TomMcGiverin's Profile

Do age gaps matter to you?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Age is less important than other compatibility factors, including level of health and fitness, which can vary widely between people of the same age due to lifestyle and genetics, as well how how young their thinking and interests are. Most people my age in my area want to spend their time watching sports either at the game, in the bar, or on the couch or having parties with friends and family, maybe playing cards too with family and friends. I'm not interested in those things at all. I would rather be out hearing live music, singing karaoke, attending a poetry slam or live theater, maybe a trivia event. All of these types of interests seem to attract younger people who are hipsters rather than folks my age. I wonder what the nursing homes, retirement communities, and senior centers will be like in ten-20 years when I am the same age as most people who hang out in those places? Will they have rock music playing in the background as well as when live performers come in? Will there be trivia events or karaoke instead of card games and bingo? I hope so, but hopefully I will be healthy enough and involve enough with a partner that I don't have to be there or care.... One thing that I know will never change at those places from now, at least in my area, is that there will always be country music (which I hate) which will be played at least some of the time, as well as religious music and worship services being offered at the nursing homes and retirement communities for those that seek it out there. The country music will probably be played even in settings where residents have to choice but to be there, like at meals.

I'm a substitute teacher.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Glad I am retired, so I can say, believe and live whatever way I want to within the law. I got so sick of how freedom of speech and belief had to be checked at the door of every job.

Anyone in Tulsa, OK? I’ll be there Sunday.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Must be visiting the one Unitarian outpost of sanity in the middle of Jesusland......

When I was small, growing up on a Haiti mission in the 1950s and 60s, we children sometimes played ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

If I had your psychic ability I would use it to track down the one or few people in my area that were compatible for me to date and mentally influence them to want to meet me. By that logic you should already have found your match(es).

Do age gaps matter to you?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

8 years younger would be fine and mean nothing to me, but, at least in my area on Match, almost no women will date a guy 8 years older like me (I'm 60). And also in my area, where almost all the women are so family-oriented, even the ones without kids, that not being interested in kids, like me and you, is usually a dealbreaker with any of the women. I'm guessing the men are not so rigid about having kids. In fact, almost all the women my age on Match are looking only for men who already have kids, even the ones who don't have kids themselves. The childless by choice lifestyle is very uncommon here, more rare than gay and lesbian people, not that that's a lifestyle, just a comparable demo group. I feel your pain, but if I were you I wouldn't be put off by eight years on all men. There are some rare ones like me that are childless by choice and still pretty mature for their age. I was back then, but none of the women who had kids or wanted them would give me a chance then. Met my late wife when I was 37 and finally found a match in someone who was much older than me, had no kids and didn't want them, and wasn't close to her family. But she was like the needle in the haystack for women in my area. She was 16 years older than me and we had the same level of maturity and energy, so it worked. You live in Ohio, so you probably run into all the same dealbreakers as me regarding culture and lifestyle, since the Midwest is about all the same.

Just to Note: I think I was just Blocked by someone.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

According to my current count, I have now blocked 11 people and am probably blocked now by at least half that many or more. I really no longer care about either of those things. I have strong opinions and I state them on the boards without mincing words. Nowadays, on Agnostic, it seems like many people cannot stand to have disagreement with others without going into attack mode and getting personal about it. When someone does that to me or seems to be showing up on thread after thread with me and appearing to be trying to pick a fight with me and criticize me as well as my opinion every time, I consider that person a troll who is just trying to bully and harass me. So I block them. They all know who they are, even tho they can't read this. I think I have a lot of company on this site as far as these experiences. I don't know what the answer is to avoid or reduce this trend, because these boards should be about open and honest sharing and even debate, as long as there is not harassment, abuse, or personal attack involved in passionate argument, debate, or disagreement.

I've been signed up for cryonic suspension with Alcor for over 15 years.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

The future looks pretty bleak for us humans, esp. in the US, that I really don't want to be around when the shit really hits the fan, if things don't radically turn around very soon. And I'm not just talking about climate change. I can see conditions like the movie Soylent Green beginning before the end of my natural lifetime, so I don't want to be around for more than another 15-20 years if I'm right about this, regardless of my state of health by then. As Krushev once said about nuclear war, The living will envy the dead... If so, I don't want to be around to see it. On top of that, I don't feel I am so important or special that I need or deserve to be preserved or pass on to a future world after my natural death thru freezing or cyberspace. In the end, I'm no different than any other animal that exists and dies on this rock and should just pass into the dust. Which is also a reason I believe in cremation with no burial or storage of my ashes. Once everyone who knew me is dead, I too am gone for good and it really doesn't matter where my ashes went after that. No different at that point from some animal that lived and died in the wild.

The single life be like....

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

I guess I'm too old to get the phrasing, Alone But Skilled. I am familiar with what Photoshop is.

Great concept.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Nice wish.

The joys of dating. 😞😝

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

Try it when you are 60. There do seem to be a lot of damaged goods and leftovers.

I haven't been here much lately.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 19, 2019:

How did you meet him, on Agnostic? I would be very surprised if you did. Is he long distance or local? Seeing your location on your bio, I'm guessing he is LD and from Agnostic. His traits are so offbeat and rare among the general pop,, it sounds like you found a unicorn.....In my local area, someone with those traits would be a unicorn....

It was a trap, one of 'em even started PURRING as I came in for the shot! Resistance was ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

Such big ears all...

A moral question- Should I do work for someone that has ties to the kkk?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

I hear you man, and sometimes you do what you have to do. I remember one time when I was underemployed and really desperate to find a job with benefits and better pay before I got too old to get another job in the college town labor market I was living in. I was really faced with a dilemma of having to get another job soon that was better or else settle for looking in a different city without a college town labor pool and commuting to work down there for work. I saw an ad for a small family business that produced a medical product for horses that provided benefits and better pay. I answered the ad and interviewed for it. I found out the catch was that everybody there, including the owners who also ran the place, were all Bible thumpers, who would even pray together when they ate lunch as a group together each workday. NFW could I stand working in that social environment, so I wrote the person who interviewed me an apologetic letter turning her down on the job and saying why. I also called after mailing the letter and told her on the phone that I was bowing out of the process and that she would be getting a letter explaining it. What's funny is that after she got the letter, she actually called me, somewhat defensive, and instead of thanking me for being honest about being Agnostic and not wasting their time further, she said that they would have found me out on my lack of religion really soon anyway and that I was being somewhat dishonest to have applied there in the first place. WTF? I told her that nothing in the ad said their business was a Christian business and how am I as a non-believer supposed to know which businesses are " Christian" and which are not? I told her maybe they need to put that in their job ads, but that if they did they could maybe get sued for religious discrimination. This was over 15 years ago. Sometimes you have to draw the line about who you can stand to work with when their values are so different than your own, but one thing I know is that it would be very difficult to fake it and pretend to fit in when the people you work with are racists or Bible thumpers.

Make America what again?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

As I said on another thread, the real slogan of MAGA is Make America White Again, but they're just too damn polite to come right out and say it.........But after more than three years, I think most people have figured it out or got the memo by now.....

My new Cat Shirt. As you can see, Pixie seems to like it...I think ;)

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

Really cute.

Strong women and men don't the victim.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

I totally agree. I own my choices and mistakes, but I also don't take shit from anybody that's undeserved. And I do believe in giving back to assholes that dish it out to me, as well as getting even, within the limits of the law and protecting my own safety.

[heyalma.com] My date with a Jewish doctor went horribly wrong. A funny story.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

My take? Too many women go gaga over the idea of dating a doctor or lawyer because they make big bucks and have a high status job, so they date them over guys that don't have those kind of jobs and bucks, but might actually be more compatible and treat them better. But at least in this case, the woman came to her senses and got over her infatuation with the guy's profession and ethnicity, altho by then he had already dumped her and beat her to the punch. I give her more credit than a lot of women, who, if the guy doesn't dump them first, will put up with a lot of crap from a doctor or lawyer just to be with someone who has that kind of bucks and status, even if the guy is abusive or cheats on her. I see those arrangements as a form of prostitution-lite or sugar daddy, but that's just me..... And yes, gang, I know it goes both ways. Most guys will put up with about anything to date or be with a woman who is an 8 or a 9 just for the sex and the status of being with someone great-looking. People make their bargains, consciously or not, and get in the end what they deserve in those cases, at least in my eyes.

PRO-BERNIE -- THIS'LL MAKE YOU MAD -- I love Bernie.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

Mayor Pete is the same old BS of the Dem establishment, namely pushing candidates and policies that are all about identity politics and no progressive policies on economic fronts or on inequality. So Pete is a religious gay man, big deal. I'm not surprised, in fact, I've been telling people for the last two years that after Hillary, what else would the Dem establishment have left to try to distract us with identity politics candidates? I said it would be a gay male Hispanic. I wasn't that far off...... Guess you don't have to be paranoid when they really are out to get you.....It really is this simple, if the Dems nominate Bernie, he will beat Trump, unless the Dem leaders sandbag him the way they did McGovern by not supporting him in the general election of 1972. If the Dems instead nominate a centrist candidate instead of Bernie, they will lose. Their choice in nominee will tell you everything you need to know about the priorities of the party leaders, whether it's preventing progressive candidates and policies, or whether it's instead about winning prez elections. I already know it's about the former, it's just that this time the corruption will be so clear if they screw Bernie again that nobody will be fooled about what happened...

People always say, "rest in peace" but why the hell can't we just live in peace?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

I like the phase used by the Black Lives Matter movement, " Rest In Power". But then again, that phrase is only used for those who are martyred.

... and I do them very well! 😼

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 18, 2019:

I love seeing evil cats online.

One of my coworkers told me about a dating site called The Hinge? Anyone used it or heard of it?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 17, 2019:

Too youngish for me....Think I may have already heard the name before, nothing else about it.

Are you a ritual defier?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 17, 2019:

I really don't notice or care about trivial things like that. I probably do a lot of things in the course of a day that are done in a ritual manner of the same way every time, but I'm oblivious to it.

Agree or disagree?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 17, 2019:

Would be nice, but it now seems pretty unlikely. Seems like few singles take the opportunity after a divorce or breakup to get some counseling or therapy so they go right back out to the dating market without taking a look at themselves, learning anything new about themselves or how to treat others, or changing to become more kind or sensitive. So that's why we get what we get on dating sites. My guess is there's an epidemic of thinking that the problem with the relationship was all the other person and having the wrong partner. At least, going by the essays in the profiles of the women I see on Match, that attitude seems to be extremely common. I would love to see and would jump at the chance to message a woman who actually admitted in her essay that she has baggage, learned from her divorce and got some therapy or counselling, but in 18 months on Match the most I have ever seen of that kind of thing in an essay was someone admitting they have baggage, and it was very rare, maybe one in a couple hundred or so, that I even saw that.

Just in case someone was wondering what it looks like when you fracture 4 vertebrae and then have to...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 16, 2019:

Jesus Christ that looks brutal. I hope you are better now with it done.

I really don't get it.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 16, 2019:

When I look at that photo of those fools in their sheets and uniforms, it really does smack of Forrest Gump's saying, " Stupid is as stupid does"..

What is the proper wait time etiquette when hooking up with someone who your friend likes?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 16, 2019:

I'm not qualified to answer as I'm twice your age and I don't do hookups, I do relationships that include sex later, rather than at the beginning... To each their own.

Are you happy?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

No, I'm not. I'm actually worse than when I was watching my late wife suffer and die because back then I at least had some hope that I would meet someone else later and had more support in my life than now from friends. Now that I've been widowed two years and been alone for that long, my friends are now seeming burnt out on supporting me. Also, when my wife was suffering and dying, I knew that an end would eventually come to that process of her disease, but as far as this being alone for the rest of my life, there's no end in sight. So it's worse than being the caretaker spouse of someone with a terminal illness.

The site is called agnostic.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

I agree with much of your post, but next time, please try some paragraph breaks. It will make your post more understandable and encourage more people to read you, which I hope they will, as you are intelligent and with much to say.

The Alberta election is making my head hurt. No real good choice,

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

In my state, as well as the US as a whole, every election at the statewide or fed level of office is always about the lesser of two evils.

I'd take her home in a minute!

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

That cat is so unusual looking, but still cute.

Oh, I think its definitely spiritual.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

Yes, all of it is, even country music. But I still hate it. Just too alienating for me. Willie, Johnny Cash, and The Dixie Chicks were the only country artists that I respected or could ever like any of their music. And that is because, unlike the rest of country artists who march the whole party line of being blindly patriotic, right wing, anti-intellectual, anti-gay, militaristic, etc., these people were thinkers, embraced diversity and equality, and questioned the status quo. But they are very rare exceptions that do not make the rest of the country music crap palatable for me. What was done to The Dixie Chicks proves my whole point about how fucked up the values, message, and industry of country music are as a whole. It showed how free speech and questioning the status quo are not allowed. Country music also mostly preaches very traditional, stereotypical roles for men and women in relationships, which also nauseates me, along with being so full of glorifying the abuse of drinking and being a simple-minded redneck. Other turnoffs are all the guys wearing stupid cowboy hats as a uniform and both genders usually singing in a very nasal voice with a thick twang as another part of the uniform conformity of the genre. Plus the constant twang in the music behind the singing. Very simple-minded and conformist.

Cute and funny! Watch the cats reaction. [youtu.be]

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

The tail wagging by the cat shows it's fascinated. I had a neighbor cat for a while that liked to sit on top of the living room couch in front of the window and play peekaboo for the neighbors by going in front of and then behind the curtains.

Name a song that mentions a train. I'll go first. This Train is Bound For Glory - Woody Guthrie.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

Looks like my comment disappeared, so I'll post it again. Land Of Hope And Dreams-Bruce Springsteen People Get Ready- The Impressions (Curtis Mayfield's group)

I came across something on a dating site that touched me.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

It is a nice sentiment, but unfortunately in the online dating and offline dating, for that matter, my experience with sharing about the past is that, at least in the early stages, it is used only by the other person to vet you on whether you are worthy of them or whether they should reject you. It is not used to understand how you need to be loved.

Useless Advice on Dating Lately, some have posted about their fatigue and frustrations of being ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

Problem is my friends don't have any parties and neither do the groups I attend, so I won't meet anyone compatible that way.

Useless Advice on Dating Lately, some have posted about their fatigue and frustrations of being ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

I met someone like that recently at a stage play. She was one of the ushers and after the show we talked a bit in the theater about the play. We had such a nice chat and I liked her so much I looked her up on FB and sent her a message thanking her for the chat and hoping I would see her at the next show in the season. She sent a friend request and we messaged a little more, but found out she is younger than I thought, too young for me, also not open to dating anyone at this time, and I'm probably not her type anyway. So that ends that. She did say she would keep her eyes open for other single women who are my age and hipster theater types like her and me. But, like I've said before, random chance encounters are not going to get it done for me in meeting someone to date because the dating pool this way is not nearly deep enough for me to find someone compatible that is available.

If you have a wonderful partner......🤗😘

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

This was me and my late wife. Makes me grateful and sad to read this. Where did you find it?

How long into dating someone, do you wait to ask their religious preference?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 15, 2019:

With online dating I already know before the first meeting what their religious preference is, they already know that I'm Agnostic or at least that I am Spiritual, But Not Religious, and during our messaging before the meeting it is already discussed if they are a strong believer or not and if they are accepting of my non-belief. The messaging before meeting in person is kind of like a pre-interview for a job.

According to statistics, the average person over 18 consumes 3 alcoholic drinks a week.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

I haven't drank alcohol since the mid 1990s, and no, it's not because I'm a recovering alcoholic. So my answer would be no. I have found that in online dating my non-drinking is probably one of the biggest dealbreakers I run into with women, on their part, not mine. Almost all the women's profiles indicate that they are a social or moderate drinker and want a man that is a social drinker, even tho I am fine with a woman who drinks moderately or less, like my late wife. Guess they've never been married to an alcoholic like my late wife was before me. Like Sweeney Todd said, " They will learn..".

Is there a correlation between being a true atheist and abolishing the monogamous lifestyle?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

I just know monogamy is what I want and works for me. Handling and getting along with just one other person is daunting enough. I guess I also prefer the security of monogamy over sexual variety. Everybody's different.

UNPOPULAR OPINIONS! What’s something you love that everyone else hates?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

Hate online dating, but since it's never going to happen with IRL, I have no other choice except to give up and be alone. And I really don't want to do that.

Remember when students put flowers on the end of rifles?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

Would have but I was just a bit too young then.

I was just wondering how many declared "Believers" are really atheists pretending to believe.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

I do think there a lot of "pretenders" out there faking it or posing as Christians (as well as many hypocrites) just so they can fit in with mainstream society and more easily get ahead in employment, business, etc. by trading on the credential of being Christian in the US. It would be hard to measure because it's really hard to get most people to admit the truth about themselves, even in anonymous surveys, if the subject is something they feel shame or embarrassment about, such as being dishonest or lying about their beliefs.

I tell people "oh I'm open to the idea of a relationship I'm not closed off or letting my past ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 14, 2019:

Good luck, you may have found the needle in the haystack as far as compatible guys in your not too compatible area. Normally I stay away from looking for dating partners at work, but in this case I would go for it if I were you. Good luck!

Are you one who does this?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

Yes if it's something I love.

But Magic is no instrument.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

My late wife loved Buffy Saint Marie. She even preferred Buffy's version of The Circle Game to that of it's composer, Joni Mitchell. Wish you the best to Deiter, you're a good and honest man.

Why is it, all the cool chicks, live so far away?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

Same for me on Agnostic. Since I joined two and a half years ago, the site's membership has been very sparse and scattered, at least in the US. I don't see that changing, frankly.

How do you look at yourself?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

Because we are social creatures and the opinions of others on how we measure up against others does matter some to us in forming our opinions of ourselves. The older we get, the less it usually matters for most of us, but when we are young and still forming our identities and egos, it does matter a lot.

The face that deserves a boot will be putting his in yours.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

1984 arrived well before that year. Assange will soon be experiencing Winston's life and America's spooks in the CIA and military intel have had Room 101 waiting for him for quite a while.....

Religious People On Dating Websites Are All Like...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

Here in central Iowa, most people don't honestly know what Agnostic means, so I don't bother listing myself as that on Batch in my profile. In the checklist of traits part of the profile, one of the categories you can use to ID yourself on religion is Spiritual, But Not Religious. I use that one, which is become sort of the code word on Batch for indicating that either you are not religious or else a non-believer. When you look at someone's profile, you can also see which categories of religious preference they are looking for in someone to date. Only about 25% of the women my age in my area are looking for someone or will accept someone who is Spiritual, but Not Religous. The whole term makes me cringe, but that's how the game is played here. Once in a blue moon I run across a woman's profile on Batch from my area that's my age identifying as an Agnostic, which I'm sure most of the men that see it have no idea what it means and probably don't care as long as she's hot- looking.

Hundreds witness veteran shoot and kill himself in VA waiting room

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 13, 2019:

I am not surprised to hear this. If only most Americans knew that for a long time we have had more soldiers dying from suicide than on the battlefield in Iraq or Afghanistan, then maybe all Trump's MAGA crap would not sound so good or credible. Of course the corporate media is pretty quiet, at least most of the time, about this trend. If only they covered it like they did Vietnam, but then again, if they did we would not be over there anymore. That's why after Vietnam the corporate media and the Penatgon fell in line on not showing war the same way ever again.

How (and Why) Americans Were Taught to Hate Atheists