TomMcGiverin's Profile

What I find so strange is that in a native culture the greedy people would be chastised and vilified...

LenHazell53 comments on Dec 3, 2021:

Capitalists call it communism Republicans call it socialism Imperialists call it savagery The religious call it paradise but claim you cannot have it until after you are dead So called "uncivilized" peoples call it being human.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 3, 2021:

They try to scare you and make you fear what is actually good for you and bad for them.

WTF Podcast - Jane Fonda

snytiger6 comments on Dec 2, 2021:

I think most self described feminists are for human rights and equality.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@rainmanjr Sounds like you favor a very fuzzy, generic type of reform effort, and it also, to me, smacks of a Libertarian slant on being against regulation of centers of power, such as business or government intrusion into civil liberties. I find your viewpoint suspicious, like you are saying you are for equality for all, but you don't want any of the advocacy groups that history has proved are necessary in order to get reform or equal rights. Reminds me of business groups that Astro-Turf or Greenwash in their PR campaigns.

WTF Podcast - Jane Fonda

snytiger6 comments on Dec 2, 2021:

I think most self described feminists are for human rights and equality.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@rainmanjr Considering how in 50 years, misogynistic Christian males have been able to take away abortion rights from women, I wouldn't be too worried about losing my or your privilege as a white male. If anything, women are still way behind men in their individual rights.

WTF Podcast - Jane Fonda

snytiger6 comments on Dec 2, 2021:

I think most self described feminists are for human rights and equality.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@rainmanjr What are you so afraid of, man?

Voter Registration Around the World Excerpts: The United States is one of few democratic ...

nicestuff comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Here is a more recent article. "In the U.S., more so than in most any other OECD nation, registration may be an additional barrier to voting. Obviously, voters need to be registered, but it’s difficult to explain how 30 percent of eligible voters are not registered without concluding that the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@nicestuff Fuck your settling for incremental progress. Yes, women couldn't vote a century ago, and now, in fifty years, they have gone from getting abortion rights to now having them taken away. They got the vote, then got control of their bodies, and now have lost it. Meanwhile, men still have full control of their bodies, including not having to wear masks or get vaxed for Covid. It's time for being radical or just giving up, as time is too short, esp. with the environment, to wait on incremental change. Same with health care, waiting decades for single payer while meanwhile Medicare is being killed with Medicare Advantage plans...

Voter Registration Around the World Excerpts: The United States is one of few democratic ...

nicestuff comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Here is a more recent article. "In the U.S., more so than in most any other OECD nation, registration may be an additional barrier to voting. Obviously, voters need to be registered, but it’s difficult to explain how 30 percent of eligible voters are not registered without concluding that the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@nicestuff Nope, won't do it. That would be playing their game and instead, I would rather keep trying to raise the awareness of others. Just playing their game means surrendering the class war. Are you proud of yourself for doing that?

WTF Podcast - Jane Fonda

TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 2, 2021:

How is it you are for human rights and equality and are also not a feminist? Seems to be a contradiction.

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 2, 2021:

@rainmanjr I have him blocked, so that comment is not available to me.

Marcus Lamb, founder of Christian network Daystar and vaccine opponent, dies after contracting ...

JosephS comments on Dec 1, 2021:

How many more will it take for these people to get a clue?

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 1, 2021:

Apparently several hundred thousand Americans dead from Covid is not convincing enough evidence. Maybe an even million, which we will hit sometime next year, will be enough. More likely most of these idiots won't wise up until a friend or loved one directly in their life dies or is hospitalized from it.

Voter Registration Around the World Excerpts: The United States is one of few democratic ...

nicestuff comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Here is a more recent article. "In the U.S., more so than in most any other OECD nation, registration may be an additional barrier to voting. Obviously, voters need to be registered, but it’s difficult to explain how 30 percent of eligible voters are not registered without concluding that the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 1, 2021:

@nicestuff When both candidates from the opposing parties are corporate-owned and serve the same masters, it really doesn't matter, except on the phony culture war issues, which one gets elected. They will both oppress everyone below the top 10% level of wealth and income. The only difference is who will be more openly hostile to minorities, immigrants, women, LGBTQ, and those who are not Christian or Catholic.

Voter Registration Around the World Excerpts: The United States is one of few democratic ...

nicestuff comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Here is a more recent article. "In the U.S., more so than in most any other OECD nation, registration may be an additional barrier to voting. Obviously, voters need to be registered, but it’s difficult to explain how 30 percent of eligible voters are not registered without concluding that the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 1, 2021:

@nicestuff They pretend to be in bitter conflict with each other, but only over the phony culture war issues, like God, guns, gays, abortion, school prayer, etc. All of that is a distraction, aided by the corporate media, to hide how they both collude on the shared agenda of supporting tax cuts for the rich and corporations, opposing single payer health care, continuing endless wars for empire and oil in the Middle East, supporting Israel no matter what they do, and continuing the suppression of civil liberties, militarizing the police, continuing the military industrial complex, destroying the environment, allowing big Pharma to continue to rob us blind, supporting horrible global trade agreements that screw workers and small business, continue media consolidation, gut anti-trust laws and regulation of markets. Continued privatization of government services. In short, neoliberal economic policies by both parties to serve their rich and corporate donor class. In other words, any issues or policies that matter to the rich and corporate America, there is no difference between the parties at the federal level, so why vote? The only differences between the parties and their candidates is on the culture war issues, but what difference do those make if we all end up serfs and slaves to the rule of the rich and corporations? Big deal if we still get to fight each other over race, religion, and other phony divisive issues? The ruling class and multinational corporations still get everything they want and we get to be ruled by fascism either way, so who cares about the wedge issues, when we are all so oppressed and poor that nobody can even go out and protest anymore? Which is coming before the end of this decade, the way it looks. There will no longer even be the charade of elections for federal offices in a few years.

Voter Registration Around the World Excerpts: The United States is one of few democratic ...

nicestuff comments on Dec 1, 2021:

Here is a more recent article. "In the U.S., more so than in most any other OECD nation, registration may be an additional barrier to voting. Obviously, voters need to be registered, but it’s difficult to explain how 30 percent of eligible voters are not registered without concluding that the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 1, 2021:

It is my guess that the vast majority of those 30% of eligible voters who do not register, are actually more informed and realistic than most of those in the 70% that do register and vote. Why? Because they have figured out that, esp. in federal elections, that voting really doesn't matter or change much of anything, as both major parties are corrupt and their pre-selected candidates are already bought and paid for, so why bother voting?

As a man living in the Midwest who is childfree and not at all family or kid-oriented, unlike the ...

shockwaverider comments on Dec 1, 2021:

People on the West Coast are more likely to choose to be childfree in my experience. The fact that I didn't want kids or an instant family was a bit of a dating issue up to my early 40s. Now it is a huge plus that I'm childfree as most women around my age are (almost) empty nesters or childfree. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Dec 1, 2021:

Unfortunately for me, these Midwest women are still obsessed with their kids and family even in to their sixties, which makes no sense to me, but I continue to pay for being childfree in the dating game, same as when I was a young man, and back then nobody wanted to marry me or date me seriously or long term, because I was not into kids.

The republican purpose

LucyLoohoo comments on Nov 30, 2021:

Bob--I'll point out again that those of us in Calif. knew about the ''great communicator's'' plan for ''trickle down''. We knew because we saw that it clearly didn't work!

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 30, 2021:

You are deluded if you think that the Repub Party is the whole problem and that just electing Dems is the answer to everything. Notice how big tax cuts always get passed with some Dems voting for them, same with the military budget? They are two wings of the same party of war, property, corporations, and the rich.

The republican purpose

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 30, 2021:

That was always obvious to me, but most Americans were too dumb to realize the only thing trickling down was the rich pissing on us. Both parties embrace neoliberal economics these days, so that is how it has continued no matter which party held power in DC. Only Bernie Sanders and a few other Dems ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 30, 2021:

@LucyLoohoo I will not debate you, you either have been paying attention to their actions, instead of their words, or not. There is a good reason that the DLC was dissolved during the Obama administration, as it had already served its purpose in transforming the Dem party from a party that supported workers and unions, into a neoliberal party that instead served the rich and corporations. This transformation began in the late 80s with the purpose of making the Dem Party more business friendly and neoliberal in its economic policies, then reached fruitation under Clinton's policies of ending welfare and passing NAFTA, as well deregulating markets.

Karen Trump Supporter Met With INSTANT Karma - The Young Turks [youtube.com]

Charlene comments on Nov 26, 2021:

They snatched her ass up right quick..lololololololololol

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

I was almost hoping she would over-Karen and start resisting and screaming at them, in which case she would have deserved being roughed up a bit, but she didn't and the cops handled it so calmly and smoothly that it surprised her and caught her too off guard to start berating them....

I expected some dumb responses from celebrities and boy, they don’t disappoint.

Jurnee comments on Nov 29, 2021:

Premeditated self defense is also known as first degree murder.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

No shit. He came there with a military weapon and was looking to shoot someone, that attitude on his part is clear. He is thus responsible for his actions provoking the confrontations that ended in his shooting three people and killing two. And if he's smart, which he isn't, he had better lay low, instead of being a public celeb, because I suspect there are some black and lefty type whites that would like to whack him and become hero celebs for it themselves.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 I've had that suggested by other people and I may end up doing that, we'll see. The benefit of that would be protection away from the senior center. But another thing to remember, is that most parking lots of Targets, Wal-Marts, and other box stores, as well as grocery stores, is that they have cameras for their parking lots. So, since those are pretty much where I go in my city besides the senior center, I am fairly well protected by cameras about anywhere in Ankeny that they might follow me besides the senior center. I am a cheap bastard, and hate the idea of spending money on something because bullies force me to do it for protection. I hope I never need to go so far as to buy a handgun to protect myself in the future, but if needed, I would have no moral, political or ethical problem in doing so. And if I did get one, I would go all in on learning how to shoot well, since I would intend to win if these pricks decided to bring it on.... I live in a 55 and over senior condo apartment complex, but I doubt they have any rules or bylaws against owning and keeping firearms in your home here, you just can't use them on the property, I assume.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 Believe me, I thought about the restraining order on him, after he threatened me, but I was concerned that, with the way the staff would not stand up to him, that they would retaliate by banning me from the center, how ironic, on the rationale that I started it and am the problem, instead of him. I also considered that if they did that, I would go to the Iowa chapter of the ACLU to seek help in suing them for discriminating against me if I went to court to get an order against him. I decided to back off and wait and see. But now, I see that he is not going to stop his shit as long as he can get away without consequences. But I think even he knows that if he vandalizes my car on camera, or touches me on camera, and is clearly the aggressor, he will be crossing a line where the center staff cannot protect him and the cops will side with me, due to the clear evidence. I am not concerned that he will put in the time to follow me around town and trash my car somewhere else. I don' think he's smart and ambitious enough to do it. He may well also own a gun, but I don't think he has the guts to use it, when all the record shows that he is making the threats, not me, and I have always left him alone since the first incident, so he would have no case that I was escalating things or going after him. The whole reason I confronted his buddy, the MAGA hat guy, in the first place, was to shake his smug arrogance that everybody there agreed with his BS and politics. I think it's important to confront and stand up to these idiots, so they don't feel so smug and emboldened to say and do whatever they want to.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 I appreciate your concern, but he's too chickenshit to do anything to me on camera, including shove or hit me outside the senior center. My beef with him began months ago when I confronted his buddy, another Trumper who he comes to the center with everyday, rides with him usually and eats with him. I confronted his buddy about how offensive I found his MAGA hat and asked if he could consider leaving it off from wearing it at the center, where we all just come to eat lunch and not hear him and his buddy bringing in their Trump love and loudly mouthing off about it every day for the whole room to hear. Needless to say, his buddy went ballistic about how he loves Jesus and The Constitution, etc. and that's why he wears the hat, etc. After that he and I continued to argue inside the dining room, and that is where his buddy, the guy who took a pic of my car last week, stood up later in the dining room and loudly yelled at me, "How about we go outside and I kick your ass?", to which I said, "You all just heard him threaten me with criminal assault. I want him banned or suspended from here" Needless to say, the staff there and their supervisors were too chickenshit to do anything but talk to him about it, since his politics are the majority in my town. But I made it clear to the staff and their supervisors, that if he ever tried to get physical with me, or threatens me again in front of witnesses, I am going straight to the cops, not them, since they refused to give him any real consequences for his threat. I also told them that I am not physically afraid of him or his buddy, if they hit me, I will finish them in a one on one fight, And they will go to jail for it, not me. Same thing if they fuck with my car on camera outside the center, I will go straight to the cops, since they refuse to punish these assholes for their behavior.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 Agreed. I am, or would be more worried, about someone who I date a while and then went psycho on me, as they would already know where I live and other things about me, so it would be more than just blocking them by phone and online, like having to worry about them following me around, trashing my car away from home, etc., or even doing ID theft. At the same time, I am becoming more worried that we may have civil war in a few years, if the Repubs somehow lose in the next election or two, and there will be shooting in the streets of right wingers against anyone they feel is their political enemy. I already have an asshole Trumper that is being creepy towards me around the senior center where I have been picking up lunches to go before their new building opens next month. Last time, while I was inside getting my lunch, I noticed his car stopped behind my car, so I ran out to confront him. He was taking a cell photo of my car and its license plate and I yelled at him to get the fuck away from my car. He lied and said he was just taking a pic of a sign on the side of the building, a church. Yeah, right, there was no sign on that area of the building. I told him, correctly, that the new building has plenty of cameras on the outside of it, so if he fucks with my car, I will have his ass on video and will go straight to the cops to press charges, won't even bother with the senior center staff, and I will then own his ass. He muttered and drove off. I almost hope he tries to get physical with me in the parking lot, because I would love to finish his ass if a fistfight was initiated by him.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 Never been stalked, so I am honestly not afraid of it. Never give out my full name until I have met someone in person a few times, so that way they can't even find me on FB, much less get my phone number or address with just a first name and age. Also never gave out where I worked even before I retired, the first year or so I was on Match. Even if someone tried to stalk me, I could block their phone number, and I live in a building with security doors and plenty of neighbors who could confront them if they hung around outside. Plus, my car is in an indoor locked garage, so they can't vandalize it when I am home. So I have little to worry about even if someone got thru my screening during the early dating process. The danger would be if I gave too much ID info later and they tried to steal my identity or go stalking me away from home.

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

@Organist1 I think you have the right idea. People need to remember in these situations that this is a harmless stranger, that hasn't met you, doesn't know where you live, etc., unless you have already shared this with them, so there is no need to get paranoid that you are going to be stalked, etc.. Once you send the kiss off message and let them read it, then you block them, and it's over and done with. I don't get why some people, esp. women on dating sites, act like the man can reach out thru the computer and harm them. Because unless you have given out a bunch of identifying info already, which I doubt you are careless enough to have done, he can't do anything to you once you block him on the dating site. But too many people seem to forget as grownups on dating sites, that sticks and stones may break your bones, but words in a dating site message can't really hurt you, so why be so damn afraid of upsetting someone, when you have the ability to block them once you have heard enough? Is your pride or hurt feelings really that important? Talk about First World problems.....

A guy on a dating profile is sending me some of his original poetry, which is the worst stuff I've ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 29, 2021:

I would simply tell him that you do not think he is a match for you. No need to comment on the poetry at all.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 29, 2021:

Agreed. That is what plenty of women have done with me after I have messaged them the first time, or sometimes, later on after trading messages a while. While nobody owes anyone an explanation in online dating as to why they are rejecting someone or decided they aren't a match for them, sometimes I do ask for one from the woman, and sometimes I get one, sometimes I don't. When I reject someone after they have messaged me or met me in person, which is rare, because I am usually the one being rejected, it is usually because I simply don't find the woman physically attractive enough to want to continue contact, not because of other compatibility factors. And that is probably because the profile info and messaging are usually enough for me to determine compatibility with them pretty well prior to the in person meeting, except for the regular wild card of physical attraction or chemistry. Sometimes that is already obvious from the profile photos, and sometimes it's not. But when I reject someone for that reason, I am kind enough to never volunteer that that is the reason I am rejecting someone, as I know that most women get rather upset at that news. But, in rare cases, a woman has asked me why I rejected her, and, instead of giving her some lame other reason for my decision, I have told them the truth. And even then, they usually get mad at me for it. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Adults should learn to act like adults, as in, if they ask for the truth, then be ready to handle it. If not, don't ask for it. I treat all adults like adults, and if they ask for the truth or an explanation, I will give it to them, instead of making up some excuse or lame false reason. If they can't handle it or are lying about what they want from me, that's their problem and fault, not mine.

Shows just how nasty she is

Tejas comments on Nov 27, 2021:

You want the capital police officers to receive an award for letting rioters into the capital building?

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 27, 2021:

No, just the ones who fought them off and got beat up or killed...the dead ones could get posthumous medals.

Hello everyone, I'm conducting a survey to get the religious/spiritual views of Canadians (but ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 27, 2021:

You poor soul. I can already predict lots of arrogant Americans on here will go ahead and do your survey, even tho you make it clear you want the viewpoints of Canadians. Most Americans have no respect for instructions or rules.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 27, 2021:

@p-nullifidian My goof then. I assumed there was no mechanism for the OP to cull which participants were Canadian or not, since that appears to be his real research goal. I was basing my assertion on plenty of experience here where an OP asks, for example, for only women, or only people with a particular experience to reply or comment on their post, but instead they usually get tons of comments from people who don't fit that criteria, but are just so certain that their viewpoint must be heard...

The turkeys were spared this year.

HippieChick58 comments on Nov 25, 2021:

Just keep in mind that it is far better to be single than to be harnessed to the wrong person. I just spent several hours with my ex husband/father of my children. I don't feel bad coming home alone to my kitty brats. My ex and I are able to get along most of the time, and I am good at shutting him ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 26, 2021:

Ain't all of that the truth? I hear you and feel for you. Fortunately for me, my one LTR, my long and good marriage to my late wife, who was not perfect, like me, was not to the wrong person. I don't know what that's like, except for having dated a few wrong women for me, but never more than a few or several months, so it didn't really scar me or harm me much. My main negative experiences have been mostly about rejection, both before my marriage and since being widowed. That is what has made me sadder and wiser about relationships. It has caused me to realize how tough it can be to find compatible dating partners, esp. as you get older. People get more defensive, more set in their ways, and pickier about who they will date. And while some of that is healthy, and part of them learning from their experiences, other parts of it are like what Gail, Organist1 says, that in many cases it is ingrained addictions and personality disorders that prevent them from letting others into their lives and from being able to do healthy relationships. I think many people on dating sites subconsciously sabotage any chance of meeting and connecting successfully with others. They say and maybe even consciously want to find a partner, but their standards and behavior make that impossible in practice. Then they continue to end up alone and instead blame all the problems on the people they meet in the dating site.

I get the feeling, increasingly, that Christianity, especially evangelical, is a death cult.

LucyLoohoo comments on Nov 24, 2021:

Exactly! Send us on to glory, so we can become angels and live forever...singing hymns, plucking harps and praising GAWD. (Sounds like so much fun, doesn't it?)

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@LucyLoohoo It does sound amusing....

I get the feeling, increasingly, that Christianity, especially evangelical, is a death cult.

Word comments on Nov 24, 2021:

Roughly 5 billion years from now, the Sun will exhaust the hydrogen fuel in its core and start burning helium, forcing its transition into a red giant star. During this shift, its atmosphere will expand out to somewhere around 1 astronomical unit — the current average Earth-Sun distance. This ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

And, fortunately for all of us, we will be dead long before that......

I get the feeling, increasingly, that Christianity, especially evangelical, is a death cult.

LucyLoohoo comments on Nov 24, 2021:

Exactly! Send us on to glory, so we can become angels and live forever...singing hymns, plucking harps and praising GAWD. (Sounds like so much fun, doesn't it?)

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

Sounds a little too much like my conception of hell.....if it existed.....

The bootleg CDs, the rare books department, and other stories of holiday mayhem — Ask a Manager

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 24, 2021:

Glad I never worked in the corporate world and I have been able to avoid most of this organizational holiday bullshit behavior during my working years. When I was working, I mostly treated these holiday work parties as optional and remained sober at every one, always remembering that none of these ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@HippieChick58 Glad to hear you finally found a good employer and that you can ride that one into retirement.

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

Secretguy comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I often think how awful it would be to be a twenty something trying to date. But I guess that applies to all ages.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@Organist1 And yet, based on my experience with Match, even women in their late 50s and their sixties, seem to have bought into and adopted this Amazon shopping mentality about online dating, despite having grown up without the internet and they supposedly do have some in person experiences and social skills to draw on regarding meeting people. Yet they use the tech to shop for partners the same way younger people do. They should know better than to do that, but they don't seem to get how corrupted by the tech they have become.

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

Secretguy comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I often think how awful it would be to be a twenty something trying to date. But I guess that applies to all ages.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@Organist1 You are so right on both points. On the first one, you hit it right on the beginning, the women have rigid and unrealistic demands and requirements because online dating makes it so easy and encouraging for them to treat it like shopping on Amazon for a household appliance. And that is exactly how they treat it. No wonder they end up alone and unhappy, as they lose sight of how they are actually dealing with flawed, complex, holistic human beings, not inanimate objects on a shelf, which, by nature, is messy and takes time and effort to deal with, getting to know a stranger and get past both their defenses and your own. But they want it quick, simple, and easy for them, same as shopping on Amazon. And I have no doubt that guys are no better, in most cases. They go almost entirely on looks, rather than other qualities, and most of them refuse to date someone their own age, I am told, by other women, not just you, much less date someone older. And on your second point, yes, once you reach your fifties, even if you have taken good care of yourself, genetics often rears its ugly head, and something can happen anytime to a partner's health, so it is a crapshoot as to how long they may live after you meet them. That's why the marriage vows say, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

Secretguy comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I often think how awful it would be to be a twenty something trying to date. But I guess that applies to all ages.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@Organist1 Sounds like we both have very similar dating pools, in that when you weed out all the incompatible people and also factor in how many have unreasonable checklists and standards on their end, such as, in your case the guys who won't date in their own age group, and in my case, the women who are divorced (which is the vast majority of my dating pool) and won't date men who are childless, widowed, non-religious, or non-drinkers, in my case it leaves me with about 2-3% at most who are compatible on both my end and theirs. And it's not like I have that many dealbreakers. Like you, I want someone who is at least somewhat physically attractive to me. For me, to be blunt, it means someone who has at least some curves, and is a solid 6 or 7 on a scale of 10 in looks. The dating puddle for me is so bad, that I am open these days to even dating someone 11 years older than me, even tho I am worried that it could end up setting me up for losing my second partner in a row to death sometime in the next decade or so, but I don't have much choice, as the younger women seem too demanding and unrealistic in their standards. The women older than me seem to be more reasonable about just wanting a good man who is not unattractive, instead of the perfect man or Prince Charming. The ones who are still interested in dating by their mid-70s also are just looking for a good companion, not perfection, as they realize their time left on this rock is not unlimited anymore. Unlike most men my age, I am fine with dating someone older than me, as long as their health is good and they are in better shape than most of their age peers. My late wife was 15 years older than me, so I have always been this way once I hit middle age, and if all other compatibilities are ok, why not date older? I guess I must be more emotionally mature and secure than my fellow men my age because I am not thrown by dating women anywhere from several years younger to 11years older, if they are all equally compatible otherwise.

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

Secretguy comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I often think how awful it would be to be a twenty something trying to date. But I guess that applies to all ages.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 24, 2021:

@Organist1 Hi Gail. I wanted to add another thought about the dating game that came to mind recently when talking with my therapist about the is subject. While, on the one hand, you would think that older would know a lot more about what they want, like you said, the paradox about that that seems to run in the dating game, and I assume it runs with both sexes, is that the vast majority of women in my local dating pool on Match not only know what they want, but they seem to feel they know TOO MUCH exactly what they want, and end up using an unreasonably long checklist of traits and dealbreakers that they feel the must satisfy to end up with a compatible partner. And the paradox is that so many of these standards are either outdated or irrelevant to what qualities and characteristics might actually be necessary and helpful to the relationship working. Two examples of these standards are that the guy MUST have kids to be compatible, even when both Match members are in their 60s, come on....Another is both people having to drink alcohol with the same level and frequency, again, I say, come on, is it really that crucial, assuming both people are open-minded, reasonable, and somewhat tolerant? Too many seem to get caught up in treating it like shopping on Amazon, and then they wonder why they still end up alone and unhappy. Why do I suspect this? Because I have been on Match a total of four years now, active for three, and I still see many of the same faces and profiles of women, that are even still active, so they either are not looking for an LTR, or are not into monogamy, but I doubt that either of those are the case with more than a few of them, since my local culture and lifestyle mainstream is pretty traditional about that stuff. So, while none of us want to just settle, the standards of most people seem to be unrealistic, narrow and rigid, and ultimately self-defeating in most cases. I have standards, and even a few dealbreakers too, but I don't want to stay alone indefinitely, so I try to make my standards realistic for not only how far out of the mainstream I am on culture and lifestyle for my local dating pool, but also the fact that I am bald and average-looking, which also limit my prospects of how many women in my dating pool will accept me for dating. If only most people were so sober and realistic about their standards and what it will take to find love and compatibility.

And so it begins..pt 2 [rawstory.com]

Lauren comments on Nov 20, 2021:

What a seriously deranged, sadistic, and cruel group of people they are.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@Charlene Yup.

And so it begins..pt 2 [rawstory.com]

Lauren comments on Nov 20, 2021:

What a seriously deranged, sadistic, and cruel group of people they are.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@Charlene Yup, you can't fight violent fascists here with just a keyboard and voting anymore than you could fight the Nazi's in Germany with voting and letters to the newspaper, tho in the 1940s Woody Guthrie made a good try at fighting them with his guitar and voice.

I feel immense pain for the little children all around the world today.

Sticks48 comments on Nov 16, 2021:

I wouldn't count on it. We thought the same thing in the 60s.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

True. I had great hope and innocence then, as a child and then a teen. But my generation sold out and became corrupted as well, at least most of them did, and instead our society became more like Lord Of The Flies than the hippie or MLK or even LBJ ideal of a Great Society or The Beloved Community or The Free Family. Now see which of you can match up each ideal with the one that promoted it. Consider it a history test.

And so it begins..pt 2 [rawstory.com]

Lauren comments on Nov 20, 2021:

What a seriously deranged, sadistic, and cruel group of people they are.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

@Charlene The Vietnam War was not worth dying for, and neither any of the other wars after that, because they were all about protecting American empire and corporate profits. But this coming civil war is actually about democracy, and finally getting it for real, instead of the fake charade we have now. And if we let these pricks win with fascist takeover of our government, it will be even worse than our current rule by corporations and the oligarchy. It will install theocracy and total repression of human rights and free speech. Elections will no longer even be bothered with. And those things, even tho it would likely be in vain, are still worth fighting for, at least to me. But voting and sitting behind a keyboard is not going to cut it for this fight.

And so it begins..pt 2 [rawstory.com]

Lauren comments on Nov 20, 2021:

What a seriously deranged, sadistic, and cruel group of people they are.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

And along as most Americans timidly wring their hands and stay inside their homes and behind their keyboards, instead of getting out in the street, risky as it might be, to confront these pricks and pressure the government to crack down on them, things will only get worse. This is already like 1930s Germany, as the Nazi brownshirts became increasingly emboldened. There are few things I feel are still worth dying for, but one of them, at my age, is to get out in the street as this gets worse, and make my stand, unarmed as I am, against these fascists.

Trouble for DeJoy? Biden makes new choices for USPS board

mischl comments on Nov 20, 2021:

This is GOOD news AFAIC. Biden certainly took long enough to make a move.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

He sure did! Knowing how much of a corporate tool Biden is, and that since 2006 both parties have been colluding to privatize the Postal Service after first killing it off, I thought there was no way Biden was going to act to stop it. Still, he is maybe only doing it now to help the Dems in the midterms, but I won't believe his effort is for real until DeJoy is actually fired and replaced with someone who supports maintaining a good Postal Service. Corporate Dems like Biden are great at appearing to try to do the right thing or making a fake effort to reform things, and then blaming their secret caving or collusion on the big, bad Repubs, when the real cause is their loyalty to their corporate and rich donors.

[msnbc.com] A good assessment, I think.

dalefvictor comments on Nov 19, 2021:

So what I want to know concerns two topics. First, can a white man now carry an automatic rifle and when he seems someone else with a gun, shoot them just because they might want to shoot him. Second, I would think that the next time Kyle is walking down the street someone could just shoot him out ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 20, 2021:

His lawyer said in a post trial interview that he will be moving away from his hometown for his safety, kind of like having to enter witness protection after you are acquitted. I still hope that he is discovered in his new hiding place and gets whacked.

Tweedledee and Tweedledum thinking looking cute will get them some table scraps. 🌭

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Nov 19, 2021:

Is it working?

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 19, 2021:

It would with me...

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

Santanaman9 comments on Nov 17, 2021:

Pretty lame excuse: "I got tied up at the office". That's older than ME! It suggests that the guy is already in a relationship... and it just out seeing if he can get some "hits". It was good that you "missed" him. Saved yourself torment.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 18, 2021:

I agree. He was probably just out for the ego trip of seeing how many women he could rack up that would agree to meet him, and still get his kicks from standing them up. There are some real sick puppies out there, of both sexes, that get a kick out of standing people up, both from the power trip of feeling in control or superior, and also from being wanted by others. I have heard plenty of stories from the front of there being lots of people who use dating sites simply for entertainment or ego boosts by seeing how many people they can connect with and be attractive to, or how many they can line up to meet them, all with no intention of actually meeting anyone in person, much less actually dating someone. Very sick and selfish.... Probably has a lot in common with porn addictions....

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I feel bad for you, but, as others below have said, boorish behavior, by both sexes, is becoming common with dating sites. I almost felt like giving up when, during a six month period before Covid, I got stood up by four different women. In each case, there was nothing to excuse or tip me off that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 17, 2021:

@Organist1 I think you are right about the male counterpart of resting bitch face. Both types have a cold, hard stare in their pics, and they have no real empathy or warmth for others in their heart. I have tried to learn from that experience with that woman and never message women with only pics like that. In fact, after I confronted her about standing me up, she simply said she forgot about it and didn't even apologize for it. And to think that she is a peds nurse, like you, it kind of chilled my spine... The guy standing next to the sports car sounds like the typical macho sociopath, but what's really sick is that plenty of women would find that look, and the sports car with it, to be a real turn on. There's no accounting for taste....

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I feel bad for you, but, as others below have said, boorish behavior, by both sexes, is becoming common with dating sites. I almost felt like giving up when, during a six month period before Covid, I got stood up by four different women. In each case, there was nothing to excuse or tip me off that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 17, 2021:

@Organist1 Where to start? One woman simply said she forgot about the coffee date, after I got home and confronted her with a message on Match. Another said that she assumed, wrongly, that I had changed my mind about meeting her because four days had gone by since we agreed on the plans and I hadn't messaged her after that to confirm my interest, etc., which to me felt way too much like parenting or being responsible for stroking someone's ego and making them feel important just to get them to keep their word and show up. That woman apologized when I messaged and confronted her, asked me for another chance and I told her I would pass, since I couldn't trust her. The other two, I can't remember why they didn't show, but they didn't express any apology for standing me up. It's cold and brutal out there. I remember that first woman who stood me up was a nurse and all her profile pics showed her never smiling. My younger female friends told me that was a tipoff about her personality, that she had a "resting bitch face" in those pics, so I try to avoid women in the future with that trait. They didn't ghost me, I wouldn't say. They just didn't show, and then we never met later either. I can imagine your former hubby coming out as gay had to feel shocking and like a real betrayal, that would really do a number on your mind. I do think there is a lot of passive aggressive type anger in many of these people, projected onto the opposite sex for things their ex or maybe other men later, have done to them. I never see this sort of behavior from widowed women, probably because their experience with relationships is more positive, so they don't act out against the opposite sex. As far as moving away for a better dating pool, I have had that suggested to me by lots of ignorant people on here, but I would never do it. I don't know about you, but I need the emotional and social support of my local friends way too much to risk moving away for some uncertain prospect of finding a partner while meanwhile I am living in a city where I have no friends or local support system, hoping to snag a long term partner soon after I move there. Much easier and less painful in theory than in practice.

I got stood up by a guy from a dating site.

Secretguy comments on Nov 17, 2021:

I often think how awful it would be to be a twenty something trying to date. But I guess that applies to all ages.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 17, 2021:

@Organist1 Exactly right, Gail. The diff between the younger and older dating pools, is that, with maybe the exception of the widowed, the older pool is mostly rejects and recycled folks, who have good reasons why they are not coupled, usually, like you say, because of either addiction issues or personality disorders, sometimes both, which are long-standing and unlikely to change. That is why I continue to be amazed at how many divorced women seem unwilling to date widowed men, maybe because they fear competition or comparison with a dead woman, who knows? But logically speaking, it would make sense for them to consider the possibility that the widowed men might be better potential partners than another divorced man, unless what the woman is really after is sympathy, understanding about her hurts from her divorce, and a shoulder to cry on. And if that is the case, they really haven't moved on from the divorce, nor are they really ready for another relationship. But that is probably common for people who refuse to get therapy after a divorce.

Here, the surge never ended. In rural California, hospitals are pushed to the brink

BitFlipper comments on Nov 15, 2021:

The title contains the reason: "rural".

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 15, 2021:

Why I will never again live in a rural area. I can't stand the hicks, rednecks, their country music, their religion, and their Repub politics.

Here, the surge never ended. In rural California, hospitals are pushed to the brink

silverotter11 comments on Nov 15, 2021:

Same story pretty much everywhere in America, the rural folks are conservative and do not appear to get much news input other than fox, oann, talk radio, etc. Same situation here in eastern WA. Lower vaccination rates, high community spread and hospitals full. The correlation is there - vaccines,...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 15, 2021:

We can only hope that enough of these ignorant hicks die off and that it allows for our country's politics to regain some sanity.

How the right wants to divide us

racocn8 comments on Nov 14, 2021:

Except that after inheriting the stock market collapse due to marketing fraudulently graded securities, Obama didn't indict a single Wall Streeter. Law and Order thrown out of the window- - and the middle of the end...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 14, 2021:

Agreed. He was a total corporatist and sellout, which made the white working class feel justifiably betrayed, and thus he paved the way for Trump. And Biden is doing the same thing, so we can expect the Dems to lose big in 2022 and 2024, because simply not being Repubs is not enough to get votes from working class people, nor should it be....

Is there somebody for everybody or does everybody settle for somebody

Lauren comments on Nov 3, 2021:

Those are broad, simplistic generalizations there. The number of single people in the world would indicate that not everyone is settling, and the idea that there's one ideal partner for everyone is limiting and unrealistic. If that were the case, how would anyone ever stumble upon their perfect ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 13, 2021:

@Lauren Everyone has deal breakers, and within reason, those are a good thing. At the same time, you make a great point in that while we all have deal breakers as to what things make someone a non-match, for us at least, at the same time, we all need to be realistic and pragmatic about both what we bring to the table or have to offer a partner, and also what things we may have to compromise on or tolerate as far as personal differences with a prospective partner in order to be able to find a match within our respective dating pools. And if we are not willing to be reasonable or pragmatic regarding those things I mentioned in my last sentence, then it's likely, as you say, that the person is really not that interested in wanting to share their life with someone or find another partner. And they may even be fully or partly unaware of their ambivalence about it. But in my case, for example, I am a very small minority within my local online dating pool, so, in order to be reasonable and pragmatic, because I really do want to share my life with someone again, I can't afford to have very many deal breakers at all, since the slice of compatible women in my dating pool is so small to begin with, and, on top of that, most of them are well aware that they are part of the majority culture and lifestyle in my dating pool, so they can easily afford to have more dealbreakers than me and be less open to compromise and tolerance of differences. I would love to be able to choose from only women who were politically very lefty, hated country music, were not at all family-oriented, well-educated, above average-looking, non-religious, non-smokers, and who only drank socially. But that is not realistic, and would leave me with practically nobody to choose from, at least nobody that would choose an average-looking bald man with financial security, but not rich by any means. So I have to compromise and tolerate women who like country music some, but not their favorite genre, women who are moderately religious, be open to women who are only average-looking, women who are occaisional smokers, or moderate drinkers, and women with kids who are only moderately family-oriented. Because the alternative, realistically, is either being alone for a long time at the very least, or needing to move away to a better dating pool, which I have already discussed ad nauseum why I won't do it. So if you factor in the necessary pragmatism that must of us, as non-mainstream folks, have to engage in, along with the compromises I mentioned, about all of us end up settling, at least somewhat, whether we realize it or not, unless we get very lucky or are actually not that interested in sharing our life with someone, and still happen to hit the relationship lottery.

SnowyOwl posted a thread about mortality/ethics, and this article discusses whether or or not ...

DenoPenno comments on Nov 13, 2021:

This is true. As for me, I am not worried about morality in any way. You make your own morality in how you deal with others. Discussing it with the religious is a no win situation.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 13, 2021:

Morality is proven and tested by actions, not words and beliefs. As Jesus himself said, to paraphrase, "Talk is cheap". And, as a poli sci professor once said, so eloquently, "Until you have power and are tempted to use it corruptly, I don't really know who you are, morally and ethically, because you haven't been tested yet".... Very profound words.

I thought this was a joke but it turns out it’s pretty interesting at least on a Neurological ...

racocn8 comments on Nov 13, 2021:

And that's why many pet-owners have started to give their cats CBD; it helps their depression and bipolar issues.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 13, 2021:

We already knew that cats liked getting high, they may even love CBD more than catnip!

I've never been a Taylor Swift fan but this new video I happened upon certainly evokes the accurate ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 13, 2021:

I have seldom had that happen to me, tho I have been dumped plenty of times when I was young. My first real dating experience of length was one where I did feel totally played and abandoned from someone I trusted and thought was solid, but I was very young and naive. It was a very formative ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 13, 2021:

@UUNJ Personally, I have never been impressed, at least not positively, by either of them. One song of Mayer's that I particularly hate is his cop-out song regarding protest, Waiting For The World To Change, which is a backlash against Boomers who criticize his generation for being apolitical and apathetic about actually getting out and pushing for change. The song is such a lame, chickenshit response to how much his generation dropped out from politics to escape into their video games and social media, the net, etc., instead of voting or protesting. He is such a wanker, as the Brits would say.

So you know the difference

BitFlipper comments on Nov 10, 2021:

Yes, and on the 11th month, the 11th day, and the 11th hour I'll be attending an event with Veterans For Peace.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 11, 2021:

@BitFlipper I agree you are on the right side, as the Vietnam War was clearly a huge mistake and the first war where the public was told the Big Lie about why we were involved there. I am 63 years old and missed the draft by several years, but I was old enough then in the late sixties to a have begun thinking about what I would do if I was drafted. I decided I would seek CO status, but never had to actually deal with that, as the war and draft ended before I was of age, tho I still had to register for the draft. I like to think if the draft and war had gone on for several more years, that I would have had the guts to act on my convictions. Since then I have opposed every war our leaders have lied us into, including the Kosovo War, and both Gulf Wars, as well as Afghanistan. The all turned out to be mistakes or based on lies, usually both.

Is there somebody for everybody or does everybody settle for somebody

Lauren comments on Nov 3, 2021:

Those are broad, simplistic generalizations there. The number of single people in the world would indicate that not everyone is settling, and the idea that there's one ideal partner for everyone is limiting and unrealistic. If that were the case, how would anyone ever stumble upon their perfect ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 11, 2021:

Well said. You seem way too sensible and sane to be single, but so am I. Too bad almost everybody here lives hundreds of miles apart. And, yet, in my local dating pool on Match, it seems like so many women have a narrow, rigid checklist of traits that a man must meet, or they won't even consider replying to him, much less meeting him in person to see what he's like. I often wonder if it's really because they are too busy to bother putting the time into meeting that many different men, even ones who may differ some way from the woman or vary a bit from their shopping list, or is it because they just have such faith in only seeking men who strictly meet their rigid, narrow list of requirements? So many seem to forget that we are dealing with complex, flawed, human beings, no matter whether they meet the checklist or not, and the only way to be sure, both if they are right for you, or if they are incompatible, is to spend some time and effort at communicating with them and being around them. And irrational as it may seem, few people seem concerned that they might actually miss out on someone compatible and good for them by being too picky or spending too little time meeting those who seem less than a perfect match on paper.

This makes a good point

racocn8 comments on Nov 11, 2021:

The US died decades ago. We're only just now seeing the rot without disguise.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 11, 2021:

The death of democracy began with JFK's murder by the shadow government, that FDR warned us about, the same shadow government that conspired to oust FDR with a military coup. Few Americans are even aware of that event.

So you know the difference

BitFlipper comments on Nov 10, 2021:

Yes, and on the 11th month, the 11th day, and the 11th hour I'll be attending an event with Veterans For Peace.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 10, 2021:

I wish war resisters and peace activists could get the same kind of honor and respect as veterans, since, ironically, they in their way, are doing just as much if not more to support the welfare and protect the lives of the future soldiers and the youth. Instead they are treated as pariahs and unpatriotic cowards, when in fact, they have probably greater love for their country and their fellow man than most of the gung ho soldiers. Their critics are actually not patriots, just people in love with war, authority, and nationalism.

This is what we got

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 10, 2021:

I agree with the gist of that, but unfortunately, when the next elections happen in a years, most voters will only be thinking about how high inflation is and how their personal economics did not improve significantly, and that they did not personally get any promised benefits like child tax ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 10, 2021:

@racocn8 I get that, but most voters are very ignorant of how the fed govt. works and also do not get or think at all in nuances, so they reflexively blame whoever formally holds power in the congress and White House, no matter how much obstruction the Repubs do.

Has everyone been unable to post anything for the past 13 or 14 hours?

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 10, 2021:

So the site is now officially a ghost ship?

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 10, 2021:

@Mcflewster It appears to be without one.

That's why we have a problem today

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Because inflation continues to eat up worker's wages, while wages have remained stagnant for most since the early 1970s. Meanwhile, productivity has gone way up. Where did all the increased profit and wealth from that go? Not to the workers, but up the chain to the top 1%. They got enormously richer...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 10, 2021:

@callmedubious Socialism seems to work fine in some Euro countries, so I disagree on that. I agree that the ruling class has taken over both major parties here. I believe the system could change without a complete financial collapse, but only if most eligible voters threw off the brainwashing of the corporate media and started voting for third party candidates, like the Green Party, and drained the swamp that way. That is how peaceful revolution could happen. But I am not hopeful that will ever happen, at least not in my lifetime. Most disillusioned Americans instead choose to stop voting, rather than vote for third parties, which is very self-defeating.

The highest paid workers in this country are unionized, don't believe me.

bobwjr comments on Nov 9, 2021:

Have been in unions they are great

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 9, 2021:

Same here, it was the only job I ever had that had good yearly pay increases, great benefits, and where I was able to put away a good amount of money for retirement. Every other job I ever had, I was living hand to mouth and barely scraping by, or not. I was glad and proud to join the union the first week I was on the job, never regretted the union dues I paid, just regretted all the freeloaders who sponged off the union and refused to join or pay dues. I hated that the union still had to represent the freeloaders if they got in trouble with management, as well as how they got the same pay raises and benefits that I got. The only thing the union couldn't do, due to its low membership, was fight for us against shithead managers and bad work conditions.

Andrew Yang says the two-party system fuels extremism: "The people are losing"

Barnie2years comments on Nov 9, 2021:

Until someone who comes up with a way to split up BOTH Parties into at least two or three Parties at the same time with a way to assure that they remain that way, this would be a dangerous move. The Democrats would love to have Trumplicans pull off Republican voters, making it easier to win ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 9, 2021:

Ranked choice voting would solve the whole thing, as then people could vote for third party candidates without having to risk being a spoiler vote, and the same thing with candidates outside the two party system. This would keep both major parties more honest, as they could no longer triangulate and tell their more liberal or conservative voters to just shut up and fall in line, on the assumption they have nowhere else to go or no one else to vote for. I would esp. enjoy watching RCV taking away the argument of that smug prick Rahm Emanuel, who told progressive Dems they were "retarded" and had nowhere else to go but the Dem Party.

A different take, what are your feelings?

Lauren comments on Nov 9, 2021:

I agree that the value is in its abundance, and I can never hear it - or say it - too often. Not just to my partner, but to my kids, my friends, my family. It triggers a sweet swell of emotion each time. Sometimes it triggers other things, too, and that's nice. My husband and I said it every ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 9, 2021:

@Lauren You said it. That's why I have such a hard time relating with and dealing with some of the women in my dating pool from Match, because the majority of them are divorced, rather than widowed, like you and me, so they seem to have so much hurt, cynicism, and distrust of the opposite sex, from all their baggage over their divorce. And it seems like very few of them have every gotten any therapy for their divorce issues. Instead, they just take out their stuff on whatever poor slobs they encounter on the dating sites. And, BTW, them simply having attended a divorce support group or a divorce class after their divorce does not cut it or really deal adequately, in most cases, with all their issues over the divorce. I encounter many divorced women from Match, and I do ask them what help they got after their divorce, and most of them confirm that all they did were the classes or groups, not individual therapy. And it shows.....

A different take, what are your feelings?

Lauren comments on Nov 9, 2021:

I agree that the value is in its abundance, and I can never hear it - or say it - too often. Not just to my partner, but to my kids, my friends, my family. It triggers a sweet swell of emotion each time. Sometimes it triggers other things, too, and that's nice. My husband and I said it every ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 9, 2021:

As a fellow widowed person, I can relate. I think that many divorced people, who have not lost a loved spouse by death, don't relate, and tend to be more callous in how they treat current or potential partners.

That's why we have a problem today

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Because inflation continues to eat up worker's wages, while wages have remained stagnant for most since the early 1970s. Meanwhile, productivity has gone way up. Where did all the increased profit and wealth from that go? Not to the workers, but up the chain to the top 1%. They got enormously richer...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 8, 2021:

@silverotter11 Sounds like a wise decision. I am the same with my siblings, even the ones that vote Dem and agree me on some politics, because, in the end, there is always conflict between them and me on the status quo, as I am a socialist who opposes continued business as usual capitalism, and my siblings, who are all just fine with the system as it is, will never agree with or accept my views on this as valid and equal to theirs.

A different take, what are your feelings?

itsmedammit comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Saying it frequently does not devalue it. Rather it reinforces the bond.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 8, 2021:

Like most things that are said, it all depends on the intentions and motives of the person's speech. If it is to manipulate or placate someone, it has little emotional value or genuineness, while, if it is said honestly, sincerely, and without conditions, then it really is a statement and act of love each time.

Most serial killers are men.

KKGator comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Yeah, not even a little funny. But hey, way to perpetuate misogyny. Well done. 🙄

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 8, 2021:

@JonnaBononna Easy for you to say that, JB, but my case of the female serial killer makes my point, the worst possible outcome is the same for either gender, but if you are going to speak only in generalities, of course, women are generally physically weaker, less likely to be able to defend themselves in hand to hand combat without weapons, are generally smaller, etc.. So we all get that, JB, but the fact is most people are harmless in the dating game, tho many are nasty and mean, it seems and that goes both ways with both genders. So I will not concede that there is this huge danger for women in general and that men have no risk at all, relatively speaking, in the dating game, because the mere fact of female serial killers using dating ads proves my point, that both genders are capable of killing others in the dating world. And we all know, without it being said, that women face the possibility of sexual assault from a man they meet in the dating game, but of course, there are also things to do to help avoid that, same with men who might get lured into situations with violent, armed women. Like don't go home with them to their place early on in the dating process, esp. if you have been drinking heavily, etc. Common sense safety measures. Men mainly just face the risk of physical violence, women also face possible sexual violence also. See, I said it all for you so you don't have to state the obvious, JB.

Most serial killers are men.

KKGator comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Yeah, not even a little funny. But hey, way to perpetuate misogyny. Well done. 🙄

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 8, 2021:

I agree, lumping serial killers in with gender hatred or resentment is not funny. A book I recently read discussed a woman from long ago who may well have been America's first known female serial killer, possibly the most prolific female one ever. She killed at least 40 men that she lured to her farm with personal ads she placed in newspapers. And to think how bad we consider today's online dating to be, it proves that things have always been dangerous with dating, at least in some cases. Dealing with strangers in the dating world has always had risks, and for both genders, it seems.

That's why we have a problem today

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Because inflation continues to eat up worker's wages, while wages have remained stagnant for most since the early 1970s. Meanwhile, productivity has gone way up. Where did all the increased profit and wealth from that go? Not to the workers, but up the chain to the top 1%. They got enormously richer...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 8, 2021:

@silverotter11 To most conservatives and Libertarians, their political beliefs are like a religion to them, they will not listen to anything that contradicts their beliefs. They are willfully ignorant, and I decided long ago to not waste my breath, energy, or time on them. I will simply wait and not engage with them, until, if ever, they become deprogrammed thru life experience which finally crashes their belief system such as them experiencing personal poverty or loss of their privilege or standard of living. But sometimes, even that does not wise them up, they just continue with their beliefs and find some scapegoat, like liberals or immigrants, to blame their fate on, instead of their rich masters, who are their real enemies, not me or you, but they never recognize this.

That's why we have a problem today

TomMcGiverin comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Because inflation continues to eat up worker's wages, while wages have remained stagnant for most since the early 1970s. Meanwhile, productivity has gone way up. Where did all the increased profit and wealth from that go? Not to the workers, but up the chain to the top 1%. They got enormously richer...

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 8, 2021:

@silverotter11 I already said why that is, and we both know the answer to the ?, they just don't want to hear it. Besides union membership being only a fraction of what it was back in the 1960s, another factor in inflation rising without wages increasing, is the lack of anti-trust enforcement and the lack of regulation of industries that have become monopolized, such as the oil companies and drug companies,, which allow companies to raise prices as much as they want or to fix prices, while consumers have little or no choice but to pay what they charge.

Anti-Vaxxers are Vaccine Zombies.

racocn8 comments on Nov 5, 2021:

That is how the stupid ones 'own the libs', so they think.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 7, 2021:

Then let them own the Libs from the grave....

I am signed up a for a a couple of Meetups, and, as usual, 80 to 90 % of the attendees will be ...

DenoPenno comments on Nov 6, 2021:

I'm open to anything that does not drastically change my life and I am certainly not looking or a caregiver. Live and let live here.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 7, 2021:

@itsmedammit Glad you at least succeeded in finding and making a couple friends. Joining free groups is fine for that purpose. Paying money for dating sites, tho, is not something done for finding new platonic friends, tho those may end up being an occaisional side benefit. It is not why people join those and if that is all they get out of it, then they are wasting their money, in my opinion.

I am signed up a for a a couple of Meetups, and, as usual, 80 to 90 % of the attendees will be ...

bobwjr comments on Nov 6, 2021:

I get tired with all the elimination of xians and crazies

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 7, 2021:

@itsmedammit Unfortunately, Sharon, in my area, what you are referring to as progressive women, are few and far between in my past experience with Meetup groups. It seemed like the few that were around limited themselves to just attending the Humanist, Atheist, Freethinker groups, etc. and when they did attend those, according to a male friend who went to those, there were few women there, esp. in my age group, and those that did attend appeared to be already coupled, according to him. As far as singles only groups, like you said at the end, I attended one of them for about a year a few years ago, and it was a bust as far as finding anyone to date. I did meet a female platonic friend out of it, but she was the only person in the whole group that I had much in common with or hit it off with. The rest were either not educated or intellectual at all or else pretty dull and boring. The so-called progressive women in my area seem to mostly limit themselves to groups within the local Unitarian church and most of the single ones within that subset don't appear interested in dating, from what I am told by other women at the church.

I was shopping today and the place was filled with xmas stuff, I prefer my commercial holidays with ...

itsmedammit comments on Nov 3, 2021:

Apparently we have been unsuccessful in killing Christmas. Maybe next year.

TomMcGiverin replies on Nov 7, 2021:

We can always hope. As the saying goes, " If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again...."..

Man imprisoned 45 years for wife's killing is acquitted (America's 2nd longest serving innocent ...

Druvius comments on Nov 6, 2021:

A case like this is why the UK abolished the death penalty. A fellow was hung for murdering his wife, turned out she'd been killed by a serial killer living in the flat below. And police had missed things like a fencepost propped up with a human femur in his garden.