‘Part of me wanted to leave’: Lone attendee of Steve King town hall turns out to be a ...

bobwjr comments on Aug 18, 2019:

Evidently people there are getting a conscience

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2019:

Ain't it great? Better late than never. Too bad the Trumpers will never see the light about him.....

‘Part of me wanted to leave’: Lone attendee of Steve King town hall turns out to be a ...

Sticks48 comments on Aug 19, 2019:

Are those folks incredibly slow up there? I know they are in East Texas where Louie Gohmert is from, but I expect more from the so called Heart Land. I see a lot of land in the Midwest, heart, not so much. I'm not so sure about brains either. They seem to be missing some very important body parts up...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2019:

You are correct sir. They often seem to be missing heart and brains. I have seen Louie in action on C-Span as well as Ted Poe, both from your state, and I wonder if all three were bros separated at birth. I guess they come in most states.....

Dating?

Bobsuruncle comments on Aug 18, 2019:

What is hard about online dating is people that join a dating site and are never on it. Even if someone sends a "like", or a message, nothing. I do have some set parameters that are hard to fill though. Not dating a "fat" girl. I'm fine with a few extra pounds. Geese. Some of them have never left a ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2019:

@Bobsuruncle I hear you on that. I have met or run across single women, usually widowed, who are ten or twelve years older than me, but in great shape for their age. But after being widowed recently, I won't date more than 8 years older than me because I have no intention or interest in being widowed again anytime soon and having it break or finish me then.

Dating?

Wisewoman3 comments on Aug 18, 2019:

I have not dated in years. I am now 72 years old, so not the young, thin, sexy girl I was in the past. So, if I was to date, I would want to date someone around my age. The men that I have met, who are around my age, seem to have morphed from the open minded, free thinking, fun, liberal guys when ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2019:

@Deb57 Wait a minute, Deb, I resemble that remark, lol. We've chatted before thru PMs and I have said I would try dating you in a heartbeat if we lived near each other. So which of those groups do I fall into, since I really want someone who is my age and own level?

Dating?

Remi comments on Aug 18, 2019:

I think people are too picky these days. I feel men are more picky than women, but women definitely do it too. Everyone seems to think they either have to have someone perfect or be alone. No one is perfect. People don't take the time to really get to know each other. "Oh, you have a tiny flaw or ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2019:

@Kojaksmom I think both you and Remi are right on the money. Both genders treat online dating too much like shopping, which I have griped about before on these boards. It's too much of using a rigid checklist when going thru the choices on the screen and swiping away from anyone that doesn't fit every box on the checklist. You then miss out on some flawed, but very compatible people if you gave them the chance to actually meet you in person and show off their character, humor, charisma, and heart that are never going to show thru in their profile or even their pics.

Dating?

Kojaksmom comments on Aug 18, 2019:

I too have given up on looking for a significant other. Most of the men my age in my area are conservative trump supporters. I've had too many bad experiences with online dating so have decided that being alone is best.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 19, 2019:

@bobwjr Agree with Bob, I'd want to meet you if you lived near me. Geo is everything.....

Dating?

resserts comments on Aug 18, 2019:

I think there are still some real-world opportunities to meet people, without the pressure to date unless there's a connection. For instance, college courses (e.g., a creative writing class), business training seminars (e.g., leadership in the workplace or Excel), hobby/crafting classes (e.g., ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 18, 2019:

@resserts I quit doing that after seeing on the dating site Match how almost no women younger than 55 were willing to date someone who is 60 like me. In fact, lots of women even 55 won't date someone five years older. They would rather play cougar and date someone as much as 15 years younger, at least based on what I see in the Match profiles listing their dating range for ages. Most of those women in their 50s seem determined to catch up to what men have been doing for decades in dating as far as dating way younger.....

Dating?

NotReligious71 comments on Aug 18, 2019:

It makes me sad to not only read this, but also see how many people are feeling the same way. I, too, am in the same situation as many on this thread. I've been single since Labor Day 2014. I have not been on a date since. He was my last long-term boyfriend since my marriage that dissolved in...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 18, 2019:

Your story is living proof of why I won't move away to a better dating pool, because I need my friends close and available for support, not just by phone. They make the difference between my being able to cope or not.....

Dating?

resserts comments on Aug 18, 2019:

I think there are still some real-world opportunities to meet people, without the pressure to date unless there's a connection. For instance, college courses (e.g., a creative writing class), business training seminars (e.g., leadership in the workplace or Excel), hobby/crafting classes (e.g., ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 18, 2019:

I have tried most of those IRL avenues to meet women and they don't work, at least for me in my area. Haven't tried coaching youth sports partly because at my age the single moms of the kids would be too young for me and I would be more the age of the kids grandmas, who I would only meet at competitions of the kids. Be too busy then to socialize.

Dating?

DenoPenno comments on Aug 18, 2019:

I feel the same way. A friend of mine tells me my "last chance" might be the local Senior Center. He's religious and goes there to give them support. I went there with him once to check it out and what I found was a group who prays over food and also does the pledge of allegiance. Then I discovered ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 18, 2019:

My local senior center is the same way. They are all conservative Christians, hicks, and rubes. Almost none of the college educated and when they do their pledge of allegiance thing I do a silent protest of remaining seated and drinking my coffee. I kind of enjoy pissing them off because they can't do anything to make me go along with their rituals of that and prayer. I just go there, sit by myself, and get my free lunch about six times a month. I have told the site director that I already have friends and am there to eat, not socialize. They are also at least a dozen years or more older than me too.

Has anyone used Salonpas patch?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

Never heard of it, what is it?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 17, 2019:

@azzow2 Get it, Thanks.

Has anyone used Salonpas patch?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

Never heard of it, what is it?

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 17, 2019:

@azzow2 What does it do, what is it's purpose?

Getting ready for a singles group party tonight.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

I tried two local singles groups and they were both dead ends. Both groups were full of very square, conservative folks that were mainstream Christians and not at all intellectuals or hipsters. Nice people, but very boring and not open-minded. Unfortunately, both groups reflected the mainstream ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 17, 2019:

@Cabsmom So were both of mine, at least on their face, they were secular groups, but it didn't change the fact that all the other members attended Christian churches and were almost all also members of officially Christian singles groups. The only way, as far as I'm concerned, to ever find fellow non-believers thru a singles group is to join a Unitarian singles group, if there is one in your area. Unfortunately the one in my area folded as soon as I became widowed. Just my usual luck. I have talked to its former leader and she says it would be a waste of time to revive it as the single women from the church that she has talked to say they are not interested in dating and that they would not attend the group if it was revived. The hits just keep coming........

My approach to dating grew out of my mindfulness training in therapy.

Cabsmom comments on Aug 17, 2019:

I might have to read that later when I have more time. I gave up dating sites for a while though...ugh!

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 17, 2019:

@Petter Thanks for the endorsement, Petter.

Hi! Im new here.

KKGator comments on Aug 17, 2019:

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay. I've always been really defiant. I pretty much dare anyone to come at me because I'm an atheist. I've also been known to tell former co-workers to "keep that shit" to themselves. What works for me doesn't work for everyone. I really don't care if I piss...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 17, 2019:

I was never that defiant with co-workers or neighbors, but I was also open about who I was. Now that I am retired, I don't need to take any shit from anyone and don't.

Good afternoon everyone! My cable was off for a couple of hours so I was reading.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 17, 2019:

Welcome to my world of having only estranged family, instead of supportive family. I'm very grateful for my friends who have replaced them in my life. Maybe this might make it easier for others to understand why it would be so hard to move away from them just to have a better dating pool. Easier ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 17, 2019:

@sassygirl3869 That, at least, is comforting and I am glad for you that she is generous and supportive towards your daughter.

I am in the chatroom...not sure if its still being buggy.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 16, 2019:

Looks like it's being buggy again. It was fine earlier this evening. I tried to join and it wouldn't admit me and it doesn't look like it was letting you chat.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 16, 2019:

@ArtzyNerd I know, teasing....

I am in the chatroom...not sure if its still being buggy.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 16, 2019:

Looks like it's being buggy again. It was fine earlier this evening. I tried to join and it wouldn't admit me and it doesn't look like it was letting you chat.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 16, 2019:

@ArtzyNerd Then I don't know what to say. It wouldn't admit me and I saw no text of chatting going on...Just as well, AN, you've already got plenty of male attention there. Maybe some other time...

A couple we can respect

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 16, 2019:

Speak for yourself. I loathe them and the Clintons, but for different reasons than conservatives do. Just another pair of sellout, Neo-liberal corporatists who posed as liberals.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 16, 2019:

Must have hit a nerve with all the centrist Obama fans. The truth hurts......

A couple we can respect

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 16, 2019:

Speak for yourself. I loathe them and the Clintons, but for different reasons than conservatives do. Just another pair of sellout, Neo-liberal corporatists who posed as liberals.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 16, 2019:

@daylily You centrists can keep supporting your kind, including Biden this time around, I'm guessing. I'll support Bernie, just like last time. Because otherwise, to me, politics is not even worth bothering with if you are just voting for the status quo over and over.......

Whatever makes you happy, I guess.

GEGR comments on Aug 12, 2019:

There is a Price both ways .

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 16, 2019:

@Sticks48 Need my local friends too much and don;t know anybody anywhere else. I also don;t make new friends that easily at my age.

Whatever makes you happy, I guess.

GEGR comments on Aug 12, 2019:

There is a Price both ways .

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 16, 2019:

@Sticks48 Mine is going on several years now, if you include the time I spent watching my late wife suffer and die slowly. I hope you are right about it for me. It's getting emotionally exhausting......

Whatever makes you happy, I guess.

GEGR comments on Aug 12, 2019:

There is a Price both ways .

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 16, 2019:

@Sticks48 Sucks to be me I guess.......

Whatever makes you happy, I guess.

GEGR comments on Aug 12, 2019:

There is a Price both ways .

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 16, 2019:

@Sticks48 I'm sure it isn't. You're near Austin, which has many aging hipsters like me.

Whatever makes you happy, I guess.

GEGR comments on Aug 12, 2019:

There is a Price both ways .

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 16, 2019:

@Sticks48 Not having kids was a great choice for me until I got old and widowed here in central Iowa, and man is it costing me in trying to date, where almost all the women only want family men with kids, even when the women are in their mid-50s or older, WTF?

[theguardian.

rogueflyer comments on Aug 15, 2019:

The more I hear about the Satanic Temple the more I like it. I'd like to show Hail Satan at a Free Thought movie night when it comes out.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 15, 2019:

Starting with Monty Python's Life Of Brian, I think religion could stand to have a lot more humor about itself......

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

I have been on Match for almost two years and the vast majority of female profiles my age describe themselves as " About Average" in the body type category they choose for themselves. I have gotten to the point that I will not bother messaging the woman if she does not include a full body shot photo...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 15, 2019:

@A2Jennifer Well, the honest, realistic truth is that looks do matter to all of us in who we want to meet, at least at the beginning, so current, accurate pics are important and also much more reliable and useful than self descriptions, which can be distorted by bad self image, deception or self delusion. The camera tends to lie or mislead less, altho it's true that some people don't photograph as well as others.

Hi Everyone -I'm in the chatroom at 6:24 PM if anyone wants to chat.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 15, 2019:

I tried to join you, it won't work or let me in.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 15, 2019:

@sassygirl3869 Check your PMs.

The site appeared to be down for a while this morning. Did anyone else experience this?

Matias comments on Aug 15, 2019:

It happens from time to time. A few minutes later, the problem is gone. I have no idea what could be the cause of this

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 15, 2019:

In this case, it appeared to last several hours....

More sad evidence for mysogyny in the Land of the Unfree.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Makes sense to me. Women sure don't do mass shootings that I've ever heard about even tho there are many women who own guns, enjoy shooting, and even have military training with guns. Maybe they just don't have the same level of hatred towards others that these men have and are also not as sexually ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 15, 2019:

@MoonTigerII Don't mind at all, sir. I take that as a high compliment.

Is it okay to pretend to love someone if you're up front about it?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Reminds me of the Clintons sham of a marriage a bit. Could never believe that Hillary actually forgave and still loved Bill after all the humiliation he put her thru. No doubt she stayed married to him and they both faked their continued marriage all for her political ambition and their shared ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 15, 2019:

@BufftonBeotch No, I doubt she does, but that is a whole other ball of pathology... In her case the attraction is money and fame that she gets from being with The Donald... Equally sick, just different.....

I am hurt and angry.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Good looking people attract more interest and people, both of the good and healthy kind as well as the bad and unhealthy. I wish I had your amount of interest in me from others, but I am grateful I have not had your kind of problems with dating. I wish I could understand better or be more ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

@EyesThatSmile Well, that's a more appreciative response than I might have given myself here, but thanks, I'll take it. You will bounce back, I have faith in you.

Hey guys what do say when you meet someone in person from online dating and you are not physically ...

zesty comments on Aug 14, 2019:

I'm always very polite and straightforward. Sometimes I schedule a meet with 3 - 4 guys at a bar and choose two for a threesome. I always pay my bill, so I won't ask for any favors. Simple state that all look great, nice , but tonight just choose these people to play.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

Well aren't you the lucky one? Must be nice to be so spoiled......

Hey guys what do say when you meet someone in person from online dating and you are not physically ...

Sticks48 comments on Aug 14, 2019:

I would rather just be ghosted. No stress on you, and I really don't need to know the reason.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

@Sticks48 Neither do I nowadays, for the most part, but I keep soldiering on, trying to fake it........

Hey guys what do say when you meet someone in person from online dating and you are not physically ...

Sticks48 comments on Aug 14, 2019:

I would rather just be ghosted. No stress on you, and I really don't need to know the reason.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

@Sticks48 Agreed, it won't change the way I look, who I am, or even how I feel about myself. But sometimes, I do find it helpful to know how the chances look with more than assumption and to realistically know how close I am coming to finding someone or not over time. Because otherwise online dating is very impersonal and opaque.

Hey guys what do say when you meet someone in person from online dating and you are not physically ...

skado comments on Aug 14, 2019:

I don’t think there is a good answer to this question. Arranging a date with someone you’ve never met seems like putting the cart before the horse, to me. Online dating is a horrible idea. I’d rather at least see a person with my own eyes first, and have a conversation in a non-dating ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

@skado In almost two years, the answer is that it isn't, but I have little choice. My considerable efforts in the past to meet women organically offline have gone nowhere and offline anyway results in way too few opportunities to have any real chance of meeting someone compatible.

Hey guys what do say when you meet someone in person from online dating and you are not physically ...

Sticks48 comments on Aug 14, 2019:

I would rather just be ghosted. No stress on you, and I really don't need to know the reason.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

This is a rare one where we differ, Sticks. Most of the time I don't want to or need to know the reason I'm being rejected, but once in a while, esp. if the woman and I seem to have a lot in common and also share a good rapport in the first meeting, then I do appreciate a reality check from time to time on whether the reason is lack of physical attraction on their part. It has two purposes for me, one, it helps me know if I am trying to date too much out of my league lookswise, and secondly, it lets me know if it really is something other than looks that was the issue. Because, in my experience, looks is usually the issue when a woman meets you and has no interest after that, but they just don't want to say so. That's why I usually assume that unless proven otherwise. I doubt you get rejected nearly as often as I do Sticks, and thus, you have way less reason to care about the why of the rejection..... Jus' sayin'.

Hey guys what do say when you meet someone in person from online dating and you are not physically ...

bobwjr comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Be honest, polite and respectful

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

@bobwjr Anyone who is above average in looks, which you easily are, will run into this often, so you may as well figure out a strategy that works for you. This comment is for LL.

Hey guys what do say when you meet someone in person from online dating and you are not physically ...

Athena comments on Aug 14, 2019:

"I'm so glad we finally got the opportunity to meet because, as you know, it's such an important part of seeing whether there's chemistry. I really enjoyed our time together, but I don't feel a romantic connection which is what you're looking for. I hope you'll appreciate my being up front. I'd want...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

Well said. It's almost exactly what a former friend said to me during a first meeting after she answered my voice personal ad in the 90s. She did make it clear that she was interested in a platonic friendship with me and, unlike most men who would never be able to accept and handle sticking to such an arrangement with a gorgeous woman like her, we had a great two year friendship. Imagine that.......

Hey guys what do say when you meet someone in person from online dating and you are not physically ...

skado comments on Aug 14, 2019:

I don’t think there is a good answer to this question. Arranging a date with someone you’ve never met seems like putting the cart before the horse, to me. Online dating is a horrible idea. I’d rather at least see a person with my own eyes first, and have a conversation in a non-dating ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

That is true for most people at most ages, but when you get older and are no longer working it becomes very hard to meet people who are single and of decent health as well as interesting and compatible for hipsters like me. Online dating becomes a necessary evil, as my therapist admitted to me today.

DC MD VA peeps. Happy hour get together posted in our group.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Wish something like that could happen in the Des Moines area on here, but we don't even have the critical mass to try it.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

@GreenAtheist In talking with other non-believers in the Des Moines area, there appear to be two reasons that non-believers move to Iowa. One is the lower cost of living compared to living on the coasts, thus, even with lower pay, a professional living here can have a higher standard of living than on the coasts. The other reason is, at our age, is that they come here to be around family, either frail parents or younger adult kids and grandkids. Those cases represent our opportunity at dating, at least in our age group.

DC MD VA peeps. Happy hour get together posted in our group.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 14, 2019:

Wish something like that could happen in the Des Moines area on here, but we don't even have the critical mass to try it.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

@GreenAtheist Your two comments sure explain a lot of what I see in my area as far as a lack of non-believers to hang with or date. Now I really feel doomed to being alone.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

I have been on Match for almost two years and the vast majority of female profiles my age describe themselves as " About Average" in the body type category they choose for themselves. I have gotten to the point that I will not bother messaging the woman if she does not include a full body shot photo...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 14, 2019:

@A2Jennifer As I said elsewhere, I believe that I and most men see the body type descriptions on dating sites and take them with a grain of salt rather than at face value, esp. if there are any full-body photos. If there are, we go by that regardless of the self-description. Based on your photos in your profile here, you qualify as curvy. I don't know who Kate Upton is or even care. Neither should you, as your figure would be attractive to most men, so why should you care about comparison to her?

Only atheists.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Living in San Fran, you should have tons of non-believing men to choose from, unlike us folks here in flyover land. The stats are definitely on your side in that locale.......

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 13, 2019:

@yvilletom True, but it still leaves her with better stats to work with than me here in Des Moines around all the believing, family-oriented, traditional farmer's daughters in Iowa........

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Objective beauty, as he defines it, is a real issue that does matter a lot to both men and women. The proof of that is which sort of people on dating sites get their messages read, much less replied to. If your pics are not attractive enough, people will swipe away or reject you on that initial ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 13, 2019:

@bleurowz Well, we agree there at least. That's the reality of how online dating works with at least 95% of the people and it's not going to change as far as what they do, no matter what any of us thinks.

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

TheDoubter comments on Aug 12, 2019:

i go for personality, intelligence

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 13, 2019:

I go for the whole package. I won't lie to myself or this group, looks matter at least to a degree with me, maybe not as much or as little as to others on these boards, even more so with people on real paid dating sites.

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

BitFlipper comments on Aug 12, 2019:

The pep talk provided some inspiration, but it's hard to imagine how to put his ideas into action. It's hard to take the word of an attractive person giving advice to the unattractive.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 13, 2019:

@bleurowz I agree with BF. HIs pep talk teaches me nothing new and it gives me no help in overcoming the stacked odds and wall of objective beauty in online dating that dooms me from having a chance with over 90% of the people I message, including both average and above average-looking women on paid sites like Match. His advice holds maybe some more water in offline dating that happens organically, because in those situations you are not competing with every other man on the dating site. Instead, you are only being measured by the other person against their own "types" or baseline standards of objective beauty when you first meet them, so if you manage to pass those tests, you then may have a shot at winning them over with your perceived beauty if they will meet you again a time or two. Still long odds if you are a 5 or a 6 and they are a 7 or 8 on the looks scale. For reasons of comparision, Mr. Hussey appears to be at least a 7, and more likely an 8 or 9 on the scale. In other words, he is playing in a totally different league than BF, me, or Bob, and there's no getting around that.

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Objective beauty, as he defines it, is a real issue that does matter a lot to both men and women. The proof of that is which sort of people on dating sites get their messages read, much less replied to. If your pics are not attractive enough, people will swipe away or reject you on that initial ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

@bleurowz My point is that I am not discounting the importance of valuing yourself or feeling adequate about yourself, etc. I am saying that in online dating if you are someone, anyone, whose looks are average or worse, you will be ignored and rejected by most people on dating sites based on objective beauty. That is how the system works and Gwendolyn validated all of that in the past on here, even backed it up with studies. That is how the game is played and works. You, me, and anyone else can resent it until the cows come home, but it will not change the reality and dynamics of dating sites..........

Agnostic vs Atheist Sorry to rake up this seemingly old one up again but there have been so many ...

believeinlove comments on Aug 12, 2019:

I think many agnostics are for the most part atheists who want to avoid the negative connotations associated with the word "atheist".

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

Probably true. I really don't fucking care about the difference tho. Neither do most of us. As Sticks, said, how much longer will this dead horse be beat on these boards?

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

UUNJ comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Whether you want to attract a partner or a friend, the photos you post matter. Photos taken on a laptop screen never look good because the lighting and angle suck. Shots from below aren’t flattering — no one needs to see up your nostrils. There’s something to be said for smiling and showing ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

@UUNJ I don't get that concerned about whether the photos suggest a scammer or not, because the rest of the profile is already full of tipoffs about if it's legit or not. As far as real photos, I prefer photos that are not selfies, and thus in their car, bed, or bathroom, but if they are I don't hold it against them if the photos still suggest they are attractive-looking, at least to me. Not everyone has helpful friends with cameras that can shoot for them. But having those kind of friends are a plus in my feeling they are of good character and personality. People who appear to have few or no friends are a red flag to me. I am kind of a slob when it comes to dress, so I am not going to be that critical of how fashionable a woman dresses. Personally, I think it is a little shallow to put a lot of stock in how someone dresses, but that's me. As long as their clothes are clean and seem to fit them ok, I really don't care that much. They should also have their hair at least decently clean and cut too. So I guess hygiene matters some to me. I really hate it when women use filters on their photos of their face or do fish faces with their lips on the photos. It looks foolish and immature rather than sexy.......

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

bobwjr comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Beauty is more in the person than skin have known beautiful woman who had ugly inside and vice versa

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

@bobwjr Thanks, Bob. I have never had regrets on that friendship. It was enriching and if I had tried to pursue a romantic relationship with her later I would have missed out on a lot. Part of my experience with her was the constant looks of interest and admiration I got from other people at restuarants, concerts, and other public places whenever I was with her, in other words, how being with her seemed to validate in the eyes of others that I seemed to maybe somehow be worthy of her as a romantic partner even tho they were all incorrectly assuming that we were a couple. My experience with her is much of my proof or evidence for the strong opinions I have posted on these boards about attraction and how we treat others around that issue as worthy or not of our company and romantic interest. My time with her was enriching as it proved to me that a beautiful woman on the outside could also be so on the inside and value the friendship of a man who was way out of her league in physical beauty, but it also was quite disillusioning in what it taught me about the attitudes of both men and women who observed us together.

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

BitFlipper comments on Aug 12, 2019:

The pep talk provided some inspiration, but it's hard to imagine how to put his ideas into action. It's hard to take the word of an attractive person giving advice to the unattractive.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

Very astute point. It's akin to a white-privilege or rich person trying to give advice to a poor, black person. Well-intentioned, but how practical and useful will it be for someone without the same privilege as the advisor? And how much empathy does the advisor really have? This guy is smart, but man, he kept repeating himself a lot and going over the same ground a lot. The whole talk could have been given much more concisely, maybe in 5 min. or less.

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

bobwjr comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Beauty is more in the person than skin have known beautiful woman who had ugly inside and vice versa

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

@bobwjr Most or all of the others probably were princess syndrome types. The woman who was a 9 was very kind, honest, and emotionally supportive early on and all thru our 2 year friendship. But I asked her at the beginning of our first meeting if she was attracted to me and she not only said No, she also said that she could usually tell from the beginning if she was ever going to feel physical attraction for a man. So, true to my usual nature and policy, I immediately switched to interacting with her on a strictly platonic level and permanently dropped any hope of a change in her viewpoint. To do otherwise would have ruined any chance at a friendship. So I don't quite get what you are saying Bob about how she or I could have tried anything different that would have caused us to end up a romantic couple. She rejected me for that, plain and simple and I had long given up trying to play out some alternative drama to that long before I met her and have never gone back on that policy since either.

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

bobwjr comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Beauty is more in the person than skin have known beautiful woman who had ugly inside and vice versa

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

I too have experienced some of that kind of thing with women who were good-looking. There is some of that truth in the movie Shallow Hal. Honestly, I have only gotten to know a small number of women in my life well enough to get an idea of their inner personality and character, and, unfortunately, most of them are not that beautiful on the inside, probably because with their looks they could always get away with a lot of bad behavior or being unkind to others, esp. men. However, the best looking woman I ever got to know, a true 9 on the outside and inside, the only 9 I ever met, was one of the best people I ever had as a friend. Met her thru a personal ad in the 90s and too bad I wasn't in her league lookswise.

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Objective beauty, as he defines it, is a real issue that does matter a lot to both men and women. The proof of that is which sort of people on dating sites get their messages read, much less replied to. If your pics are not attractive enough, people will swipe away or reject you on that initial ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

@bleurowz More or less, you are agreeing with the point made to me by the dating coach, which is, that if someone sees you as not attractive enough from the pics to be interested in you, it's pointless to expect a reply from them or any contact at all from them. You seem to be making a negative moral judgement about them for their mindset. The coach was not making any judgement in her comment/advice to me, she was just saying this is how it is and there's no point getting emotional about it or expecting people to vary from the norm by replying to you if they do not find your photos attractive, at least to them.

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

UUNJ comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Whether you want to attract a partner or a friend, the photos you post matter. Photos taken on a laptop screen never look good because the lighting and angle suck. Shots from below aren’t flattering — no one needs to see up your nostrils. There’s something to be said for smiling and showing ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

@UUNJ And most women never click on guys, even ones who message them, if the main profile pic does not meet the woman's standards of objective beauty. I have seen the proof in all the messages I have sent that were unread and the lack of views from women that I messaged. You really do have to get past the initial screening process for personality, character, and perceived beauty to come into play and you never will, with most people, male and female, if your main photo is not objectively beautiful enough.

"Are You Pretty Enough For Him?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Objective beauty, as he defines it, is a real issue that does matter a lot to both men and women. The proof of that is which sort of people on dating sites get their messages read, much less replied to. If your pics are not attractive enough, people will swipe away or reject you on that initial ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

@bleurowz I'm not encouraging that mindset or thinking, but I recognize it as a powerful reality, like it or not. I would rather deal with online dating in a realistic manner than not, since it appears to be a necessary evil at my age and in my situation.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

Sadanty comments on Aug 12, 2019:

Around 5 ' 3'' tall and about 155 pounds ... :)

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

Too true.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

BitFlipper comments on Aug 12, 2019:

All the self-assessments are open to interpretation. "Average" usually means "average for our overweight population". I describe myself as average and that's the rationale I claim. The one that kills me is "athletic". Some of the women who describe themselves as athletic are runners or ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

The self-chosen categories are a crock. Photos tell the real story and even then only if they are real and recent. The dating sites may as well get rid of the self-chosen categories as no one viewing a profile puts much stock in them. The only thing those reveal is the level of truthfulness or delusion of the site member about themselves, which can be useful in judging the character of the person. And for those who refuse to include real, recent photos that include a full body shot and a close up head shot, they are too thin-skinned to be on a dating site in the first place.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

I have been on Match for almost two years and the vast majority of female profiles my age describe themselves as " About Average" in the body type category they choose for themselves. I have gotten to the point that I will not bother messaging the woman if she does not include a full body shot photo...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

@brainyactress Same with bowling. A sport that hardly does anything to build an athletic body. You can be a champ in that even with a huge beer gut.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Aug 12, 2019:

## If she describes herself as average, she's boring. If that's the best way she can describe herself it's time to keep looking. It doesn't matter how good looking she is, how great the sex is, at some point she opens her yap. You don't want to hear how extensive the research has been to ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 12, 2019:

@UUNJ I just checked the Match options for men, which I guess differ some from the options women have. Men can choose About Average, Heavyset, Slender, and Athletic And Toned. Pretty limited set.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

of-the-mountain comments on Aug 11, 2019:

If you stand up and look down and can not see your feet, what are you? Most of what I have seen in person and via photographs of women and men think they are average not being able to actually see their feet! I personally have no gut or belly over hang, yet weight in today at 250# at 72"! ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 11, 2019:

Not sure I would go that far. I think that a simple majority, not the vast majority, of both sexes, lie somewhat about their weight.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 11, 2019:

I have been on Match for almost two years and the vast majority of female profiles my age describe themselves as " About Average" in the body type category they choose for themselves. I have gotten to the point that I will not bother messaging the woman if she does not include a full body shot photo...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 11, 2019:

@UUNJ Honest photos expose the lie about people self-defining their body type. Which is why I pretty much ignore the self-chosen category if there are full-body photos. It's silly how many people think they can lie about it. I won't message someone without a full body pic and as far as the diff between average and curvy? That diff is whether the woman's breasts and hips are larger than normal or average, at least in the mind of this male and probably most men.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

azzow2 comments on Aug 11, 2019:

Average is hard to calculate height is always a consideration. I describe my self as average. I am 6 foot 3 inches tall 250 lbs. If I was a foot shorter my weight would make me considerably large.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 11, 2019:

@azzow2 That's a common occurence.

Curious what men here think when a woman describes herself as “about average” on a dating site ...

azzow2 comments on Aug 11, 2019:

Average is hard to calculate height is always a consideration. I describe my self as average. I am 6 foot 3 inches tall 250 lbs. If I was a foot shorter my weight would make me considerably large.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 11, 2019:

I stand a little over 6'1" and weigh 190 lbs. That is right on the far end of average and a BMI of 25. Most of my life I have been considered slender, but age has caught up with me.

Sad and disturbing news for non-Christians hoping to adopt.

Sticks48 comments on Aug 11, 2019:

What is infuriating is this man is no more of a believer than you or I. He is a sick fuck.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 11, 2019:

I know and that should be obvious to all the fundys that support him, like my older sister, but they don't seem to care as long as he supports their pet issues like outlawing abortion and nominating right wing judges. Shows how shallow and hypocritical their religion is.

Only atheists.

Looking4-Others comments on Aug 10, 2019:

I'm gonna be a slug and go ahead and say it..At this point after 9 years of not getting any still when I see a woman I think I may be attracted to I think about the other aspects of that person which is that believer crap and that pretty much does it for me. I have to constantly remind myself that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 10, 2019:

@Looking4-Others you're welcome. I admit there is a certain efficiency and simplicity to it.

Only atheists.

Looking4-Others comments on Aug 10, 2019:

I'm gonna be a slug and go ahead and say it..At this point after 9 years of not getting any still when I see a woman I think I may be attracted to I think about the other aspects of that person which is that believer crap and that pretty much does it for me. I have to constantly remind myself that ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 10, 2019:

You remind me a bit of that country song about an often-divorced guy who deals with his occasional urge to get married by instead just finding a woman he hates and buying her a house, as a way to cut thru to the chase and get rid of that urge to wed.

Agnostic and More

Sticks48 comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Who gives a fuck. You folks could not possibly beat this dead horse any more dead than it has been since I joined this site a year and a half ago. This has gotten beyond BORING!!!

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 10, 2019:

@Sticks48 I haven't drank alcohol since the mid 90s, so we are peers in that too.

Iowa Religious Extremist Who Burned Library Books Faces The Law [au.

Killtheskyfairy comments on Aug 9, 2019:

It pisses me off that Iowa gets the attention and huge input into our Presidential elections when most Iowans are stupid yahoos and religious fanatics like this guy. Book burners are not who we want making major decisions about our future.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 10, 2019:

@Killtheskyfairy It's not you. She is a strange one. I have traded some PMs with her. She seems to be more of a typical Iowan than a progressive hipster like most of us. Sometimes all we have in common on this site is our non-belief, otherwise some of us are just as conservative and traditional as the believers in the Bible Belt. So it's important not to assume too much just because someone is a member of this site and a non-believer.

Iowa Religious Extremist Who Burned Library Books Faces The Law [au.

Killtheskyfairy comments on Aug 9, 2019:

It pisses me off that Iowa gets the attention and huge input into our Presidential elections when most Iowans are stupid yahoos and religious fanatics like this guy. Book burners are not who we want making major decisions about our future.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 10, 2019:

@Killtheskyfairy I've lived in Iowa my whole life and you'll get no argument from me about how most of them are ignorant hicks. There are really only about three liveable areas in the whole state and they all have universities in them. The rest of the state is rural backwaters and still exert a large cultural influence even on the liveable areas I mentioned. That is why it's so tough to find anyone compatible to date even in the most urban part of Iowa unless you are lucky enough to meet a transplant to Iowa from somewhere more progressive that just happens to be available and interested in dating when you meet them, like my late wife was in '95.

On a positive note.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 10, 2019:

I am exactly who I say I am on here, for better or worse. Too bad there is no one local to date from Agnostic. Still feel fairly alone on this site.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 10, 2019:

@BitFlipper As Bill Murray said in Stripes, " Das de fact, Jack!".......

Only atheists.

NoPlanetB comments on Aug 9, 2019:

Yep, I live in Oklahoma and finding a older non-believer liberal man is like trying to find one particular grain of sand at the beach.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 10, 2019:

@Heidi68 Sounds like your sticker critic needs to get a life. Props on the Make America Think Again sticker.

Only atheists.

NoPlanetB comments on Aug 9, 2019:

Yep, I live in Oklahoma and finding a older non-believer liberal man is like trying to find one particular grain of sand at the beach.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 9, 2019:

@NoPlanetB Actually, around here I am truly worried about worse than that happening, namely cut tires and smashed windshield. In my very religious and Repub suburb, I would never leave my car parked at night on a dark side street as I know it would probably be targeted for vandalism. The only times I leave it parked outside in my town is in broad daylight in a crowded lot, so little is likely to happen to it then. The times I am concerned about it is during my visits to Des Moines, when it is parked at night in on the street, where things are more open-minded, but not enough for me to want to have anything too radical on my bumper.

Only atheists.

NoPlanetB comments on Aug 9, 2019:

Yep, I live in Oklahoma and finding a older non-believer liberal man is like trying to find one particular grain of sand at the beach.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 9, 2019:

@NoPlanetB They would have been. Not worth risking the sale or value of your home before it was sold with the inevitable vandalism that would have occurred. Same reason I will not put certain bumper stickers on my car, even tho I wholeheartedly endorse those viewpoints. Some speech is just too damn expensive and inconvenient these days.

Only atheists.

NoPlanetB comments on Aug 9, 2019:

Yep, I live in Oklahoma and finding a older non-believer liberal man is like trying to find one particular grain of sand at the beach.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 9, 2019:

@Heidi68 Here is close enough. I wouldn't be able to take living it it like you. Would by now have either moved out of desperation or probably checked out if I hadn't met my late wife.

Only atheists.

NoPlanetB comments on Aug 9, 2019:

Yep, I live in Oklahoma and finding a older non-believer liberal man is like trying to find one particular grain of sand at the beach.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 9, 2019:

Similar odds in Iowa. It's not as Bible Belt as OK, but close enough to it.

Iowa Religious Extremist Who Burned Library Books Faces The Law [au.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 9, 2019:

His attitude is not surprising as he lives in the western part of Iowa, a cultural wasteland and backwater, as far as this Iowan is concerned. There are no universities there, almost everyone is conservative, white, and religious, and Steve King represents them in congress, a man who is openly as ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 9, 2019:

@greyeyed123 Possibly, if only because he pissed off a lot of the farmers who voted for him with his tariffs against China on crops they grow as well as his lack of support for ethanol and renewable energy. He lost some support with his stands on each of those issues. I could have told them back in 2016 what he was going to do on each issue, but these fools would never have believed me.

Iowa Religious Extremist Who Burned Library Books Faces The Law [au.

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 9, 2019:

His attitude is not surprising as he lives in the western part of Iowa, a cultural wasteland and backwater, as far as this Iowan is concerned. There are no universities there, almost everyone is conservative, white, and religious, and Steve King represents them in congress, a man who is openly as ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 9, 2019:

@greyeyed123 Nope, it isn't. More like the T-shirt I bought from a local snarky shop that says "Iowa, a great black hole you can never escape from, but a great black hole to raise kids in ".........

[aarp.

Sticks48 comments on Aug 9, 2019:

There is nothing new there. This is stuff you should figure out by at least your 30's. It's all common sense no matter your age. Given all of that, when someone immediately knocks your socks off, all of that shit goes out the window, at least until you can catch your breath and reason things out. ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 9, 2019:

Agreed. Already knew this and more. This is for people who haven't been on the market or tried dating in decades and are starting clueless.

Mass shootings. Perhaps it's a societal issue like obesity and religion?

TomMcGiverin comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Nobody but the police or military need automatic weapons or ones that can easily be converted to automatic weapons. If you have so little trust in your police and military to think that they will be against you should the government decide to impose martial law and become a dictatorship, then you ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 7, 2019:

@JamesUC I'm not even going to attempt to debate it with you. You either see the reason, namely under-restricted weapons compared to the rest of the world, correlated with way more mass shootings than the rest of the world, or you don't. We're done...

OK. How many people come to this site to find a partner?

hippydog comments on Aug 6, 2019:

New people are joining all the time.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 7, 2019:

@hippydog I mentioned info about the site to a local atheists and freethinkers group that had a booth at the local gay pride parade this summer and encouraged them to join here, but as far as I can tell no women my age joined. Plus, I know from a male friend already in that group that very few women ever come to their meetings and the ones that do are already coupled.

OK. How many people come to this site to find a partner?

ArtzyNerd comments on Aug 6, 2019:

I did initially but seems my compatible partners are way too far away...I am not giving up hope. And it could be my perfect match is 4000 miles away. So I am still open to the possibility that my match could be here.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 6, 2019:

Same here. I will not date LD, but I have little to no hope that anyone compatible will join in my area.

OK. How many people come to this site to find a partner?

hippydog comments on Aug 6, 2019:

New people are joining all the time.

TomMcGiverin replies on Aug 6, 2019:

Maybe so, but no women my age have joined in my area for the last two years, so I have little hope of finding anyone less than hundreds of miles away, if even that.....

Ok.

Anonbene comments on Jul 27, 2019:

You could blow him while his mom is in the room. I'll bet you already thought of that. 😂

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 28, 2019:

@Cabsmom Thank you for being more honest than most women here who talk about the dating game and say that they always wait several dates before having sex with someone they meet for a real relationship, not just FWB or hookups, and also thank you for admitting that you are like most men are, namely that you are usually aware very early on or quickly if you have any sexual attraction to someone. I think all this talk about how women either don't know early on if someone is attractive to them or that attraction for them has developed slowly over time is more like discussion of unicorns. In other words it is somewhat dishonest or based in fantasy rather than reality.

Sometimes its not the song that makes you emotional, it's the people and things that come to mind ...

HippieChick58 comments on Jul 27, 2019:

I've often heard people say it is "their" song because it was playing when something very good happened.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 27, 2019:

@HippieChick58 Ditto.

Ok.

Anonbene comments on Jul 27, 2019:

You could blow him while his mom is in the room. I'll bet you already thought of that. 😂

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 27, 2019:

@Cabsmom I''ve never had sex on a first date either, even when I was young. Chill out, Cindy, not all men our age are after first date sex, or even second date either.

A few suggestions for the guys on dating sites: First, post a picture of YOU and not some actor.

mischl comments on Jul 24, 2019:

Yes, some women do equally douchey things. The most common is showing a photo that is ten or twenty years old. The second most common is hiding their body weight (if they're fat). I've learned that women showing face only are usually overweight. I've also learned that a good way to get blocked is by...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 26, 2019:

@mischl I got to know two women who admitted to me that they had put on a lot of weight within months after being raped or nearly raped because it unconsciously made them feel safer from attack by being less attractive to men.

I just told my friend I think I am the runaway bride of dating!

of-the-mountain comments on Jul 26, 2019:

Shit does happen, especially when dealing with others who you are notbatunevto in any form or fashion!

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 26, 2019:

Ain't that the fucking truth for most of us!

A few suggestions for the guys on dating sites: First, post a picture of YOU and not some actor.

mischl comments on Jul 24, 2019:

Yes, some women do equally douchey things. The most common is showing a photo that is ten or twenty years old. The second most common is hiding their body weight (if they're fat). I've learned that women showing face only are usually overweight. I've also learned that a good way to get blocked is by...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 26, 2019:

@mischl Same here. I think we share that with most men, but it appears most men are just not as honest about it, either because they fear the wrath of feminists, or they just enjoy telling women what they want to hear. I respect myself and others too much to lie to them, so let the haters hate, I say.

A few suggestions for the guys on dating sites: First, post a picture of YOU and not some actor.

Jinx5555555 comments on Jul 25, 2019:

This whole thread is hilarious. Male/Female relationships are too dysfunctional to work anymore. Popular media has raised generations of men and women that are too different to work together. Bring on the sex robots and test-tube procreation.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 26, 2019:

@Cherie4444 Not sure what you are saying. When I met my late wife I still had a fair amount of hair on my head and I could still get dates with women that were attractive to me, at least. It does seem to me that the dating market is worse now, at least in my experience compared to the last time, and I think that is for other reasons as well as me being bald or not as athletic looking as back then either. Make of it what you will. I think most of the reasons are that women are way more closed and guarded than back then about dating as well as being pickier than then. It makes the whole process really an ordeal for both.

A few suggestions for the guys on dating sites: First, post a picture of YOU and not some actor.

mischl comments on Jul 24, 2019:

Yes, some women do equally douchey things. The most common is showing a photo that is ten or twenty years old. The second most common is hiding their body weight (if they're fat). I've learned that women showing face only are usually overweight. I've also learned that a good way to get blocked is by...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 26, 2019:

@Justjoni He is just being honest, Jj. I will not message a woman who does not have a full body pic because I am not on dating sites for the primary purpose of making platonic friends. I want someone who seems to at least have some potential of me being physically attracted to them before I waste my time or theirs. Dating does eventually usually lead to trying sex with someone if it goes far and long enough. I don't want to set them or me up for disappointment if I know from the pics I am not likely to be attracted due to their body type. Their is a reason everybody on paid dating sites wants current pics in the profile and usually at least on close up head shot and one full body shot. Because looks are important to about everyone, all other traits being equal and compatible.

A few suggestions for the guys on dating sites: First, post a picture of YOU and not some actor.

PolyComrade comments on Jul 24, 2019:

I don't really think of this site as a dating site/app. I mean, initially I signed up for it thinking it was a dating site, but quickly my perspective shifted. Now I just think of agnostic dot com as basically social media for atheists.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 25, 2019:

@IAJO163 Most of us can meet people here for long distance or online friendship, but as far as dating anyone from here, most of us would have to travel at least hundreds of miles.

A few suggestions for the guys on dating sites: First, post a picture of YOU and not some actor.

RavenCT comments on Jul 24, 2019:

If you full on steal someone else's photos - you're being a scammer. If you're posting photos from 10 or 20 years ago - or using a filter that makes you look that much younger? You're being dishonest. I remember a member going from "filtered photo" to non-filtered and I went "OMG It's the ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 25, 2019:

I've never met anyone in person from Agnostic, but it appears to me that most members of this site who are open to dating are much more honest about their pics than people on the paid sites.

Alaska is Far Out ! Anybody travilin' up this way is welcome to look me up.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 25, 2019:

I leave Sun. on a cruise from Seattle to AK, but it only goes as far north as Juneau, so I won't see you.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 25, 2019:

@FrostyJim Would I have any use on this trip for any short sleeved polo shirts, or are they just dead weight in my bags?

A few suggestions for the guys on dating sites: First, post a picture of YOU and not some actor.

Jinx5555555 comments on Jul 25, 2019:

This whole thread is hilarious. Male/Female relationships are too dysfunctional to work anymore. Popular media has raised generations of men and women that are too different to work together. Bring on the sex robots and test-tube procreation.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 25, 2019:

@Cherie4444 My 22 yr. LTR and marriage allowed me to temporarily beat the odds and be with someone attractive and compatible that I may never be able to find another at my age that is even close to that due to being bald, Agnostic, childfree, average looking and not the culture and lifestyle the vast majority of women in my area want. That dating market and game have really gotten worse since I was in it in the mid-90s, plus being older now. Jinx is totally right about how unlikely I am to find someone compatible in today's system.

A few suggestions for the guys on dating sites: First, post a picture of YOU and not some actor.

RickyAdams comments on Jul 24, 2019:

Agree 100%. But, chicks shouldnt put filters on every pic of them or post pics of their kids instead of themselves, either.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 25, 2019:

@GrungeGirl90s I'm a straight up, average looking but bald guy who just happens to live in a shitty dating pool for a childfree hipster like me at my age. I probably like more of the same music as you, GG, than do most single guys your age in your area, but unfortunately most of the women my age in my area like country music-which I hate- and only about 25% of them are open to dating someone non-religious. They are also almost all very family-oriented, whether they have kids or not. Only family men need apply. It could always be worse for you, just sayin'....

The hypocrisy of the Republicans is almost unbelievable to me.

mscoulter comments on Jul 25, 2019:

Dems are stuck on stupid when it comes to "going high".

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 25, 2019:

True. Being wimpy instead of tough gets you nowhere when you are fighting people who are ruthless and have no scruples. And it also looks bad to voters when you claim to be on their side more than the Repubs, but don't appear to be willing and tough enough to fight for them against the Repubs. So the voters on the fence either vote for the side that seems tougher or sit out the election. Everyone wants to vote for a tough champion of their cause and a winner, otherwise, they don't get enthused about a candidate.

friends are important...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 24, 2019:

Yes and no. While making platonic friends thru a paid dating site like Match happens all the time and there is nothing wrong with that, I recently had an experience with Match what makes me beg to differ on all the happy talk of collateral friendship from dating sites. I met a woman for coffee after...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 25, 2019:

@BitFlipper That was my point. People join hoping to meet potential romantic partners after, of course, beginning as friends. The harsh fact is that becoming friends thru a dating site if something usually offered as sort of a consolation prize on the part of the person who is rejecting the other person as being unworthy of a relationship greater than friendzone with them. In fact, this offer of a strictly friendzone relationship is often made in a hollow, insincere way these day and is really more about the person offering not wanting to feel guilty or uncomfortable about rejecting the other person romantically and without any intention of pursuing a truly close friendship with the other person or spending much time together at all. Totally bogus and nothing I would be interested in. I find that who idea of a fake consolation prize insulting and I would prefer that game players like that not bother with even meeting me if they have already decided before meeting me that I will never be worthy of more than friendzone material to them.

I had a date yesterday with a guy I was talking to on okc back in April.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jul 21, 2019:

Good for you. I had a pretty disappointing one yesterday. After trading several long positive messages with her over a few days, we met for coffee and talked for over two hours. She seemed very excited to see me when we met and thru most of the conversation, but I could see her expression change in ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jul 25, 2019:

@BitFlipper Apparently that's what the higher end dating coaches do. They observe the dates and then de-brief each party on how it went...