TomMcGiverin's Profile

I'm curious how many members here are still actively using real online dating sites or apps, such as...

JennyRad comments on Jan 16, 2022:

I did say that, although I think it would be a perfect time to really get to know someone via correspondence. I quit dating sites altogether because the last man I met on one was a stalker who put me in fear of my life. Now I'm rethinking it but the reason I'm rethinking it is because of COVID. The...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 16, 2022:

That is probably why the dating sites started offering free video chat thru the dating sites themselves during Covid and say they will continue to do so even after Covid might be over. That way people can take their time about meeting in person and still get some of the clues they normally get from in person meeting about the other person's looks, vibes, and physical attraction, etc.

I'm curious how many members here are still actively using real online dating sites or apps, such as...

HippieChick58 comments on Jan 16, 2022:

I am not actively on any dating sites. I stopped all that right after the pandemic started. There are too many anti maskers and science deniers out there, it is too great a risk for me right now. I don't know if I will ever go back on a dating site, just tooooooooo much BS, and I live in Nebraska, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 16, 2022:

I appreciate the comment, Paula, but I'm frankly more interested in a head count of how many are in the active user category.

According to lunatic Mike Lindell, 300 million Americans are going to jail for voter fraud.

FvckY0u comments on Jan 13, 2022:

I pity the fool

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 13, 2022:

I believe that was Mr. T's line, but I doubt he'd mind you borrowing it....

The Real Reasons Why Women Cheat -- by Feminista Jones The most common reason women cheat is ...

Sticks48 comments on Jan 12, 2022:

As usual, the the reason men do something is for a far less complicated reason than why women do it. No surprise there. 😁

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 12, 2022:

No surprise to me. In general, men are less complicated creatures than women, for better or worse.

'We're tired of watching people die': the 6 stages of critical COVID-19 care | Nebraska Medicine ...

dkp93 comments on Jan 12, 2022:

But jeez, it's so uncomfortable to wear a mask to go to the grocery store, and I just don't know what's in that vaccine. (Sarcasm, obvs. This is scary shit right here.)

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 12, 2022:

Finally have met someone who just lost a loved one to Covid. A friend whose brother in law and father of her niece just got Covid, developed pneumonia, was in critical condition in the hospital, then died. He was the same age as me, but had refused to get vaxed. He got what he deserved, but I do feel bad for his family, and told my friend so. She totally understood and agreed. She had already told me what a nutcase this guy was, a hoarder and a crazy cat man with a dozen cats.

LMAO!!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Got an email from a former client which said this : "WTF?

Druvius comments on Jan 10, 2022:

Well, the judge exercised ... poor judgement.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 10, 2022:

That's the dumbest move I've heard of since when Jerry Springer was an elected pol and he paid a prostitute with a personal check for her services..... Discretion only takes a bit of brains.....

"Financial Guru" Dave Ramsey to Landlord: Raising Rent Doesn't Make You a "Bad Christian"

DenoPenno comments on Jan 10, 2022:

One question in this whole mess is people that are dumb enough to say that they have had sex before marriage. If you did, why are you telling Dave Ramsey? Why are you telling others anyway? I once had a girlfriend in Texas who hit me with the sex question. For us to be an item, she said, I now have ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 10, 2022:

I agree that one's previous sexual history is not anyone's business, unless maybe it is relevant to whether they are presently on the same page as their current partner regarding monogamy and fidelity. If they are, then the only relevance in sharing about past sexual history is to discuss any ongoing diseases they may have or any issues regarding sexual dysfunction.

“Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice.

rainmanjr comments on Jan 9, 2022:

While I think it justified I do not think that it is yet warranted. That occurs only when life or liberty is directly threatened and immanent.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 10, 2022:

@rainmanjr Back at ya, block me or not, I really don't care....

“Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice.

rainmanjr comments on Jan 9, 2022:

While I think it justified I do not think that it is yet warranted. That occurs only when life or liberty is directly threatened and immanent.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 10, 2022:

@rainmanjr My statement stands. You can try to play the Jewish victim. anti-Semitism card with me, but I will not apologize, back down or rethink my statement. You are being selfish and if you don't like my criticism, you can shove it.

As I try to hold on to the positive thoughts of my lost last love and skirt the negative ones while ...

Wangobango3 comments on Jan 10, 2022:

I stay away from cheesy country music.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 10, 2022:

Amen. I fucking hate almost all country-poke music. For me it has the opposite effect of calming and comforting me, makes me want to smash things or gouge out my ears....

“Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice.

rainmanjr comments on Jan 9, 2022:

While I think it justified I do not think that it is yet warranted. That occurs only when life or liberty is directly threatened and immanent.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 10, 2022:

@rainmanjr So you're content to wait until the right starts coming after or oppressing white males like you? That sounds awful privileged and rather selfish, man. A bit like the Nazi Germany tale of how the good Germans sat back and let the Nazis take over, after persecuting everyone but the white Christian males, and then when they came after him, there was nobody to defend him.

1 year after the auto-coup attempt of the United States government.

KKGator comments on Jan 7, 2022:

Zero tolerance. Moderate restraint, UNLESS they try that shit again. If they do it again, wipe them out. I'm done.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 7, 2022:

@KKGator If they had started to be treated the same as BLM or antifa protesters, beginning right after Charlottsville, the insurrection never would have happened, because they would not have had the courage and conviction to attempt the insurrection. Until the authorities quit coddling them, both in judicial punishment and street punishment, they will not stop or back down. Why should they? Frankly, I think our leaders in both parties are too afraid of cracking down on them, because they know how much sympathy the fascists have in the ranks of cops and military, so they don't want to risk a mutiny if they crack down on these pricks.

Is it okay for a heterosexual married woman to have a heterosexual male friend?

Pralina1 comments on Jan 6, 2022:

Besides the meme which I vote for it 100%, Also , All my friends and buddies have always been mostly men . I communicate better with men , able to be direct / straight to the point / and we don’t have to compare clothing and make up .( besides my gay men friends ). I can’t see how that can ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 7, 2022:

@towkneed I have always been able to respect boundaries with female friends, whether they were married or simply single and not interested in me romantically. But it probably helps that my sex drive is lower than most men and also, unlike most men, it seems, I am not always on the make for sex with any woman that seems attractive or prone to assuming interest in me is there when it actually isn't. If anything, I am prone to assume the opposite.

GOP Lawmaker Tries to De-Pants Referee at Son’s High School Basketball Game

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 6, 2022:

Typical Repub pol, always a sore loser....

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 6, 2022:

@jlynn37 That too. They now think that any sort of loss on their part justifies violence. They are as undemocratic as it gets and prefer fascism to democracy, as long as their side holds power in it. Same way they favor theocracy, as long as the state religion is Christianity.

Works from the inside out.

Sticks48 comments on Jan 5, 2022:

It takes the whole package. I'm not looking for perfection, but l am looking for chemistry, and chemistry is inside and out. I'm not looking for a roommate, l'm looking for a lover and a friend.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 6, 2022:

Right on the money Larry, as always...

Why men are lonelier in America than elsewhere | The Economist

creative51 comments on Jan 5, 2022:

I am a man. I have lived by myself for roughly ten years. I do have friends, both male and female. However, I do not mind at all being by myself. I have many creative projects, music, photography, writing, which while I enjoy sharing with my friends, the actual creative process of these projects is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 6, 2022:

@Krish55 I am not taking it that way, Krish... Calm down and cut back on the caffeine.... My point still stands. In America, nobody becomes another's brother's keeper until the problem person begins harming others. We are not Europe in that sort of collective, socialist way...., much as I wish we were more that way as a society...

Why men are lonelier in America than elsewhere | The Economist

creative51 comments on Jan 5, 2022:

I am a man. I have lived by myself for roughly ten years. I do have friends, both male and female. However, I do not mind at all being by myself. I have many creative projects, music, photography, writing, which while I enjoy sharing with my friends, the actual creative process of these projects is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 6, 2022:

@KKGator I love it! Attending a right wing riot to get a date.... What happened to the days of free love of the Sixties and attending a left wing protest in order to find a sex partner or attending a meeting of Communists in the fifties to get a date? How far we have drifted to the right, lol...

Why men are lonelier in America than elsewhere | The Economist

creative51 comments on Jan 5, 2022:

I am a man. I have lived by myself for roughly ten years. I do have friends, both male and female. However, I do not mind at all being by myself. I have many creative projects, music, photography, writing, which while I enjoy sharing with my friends, the actual creative process of these projects is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 6, 2022:

@Krish55 I can't and won't argue with that. No doubt many people who say they are fine living alone are in denial about their problems and have bizarre behavior. But unless it affects other people, they have the right to live that way and be left alone in America, where we revere rugged individualism and individual liberty, while scoffing at mental hygiene and adequate mental health services being provided to all.

Why men are lonelier in America than elsewhere | The Economist

creative51 comments on Jan 5, 2022:

I am a man. I have lived by myself for roughly ten years. I do have friends, both male and female. However, I do not mind at all being by myself. I have many creative projects, music, photography, writing, which while I enjoy sharing with my friends, the actual creative process of these projects is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 5, 2022:

@Krish55 Quite true, whether it's a professional sports team, Trumpism, or even Team Blue Dem Party loyalty, these things bring together otherwise lonely, alienated people and makes them feel better about themselves and about their existence in general.

Why men are lonelier in America than elsewhere | The Economist

creative51 comments on Jan 5, 2022:

I am a man. I have lived by myself for roughly ten years. I do have friends, both male and female. However, I do not mind at all being by myself. I have many creative projects, music, photography, writing, which while I enjoy sharing with my friends, the actual creative process of these projects is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 5, 2022:

@Krish55, @KKGator Good point. Only the individual can decide for themselves if being alone is a good thing or not for them in particular.

Why men are lonelier in America than elsewhere | The Economist

creative51 comments on Jan 5, 2022:

I am a man. I have lived by myself for roughly ten years. I do have friends, both male and female. However, I do not mind at all being by myself. I have many creative projects, music, photography, writing, which while I enjoy sharing with my friends, the actual creative process of these projects is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 5, 2022:

@Krish55 There does appear to be a societal problems of loneliness, and it affects both genders, men more so than women, as our society becomes more tribal and atomized. We have lost most of our social capital from the old days.

Why men are lonelier in America than elsewhere | The Economist

racocn8 comments on Jan 5, 2022:

Yeah, like women are emotionally competent... Is that by virtue of experience? "Dr Garfield observes that two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women..." I'm amazed it's that low. Divorce nearly always benefits the woman. No-fault my ass.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 5, 2022:

@racocn8 Totally agree. If we require a license for driving, in order to reduce mayhem and harm caused to others by reckless or incompetent drivers, we need the same for singles who wreak emotional havoc on others thru their terrible relationship behavior. Otherwise, our only protections from it are Buyer Beware, Everyone Look Out For Themselves, or choosing to be terminally single.

Next question: Any success stories between people on this site?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 2, 2022:

There have been a few, but I believe they were all long distance relationships, at least to start. The membership is so sparse and scattered that only a few areas of the US offer any real opportunities for local dating. And those tend to be located in either New England or the PNW, where there are ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 4, 2022:

@JennyRad To me it depends on if the other person is vaxed and how much they are isolating. If they are vaxed and so are you, you have little to worry about as far as serious illness or dying from getting Covid. Suit yourself, as I said. Yes, the Omnicron variant is very contagious and spreading rapidly, but for those who are vaxed, it is not causing serious illness or death.

Next question: Any success stories between people on this site?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 2, 2022:

There have been a few, but I believe they were all long distance relationships, at least to start. The membership is so sparse and scattered that only a few areas of the US offer any real opportunities for local dating. And those tend to be located in either New England or the PNW, where there are ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 4, 2022:

@JennyRad A few years is nothing. I was assuming you were talking about ten years or more younger. As far as waiting on Covid to have sex, suit yourself, but I think that may seem unreasonable to most people in the current dating game.

Right now I am very grateful that we live out here in the middle of nowhere, my mom happens to be ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 4, 2022:

You live in NM. Just curious, how far away does she live? I assume it's another one of those Agnostic LD relationships, where eventually one of you will have to move.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 4, 2022:

@azzow2 Then with that history, there is no need to wait on living together then.

Right now I am very grateful that we live out here in the middle of nowhere, my mom happens to be ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 4, 2022:

You live in NM. Just curious, how far away does she live? I assume it's another one of those Agnostic LD relationships, where eventually one of you will have to move.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 4, 2022:

@azzow2 I wish you the best, but be careful, for both of your sakes. I suppose NM would be an improvement, culturally, from NC, depending where she is in NC. Personally, I would want to date LD for a year before trying to live with somebody.

Next question: Any success stories between people on this site?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 2, 2022:

There have been a few, but I believe they were all long distance relationships, at least to start. The membership is so sparse and scattered that only a few areas of the US offer any real opportunities for local dating. And those tend to be located in either New England or the PNW, where there are ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 4, 2022:

@JennyRad You'll never know unless you try. Since they are younger, just be careful that they are neither just horny guys out to get easy sex from older women they assume are lonely, or else men with a mother complex. You seem sharp enough to be able to pick up on either type.

Now that is attitude.

HippieChick58 comments on Jan 2, 2022:

I don't think that Kristy Brinkley is all that fabulous. I also think that physical beauty is primarily luck and genetics. **Who** we are is what makes us truly beautiful, and that is a result of who we are, how we act, what we think and do. I don't take it as a compliment when someone who has never...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 2, 2022:

That is a very healthy attitude, Paula.

Stop Calling Women Nags — How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality

JennyRad comments on Jan 2, 2022:

This was my absolute favorite thing about my ex-husband and my ex-SO: Me when I needed help: When you have a minute could you please [do whatever]? Them when they needed help: Drop whatever it is you're doing and help me because whatever you're doing can't be as important as this! I love ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 2, 2022:

@JennyRad I get it.

Stop Calling Women Nags — How Emotional Labor is Dragging Down Gender Equality

JennyRad comments on Jan 2, 2022:

This was my absolute favorite thing about my ex-husband and my ex-SO: Me when I needed help: When you have a minute could you please [do whatever]? Them when they needed help: Drop whatever it is you're doing and help me because whatever you're doing can't be as important as this! I love ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 2, 2022:

It's really sad to hear that someone soured you that much on men and relationships, but I don't doubt the truth of it one bit.

My dating profile says I'm liberal and that Trump followers need not apply.

racocn8 comments on Dec 31, 2021:

Why the push back? Pick a reason: 1. Trumpers are all about being a Karen - - bullying and trying to be belligerent. 2. Most single male Trumpers are Incels - - they hate women and think they should be provided women to rape. 3. Trumpers are psychotic - - they are evangelicals who have ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 31, 2021:

As usual, you nailed it, Howard, and covered all the bases about them.

My dating profile says I'm liberal and that Trump followers need not apply.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 31, 2021:

I have heard from many women on Match in my area that they get nasty comments all the time from Trumper men who see their profile and presume to criticize them for being liberal, even tho the men are not interested in dating them. Typical Trumper arrogance, rather than minding their own business and...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 31, 2021:

@JennyRad My suggestion is to do what some of these women told me they did, namely to report these assholes to the dating site for harassment or inappropriate behavior. They are not likely to get kicked off the site for it, but they will probably get a nastygram warning e-mail from the site's customer care staff, if you feel like playing tit for tat with them on having insulted you.

My dating profile says I'm liberal and that Trump followers need not apply.

HippieChick58 comments on Dec 31, 2021:

Girl, you live in Kentucky, I don't have much hope for your prospects. My first ex husband was from Kentucky and likely still lives there. The few days I spent in Kentucky were an awakening. I was 19, and even at that tender age I knew something was seriously wrong with those people I had this ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 31, 2021:

@JennyRad I think that is very true. Most of Trump's supporters live in rural America, with the exception of rich people and greedhead wannabees ( as in wannabe rich) that live in urban areas.

My dating profile says I'm liberal and that Trump followers need not apply.

HippieChick58 comments on Dec 31, 2021:

Girl, you live in Kentucky, I don't have much hope for your prospects. My first ex husband was from Kentucky and likely still lives there. The few days I spent in Kentucky were an awakening. I was 19, and even at that tender age I knew something was seriously wrong with those people I had this ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 31, 2021:

States like KY or the deep South make me grateful that even backward, red state Iowa is not as bad as those places.

Hell, at this point I expect red states will just get rid of public schools altogether.

dkp93 comments on Dec 27, 2021:

Just homeschool your future drains-on-society if you think books are so freaking evil.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 27, 2021:

That's exactly what many of the morons are already doing...

'Go in peace': US church founded in 1800 holds last service A central Pennsylvania church with a ...

Sticks48 comments on Dec 26, 2021:

Maybe they will use the building for something really useful, like a bar.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 27, 2021:

@Sticks48 So true.

Liz Cheney just 'let the cat out of the bag' about the possibility of a criminal referral coming for...

BufftonBeotch comments on Dec 27, 2021:

Trump made a huge mistake making an enemy of that family.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 27, 2021:

@BufftonBeotch Compared to Dick Cheney, the evil Dr. Strangelove of the Bush admin., when it comes to being an evil genius, Trump is a mere amateur......

The Capitol Police can now call the National Guard themselves, circumventing what Trump did to them ...

Druvius comments on Dec 26, 2021:

Boy, mixed feelings about this. There have been reports lately that the delays were deliberate because the Pentagon feared Trump would use calling up the National Guard as justification for declaring some sort of state of national emergency and making the insurrection all the worse. Scary times ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 27, 2021:

I heard about that too. Damned if you do, damned if you don't......

'Go in peace': US church founded in 1800 holds last service A central Pennsylvania church with a ...

Sticks48 comments on Dec 26, 2021:

Maybe they will use the building for something really useful, like a bar.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 27, 2021:

Bars serve, for drinkers and alcoholics, many of the same functions as churches. A place to spend their money, commune with like-minded souls and find community and a social network, etc. For many the rituals of drinking and getting drunk are as sacred, to them, as anything that happens in a church is to its members.

Curiosity

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 24, 2021:

Because they figure the man is already attractive to someone, has curb appeal, in other words. And they know he will likely never want a commitment from them. Then there are the women who actually want a permanent relationship with married men and suffer the illusion they will leave their wives. All...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 24, 2021:

@Onetank78 You're probably right, judgmental types like me are the last ones they'd tell, plus, I know very few single women these days, except from dating sites, so they aren't really personal friends who would confide in me anyway.

Hi Sorry to bother you all But here I go.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 19, 2021:

Like usual, all I can say is rotsa ruck....

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 23, 2021:

@RiturajRao87 It is an offhand way of saying " Lots of luck" or good luck with that....

The Red Pill Movement is a movement in the same way a bowel movement is a movement.

KateOahu comments on Dec 17, 2021:

Gaslighting by any other name still stinks. “Mens’ Rights”? More like whiney little boys who are afraid they can’t be first in line anymore.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 23, 2021:

@Toonman Call me whatever you like, as if I care. I see no false equivalency in simply pointing out that in the dating game, which is actually very competitive, whether people choose to recognize that or not, having the qualities that are generally being sought by the other sex is crucial to being chosen by the other sex and succeeding in finding a partner. Women and men are much the same in how they approach the dating and mating game, in general. The only differences I see is that men are focused mainly on looks in choosing a partner, while women are mainly focused on looks and money/status. The other difference is that women, in general, are more open than men are to choosing a partner that is not conventionally good looking. I'm done with you and if you choose to continue criticizing me, I will block you. I never said that women are the same as men in the ways you are saying, as far as alienation, sense of entitlement, lack of understanding of themselves, blaming others instead of themselves, altho I will tell you, I have met plenty of divorced women from Match who seem to blame everyone but themselves, as in the men they chose, for their relationships failing. I also never denied that women as a group or class have been oppressed. You assume an awful lot about me that I never said here on this thread. Maybe you are the asshole, not me, in doing so.

The Red Pill Movement is a movement in the same way a bowel movement is a movement.

KateOahu comments on Dec 17, 2021:

Gaslighting by any other name still stinks. “Mens’ Rights”? More like whiney little boys who are afraid they can’t be first in line anymore.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 23, 2021:

@Toonman How am I making a false equivalency or being an asshole with my comment?

Hi Sorry to bother you all But here I go.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 19, 2021:

Like usual, all I can say is rotsa ruck....

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 23, 2021:

@RiturajRao87 I am not joking and there is nothing racist about my comment. Get over your paranoia and snowflakeness.

The Red Pill Movement is a movement in the same way a bowel movement is a movement.

KateOahu comments on Dec 17, 2021:

Gaslighting by any other name still stinks. “Mens’ Rights”? More like whiney little boys who are afraid they can’t be first in line anymore.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 22, 2021:

@Toonman I have chatted with a lot of men and women about the dating and mating games, and heard from both genders that they often feel they get passed up in the games because they are too much of a "nice guy/nice gal", when the reality seems to be that both genders are still very much hung up or focused on looks and money/status, etc. as far as women's focus, and on looks regarding men's focus. And thus it has always been, probably based on primitive instincts and motivations. Incels have not added anything new to change those mindsets with either of the genders, so, as racocn8 noted above, problems between the sexes will always exist. The cold, hard reality for either gender that keeps getting passed up in the competition of the games, is that they are lacking in the things the other gender is looking for in a dating or life partner, and until they improve their competitive status in those areas, they will continue to get passed over. Such is life.

True then and now

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 21, 2021:

That's why they call it wage slavery. The modern version is much like old time slavery, except that it's more a form of neo-feudalism, and the slaves are free to leave, and thus be homeless and starving. They are not formal property of anyone, but if they do not participate in the wage slavery, they...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 21, 2021:

@mischl Thanks.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 18, 2021:

@mischl You're a man after my own heart! I have always been reflexively honest my whole adult life and I have never felt a need to apologize for it. While it has kept me from ever being popular, I've never cared, because I have always been able to make and keep a solid group of several loyal friends, so I don't need popularity or even being liked by most people. But it does cost me in the dating game, and that gets frustrating.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 18, 2021:

@HippieChick58 Well, unfortunately for me, the women in my local dating pool on Match think the opposite way. To them, only family men with kids need apply for dating them. And there's really nothing I can do about it. My therapist says I should hide my being childless until the woman asks or brings it up, like I said in another comment, that I should just leave that trait unanswered in my dating profile. What do you think of that, Paula?

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 18, 2021:

@HippieChick58 But, believe it or not, Paula, I also get rejected on this even by some women who DON'T have kids. My theory is that they are hedging their bets against old age, hoping to meet a guy whose kids will comfort and look after her when she gets old if she survives him. Think that might be it, Paula?

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@HippieChick58 And when you think of it in cold, hard, financial terms, a woman ought to be tickled to date a man like me who has no kids and is financially secure and comfortable. I am hardly material for golddiggers, but currently all of my estate goes to four of my friends if I die. And if a woman develops a good partnership with me, I will gladly put her in my will as my chief heir, even if I don't get married. Could greatly improve the financial condition of many women in that case, if they survived me. And also, if the partnership lasted, say a decade or more, I might even include her kids as secondary heirs if she died before me and then me sometime after her. So, when you add it all up, there is some good incentive, at least financially, for a woman with kids and even for her kids later on possibly, to be dating a man who is not set up to leave all his money to his kids if he dies first. But, I doubt many women with kids who reject me ever think any of this shit thru thoroughly at all.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@HippieChick58 I agree with you on that Paula, but in my case, I think the reasons women in my dating pool here, even those without kids, reject me on that issue either because it is so uncommon or non-conformist that they think I must be a real oddball to not have kids, or it could be pure self protection and defensiveness that they assume I hate kids, want to isolate them from their family and kids, or lack the empathy to understand how important their kids and grandkids are to them. All of these things are signs of the women lacking good empathy and emotional health and never having had any much needed therapy after their divorce. So I pay the price for their dysfunction, lack of awareness and close-mindedness. Yes, I am dodging many bullets, but I still get sick of all the rejection and lack of good prospects.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@azzow2 Well, we weren't really friends, just two guys on Agnostic that connected and messaged. I think he was hoping I would join him at a bar and maybe be a wingman for him with single women, at least I sort of picked up that vibe, and maybe he changed his mind after thinking I wasn't suitable for the role.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@BufftonBeotch Lori- I checked your profile and your looks are fine, I would want to meet you if we lived close by each other. But you have a point, looks are the wild card that is usually a factor in online dating rejection, but it's the one trait that nobody is ever willing to talk about or admit it when they reject someone on that basis. Even I, the king of bluntness and honesty, won't tell a woman that is the reason, unless she asks me, then I will be truthful. And even then, most women get mad at me for being honest or rejecting them on that trait. So, you can't win either way, and keeping that reason to yourself is usually best. We all reject people on that issue and nobody I know is proud of it.

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@azzow2 If you lived closer to me, I would definitely take you up on it. There was a black guy who lived two hours away, in a city where I would visit my dad every month while he was still alive, that would message with me on here and suggest we meet when I was in his town, but when I finally took him up on it and let him know when I would be in town, he ghosted me for good...

This should be the slogan of mature dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2021:

True, but you wouldn't believe how much of a price I pay in the dating game with being non-conformist compared to the vast majority of my local dating pool on Match. I end up meeting in person only about one or two new women each month, because I keep getting rejected for the usual three reasons: ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 17, 2021:

@azzow2 It's all about location, culture, and what values the opposite sex has been indoctrinated with regarding kids and family. I live in the Midwest, and here, the old farmer mentality is alive and well in the women who grew up here and dominate the local dating pool for me. To them, family and kids are everything, even tho that is so outdated, with very few people still living on farms and even those on farms no longer need big families to do the farm work because of machinery that replaced labor on farms.

About Three-in-Ten U.S. Adults Are Now Religiously Unaffiliated | Pew Research Center

Druvius comments on Dec 16, 2021:

So these are the people who will end up in reChristification camps when Trump and the GOP seize power? ;)

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 16, 2021:

I'll die before I would let them send me to one of those. It would be like going to hell without dying first.

About Three-in-Ten U.S. Adults Are Now Religiously Unaffiliated | Pew Research Center

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 15, 2021:

It doesn't give breakdowns by age groups, but I assume that religiosity goes down lower with each younger age group.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 16, 2021:

@oc_jen Thanks Jen, that link worked. The article appears to support my guess that religiosity does seem to be lower with lower age, but it also supports another idea of mine that it does not necessarily mean that overall religiosity is getting lower around the world, since the article points out that the areas of the world with greater overall religiosity have higher birthrates and younger populations. In other words, the more religious parts of the world have younger populations, who breed in greater numbers and frequency than less religious parts of the world. So overall, we are not going to see a worldwide decline in religiosity anytime soon with this disparity in population age and breeding between religious countries and secular countries.

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

Canndue comments on Dec 15, 2021:

While I’m compassionate enough to forgive mistakes, judges must be held to a much higher standard than others, after all there job is sentence others for their mistakes

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

My late father was a judge for almost all of his legal career and he was keenly aware of this need to be above reproach in his personal life, because of his position.

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

JonnaBononna comments on Dec 15, 2021:

Also, as a resident of Louisiana, I have to say, "Of course, Louisiana...." 🤦‍♀️ Not too many years ago we had a justice of the peace who refused to marry an interracial couple, and when called out for his racism, said he couldn't possibly be racist because he not only has black friends, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

@JonnaBononna Yup, having some exceptions doesn't prove a thing. Who you ally with politically and financially does.

About Three-in-Ten U.S. Adults Are Now Religiously Unaffiliated | Pew Research Center

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 15, 2021:

It doesn't give breakdowns by age groups, but I assume that religiosity goes down lower with each younger age group.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

@oc_jen The first and third links did not work. Could you simply share a quick summary of what the surveys found regarding differences in religious affiliation by age group?

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

JonnaBononna comments on Dec 15, 2021:

Also, as a resident of Louisiana, I have to say, "Of course, Louisiana...." 🤦‍♀️ Not too many years ago we had a justice of the peace who refused to marry an interracial couple, and when called out for his racism, said he couldn't possibly be racist because he not only has black friends, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

Well doesn't all of that generosity and tolerance qualify him as a great humanitarian and lover of all black folks? Snark! Lots of racists are willing to make some "exceptions", for minority members they feel are "better behaved" or more "acceptable" in their appearance, social or economic standing, etc. Doesn't change the white person from being racist or a general asshole...

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

Beachslim7 comments on Dec 15, 2021:

Where's your outrage when al Sharpton calls you a cracker?

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

@Beachslim7 You are an asshole and I am blocking you. Just writing it here for the rest of the group to see.

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

Beachslim7 comments on Dec 15, 2021:

Where's your outrage when al Sharpton calls you a cracker?

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

@JonnaBononna They "don't get it" either because they don't want to get it, or they are oblivious to their white privilege.

Judge wants ‘forgiveness and understanding’ after she’s caught on video calling suspect N-word

Beachslim7 comments on Dec 15, 2021:

Where's your outrage when al Sharpton calls you a cracker?

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 15, 2021:

@JonnaBononna Exactly, when someone with no power to harm another behaves in a racist manner, it amounts to simple prejudice. When someone with power and privilege, due to their race and position of power does the same thing, it carries weight and can cause real harm to someone who is a minority group.

I had taken my kids to the convenience store today after school.

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 14, 2021:

In a word, NO. The reason is that I have issues with authority and have had my whole life, while they are all about embracing and being authority, so there is a big values mismatch. They also tend to be politically conservative, again, the opposite of me, and also frequently racist as well. Same ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 14, 2021:

@azzow2 Suit yourself. I just know what works for me and what doesn't, as far as compatibility.

I had taken my kids to the convenience store today after school.

GoodMan comments on Dec 14, 2021:

“Absofreakinglutely” as long as she looks at least half as good as her, and isn’t stupid in the head.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 14, 2021:

Even great looks are not enough for me if the woman's personality or values suck. I am not into casual sex, but suit yourself, everybody's different.

Personal restraint is valuable in the age of ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 13, 2021:

I do believe she is engaging in the human female equivalent of some kind of exotic bird displaying their plummage and sticking out their genitals in order to attract a mate, or something of that order. Personally, I am more of a breast man than an ass man, but I can see where the guy in the suit ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 14, 2021:

@whiskywoman Well, the jury has spoken. I am agreeing with you and Bob that she is knowingly being provocative.

Personal restraint is valuable in the age of ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 13, 2021:

I do believe she is engaging in the human female equivalent of some kind of exotic bird displaying their plummage and sticking out their genitals in order to attract a mate, or something of that order. Personally, I am more of a breast man than an ass man, but I can see where the guy in the suit ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 14, 2021:

@bobwjr Now, I agree with you there, but you run the risk of being labeled a misogynist, in today's political climate, if you suggest that she might be anything but an innocent victim if the man behind her grabbed her ass, for example, or said something lewd to her.

Here’s Why Secular Morality Is Better for the Country | Hemant Mehta | Friendly Atheist | Patheos

QuidamOutrepont comments on Dec 13, 2021:

That's what we're trying to do in Quebec. But because of that, the rest of Canada is calling us racists and fascists.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 13, 2021:

@QuidamOutrepont So, as I am an ignorant, but curious, American, please explain to me what is going on in Quebec these days that is getting them so much heat from other quarters in Canada?

I went to see these two Exotic Shorthairs (ESHs) that somehow ended up in a shelter.

dalefvictor comments on Dec 13, 2021:

Cats can be full of love and kindness. I think they give far more than they ask. Age is one thing, many do not want to adopt them as they will pass soon. We get them and love them as they may not be able to love us for as long as a younger cat, but it does make a great difference for them.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 13, 2021:

As a widowed, partnerless human who now is far past middle age, I can relate to and sympathize for the poor older cats. We all need and want someone to love us for the rest of our time on this rock, even if we are likely to die before them.

Here’s Why Secular Morality Is Better for the Country | Hemant Mehta | Friendly Atheist | Patheos

QuidamOutrepont comments on Dec 13, 2021:

That's what we're trying to do in Quebec. But because of that, the rest of Canada is calling us racists and fascists.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 13, 2021:

Are you saying that Quebec is trying to temper or lessen the influence of the Catholic church there, and that that is causing the rest of the country to see them as fascist and racist? I say this because I have always heard that the province is heavily made up of French Canadian Catholics.

Marching for stupid.

UrsiMajor comments on Dec 11, 2021:

I have a libertarian antivax friend who racked up a 250k covid bill from being ventilated in a hospital over a month. Tricare will foot the bill. She and her husband have learned nothing. They will not get vaxed or mask up.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 12, 2021:

Let them pay and let them die, respectively, as they are costing other lives and bleeding our health system dry of resources. Other people are more deserving of money and resources in the health system. Health care is a public good and recognized as such in other more civilized, fair countries in the world. In the US, it is purposefully expensive and limited, so the greedy can profit as much as possible. Funny how your hypocritical Libertarian friend is totally against government provided health care and other social programs, as well as taxes, but is perfectly fine with letting Tricare foot her bill. Too bad she doesn't live in Singapore, then she would get what she deserves.

A majority of Americans are critical of religious exemptions to Covid vaccines, a survey finds.

RussRAB comments on Dec 10, 2021:

These religious resisters will claim a religious exemption and look to the courts to protect them. They will do exactly what they rail against other religious minorities doing when they have tried to impose their religious traditions on these other minority groups of people. Democracy is ok only if ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 11, 2021:

True, they are shameless fucking hypocrites...

I had a wall around my heart for a very long time.

glennlab comments on Dec 9, 2021:

You can't swim unless you are will to get in the water. You may not drown on dry land, but you'll never know the joy of splashing around.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 9, 2021:

@bookofmorons Good for you, but those kind of informal opportunities don't happen and aren't going to happen for me with women who have dropped out of the dating scene. I don't have a pet, or grandkids, or any of the other props that allow people like you and her to informally meet. And I am not going to waste my time informally staking out interest groups, like Julie from Hawaii here on Agnostic does, or hang around the Unitarian church every Sunday hoping in vain to meet women there either that will not join dating sites. It's either dating sites or nothing, it will either work for me or it won't. As far as I'm concerned, women like Julie or others, like your lady friend, who are too insecure to handle dating sites and formal dating avenues, are too insecure and weak for me, and not a compatible match. My late wife was strong and independent, and I want that again, not someone who has to be coddled to get her comfortable enough to get to know me and go out with me. Online dating is certainly not for the faint of heart, but my hunch is that most women who need to be coddled to meet them informally and get to know them that way, are probably not emotionally strong and tough enough to handle the ups and downs of an LTR, esp. as both people cope with aging and decline.

I had a wall around my heart for a very long time.

glennlab comments on Dec 9, 2021:

You can't swim unless you are will to get in the water. You may not drown on dry land, but you'll never know the joy of splashing around.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 9, 2021:

True. There are so many singles, both in and out of the dating game, that are still very guarded and afraid of opening up emotionally to anyone and trying to love again. Some so much they will not even try to date again, and others that continue to sign up for dating sites, but then put up so many walls against other people that they either drive them away or reject everyone who might be compatible and good for them, due to their unconcious desire to protect themselves and avoid connection with possible hurt or disappointment with others. These people are easy to spot, at least for me, in the dating game, but so many people are clueless about themselves and others as to what is going on emotionally with other singles in the dating game. And, as a widowed man, what's really frustrating is that there are many more women than men that have chosen to drop out of the dating game, and go it alone the rest of their lives. Unfortunately for me, those women often tend to be the most emotionally healthy ones, who are offbeat, educated, independent, and strong, the same qualities as my late wife. But I will never have a chance to date them, since they have self-selected to sit it out, not that I blame them, with how mismatched they are from the mostly dysfunctional mainstream men that make up the vast majority of the dating pool in my area. So my best prospects for compatibility are not even in the game and I am forced, like them, to either go it alone till I die, or take my chances with the mostly dysfunctional, emotionally closed mainstream women who make up most of my dating pool and are not very compatible for me. It is maddening and I often dream in my sleep about being able to find another compatible life partner and permanently retire from the dating game.

Kitty caroling

OldGoat43 comments on Dec 9, 2021:

That tree looks like it's on fire.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 9, 2021:

The cat probably started it..

Iowa: Criminalizing Books and Arresting Teachers and Librarians

Druvius comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I fled Iowa just in time.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 9, 2021:

@Druvius Yup, its says Oregon now, so it worked. If I had the money and was willing to move, you are probably living where I would want to be.

Iowa: Criminalizing Books and Arresting Teachers and Librarians

racocn8 comments on Dec 9, 2021:

Truly, the country of the blind. Religious kooks: inmates running the asylum. Can we just drop a bomb on them so we don't have the shame of being the same species? Yikes! That's what happens when the psychopathy that generates shamelessness run amok and you have a whole population of immoral ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 9, 2021:

Unfortunately, that bomb would also kill me and other decent people on the left. There are a lot of us here in Iowa, but unfortunately, we are still outnumbered, and will be for a while longer, until more of the mostly older rural voters die off or move away from Iowa. Until then, they hold just enough of a numerical advantage that they hold control of the legislature and any statewide elected offices. They have about a 5% advantage that holds up every time, no matter how high the Dems run up the score in the urban areas.

Iowa: Criminalizing Books and Arresting Teachers and Librarians

Druvius comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I fled Iowa just in time.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 8, 2021:

@Druvius Then you might want to change your location from Clear Lake, IA, but, suit yourself...

Iowa: Criminalizing Books and Arresting Teachers and Librarians

Druvius comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I fled Iowa just in time.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 8, 2021:

I hear you. The only reasons I don't move to Minneapolis is I hate the idea of even colder winters, and the fact that all of my longtime friends, and thus my whole support system, live here around Des Moines. Otherwise, I too would have fled to a blue state that was also more diverse. BTW, your profile still says you live in Clear Lake, up near the border. Did you forget to edit it?

How to atheists return to religion? I don't understand

Julie808 comments on Dec 8, 2021:

I think atheists sometimes join a church, not out of belief in the scripture but out of need to feel a belonging, part of a group and loved unconditionally by others. My ex-husband was atheist when I met him, his family all very religious, but he was not. We raised our kids atheist, and they ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 8, 2021:

I agree with you about people joining churches, despite a lack of belief, just to have community, somewhere to belong, and to be loved unconditionally by others. How else do you explain Unitarian churches, where there is no theistic belief, at least among the vast majority of its members? They join for the reasons above, as well as intellectual stimulation and somewhere to get some form of religious education for their kids. Another reason people who don't believe in religion join churches is the extreme social pressure, esp. in the South and Midwest, to join one or else face suspicion and ostracizism for being abberrant, odd or whatever....

Republican Triggered By Uppity Blacks In TV Commercial.

BufftonBeotch comments on Dec 6, 2021:

But they also hated, with the blazing fury of a thousand suns, the Cheerios commercial with the mixed race family. So....? I don't give a shit if they hate things. Do you?

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 6, 2021:

Butthurt,, racist snowflakes....

Atheists are viewed as less desirable romantic partners, study finds

Sorcha comments on Dec 5, 2021:

I have sometimes wondered if having my non belief in my dating profile is an issue. But then I realized it is a good filter.