I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

Normanbites comments on May 16, 2022:

She just "wandered off"?? Lucky you!! A divorce is usually financially catastrophic. Hopefully you can easily get an annulment .... but I would recommend that only if you plan to never do the matrimony thing again. I think it is one of those foolish things we do out of tradition .... you know, like ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

I wonder the same thing. I feel sure there are lots of women, even in my local area, that are at least non-religious, if not Agnostic or Atheist, because the numbers of them at the local Unitarian church have them in the majority there, but the problem is that probably most of those non-believing women are either already taken, not interested in dating, or unwilling to use dating sites. And yes, being alone is still better than being with the wrong person or kind of person for you.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

TheoryNumber3 comments on May 16, 2022:

No can do. Some things you simply can't agree to disagree on. Besides, who would want a partner who doesn't share your core values? I wouldn't want to have to censor myself in a relationship, and believe me I couldn't.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@TheoryNumber3 Thanks, that is very flattering to hear..

I am not a cyclist or a vegan, but I spent the afternoon at a brewery with both types.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 16, 2022:

You run into lots of them around breweries here, most of them are both types. And frankly, some of them can be pretty arrogant and snobby. Personally, I think a lot of these rec cyclists look pretty silly in their full biking gear, trying to look like participants in the Tour De France.....

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

@GreenAtheist Yes, it does often seem to be a case of overkill, shameless exhibitionism, and wanting to show off how much money or status they have, or think they should have, compared to us average slobs....

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

TheoryNumber3 comments on May 16, 2022:

No can do. Some things you simply can't agree to disagree on. Besides, who would want a partner who doesn't share your core values? I wouldn't want to have to censor myself in a relationship, and believe me I couldn't.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

My comment above about standards and dealbreakers was a reply to you. Sorry it ended up above your comment for some reason.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

Oldman51 comments on May 16, 2022:

I could live with one if they kept their religion and politics to themselves as I keep mine to myself.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

I can keep my lack of religion to myself most of the time with a partner, but I would never be able to keep my politics to myself in a relationship, so that is why I could date a moderately religious woman, but never a conservative one.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

JonnaBononna comments on May 16, 2022:

All I can say is you never know. I grew up outside of Bourbon Missouri, a town with a population just over 1600 as of the 2010 census, and I never would have thought there was any non believers there. But there's someone from there on this site!!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

That is astounding, considering the local culture there. I live in a metro area of more close to 300k, but have yet to meet a single person from this site, tho a couple women have been members here and left quickly after they joined. I think there have been a few men from my area on here as well, but they too were never interested in meeting me, understandably, I suppose, since they only joined for dating and never got involved in the community on Agnostic.

I’ve pretty much been single since my ex wife wandered off in 2009.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 16, 2022:

You need to keep an eye out for making duplicate posts, man. You ended up posting this three times. Need to delete the other two copies, maybe...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

We all need and deserve to have standards, and at least a few dealbreakers, in our dating preferences, with the understanding, of course, that each of them narrows our chances of finding a match and how many suitable people we will meet and end up dating in the game.

The eclipse for sure is present in the sky I couldn't see the blood moon though however I did locate...

LucyLoohoo comments on May 15, 2022:

Oh, lord...it's my ex-husband!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 16, 2022:

Quick, time to load the silver bullets...

I just deactivated my Match account with about two weeks to go.

Mooolah comments on May 15, 2022:

I usually delete my account 30 seconds after joining. One is not a failure on these sites. Social circumstances make for challenging dating times. OUR TIME is Match for old codgers like us. Then there is Farmers Only which has some sincere folks says some reviews. Personally men should learn how to...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

I have to disagree with a lot of that. Why should bald men have to grow facial hair? I look better and younger without it. Why should women be presumptive enough to assume I have cancer without facial hair? That seems shallow, presumptive, and arrogant to make that assumption. I'm not cooridinated enough to dance well, so why should I be required to learn to dance or dance? By those same tokens, maybe all women should be required to not be overweight, etc. See what I mean, both genders can play the game of being overly-demanding and judgemental? I have tried Our Time, which is owned by the same conglomerate as Match, and it's actually a worse site. It has about the same age groups of older adults on it, but it has less profile info and smaller profiles for the members to post or go on in selecting who to message or reach out to. The OP's pics look fine, nothing to criticize or be suspicious of there. He has been doing anything but whine, Moolah. I think he has way more than a clue. I like you and realize you are just a born again spinster, but I think you are being way too hard on him and older men in general. Feel free to disagree or argue with me about these points, because I like and respect you, but I think you are wrong here about most of this, so I couldn't just let it pass... I realize you may have been saying most or all of it in jest, but it seemed hard to tell, so excuse me for being my usual serious self. I have grown tired of the constant male-bashing that would happen on these boards, so I feel compelled to challenge or address any statements that seem to imply or smack of that sentiment.

If budgets are moral documents, what does the US budget say about ours?

Ryo1 comments on May 15, 2022:

It is frustrating that we, tax payers, have no say in what our governments decide to do with our money.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

@Ryo1 I really do feel that desperate, tho I could well be wrong. Instead, it may end up being a situation where the country splits in two over its laws and policies, without physically separating into two countries, because they want to continue sharing a military for national defense, and to also share regulation and operation of natural resources and national parks. Like a couple that splits but continues to live together.

I just deactivated my Match account with about two weeks to go.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 15, 2022:

As far as being a "leftover", I am guessing, until I hear from you, that you are referring to another member saying sometime ago that everyone on dating sites is like an item in a thrift store, leftover items that are sometimes great bargains, etc, but are usually untaken because there is something ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

@Sierra4 That's what I figured from looking at your pics. You are younger living and in better shape than most people your physical age. Too bad so many or most women in online dating are not willing to be open-minded and make the effort to get to know you and discover that in reality you might well be "young" enough for them. If nothing else, I have learned from your sharing about this and I plan to share it with my female 71 yo friend, both so she sees that she has company in the struggles of the older age dating game, and also to encourage her to remain open-minded about men her age on Match and to evaluate each of them case by case and with a clean slate, rather than make assumptions about all men in their early or mid 70s. Thank you for sharing and if nothing else, this has been helpful for me and her. Hell, man, you're probably in fitter shape and better physical condition than me, despite the age diff. . I can't even remember the last time I tried to run. If I did it now, I would probably hurt myself, so forget playing softball, etc...

I just deactivated my Match account with about two weeks to go.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 15, 2022:

As far as being a "leftover", I am guessing, until I hear from you, that you are referring to another member saying sometime ago that everyone on dating sites is like an item in a thrift store, leftover items that are sometimes great bargains, etc, but are usually untaken because there is something ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

@Sierra4 Wow, that is really bullshit to refuse to date someone only two years older than you. That just goes to show that it's not only men who refuse to date someone their own age, and instead only want to date women much younger than them. Two years is nothing for an age difference and she clearly has issues about age that show her to be someone to pass on. I still would be interested in knowing your age, since it isn't in your profile on Agnostic. She assumes, without even meeting you, that you are "old", when she is practically the same age? What makes her supposedly so much "younger" than you in her health or thinking, etc.? I'd like to know how she presumes she is so much younger in most qualities than most men who are her age. Her example just shows how fucked up some people, probably many people, are out there in the online dating world. So I can see why, even if for just that reason, that you feel the process is useless and choose to give up on it. I feel pretty certain there is nothing wrong with your profile, and the problem is more in the women your age that are on dating sites. Believe me, I can relate, even tho I am younger. There is nothing either of us can do about living in a local dating pool that either just doesn't fit with us or is bone dry when it comes to women who are right for us and interested in us. Ok, now I see that you are 74. Then I do think it is all about age and the dating sites. You, like my 71 yo female widowed friend, appear to have aged out of the dating sites like Match, which seem to skew towards younger people, like in their late 60s for the top end of their membership numbers. The only alternative I can think of would be searching for dating sites that specialize in only senior citizens. I wish I knew of them, because at my current rate, I will probably still be alone at your age, in about ten years from now. My 71 yo friend has told me that most men her age that she encounters on Match seem to be too "old" for her in either their thinking or their physical health, as she looks younger than her age and is in good health for her age, but I have told her that she needs to be careful to not arbitrarily dismiss all men who are in their 70s on dating sites, because in doing so she will likely miss out on someone her age who is, like her," younger" than most folks in their age group and would be compatible for her. Obviously, the woman who rejected you on Match either lacks such advice from people in her life, or chooses to ignore them.

If budgets are moral documents, what does the US budget say about ours?

Ryo1 comments on May 15, 2022:

It is frustrating that we, tax payers, have no say in what our governments decide to do with our money.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

We do have a say, technically, with our right to vote. But as long as most people either don't vote or only vote for the two corrupt major parties, it makes no difference. We will only begin to have a say if most of us eligible to vote, dump both major parties and elect a president and congress that are not from the major parties. And even then, if that happened, I fear that the ruling class would then use the military to institute a crackdown and install a dictatorship that would serve the rich and corporations. But until then, we may as well get to it and try throwing out the two major parties and have the civil war that would probably be needed to get our country back, rather than continuing on with this charade of democracy...

A rural Kansas town voted to remove "In God We Trust" from police cars

BufftonBeotch comments on May 13, 2022:

"Comply or Die" might be more accurate.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 15, 2022:

Esp. if you're colored and male....

‘Yoga Barbie’ blasted as Satanic and you couldn’t make this stuff up / Queerty

BufftonBeotch comments on May 14, 2022:

A Barbie with knees and hip that function like a reasonable human? Let alone a normal human breast size. SATAN!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 14, 2022:

I was just waiting for The Church Lady to say that!

‘Yoga Barbie’ blasted as Satanic and you couldn’t make this stuff up / Queerty

KKGator comments on May 14, 2022:

Oh, FFS!

TomMcGiverin replies on May 14, 2022:

It's obvious that some people need to get a life of their own and quit obsessing about the lives of others...

If budgets are moral documents, what does the US budget say about ours?

TomMcGiverin comments on May 14, 2022:

Because the MIC is the biggest lobbying group in our federal political system and war is very profitable, at least for an elite number of people in America. Providing for the basic needs of kids, or any other age group of Americans, is not profitable, in fact it would require the rich to pay more in...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 14, 2022:

@p-nullifidian And since then, both parties sold out to the MIC, while the corporate media cooperates in making it taboo to discuss what Ike said at all.

Margaret Atwood Once Thought 'Handmaid's Tale' Was 'Too Far-Fetched.

KKGator comments on May 14, 2022:

There absolutely needs to be a lot more pushback against this garbage. There is no room for civility anymore.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 14, 2022:

Civility is for wimps, cowards, and those that remain in denial about political reality. Merely asking nicely and appealing to conscience quit being effective long ago. Power only responds to a fight and the threat of what may happen with violence. That is why the protests in the 60s were effective, because the powers that be were afraid of how the movements would tear and burn it all down or at least cause so much disruption that the rich and corporations could no longer do business as usual. The ruling class made concessions to MLK and the civil rights movement only because they preferred that rather than deal with folks like Malcom X or The Black Panthers, tho they later eliminated them both after making concessions. As for the anti-war radical groups, the war ended less because of them than because the rulers saw that they could no longer get enough cooperation and support for the draft from the young men to keep up the troop levels, so they began pulling back from Vietnam. The radical, violent anti-war groups were not that effective in stopping the war. The rulers were afraid of being humiliated with massive resistance to the draft.

Well, I guess this beats a pregnancy positive.

Mooolah comments on May 12, 2022:

As a teen I often thought about what would be worse, a pregnancy or an STI.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 13, 2022:

I'd say the pregnancy, unless the STI is incurable and permanent, like herpes or leprosy.

I say heck with it, lets just get the divorce! They can call their country trumpkanistan or ...

DharmaBum50 comments on May 12, 2022:

How about this map (based on a previous presidential election)? That joke aside, it's somewhat of a conundrum for us older, bluer sorts living in a red area, though--do we want to spend a large chunk of what life remains for us relocating? Especially since it isn't as neatly divided as the first ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 12, 2022:

I'm in a similar situation. I live in a blue metro area of a very red state. There is a very progressive enclave about two hours away, I am not interested in moving there, as I have no one I know living there. If the shooting of lefties by right wing nuts begins tho, I will probably have to move north to Minneapolis to survive, which would be ok, except for the winters and a higher cost of living.

Their just aren't simple answers to complex questions no matte what you would like to believe

Boomtarat03 comments on May 10, 2022:

The People go to what they think is suitable for them, they don't care if it's right or wrong 🙂☹

TomMcGiverin replies on May 12, 2022:

Esp. here in the Midwest, where conformity is everything, most people go with thinking whatever helps them fit in with others and get along with the herd. Free thinking or striving to follow the truth is put down as divisive or dangerous to the community. Caring about thinking critically and being right is seen as self-indulgent and anti-social.

Joe Manchin joins Republicans opposing bill to codify Roe v.

rainmanjr comments on May 11, 2022:

He's this Congress's Joe Lie-berman and Baucus. That's what Blue Dogs do. They only ran, originally, on the Dem ticket because the Con side was taken. Then they had to keep saying they're a Dem. It would be nice if we had let The South go. Lincoln fucked that up.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 12, 2022:

Agreed. If Texas or any of these other red states want to secede, fucking let them..... It would only improve our politics and culture...

Joe Manchin joins Republicans opposing bill to codify Roe v.

SeaGreenEyez comments on May 11, 2022:

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 😡😡 I am SO over the Democrats. Biden and all of his "let's all just get along" bullshit has lead us to this moment. It's time to STOP supporting these Democrats. Every last one of them. Given they're all worthless. #overthemall

TomMcGiverin replies on May 12, 2022:

Agreed. I decided a long time ago the Dem Party, at least at the federal level, is beyond reform or redemption. Time to form a third party that is about justice and economic fairness, and offers a real alternative to the corruption and complicity of the duopoly. From Obama to Biden, this bullshit talk about seeking bipartisan cooperation that is a non-existent fairly tale is really just an excuse to not take real action or fight for anything. It is always a way to blame the Repubs for things the Dem leaders never wanted to do in the first place, usually because it would offend their donor class...

Comedian Steve hofstetter is my answer to George Carlin.

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 11, 2022:

He is very funny. I wouldn't say he is a George though; I would be willing to bet that even he would agree.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 11, 2022:

Agreed. Nobody is Carlin's equal when discussing our corrupt leaders and rigged system.. Other comedians seem too prone to going easier on one major party over the other, while Carlin knew that neither one deserved any respect or trust, because they were owned by the same people and serve the same people. He was honest and cynical enough to realize that putting hope into either party was a waste of time.

Escaped Alabama murder suspect Casey White is in custody and his prison guard lover is in hospital |...

Gwendolyn2018 comments on May 9, 2022:

They should have let her die of the self inflicted gun wound. Yes, I am a harsh old woman who does not believe that everyone is "redeemable."

TomMcGiverin replies on May 9, 2022:

@SeaGreenEyez Agreed. You can bet your ass if he had been colored-black or brown, they would have lit up that vehicle like something out of Bonnie And Clyde or The Godfather, where in both movies a car was shot to pieces. The cops would have made sure everyone got the point....

Maybe the blue states where abortion is legal, should put clinics at the airport ?

rainmanjr comments on May 8, 2022:

I'm sure they will. I'm also sure the firewall of red states will shut off vehicle transportation of pregnant women to coastal states (unless they can demonstrate destination and purpose). Western states will face trucking hassles, as well, so become reliant on air and ports. Fed run ports. The ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 9, 2022:

@rainmanjr Agreed. If it comes to that, I will gladly take up a gun and shoot it out in the streets with these pricks. I would rather die that way than sitting at home waiting for them to come get me and either shoot me or put me in a camp.

Maybe the blue states where abortion is legal, should put clinics at the airport ?

rainmanjr comments on May 8, 2022:

I'm sure they will. I'm also sure the firewall of red states will shut off vehicle transportation of pregnant women to coastal states (unless they can demonstrate destination and purpose). Western states will face trucking hassles, as well, so become reliant on air and ports. Fed run ports. The ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 8, 2022:

@rainmanjr If I had more money, and a partner to leave with, I would do it. But I have family ties, really, and my local friends, who are my whole emotional support system, are not going to leave, so I'm stuck.

Maybe the blue states where abortion is legal, should put clinics at the airport ?

rainmanjr comments on May 8, 2022:

I'm sure they will. I'm also sure the firewall of red states will shut off vehicle transportation of pregnant women to coastal states (unless they can demonstrate destination and purpose). Western states will face trucking hassles, as well, so become reliant on air and ports. Fed run ports. The ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 8, 2022:

@rainmanjr I'm not very optimistic that our side would win. And I don't think the Dem Party really cares that much about civil rights and liberties. The conflict really boils down to the White Christian fascists against the antifa and anti-theocrats. I think a civil war would likely end with the South and Midwest being one country and the rest of the continental US, with the exception of a few western states, being another country. I have little confidence that the cops and military would be very much allied with our side. I think they would stand by the sidelines at best, or even side against us with the fascists.

Maybe the blue states where abortion is legal, should put clinics at the airport ?

rainmanjr comments on May 8, 2022:

I'm sure they will. I'm also sure the firewall of red states will shut off vehicle transportation of pregnant women to coastal states (unless they can demonstrate destination and purpose). Western states will face trucking hassles, as well, so become reliant on air and ports. Fed run ports. The ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 8, 2022:

If the red states begin doing that at their borders, it will be just like The Handmaid's Tale, where border guards on the US side were stopping fleeing Americans and shooting them with automatic weapons if they tried to run from them, and those that didn't would be captured and sent to prison camps.

The Most Joe Biden Thing Ever [caitlinjohnstone.

Piece2YourPuzzle comments on May 5, 2022:

Obama told everyone when he was president that he was going to codify Roe v Wade and then when it came time he said that it wasn't a priority. It's the same old song. Democrats have control and do nothing or next to nothing and they blame Republicans. Republicans should get the blame too, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 8, 2022:

@Piece2YourPuzzle You got it. The Dems just run their standard excuses every time, expect you to forgive them and vote Blue No Matter Who, because, of course, it's always "the most important election of our lifetime", etc.... Well, this fool quit falling for it a long time ago.. As far as the major parties moving to the right, the Dems are already to the right of Eisenhower(except, of course, on the usual culture war issues, which are mainly used to distract us), so what does that tell you? The Dems don't want to lose abortion as an issue for fundraising among the rubes and riling up their base, because if they did, more people might start looking at how complicit and how much they are like the Repubs on all the issues that matter to the rich and corporations, and we can't have that.....

Debate: porn does more good than harm Pre-debate poll.

domos comments on May 5, 2022:

The debate video is out. https://agnostic.com/share/q664448/domos

TomMcGiverin replies on May 8, 2022:

@domos No, but I was just being honest.

Here are two more.

TomMcGiverin comments on May 7, 2022:

Because they would rather have all that than a socialist like Bernie in power. Also don't forget to credit Barry The Liar (Obama) for his role in making sure Bernie never got nominated either time.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 7, 2022:

@mcgeo52 That shows how much politics have changed with time. Bernie is a New Deal type socialist, in some ways as lefty as FDR, in other ways not much different than Ike. Except, unlike Ike, Bernie has not opposed the MIC openly, like Ike did on his way out of public life. Maybe because since that time the subject has become even more taboo in DC. Big money, esp. from the MIC, has corrupted both parties so much that no one dare question the military budget or wars of choice without being marginalized from any real power in their party.

The Most Joe Biden Thing Ever [caitlinjohnstone.

Piece2YourPuzzle comments on May 5, 2022:

Obama told everyone when he was president that he was going to codify Roe v Wade and then when it came time he said that it wasn't a priority. It's the same old song. Democrats have control and do nothing or next to nothing and they blame Republicans. Republicans should get the blame too, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 7, 2022:

I agree with you in general about almost all of that, but I am not optimistic that the Dems will save us at the last minute from Roe being overturned. The Dems really don't give a damn about having control of DC, just about getting their corporate campaign money, while their leaders and their families keep their perks, their Ivy League educations, their cushy corporate, think tank, or government jobs after they leave office. They are addicted to that, as well as the corporate campaign cash. Only a fool thinks that continuing to vote for either major party in fed elections is every going to fundamentally change anything, not even (these days) some of the culture war issues that both parties keep using to rile their bases and raise money from the rubes besides the more important and much larger cash they get from corporations and the rich.

Stunning irony:

rainmanjr comments on May 7, 2022:

I'll bet the planning for this strategically offensive double punch went into motion the day SCOTUS took this case. I don't like that they're winning, and hope this Roe-back (pun) causes big losses in Nov., but the real world success of goals is impressive. I'll give them that.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 7, 2022:

They timed this for now, because they have enough voter suppression laws in place, with enough states, to overcome the increased votes against them by women over backlash on abortion. Enough suppression of votes by colored people will still allow the Repubs to control congress and the WH even with all the lost female votes. The Repubs may be evil, but they are good at calculation. I hope I am wrong too, like you. But the Repubs have had the votes on the SC for some time to overturn Roe, they just wanted make sure they first had what they needed to keep winning fed elections and controlling DC, even if only a small % of women vote for them. They saw what happened to the Dems in the South after civil rights laws were passed in the 60s.

Liberals are not looking to dominate anybody. We just want fair treatment for EVERYBODY.

Matias comments on May 7, 2022:

Depends on how you define "fair treatment" Is it fair that Group A must be disadvantaged today in order to make up for an injustice committed against Group B in the past? The answer depends on whether you focus on individuals or on groups.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 7, 2022:

Being a socialist, my focus is on groups and the greater good, rather than individuals. Your mileage may vary, of course...

One thing for sure: RBG would not be deterred.

racocn8 comments on May 6, 2022:

Not if they won't vote.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 7, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir I think they will, but the Repubs will suppress enough votes from colored people with the new voting law restrictions, that the increased Dem votes from women will be outweighed by the lost votes from colored folks. That is why the Repubs waited until now to overturn Roe, because they know they will still be able to win elections without the votes of all those women that might turn out. The timing is very calculated, in my opinion, since the SC has had the votes for a couple decades to overturn Roe, but they didn't because they feared the backlash could cost them fed elections for decades, like civil rights laws cost the Dems the South permanently.

Have the scientists been eating the ergot? [discovery.com]

itsmeagain comments on May 6, 2022:

I think kittens might be more appealing . . . .

TomMcGiverin replies on May 6, 2022:

Depends on your motives. If you want to scare them, send photos of the violent right wing theocrats, if you want to be friendly to them and make them feel positively about our planet and humans, send ones of kittens.

Debate: porn does more good than harm Pre-debate poll.

domos comments on May 5, 2022:

The debate video is out. https://agnostic.com/share/q664448/domos

TomMcGiverin replies on May 6, 2022:

Sorry, but I won't watch a video that is over an hour long. It's not that I don't have the time, but I'm just not interested enough to put in that long an effort.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

Julie808 comments on May 5, 2022:

Sounds like my ex-boyfriend, except he ended up "banging" women a good 10-15 years older than him most of his adult life, since the only thing he had going for him was to be a "boy toy" for them. He has it in for women for many reasons. Lots of problems he's never worked out with a therapist, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

@Julie808 You bring up a lot of harsh truths about reality and relationships that most people are too weak or timid to face, much less admit, about themselves or how the world works when it comes to relationships. It was refreshing to read, esp. the parts about people needing therapy. It has been very obvious to me with online dating that the vast majority of women on dating sites, esp. the divorced ones, have never gotten the therapy they need before trying to date. I have no doubt the situation is the same with men on the other side of online dating, but I have no experience with them, so I won't claim to know what's happening with them. If I had my way, nobody would be able to join a dating site as a member without proof of recent therapy, but that is impractical and never going to happen. I see a lot of denial in general among Americans about their need for therapy, and no doubt it contributes to why our society is so sick and why so many people treat others badly on a regular basis, whether they be strangers or people they actually are involved with. As you say, some of us are damaged, (and I would venture that most of us are damaged). I would say that most of our society is made up damaged, angry, hostile people, whether they are aware of this about themselves or not, and no wonder they behave as they do when they never get help. It's obvious that churches telling people to be nice to others is not enough by itself. I say therapy is better....

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

BufftonBeotch comments on May 4, 2022:

I certainly have come to love the single life. Many men seem to expect a full time cook, maid, bookkeeper, laundress, entertainment coordinator etc, etc, etc when in a relationship. Go stack sand. Grain upon grain. I will not do that again.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

I see that the sisterhood of bitter, male-bashing women that I have long ago blocked or been blocked by, Anne Wimsey, Deb57, Cast1es, and Lorajay, all rallied to your side and supported you. What a surprise..... not.. Just proves me and Sticks right, that male-bashing remains popular on these boards and is unquestioned by more than a few of the women..

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

mischl comments on May 4, 2022:

That's exactly what it is: a fairy tale. (PS: I ain't a fairy.)

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

@mischl Sounds ideal. I'm happy for you.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

Julie808 comments on May 5, 2022:

Sounds like my ex-boyfriend, except he ended up "banging" women a good 10-15 years older than him most of his adult life, since the only thing he had going for him was to be a "boy toy" for them. He has it in for women for many reasons. Lots of problems he's never worked out with a therapist, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

@Garban Your points square with my experience and what I have personally heard from others. Some people are cut out for real relationships and some aren't. What matters is figuring out what suits you and going with that, in an honest way. Fortunately for me, I am good with compromise and fine with doing it.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

Julie808 comments on May 5, 2022:

Sounds like my ex-boyfriend, except he ended up "banging" women a good 10-15 years older than him most of his adult life, since the only thing he had going for him was to be a "boy toy" for them. He has it in for women for many reasons. Lots of problems he's never worked out with a therapist, but ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

@darren316 I'm not sure everyone prefers that, but you and Julie are right, people should be honorable and honest about who they are and what they want from others. Using people and being dishonest is not right, but at least for a while, if you're good looking enough, you can get away with it a lot of the time...

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

BufftonBeotch comments on May 4, 2022:

I certainly have come to love the single life. Many men seem to expect a full time cook, maid, bookkeeper, laundress, entertainment coordinator etc, etc, etc when in a relationship. Go stack sand. Grain upon grain. I will not do that again.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

@Sticks48 Same here. I didn't cook on my own when I lived with my wife, sometimes cooked with her help and supervision, but I was always glad to do the dishes afterwards as well as clean around the house. Have always done my own laundry. Did all the outside work around the house. Haven't cooked since then. I have never expected a woman to cook for me. She and I lived together for two years before getting married, because we both wanted to be sure what we were getting into and that it would work out good for both of us, because she had already been divorced twice and I had never even lived with a woman before.

"I want a world where the democrats will put somebody up there worth voting for!" Lt.

Scott321 comments on May 4, 2022:

That cartoon pretty much sums it up for me. We’re doomed.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 5, 2022:

We're certainly doomed as long as we depend on the two major parties to save us or help us. And even with most of us suddenly voting in a third party, the odds of success without violent revolution are long, as the ruling class will not give up power peacefully, and there is no certainty the majority of Americans supporting a revolution would still even win against the rich, well-armed minority.. I am not optimistic that we would not have to also fight the vast majority of the cops and military as well.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

itsmeagain comments on May 4, 2022:

So why does he ask her to marry him?

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

Good point, since the rest of the story suggests that he never actually wanted any sort of committed relationship or marriage in the first place.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

BufftonBeotch comments on May 4, 2022:

I certainly have come to love the single life. Many men seem to expect a full time cook, maid, bookkeeper, laundress, entertainment coordinator etc, etc, etc when in a relationship. Go stack sand. Grain upon grain. I will not do that again.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

Not me, but I agree with you that many men want that kind of unequal, outdated kind of relationship. I always wanted an equal partnership, including splitting the bills and expenses we shared, household chores, and equal decision-making. But I guess I married a rare gem in my area, because nowadays it seems like being pro-feminist and wanting an equal partner seems too sissy or feminine to the women in my dating pool. Being that different from mainstream men in my area appears to seem suspicious to them, even if they might agree with your viewpoint, BB...

"I want a world where the democrats will put somebody up there worth voting for!" Lt.

WilliamCharles comments on May 4, 2022:

Pretty much.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

Ding, ding, ding! You got it! They are completely corrupt and complicit with the Repubs, because they are owned and funded by pretty much the same people and corporations. That's why it's all Kabuki theater and also like pro-wrestling. Every battle is planned, staged, and choreographed in advance. And afterwards, when the media and the rubes are out of earshot, like the pro wrestlers, the pols party behind closed doors and share a laugh and some drinks about how they fooled the rube voters and peasants... But if you try telling this to most Dem voters, they will see you as crazy, as if you were telling a very young child there is no Santa or Easter Bunny, because they can't stand to think differently. Realizing for the first time or considering the idea that the Dems don't actually care about peasants like them or have any intention of fighting for them is too existentially frightening and devastating to them, kind of like initially recognizing there is no God or that their parents cannot protect them from everything, all of those are things everyone wants to initially deny, because it's too frightening or painful. So it's easier to just get mad at the messenger or label them as crazy, etc....... Much harder to accept the reality that in the status quo we are almost all powerless, helpless peasants ruled by oligarchs who will never really be free until we revolt in massive numbers, either in the streets or by voting out both major parties, and that, either way, there will likely have to be a great amount of death and violence for us to overthrow the oligarchs. Most people are too timid to even consider those truths....

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

mischl comments on May 4, 2022:

That's exactly what it is: a fairy tale. (PS: I ain't a fairy.)

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

@mischl I actually think most men like the company, tho some may not want to admit it, because it's probably not fashionable or it comes off as needy, etc. But after living alone the last several years, I am, to be honest, sort of afraid of trying to live with a woman again, probably about adjusting to less privacy or having too many annoying habits, etc. Right now I would feel more comfortable just dating and continuing to live apart, with lots of visiting and staying overnight. Seems less risky and I have no financial need to live with anybody, since I'm very financially comfortable.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

mischl comments on May 4, 2022:

That's exactly what it is: a fairy tale. (PS: I ain't a fairy.)

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

@mischl Same here. My years living with my late wife were by far the happiest ones of my life, even more than the first several years of young adulthood working and living alone in apartments. Those first few years of freedom and carefree living as a single young man were fun and enjoyable, but still never nearly as happy and fulfilling as living with my life partner. I know that sounds corny, but it's true, so I really feel bummed about my last several years being alone and starting to feel hopeless about online dating. I tortured myself today by looking up how many women I had messaged in the last two months-48- and only two ever messaged me back, neither of them ended up meeting me in person. I got profile views from almost all of them. and I have had several people proof my profile, so it's not that. I guess I just don't stack up against the competition or fit the local dating pool's standards. The local dating pool on Match appears to have dried up, at least for me, lately....

Hearing Sunday night about the draft from the SCOTUS has left me with the same gut clenching concern...

glennlab comments on May 4, 2022:

It is hard to get people out to the polls, but everyone needs to drag another like minded person to the polls this November and again in 2024.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

@Garban, @Retiredsteve Same as you two, I live in a deeply red, one-party state, for all practical purposes, so my vote matters very little beyond the county election level. But I keep voting anyway, so I can honor my conscience and do the moral thing, even if it makes no difference in statewide elections, and it usually doesn't matter in elections for my congressional district.

Wish I lived that fairy tale.

mischl comments on May 4, 2022:

That's exactly what it is: a fairy tale. (PS: I ain't a fairy.)

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

I know that many men, esp. when they are young, fantasize about living this fairy tale, but I have actually known very few men who got to live that lifestyle. And even then, I bet most of them spend the late years of their life feeling a fair amount of regret, loneliness, and emptiness that they never had a long term life partner, esp. during their old age...

Incredibly, it's not the one with the 3000-feet-per-second muzzle velocity.

Dyl1983 comments on May 4, 2022:

All of the above. No reason. I just enjoy the thought of pissing Americans off.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 4, 2022:

You sir, are a professional smart-ass! There's one in every crowd....

She shot a TEEN in the FACE.

Gwendolyn2018 comments on May 2, 2022:

She should be put in prison for attempted murder and never given parole. (I really think that she should be executed, but some might think that a bit too harsh.)

TomMcGiverin replies on May 3, 2022:

@Gwendolyn2018 I agree Gwen, it's just that governments can't be trusted to only use it for heinous crimes. They are too tempted to use it for their political enemies and too prone to only give it out to their lesser citizens.

She shot a TEEN in the FACE.

Gwendolyn2018 comments on May 2, 2022:

She should be put in prison for attempted murder and never given parole. (I really think that she should be executed, but some might think that a bit too harsh.)

TomMcGiverin replies on May 3, 2022:

@Gwendolyn2018 The main reason I oppose the death penalty is because, as a socialist, I have seen how often it is abused in authoritarian countries against leftists who oppose the government. They end up being executed either after being framed or on trumped up charges. I also oppose it because it is applied unevenly against the poor and racial minorities, never against the rich.

She shot a TEEN in the FACE.

Gwendolyn2018 comments on May 2, 2022:

She should be put in prison for attempted murder and never given parole. (I really think that she should be executed, but some might think that a bit too harsh.)

TomMcGiverin replies on May 3, 2022:

@JonnaBononna I have to disagree. Some people are merely garbage wrapped in skin and are pure evil. While I do not favor the death penalty, for those kind of people I support extreme security conditions and severe punishment.

She shot a TEEN in the FACE.

Flyingsaucesir comments on May 2, 2022:

I wonder how a good guy with a gun would have stopped this bad gal with a gun. Question for Wayne LaPierre.

TomMcGiverin replies on May 2, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir Your point is spot on. The viewpoint of Wayne LaPiere leads only to the logical conclusion of a return to the Wild West, where everyone is armed and shoots first and asks ?s later. It is a lawless society with an unacceptable amount of carnage and no chance for the courts to be able to keep up with the constant violence that would be happening. I think few reasonable, sane people would want to return to that kind of anarchy. In such a society, there would be no protections for the weak and the meek, only the strongest and most viscious would be allowed any comfort or advantage.

I'm gonna be alone forever.

Betty comments on May 1, 2022:

Feeling sorry much. Before you can find someone to like you, you're going to have to like yourself. I bet given 10 seconds to list things you don't like about yourself, you would come up with 15 or 20 things. How long would it take you to come up with the same number of things you truly like ...

TomMcGiverin replies on May 1, 2022:

I see that Triphid and holdenc98 predictably chose to troll the OP. Since I have both of them blocked, I can't see what they wrote, but thank you for sticking up for the OP. And people wonder why almost nobody posts anymore about their dating experiences or their love life on these forums? Well, I know why and I posted about it quite a while ago. For obvious reasons, nobody is interested in being shot down, trolled or ridiculed for being honest and vulnerable about their struggles. That's why I quit doing it and I see no reason to change my decision in the face of how most people still act on these boards. Also, your suggestions for him hold some value, especially about seeing a therapist or counselor. The ideas about volunteering may or may not be right for him, but you are undoubtedly correct in suggesting that he get involved in something that will give him more social interaction with others, since it has always been the case that the world never comes to you, unless of course you are great-looking, you have to go out and engage with it if you are ever going to make friends or find love.

I do too but I work for a company that builds high speed trains, commuter trains and trams so ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 30, 2022:

That's just so anti-American (sarcasm)! Will never happen, as most Americans love their individualism and being able to drive their own cars like assholes. I never drive without running across assholes who insist on speeding, so those people will never give up their cars for public transit-too slow ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 30, 2022:

@Killtheskyfairy You live in NY state, I live in Iowa. Trust me, around here people abhor public transit. They see it as something for poor people and old folks who can't drive anymore. They would be embarrassed to use it. They all love NASCAR and many of them have illusions about being some kind of race car driver. I do agree about the conspiracy that sank public transit long ago in most parts of the country. Des Moines, Iowa used to have a great system of electric streetcars long ago, and I have heard many positive stories about it. But the city tore up the tracks and replaced them with buses. That was the beginning of the end. Nowadays the bus system around Des Moines sucks and is not practical to get most places, at least not in any reasonable amount of time. So the only people riding the buses are the mentally ill and the poor. There are paratransit buses for the elderly and the disabled.

Once again, I've seen worse on dating sites.

JGal comments on Apr 28, 2022:

I wonder why this guy even bothered putting up a profile. Nothing says "pick me" more than a "I hate everything" stance. However, not too far from Mr. Indiana is this gem. A suitor after my heart. What should I call him? Or should I just wait to be summoned?

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 29, 2022:

I really like his Yassar Arafat wardrobe. I'm sure he will attract the babes (sarcasm). It's a neck and neck race for who will attract the least interest...

Once again, I've seen worse on dating sites.

BitFlipper comments on Apr 28, 2022:

I'll bet he gets more hits than I do.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 28, 2022:

As repulsive and depressing as that sounds, I don't doubt it. I have learned from online dating that there are lots of sick women out there...

These 10 "non-commandments" seem reasonable to me. How about you?

freedom41 comments on Apr 27, 2022:

I like #5 the best.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 27, 2022:

@DenoPenno I do care about being a good person, but I don't need religion or the approval of the majority to do it. I base my standards on honesty, ethics and morals, not on religious requirements or what they ordain...

Ok, I just blocked a bunch of Assholes together, can't waste my time with these sick people and ...

Diaco comments on Apr 16, 2022:

Just found a Female version of them : LovinLarge Luckily she Blocked me :D for the LOVE of Noam Chomsky! https://agnostic.com/post/661165/chomsky-on-ukraine-an-honest-informed-international-historical-explanation-from-an-incredible-m

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 26, 2022:

@Diaco I suppose so, I just couldn't stand her nonsensical thinking, or lack of it... Too ignorant for my tolerance...

Ok, I just blocked a bunch of Assholes together, can't waste my time with these sick people and ...

Diaco comments on Apr 16, 2022:

Just found a Female version of them : LovinLarge Luckily she Blocked me :D for the LOVE of Noam Chomsky! https://agnostic.com/post/661165/chomsky-on-ukraine-an-honest-informed-international-historical-explanation-from-an-incredible-m

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 26, 2022:

Yeah, she and I have tangled before and she blocked me first, beating me to the punch. She is a stupid bitch... I am equal opportunity. I have an about an equal number of men and women blocked, and same with being blocked...

Can you believe my son is laughing at me because I am getting dinner ready and dancing because of ...

MichelleGar1 comments on Apr 25, 2022:

Here's another classic! Lol!!! https://youtu.be/ZqcXgODTeOU

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 26, 2022:

@MichelleGar1 Slipknot is from my city, like about everyone in Iowa, I am familiar with them.

Hot guy on dating site: "Hey let's meetup." Me: "Ok. How about Odenton?

BitFlipper comments on Apr 23, 2022:

In my experience there's never a right time to bring up sex. If a woman is interested in sex she will give little hints. And I'm still waiting for Santa to bring me a pony that farts glitter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 25, 2022:

Like it or not, that's how the game is played these days, unless, of course, the guy is hot looking, in which case he can pretty much get away with straight up saying, " Do you want to fuck?", in which case he will be forgiven for any lack of subtlety...

Can you believe my son is laughing at me because I am getting dinner ready and dancing because of ...

MichelleGar1 comments on Apr 25, 2022:

Here's another classic! Lol!!! https://youtu.be/ZqcXgODTeOU

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 25, 2022:

Seems about as constructive, intelligent, and worthwhile as most of Buffet's songs, at least to me. Also seems more funny to me than any of Buffet's songs... Then there's the fact that this is clearly satirical, while the whole Buffet thing seems to be straightforward mindlessness.....

Firearms were the leading cause of death in children in 2020, researchers say : NPR

Secretguy comments on Apr 25, 2022:

Meanwhile, in this shithole state, you will now be able to buy and carry with no permit or training.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 25, 2022:

Same in Iowa.

After losing his job for praying on the field, ex-high school football coach brings case to Supreme ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 24, 2022:

I see nothing wrong with what the coach was doing until it appears to have become a de facto requirement for his players to join the bandwagon in order to feel accepted by the coach and the rest of the team. At that point, it became a religious requirement for the players on the team, even if it was...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 24, 2022:

@JonnaBononna I agree, but I don't think the simple act of going out on the field then and kneeling, etc., was enough to get fired for, if he had kept it to just one incidence. It was his making it a regular ritual that was causing his players pressure to take sides with him or against him with repeated acts that made it a fireable offense. Once or twice would probably have not made it a fireable issue for the school.

After losing his job for praying on the field, ex-high school football coach brings case to Supreme ...

Flyingsaucesir comments on Apr 24, 2022:

I don't think he should lose his job for praying on the field, and Colin Kaepernick should not have lost his for taking a knee

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 24, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir The problem is that with his public displays of religion, over and over, he causes his players to feel pressured to join him in it, otherwise they will feel excluded by those who do join him and that they may lose playing time for not following him. He is an authority figure with power over his players, so his religious lead behavior becomes coercive to the players, whether intended to be that way or not. It is simple group dynamics.

Republican leaders know what a danger he is to the country. Yet...

racocn8 comments on Apr 23, 2022:

The GOP decided it didn't need a platform other than opposing the democrats (and democracy).

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 24, 2022:

And that works fine, because all their followers care about is bigotry (white Christian nationalism for straight people), lower taxes, owning the libs, and promoting fascism, none of which needs to be spelled out in a formal platform. The followers all get the message without any need to elaborate any of it.

Hot guy on dating site: "Hey let's meetup." Me: "Ok. How about Odenton?

waitingforgodo comments on Apr 22, 2022:

Lay back and imagine if you will the baritonic euphonic burbling. Odenton darling Odenton Thank you for meeting now and then Half way points to your total score But there's nothing for por favor You're unsure I want more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbqh4AXSIqg

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 23, 2022:

Nice adaptation of the lyrics...

New Rule: The War on Democracy | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO) - YouTube

Flyingsaucesir comments on Apr 23, 2022:

I love it! Wait....no, I hate it. 🤣 Truth is stranger than fiction. The truth, at least in this case, hurts.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 23, 2022:

Yup, not that much humor in it, it often reads more like a straight news report...

Alone with depression

Flyingsaucesir comments on Apr 22, 2022:

Do you absolutely have to live in Alabama? Maybe it's time for a move...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 22, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir I can't read what Triphid is saying to you, which is just as well, because I blocked him long ago, but my guess is you are wasting your time trying to get any useful or constructive points from him. Good luck, sir..

Alone with depression

Flyingsaucesir comments on Apr 22, 2022:

Do you absolutely have to live in Alabama? Maybe it's time for a move...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 22, 2022:

Moving as a middle-aged adult is very emotionally stressful, and not well-advised if the person has no friends already waiting for them in their new area. I think moving away for a better environment mostly depends on whether the person's current environment contains any emotional support from friends or some opportunities for support from groups the person has not already tried, as well as mental health services.

Alone with depression

ADKSparky comments on Apr 22, 2022:

I have a bit of experience with some of these issues. First, and this is most important, seek medical help for your anxiety and depression. There’s no shame in taking appropriate drugs. It might take a few tries to find the one(s) that work. As to friends, I can only tell you what I did to meet ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 22, 2022:

I echo all of your suggestions, and I both take meds and see a therapist.

Got my vaccines all caught up.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 22, 2022:

I had my second Covid booster about a week ago, and for some reason this time, unlike the other Covid shots, I felt bad for about two days, not just the arm pain and swelling, but also nausea and fatigue.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 22, 2022:

@EarnestEccentric Thanks for the validation. I appreciate knowing that I was not being a baby or maybe exaggerating my symptoms in my head. It's easy to do that when you're already depressed.

"Swipe the way you vote." Great timesaver.

BitFlipper comments on Apr 20, 2022:

All of my dating profiles begin "if you like Trump you won't like me."

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 22, 2022:

I'm about equally subtle. I mention that I supported Bernie twice, helps screen out not only Trumpers, but also neoliberal centrist Dems who support assholes like HIllary and Biden. I would find dating a supporter of corporate Dems almost as frustrating as dating a Trumper.

Satanists will sue PA school district for rejecting After School Satan Club

Flyingsaucesir comments on Apr 21, 2022:

If they allow Christian groups (e.g. The Fellowship of Christian Athletes, a group that met regularly in a school where I worked) then they should allow a Satanic group too. Fair's fair.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 21, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir I am not a gun owner, but if the time comes, I plan to be ready by then and have started hearing about plenty of lefties who are starting to buy guns and learn how to shoot, because they see the writing on the wall...

Satanists will sue PA school district for rejecting After School Satan Club

Flyingsaucesir comments on Apr 21, 2022:

If they allow Christian groups (e.g. The Fellowship of Christian Athletes, a group that met regularly in a school where I worked) then they should allow a Satanic group too. Fair's fair.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 21, 2022:

@Flyingsaucesir That is my fear, but, for the first time in my life, I have a potential war that seems worth getting out in the streets and fighting for. If it comes to that, I would rather be out there fighting these theocrat fascists in the streets than sitting at home waiting for them to eventually come and get me or take me away. Nothing before this has ever seemed worth risking my life for or worth fighting against. Not Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, or any of the other phony wars fought in my lifetime for corporate America.

Satanists will sue PA school district for rejecting After School Satan Club

Flyingsaucesir comments on Apr 21, 2022:

If they allow Christian groups (e.g. The Fellowship of Christian Athletes, a group that met regularly in a school where I worked) then they should allow a Satanic group too. Fair's fair.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 21, 2022:

Fair's fair, except to theocrats who are showing their true colors.... The mob was showing their frustration with how long it might take for them to move on to banishing all non-believers and burning heretics at the stake, like the good ole days.... Unfortunately, my city is full of ignoramous theocrats like that and the same kind of mob would show up here if someone tried to start a school Satanist club. In fact, a similar mob of MAGA types showed up at a school board meeting when the board voted to impose a mask mandate. The pricks were so smug and arrogant that one of them even threatened the board members, on camera, because they are also dumb as a rock, that they knew where they lived and would be stalking them. This was right in front of the cops that were there to provide security....

([dailykos.

Ryo1 comments on Apr 21, 2022:

Are there counterparts? I'm slightly intrigued... Actually, meh. Lol

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 21, 2022:

I suppose there are, but in general, from my observations, people on the left are more likely to believe in playing fair and telling the truth, at least those who are truly left and not loyal neoliberal, corporate DNC Dems, and frankly, it leaves progressives and true lefties at a tactical disadvantage when their opponents are shameless about lying and being ruthless. In that situation, being honest and fair is a huge disadvantage. I tire of socialists who, unlike me, wimp out and call themselves progressives because the word socialist has been defamed. Be honest about who you are and show some pride, instead of being a wimpy participant in the word scams. Same thing with people who are afraid of being labeled a liberal, tho that word should be a badge of shame to anyone who is truly progressive, since liberals these days, whether they are pols or voters, are always glad to sell out their working class lessers....

Hot guy on dating site: "Hey let's meetup." Me: "Ok. How about Odenton?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2022:

Where did you get this? Obviously such a guy is only interested in sex and a quick score, not any kind of dating relationship.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 21, 2022:

@UrsiMajor That's what they ought to say in the profiles, but don't. So you're saying some of them actually come out and say that in their profiles? I guess that shows the difference between the Midwest, where I live, and the coasts. Out here, the cultural norms are so conservative that women who are just out for casual sex from men put in their profiles that they are seeking "fun" from "adventurous" men and other such code words.....

Hot guy on dating site: "Hey let's meetup." Me: "Ok. How about Odenton?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2022:

Where did you get this? Obviously such a guy is only interested in sex and a quick score, not any kind of dating relationship.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 21, 2022:

@ASTRALMAX Apparently so, but that also means it must work for them at least some of or a lot of the time, which means there are plenty of women out there who will gladly oblige them just for their looks. And for that matter, on a related subject, for almost every cheating husband, etc. there is a woman who is morally flexible enough to knowingly engage in an affair with a man they know is married or partnered.... In other words, it takes more than one person with flexible standards for the tango to occur... And before anybody starts trying to bash me as being a misogynist, we all know this stuff goes both ways and that there are plenty of people of both sexes that cheat on their partners and have sex with people they know are in committed relationships. I am so sick of having to add this disclaimer to any general statement made about either gender, no matter how true we all know those statements to be.

Hot guy on dating site: "Hey let's meetup." Me: "Ok. How about Odenton?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 21, 2022:

Where did you get this? Obviously such a guy is only interested in sex and a quick score, not any kind of dating relationship.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 21, 2022:

@UrsiMajor So the above convo is you and this guy messaging on Ok Cupid?

Well, can't argue with Republican Jesus

Organist1 comments on Apr 19, 2022:

The one at the bottom should read "Do not kill unless they are non-white or liberal, or both".

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 20, 2022:

Or queer. Gay bashing is heartedly encouraged...

Trump’s Most Loyal Lawmakers Are Actually Losing Money

Organist1 comments on Apr 20, 2022:

I would imagine the wealthier donors moved on, and some of the more delusional poverty-stricken rubes are left to throw their $5 donations into the pot.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 20, 2022:

I'm sure there are still plenty of struggling rubes in my state throwing their $5 towards Trump. You can't fix stupid. They also keep voting for the other Repubs on the ballot in Iowa, as well as supporting book banning, oppressing queer and trans people, immigrants, public health measures against Covid, etc. In other words, they are still buying the whole culture wars agenda. It gives their useless lives meaning and makes them feel better and superior to others.

Well, can't argue with Republican Jesus

KKGator comments on Apr 19, 2022:

Have to say, if I get hit, I am definitely going to hit back harder.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 19, 2022:

@KKGator Yup, with many or most people that are bullies or assholes, hitting back is the only thing they understand or are deterred by. Plus, it allows you to keep your self respect. Letting yourself be victimized only erodes that.

Just remember, one of the most horrific terrorist attacks in the USA was committed by a homegrown ...

Flyingsaucesir comments on Apr 19, 2022:

I don't even have to look at the link. I remember very well his infamous name: Timothy McVeigh. And also his partner in crime, Terry Nichols. Rot them both, and the wacko militia-head ideologies they followed.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 19, 2022:

McVeigh was executed, Nichols is still rotting in prison.

Well, can't argue with Republican Jesus

KKGator comments on Apr 19, 2022:

Have to say, if I get hit, I am definitely going to hit back harder.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 19, 2022:

I agree, that turn the other cheek shit is for suckers and chumps....

Report: Senators and Former Staffers Say Dianne Feinstein Cannot Fulfill Her Duties – Mother Jones

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2022:

Another reason given to promote term limits is that it would reduce corruption and the bribery of campaign money, but I doubt term limits would change that. Anybody that wants to run for congress or president and win these days needs to sell their soul in advance in order to raise the money needed ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 19, 2022:

@JonnaBononna If that happened, suddenly the pols in DC would finally be responsive to the voters, instead of to their donors, as they are now. Only suckers and rubes still think otherwise, as countless studies have shown how unresponsive our federal pols are to what average Americans want on economic, environmental, tax, and foreign policy. So in the meantime, we get endless pitched battles in DC over culture wars stuff as a distraction.

Report: Senators and Former Staffers Say Dianne Feinstein Cannot Fulfill Her Duties – Mother Jones

JonnaBononna comments on Apr 19, 2022:

It says it all that the average age of Americans is 38 but the average age of the house is 57 and of the senate if 62.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 19, 2022:

In other words, our parents are still running everything. I didn't like it in my family, once I became an adult, and I don't think most adults do either.....

Here is a website for the more liberal minded.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2022:

I got my first four matches. One of them is in NJ, over a thousand miles away. Another is a woman from my state that used to be on Agnostic, long ago, and has probably been inactive on this other site as well for a long time. The Liberal Hearts site appears to give you no indication of which ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 18, 2022:

@itsmeagain I have no doubt that is true. We are only a tiny slice of the American population, only a couple %, and then even among that, only a fraction of those people are actually looking for a partner at any given time. So in the end, we are talking about a very small group of people who are secular and actively looking to date or find partners. Most of the other seculars are already taken or coupled, or possibly too old to still be looking for someone.

Here is a website for the more liberal minded.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2022:

I got my first four matches. One of them is in NJ, over a thousand miles away. Another is a woman from my state that used to be on Agnostic, long ago, and has probably been inactive on this other site as well for a long time. The Liberal Hearts site appears to give you no indication of which ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 18, 2022:

@itsmeagain I agree that many left because of negative feelings about the admin., but I think the other big reason, esp. with members from my state, is that that many members were only interested in finding local people to date, and they quickly figured out that would never be an option for them, at least not with Agnostic.com. So they left within months after they joined. In my state, there are only a few members who are above level three, because they left really soon after they joined, and never got involved in the community forums or groups.

Here is a website for the more liberal minded.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2022:

I got my first four matches. One of them is in NJ, over a thousand miles away. Another is a woman from my state that used to be on Agnostic, long ago, and has probably been inactive on this other site as well for a long time. The Liberal Hearts site appears to give you no indication of which ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 18, 2022:

@itsmeagain No indication either way, but she hasn't been active on Agnostic for almost four years, so I doubt she is active on LH. Three of the four matches are within an hour of me, one is very far away. I e-mailed LH and we'll see if they reply about my concerns on inactive profiles and how or if a paid member would be able to tell, from looking at the profile, who is active and who isn't. At least Match gives you a fairly good idea who is active and who isn't, even tho they keep tons of profiles up on their site for up to three years after they are inactive and they still turn up in searches.

Florida man guilty of killing wife, 3 kids and dog because he thought 'apocalypse was coming'

DenoPenno comments on Apr 17, 2022:

Apocalyptic beliefs. What does this mean? The end is coming so he assisted their murder. How could a person think that murdering you would be sparing you of anything? Then there is that dog. Dogs do not fit into biblical apocalyptic beliefs. Life in prison is good for this guy but I think they ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 17, 2022:

I am categorically against the death penalty, but otherwise I totally agree with you. Call me cruel, but I think letting him rot away in prison while all the while he never gets to meet Jesus or be raptured away like he had hoped, would be the most fitting punishment.

RNC Quits Commission on Presidential Debates : NPR

Retiredsteve comments on Apr 16, 2022:

That’s fine. Democrats don’t have to debate republicans. Any other political party can be in the debates. Makes it better in fact. Republicans will lose out.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 17, 2022:

Trust me, the neoliberal, corporate Dem candidates will refuse to debate anyone from a third party. The real mission of the Dem Party is to crush opposition from anyone to the left of them, not to be a real opposition party to the Repubs. People who watch them closely have figured it out, but most Americans are still sheeple and rubes who buy the posturing, culture war stuff, and identity politics from the Dems and think the two major parties are still really different.

RNC Quits Commission on Presidential Debates : NPR

racocn8 comments on Apr 16, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXt8D6N8WyQ

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 17, 2022:

I would like to see the Dem candidate debate a socialist third party candidate, but that would never be allowed by the Dems. I hate this guy's idea of catering to the Libertarians. I hate them even more than the Repubs.. I would just as soon see the Dem Party destroyed as the Repubs. We need more socialism, not more neoliberal Dems.

All the stuff listed below is true, and it's only the tip of the iceberg.

David1955 comments on Apr 12, 2022:

All that was true in 2016, and yet Americans voted for him. It was true in 2020, as well as his corruption and incompetence in office, yet 75 million voted for him again. We know what's wrong with Trump and what a lying fascist grifter he is. But those of us in the rest of the world would like to ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 13, 2022:

@David1955 You're wasting your time arguing with yvilletom. He's an ass who likes to troll. I blocked him long ago.

I don’t see what’s crazy about her…

glennlab comments on Apr 12, 2022:

Only six cats, I hope there is an expansion set to get her into some real numbers.

TomMcGiverin replies on Apr 12, 2022:

Six cats is just a starter set...