TomMcGiverin's Profile

I have now received two letters from the Veterans Administration informing me me that I qualify for ...

KKGator comments on Mar 1, 2021:

I'm still waiting for my turn. As soon as it's available to me, I'm getting it. So far, I've been lucky and haven't gotten the virus, but I'm not about to play the odds if I don't have to.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

I got Covid back in Dec. and had only mild symptoms, but that may only have been because I had the Regeneron therapy a few days after I got sick. I will wait my turn, until likely this summer, to get the vaccine, but will take it as soon as it's offered. I will then get back out into the world and start living again by going to public events and attempting to date again, tho still wearing a mask when appropriate and not doing any tourist travelling until Covid becomes low risk. I am tired of living the hermit life for the last year and want to move on while I still have decent health.

Biden expresses support for Amazon union vote in Alabama: ‘Make your voice heard’ [cnbc.com]

FearlessFly comments on Mar 1, 2021:

The worker's share of profits has fallen throughout history and if the federal minimum wage had kept up with inflation it would be over $20/hr, if it had kept up with worker productivity it would be over $22, and if it had kept up with executive compensation it would be over $30.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

The worker's share of profits began falling in 1973 for several reasons: The Dem Party no longer supporting workers or unions, unions becoming weaker and more irrelevant as membership plummeted and unions were busted, automation, and finally, globalization of the world economy and lower-skilled jobs shipped overseas as manufacturing in the US was given away to China and other third world countries thru terrible trade agreements (that is terrible for everyone except the super rich and multinational corporations).

So over the last couple of months I've been making a foray into the online dating scene.

TimeOutForMe comments on Mar 1, 2021:

I gave up on these sites in 2012. I don't know of a "reliable" site and not interested in finding out any longer 😊

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

They are all about the same. Probably the best bet is to use the site that has the largest membership pool in your local area for your age group. In most cases, that will still be Match.com, simply because it has been around the longest, so it draws the most members simply out of name recognition and being popular so long.

So over the last couple of months I've been making a foray into the online dating scene.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 28, 2021:

No doubt about it, online dating is a cesspool. But the sad truth is that after age 50, when you're no longer in any kind of school and all your longtime friends are smugly married and not able to fix you up with anyone because they only know other married people, online dating really is your only ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

@TheoryNumber3 I hear you. At least the dogs aren't snobs and welcome petting from any nice person, more than you can say for the humans. It sucks to be older and single, not by choice. And I'm so sick of smug marrieds as well as some other singles parroting the party line that there is something wrong with me if I am still unhappy with being alone after several years of being alone instead of not embracing the bliss of singlehood, learning to love myself, and all that other happy horseshit they say to shut us up and criticize us as being dysfunctional and unhealthy for wanting to be with someone again and being vocal about it. As the Brits would say, " Bollocks to all your happy talk!".

So over the last couple of months I've been making a foray into the online dating scene.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 28, 2021:

No doubt about it, online dating is a cesspool. But the sad truth is that after age 50, when you're no longer in any kind of school and all your longtime friends are smugly married and not able to fix you up with anyone because they only know other married people, online dating really is your only ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

@TheoryNumber3 It does sound like they pitied you at first. If they later stopped including you, I can guess that the reasons were that you may have been seen as a threat to the security of their marriages or that your presence as a divorced person threatened their sense of security as a smug married that they could end up like you. Either reason could be something they were not even aware of feeling regarding you, but it still stinks and was very disloyal of them to stop including you and treating you as an equal to them. The funny, ironic thing is that after my late wife died, I attended a grief support group for widowed people for several months. This group seems almost like a variation of your group. They would have a monthly meeting which would mostly be a prepared program by a speaker and then a fellowship time while people ate treats that were brought. They also would have a monthly dinner at a restaurant so people could socialize some more and mix, but after attending a couple of those monthly dinners it became clear that the group was very cliquey and that I was never really going to fit in or be included socially there. It seemed that most of the longtime members grew up in Des Moines and attended one of the two high schools there that served the elite families there. And I grew up in another part of the state, so I clearly was never going to be included in that clique. And if that wasn't enough, it was clear at the first dinner that almost everyone there but a handful of people were already coupled up and dating each other.

So over the last couple of months I've been making a foray into the online dating scene.

BitFlipper comments on Mar 1, 2021:

The bullshit that comes with online dating is the same as the bullshit that comes with real-world dating. It's just compressed.

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

Exactly right, and so is the screening process. The advantage of online dating is that you can encounter, screen, and potentially meet so many more people than you could in several years of trying to meet people organically. It does save a lot of time and expose you to a lot more people in a short time, at least potentially.

So over the last couple of months I've been making a foray into the online dating scene.

whiskywoman comments on Mar 1, 2021:

its always harder for men lots of botts and women who pretend they are not there to get laid or that the sight of a cock offends them ..... and half of the women you talk to meet and some of the men also are liars they don't show up ..... also there are more men than women ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

I believe all of those are true. That's why an average-looking man meeting a compatible woman is really against the odds, esp. if, like me, you are a liberal, child-free hipster in the middle of a dating pool that is pretty much country music-loving, Christian, family-oriented women.

So over the last couple of months I've been making a foray into the online dating scene.

Julie808 comments on Mar 1, 2021:

I haven't been on a dating site for years, but if you don't find one that delivers the type of person you're interested in meeting, you might consider joining a meet up group for an interest you have. While the focus is not on dating, just socializing, the clubs I've belonged to have had several ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

Meetup groups are fine if you are needing more activities, need to make more friends, or need more socialization, but I have tried them for the purpose of meeting women to date. This was before Covid, and I already had enough friends and enough things to keep me occupied. I found that the same women who went to the Meetup groups were on the dating sites, so I quit the groups. There seemed to be no point to it since it duplicated my efforts on the dating site. I'm just saying that if your real interest is in finding dating partners, you won't gain anything by joining the groups, since the same people are already on the dating sites. As a practical matter towards meeting women to date from joining Meetup groups, the two things you might gain from the Meetup groups is that one, you might find a male friend that could be your wingman for attending public events where you could meet women, and, secondly, you might meet some other singles who could set you up with single friends of theirs.

So over the last couple of months I've been making a foray into the online dating scene.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 28, 2021:

No doubt about it, online dating is a cesspool. But the sad truth is that after age 50, when you're no longer in any kind of school and all your longtime friends are smugly married and not able to fix you up with anyone because they only know other married people, online dating really is your only ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

@TheoryNumber3 Thanks. I like to know what I'm talking about.

So over the last couple of months I've been making a foray into the online dating scene.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 28, 2021:

No doubt about it, online dating is a cesspool. But the sad truth is that after age 50, when you're no longer in any kind of school and all your longtime friends are smugly married and not able to fix you up with anyone because they only know other married people, online dating really is your only ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

@TheoryNumber3 And besides not being any help in fixing you up with anyone, the married friends also don't want to hear about your dating woes at all, probably because they find it threatening and they can't relate or understand it at all. So the only people you can gripe about it to are other singles and your therapist, lol.

So over the last couple of months I've been making a foray into the online dating scene.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 28, 2021:

No doubt about it, online dating is a cesspool. But the sad truth is that after age 50, when you're no longer in any kind of school and all your longtime friends are smugly married and not able to fix you up with anyone because they only know other married people, online dating really is your only ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Mar 1, 2021:

@Cyklone I'm 62 and it's already terrible trying to meet someone.

No Human Rights in Texas The people of Texas suffer unnecessarily from bad weather because their ...

altschmerz comments on Feb 27, 2021:

Someone told me he's heard people blame socialism for what happened in Texas. 🤦 Those are probably the same people who think Biden is a communist ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 27, 2021:

Anyone who puts the words Biden and far left, radical, socialist, communist etc. together in the same sentence if either a shameless liar or a complete ignoramus.

Is This any Way To run a Railroad? [propublica.org]

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 25, 2021:

Inside job, just like 9-11. They had the intel and knew it was coming. Could have stopped it, didn't want to. Same old shit, different people in command.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 27, 2021:

@BirdMan1 I don't know it all by any means, but I know from the info available that the commission report is as much a fairly tale as the Warren Commission, and for the same reasons.

I have lived in Portland five years!, not a single day of those years have I truly experienced ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 26, 2021:

I have no idea what it must feel like being black on a site made up almost completely of white non-believers. But I do feel your pain and understand, as do some other male members, what it's like to be part of another group of middle-aged and older men that it seems most women do not want to date, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 27, 2021:

@Humanlove You've had some interesting experiences, to say the least..

Is This any Way To run a Railroad? [propublica.org]

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 25, 2021:

Inside job, just like 9-11. They had the intel and knew it was coming. Could have stopped it, didn't want to. Same old shit, different people in command.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 26, 2021:

@BirdMan1 You're entitled to your opinion. Try debating it here and I'll block you. I won't waste my future time on someone who buys that whitewash job.

On being secretive - no photos.

Tutankhamun comments on Feb 24, 2021:

I've always hated having my picture taken and I literally run from camerss. I had a dating profile a while back and finding recent pics to post was painful lol. I dont feel I'm photogenic and do much better in real life. Needless to say online dating is not the place for me to find a date.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 25, 2021:

In online dating these days, the photos carry huge weight in who gets chosen for messaging and who doesn't. The messaging matters, but not nearly as much as the pics, like it or not.

Atheists and believers have different moral compasses | Live Science

Behind-the-dog comments on Feb 24, 2021:

Very interesting link. If I'm reading it correctly, I get the sense that the average nonbeliever's moral compass tends to function at a higher stage of [Lawrence Kohlberg's stages of moral development](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Kohlberg%27s_stages_of_moral_development) than the average ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 24, 2021:

I have always been fascinated by Kohlberg's Stages Of Moral Development. It's obvious that the more one is a conformist, which correlates with religious beliefs most of the time, the lower they are on the Moral Development Stages.

Basically, you I’m just looking for some attention I need someone that can keep my company and ...

Mooolah comments on Feb 24, 2021:

The site began as a dating site & evolved into a social discourse site. Some have met here. It is what you make of it.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 24, 2021:

@Mooolah There's no danger with them if one is reasonably intelligent in how you use them. My only injuries have been hurt feelings. The dating sites provide complete protection of your identity until the point that you decide to exchange phone numbers, e-mail addys or meet in person. All one needs to do before taking that plunge is trade enough messages to determine if the other person is stable enough to make that leap. After meeting in person, if you are concerned about your safety, you can always ask for their full name and run a background check online for $20. The first meeting should always be in a public place and so should the next few if you still need that for your own peace of mind. Nobody who is healthy would be offended with that. If one does FB, it's also possible to do a check on them if you ask them for their FB name and if you trade FB names with them, you could do FB video chats with them before meeting IRL. If the FB chat goes bad, you can always block them.

Basically, you I’m just looking for some attention I need someone that can keep my company and ...

Mooolah comments on Feb 24, 2021:

The site began as a dating site & evolved into a social discourse site. Some have met here. It is what you make of it.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 24, 2021:

For the vast majority of its members, Agnostic.com has never been a viable dating site. A viable dating site would be one with a reasonable number of members of each sex within reasonable driving distance. It would probably also have a decent number of each gender, within the driving distance, making up most age groups as well.

I watched some of the testimony by former Capitol Police Chief Steve Sund.

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 24, 2021:

It was an inside job. The rioters had help from some officers at the line level and, more importantly, help at the command level. Glad that the head of the Capital Police was canned and also the Sergant At Arms from both branches of congress also had to go.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 24, 2021:

@racocn8 They aren't Russian spies, just allies of Trump that wanted to see the riot and insurrection happen. Same as 9-11. The intelligence was there to stop it, but they let it happen because it served the agenda of the Bush admin. to get a war with Iraq, get their oil, and be able to pass a domestic survelliance act like The Patriot Act.

Republican Senators Propose Raising Minimum Wage From $7.25 To $10 | HuffPost

Theresa_N comments on Feb 24, 2021:

Senators should have to live on $10 an hour.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 24, 2021:

They should also have to settle for Obamacare health insurance coverage and have to pay the same % of their income for premiums as the rest of us peasants.

It will soon be March and the emergency $2,000 survival checks that Biden and the dems promised ...

Mooolah comments on Feb 22, 2021:

Biden can not do this alone. The House of representatives controls the purse strings. Then the Senate has to approve. For the government to send you a check is socialism. The gov't helping those that can not help themselves is socialism. Why do you think the government is responsible to help you. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 23, 2021:

@Mooolah I am lucky enough to have inherited quite a lot of money in the last few years. In fact, so lucky that between that and my frugal living style, I donated all of my $1200 check from Trump to my local food bank, and with Social Security Survivor's benefits, I was able to retire at age 60. I have worked hard most of the years before that, and was careful with what money I had and earned, but even then, I was earning so little that there is no way I could have ever retired and during this crisis I would have needed every penny of government relief. So are you saying if I was broke and ready to be evicted or starve, instead of being well off enough to give my government relief money away as charity, that I would deserve my fate? Being broke and needing government help often have very little to do with life choices and reckless spending and way more to do with health problems we are born with and being stuck in jobs that have no benefits and poor pay, which describes most of my working career, even tho I worked hard and tried to get the best jobs I could, but usually was turned down for them, even tho I was more than qualified. I just didn't know the right people and have the connections to get the jobs.

The last few weeks on Batch, I've been occupying myself, for amusement, out of boredom, and also out...

HippieChick58 comments on Feb 20, 2021:

I'm pretty much over trying to find someone special for some of the same reasons you mention, being judged by education, income, and looks. I don't want to play that game. I'm thankful to have my kids to help out as I get less able to do stuff because I'm pretty sure I'm going to be single for the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 22, 2021:

@RonWilliam53 Ok, that explains it, sorry.

America Has The Tinder To IGNITE Social Uprising - Chris Hedges [youtu.be]

yvilletom comments on Feb 20, 2021:

A few years ago, Hedges’ pessimism turned me off. He’s still at it.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 22, 2021:

@yvilletom I grew up in that same kind of home and I am still choosing to be alive. I can take realism and I prefer it to self delusion. I am proud of being realistic about politics and always telling the truth to others as well as myself. Different choices I guess.

The last few weeks on Batch, I've been occupying myself, for amusement, out of boredom, and also out...

HippieChick58 comments on Feb 20, 2021:

I'm pretty much over trying to find someone special for some of the same reasons you mention, being judged by education, income, and looks. I don't want to play that game. I'm thankful to have my kids to help out as I get less able to do stuff because I'm pretty sure I'm going to be single for the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

@RonWilliam53 I like your attitude and mostly share it, but I need to correct you on something. I have no kids, by choice, so if I don't find another partner, I am on my own when I get older or get disabled. I have only my several friends to lean on and all but one of them are my age or a little older. I don't want to put a burden on a future partner either, and that's one reason I'm not keen on marrying again. I'll just have to see if I find someone else to lean on or if it's my friends to lean on the rest of the way in. I do know I will not date anyone more than 8 years older than me since at my age or that age, anything can happen at any time with an individual's health. I don't want to be widowed anytime soon either nor be a caregiver again in the next several years. So I hedge my bets by dating as much as seven years younger and no more than 8 years older, and only with the older ones that are in good health and have good genes.

Rush Limbaugh dead at 70: A media blowhard for American capitalism - World Socialist Web Site

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 21, 2021:

Reagan and Rush deserve a lot of the blame for the rise in right wing populism, but so does the Dem Party for always effectively killing any left wing populism that ever rose as a response to Reagan and Rush, even as early as the 1980s. I remember how they crushed Jesse Jackson, Dennis Kuccinich, ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

@altschmerz I totally agree with the quotes in your comment. Today's Dem Party is only and all about privileges for women and minorities, mainly those of members of the upper-middle class members of those groups. They screw the working class every chance they get. I fucking hate ID politics and anytime I run into a white liberal who is middle or upper middle class and they start telling me how much better the Dems are than the Repubs based on some sort of ID politics policy, it tells me everything I need to know about how selfish and classist that person is....

The last few weeks on Batch, I've been occupying myself, for amusement, out of boredom, and also out...

bobwjr comments on Feb 21, 2021:

Tough out there

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

@bobwjr Ok then, I wasn't aware you are disabled that way. Fair enough, and I apologize for being harsh with you.

The last few weeks on Batch, I've been occupying myself, for amusement, out of boredom, and also out...

RonWilliam53 comments on Feb 20, 2021:

Wow-I was in the online dating pool for about a decade before I remarried (to someone I found online). Never had the problems you had and I'm a 5 at best (thoughI've been told I do clean up nicely when required). Met with single, divorced, widowed and open-relationship married. Beyond women who ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

@RonWilliam53 The fact is, I think, that everybody is judging others by looks, among other things, in the dating game, altho I think there are some who are not conscious of it on their part or they are conscious of it, but are too embarrassed to admit it. Fine with me if people are in denial or want to deny it, it's still a scientifically, proven fact. As for your crude statement, my take on someone who was dumped by someone in a divorce even tho they were great looking, is that what probably happened is that the behavior or mental state of the good-looking person became so intolerable to their partner that the sex and eye candy were no longer enough. I'm sure that happens a lot, tho not in most marriages involving beautiful-looking people. Think whatever you like, Ron, the studies of dating sites have always shown that the majority of the site members direct the vast majority of their attention and efforts towards the top 20% of the members, in terms of looks, of the opposite sex. This is true for members of both sexes, and it debunks the regular denials of most women that they are not as concerned with looks as men in the dating game.

The last few weeks on Batch, I've been occupying myself, for amusement, out of boredom, and also out...

Pralina1 comments on Feb 21, 2021:

One question b4 I give u my opinion : How old is she ?

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

@Pralina1 Thanks for your support and validation. First, a note of background and clarification. I have an undergraduate degree and a graduate degree, each from a different university. Both are unrelated to my driving career that spanned the last few decades of my working life. The woman I was writing about was aware of all this after I answered her two ?s during our video chat. I believe that her rejection of me as not being up to her standards on my work history and career history was for not being professional and high status enough for her and her friends to feel I was worthy of being with her. That is called classism and it's a form of discrimination and prejudice that I really detest. But it's very common in the dating scene and in how Americans choose who is good enough to socialize with and who to hire for jobs or include/allow admission into social organizations. I was a very bright and successful student in college, but I had a failed career in my chosen field that I studied for that lasted several years and thru three jobs in that field. After trying three times, I gave up and eventually found my niche in driving jobs. My degrees can be seen as wasted when it comes to my employment history, but they actually came in quite useful in my marriage, since I married a social worker and then later became her caregiver and guardian after she developed dementia. I have made the best of my lot in life, both before I met her and after she died. If anything, I deserve some credit for surviving and getting to this point in life, despite my career failure as a young adult. But in the mind of N., the woman from Batch, I am a failure across the board because I didn't succeed in the field I studied in college, regardless of the fact that, unlike her, I had a successful marriage and was a good and caring enough partner to see my wife thru her dementia. So N. can shove her judgement of me as not being good or professional enough in my work and career history to belong with her and her friends. I am mostly proud of who I am and have become in life. She also doesn't know that I was lucky enough to inherit quite a lot of money from my parents and my late wife, which is why, along with about 70K that I was able to save during the several years I was finally able to have a union job with good pay and benefits, and my eligibility at that age to receive Social Security Survivor's benefits, I was able to retire at age 60 and can afford to live comfortably, probably able to live a little better lifestyle than her, if I chose to. Finally, Pralina, as to my use of number ratings on the looks of particular people... I do that so my discussions of people's relative ranking of their looks in the dating game have some objective and concrete meaning. How else can one do ...

America Has The Tinder To IGNITE Social Uprising - Chris Hedges [youtu.be]

yvilletom comments on Feb 20, 2021:

A few years ago, Hedges’ pessimism turned me off. He’s still at it.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

@yvilletom I invited myself after you bashed Hedges because he tells the truth and promotes realism, both of which you seem to oppose. I reserve the right to call bullshit on anyone that tries to push others to stop telling the truth in the interest of being "optimistic". We have way too little truth being told in America. If you don't like my attitude, you can always block me. Until then, if you don't like it, you can shove it.

Just saw this documentary recently on Pluto TV.

WilliamCharles comments on Feb 20, 2021:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2PaAbmRJ9bQ

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

A fantastic movie that I own a copy of and have watched several times. I try to lend this movie to friends, if they can handle it. I own another movie, about poverty and the unemployment/disability system, called I, Daniel Blake. Same thing, something everyone should see. A Brit movie, that one.

America Has The Tinder To IGNITE Social Uprising - Chris Hedges [youtu.be]

linxminx comments on Feb 20, 2021:

"The problem is that most of the self-identified left...they have no relationships with people who have been victimized by this system." Such utter truth!! "If Biden were a politician in any other western country, he would be an extreme right-winger." Presidential candidate Andrew Yang wrote a...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

That is often true. American socialists are often quite snobby and have a disdain for the working class, who are quite aware of this, and it's one reason they don't embrace socialism and vote against their own interests over and over.

America Has The Tinder To IGNITE Social Uprising - Chris Hedges [youtu.be]

yvilletom comments on Feb 20, 2021:

A few years ago, Hedges’ pessimism turned me off. He’s still at it.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

@yvilletom I think the line from the movie, A Few Good Men, applies here, yvilletom.... "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth". I think over time, on these boards, you have proven to me that you can't handle the truth, at least not about this...

The last few weeks on Batch, I've been occupying myself, for amusement, out of boredom, and also out...

Pralina1 comments on Feb 21, 2021:

One question b4 I give u my opinion : How old is she ?

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

55, while I am 62.

Biden visits Bob Dole at home

HippieChick58 comments on Feb 20, 2021:

I thought Bob Dole had died already! I hadn't heard about him in ages. It disturbs me that a 97 YO is undergoing cancer treatment. How many more years can he really expect to get? If you got the money you can get anything.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 21, 2021:

I agree. At that age, I would just choose palliative care and live out my remaining days as comfortable as possible.

The last few weeks on Batch, I've been occupying myself, for amusement, out of boredom, and also out...

HippieChick58 comments on Feb 20, 2021:

I'm pretty much over trying to find someone special for some of the same reasons you mention, being judged by education, income, and looks. I don't want to play that game. I'm thankful to have my kids to help out as I get less able to do stuff because I'm pretty sure I'm going to be single for the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 20, 2021:

I hear you Paula. We are very much alike in the dating totem pole and I fear we will both be alone the rest of the way and die alone. The one difference is that I intend to stay in the game for at least several more years, if I can stand it that long, and try to cope with my lumps, from the battles of the dating scene, as they accumulate. The weird thing is that men, at your age, really shouldn't care about your education or income as long as both of you can pay your own way for the same lifestyle, both are intelligent and knowledgeable enough to have intelligent, equal conversations, etc. As for looks, both sexes do that and it does matter. Overall, women are a little more likely to be accepting of a partner who is less attractive than them, or be less choosy about looks, but, in my experience, most women are not really less picky about looks in a potential partner than most men are. The diff is that most men are honest and unapologetic about wanting a woman who is attractive looking while most women are afraid to admit their similarity in this attitude because they don't want to be seen as shallow or as mean or "not nice".

The last few weeks on Batch, I've been occupying myself, for amusement, out of boredom, and also out...

RonWilliam53 comments on Feb 20, 2021:

Wow-I was in the online dating pool for about a decade before I remarried (to someone I found online). Never had the problems you had and I'm a 5 at best (thoughI've been told I do clean up nicely when required). Met with single, divorced, widowed and open-relationship married. Beyond women who ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 20, 2021:

No offense, Ron, but you're right. Like me, you're about a 5 on the scale, so be glad you're no longer out there on the market, because it's very rough for guys like us. Still, even with my handicap on looks, if I lived in around a bigger city, or a more progressive area, it would probably increase my total prospects enough that I would have a much better chance of finding a woman who was a 6 or 7 that would be willing to accept a guy with my looks based on my other attributes and compatible traits with her.

Cats or dating? I vote for cats.

BitFlipper comments on Dec 24, 2020:

Just because you don't date for long periods doesn't mean you've given up. It can be that nobody accepts your invitations.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 20, 2021:

That pretty well sums up most of my dry spells, they aren't for lack of trying.. For people who are above average looking, the only non-dating periods are a matter of choice, as opportunities are always there for them.

The last few weeks on Batch, I've been occupying myself, for amusement, out of boredom, and also out...

RonWilliam53 comments on Feb 20, 2021:

Wow-I was in the online dating pool for about a decade before I remarried (to someone I found online). Never had the problems you had and I'm a 5 at best (thoughI've been told I do clean up nicely when required). Met with single, divorced, widowed and open-relationship married. Beyond women who ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 20, 2021:

Glad things worked out for you. The woman I got ghosted by clearly was not looking to be supported by me financially, nor should she have been worried that I would be freeloading off her, since I probably have a higher net worth than her tho her income is much higher. But she never even gave me the chance to get far enough to explain that in an appropriate moment. She clearly had standards that she wanted a man with an impressive career that she could present to her friends and family, nothing at all to do with affording a good lifestyle or being a capable partner. Who says some career women aren't seeking a trophy of their own in the hubby who is or was a high-powered professional? Seems most women care as much or more about status, way more than me. The women who seem to think I'm too young for them are mid to late 60s, not that much older than me, I don't get their reluctance except for maybe tradition and habit on their part of only dating men the same age or older their whole life. As far as age differences, my late wife was 16 years older than me and fortunately she realized early on that I was more serious and mature about relationships than most guys even older than me, but I think she was quite exceptional compared to most older widows I find on Batch. I might well be right for them, but they are too skeptical from my fellow men they've met to take a chance on a younger man like me. Oh, well....As for marriage, I am open to doing that again, with a prenup, but it's not a priority for me since I'm childless. As for women with worse finances than me, I probably want someone on about the same level as me and do not want someone who would be mostly dependent on me, because I would probably eventually resent it and also wonder if they were only staying with me as a meal ticket. Two things I am very sensitive about are being played for a fool or having my intelligence insulted or not recognized. The other is being used by someone. I cannot stand dealings with anyone that does any of these things to me.

I was just trying to log in to agnostic.

Paddypereira comments on Feb 20, 2021:

I had to reset my password. All good now.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 20, 2021:

@Paddypereira It probably was a security feature, that the site verifies or checks every once in a while to make sure accounts have not been stolen or hacked, etc.

I was just trying to log in to agnostic.

Paddypereira comments on Feb 20, 2021:

I had to reset my password. All good now.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 20, 2021:

I had to do that a few days ago. It wouldn't let me in until I reset my password.

Texas Republicans! 🙄

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 19, 2021:

All three are equally huge assholes. I can't pick one over the others.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 19, 2021:

@MichelleGar1 My two concerns would be the winters and the higher cost of living. I would have a much easier time there finding someone compatible and attractive to date, compared to Des Moines, but I'm not going to move just for that.

Texas Republicans! 🙄

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 19, 2021:

All three are equally huge assholes. I can't pick one over the others.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 19, 2021:

@MichelleGar1 If Iowa joined a new country of red states, I'd probably move to the Twin Cities, assuming I could afford it.

Texas Republicans! 🙄

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 19, 2021:

All three are equally huge assholes. I can't pick one over the others.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 19, 2021:

@MichelleGar1 Don't hold your breath. I realize you would have to move if it happened, but personally I'd be happy to see them secede.

Love George Carlin's political commentary. [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 19, 2021:

Does anybody recognize who the dickhead was debating Carlin there?

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 19, 2021:

@gigihein Thanks GiGi, you are on the case! I will give the longer video a watch. Watched it. The American Enterprise Institute is a think tank full of extremely conservative dickheads who promote apologist propaganda for capitalism, inequality, and corporate rule. His affiliation explains a lot. While he was making speeches about the importance of maintaining order and the danger of mobs, I couldn't help but want to see him now trying to pretzel dance his way into excusing the Jan. 6 rioters. Would love to see him grilled on that sometime on TV.

Love George Carlin's political commentary. [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 19, 2021:

Does anybody recognize who the dickhead was debating Carlin there?

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 19, 2021:

@gigihein No idea, that's why I asked.

Faced with real consequences for participating in insurrection, MAGA followers turn on Trump

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 19, 2021:

My fear is that most of them will never face much in the way of consequences for the riot, certainly not as much as they deserve. I am also disturbed that whoever killed that one cop does not seem to be likely to be charged with murder and also that Kyle Rittenhouse will probably never be convicted ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 19, 2021:

@rainmanjr I call bullshit on you regarding Rittnehouse. You are entitled to your opinion, but I saw the video and if you try to debate me on this, I will block you. No one has the right to shoot unarmed people that are running away from you, even if they did beat you up, as alleged. He is not a cop and vigilante justice is illegal.

I truly am sad and afraid for our kids

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 19, 2021:

Part of my reasoning in choosing to never have kids..

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 19, 2021:

@whiskywoman I think that is true with tons of women. There is so much social, peer, and parental pressure for them to have kids, that they just kind of fall into it without ever really thinking it thru and making a conscious decision. Hope it turned out ok or better in your case.

This is a Texas politician We owe you nothing

dkp93 comments on Feb 17, 2021:

Just another deplorable waste of skin. I read he was upset that his family was being harassed as a result of his heartless post. I hope they're strong enough to survive it, right?

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 18, 2021:

I sometimes use the expression, you may say (or think) Jesus loves you, but personally, I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.....

Seems Mexico needs a wall

mcgeo52 comments on Feb 18, 2021:

Send Bitch McCornhole to join him. Then bring them both back via Guantanamo with an indefinite layover.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 18, 2021:

But only after they've both been thoroughly water-boarded. Wish Cheney would join them there in it as well.

This is a Texas politician We owe you nothing

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 18, 2021:

Everything's bigger in Texas, including the assholes....

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 18, 2021:

@Mooolah Thank you. I try.

Kroger Closing More Stores to Avoid Paying Workers Hazard Pay Grocery giant Kroger, announced ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 18, 2021:

"Essential workers" is a phrase created to override the truth of "expendable workers."

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 18, 2021:

Expendable or disposable, same diff..

Does teaching "white guilt" also cultivate a "white pride" backlash?

Deb57 comments on Feb 17, 2021:

I would like to know what anyone thinks would warrant "pride" about having white skin. Unlike people of other nations and races, white people have never endured any kind of persecution, oppression, discrimination, or marginalization purely due to the color of our skin. We are the only race that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 18, 2021:

That commandment says it all and is all we can ask of ourselves.

Is it just my imagination, or did Match, and probably all the other dating sites as well, get rid of...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2021:

Update: It's also significant that Match eliminated some of the trait checklist that would tell a viewer what the member was looking for in a partner, such as race, income level, baldness or hair color, religion, height, etc. You can still see if they are looking for someone with kids or not and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 17, 2021:

@VertLyfe I'm guessing more likely that you are only messaging 7s, 8s, and maybe an occaisional 9.

Is it just my imagination, or did Match, and probably all the other dating sites as well, get rid of...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2021:

Update: It's also significant that Match eliminated some of the trait checklist that would tell a viewer what the member was looking for in a partner, such as race, income level, baldness or hair color, religion, height, etc. You can still see if they are looking for someone with kids or not and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 17, 2021:

@VertLyfe I didn't say that. Look carefully at what I wrote. I said that most people direct their efforts mainly at people who are the same level of looks as them, as well as some who are higher up the scale than them. And then, those people that are contacted tend to only be looking for those on their level and higher. The logic of what I'm saying is that if you contact a significant percentage of people who are on your level or higher, they will mostly reject you as they are looking mostly for people who are better looking than you ( and them as well, for that matter. Everybody is trying to trade up, so to speak, at least some or most of the time). And round and round it goes. As I said elsewhere, the end result of dating sites is that most people crap out on them and a small lucky minority that make up the 8s, 9s, and 10s end up doing all the dating and sex from the site, with that being maybe a slight exaggeration and over- simplification. You get my point.

Is it just my imagination, or did Match, and probably all the other dating sites as well, get rid of...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2021:

Update: It's also significant that Match eliminated some of the trait checklist that would tell a viewer what the member was looking for in a partner, such as race, income level, baldness or hair color, religion, height, etc. You can still see if they are looking for someone with kids or not and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 17, 2021:

@VertLyfe I've been using Match the last couple months as an unpaid member because they allow me to message one member for free each day and if the woman replies to me, we can trade messages for free for a limited time. So far it looks like they allow that for the unpaid member for at least two months of that, maybe three. I have not had an opportunity yet to test if I could use, as an unpaid member, their video chat function, so we'll see if that too is allowed. I do not plan to pay and sign up again as a paid member until this summer, after I am either vaccinated or the Covid situation is improved enough that I can realistically assume most women are willing to meet a man from Match and risk Covid based on what a stranger has told them about their Covid safety habits. The same goes for my own willingness to risk meeting someone from Match at this time or later. I would be very careful about meeting someone until both of us are vaccinated. I think you are on the mark when you say that many or most guys at this time don't want to pay in order to be able to reply to a woman's message. I know I won't pay for a membership at this time because it's so unlikely that most women I message would agree to meet me since my looks are only average and I want to date someone who is at least average looking, maybe more than that on the scale. Match keeps notifying me about the numbers of women that have sent me Likes or Messages, even how many have viewed my profile, but I'm not gullible or desperate enough to pay to find out, esp. because many of them could be fake or old profiles that are no longer active.

Is it just my imagination, or did Match, and probably all the other dating sites as well, get rid of...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2021:

Update: It's also significant that Match eliminated some of the trait checklist that would tell a viewer what the member was looking for in a partner, such as race, income level, baldness or hair color, religion, height, etc. You can still see if they are looking for someone with kids or not and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 17, 2021:

@VertLyfe Ok, thanks for the further explanation. Now I am going to say what I was already suspecting regarding your experience with getting so few replies from men. First off, I want to note that you are at least more than average looking. I see you as more attractive looking than most women on Match. Next, you say that you are ok with sending the first message to a man if you find him physically attractive based on the photos and info. If there is not much info, you fall back to sending a Like to the man, instead of a message if their photos are attractive enough to interest you in them. Agree with me so far on how I'm hearing this? I suspect the reason you get such a low reply rate from guys for your messages sent is because most of the men you are messaging are in the top 20% or so, lookswise, of the men on the site in your dating pool. And even tho you are well above average in looks yourself, maybe a 7 or an 8 if you want to get crass and objective about it, the guys you are sending messages to are mostly seeking only 8s and 9s, and getting plenty of response and attention from them. So you may be getting rejected by most of the guys you message because you are trying to date just a little out of your league, lookswise. Don't feel bad, about everyone does it and gets the same kind of response rate, including me, when I message women who are a 6, 7, or 8. Most of these women are higher on the looks scale than me, some of them aren't. And I get the same response rate as you. As for sending Likes instead of messages to men, most men, including me, don't put much stock in a woman sending me a Like, even tho I will usually reply with a message to a woman's Like, but only if her pics and info interest or attract me regarding her. I don't automatically reply to all messages from women either, not if her info and photos do not interest or attract me. It's not worth it in that case because it only gives the woman false hope and encouragement, sometimes leading to her asking me to explain why I'm not interested or attracted. Those situations only end badly, as you can imagine. Match is no better or worse than the other sites and the trends run the same way on any paid dating site like that. I recommend Match only because in most parts of the US, at least, it has the largest local dating pools of any site for most age groups, including seniors.

Is it just my imagination, or did Match, and probably all the other dating sites as well, get rid of...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 11, 2021:

Update: It's also significant that Match eliminated some of the trait checklist that would tell a viewer what the member was looking for in a partner, such as race, income level, baldness or hair color, religion, height, etc. You can still see if they are looking for someone with kids or not and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 17, 2021:

@VertLyfe Can you elaborate more about what you mean regarding replies from men? I'm not sure if you mean that you yourself have approached a lot of men with initial messages or something else by your statement. I know from my own experience as well as chatting with women from the sites I used that few of them would ever make the first move and message men first, instead of always waiting for men to message. I will comment more on what I think is going on with your experience once I hear more from you.

Does teaching "white guilt" also cultivate a "white pride" backlash?

nicestuff comments on Feb 17, 2021:

My ancestors, on both sides of my family, were poor Polish peasants who immigrated to the US in the 20th Century. Being Slavic, one can presume my ancient heritage was more in the slave ("Slavic" means slave) category than in the overlord category. Being descendant of Polish nationality ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 17, 2021:

My ancestors who first came to America undoubtedly had it rough, since back then they were discriminated too for jobs- the old signs used to say back then "No Irish Need Apply", but at least they had rights that blacks and Native Americans did not have in the society. By the time the first members of my family came to Iowa after the Civil War, they were able to get land and be farmers, because they were white, so they had it easier than the ones who first arrived in America in New York. So they had reason to be proud of overcoming their limited obstacles, but they also, as an ethnic group, benefitted from the dominant white society deciding after their group had been in America a while to include them fully into white society, and they reciprocated by adopting the racism of seeing blacks and other minority groups as inferior to them and carrying out the dominant prejudices, esp. against blacks.

For someone who did so much damage to American democracy, and contributed to poisoning the minds of ...

glennlab comments on Feb 17, 2021:

My question is how many days will his grave be urine free this year?

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 17, 2021:

I'm sure that instead of a grave his remains will end up in some high security family crypt, like most rich people, so that peasants and commoners are unable to visit and desecrate their grave. Sort of the cemetary equivalent of gated communities.

New form fitting clothing for men... 🤔😂🤣

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 17, 2021:

Reminds me of something out of the movie A Clockwork Orange...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 17, 2021:

@EarnestEccentric That's just sick or not right in some sense....

Texas Republicans Beg Biden for Help Weeks After Endorsing Secession Bill In response to a huge...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 16, 2021:

They deserved for Biden to tell them to shove it, same as Trump would have told a blue state in the same boat. Dems are such pussies.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 16, 2021:

@BirdMan1 I remember very well in the 1980s how Reagan, the same as Trump, got lots of votes from working class Americans who, even tho they disagreed with some or many of his policies, voted for and supported him because he was respected as a warrior who was tough, both with the Russians and the Dems. Bernie understands that, but most of the other Dems in congress, esp. the leaders like Pelosi and Schumer, do not get that or else do get it, but just want to fail at getting anything done.

Texas Republicans Beg Biden for Help Weeks After Endorsing Secession Bill In response to a huge...

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 16, 2021:

They deserved for Biden to tell them to shove it, same as Trump would have told a blue state in the same boat. Dems are such pussies.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 16, 2021:

@BirdMan1 That may be, but most voters in the middle, esp. working class voters, will not support someone who is perceived as weak. They vote for people who are willing to fight and play political hardball, who are warriors. That was a lot of Trump's appeal to former Obama voters. Biden does not have any of that image, because that's not him. He keeps preaching platitudes about unity and seeking non-existent bipartisanship, which is why he looks weak and cowardly instead of playing hardball, telling the Repubs to shove it, and passing the Covid bill with reconciliation. You may prefer a kumbaya approach to politics, but that is no longer realistic and relevant. Biden's passive, weak approach will come back to bite him in two years with the midterms and also in four years against whoever the Dems run to replace him.

The price of being single |

EarnestEccentric comments on Feb 15, 2021:

I have married for religion, then for money, then for sex, then for selfless love... all went badly. Everyone has their own interpretation of what everything is and what everything means, but we all run around acting as if it's all the same. It's not. The only way a marriage can continue is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 16, 2021:

@EarnestEccentric To each their own.

If You Had To Choose?

anglophone comments on Feb 15, 2021:

I would choose Buddhism, and certainly *not* Hindu.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 16, 2021:

@Mvtt Bores me and puts me to sleep. I prefer reading.

The effect of rich in politics,

LenHazell53 comments on Feb 15, 2021:

War, community and economic depression had made people more humane. Social media, self entitlement and greed have stripped all away those traits. Appreciation has been replaced with criticism, satisfaction with enough has been replaced with dissatisfaction with excess, community spirit superseded ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 15, 2021:

We have a very sick society and the Repubs represent the worst of it.

Secular Dating

NoMagicCookie comments on Feb 14, 2021:

Find a secular partner? lol? Because of my high standards (must be secular) I am alone and will likely remain that way. Good luck.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 15, 2021:

@NoMagicCookie I can relate. I hope things improve, for both of us..

The price of being single |

TomMcGiverin comments on Feb 15, 2021:

I was with my late wife from 1995 to 2015, when we were medically separated because of her dementia getting bad enough that we had to live apart until her death two years later. I kept visiting her regularly after we had to live apart. Before her dementia began in 2011, those 16 good years with her ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 15, 2021:

@rainmanjr Thank you. I've been done grieving for a few years now. The challenge is finding love again, which is the ultimate step in moving on. I saw and experienced some really bad stuff, as did she, in her last years. I want to get on with enjoying companionship and getting the opportunity to love again. Limited success so far, with only a six month relationship that ended with Covid. Ready to try again this summer with Match.

Families boycotting Publix grocery chain as heir donates 300k to defense fund of Capital rioters.

Lucy_Fehr comments on Feb 15, 2021:

It was not to a defense fund. It was donated to the rally that preceded the riot

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 15, 2021:

I'm still in favor of boycotting any business that donates money to the Trumper cause in any shape or form.

Secular Dating

NoMagicCookie comments on Feb 14, 2021:

Find a secular partner? lol? Because of my high standards (must be secular) I am alone and will likely remain that way. Good luck.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 15, 2021:

Sorry to hear that. I hope you are proven wrong. We all deserve love, at least those of us that are not wicked... Besides your high standards, I suspect that where you live is also a strongly negative factor in finding a compatible partner. Iowa is not much better, but ND has to be worse for that.

If You Had To Choose?

anglophone comments on Feb 15, 2021:

I would choose Buddhism, and certainly *not* Hindu.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 15, 2021:

Same here. But I would resist doing the meditation.....

The price of being single |

EarnestEccentric comments on Feb 15, 2021:

I have married for religion, then for money, then for sex, then for selfless love... all went badly. Everyone has their own interpretation of what everything is and what everything means, but we all run around acting as if it's all the same. It's not. The only way a marriage can continue is ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 15, 2021:

I respect your experience and you have the right to your opinion, but I disagree with your analysis and assertion that all great marriages have to come down to one person being the sacrificer and the other being the fulfilled recipient. I suggest there is another way, in which both people compromise and sacrifice for the good of the relationship and each other. My marriage was truly a partnership between us until she got dementia, because that is what we both wanted going into it and we were both stubborn and strong enough to ask for what we wanted from the other and hold our ground about getting it. Marriage can be whatever the two people want it to be and are willing to work for and agree on. I hope I am not considered to be too idealistic or unusual, but that was my experience during the good years we had.

A Bible Thumper told me that “Covid has been around for thousands of years - the is using it as an...

Gator comments on Feb 15, 2021:

I'm good with people going to church and not wearing masks. It's classic Darwinian survival of the fittest and this seems like a good way to cull the herd.

TomMcGiverin replies on Feb 15, 2021:

@Organist1 And the worst part is that professional ethics require health care workers to treat them regardless of their behavior and risk their lives being around these maskholes..

Life is to short to wait for love to come to you. That’s why we are all here searching.

HeAdAkE comments on Feb 8, 2021:

Ur not searching if ur a woman ur riding the CC and keeping ur standards sky high and then hitting the wall its simple biology and what we have become woman have the ability to pick as they please, even if theyre fat n nasty dating is dead