Russians were better off under communism..

Several prominent Russian businessmen have died by apparent suicide in just three months - CNN

DenoPenno comments on Sep 3, 2022:

My take on this is when Vlad finds out you are against his war he will have you killed just to prevent you from talking about it. Businessman or not, if you are silenced the public knows not to engage in anti-war talk. They are afraid to even talk to the neighbor about it but secretly people know ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 3, 2022:

Just like the old Soviet days when people had to worry about their neighbors ratting them out to the KGB.

The times are changing

Redheadedgammy comments on Sep 1, 2022:

My new shirt Glenn, got it today and will be wearing it often!

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 3, 2022:

@Redheadedgammy I am too.

Thoughts on this?

racocn8 comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Stupid and asinine. Let the city buy apartment complexes if that's the path they want. Putting any of them in conventional housing is a prescription to destroy those assets. Many homeless WANT to be on the street. They include: 1) Mentally ill; 2) Behaviorally ill; 3) Out of work/resources/just ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 3, 2022:

I would agree, but the leaders of both parties are unwilling to spend the kind of military budget money that would be needed to provide the necessary specialized help. Plus, the corporate donors to both parties want to keep the homeless population around as a warning to the peasant workers that this could be them if they get out of line and too uppity to their employers...

Thoughts on this?

Theresa_N comments on Sep 2, 2022:

I think it's a great idea. I used to be with a group that advocated that families take in homeless people. Theres no good reason that people have to go without housing.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 3, 2022:

Bet none of the families who participated were conservatives, since they feel the homeless need to die quietly in the gutter, all of their own fault, rather than be treated as human.

The times are changing

Redheadedgammy comments on Sep 1, 2022:

My new shirt Glenn, got it today and will be wearing it often!

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 2, 2022:

Why is the photo sideways?

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

BitFlipper comments on Aug 22, 2022:

People of both sexes like to include photos of the things they have accomplished. Women inexplicably include pictures of their offspring.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@BitFlipper Calling them sex trophies seems overly harsh. I see the photos of kids and grandkids more as the women displaying achievements they are proud of, mostly for how the kids were supposedly ending up happy and healthy, whether that is the case or not, that is the image the woman is trying to project.

The 'Safe and Effective' vaccines may not prevent infection or transmission.

creative51 comments on Aug 31, 2022:

I am fully vaccinated and boosted. I wear a mask when in stores or offices. I use hand wash when appropriate. At this point in time, I have never had any covid. Hmmm...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@MyTVC15 I can understand that. I was with my wife until a couple hours before she died, and the hospice nurse at that time said it could be later that night or it could be another day or so, I needed to go to work the next morning, so I went home, and then got the call from the nurse later that evening. I hope you are able to eventually get past feeling haunted about it, either with therapy or some other healing experiences.

America's like a car accident.

Switchcraft comments on Sep 2, 2022:

I keep waiting for that one wreck that makes the maga nutjobs start to rethink, but it never happens/

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 2, 2022:

And it never will. They are immune to seeing reality.

The 'Safe and Effective' vaccines may not prevent infection or transmission.

creative51 comments on Aug 31, 2022:

I am fully vaccinated and boosted. I wear a mask when in stores or offices. I use hand wash when appropriate. At this point in time, I have never had any covid. Hmmm...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@MyTVC15 I would blame him too. Covid was such a hell for the elderly in facilities and their families, who couldn't visit them in person until they were in their final days. I am so glad that my late father and my late wife both died before Covid, so we could visit both of them frequently in person.

America's like a car accident.

TomMcGiverin comments on Sep 2, 2022:

How dare reporters ask a Repub to justify their election by pinning them down on policy and trying to hold them accountable later on for not living up to their pre-election promises of what they'll do in office? Don't those reporters know that being a Repub pol means you only need to campaign on Fox...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@PadraicM I know, that would be asking too much...Personal responsibility is not for Repub pols, only for losers that are not rich or part of the privileged classes. Those people need to just suck it up and pull on those bootstraps..

The 'Safe and Effective' vaccines may not prevent infection or transmission.

creative51 comments on Aug 31, 2022:

I am fully vaccinated and boosted. I wear a mask when in stores or offices. I use hand wash when appropriate. At this point in time, I have never had any covid. Hmmm...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@MyTVC15 At least for me, not being able to speak or walk after a stroke is no kind of life, so if I suffered one like that, I would hope that the stroke finished me off, and if it didn't, I would probably be considering suicide.

The 'Safe and Effective' vaccines may not prevent infection or transmission.

creative51 comments on Aug 31, 2022:

I am fully vaccinated and boosted. I wear a mask when in stores or offices. I use hand wash when appropriate. At this point in time, I have never had any covid. Hmmm...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 2, 2022:

@MyTVC15 I am very sorry to hear that. You seem like a cool gal. You are not a bummer, at least not to me. I prefer people that are courageous enough to tell the truth, esp. about their mortality and health status. As for my health, I have a few mild chronic heart conditions, but they are stable and really don't affect me very much or very often these days. And my parents both lived to be pretty old, so as long as I don't suffer a stroke from those heart conditions, I may live to around 90, like my father, or I may not. So I try to do as much as possible while I am still younger than my 80s, because that is where I really saw my parents begin to decline in health. I'm currently 63. My heart conditions were inherited from my parents, and they lived a long time with theirs, so maybe I will too.

White nationalist: After School Satan clubs are an 'act of terrorism'

KKGator comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Clodfelter can kiss my dimpled, white ass. I love that satanists make the NatCs so crazy.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 2, 2022:

It's sort of the liberal version of "Owning the cons", only without the outrageous lying that conservatives use to own the libs...

Turkish Airlines

creative51 comments on Sep 1, 2022:

This needs to be deleted. Total troll,scam, what ever you want to call it.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 1, 2022:

That's what happens, once a site is left unmanaged, the scammers and advertisers overrun it with shit like this..

Sarah Palin loses in bid to be a House member from Alaska.

David1955 comments on Sep 1, 2022:

And they used what you call ranked voting, what we call preferential voting, and America would greatly improve if its adoption was general there.

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 1, 2022:

So true, but most voters aren't aware of it and the two major parties would never allow it, same as with public financing of federal election campaigns being fully funded, because they know it would spell the end of their winning elections and their stranglehold on federal elections.

The 'Safe and Effective' vaccines may not prevent infection or transmission.

creative51 comments on Aug 31, 2022:

I am fully vaccinated and boosted. I wear a mask when in stores or offices. I use hand wash when appropriate. At this point in time, I have never had any covid. Hmmm...

TomMcGiverin replies on Sep 1, 2022:

@MyTVC15 That is the tradeoff, your physical health for the social isolation and emotional toll of no longer doing all the social things that you enjoyed.

The 'Safe and Effective' vaccines may not prevent infection or transmission.

creative51 comments on Aug 31, 2022:

I am fully vaccinated and boosted. I wear a mask when in stores or offices. I use hand wash when appropriate. At this point in time, I have never had any covid. Hmmm...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 31, 2022:

@creative51 Who knows? I might, I might not. I have had scans of my heart after both episodes and they detected no signs of damage to it, tho they were looking for it, as the scans were for chronic issues they were monitoring. I do know that I have no idea how many years of decent health I have left or when I will die, but in the meantime, I am going to go on with my life doing the social and recreational activities I missed out on for almost a year and a half before vaccines were available to me, like going to watch swimming meets, karaoke, and live music. Because those things help me cope emotionally with being widowed and alone and failing at online dating. But in the meantime, I will continue to hold off on traveling until I can find another partner or Covid becomes less of a risk with that sort of exposure.

The 'Safe and Effective' vaccines may not prevent infection or transmission.

creative51 comments on Aug 31, 2022:

I am fully vaccinated and boosted. I wear a mask when in stores or offices. I use hand wash when appropriate. At this point in time, I have never had any covid. Hmmm...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 31, 2022:

I know someone older than me, age 75, who, like you, has done everything right to avoid Covid, and she succeeded, until she took a long trip to Europe this summer with her adult daughter. And then she got Covid, but it was a mild case. When she's back here, she is very cautious about where she will go in public to avoid crowds, while I am more daring about going to crowded places for karaoke and live music. I have gotten Covid twice so far, tho fully vaxed and boosted the second time, recently, that I got it. My second case was mild too. My lesson from her experience? It's still best to avoid going on cruises or traveling out of the country, two things, along with flying commercially, that I have avoided doing since Covid.

So much has changed, My freshman year, my books were $40 with half covered by a scholarship, the ...

NHjulie comments on Aug 31, 2022:

When I started college, it was $150 a semester for tuition, $300 for my final semester. Rented 2 bedroom apt inside a home for $35 a week. When I returned a mere 5 years later, same school was $3000 a semester. Yes, this was under Reagan. I've seen so many people my age talking about how they paid ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 31, 2022:

That is the mantra of conservatives and Libertarians, I got mine, and FU to everyone else...

The 'Safe and Effective' vaccines may not prevent infection or transmission.

skado comments on Aug 31, 2022:

Anybody can make graphics and type claims. Can you provide a direct link to a CDC page that says the same thing?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 31, 2022:

I don't think he is willing to do that, he wants to keep the info limited to his state's Libertarian, anti vax organization's site, not the CDC. Sounds like someone has drank the Trump Kool-Aid about the deep state...

Republican Heads Spinning As Biden Calls MAGA Thugs ‘Semi-Fascist’ Prominent Republicans ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 30, 2022:

Wish he had the balls to call them the fascists they are, without qualification....and not just the MAGA followers, but the Repubs in congress that support them.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 31, 2022:

@racocn8 Your interpretation seems correct.

So much has changed, My freshman year, my books were $40 with half covered by a scholarship, the ...

phxbillcee comments on Aug 30, 2022:

The cost of education has sky-rocketed & this is not the fault of the students. Many nations subsidize higher education as it has short & long term benefits for the society.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 30, 2022:

We certainly would have more progressive politics than we have if most people were college educated, instead of the regressive, reactionary kind we have now. But, as Reagan's advisor privately admitted, we can't have a majority of college-educated peasants, they might get dangerous ideas about equality and revolution, etc...

Conservative Christian groups are targeting Louisiana libraries : NPR

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 30, 2022:

The right wing assholes are bullies and ignoramuses, but in that state, it's probably a qualification for public office...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 30, 2022:

@jlynn37 Including mine, Iowa is not much better. We get the same kind of yahoos showing up at school and library board meetings.

42 year old widower.

Organist1 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

I'm sorry you feel that way, but honestly, I haven't noticed that.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 30, 2022:

@Organist1 You were, but it looks like it's over between me and the dog man. He couldn't take it, so he blocked me. I am not sore at you, I just think he kind of used you to diss racocn8, and didn't like being called out on it. It's over now, and you were just pulled along in his game. BTW, Howard-racocn8, saw it after I messaged him and agreed with me about what this guy was doing here. That's probably why he blocked me and exited the argument, as he might have been afraid Howard was coming in here to also call him on it, and he didn't want to get humiliated or embarrassed by two guys calling him on his bullshit.

42 year old widower.

Organist1 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

I'm sorry you feel that way, but honestly, I haven't noticed that.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 30, 2022:

@PondartIncbendog I'm not going to paint either of you a picture, so to speak. Why don't you message racocn8 about it, and maybe he'll agree to indulge you more than I'm willing to here, since he is the one you were acting dismissive towards, more than me... His first name is Howard, username racocn8, he makes a sincere, serious point about the genders and rejection of others for dating based on looks, you jump in later in the thread and start up making jokes about looks and whether you are cute or not, etc.. then Organist1 plays along and jokes with you. Now do you get it????? I'm not saying I'm smarter than either of you, but I sure as hell seem to be more socially observant..... as well as more respectful when someone is being serious and sincere.... It appears that Pondartincbendog blocked me, guess he couldn't take the truth of me calling him out on his innocent, dumb act after he dissed racocn8. I'll just call that a win and take it....

42 year old widower.

racocn8 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

That is one of the main problems on dating sites. Most women reject most men on looks. That is part of why I hate Disney, which inculcated that value in all the princess movies.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@racocn8 I have no idea what Lorajay said, because there is a block between her and me, but I'm guessing she jumped in and defended her gender, predictably as always, and said something like men were worse or more common than women in rejecting on looks for dating.

42 year old widower.

Organist1 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

I'm sorry you feel that way, but honestly, I haven't noticed that.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@PondartIncbendog racocn8. Didn't you see his comment and how you and Organist1 started getting all cutesy and joking about the subject he raised? I promise you that he did, because he messaged me about how the thread progressed after his comment above. Care to step in and speak for yourself, Howard, instead of me defending you here?

Christian school forfeits football game against team with two girls on roster

rainmanjr comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Seems like a great strategy for others to follow.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@Barnie2years I can mostly agree with you. I find wrestling pretty gross overall, no matter which gender is doing it. With males, I find it very homoerotic, if you know what I mean... Still, as long as people are making their own choices and not using unhealthy or banned drugs for sports, I am ok with people playing whatever sports they want, regardless of gender or gender identity. It's the same way I support abortion rights, let people make their own choices. I trust them to do the right thing for themselves, rather than passing laws that say I or some religion knows better than them. And if they make a bad choice, it's their life, not mine. The only exception I make is when religious nutcase parents, like Christian Scientists or Jehovah's Witnesses, deny medical care to their minor children, and cause them harm or death, because those kids are too young and dependent, as well as brainwashed, to protect themselves from their parents dangerous choices. Only in those sort of cases of parental abuse or neglect, should the state step in and overrule private choices.

42 year old widower.

Organist1 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

I'm sorry you feel that way, but honestly, I haven't noticed that.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@PondartIncbendog And once again Howard, racocn8 from above in the thread has probably noticed, we see that when the discussion gets too tense, uncomfortable, or heated, the clowns show up to lighten things up by making fun of the points you (Howard) are making....So predictable and true to form...... Like Jack Nicholson said in A Few Good Men, some people can't handle uncomfortable truths....

42 year old widower.

racocn8 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

That is one of the main problems on dating sites. Most women reject most men on looks. That is part of why I hate Disney, which inculcated that value in all the princess movies.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@racocn8 I've had an interesting discussion with a female friend I met on Match that is a psych social worker, 75 yo and very much a feminist, but she refuses to accept your viewpoint that women are just as likely as men, much less more likely than men, to reject others for dating based on looks. She keeps saying that women are more likely than men to accept dating partners that are "not conventionally good looking". I concede that she might be right about that, but that does not negate or change the trend of women being more frequent than men in rejecting for looks on dating sites. All it proves or says, is that women have maybe more exceptions among them, than men, who will date someone who is not conventionally good-looking. Her argument, while it may be true, is something I see as more of an excuse or rationalization for not believing that women are just as shallow as men, if not more, when it comes to rejecting dating partners on looks.

National Anger Over the Removal of Abortion Rights Is Catching Up to the GOP – Mother Jones

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Keep shouting, "Roe, Roe, Roe your boat."

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

It's pretty pathetic that these days the Dems have nothing to run on except " We're not as crazy as them and we're not fascists or theocrats", instead of being able to honestly say they are making things better for the average American. It's been a couple decades now that it's been that way, which is why I want a third party that actually gives us a choice for progress, instead of defensively voting lesser evil to slow down the damage..

Christian school forfeits football game against team with two girls on roster

xenoview comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Scared of being beat by girls.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@rainmanjr I know they can't, but the schools have their parent or guardian sign for them. I've seen the forms. Hell, these days, you even have to sign a liability waiver like that to play Little League or to run in a road race. Your stance is why some political moderates hate liberals and lefties, because we come off as being advocates of a nanny state that goes overboard, in their eyes, by trying to eliminate all risk in life. We need to be aware of that and avoid playing into the stereotype there....

Christian school forfeits football game against team with two girls on roster

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Dumbshits. I taught and coached at a private school and the league in which we played contained at least three xtion schools. Not just the students, but the parents were some of the worst behaved assholes. I and two others stopped a fight at a basketball game between parents. The xtions had been ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

I've heard the same thing from other school sports coaches about Christian schools, that they have the worst behaved parents and athletes, and also some of the dirtiest players, since they believe more than other schools in win at all cost, rather than sportsmanship.. I still say things like Goddamn and JFC too, when I am angry, not that I believe in either being..... It's instinctive habit...

Christian school forfeits football game against team with two girls on roster

xenoview comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Scared of being beat by girls.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@rainmanjr I'm sure the girls, as well as boys who wrestle, have to sign their rights away for any liability on the part of the schools involved as well as the officials and other competitors. So no, there would be no risk of a lawsuit against a boy opponent.

Christian school forfeits football game against team with two girls on roster

rainmanjr comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Seems like a great strategy for others to follow.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@rainmanjr Have to respectfully disagree. As long as high schools have football, which may not be the case after I'm dead, without serious rule changes to protect the players, I support equal opportunity, for both genders. I hear you about the safety risks, but have to respectfully agree to disagree. Personally, I would like to see high school football continue, but only with enough drastic rule changes to make it a lot safer, for any gender. But, like a lot of things, I'm not in charge of the universe and don't make the rules, same as I would like to see recent proof of therapy for anyone to be able to join a dating site. So you and I can wish all we want about how things should be, but our opinions won't change a damn thing about how things are run by organizations..

Some salmon for my son,my daughter and I like the tilapia more.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 29, 2022:

No offense, Aaron, but are we ever going to have singles post here about something besides food, pets, and wildlife? Surely there are other aspects to single life besides dating and those things...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@glennlab Not interested in posting, just thought someone should point out the obvious, and instead, I appear to get bashed for it with sarcasm by Aaron, the dominant poster..

Former Elder Robert Lee Harris Convicted Of Killing Wife In Kansas

KKGator comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Hope he's got a very full dance card in prison, but not in the fun way.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@Beowulfsfriend I corrected it.

Christian school forfeits football game against team with two girls on roster

rainmanjr comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Seems like a great strategy for others to follow.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@rainmanjr I'm not a fan of football either, since I find the game too violent to even watch, but for me it's the same as gays and lesbians in the military. I would never have joined and am not a fan of the military in general, but I believe in equal rights and opportunity, so if the girls want to play football, it's their choice and not my business. Title IX is all about that equal opportunity for women and girls. I too am worried about concussions in football but it's their choice, for both males and females. That's not the same as using steroids in sports, where the cheating dopers are indirectly trying to force their competitors to do the same in order to win. That's why sports have rules against doping and enforce testing and bans to allow clean athletes to have a fair chance to win.

Christian school forfeits football game against team with two girls on roster

rainmanjr comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Seems like a great strategy for others to follow.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

Suit up at least one girl and collect the forfeit. I do hope the lawsuit against them succeeds and that they are kicked out of the conference. They need to play with themselves, literally, lol! Maybe they and their shithead coach can have a circle jerk...

Former Elder Robert Lee Harris Convicted Of Killing Wife In Kansas

KKGator comments on Aug 29, 2022:

Hope he's got a very full dance card in prison, but not in the fun way.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

He'll either stay in protective custody or make friends with a black gang that will protect him.

Let's talk about access to higher education.... - Beau of the Fifth Column [youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 28, 2022:

That is why in Europe, esp. in England, free college based on merit, rather than being able to afford it, and the rich have always hated it. And even in that merit system, the rich kids still get into the best colleges, thru their connections and thru sending their kids to the best prep schools, so ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 29, 2022:

@phxbillcee Sounds like a Talking Heads lyric, lol!

Same-Sex Marriage Support Inches Up to New High of 71%

RussRAB comments on Aug 28, 2022:

In the decision overturning Roe, Justice Thomas specifically targeted same sex marriage and access to birth contol. Will this extreme right wing court buck the opinions of the majority to roll back marriage equaliy as they did with women's reproductive rights? I'm not holding my breath.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

If they do, there'll be an even bigger backlash than we have now against the Repubs..

42 year old widower.

racocn8 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

That is one of the main problems on dating sites. Most women reject most men on looks. That is part of why I hate Disney, which inculcated that value in all the princess movies.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

@racocn8 I believe you, Howard, even tho most women have told me the opposite, but that could easily be because few women are willing to think negatively about other members of their gender and would rather defend the sisterhood than admit that women can be as bad or sometimes worse than men in their dating behavior. And there are men who are the same way about reflexively defending their gender.

42 year old widower.

Wangobango3 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Get a better photo. Create a more optimistic biography.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

If your bio and photos on the real dating sites, not Agnostic, are like what you have on your profile here, I would have to concur with Wangobango on this.. As a fellow widowed man, I would also state in your profile and your first messages that you send out to women, how long you have been widowed, since most women who see in your profile that you are widowed will assume that you are still grieving, not over your late wife, looking for someone to be just like her and replace her, etc. I know that sounds really negative, cynical, etc., but that is how a lot of divorced, never widowed women think on dating sites, so stating that you have been widowed for at least a few years, if that is the honest truth, is helpful in overcoming some of those negative assumptions carried by many women on dating sites regarding widowed men. And the fact is that some divorced women will never give widowed men a chance on dating sites, simply because they are afraid of someone with a different experience than them with marriage and also because they want a man who shares their experience with divorce that they can commiserate with over that, even if he has a worse track record on relationships than the widowed men. Sounds stupid and illogical, but who said that many people would rather keep trying the same thing over and over while expecting a different result...

Looking for love

Sticks48 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Of course you are. 🙃

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

I'm sure "she" has big love enough for all the men on here, lol...

Dear Admin, Could you please advise if there is a plan in place to not renew the domain ...

HippieChick58 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Check out Atheist Universe, it might be the FB of the internet for Atheists. Some of us have opened profiles over there, just in case. I am not going to leave until the doors are shut for good, but as that is a possibility, be prepared.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

Oh my Paula, (Hippie Chick), whatever will you do if I join your AU Progressive Atheists group and you are not the moderator there and able to ban or boot me? You might have to deal with not having the power to be petty and spiteful, while abusing the authority of a mod....

I am glad to see the Biden admin take an aggressive stance on hypocrisy! The White House ...

Redheadedgammy comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Repubs are soulless bastards who could care less for their constituents! They only serve their fucking donors!

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 28, 2022:

Unfortunately, most of the Dems in congress are the same way, they are just a bit less obvious about it...

The Democratic Party is a Fifth Column for Right-wing Lunacy - CounterPunch.org

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 27, 2022:

The Dem Party needs to be blown up and replaced by a Peoples or Workers Party that refuses corporate or PAC money and raises it the way Bernie has shown it can be raised..

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@WilliamCharles I feel exactly like the quote on resistance. We are entering a phase where fascism is very likely in the next few years. Our side may well lose, with the fascists being aided or at least given sympathetic support by the cops, the military and the Dem Party, but I am willing to fight them in the streets, if necessary. Because not doing so and letting fascism finally openly take over here is not a life I would find worth living under.

Now that we are approaching the possible demise of Agnostic.

Theresa_N comments on Aug 18, 2022:

I say all of us of a progressive bent and agnostic or atheist set another place to congregate, hopefully advertisement free. I won't sign up for facebook unless I absolutely have to.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@Organist1 Same here, I'm not good at leading or starting groups.

Now that we are approaching the possible demise of Agnostic.

Theresa_N comments on Aug 18, 2022:

I say all of us of a progressive bent and agnostic or atheist set another place to congregate, hopefully advertisement free. I won't sign up for facebook unless I absolutely have to.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@Organist1 I assume you're talking about Jo Slaight, that's who banned me from the FB Agnostics group.

Now that we are approaching the possible demise of Agnostic.

Theresa_N comments on Aug 18, 2022:

I say all of us of a progressive bent and agnostic or atheist set another place to congregate, hopefully advertisement free. I won't sign up for facebook unless I absolutely have to.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 27, 2022:

@Organist1 Me too. If another FB group gets started for refugees from here, I hope someone lets me know about it.

Right wing lunatic accidentally makes a sexual reference while spewing hatred [youtu.be]

phoenixone1 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

The right wing is pushing really hard for a civil war...plain and simple. This POS is the best they have to offer...this is the maniac they want at the head of the charge...single cell genius tRUMP wants people like THIS IDIOT to lead the charge...won't be much of a charge.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 26, 2022:

If guys like this are the ones who will be fighting civil war against those who support democracy, bring it on, let's get it over with, since his type will never change or be pacified. Let them be killed or go to prison. Let's hope that enough of the cops and military are sane enough to not look the other way or support these idiots. I am still not optimistic about that last prospect, but I am tired of our leaders tip toeing around these fools out of fear for them, lets get it over with, regardless of the outcome. Otherwise, we will never move past Trumpism...

Right wing lunatic accidentally makes a sexual reference while spewing hatred [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 26, 2022:

This guy looks, talks, and sounds just like the MAGA yahoos that I have seen around my town. I agree they are nuts and there is no point wasting breath or energy on them. They certainly have the authorities here intimidated and in my town, they are also part of the majority view, unfortunately. Most...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@zeuser Can't, I'm stuck here. I need my local friends too badly, tho they live in other nearby cities, and I'm not rich enough to afford a similar home where they live.

Right wing lunatic accidentally makes a sexual reference while spewing hatred [youtu.be]

racocn8 comments on Aug 26, 2022:

And what is the humane course when encountering a frothing-at-the-mouth rabid dog?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 26, 2022:

Putting them down lethally or in this case, maybe using a taser or a tranquilizer gun?

Cassville, Mo.

ThinkingFree comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Hitting someone who is half your size only creates anger, resentment, or hatred in that child. It teaches them nothing useful at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 26, 2022:

@Beowulfsfriend I eventually hit back, but I never went on to hitting others, even when I wanted to, as my father did pass on to me his angry temper. I have done my best to temper it as I get older.

I'm not sure how Trump will get out of this one. Honestly, I can't wait to see what happens.

BitFlipper comments on Aug 25, 2022:

He won't get out of it, but his disciples will make a hell of an insurgency.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

I think he will get out of it, and his followers will successfully repeat the insurgency if he loses in two years or is in danger of going to prison. These fools are willing to die for him.

Relationship Worries

skado comments on Aug 21, 2022:

You could lead him on a while and break up later, if you prefer.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

@Betty I don't agree with doing it either, but it's become clear to me with online dating that many people do play that game, use people for a while and then reveal who they really are when they are done and ready to leave. Way more selfish than I would ever be..

NC Lt. Gov.: Kids shouldn't learn science or history in school

glennlab comments on Aug 25, 2022:

"What a maroon," BB.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

That's my favorite Bugs line too!

Cassville, Mo.

ThinkingFree comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Hitting someone who is half your size only creates anger, resentment, or hatred in that child. It teaches them nothing useful at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

@RussRAB And as soon as they are old and big enough, they will hit back..

NC Lt. Gov.: Kids shouldn't learn science or history in school

racocn8 comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Hopefully the democrats will put his mental illness and rank hatred on full display.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

Doing that might not even make any difference. Southern states have notoriously stupid voters.

Trump says he stole the classified documents to put them in his Presidential Library.

MyTVC15 comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Ever since he became president I have wondered what would go in a Trump presidential library. With all the really great places I have never been, I do not think you will ever see me there.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

@Betty A wall smeared with ketchup?

Trump says he stole the classified documents to put them in his Presidential Library.

Betty comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Maybe if someone chanted...Lier, lier pant on fire...it would be at his intellect level. 😂

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

I wouldn't bet on it working. Regardless of his intellectual level, his emotional level is pretty clearly equal to your average two year old... I think the recent revelation of the ketchup on the wall pretty well proves that...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

@Betty I was not offended, and I did get that you were hearing me and sympathizing, and I know the suggestions were not intended to be fixes. We're good, Betty, no worries...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 25, 2022:

@Betty I'm not interested in ideas for fixing it, as I really doubt anybody has done as much research as I have on how this stuff works, and even if they did, they don't live where I do, so they are unlikely to know my local situation like I do. Again, I just want to be heard, understood, and hear about the experiences of others that may be similar. You have done some of that, but what's funny, Betty, is that you have also tried to do what men, rather than women, are notorious for trying to do when someone is seeking what I am seeking, which is trying to fix someone or their situation, when all they want is to be heard, validated, and supported emotionally by finding out what other people may have experienced along that line... If there were ideas that could actually help me succeed more with online dating, I would have already heard them from my therapist, who used to be on Match until a few years ago, or someone else local that is single that I have encountered thru the singles scene or Match.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Betty It's ok, I am not asking anybody here to fix my situation, just to be heard, understood and maybe also get some idea if anybody else is in my situation, rather than being or feeling terminally unique, so to speak...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

BudFrank comments on Aug 24, 2022:

I don't fish so I don't know

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

Neither do I, but I've worked with lots of guys that do, so I figured I was qualified to offer a guess...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Betty I appreciate your suggestion about broadening the search and dating LD, but I will not do that, first, because LD dating is so much harder as far as time and emotional toll, and secondly, I have looked into it in the past with Match, and the women in cities farther away that are better dating pools than here, are never interested in trying LD dating, for that same reason, and also because none of them are ever interested in moving to the Des Moines area. So the stalemate continues..... The bottom line is, nobody is ever interested in moving away from where they are if they are tied there by family and/ or friends, esp. if their city or area is already more diverse and enjoyable than where you already live. That is why the women I have talked to about it on Match that live in Chicago or Minneapolis, hundreds of miles away, same as Kansas City, won't date anyone LD, because whenever they've tried it, it hasn't worked out, usually because neither person is willing to move, and in the end, someone needs to. And I won't move because I'm scared to death of the emotional blow of the relationship failing, having my hopes dashed, and then having to move back here and start all over, including rebuilding my friendships here. None of that, or LD dating, would be so daunting or hard if I were still young, but I'm not, nor am I as strong now emotionally, so I can't risk it. It's also much harder at my age to make new friends in a new city...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Betty That's all I can do, is be as honest as I can, with a bad dating pool, and walk the line of the balancing act needed to give myself a fighting chance. I have little doubt that your dating pool is probably better, for someone like me, than mine is, and that I would probably be more successful with online dating where you live. That is if most of the women there are not as religious, not as hung up on only dating family men with kids, and not as into drinking as the basis of their social life.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Betty For my money, it's much better and more preferable to know right up front. I suppose that holding back info is probably necessary and better if it involves something complex or complicated, such as an issue that would be hard to explain or state briefly and effectively in a profile essay. For example, my local online dating pool is chock full of very family oriented women and the vast majority of them have kids. I get rejected a ton for being childfree. I do list myself in the traits section of my profile as No kids for my kids situation. Evading the issue and not listing anything for that trait would only make women more suspicious for me being so far out of the mainstream for my dating pool on kids. But stating why I never had kids would be too cumbersome and negative-seeming to put in a profile essay. So I let them wonder about the why of my being childless, even tho some of them will assume that it means I was a player before I got married, that I hate kids, or that I was never a serious person when I was younger, before I met my wife, etc. Issues like that are ones where you can't really win no matter what you do before connecting with the person, at which time you can finally give a full explanation of how you ended up childless. Until that opportunity comes up, you just have to take the hits that will come from women assuming the worst about someone so different from the experience of them and everyone they know. I'm also a non-drinker, a similar issue where I'm very much out of the mainstream for my dating pool. What to do? I lie about my status on that trait so I don't get red-flagged immediately on that and rejected before I can even connect with the woman and explain my reasons for not drinking and that I am very tolerant and open-minded about a partner that drinks moderately. So I list myself as a social drinker on that trait in my profile, saying Sometimes, depends on the day, so that way I don't get pegged and assumed, as a non-drinker, as someone who is either a recovering alcoholic or a judgemental teetotaler, both of which would be considered undateable by almost all women, except ones who are recovering alcoholics, who would date recovering men, or the very few non-drinker women out there in the pool. Finally, I use the cop-out label Spiritual, but not religious, for my profile trait of religious affiliation, simply because most women in my local online dating pool are too ignorant to know what Agnostic means and also because the former label is less harsh or off-putting than Agnostic, and gives me a chance to connect with some women who are fairly tolerant and open-minded about dating a non-religious man if he is ok with their being moderately religious, which I am. But listing myself as Agnostic up front would probably ...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Sierra4 comments on Aug 24, 2022:

I have been on Match, but no more. I don't hunt and fish so no pictures of that. I never thought anyone wanted to see my car. Just photos of me. BUT there were women in my age group who would post ten pictures. One a selfie of themselves in a mirror and the rest were grandkids, their cat(s) and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

Exactly right. Like BitFlipper said below, both men and women tend to use lots of photos showing what they are proud of or what they feel is important to them, regarding themselves, regardless of how appropriate or not the rest of us think those photos are for a dating profile. And it will never change. And another thing, tho I can't comment on what men do with dating profile photos, but I have seen women with up to 26 photos in their profile. Can someone say narcissist, conceited, full of themselves, etc.? I thought you could...Have also seen women with lots of photos of themselves showing off their cleavage, etc., but they did not appear to be scammers. They seemed to be using real photos, but were probably just going for either the ego trip of seeing how much attention they could get from men or else were just on the site to find casual sex....

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Lauren comments on Aug 24, 2022:

I'd say those pictures are pretty effective in that they let you know immediately that you're not interested in them, so it's a time saver for you. But in fairness, not all fishermen do it as a reflection of their sexual prowess, and not all of them are good ol' boys. I know a lot who eat ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

I do too, partly because I want to know if they have at least some, preferably at least half of my interests, so I know if there's a chance of compatibility. Plus, tho I try to avoid making assumptions and instead try to ask ?s to clarify things about the interests they have which don't match mine, sometimes their choice of interests tell me things about them that are not there in the rest of the profile, such as their financial level and class level, or how family -oriented they are. Because nowadays, lots of people on dating sites play it very close to the vest and give out little info about themselves in their profiles. Which seems to be what most of the dating sites want. I can see the day coming when most dating sites have mostly profiles that are little more than photos, first name, age, relationship status, city, and not much more than that... The profiles will look like a typical FB profile page, nothing more... And yet, even as the dating sites continue to provide a worse product and services, they will continue to charge us more. Anybody but me see something wrong with that? It's called industry consolidation and lack of real competition, as well as corporate greed...

Atheists are nicer to Christians compared to the other way around if their religious identity is ...

Fernapple comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Well we don't have a lecture every Sunday on how important the congregation is, and how superior they are to everyone else, for one.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 24, 2022:

@Fernapple I am generally modest, but when it comes to a group that is generally so arrogant and superior-acting to non-believers, esp. around where I live, I am going to choose honesty and say the truth of my superiority to them overall, compared to most of them.

Come and get it y’all! I put the “hot” in psychotic.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Unfortunately, the last two times I've been to my local senior center for lunch, our two resident MAGA guys haven't been there. Otherwise, I would fix her up with a double date. They would all deserve each other in a threesome..... That is, assuming Trumpers do threesomes with two guys....

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

@glennlab Possibly including brothers? Talk about (a) circle (of) jerks....

Atheists are nicer to Christians compared to the other way around if their religious identity is ...

Fernapple comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Well we don't have a lecture every Sunday on how important the congregation is, and how superior they are to everyone else, for one.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

I already know I'm superior to most Christians, as I am smarter, better educated, and less hypocritical..

Atheists are nicer to Christians compared to the other way around if their religious identity is ...

snytiger6 comments on Aug 23, 2022:

I didn't need a study to learn that. Although it is nice to have my opinions confirmed as fact.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

Most honest, thinking, intelligent people don't need a formal study to be able to figure out how things are, but studies are needed for those views to be validated and accepted by society in general, as well as those that don't want to believe or see the truth, or are too dense to see the truth.

I'll start, sliderule.

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Common courtesy.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

@Julie808 Esp. the millenials. They have no respect for anybody else, esp. people outside their age group. If you confront them about it, they will get very defiant, like the two year olds they are emotionally..

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

MsHoliday comments on Aug 22, 2022:

It is probably the one picture they have of themselves that a buddy took. A proud moment for many it seems. I believe in live and let live. So I would pass them by.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Well, thanks, I appreciate the compliment, but as far as normal, I dunno. I tried being that once, it didn't work... The couple of younger married gals I hang with at karaoke say that they think I'm actually pretty cool and a hipster, but I just don't look or dress the part. No tats, piercings, or hipster clothes, just very straight looking. But most of what I sing there, like them, is alternative rock. Those women say I need to dress and look the part if I ever want to date a woman with my taste in music and my personality, or they will reject me for looking too straight. Maybe they're right. But I guess I've always been too non-conformist to go along with wearing some kind of cultural uniform and dressing the part to identify with a subculture. My personality should be enough, at least in my eyes...

Come and get it y’all! I put the “hot” in psychotic.

Garban comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Holy crap on a cracker.🥴 It’s my sister in law.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

That's Jesus H. Christ on a cracker to you!

It is time to end the segregation, eliminate all private schools.

p-nullifidian comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Finland also has a progressive, means-based penalty system for traffic violations. A very wealthy person could be fined $20,000 for speeding, whereas a minimum wage earner might be fined the minimum amount of several hundred dollars.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

That's how it is in a lot of Europe. Unless the fines are severe enough be meaningful and actually punitive to the rich, there is no point in them, regarding the rich. Everything needs to be progressive in a society for it to be truly fair or equal..

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

MsHoliday comments on Aug 22, 2022:

It is probably the one picture they have of themselves that a buddy took. A proud moment for many it seems. I believe in live and let live. So I would pass them by.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

@MsHoliday Thanks, otherwise, I would not be able to come up with any decent dating profile pics. My friends are my everything, including being my real family, as far as nowadays.

‘Forget about your worries or dying’ As Christianity rapidly declines, these religions are ...

racocn8 comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Too bad. Non-believers should push harder for education, the antidote to religion's poison.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 23, 2022:

True, the theocrats are already doing their best to destroy public education, along with the greedy rich, who want to profit off it by privatizing it and making it so that all future schools are either for profit and available only to the rich, religious, or both....

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

MsHoliday comments on Aug 22, 2022:

It is probably the one picture they have of themselves that a buddy took. A proud moment for many it seems. I believe in live and let live. So I would pass them by.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

All of my several profile photos were taken by one friend of mine, and then the rest by another friend. I don't own a smartphone and have no interest in taking selfies. So would my profile photos be acceptable proof that I was ok socially, to you, and not deserving of being passed up for reasons of the circumstances my photos were taken under? They are in a bar, outside a home, and inside a home. The home ones were at a friend's house who was the photographer.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Garban comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Fishing is time spent with nature relaxing, and is not exclusively a male activity, my granddaughter loves fishing. It can be also be a fun group activity. 100 years ago, before everyone got their groceries under cellophane, fishing provided a healthy protein source and some recreation. The idea of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Back at ya. Glad you have a sense of humor, as do I about my own age.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Garban comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Fishing is time spent with nature relaxing, and is not exclusively a male activity, my granddaughter loves fishing. It can be also be a fun group activity. 100 years ago, before everyone got their groceries under cellophane, fishing provided a healthy protein source and some recreation. The idea of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 I suppose, but that one was actually before my time and I never watched it. Remember, you're much older than me....

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

FvckY0u comments on Aug 22, 2022:

I'll attempt to answer. Maybe it's one of the few pictures they actually have of them smiling. Perhaps catching and holding a dead fish is a simple value they hold that evokes a happy emotional response. Goes much to the previous comment by @AnneWimsey What does it mean beyond that? Well it...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@FvckY0u, @TheoryNumber3 He wasn't calling you personally emotionally damaged, but I agree with his point, as did you above, that most of the public are emotionally damaged, as well as not as smart as you, I, him, and most of us here, which explains a lot about how sick our society is and how fucked up our politics are, but that's another discussion or two.... I also have no doubt that research studies have been done about emotional damaged people and their prevalence on dating sites, as I can easily see how those could be done by taking the dating site's population, with the permission of the site and its members, and then surveying them, like I discussed elsewhere here, except in this case, they would have access to the whole population there.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

FvckY0u comments on Aug 22, 2022:

I'll attempt to answer. Maybe it's one of the few pictures they actually have of them smiling. Perhaps catching and holding a dead fish is a simple value they hold that evokes a happy emotional response. Goes much to the previous comment by @AnneWimsey What does it mean beyond that? Well it...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3, @FvckY0u I mostly agree with you on this comment of yours. If I had my way, everyone who wanted to join a dating site would have to provide proof of recent therapy, because the vast majority of us, including me, need it! And I agree that I'm Ok, You're Ok, is the way to proceed with relationships, but only after some trust and mutual knowledge has been obtained between people. Until then, esp. in the dating realm, proceed cautiously and beware. That doesn't mean assume only the worst about someone from the git go, like Gwendolyn2018, who blocked me, seemed to obviously default to, but just what I said in the previous sentence, be cautious, proceed carefully, evaluate and verify if possible what is true about them, and give trust over time as it is earned.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

FvckY0u comments on Aug 22, 2022:

I'll attempt to answer. Maybe it's one of the few pictures they actually have of them smiling. Perhaps catching and holding a dead fish is a simple value they hold that evokes a happy emotional response. Goes much to the previous comment by @AnneWimsey What does it mean beyond that? Well it...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 I see both your point and that of FU. I have been on Match actively for over three years now, and can only speak from my experience and those of women on Match that have shared with me about theirs, after mutual trust was established and they chose to confide in me, usually after it was already clear we weren't a match, so a relationship was off the table and we continued contact as friends, comparing notes on the dating game. So yes, there are at least a lot of damaged people on dating sites. Are they the majority of those on there? I'm not sure either way about that, and I have no way of knowing, and neither does anybody else, unless they were able to connect and engage enough with everyone on the site at a given time that were in there dating pool, as far as age range and distance away. And even these women I connected with are a limited subsection of the dating pool in my area and age range, as I had already self-selected to only reach out to the ones that seemed compatible, a small slice of the hundreds of women in my area and age range for my local dating pool there. And, considering I have a response rate of only about ten to fifteen % of the women I message, I make contact with such a small % of the dating pool on there for my local area and age range, that at best all I could do is look at every profile in that dating pool, speculate from there, and then make a determination on only that about what the whole dating pool that I'm part of, is like. Talk about making conclusions on limited data! I may as well be using astrology or a Ouji board...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

MsHoliday comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Maybe these men want us to think they’d be a good provider?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

Seriously, you have a good point. If the man is a very traditional, conservative type who scoffs at feminism, and longs for the old frontier days or whatever and is seeking an outdoorsy, back to the earth woman who wants to live like a backwoods prepper or pioneer couple, that could well be the message he's trying to send, even if it's mostly at the unconscious level... I have no doubt, seriously, that these people exist and are out there on the dating sites, tho I would expect most of them prefer Farmers Only, or something more specialized like that.... But if he is more modern minded and lives in a more urban than rural area, then most likely he is simply sending a message of this being his favorite activity, rather than even a completely unconscious message of being a good provider for a woman in some primal sort of instinctive programming. As Freud once said, " Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" and things do not have an underlying, unconscious meaning....

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Garban comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Fishing is time spent with nature relaxing, and is not exclusively a male activity, my granddaughter loves fishing. It can be also be a fun group activity. 100 years ago, before everyone got their groceries under cellophane, fishing provided a healthy protein source and some recreation. The idea of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@Garban Sounds like fodder for a sitcom....

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

MsHoliday comments on Aug 22, 2022:

It is probably the one picture they have of themselves that a buddy took. A proud moment for many it seems. I believe in live and let live. So I would pass them by.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@JGal I totally agree. I would say the majority of women's profiles don't put much thought into their profile essays, as in fact, about half the profiles in my dating pool that I see don't even have an essay anymore. So it doesn't surprise me that on the men's side, they simply put a couple photos on there without much thought, because the conventional wisdom among many guys, if not most, with online dating, esp. the less educated or intelligent ones, is that women only care about looks and money, so all they need is a photo or two that shows off their face and body, and all is set. Besides also appearing to have enough money based on how their home, clothes, and toys look, like their car, truck or boat. Which is why many men include photos of those as well to impress women. I will say that most women's profiles I see do seem to have put some thought into their photos, with the exception of being clueless about putting photos of their kids on the internet and the risks of that.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 But, as I said elsewhere in this thread, not all or even most women are like you, at least not in my local dating pool on Match. The vast majority of women in mine, like to fish, grew up in rural areas, want a rugged outdoorsman type of guy so, even in your area that covers your local online dating pool, there could be way more women than you think that want a guy like that, instead of someone like me, and that there could be not as many women like you as you think in that dating pool. You'll never know, and neither do I, to some degree in my case, because you don't have much data or awareness of your competition for that dating pool.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

anglophone comments on Aug 22, 2022:

P.S. At the risk of appearing (and being) perverse, I would like to turn your question on its head. What sort of picture, if any, might make you want to have a quick glance at a man's profile?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 It goes both ways, as Sticks48 says, I can't count the number of women's profiles where I see only photos showing no teeth or smiles and the woman is always frowning or scowling close-mouthed. I showed my female karaoke friends some women's profiles once on my laptop at the karaoke show, and they called that look "Resting Bitch Face" and advised me to steer clear of any women with that look in all their photos... I also take a hard pass on women whose photos are all of them holding a drink or whose photos show a very hard, lined-looking face, as those women are probably either very heavy drinkers, alcoholics, or long-time drug abusers. I'm also turned off by photos of women with very wrinkled or over-baked skin from too many years in the sun without sunblock or over-tanning... Of course, it could always be that either sex is not smiling in photos because of bad or missing teeth, but that is also a dealbreaker for me most of the time.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

racocn8 comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Know thyself. Why did the pictures of dead fish catch your attention? If they offend your sensibilities, what are those sensibilities? I agree with the comments below that: 1) It's a picture that they have of themselves smiling. It's good that they don't have a lot of pictures (low hubris, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 I know, I get the same daily set of Recommended Picks that are laughable, and clearly their "matching" system is either full of holes or just a hollow joke, because those picks commonly include women who are conservatives, very family-oriented who would never date a man without kids, smokers, country music lovers, very religious women, and regular drinkers who also clearly would be unlikely to date a man who doesn't drink, like me. I won't even go into all the women in the matched picks that are on the lower or bottom end of the scale when it comes to looks. So yeah, the dating sites send us profiles all the time of duds that we would never look once at, much less twice, if we were browsing profiles on our own, and would instead never even click on in the first place.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Betty comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Whether they are into hunting/fishing, sports cars, active in or fans of sports, or whatever. Is it not information that can be used depending on your own interests? In the end is the choice not yours as to whether you engage or not?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

I agree wholeheartedly, Betty. Online dating is a delicate balance between sharing too much info too early in a profile or messaging, while at the same time giving others a fair and accurate view of who you are and what interests you. Personally, I prefer as much info as possible in someone's profile, esp. since I'm a man and the way the game works where I live, the men are almost always obligated to make the first move and send the first message. So I appreciate women having lots of useful, meaningful info in their profiles so I don't waste my time, effort, and hopes on the incompatible. And I would think that most women feel the same way, since in my dating pool any woman who is average or better than that in looks, gets bombarded by messages from lots of different men right after they join, so they appreciate as much info as possible in the men's profiles so they can efficiently and effectively sort out the incompatibles. And even then, I have no doubt it's still very time consuming to sort thru a few or even several dozen men that message them soon after the woman joins a dating site. Add to that the time spent messaging and then meeting several or more men in person before locking down and choosing their final one or three to see again and try out dating with, and we're talking a pretty big investment of time and effort, so I'm not surprised that many women just get overwhelmed with it early on, esp. if they get fooled or disappointed by some of the men in the sorting process or the early dating process with men they meet, so they just give up and drop out of the dating game. And rather than being quick to judge someone harshly or negatively for giving a bit too much info too early, I am more inclined to give them a break and the benefit of the doubt, since to me, info in the dating process is actually sort of a gift in most cases and is mainly empowering and helpful for us in making better choices of who to date, so I am usually grateful for those who are more candid early on, rather than judging them negatively and penalizing them. They are usually just trying to be helpful and respectful of both yours and their feelings and time.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

Garban comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Fishing is time spent with nature relaxing, and is not exclusively a male activity, my granddaughter loves fishing. It can be also be a fun group activity. 100 years ago, before everyone got their groceries under cellophane, fishing provided a healthy protein source and some recreation. The idea of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@Betty You make a good point, and for me karaoke is like that. I'm a very good singer and love singing, so a photo of me singing is probably me at my happiest, at least for with my clothes on and not with a partner, lol!

Republican Candidates Panicking as Millions Missing from GOP Senate Campaign Coffers Republican ...

glennlab comments on Aug 22, 2022:

He's a true republican, if they won't give it to you steal it from them.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

Yup, in that way, if not others, they are no different than drug kingpins. It's all about the Benjamins, no matter how you get it...

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

racocn8 comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Know thyself. Why did the pictures of dead fish catch your attention? If they offend your sensibilities, what are those sensibilities? I agree with the comments below that: 1) It's a picture that they have of themselves smiling. It's good that they don't have a lot of pictures (low hubris, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

@racocn8 True, I would agree with that, I just think rural and lower income folk are more likely to fish more often than urban folk, esp. urban folk who are higher economic classes, as they can afford to take more expensive vacations to places further away, stay at more expensive hotels, rather than vacationing by car and camping, etc.. I haven't fished since I was in my teens, and even then, I only went because my fellow boy pals wanted to go, so I went along with them. Fishing and hunting locally is a hell of a lot cheaper than vacationing in Europe, going to the Bahamas for beaches, or a ski trip to Aspen, so hunting and fishing is generally more of a recreation for the lower income classes, and definitely more popular among them than the upper classes.

Ok... maybe the guys can answer this. What's the deal with the dead fish?

racocn8 comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Know thyself. Why did the pictures of dead fish catch your attention? If they offend your sensibilities, what are those sensibilities? I agree with the comments below that: 1) It's a picture that they have of themselves smiling. It's good that they don't have a lot of pictures (low hubris, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 22, 2022:

My guess is that men with pics of hunting and fishing are probably not the majority of profiles for the Chicago area, unless the OP is using a pretty wide net for her dating pool that includes some rural areas outside the suburbs of Chicago... Feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken here, OP.