TomMcGiverin's Profile

Well none of the ladies on this site who I've messaged have replied back.

kiramea comments on Mar 12, 2021:

FYI....... A lot of ladies look at your posts before they decide to reply. You haven't even been here a year, and have made like five posts. At least you have a profile (though very small).

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 12, 2021:

Most of the women here probably see a profile with not much info, few posts or comments in that long of a membership and they suspect the guy is either a scammer or has something else to hide.

Well none of the ladies on this site who I've messaged have replied back.

Leelu comments on Mar 12, 2021:

Then you get what you deserve.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 12, 2021:

I dated a Catholic woman for six months before Covid and then it broke up with Covid. I have to admit I would have preferred a woman who didn't believe, but she respected my non-belief and didn't push anything religious on me. Other than being a believer and being a political moderate, she was pretty compatible overall on personality and values.

About that border wall.

Surfpirate comments on Mar 12, 2021:

The road to Atheism is paved with well read bibles and korans and torahs, etc. etc., so it's more likely that the Blue states will have surplus bibles if a bit on the tattered side. Those Red state bibles are pristine, as if they were never cracked open because the owners can't read.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 12, 2021:

I agree, public education for K-12 in those red states tends to be downright pitiful...

Anybody else from here live in the Midwest, like me?

Mooolah comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Perhaps vacationing in different areas of the country might expose you to a different gene pool. There is always the mail order bride. I would research where my best prospects are in the ratio of one gender to another. Iowa is very narrow in its politics which translates into less opportunities. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 12, 2021:

@Mooolah BTW, I think it was kind of cruel for you to suggest that I drop out and join the incel movement. That is basically suggesting that someone is repulsive and undateable, and I bet if a similar movement existed for women and I suggested here that you join it, you and all the other women on here would be all over me like a pack of dogs, so I take offense and insult at your suggestion.

Good News: You lose 1.49 oz for every hour of sleep!

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Are you saying that sleep shrinks your brain?

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 12, 2021:

@Spinliesel I wish you the best on both of them.

Senate confirms Merrick Garland as Biden's attorney general

Barnie2years comments on Mar 11, 2021:

He should have been on the Supreme Court. Hopefully this makes up for it in some way.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 11, 2021:

Not really. An appointment that might last 4 years, most likely, vs. a lifetime appointment to the SC, I don't think there's any comparison.

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 11, 2021:

@nicknotes Agreed, but looks do matter to me, at least initially, in whether I want to pursue a woman, because it affects whether I will be sexually attracted enough to her to desire going to that stage or step with her. I either feel chemistry or attraction or don't. And if I don't why bother getting to know someone if it's doomed to end at platonic friendship. At least if it starts with a dating site, I don't want to waste someone's time or lead them on.

Anybody else from here live in the Midwest, like me?

Mooolah comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Perhaps vacationing in different areas of the country might expose you to a different gene pool. There is always the mail order bride. I would research where my best prospects are in the ratio of one gender to another. Iowa is very narrow in its politics which translates into less opportunities. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 11, 2021:

@Mooolah I've had a lot of people on Agnostic, both male and female, validate that my looks are fine, tho average looking. So I am not going to drastically alter them. Again, I appreciate your comments and effort, but it is not for me, not my way. I can name a few other guys on Agnostic that are in the same boat, but I won't embarrass them by naming them. They, like me , are nice guys that have a lot to offer the right woman emotionally and relationship wise, even if we aren't the latest shiny new toy, but seem to be doomed to sit on the sidelines of the dating game. They just aren't as outspoken and assertive as me about standing up for their truth. There is nothing rude or inappropriate about sharing your own experience, whether it is similar or different, than the person you are addressing. What is presumptuous is to assume the other person is soliciting advice instead of or in addition to the experiences and insights of others, which is what I'm after whenever I share my experiences and perspectives on these forums. Some of us do not want or need to be "fixed", we just want to be heard, known by others, and maybe learn something from how others are different or the same. It is ironic that you, a woman are hearing me, a man, tell you this, when I can't count the number of times women have told me, " I don't want to be fixed or for you to fix the problem, I just want to be heard about it".

Anybody else from here live in the Midwest, like me?

Mooolah comments on Mar 11, 2021:

PS I often suggest learning to dance when solicited for advice. Learn to cut a few subte moves. Even take a square dance course with a friend. Meet -up will come back after covid. But dancing is something women love to do.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 11, 2021:

See my comment below. I realize you are trying to be helpful, but I did not ask for advice. BTW, I used to go dancing with my late wife and tried the Meetup dance groups before Covid, but they no longer seem to offer much in the way of single women who are my type. They used to way back when I met my late wife, but that was a couple decades ago and a lot fewer people show up for them these days. That fad has come and gone, it seems.

Anybody else from here live in the Midwest, like me?

Mooolah comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Perhaps vacationing in different areas of the country might expose you to a different gene pool. There is always the mail order bride. I would research where my best prospects are in the ratio of one gender to another. Iowa is very narrow in its politics which translates into less opportunities. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 11, 2021:

@Mooolah Sorry, actually not sorry, but I'm not going to drastically change my appearance or lower my expectations as far as a woman's looks or my dealbreakers on compatibility. You are correct that online dating makes it much more competitive than before it when all a man had to do to attract a woman was to meet her general expectations and standards. Nowadays, a guy not only has to meet those, but also be competitive with hundreds of other men at the same time that the woman has available to choose from on the dating site. So the average looking man gets left behind while the women go after or choose from only among the studs. As for the incel movement, no way, I am not a misogynist like those guys and will not drop out. I will just continue to be vocal about the struggle, whether you or other people, male or female, like it or not. I did not ask anyone for advice or to fix me, so they can shove their advice and judgement.

Anybody else from here live in the Midwest, like me?

Mooolah comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Perhaps vacationing in different areas of the country might expose you to a different gene pool. There is always the mail order bride. I would research where my best prospects are in the ratio of one gender to another. Iowa is very narrow in its politics which translates into less opportunities. I ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 11, 2021:

I do intend to travel some after Covid settles down, but I am not going the mail order bride route. I'm 62 years old, a bit long in the tooth for that. As for finding women to date while traveling, I tried an Alaska cruise that had an organized singles group on it and couldn't find any women from my area that were interested in spending time with me on the cruise. The two that did were each from one of the coasts and the one woman in the group from my area flatly refused to talk to me after someone else in the group steered me to her. Guess my looks were not good enough for her standards and she was very blunt about it. She was above average looking, but by no means gorgeous or a knockout. Like I have said countless times, I have no emotional support from family, so I get all of it from my local friends. I can't afford to move away for better dating prospects and leave the friends behind. Too big a risk, like doing acrobatics without a net.

Another oddball profile on Batch.

HippieChick58 comments on Mar 10, 2021:

She's selling the idea that her stuff will make up for her shortcomings, whatever they might be.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 11, 2021:

@RonWilliam53 I can see your point, but I would rather the woman just state that fact in her profile essay, saying something like " I am financially secure, etc.". I don't need to see visual proof of her living standard, I'll take their word for it until proven otherwise. As for the older women showing off their motorcyles and cars that are sporty, fine, I will respect that and consider that accordingly in whether I feel they are compatible or not. Since I am anything but materialistic and not into status symbols and toys, those kind of things in profile photos are kind of a turn off for me, at least. It suggests the woman is into those things and probably of a different mindset than me, like wanting a man that is a status symbol for them to show off to their family and friends of how rich or "successful" he is or was, what a catch, etc.

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 11, 2021:

@nicknotes I think that nowadays, when most women with a college education have enough money of their own, they are now thinking more like men and so choosing a man with good looks is now pretty important to most women. I just think most of them won't admit it. A while back I saw a FB post about the ex-fiancee of woman I was friends with. This woman is quite a looker and so are most of her female friends. It was rather telling in reading what this woman's friends had to say about the looks of her ex, who was photographed at a bar hitting on some woman, photo taken by a bystander that knew my female friend. Her friends had plenty to say about how he was bald, fat, etc. and clearly, in their mind, was not in her league lookswise. Fortunately, she was not as shallow as her friends and she ended up marrying a guy some months later that was balding, older than her, and clearly average looking compared to her knockout looks. No wonder she has not been able to fix me up with any of her female friends, tho she has said she will keep me in mind for that. Probably a waste of time, since her female friends are clearly not as open-minded as her about looks. But I bet none of them would admit it. But on that FB thread about her ex, they were thinking they were just having girl talk among themselves, so I got to hear how they really felt about looks.

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 11, 2021:

@nicknotes I used to know a woman from PWP. I once asked her why the group was all divorced people and didn't seem to include widowed people as well, maybe it did, I dunno. She said that she preferred to date and socialize only with men that had also been thru divorce and had shared her experience of being a parent. She was in her mid 40s at the time. I asked her, "Why not give widowed men and even childless men a chance if they are in your age group, as some of them are?" She said that it was more important for the man to have shared experience with her than for the man to have a better history of successful relationships than most divorced men. I told her that was a foolish attitude and that she was seeking sympathy and empathy over seriously trying to find a better relationship than her past marriages. She flatly refused to see my point and admit that she was practicing the definition of insanity. However, since she had knockout looks, she got more than enough interest and attention from men, and thus, had no incentive to look at herself and change anything about her on the inside.

Another oddball profile on Batch.

BitFlipper comments on Mar 11, 2021:

People seem to reflexively include pictures of things they take personal pride in. That's why men include pictures of fish and cars, and women include pictures of their grandchildren. Neither if which seem to have the intended effect.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 11, 2021:

You're right. The men's photos of cars and fish turn off most women and the women's photos of grandkids and their adult kids turn me off as the woman is too family-oriented for me, Next! I ? whether these very family-oriented women should even be on a dating site. I mean, what are they really looking for, a guy who will have sex with them during some of the woman's free time and spend the rest of his limited time with her that she allows as her escort on family visits to her kids and grandkids? Fuck that, I won't date a woman that makes it clear even in her profile that the man she dates is her third priority in life. I can't understand why there are apparently so many suckers that will settle for that. Maybe those guys should just find a woman for a FWB, since she would give them mostly the same thing as the family-oriented girlfriend.

Anybody else from here live in the Midwest, like me?

UrsiMajor comments on Mar 10, 2021:

I'm amazed at how many men in the dating scene seem to expect me to have kids and need them to be happy. I would think at some point, the kids are grown, move to the other side of the country, and you are left with your spouse to actually form an existence of some kind.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

@UrsiMajor I individuated and distanced myself from my parents as soon as I had been away at college for a while, as I realized how dysfunctional my family was and how emotionally unsupportive and critical my parents were of me. So for me, these family and child centered women in their 60s seem like aliens to me.

Anybody else from here live in the Midwest, like me?

UrsiMajor comments on Mar 10, 2021:

I'm amazed at how many men in the dating scene seem to expect me to have kids and need them to be happy. I would think at some point, the kids are grown, move to the other side of the country, and you are left with your spouse to actually form an existence of some kind.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

@UrsiMajor And the vast majority of women in my dating pool, esp. the divorced ones, are doing anything but that. I don't think it's healthy, and, apparently, neither do you. I know that most therapists would call that behavior emeshed and unhealthy, vs. being individuated and independent of your children and grandkids. Healthy people can still be involved with their families, but they do not cling to them to the exclusion or marignalization of an adult relationship with a partner. I think these women are afraid of attempting another one of those, but won't admit it.

Anybody else from here live in the Midwest, like me?

UrsiMajor comments on Mar 10, 2021:

I'm amazed at how many men in the dating scene seem to expect me to have kids and need them to be happy. I would think at some point, the kids are grown, move to the other side of the country, and you are left with your spouse to actually form an existence of some kind.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

Too bad you aren't living in my area. I am the opposite of those men and also of the women in my area. Even when they are in their 60s, the women still seem to be emeshed and wrapped up tight with their adult kids and their grandkids, rather than actually seeming to be that interested in getting to know a new man and spending most of their free time doing couple things. Which is why I seriously ? why most of them are on a dating site, unless they are mainly just seeking a sex partner that will serve as their escort for their family visits and someone to get their family to quit worrying that mom and grandma is still alone. In my dating pool, even with the women who are childless, being a childless man is the kiss of death with most of them. Conformity rules out over everything else here in corn country... It seems to me that, esp. the divorced women in my local dating pool on Match, seem to be hiding behind and clinging to their kids and grandkids as a security blanket instead of opening themselves to a new real relationship or partnership with a man, like they are protecting themselves against hurt or disappointment that might happen by letting a man become the main focus of their life again. In my opinion, those women should get some therapy and grieve their divorce instead of joining a dating site first like they seem to be doing.

Anybody else from here live in the Midwest, like me?

freedom41 comments on Mar 10, 2021:

I'm in the same boat you are.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

You probably are. IL is just as Bible Belt and Midwest family-oriented as Iowa, no doubt. How far away from Chicago is Jacksonville and how big is the pop. there? Would you agree that our kind of dating population would be much larger and better in Chicago? Why do you stay in Jacksonville, family or friends, same as me? In my case, I only stay because of friends. Just looked at your profile and it answers my ? Looks like you live in SW IL, far away from any cities of any size. I pity you the same as me. Looks like St. Louis, MO is the nearest area with any women that might be your type. And I bet that is still pretty LD for dating. Des Moines has a couple hundred women my age on Match that have some things in common with me, but very few that are my type. And for those I am competing with probably a few hundred or more men. Thus, the dilemma.

I'll let this stand on it's own for this group.

glennlab comments on Feb 28, 2021:

The difference is the pet owners are not organized like the child owners are. They banded together to bar discrimination, pet owners still haven't gotten over their preference for their pet of choice over other's choice. cats over/under dogs, fish over reptiles, birds etc.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

Ain't it the truth, like everything involving legislation and lobbying. Why do the rich, corporations, and the military get all the breaks and money from the govt.? Because they have so many lobbyists and the best ones. Childless folks, like all the rest of us peasants, have no lobbyists.

Another oddball profile on Batch.

HippieChick58 comments on Mar 10, 2021:

She's selling the idea that her stuff will make up for her shortcomings, whatever they might be.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

That was my take as well. Any healthy, well-adjusted person would have photos of just themselves, maybe of themselves and their kids or friends, but showing off your home and your cars instead seems very exhibitionistic or compensating. It's good to remember the nightclub comedian's slight exaggeration regarding profile photos, namely that the only photo most people want to see, esp. of a man, is a naked, or at least one revealing their build, pic of someone on a scale holding a financial statement that is visible to read...

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

@nicknotes At least she was honest, I'll give her that. She could have just held her tongue and got the free dinner, like most women who think like her would do. I can't count the number of women I've encountered thru online dating that expect a man to be a high status, high income white collar professional, or at least have the same kind of money as one, in order to be good enough for them. Her bluntness cost her a free dinner. Personally, I always meet women for a coffee meeting before I would arrange a dinner date with them. After a coffee meeting, in which I always offer to pay for the coffee, I can usually tell or end up finding out if I have enough bucks for them in their mind. The women make up their mind based on how I dress and what I say in the coffee meeting to decide if I am good enough or rich enough for them, so I never need to worry about wasting money on a dinner date with someone looking for a status symbol or a meal ticket. That woman proves in spades what guys have said for decades, that some women are only looking for men that are and have status symbols, like a sports car. No wonder those cars are called chick magnets, at least magnets for status seekers and golddiggers. I'm guessing your woman looked like a solid 9. I personally have never met a 10.

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

@nicknotes That's a rather extreme exaggeration, even tho I know it's sarcastic. There are plenty of good looking women in the profiles I see on Match. The problem is that almost all of them have traits that either run up against my dealbreakers and make them uncompatible for me, or they ignore my messages because I don't have the kind of looks or other qualities they are looking for. Remember that I only get replies to about 5-10% of the women I message. I have to think that looks are probably a big reason for that. Too many women that are a 6 or a 7 in looks that will not settle for 5 or 6 that is bald, not athletic looking, and doesn't dress like he has big bucks. At least, that's my guess for a lot of my rejections. The rest of them are probably accounted for because of my politics, being non-religious, and being childless, since all the family-oriented women only want men with kids.

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

@nicknotes Trust me, Nick, the country music dealbreaker is reasonable and necessary for me. It literally makes my skin crawl to hear it inside a home or a car. I grew up in a rural part of Iowa in a small hick city and I have done my best to keep my back turned on it as much as possible while still living in Iowa. I could handle dating a woman who liked country music some, but only as long as she respected my tastes enough to not try to drag me to a country concert or play country music in the car or home. I don't think that's unreasonable and there are plenty of people on either coast, or even in Chicago or Minneapolis that feel the same way, but don't have to deal with it because in their dating pools it's such a non-issue with how in those areas of the country, most people prefer rock, blues, etc. way more than country.

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

@nicknotes There are probably lots of things one could do, unethically, that would help in meeting the kind of woman I am after, but they wouldn't work out in the end. One could use fake photos of someone else in order to get a woman's interest. But after the first video chat or in person meeting, that cover would be blown. One could lie about their background or preferences in order to entice women who would otherwise screen you out based on your profile or messaging, but the facade would eventually fall apart after you had been seeing them a while. There are undoubtedly more examples that I am too ethical or lazy to come up with...

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

@nicknotes No, and that's why there would be no point in writing a book, etc., because I know how the game works, but I don't really have any ideas on how one can ethically work the game to improve your odds or my odds of getting the partner I want. If you already know what your dealbreakers are, and that they are necessary for compatibility with someone, you can't really afford to change those. The other big factor is one's looks. Unless you have the money and the willingness to get plastic surgery, there's also nothing you can do about your looks, other than hit the gym and build a better body. I'm not really interested in changing my face or body that much. So that's where it is, I have to get by using only what I have, both for looks and dealbreakers. And believe me, my dealbreakers are very reasonable, just not very well-suited to the dating pool in my area. I won't date someone that is a big fan of country music, won't date someone strongly religious, won't date a conservative, or someone who is strongly family-oriented, a heavy drinker or a daily smoker. Those are all reasonable and would not be much of a barrier on either coast or in a large city, but they sure as hell are in Iowa, even around its largest city, Des Moines. But I'm not going to date LD or move away from my friends just to get a better dating pool. I could also wear a rug or get hair transplants, since being bald is also obviously a big turnoff to a lot, if not most women in my local dating pool, even tho I think most of them would never admit it. But I'm not going to do that because if it's that big a deal to them, I don't want any of those women.

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 10, 2021:

@nicknotes I do. I could probably teach a class or write a book on it, but what would be the point? It probably wouldn't help the average person do any better in the game.

Love and mental health connection Anyone?

bobwjr comments on Mar 7, 2021:

Keeps you going and wanting to

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 9, 2021:

Having hope that you will possibly find a loving partner again is what allows most people to continue living and coping. Without it, most men fall into slow death thru decay and decline in their physical and mental health. That's why most widowers who remain single don't last that long.

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 9, 2021:

@nicknotes I agree that as I get older my sense of time about the past, as well as the present, gets distorted. I realize you were/are trying to be helpful, but, unlike a lot of the people on this forum, I do have it figured out, because, unlike most of them, I have been doing the research personally for some time now. I don't think there's anything wrong with pointing out that I know a lot more about the dating game than most people. It's just a sad fact. I also want to again point out to all that I do not post here to ask for advice, I post to share my experience, see if others have the same experience or not, and hear the comments, both validating and invalidating or differing from my experience, but not to get advice. The fact that many people apparently ignore or don't notice this is not my fault, it's theirs. And it's also not my fault if they feel butt hurt that I don' thank them for their unsolicited advice or kiss their ass. Listen, Nick, there is nothing to feel bad, hurt, or whatever about trying to be helpful, but having it revealed that you have nothing to add or help regarding my experience. So just chalk it up to a well-meant error on your part. We all do that from time to time, including me. I guess I'm different, being a former social worker who was married to a social worker, and having a few friends as well who are social workers, that I don't offer advice to people very often, and usually only after they clearly ask for it. It's not your fault that our society conditions people to believe that people sharing their problems automatically requires you to help or give them advice in order to prove or act as a nice or good person. You obviously are one, Nick, so you don't have to prove that every time to some stranger. I usually consider the likelihood that the other person knows as much or more about themselves and their situation than I ever will, so why should I automatically offer them advice?

Been off for a bit, password issues.

RobinGray comments on Mar 8, 2021:

Oh and to top that off, this afternoon another man emailed me. Conversation started off nice enough. He asked what it would take for me to meet him. I said I'm vaccinated and I expect the same, meeting is just that at first right now. He responded that he didn't need a vaccine he got covid last ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 9, 2021:

I got Covid last Dec., despite being very careful. My luck just ran out, I think. But instead of being in jail, I was only in a voluntary form of house arrest, lol.

Won't happen on the other side in Texas

mischl comments on Mar 9, 2021:

I like her, and I like her politics. But her smile can be scary...I worry that she might bite.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 9, 2021:

She does have a very intense. expressive face, which in photos may look scary. I have seen her speak in person, and in that mode she does not come off scary or even as that intense, just energetic and passionate. She is a love her or hate her sort of person.

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 9, 2021:

@nicknotes Man, you need to get out more. No, there haven't been personal ads since the 1980s. Before the internet, there were voice personals, which I used in the 1990s, after the regular print personal ads went away. The voice personals went away as soon as PCs came into use and Match.com began. I had way more success back when there were voice personals and I think it was for two reasons. One, the voice personals had no pics attached to your ad, so all you had to go by was the self description of your looks in the voice ad and the print ad that had your ad # in the newspaper that printed the ads. So people could lie about their looks, which I didn't but some women did, in my experience. So in that situation, an honest average-looking guy like me actually stood a chance of meeting a good-looking woman, unlike now with the photos as part of the profile. It made for some interesting first meetings. One time a woman showed up, reluctantly, and admitted to me that she stood at the door after seeing me waiting for her and debated with herself whether to actually come in and meet me rather than just stand me up because my looks weren't what she expected. I told her that she wasn't doing me any favors by coming inside out of pity or virtue signaling on her part. So in effect, I told her off and she left. Another woman, who was a true 9 in looks, the only 9 I've ever met in person from dating services, came in, politely told me she wasn't attracted to me after I sized up her facial reaction and asked her about it, but she sat down with me and watched the movie we arranged to see. That was the beginning of a great two year platonic friendship. She was as beautiful on the inside as the outside, like something out of the movie Shallow Hal. I also think the other reason I had more success, at least in getting to meet a good number of women from the voice personals, was that the gender ratio was probably a lot more even then than it ever is on dating sites. It's been widely reported that about all dating sites have way more men on them than women, no matter what age group is involved. Probably because women are more reluctant to use the sites and because men are more likely to do the pursuing, both IRL and on dating sites. So if women are getting attention IRL, more than men, they have less need and incentive to use a dating site. I've heard lots of women on Agnostic who are above average looking say they get plenty of attention from men IRL, so this is validated. Using dating sites, I have never met a woman in person who was better looking than an 8, and even then, it has been extremely rare. The photos are brutally important in that arena and I am resigned to the fact that I will be really lucky if I am ever going to actually meet anyone who is even a 7 ...

[youtu.

waitingforgodo comments on Mar 8, 2021:

The video does not support your ludicrously jejune contentions about the mainstream medical profession.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 8, 2021:

@Castlepaloma American lifespans are declining because of greater poverty, more unemployment, and, as a result of those less access to health care and adequate nutrition. Also greater stress and healthcare becoming more unaffordable once you get seriously ill. Those are the reasons for shorter lifespans, not crimes of the medical profession. You are a deluded fanatic.

Democratic Senator Kyrsten Sinema gives a nonchalant curtsy as she votes down legislation that would...

nogod4me comments on Mar 8, 2021:

She has always been a problem, vote her out.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 8, 2021:

Not likely in AZ. They would probably just elect a Repub instead if she got primaryed and lost.

How to be happy spending money.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2021:

In the last few years, I have inherited enough money, along with now getting SS Survivor's Benefits, that I am financially comfortable for the first time in my adult life. And unless I have a stroke or some serious illness that drains all my money, I am fairly set for life. But it's come at the cost...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 8, 2021:

@nicknotes I've been using Match for most of three years, little success. There's really nothing else to try that I haven't already done. Meetup groups are useless, been there, tried them. The women there are the same ones that are on Match and also the women at Meetup groups all tend to be traditional-minded Christians, so they are a waste of time there too.

Millionaire Moderate Democrats Vote Down Minimum Wage Increase While millions of American ...

1BrentMichael comments on Mar 7, 2021:

And they wonder why people think there's no difference in the parties! There is, but it's not enough!

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 7, 2021:

When it comes to issues of money and class, there really is no difference, which is why 80 million eligible voters drop out.

Well Joe, perhaps if you left some oxygen in the room for them, the Repudlican Party could survive.

nicknotes comments on Mar 6, 2021:

I can't imagine that any intelligent person could possibly vote for Republicans after not even one Republican voted for the 1.9 Trillion dollar covid aid bill.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 6, 2021:

@nicknotes I do too and what we really need is someone more like him than centrist, "Nothing will change" Joe..., but our system is too bought and corrupt while most of our voters are still too stupid and stuck in either dropping out or voting within the duopoly.

Klingenschmitt: I Lost My Navy Chaplain Gig 15 Years Ago Due to “Cancel Culture” | Hemant Mehta ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Military chaplains can be real assholes. I got sent to as catholic priest, fucking commander, asshole while in the Navy. I had put no preference in my religion and a "family" issue arose while on cruise. Long story, short answer, the dick priest pulled rank and ordered me to write a letter to my ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 6, 2021:

@yvilletom Time to block, you ass.

Klingenschmitt: I Lost My Navy Chaplain Gig 15 Years Ago Due to “Cancel Culture” | Hemant Mehta ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Military chaplains can be real assholes. I got sent to as catholic priest, fucking commander, asshole while in the Navy. I had put no preference in my religion and a "family" issue arose while on cruise. Long story, short answer, the dick priest pulled rank and ordered me to write a letter to my ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 5, 2021:

@yvilletom And why should I care?

Are you paying your Fair Share of Taxes [youtube.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Payroll and sales taxes are very regressive. The payroll tax gap is justified by the rich and their allies because the rich don't need Medicare or SS, and they also don't feel any obligation to support programs they don't need just to help their workers who create their wealth or pick their cotton, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 5, 2021:

@dermot235 Beats me. Tens of millions of us should have been after them with pitchforks, as well as after the pols they bought to screw us over. Maybe we let it happen out of a naive belief that the rich and the pols would never destroy or cut SS or Medicare. But that is now proving to be a foolish belief. As far as changing it, I have lost hope ever since Bernie lost again and then gave up. If he and AOC seriously tried to start a third party, I might have hope again. If our pols were actually responsive to the masses, we would have removed the cap on SS and Medicare taxed earnings long ago, restored the income taxes back to the pre-Reagan rates, and added a wealth tax, but our bought pols have done none of those.

It is believed a doctor died after receiving the coved vaccine.

K9Kohle789 comments on Mar 5, 2021:

I have so little trust in our government after the last 4 yrs I am inclined to believe when they give you the covid shot they're inserting RFID chips so they can spy on you more knowlegably. If you think I'm over reacting there are satellites that see thru your house, your pajamas and whatever ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 5, 2021:

I suppose that next you'll be saying that Soylent Green is people....

Saw another ridiculous profile today from a woman in her mid-50s from my area.

HippieChick58 comments on Mar 5, 2021:

That sounds to me like one hot mess. Who has time for that.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 5, 2021:

@JimG That type never seeks help. They delude themselves that the problem is completely with the guys they end up with and refuse to ever own any pattern.

Saw another ridiculous profile today from a woman in her mid-50s from my area.

RonWilliam53 comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Translation:I need some nice guy to take care of my emotional wants but some bad guy to get me off. A keeper for sure.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 5, 2021:

@RonWilliam53 True that.. Maybe she needs a friend who is a gay male to fill that role without jealousy.

Klingenschmitt: I Lost My Navy Chaplain Gig 15 Years Ago Due to “Cancel Culture” | Hemant Mehta ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Military chaplains can be real assholes. I got sent to as catholic priest, fucking commander, asshole while in the Navy. I had put no preference in my religion and a "family" issue arose while on cruise. Long story, short answer, the dick priest pulled rank and ordered me to write a letter to my ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 5, 2021:

@yvilletom Trying to insult me or do you just want to be blocked, Tom? My father served during the Korean War. I figure that's enough for my family. At least he enjoyed his service, but then again, he and I did not get along well..

Klingenschmitt: I Lost My Navy Chaplain Gig 15 Years Ago Due to “Cancel Culture” | Hemant Mehta ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Military chaplains can be real assholes. I got sent to as catholic priest, fucking commander, asshole while in the Navy. I had put no preference in my religion and a "family" issue arose while on cruise. Long story, short answer, the dick priest pulled rank and ordered me to write a letter to my ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 5, 2021:

One reason I would never join the military. It is a form of slavery and indentured servitude, the amount of power they hold over you. Even worse than in any civilian job.

Saw another ridiculous profile today from a woman in her mid-50s from my area.

HippieChick58 comments on Mar 5, 2021:

That sounds to me like one hot mess. Who has time for that.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 5, 2021:

@HippieChick58 Believe me, if a woman has the looks, no matter how psycho she might be, there will be guys that will be attracted to her, if for nothing but the sex and the challenge. Some guys can be just as addicted to drama as any woman.

Saw another ridiculous profile today from a woman in her mid-50s from my area.

RonWilliam53 comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Translation:I need some nice guy to take care of my emotional wants but some bad guy to get me off. A keeper for sure.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 5, 2021:

It also means that she will continually friendzone the nice guy she dates while the bad boy will score with her on the first or second date.

Saw another ridiculous profile today from a woman in her mid-50s from my area.

HippieChick58 comments on Mar 5, 2021:

That sounds to me like one hot mess. Who has time for that.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 5, 2021:

Her looks are above average and that by itself ensures she will get plenty of interest.

Good Advice

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 3, 2021:

I agree with that reasoning, but, human nature being what it is, most people who did the wrong thing during Covid will simply lie and give the PC response so they can avoid being rejected by people who did do the right thing during Covid. It's like asking someone from a dating site if they voted for...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 3, 2021:

@Dhiltong But I am always quite serious, and don't call me Shirley... (It's a joke from the movie Airplane!).

I never do THAT on a first date...Anyone want to add some lies...

azzow2 comments on Mar 3, 2021:

My brother would have his friend call him so he could coach his friend through the date. That must have been hilarious to watch through the wait staff's eyes.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 3, 2021:

@EyesThatSmile I wouldn't play that game either. I am honest enough to politely end the date if it's running too long or the woman is acting inappropriately. I think we could all benefit from coaching if it was thru a mic in our ears so it was not distracting or conspicuous, but that only happens on reality shows.

I suppose someone might quibble with the numbers (I haven't crunched them), but the point remains - ...

Marionville comments on Mar 2, 2021:

I agree...the disparity of wealth distribution is obscene ...especially when people are starving and struggling to pay for food and shelter...and yet the richest amongst us keep getting richer.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 3, 2021:

@Canndue As George Carlin used to say, " They call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe in it", well, I would add, you have to be asleep if you are sane and rational...

I suppose someone might quibble with the numbers (I haven't crunched them), but the point remains - ...

Marionville comments on Mar 2, 2021:

I agree...the disparity of wealth distribution is obscene ...especially when people are starving and struggling to pay for food and shelter...and yet the richest amongst us keep getting richer.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 3, 2021:

@Canndue The majority of them are ok with it because they have the delusion that someday either they or their children will become rich. They are sorely mistaken.

I suppose someone might quibble with the numbers (I haven't crunched them), but the point remains - ...

Marionville comments on Mar 2, 2021:

I agree...the disparity of wealth distribution is obscene ...especially when people are starving and struggling to pay for food and shelter...and yet the richest amongst us keep getting richer.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 3, 2021:

@Canndue They have their gated communities, secure private compounds for the super rich, with high tech security and their own private security forces. They don't even need the cops to protect them in most cases, unless a mob of thousands showed up with guns, in which case they would call in the cops to help out.

Happy birthday, Lou Reed.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 2, 2021:

Actually Lou disdained the whole hippie scene, as well as the fashion and the ethos, so it's ironic you posted this here. I think he identified more with the beatnik scene, esp. the Beat poets.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 2, 2021:

@Spinliesel Understood.

So over the last couple of months I've been making a foray into the online dating scene.

Julie808 comments on Mar 1, 2021:

I haven't been on a dating site for years, but if you don't find one that delivers the type of person you're interested in meeting, you might consider joining a meet up group for an interest you have. While the focus is not on dating, just socializing, the clubs I've belonged to have had several ...