It would be funny if it weren't so goddamn serious. And cynical. And mendacious. And pathetic.

KKGator comments on Jun 6, 2022:

I cannot find anything they do remotely amusing. I fucking hate those assholes.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 6, 2022:

I do too. I wish death for them, as long as I'm not the one killing them and going to prison for it. They really are traitors who are destroying our country, so in my mind, they deserve whatever bad may happen to them, since no punishment will come to them under the political or criminal system...

It would be funny if it weren't so goddamn serious. And cynical. And mendacious. And pathetic.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 6, 2022:

That's really not exaggerated much from the Repub distractions from their cowardice on gun control. The line between satire and reality is often very thin...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 6, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir I didn't know they were, seriously, guys like Colbert?

Link between religious fundamentalism and brain damage established by scientists [rawstory.com]

LucyLoohoo comments on Jun 5, 2022:

No doubt about it! There must be a reason that so many of us cling to conspiracy therosies/fundamentalist myths, etc! We do have a logical primate brain, after all!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 6, 2022:

And conservatives seem to have only the reptile brain! No wonder they are cold-blooded, slimy creatures...

Yes. How come???

StoicsFuckBest comments on Jun 5, 2022:

Because you're not going to be able to stop men's inability to control their emotions with legislation, but you may be able to reduce the ease in which they are capable of acting on it.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 6, 2022:

Reduce both the ease of acting on it and also the severity of how much damage they can do when they act on it. It's pretty hard to kill a dozen people with a knife in a attack during a short time, for example. It's very much the same argument as those for civil rights laws and hate crime laws. You cannot legislate away prejudice or hate, but you can criminalize the actions of those who hate or act with prejudice, with enough force or punishment to deter them from acting in those ways. But only if the laws end up being consistently enforced and followed up with serious sentences. Of course, many or most mass killers do not act rationally and are not concerned about legal penalties because they kill themselves before being captured or have no desire to survive their attack, they only care about killing as many as they can, many desire to commit suicide by cop...

💜💜💜 A Democrat FINALLY showed up!!! [youtu.be]

Garban comments on Jun 5, 2022:

Stalwell’s rage, conviction, and arguments are compelling and justified. But with the filibuster in place only 41 senators in the pockets of the NRA can hold the nation at literal gun point. The filibuster must go before any progress can be made in my opinion.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 6, 2022:

@glennlab I would rather just see the Senate abolished. It's too much like the British House Of Lords, a chamber designed to protect the rich and the oligarchs.

I have rarely ever commented on social media, but Republicans are burning my ass right now and I ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 6, 2022:

Unfortunately, I'm afraid that nowadays rational, sane gun owners like you are far outnumbered in the NRA and the Repub Party, so your voice would be drowned out when it comes to policy decisions by either group.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 6, 2022:

@GreenAtheist Not surprising. Toby Keith says he is actually more of a Democratic politically than a Repub, but he's also a capitalist, so he writes songs to please his redneck fans who are pro war and nationalist, as well as racist. All of which confirms my opinion of him as an asshole who only cares about being rich, famous, and popular, rather than having any real ethics or principles guiding him, besides being successful in his career.

Former GOP congressman: Jan. 6 was an "attempted coup" by Trump

Garban comments on Jun 6, 2022:

Brilliant, it only took him 17 months to realize this, or to grow the balls to call it what it is?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 6, 2022:

The turncoat Repubs always tell the truth or grow a conscience long after it's too late for it to make a difference, usually only after they write a tell all book for money, or parlay it into a commentator job on MSNBC..

I have rarely ever commented on social media, but Republicans are burning my ass right now and I ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 6, 2022:

Unfortunately, I'm afraid that nowadays rational, sane gun owners like you are far outnumbered in the NRA and the Repub Party, so your voice would be drowned out when it comes to policy decisions by either group.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 6, 2022:

@GreenAtheist I'm amazed he got Lee Greenwood to boycott the NRA convention. I have always particularly hated Greenwood's God Bless The USA, which I call the redneck national anthem, and loathe the way that song is worshipped by the rednecks and country music fans around where I live. Same thing with that tall tub of shit, Toby Keith, and all his redneck nationalist warmonger songs.

I find myself wondering how a suicide or self murder as it is called in Scotland of a prominent ...

Gwendolyn2018 comments on Jun 5, 2022:

Maybe the explanation will be that she "lost her way," and listened to Satan.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 5, 2022:

That wouldn't surprise me. I can just hear the SNL Church Lady saying it was " Satan!", that was behind all of it...

Let's imagine Pete.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 5, 2022:

My answer is that Pete is probably not actively racist in how he treats people, but he is also part of the problem by remaining oblivious and not caring to become part of any solution. When it comes to power and privilege, neutrality IS taking a side against oppressed minorities, because it is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 5, 2022:

@Matias Spoken like a true Libertarian or conservative.. Your sane selfishness is at the root of our sick society and its problems. Individualism to the extreme is also at the root of our problems..

I posted something of a personal nature and it's taken down.

Mooolah comments on Jun 4, 2022:

SpikeTalon has me blocked. So why am I seeing his posts? This is a 1st time I am seeing his posts.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 5, 2022:

@skado Or to General Forum, for that matter. In either of them, I get to see all the members that I have already blocked or have blocked me. Sort of like a reunion in hell, I suppose... Speaking of that, hi Anne....

Arizona GOP Gubernatorial Candidate Proposes Different Tiers for US Citizenship Kari Lake, the ...

puff comments on Jun 4, 2022:

Different types of citizens hey, seemed to be plenty of support for that regarding vaccinated Vs un-vaccinated. I think both ideas are discriminatory, but at least I'm consistent. :D

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 5, 2022:

I was not in favor of differing citizenship based on vaccination status, but I do support not letting unvaxed people participate in social activities or transportation that would give them the chance to infect innocent people and endanger their health. Those who refused to vax need to respect that their choice does have its consequences and may prevent them from fully participating in some social parts of society. And if they don't like it, they can always stay home or get vaxed... This Repub candidate is about preventing people from full citizenship simply because they don't agree with her, not because they are putting themselves selfishly above the health and welfare of others. Big difference.

Let's imagine Pete.

Scott321 comments on Jun 4, 2022:

Oblivious maybe. Hey I get it. I thought racism had receded after Obama was elected and projected my own assumptions and preferences upon others. I was so very wrong. Racism went covert for a while but has gone much more overt. The birth certificate thing was front and center as the right ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 5, 2022:

You see the truth and also say it so clearly... And I promise you the next prez, which won't be Biden, will probably be worse than Trump or Biden. I'm hoping it's not Trump.

Senior Trump Administration advisor Peter Navarro first defied a congressional subpoena to testify ...

Garban comments on Jun 4, 2022:

He went on Ari Melber show 3 times and confessed. What an idiot.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 5, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir I doubt it. He'll take the Fifth..

Does anyone believes in life after death or has ever been to the after life and still lives today?

Garban comments on Jun 4, 2022:

Of course. They’re called zombies, and the run they GOP.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 4, 2022:

Don't forget the Covid zombies!

Does anyone believes in life after death or has ever been to the after life and still lives today?

Betty comments on Jun 4, 2022:

They live in our hearts and memories. :) That is the only life after death that can be proven.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 4, 2022:

Agreed. And I also believe that after all the people who remember you are gone, then you are totally gone from the world of the living, for all practical purposes, except, I suppose, for when some building or other societal thing is named after you. In those exceptional ways, I suppose a person lives on even after all those that knew them are dead...

Hippie Chick, who is the moderator of the Trump Pinata group, got into an argument with me a couple ...

Garban comments on Jun 4, 2022:

Is the purpose of your post reconciliation or sympathy?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 4, 2022:

@Garban Well, no doubt. The issue I'm presenting is, did she act unfairly or not? You see, I am a proud socialist, and to me, fairness should be the primary value in a society. So I am asking the community whether they feel I was treated fairly or not. You might or might not be surprised how many other members here feel fairness should be an important thing on this site or not. Just because the world at large is unfair does not, in my mind, provide an excuse for people acting unfairly, otherwise we wouldn't bother with having ethics. You seem to be supporting an attitude of " Everybody does it- as in acting unfairly- so that makes it right or ok". I disagree, what most other people do does not let someone off the hook morally or ethically, as far as I'm concerned. To me, that kind of rationale is a cop out... The world at large, or at least most Americans, seem to think we are untrustworthy or possibly even immoral, because we are non-believers, but you and I know differently. Another example of how just because people are in the majority, it doesn't mean they are always right. Most people don't obey speed limits when they drive. Does that mean those limits shouldn't matter or that we should just quit trying to enforce them? Should they instead just be posted as suggestions? The world will always be an unfair place, overall, but attempting to make it more fair is not a bad thing nor is it something that should just be dismissed as foolish and worthless.

Hippie Chick, who is the moderator of the Trump Pinata group, got into an argument with me a couple ...

Garban comments on Jun 4, 2022:

Is the purpose of your post reconciliation or sympathy?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 4, 2022:

Neither. I'm interested in finding out whether other members think that sort of practice is fair or if it is someone misusing their power, plain and simple. I have no interest in apologizing to her.

Being an Atheist isn't always an easy path to walk, so many people will criticize and attack you for...

Petter comments on Jun 4, 2022:

Take heart from the knowledge that the myth-believing populace of the USA is dwindling more and more rapidly. The country is only about 50 years behind Europe.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 4, 2022:

I'll be long dead before the US catches up with Europe.

Wow.

BitFlipper comments on Jun 3, 2022:

The Q-anon, trumpanzee, Fox-watching crowd believes every word. If human civilization is going to survive, we must eliminate these dumb fucks from the population.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 4, 2022:

I was hoping that Covid would do some of that for us, but it seems most of them still manage to survive, even if they get Covid...

Being an Atheist isn't always an easy path to walk, so many people will criticize and attack you for...

Flyingsaucesir comments on Jun 4, 2022:

What a coincidence! I just heard some interesting commentary on the role of tribalism in the current gun violence crisis. I posted it only a moment ago. 😂

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 4, 2022:

I'm not able to view your post because it is probably in the Trump Pinata group, where Hippie Chick, the moderator, barred me a while back, not for anything I said in there, but because she blocked me personally over an argument somewhere else on Agnostic. How petty to bar me from the whole group just because she is the group's moderator and had trouble with me somewhere else. What about the other members there who might enjoy my comments there? I doubt she consulted any of them, because it's all about her....

Being an Atheist isn't always an easy path to walk, so many people will criticize and attack you for...

Betty comments on Jun 3, 2022:

I feel fortunate, in my town of just over 8,000 we have 11 churches and in the 9 years I've lived here, I have not been harassed or even approached to join any of them. The topic of religion rarely comes up and on the occasion it does it has not been treated as a big deal. It's a nice friendly ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 4, 2022:

Lucky you! I lived in a town even smaller than that and it had even more churches and only two bars, a very bad cultural ratio in my book. Unlike yours, most of the people there were very negatively judgmental towards those who were different or new in town. I think I was somewhat notorious for not attending any church there.

We should definitely acknowledge the failure of the police to stop the carnage, but ultimately that ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 3, 2022:

It is a distraction, but it is also telling. The fact that almost all the victims were Hispanic, instead of white, probably had something to do with why the cops didn't go in for over an hour. Colored lives are considered a lot less valuable than white lives by cops thinking of risking their own ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 3, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir I wonder how that case came out. He deserved to go to prison for it.

We should definitely acknowledge the failure of the police to stop the carnage, but ultimately that ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 3, 2022:

It is a distraction, but it is also telling. The fact that almost all the victims were Hispanic, instead of white, probably had something to do with why the cops didn't go in for over an hour. Colored lives are considered a lot less valuable than white lives by cops thinking of risking their own ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 3, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir That person should not only have been fired, but also prosecuted for some sort of negligence or depraved indifference manslaughter... If you're armed, trained, and not willing to risk your life to protect, then you need to be in another line of work.... I hope the guy was shamed enough to be run out of town...

Five People Dead at Tulsa Medical Center in the 233rd Mass Shooting This Year NPR reports that at...

Betty comments on Jun 2, 2022:

Gun violence and mass shootings are so common now that it has become the norm. I think the whole country would go into shock if it suddenly stopped. Since the elites are not targeted, I doubt anything will change.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 3, 2022:

@Betty That makes perfect sense, as religion is great for social control in softer ways than government is able to do it. And corporations would rather have compliant, obedient workers than have to use harsher tactics like they did in the days of private detectives, etc..

We should definitely acknowledge the failure of the police to stop the carnage, but ultimately that ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 3, 2022:

It is a distraction, but it is also telling. The fact that almost all the victims were Hispanic, instead of white, probably had something to do with why the cops didn't go in for over an hour. Colored lives are considered a lot less valuable than white lives by cops thinking of risking their own ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 3, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir I didn't know that detail, so you're almost certainly right. In that case, the cops stayed out because they were outgunned and didn't want to go on a suicide mission. But even in that case, I ? if maybe then they ought to be in some other line of work, the same as firefighters, who are expected to risk their lives going into burning buildings. The cops were being cowards, in my opinion, and maybe not upholding their duty to protect.

Five People Dead at Tulsa Medical Center in the 233rd Mass Shooting This Year NPR reports that at...

Betty comments on Jun 2, 2022:

Gun violence and mass shootings are so common now that it has become the norm. I think the whole country would go into shock if it suddenly stopped. Since the elites are not targeted, I doubt anything will change.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 3, 2022:

@Betty I agree with everything you're saying except I don't think government by itself is the problem, the problem in the US, unlike most so-called democracies, is that ours is way more corrupted by money from donors, esp.at the federal level, than other countries. If we had either strong campaign finance laws regulating contributions to pols, or better yet, publicly financed campaigns and shortened campaign seasons, plus free air time for all qualified candidates, we would not have federal pols who care only about their donors. If our government was not so bought off, the rich and corporate CEOS would not feel so protected and insulated from what they do to the masses, even with their security details, as they would not be so above the law and having to face consequences for their evil, but they own the pols who work for them, so they fear nothing for the actions because their government, not ours, will never punish or regulate them. As for seeing the cracks, we are becoming like the old Soviet Union, where the majority lost faith in the system and even the military would no longer defend the system. But look what they ended up with instead. I think we are in for an even worse outcome when it all collapses.

Five People Dead at Tulsa Medical Center in the 233rd Mass Shooting This Year NPR reports that at...

Betty comments on Jun 2, 2022:

Gun violence and mass shootings are so common now that it has become the norm. I think the whole country would go into shock if it suddenly stopped. Since the elites are not targeted, I doubt anything will change.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 3, 2022:

Like I have said before, I'm starting to think that targeted assassinations against the rich, corporate CEOs, and some pols might not be a bad idea if we want any real change for the better in our system...because right now they really don't fear or care about the masses. During the 60s, the ruling class had some of that fear, and that's why, for the last time in my lifetime, they made some concessions to improve things for the masses.

Graduation speaker tells students to honor the Bible by avoiding gay marriage

Betty comments on Jun 2, 2022:

It is the downplaying of these kinds of remarks that encourage and embolden others to bully, harass, and indulge in violent acts. To suggest that romantic love is restricted to male/female relationships is belittling and disrespectful. To experience love and have it reciprocated is truly ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 3, 2022:

I'm way more concerned with who people hate, rather than with who people love, esp. when the haters possess automatic weapons...

Graduation speaker tells students to honor the Bible by avoiding gay marriage

Flyingsaucesir comments on Jun 2, 2022:

Jim McGuire is obviously a knuckle-dragging cave man. Who the hell gave him the microphone?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 2, 2022:

That would have been funny as hell, at least to me, if the school officials had cut his mic or kicked him off the stage...

Graduation speaker tells students to honor the Bible by avoiding gay marriage

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jun 2, 2022:

A pure dick move, hijacking a ceremony for religious purposes. When I was in school, we had some such benediction ceremony bullsit on a separate night. I got a note from my parents that I would not be going. It was a public school, and that should have been enough, but I got called into the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 2, 2022:

Where I live, local churches still hold those kind of benediction services, for their student members, around the time of graduation, but at least the public school students are not obligated to attend any of them. The public schools all also cater to the churches by not having any school activities, including sports, on Wed. evening during the school year, in order to not compete with church night activities on Wed., which are common. The only time they have school activities on a Wed. school night are during sports playoffs during the school year.

From our Twisted Priorities Department:

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 2, 2022:

Bullshit culture war issues to distract people from seeing how the Repubs won't do anything about guns, and also about how they only care about the rich and corporations, altho Dems do the same thing with all the identity politics to distract from how they too only care about the rich and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 2, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir It is easier for them, they unite around being rich, white, Christian or Catholic, and hating everyone who is different from them: Immigrants, colored people, non-Christians, and queer people, as well as poor people. That's a pretty small tent and easy to unite.

From our Twisted Priorities Department:

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 2, 2022:

Bullshit culture war issues to distract people from seeing how the Repubs won't do anything about guns, and also about how they only care about the rich and corporations, altho Dems do the same thing with all the identity politics to distract from how they too only care about the rich and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 2, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir True, the Dems are often spectacular failures when it comes to messaging. I think that's because the Repubs have deeper pockets, so they end up hiring the better PR folks, such as Frank Lutz...

I stated 10 years ago that we could have a shooting damn near every day in this god infested ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jun 1, 2022:

I don't blame god for how fucked up our system is, I blame our voters for not waking up long ago and voting out the two major parties for a third party that would be responsive and effective on not only gun control, campaign financing, and economic reform, because it's not like the Soviet Union, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 1, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir The major parties would never allow that. They love having their duopoly and not having to be responsive to anyone but their donors.

I stated 10 years ago that we could have a shooting damn near every day in this god infested ...

Davekp comments on May 31, 2022:

You win. 🫤😢

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 1, 2022:

@Buck And maybe both major parties. Like abortion, they both raise tons of money and rile up their bases over these two issues, but generally don't do anything serious and lasting about either one of them, until now, on abortion, from the Repubs thru the SC.

Looks are not deceiving

davknight comments on May 31, 2022:

What's that stuff in her mouth?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jun 1, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Not only is that true, but she looks uncomfortable enough that it appears she is coping with a mouth full of crap, not sure whether to swallow it, chew it, or spit it out....

Arizona lawmaker Rick Gray: Atheism caused the shooting in Uvalde

JeffreyL comments on May 27, 2022:

Religion is the main cause of abject stupidity!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 31, 2022:

@NostraDumbass I would agree, so much research has at least correlated religiosity inversely with level of education. Also, the states in the US with the levels of average or mean levels of education are also the ones with the highest levels of religiosity. In other words, most people seem to seek and/or end up with a lot more of one than the other...

A really sad group. Sorry they have to be associated with him.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 31, 2022:

Need to remember there are lots of centrist, corporate Dems that are just as spineless, except when it comes to serving their corporate donors.... or supporting tax cuts, or military spending, or unneccessary wars or fascist laws like the Patriot Act or the NDAA...... it goes on and on.......

TomMcGiverin replies on May 31, 2022:

@glennlab True, Glenn, but those Dems sure don't seem willing to risk anything of theirs to defend us peasants who they are no personally connected to....

Has a Christian ever said any of these frustratingly dumb things to you?

puff comments on May 6, 2022:

I say I'm fine with god, it's just all his fuckhead fan's piss me to tears.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 31, 2022:

Agreed, I'm not mad at God, even if one existed, I'm just sick and fed up with the ignorant idiotic followers...

In the United States, market extremism (which one might expect to be purely materialist, and ...

David1955 comments on May 31, 2022:

In other words, toxic American capitalism has merged with toxic individualism and toxic Christian saviourism to form a lethal irrational brew that threatens the existence of the country. I've been projecting this since this rise of Trump.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 31, 2022:

Yup, we now have the most dysfunctional and dangerous society in my lifetime, so yes, civil war seems inevitable...

From our Role Reversal Department:

twill comments on May 31, 2022:

Ron Desantis......Have you MET these parents you are so concerned about?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 31, 2022:

If he met those parents, privately and without his security detail, he might get the shit beat out of him, so I'm guessing the answer is a NO...

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

anglophone comments on May 29, 2022:

"I know how to treat a woman" are the words of a self-confessing sexist with added arrogance. What is so hard about ask first, listen second, and reply if asked third?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 31, 2022:

@Gwendolyn2018 Finished with you too. You simply can never admit that you might be wrong about something and cannot accept someone disagreeing with you. Too bad that anyone who disagrees with you is "the enemy" or stereotypical, in your mind. I hear and listen. You don't seem to do that yourself, unless the other person agrees with you completely. I will not cave and pretend to agree with you just to satisfy your insecurity. It's good that you are no longer on dating sites or trying to date, because you are too hostile and distrusting of men to have any business being involved with either one. Your experiences may justify your feelings about men, but that does not justify your feeling that I or other men need to feel the same amount of distrust towards women or even that other women need to feel your same amount of distrust towards men. You are only you, Gwen, and not everybody, who has had differing experiences, needs to see and feel your way about the world for them to be right or truthful about themselves. " A woman who is too open on a first meeting can be inviting disaster", that may be true, perhaps one in a thousand or less cases, but most of the time nothing bad or unusual happens, and instead, the two people have a good, enjoyable and useful convo, without the woman having to hold everything back, make the man or woman uncomfortable, or anyone having to play your preferred game. Trust and reciprocity, what a concept! Too bad you can't enjoy those things. I would love to see a woman on here have the guts to disagree with you about your points, Gwen, not that it's going to ever happen, but if they did, would you then label them as "stereotypical" or dysfunctional, insincere, etc.? I bet you would....

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

racocn8 comments on May 29, 2022:

People of both sexes can be assholes. The trick is to not let it get to you. Some people WANT to be assholes. It may be harder to let that go, but that is still necessary.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 31, 2022:

@racocn8 Social media, due to its impersonality, certainly does not bring out the best in people.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

racocn8 comments on May 29, 2022:

People of both sexes can be assholes. The trick is to not let it get to you. Some people WANT to be assholes. It may be harder to let that go, but that is still necessary.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

Notice how few people will agree with you openly here? And yet the statement is so evenhanded and should be easy to accept. The acceptance of misandry continues.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

anglophone comments on May 29, 2022:

"I know how to treat a woman" are the words of a self-confessing sexist with added arrogance. What is so hard about ask first, listen second, and reply if asked third?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@Gwendolyn2018 And you also don't need to shout at me in ALL CAPS. I may not be as smart as you, but I'm sure I'm intelligent enough to get your points in regular case letters...

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

anglophone comments on May 29, 2022:

"I know how to treat a woman" are the words of a self-confessing sexist with added arrogance. What is so hard about ask first, listen second, and reply if asked third?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@anglophone I agree, I have never been stalked, and, as a man, I have probably been privileged compared to women by never having been sexually harassed or sexually assaulted. So I have less reason than Gwen to fear for my safety, but I agree, she seems to be somewhat emotionally damaged or traumatized by her experiences, and thus, I feel, is extremely distrustful and self-protective of herself regarding men esp.. I'm not saying it's unjustified or unwise, but I'm not interested in dating women who carry all that baggage and self-protection. My personal opinion is that nobody who has been stalked and is still so traumatized by it that they are extremely distrustful, has any business being on a dating site. Hell, if I had my way, nobody would be allowed on a dating site without proof of recent therapy! But it's a free country and the sites have the right to set their own standards. I must have some trustworthy qualities, as more than a few of the women I have dated in the past have trusted me enough to tell me about having been raped, so I must not be too insensitive or untrustworthy of an asshole male. I probably share some of your qualities, which is why those women shared their experiences with me, as well as some of my female friends.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

anglophone comments on May 29, 2022:

"I know how to treat a woman" are the words of a self-confessing sexist with added arrogance. What is so hard about ask first, listen second, and reply if asked third?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@Gwendolyn2018 So tell me Gwen, exactly how is this supposed to work out if you meet a man for coffee or whatever for the first meeting, and he chooses the same tactic as you, by not asking any ?s of you, or insisting that you do all the talking first off? Do you stare into each other's eyes and attempt telepathy? How comfortable would you be with that? I have a pretty good idea that you would get uncomfortable and just leave. I know that you are not interested in relationships with men anymore or even in dating, so I think your attitude on all this is by now pretty moot and abstract, rather than based on any real, present day reality and actual interest in dating, unlike me. And yes, I have no doubt that no men were put off by your lack of ?s or that they were more interested in your looks than what you said, but I would fit neither of those, and I doubt that I am unique in that respect. As Sticks once said recently on here, it may have had more to do with your choices in who you met, than in any universal traits of men.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

anglophone comments on May 29, 2022:

"I know how to treat a woman" are the words of a self-confessing sexist with added arrogance. What is so hard about ask first, listen second, and reply if asked third?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@Gwendolyn2018 Sorry Gwen, but I don't agree. You and I are different genders and have had different experiences. Both of ours are valid, as far as I'm concerned. Sitting back and being guarded, while not asking any ?s is a power game, plain and simple. It was back in the job interviews and it still is in the dating game. If a woman chooses to simply put all of the pressure and burden on me to share who I am and be judged on that, while taking no risks to reveal who she really is, or at least give me some feedback and reciprocation of my trust and openness with her, then maybe she is too damaged and distrustful for me to date. That is how I see it. You seem to treat dating as some kind of war in which the man is untrustworthy or unworthy of you until proven otherwise. I choose to operate more as an equal and a likely friend to the woman until proven otherwise or incompatible. If a woman chooses to be emotionally guarded the whole time they are meeting with me for coffee the first time, as you seem to say you would be, then she would not be for me. I want someone who is trusting enough to give me some unguarded communication in return to what I am giving them. You seem to be saying that the man does not deserve any reciprocation from you on that score, until maybe later on, if at all, you deem him worthy. Says who, you? Why do you get to be guarded all the time in the first meeting and the man is obligated to reveal himself and be so judged by you and you are not obligated to return the favor at all and be judged on any of that yourself? Isn't that a bit sexist?

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

anglophone comments on May 29, 2022:

"I know how to treat a woman" are the words of a self-confessing sexist with added arrogance. What is so hard about ask first, listen second, and reply if asked third?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@Gwendolyn2018 I don't doubt the veracity and accuracy of your observations Gwen. At the same time, I am wary and, to be honest, turned off by people who choose to be very closely emotionally guarded and closed in their communication with me early on, and especially after they have spent some time with me. Probably, like you, they are being cautious and self-protective for good reason based on their previous experience. Or maybe, as Sticks might say, they have something to hide about who they are emotionally and regarding their character or personality. But I have nothing to hide and I prefer to date people who are emotionally whole, healthy and able to trust that they feel no reason to have such big protections around them, rather than playing power games or being the grand analyst. And I also prefer someone with enough generosity and empathy to treat me kindly and as an equal from the start of the dance, rather than sitting back playing the grand inquisitor and holding back on letting their guard down until they deem me being worthy of being candid and emotionally open with me. They may have very good reasons, like you, for operating like they do with the opposite sex in the dating game, esp. early on, but to me, that is too much drama and spycraft for my taste. I prefer a process more like a presumptive "I'm Ok, you're Ok" basis for communicating, rather than yours, which is based on so much distrust and testing. Some people are ready for and willing to do that ( my preference), some aren't. I'm not interested in those that aren't, for dating purposes, and you wouldn't be interested in me. I do sense a fair amount of cynicism and general negative feelings about men in general from you, Gwen, and I don't doubt you have good reasons for both of them, but I just don't share that attitude about women, so I don't approach women with all those sort of guards or barriers to hold back from them who I am or everything I'm thinking or feeling about them. If you can't allow or approach people with some trust and openness after deciding you want to meet them and maybe get to know them, why even bother with the exercise, assuming you are actually seeking an ongoing relationship? I think it's sad that you feel the need to let so few people know who you really are, Gwen. I think, despite your attitude towards men in general, that you are quite likeable. But personally, I would be intimidated by you in person, knowing that you were holding so much back while being so judgemental and critical of anything I said, without tipping any of your hand or your inner thoughts.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 30, 2022:

First off, I agree with your attitude. We are all individuals, in each gender. Hard as it is to do, with all the rejection and disappointment that teaches us in the dating game to be wary of red flags and negative patterns in dating and messaging behavior with online dating, we still need to ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 You're very sweet. If you lived in my area and were younger, I would surely want to meet you.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 30, 2022:

First off, I agree with your attitude. We are all individuals, in each gender. Hard as it is to do, with all the rejection and disappointment that teaches us in the dating game to be wary of red flags and negative patterns in dating and messaging behavior with online dating, we still need to ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 It's Tom not Tim, lol! And no, I didn't take it that you were implying that about me. But you do have a point, that many men who are widowed are looking for that. And unfortunately, I have run across a lot of divorced women on Match in my local dating pool who will not give widowed men a chance because they wrongly assume that all widowed men are either not over their dead wives, looking for a duplicate of their dead wife, (and the divorced women think they would be competing against the dead wife, etc.), etc. All of that is wrong-headed and narrow-minded, but I can't do anything about it. And right now, I am too young for most of the widowed women in my local dating pool. In another five or ten years, I might be old enough for most of the widowed women in my area, but I don't want to wait that long or be alone until I die, which may be sooner than I expect. Only about 15% of the women my age in the local Match dating pool are widowed, so I am pretty much forced to pursue divorced women, since they make up 80% of the dating pool, and many of them won't date widowed men, for the reasons above, as well as my guess is that they want to just stick with the familiar of fellow divorced folks, which is really pretty irrational and foolish, when you think about relationship track records, but they seem to care more about similarity and maybe also finding sympathy and understanding about their hurts from divorce than finding a more healthy partner. I wish you the best luck too.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

anglophone comments on May 29, 2022:

"I know how to treat a woman" are the words of a self-confessing sexist with added arrogance. What is so hard about ask first, listen second, and reply if asked third?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@anglophone True. I like Gwen, and I know that she is more of just a happy contrarian troublemaker than a mean-spirited person, I agree with you. I have no interest in playing mind games or power games with someone in the dating game, much less later in a committed relationship. I try to keep in mind that Gwen has long had no interest in any relationships with men. I find that if one is interested in finding real relationships and a committed partner, playing power games early on is not a good or constructive idea. If one is only interested in amusing or entertaining themselves, while also being cold and insensitive to the other person, I suppose it's their choice and their business, but I personally would resent them for doing it to me, since my only sin would be sincere interest in them until I discovered their attitude.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 30, 2022:

First off, I agree with your attitude. We are all individuals, in each gender. Hard as it is to do, with all the rejection and disappointment that teaches us in the dating game to be wary of red flags and negative patterns in dating and messaging behavior with online dating, we still need to ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Thanks, and in no way am I looking for a duplicate of her or even a replay of my marriage to her. I just want someone who gets and appreciates me like she did and that I did her. But she grew up in NY and was so different than the vast majority of women in my local dating pool. So it would almost be like lightning striking twice. My best bet would be another woman who is a transplant to Iowa like she was. But my experience with online dating shows that those women usually don't want me, because, unlike her, they are much more materialistic than me and only want guys with lots of money, docs and lawyers, or other high status type careers, because living on either coast is more expensive than here and they are used to being with men in that league rather than me, even tho I seem to have as much money as these women, they also want a man with the status of their former partners.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

BitFlipper comments on May 29, 2022:

Both men and women have our ways of sending coded messages. "I know how to treat a woman" means he's willing to spend money. When women say "I love sailing" they're looking for a guy with money. I limit my statements of requirements to honest and real things. Don't follow my lead, it doesn't ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

You're quite right, Dave. I hate the use of code words and I won't do it. But here in the Midwest, esp., it no doubt counts or works against me. I so wish I could meet a woman who, like me, rejects them and isn't turned off or scared away by someone not using them.

Sorry, I'm on a tear this morning.

anglophone comments on May 29, 2022:

"I know how to treat a woman" are the words of a self-confessing sexist with added arrogance. What is so hard about ask first, listen second, and reply if asked third?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@Gwendolyn2018 I see your point Gwen, but I think there are probably some guys that are not assholes and honestly do want to know what you are thinking about them and would appreciate the woman asking them some ?s in case they forgot to bring some things up. Not all encounters of the sexes need to be treated as some hostile game of mental chess. Frankly, I would be uncomfortable and turned off by someone playing coy the whole time and not giving me any clues about where I stand with them or what they thought of my things said to them. It would remind me way too much of the many job interviews in my life where the employer held all the cards and sat back playing mind games with me the whole time. I am so glad to be retired and out of that and frankly, a woman choosing to act that same way with me in a first date/meeting would really turn me off as them playing a rather selfish power game with me.

I was communicating with a guy from a dating site.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 28, 2022:

As Bugs Bunny used to say, "What a maroon...". Now you've got me curious what his unusual username was.... As for the ? about his work before retiring, I get asked that ? most of the time by women on Match, since I don't list anything about that in my profile. Some of the women, like you, are asking...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 30, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Me too. I recently encountered one on Match, reported them, and then got an e-mail from Match that their membership was terminated for fraudulent activity.

How DISGUSTING! And out there right now, is some girl saying, "Yes! Oh course I'll go with ...

silverotter11 comments on May 28, 2022:

I heard about this, not going to watch the video. The white racists in this society have really come out of the woodwork since trump became the media fix starting in 2016.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 29, 2022:

Yup, they are proud, arrogant and defiant about their racism, which is why I like to confront them, when I can do it safely, and point out that not everyone agrees with them in my town, even if they are the vast majority here. I can't stand to let them think everyone agrees with them or is too scared to call them out on their racism.

How DISGUSTING! And out there right now, is some girl saying, "Yes! Oh course I'll go with ...

mcgeo52 comments on May 28, 2022:

Why am I not surprised it happened at Laguna Niguel? The spirit of John Birch lives in OC.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

Well-heeled white racists have been around forever, they never left places like OC..

Amid all the carnage and tears at home, let's not take our eyes off the unfolding atrocities in ...

dkp93 comments on May 28, 2022:

Damn, I had to check Google because I thought he was long dead. Just hush, enjoy your bingo and pudding, and be glad you aren't in prison. We will take it from here.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

Nope, only the good die young, pricks and bitches seem to live forever... If hell existed, then no doubt his colleague and former boss Nixon would be there waiting for him....

I was communicating with a guy from a dating site.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 28, 2022:

As Bugs Bunny used to say, "What a maroon...". Now you've got me curious what his unusual username was.... As for the ? about his work before retiring, I get asked that ? most of the time by women on Match, since I don't list anything about that in my profile. Some of the women, like you, are asking...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Yeah, some of the worst offenders are the ones who boast about their honesty or how they are not game players. In online dating, I am always wary of women who protest or say more than a little about how they hate game players, or about how honest they are, etc. If you really are those things, you only need to mention it once and mildly. It's like they are either projecting their own bad qualities onto others, while denying it about themselves.. You nailed him on his own fakeness...

I was communicating with a guy from a dating site.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 28, 2022:

Sounds like the guy is more than a bit thin-skinned and defensive, all red flags... I don't mind or resent the ?s at all, and am glad to give an honest answer, since anything else is not only unethical to me, but will not change the outcome later of the woman rejecting me for being deceitful. My ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 I would, but I can't. I blocked him a while ago, so you will have to share it with me in a PM.

The refusal of the NRA to acknowledge its part in the mass murder of children in the U$A merely ...

linxminx comments on May 28, 2022:

"...greedy, ignorant, self-serving assholes." That pretty much describes corporate America.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

@jlynn37 I have to take issue with that. I don't think certainly that all Americans fit that, but their leaders certainly do. I think the majority of Americans just don't possess the ability to think critically and so they are easily manipulated, as well as the fact that many Americans who do possess those skills have become so demoralized they have simply given up on voting or trying to change the system. But by no means are that last group like the leaders we have in America serving in DC.

If we don't grapple with our bloody past, our future will look just like our bloody present.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 25, 2022:

I have little doubt things will only get worse during the rest of my life, unless the masses wake up and start voting third party in fed elections to get us out of the corruption of the duopoly. And even then, if by some miracle, the majority of eligible voters did that, and managed to elect an ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 28, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir Culture war issues are very effective,, esp. in largely rural states like Iowa, where the vast majority of voters are not well educated or, to be bluntly honest, that intelligent. So if the voters see little difference between the parties on economic issues, because frankly they are not that different, then they will vote according to how they feel about the culture war issues. It has been proven time and again that when someone on the Dem side like Bernie Sanders presents a left wing populist economic message, it has great appeal to most voters, even many of those who voted for Trump in the last two elections. But the Dem leaders would rather lose than pick up those voters as well as independent voters, by allowing a progressive to get the nomination. Many working class Trump voters could be won over with a candidate and message like Bernie, but the DNC would never allow that to happen.

Jan. 6 panel told Trump indicated support for hanging Mike Pence - The Washington Post

rainmanjr comments on May 26, 2022:

For the record I’m in favor of hanging all three.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 27, 2022:

@rainmanjr Nah, I don't see any of those as being realistically feasible, and shame is beyond their capacity, so I still favor Plan A... Fear is one thing they do understand and respond to...

Jan. 6 panel told Trump indicated support for hanging Mike Pence - The Washington Post

rainmanjr comments on May 26, 2022:

For the record I’m in favor of hanging all three.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 27, 2022:

@rainmanjr For a long time, I've been in favor of targeted assassinations of our rich oligarchs, but it would be next to impossible to get to them.

The next U.S. abortion battle is over pills, and it's already begun | Reuters

Mooolah comments on May 26, 2022:

And the anti choice groups hope to pursue access to donor lists of Pro-Choice donors. As with Howard Stern, Texas might tissue an arrest warrant for me.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 27, 2022:

They can issue all they want, they aren't going to be able to extradite you for it and I doubt you will be voluntarily visiting that shithole state anyway...

Jan. 6 panel told Trump indicated support for hanging Mike Pence - The Washington Post

rainmanjr comments on May 26, 2022:

For the record I’m in favor of hanging all three.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 27, 2022:

The deaths of all three would not cause any harm to our politics, except for the inevitable martyrdom and conspiracy theories that would grow out of it.

It is so evident, Beto and most Americans are furious over the killing of people, while the the ...

OldMetalHead comments on May 26, 2022:

I love how they're harping on how inappropriate it is to bring up "politics" in the midst of a tragedy that they themselves are unwilling to prevent.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 27, 2022:

@OldMetalHead Willfully tone deaf...

It is so evident, Beto and most Americans are furious over the killing of people, while the the ...

OldMetalHead comments on May 26, 2022:

I love how they're harping on how inappropriate it is to bring up "politics" in the midst of a tragedy that they themselves are unwilling to prevent.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

And how was that whole Repub gathering not a political event?

PSA - SNL - YouTube

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on May 26, 2022:

Not available.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

It worked fine for me, maybe it's because you live in Canada.

It is so evident, Beto and most Americans are furious over the killing of people, while the the ...

AnonySchmoose comments on May 26, 2022:

I agree with Beto and Cohen that mass shootings and guns are political, mass shootings are preventable with strict gun regulation. With dignified behavior, Beto was the only one audible in there who is a patriot, believes the reasons for a constitution, for a redress of grievances, for freedom of ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

Well, you know how it is, when you're a Repub, you're automatically above and exempt from feeling shame, hypocrisy, or apology for anything. Conservatives and Repubs see those things as strictly for losers, liberals, and other suckers that still believe in honesty, fairness, and caring about your fellow human. To them, it's all about themselves and their family, no loyalty or compassion for anyone else.

It is so evident, Beto and most Americans are furious over the killing of people, while the the ...

WilliamCharles comments on May 26, 2022:

It reminded me of the end scene in The Graduate when everyone was cussing out Dustin Hoffman's character. "You son-of-a-bitch!!"

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

Yes, the righteous hypocrites turn very nasty once they are confronted...

Nothing can be done to prevent school shootings, but somehow this is the only country that has such ...

NostraDumbass comments on May 25, 2022:

I’m in the middle of a conversation with a gun lover named Spike Talon. From his perspective, the real problem is mental health. Solve that problem (which actually exists everywhere) and you will solve the gun violence problem. Another problem is the existence of “No Weapons Zones”, which ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

@OldMetalHead Yup.

If we don't grapple with our bloody past, our future will look just like our bloody present.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 25, 2022:

I have little doubt things will only get worse during the rest of my life, unless the masses wake up and start voting third party in fed elections to get us out of the corruption of the duopoly. And even then, if by some miracle, the majority of eligible voters did that, and managed to elect an ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 26, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir I understand your concern about splitting the votes of people on the left, but lesser evil voting and supporting the Dems in federal elections for the last forty years has only led to the party moving further to the right. When, in your opinion, is it time to say "enough"? It seems we are always being told to wait and hold off until after this election to go with a third party, etc.. I've had enough and feel we have nothing to lose at this point.

Nothing can be done to prevent school shootings, but somehow this is the only country that has such ...

NostraDumbass comments on May 25, 2022:

I’m in the middle of a conversation with a gun lover named Spike Talon. From his perspective, the real problem is mental health. Solve that problem (which actually exists everywhere) and you will solve the gun violence problem. Another problem is the existence of “No Weapons Zones”, which ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

@OldMetalHead Funny you mention Reagan as prez cutting mental health funding. As governor of California, he suddenly found himself supporting gun control once the Black Panthers in that state began carrying weapons in public, including at the state capital...

Nothing can be done to prevent school shootings, but somehow this is the only country that has such ...

NostraDumbass comments on May 25, 2022:

I’m in the middle of a conversation with a gun lover named Spike Talon. From his perspective, the real problem is mental health. Solve that problem (which actually exists everywhere) and you will solve the gun violence problem. Another problem is the existence of “No Weapons Zones”, which ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

@NostraDumbass So true. The 2nd Amendment was written when all guns were single shot weapons. How the hell should that still apply to all weapons, even ones that are automatic and hold clips of as much as 30 rounds?

Many people (the vast majority IMO) are intellectual misers when it comes to political issues.

skado comments on May 25, 2022:

True enough. Human nature leans in the direction of mimetic desire, and it takes quite a lot of effort to achieve escape velocity.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

It takes courage and strength to seek the truth for yourself, instead of just following the bandwagon and mimicing the majority of the human herd. Same with seeking and finding what is most positive for you, and hopefully also positive for the rest of society as well. What is positive for others may not be a positive choice or behavior for you, thus the benefit of not blindly mimicing the choices of the majority. Human nature also, for most people, seeks the path of least resistance and the greatest convenience, as well as self-interest over the greater good.

Although, i'm an agnostic i'm kinda leaning towards God as a malicious prankster.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 25, 2022:

I've always pictured God, if there was one, as a cruel jokester, who created, sat back, and let humans be an ongoing experiment..

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir Indeed.

The 18-year-old Buffalo, New York shooter bought his AR15 assault rifle legally.

linxminx comments on May 25, 2022:

As long as Americans equate gun regulation with lack of freedom, not much will change. I think when the older generations die off in the US we might see some change. My generation's parents equated gun control as a sign we would be taken over by a communist country. This feeling was passed on ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

I guess I'm one of those rare Boomers who wants sensible gun control and is intelligent and sane enough to know that personal gun ownership is not an effective protection against foreign invasion. We need to depend on our military for that. And the real threat to the common people is our own fascist government run by the rich and corporations. And against that, personal gun ownership is not going to be enough or effective against that as long as the majority of the cops and military side with them instead of us. We would be way outgunned and they would have superior coordination and communications. Gun owners who are rednecks or militia members who think they would win that kind of war are dreaming. Our only protection from dictatorship ruling here is if the majority of the cops and military chose to revolt in favor of our side, and I am not optimistic that they would. So in the meantime, we need gun control to prevent continued slaughter by right wing mass shooters and angry kids wanting to kill the other kids they hate at their school.

Wash your hands before...

OldGoat43 comments on May 25, 2022:

Seriously. I don't play around. Keep your distance.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

Or I'll bite...

WTAF?

Scott321 comments on May 25, 2022:

This has happened similarly in Florida and not entirely Republican. Never let a horrific tragedy go to waste. Exploit it to knock more holes into Jefferson’s wall: https://www.tampabay.com/blogs/gradebook/2018/02/21/florida-house-approves-bill-to-post-in-god-we-trust-in-all-public-schools/

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

More Thoughts And Prayers bullshit. This Dem pol should know better than that...

The same people who are always screaming about big government and insisting that the markets will ...

TomMcGiverin comments on May 24, 2022:

And they're also the same hypocritical shitheads who say " Government should be run like a business"...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 25, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir Maybe that's the plan. So the rich will survive when it all blows up and the peasants will all die or live with nothing to survive on.

That's a sign I would stand behind.

racocn8 comments on May 24, 2022:

Major kudos to anyone who calls them out for what they are (Nazis).

TomMcGiverin replies on May 24, 2022:

Nazis or fascists, I'm fine with either one, as both are accurate...

I am not a Conservative (at least not in the American meaning of this word), but I have to ...

DenoPenno comments on May 24, 2022:

As we travel through life we find it is not anything with Democrats or Republicans. It all has to do with the haves or the have nots. This is it.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 24, 2022:

Yup, it's not so much left and right, but up and down. As the Occupy movement said so eloquently, the 99% and the 1%, the opposing sides in the class war.

Southern Baptist Convention leaders mishandled sexual abuse allegations, report says - CNN

TomMcGiverin comments on May 23, 2022:

Southern evangelical good old boys who hate women. So, what else is new?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 24, 2022:

@anglophone Very possible.

New Rule: Along for the Pride | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

TomMcGiverin comments on May 23, 2022:

I'm so sick of liberals focusing on culture war stuff to the exclusion of any real effort to fighting class warfare against the rich and corporations, because doing so ensures that the working class will never side with people like me and instead will side with the theocrats. And that is how we will...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 23, 2022:

@rainmanjr Suit yourself regarding Obama or Slick Willie. As far as I'm concerned, they were both lying sellouts who also carried on the same neoliberal, war-mongering policies as the two Bushes. I hate them both and both used their office to serve corporate America and then get handsomely repaid later by going on the lecture circuit, just as I knew they would, to cash in on that service. As Bill Maher, who is far from perfect himself, but often bluntly so right about politicians, said about Obama and his policies, " He was Bush Jr. (W,) in blackface". But since the Dem Party is so obsessed with PC and depending on black voters, no one in the party had the guts to call him on his corrupt policies while he was in office, except for Bernie...and even then, Bernie would get punished for it by having it implied that he was racist or at best unsympathetic to black folks. When the truth was, he was simply calling out corruption when he saw it, the same as he does with Repubs. I so hate it when race is weaponized and used against the left and progressives by Dem centrists and corrupt party loyalists.

New Rule: Along for the Pride | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

TomMcGiverin comments on May 23, 2022:

I'm so sick of liberals focusing on culture war stuff to the exclusion of any real effort to fighting class warfare against the rich and corporations, because doing so ensures that the working class will never side with people like me and instead will side with the theocrats. And that is how we will...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 23, 2022:

@rainmanjr I agree that the Dem Party is not allied with fundy religion or the Federalist Society, but they sure as hell are in Wall Street's, Corporate America's, the ruling class's and the MIC's pockets, rather than on our side in the class war. I suppose we have to first defeat the theocrats, then fight the class war with a third party later, after dumping the Dems. I am not optimistic we will even win that first war, and I am so fucking sick of being told to trust the Dems and vote Blue No Matter Who for the last forty years while the Dems kept lying and selling out the 99%.

@duchessa1 has blocked me after replying to a comment I made.

Diaco comments on May 14, 2022:

Hmm, who's he/she! "Member is not available."! apparently, he blocked me before too :D

TomMcGiverin replies on May 21, 2022:

@Beowulfsfriend Now that combination is just weird and wrong!

Can anybody explain to me why people mount lethal assaults on their life partners, please?

Barnie2years comments on May 18, 2022:

10 years in prison for murder? Slap on the wrist for assault? I thought American justice was lax! Where is the incentive not to kill your partner when you’re pissed at them? Couple of years you can go back out and find a new punching bag! 🤬

TomMcGiverin replies on May 21, 2022:

American justice is certainly not lax if you are poor, colored or a drug user, tho that last one is getting better.

Waiter! Bring me food! [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on May 21, 2022:

Impatient and greedy! Cats probably shouldn't get people food that often, but some of them would even eat lasagna...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 21, 2022:

@Lilac-JadeCanada That's probably healthier for them.

Poll Reveals American Church Membership Is At An All-Time Low

Silver1wun comments on May 21, 2022:

This is the 'atheist rapture' going o. Though slower than the one Christian aligned cults anticipate for themselves, it will nevertheless result in THEM being left behing in an unmanageable non-reality. We're emancipated and they remain trapped and abandoned, in dwindling numbers.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 21, 2022:

We shall see..

Too all the woman out there...EXACTLY!!!!

Garban comments on May 20, 2022:

I agree with his conclusions, but question his motivation. He’s sincere, or maybe just horny? Just saying.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 20, 2022:

@Garban Who knows? Could be any or all of them.

Too all the woman out there...EXACTLY!!!!

Garban comments on May 20, 2022:

I agree with his conclusions, but question his motivation. He’s sincere, or maybe just horny? Just saying.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 20, 2022:

True. You often never know someone's true motivations. For example, here on Agnostic, I can't count the number of times I've seen male members here side with women that were male-bashing on the boards and wondered, "Were they motivated by fear of being ostrasized by female members on here (if they sided against the woman), or were they doing it because they wanted to score points with the female members in hope of impressing them and ending up with a girlfriend from the site?" The latter of which would be pretty unlikely unless they wanted to start a long distance relationship.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

ToakReon comments on May 16, 2022:

It depends on the christian girl. If she's the sort of christian that genuinely accepts that being a christian does not mean she has the divine right to ram her faith in other people's faces, then the difference in 'religious view' could be manageable. If, on the other hand, she's a full-blown...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@creative51 Quite true. I have been a member of two Unitarian churches in my area. But I would add one caveat about Unitarian women. In my experience, many of the older single ones, say age 50 or older, are so rabidly feminist, to the point of being fairly negative about men in general, and very closely tied to their Unitarian sisters in the church congregation and other outside female friends, as well as their kids and grandkids, if they have them, that a lot of them are really not interested in dating men. And it is not because of any lesbian sexual orientation or such, they simply come to feel that romantic and sexual relationships with men are not important or relevant to their lives anymore. Which is fine, but it can be pretty disappointing and frustrating for single Unitarian men who come to church looking for a partner. Fortunately for me, I was married for most of my years with that church. I went there sporadically for a couple years after I was widowed, but stopped going after I no longer felt I fit in there socially anymore, with all the couples, the young families and all these dedicated, content spinsters and otherwise uninterested women my age.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

xenoview comments on May 16, 2022:

Please delete 3 of you extra postings.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@xenoview He's right, Buck, you may not be responsible, for the duplicates, but only you and the admin. or site support can delete them. And we all know they are MIA, so why not be a nice and helpful guy, rather than a defensive dick, and remove them? Just be a grownup, rather than childish and stubborn...

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

creative51 comments on May 16, 2022:

I have found a few enlightened women over the years, so they are out there. You just have to look carefully. You are likely not going to find anyone on this site, but the community discourse is interesting.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

You won't find anyone local, that's for sure, on this site, unless you live in a few very secular areas of the US, or in a very large metro area, and by that, I'm talking at least a couple million or more in population. And even then, lots of large US cities have very few non-believers who are on this site.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

Julie808 comments on May 16, 2022:

When I was actively searching online for a dating partner, I was adamant and very outspoken that I was only interested in non-religious men, whether agnostic, atheist, freethinkers, what have you, but nobody who is a believer in monotheism. That was like first line in my dating profile. It was ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

Even I have shaded my profile labels some to prevent the huge amount of rejection that being totally honest would cost me in my conservative, very traditional dating pool. But someone who would radically change their label on religion or something else really a core value, is not to be trusted enough to date. In my case, I have changed, on the advice of my therapist and my friends, my label on drinking alcohol from NO or non-drinker to "Sometimes, depends on the day", as a way of labelling myself as a social drinker, because in my dating pool, being a total non-drinker is a kiss of death in my local culture of social drinking being hugely important in most people's lives. Same with religion. I identify as " Spiritual, but not religious", which is a mild way to say I am not religious, rather than straight out saying I am Agnostic. Because, once again, most people in my local dating pool are too ignorant to know the meaning of Agnostic and have many negative prejudices about Agnostics and Atheists. Once a woman replies to my first message, I usually tell them I am an Agnostic. I am not trying to trick them, merely trying to get my foot in the door long enough to find out if the woman is strongly religious or unaccepting, since most women's profiles are not very specific about how religious they are and Match has now taken away our ability to view their profile's checklist of traits the member is looking for in a partner. So what choice do I have but to do that, since I am flying blind on who will reject me or not for being non-religious? Of course, if a woman is specific in her profile that she is strongly religious, I don't even bother messaging them. Everything else, I keep it totally honest and clear about my own traits, except my hatred of country music, because being honest about that in my profile or first message would be too radical, unusual, or seemingly extreme in my local area, that it would prematurely turn off too many women who are mostly compatible with me on music tastes, but still like country music some, tho not their favorite, and would otherwise reject me if I put my music view up front. So, obviously, when you are very offbeat for your local online dating pool, you need to advertise in a way that is as honest as possible, but still giving you enough opportunities with people who are mostly similar to you and willing to compromise and accept some differences between them and you. But that will never happen if your differences are all spelled out so explicitly that that everyone reading about them will assume you are too indiscreet or totally weird to be able to get along with people or fit in with their family or some of their friends. And in that case, you will be seen as too anti-social for their circle and them, so they will ...

I just deactivated my Match account with about two weeks to go.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 15, 2022:

As far as being a "leftover", I am guessing, until I hear from you, that you are referring to another member saying sometime ago that everyone on dating sites is like an item in a thrift store, leftover items that are sometimes great bargains, etc, but are usually untaken because there is something ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@Sierra4 As Homer Simpson would say, man, " Beer, the cause and solution to all our problems.....".

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

JonnaBononna comments on May 16, 2022:

All I can say is you never know. I grew up outside of Bourbon Missouri, a town with a population just over 1600 as of the 2010 census, and I never would have thought there was any non believers there. But there's someone from there on this site!!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@JonnaBononna I know it well, JB. I once lived for two years in a small town of 2500 that had about that many churches and only two bars, plus a bowling alley that sold booze and had a bar in it. It taught me that there is something seriously fucked up, at least by my standards, in any place where that kind of ratio of churches to bars is going on....

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 16, 2022:

You need to keep an eye out for making duplicate posts, man. You ended up posting this three times. Need to delete the other two copies, maybe...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@Buck Nevertheless, the site system produced four total postings of your post. Why not delete three of them?