We all seem to be irritated all the time by the world around us.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 6, 2019:

Don't get me started my friend... All of what's said below plus mindless consumerism and the widespread lack of critical thinking skills by the sheeple....

Tomorrow, I'm heading for a small festival in Pendleton, South Carolina.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 6, 2019:

Going to see a stage play, by myself as usual, on Sat. then going to my monthly film club meeting on Sun. eve. Both events indoors...

For those who have a long distance friendship.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 6, 2019:

I have only one LD friend and I wish he still lived here. I rarely see him even tho we talk on the phone every month or so.

Having a blast at my first punk rock concert!

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 6, 2019:

I used to love going to hear punk/New Wave bands in the late 70s and early 80s.

A group of cats is called a glaring. No idea why.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 5, 2019:

They're all glaring, but they're still cute as hell....

I know we'd have threads before about dealbreakers in dating relationships.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 5, 2019:

I'll briefly violate my own instruction and list my few dealbreakers, all of which are very important as being part of my core values and identity or how I want to spend my time. No strong religious believers or intolerant of my Agnosticism No smokers (tobacco) No country music fans No women who have college sports as their main interest or center of their social life. No conservatives No women who are very family-oriented or unwilling to accept me as not being very family-oriented (meaning not interested in seeing her family or grandkids more than once a month, at least not with me along). Nos. 2 and 5 are the only ones where I seem to have many women to choose from that don't fall into these dealbreakers. Sorry for the self indulgence here......

I know we'd have threads before about dealbreakers in dating relationships.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 5, 2019:

Can't get it to add this with edit: Also, this woman said she almost settled recently in a relationship with someone, but didn't and she thought that settling was just as bad as being alone from having unrealistic dealbreakers.

For a lot of folks today, their "identity" is the most important anchor in this confusing, messy ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 5, 2019:

While here in the US the Dem party keeps pushing identity politics, instead of economic and democratic revolution (in hopes of avoiding violent revolution, which I see as more likely eventually), with the exception of Bernie Sanders and AOC, meanwhile the planet cooks and the oligarchs worldwide continue to rule and get richer as everybody else fights over identity and tribalism. If this continues we are all doomed, even the rich who delusionally think they can escape to another rock or at least move on to their underground or isolated enclaves to wait it out and escape climate change.

Just noticed that according by my Grumpy Cat Calender today (April 4) is Grumpy's birthday.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 4, 2019:

Grumpy won't mind. Grumpy is my hero and spirit animal....

Janis Lyn Joplin in 1968 Died October 4, 1970 (aged 27) Los Angeles, California, U.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 4, 2019:

I loved so much of her music and she had such a gift and so much soul. Too bad that most people only know her for the shitty country song she recorded- Me And Bobby McGee-which became her biggest hit and was so uncharacteristic of her. I'm sure she was encouraged to record it for an easy hit single, but man I have always hated that song. I go to karaoke a lot and without fail that song is always the only song of hers that ever gets sung, as I sit there and cringe. It got so bad that once in a while, old white man that I am, I honor her by singing Get It While You Can, just to break up the endless selection of Bobby McGee as the only one sung. You would think that at least some women might try Piece Of My Heart, since it's been covered by Melissa Etheridge as well as Faith Hill ( for country fans).

The hard life of cats in an alcoholic family.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 4, 2019:

This is great! The cat as disgusted spouse...

Lol... Mewbacca!

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 4, 2019:

Angry looking cat.

Interesting that most "thinkers" were/are in tune with cats:

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 4, 2019:

This one appears to be plotting world domination...

Rather good advice/example about consent. [facebook.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 4, 2019:

Much as I enjoy sex and affection, I am so passive and shy about it that the woman would likely make the first move anyway. So this would not be as much of an issue with me as with most men. Of course here, I am discussing how it is with me and someone new. After breaking the ice, I am more confident and comfortable initiating.

Okay .

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 4, 2019:

I visited your profile and looked at your pics. Based on the last one in the array, you have easily above average looks, which in online dating is all you need to get lots of interest from men. Out of all those opportunities, all you need to do is keep your head on straight about the qualities and type of man you want and continue sorting thru them to find ones that fit you and feel as interested and attracted to you as you are to them. I hate to sound jealous and envious, but I would be happier to be you and getting lots of chances to date from interested people rather than just sitting on the sidelines and almost never meeting anyone because my looks are only average and my lifestyle and cultural traits are too offbeat to attract anyone in my area on a paid site, where almost everyone is much more mainstream in their thinking, culture and lifestyle than here on Agnostic. I can't change my identity, cultural preferences, and lifestyle traits to attract women any more than I can change my baldness or find the will and motivation at my age to turn my average body type into muscled and toned. I am average in appearance and will never be more than that the rest of my life. And I can't take the risk of relocating for someone I meet online because I need my friends here too much to help me cope and hold me together. I won't risk leaving them and having it fall apart later. Guess we're both feeling stuck in our situations.

Something I haven’t seen posted (not that it hasn’t been but I don’t live on this site so I ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 3, 2019:

Some people are just mean, others don't know or want to know how to disagree with others without being mean. I have had little experience with scammers on Agnostic, but I have had a lot of encounters with people on these boards who are either trolls or just plain intolerant people who are unable or unwilling to disagree without turning it into a personal criticism or attack on me. I do have strong opinions, but I really do try to not attack or criticize others just for disagreeing with me. I have blocked 9 people so far and there probably will be more. I will try to be respectful of others, but if they use snark or sarcasm, for example, when I am discussing something that is serious or important with me, I see that as being mean and attacking as it is really just an indirect way of demeaning, belittling, or making fun of me when I am being sincere or serious about an issue or experiencing. All of which is actually a form of bullying, whether most people here are aware enough to recognize that or not. That type of behavior is a way of saying, " Your feelings are either overblown or don't really matter anyway" and for that matter neither do you........

I am the eldest son of a Austrian father and German mother and I have two younger sisters.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 3, 2019:

When people have the opportunity to cheat someone else for a lot of money, you find out who they really are, sometimes surprisingly, sometimes not. Until they face that kind of temptation, lots of people seem to be something other than that. I am glad that my father has made his bank's trust advisor the executor of his estate so there will be no favoritism or opportunity for this sort of thing when he dies. I and my siblings will all receive an equal share of the estate as he has informed us all of this. I'm lucky that he has always cared about seeming fair to all his children, so he will want that reputation to follow him after his death. I'm lucky my father was a judge and so he's always been very organized and prepared for things. So sorry you went thru this shit. Your sibling's behavior is the kind of thing that sometimes makes me wish there was a hell so people like that can get what they deserve eventually even if they don't get it from the legal system in this life.

I love how socially progressive the Dutch are.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 3, 2019:

I think that is a great piece of social engineering, but kind of ironic. Because at the assisted living facility that my father lives in, located in a university town, almost all the direct care staff are college students. They don't live there, but they are a bit like an extended family for the residents, which is what the Dutch program is giving them, as well as neighbors.

-> Lucy Flores. Comments?

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 3, 2019:

If this is true, I hope it sinks Biden and he doesn't run. Even if it's not true, I hope it sinks him so the Dem leaders can't stick us with another corrupt corporate Dem who will lose to Trump. If Biden goes down, then they will have to use Beto or Harris to force down the throats of progressives like me so they can lose again to Trump. Only rubes and the naive still think that the Dem establishment cares more about winning a prez election than making sure that a progressive candidate never becomes prez.

"Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 3, 2019:

Look where it got him at the end of the movie. Sad, but inspiring movie.

Gracie is beggggging for food.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 2, 2019:

Why not just one bowl? She obviously is not going to end up just skin and bones...

Update on my last post In case you havent read it, basically i had a potential opportunity to ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 2, 2019:

I dunno, I personally would feel weird about trying to meet up with her on the trail. Odds are you would have to go back several times to show up when she was there. I say go back to the restaurant and try again. Life is short, it's worth the risk. Good luck.

The paid dating site I'm on-rhymes with Batch-just removed 4 traits from its checklist of member ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 2, 2019:

Meant to say in my above post, which won't let me edit it, that I have no illusions that many women do not have an issue with dating bald men.

The paid dating site I'm on-rhymes with Batch-just removed 4 traits from its checklist of member ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 1, 2019:

What about the other traits of income level or occupational category? Would you want to know what the person was looking for in those trait categories? As well as what income level they were at?

The paid dating site I'm on-rhymes with Batch-just removed 4 traits from its checklist of member ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 1, 2019:

Tried to edit the post, so here I'll do it here. Wanted to add that there must be a great number of women that won't date bald men or the hair growth/restoration industry would not have so many TV commercials and such a profitable industry.

Rigby here created a menace earlier.

TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 1, 2019:

"Tired now....he needs a nap...." Now that his work is done, lol. He even looks naughty.

Karen? ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Kitty gets the last laugh on hooman....

Croby Stills and Nash made some awesome music. What are your favorite tunes? I have so many.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Wooden Ships, which was a collaboration with the Jefferson Airplane.

Had a date tonight with a significantly younger man.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 27, 2019:

I had my only LTR with my late wife who was 16 years older than me. We were together 22 years, married for 20. It was the best years of my adult life. Neither of us had kids or were very close to our families. We liked most of the same things and had a very healthy balance of friends and time together as a couple, little time with family. I never thought that after her death it would be so hard to find anyone compatible or much like her to date, but it sure is. I'm not willing to date more than 8 years older than me now because I am now much older than when I met her and am in an age group where anyone's health can change drastically in a short time no matter how healthy they are when you meet them and I also have no desire to be widowed again soon. What I have learned from my marriage to my late wife is that large age differences can work, as mine did, if you really have the right things compatible between you and are committed to compromise and trying new activities as you spend time together and get older together. We didn't just keep doing the same things together the whole time we knew each other.

Are women aware of being played by a charming, subtle flirt?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 25, 2019:

You're absolutely right and the worst ones in my book are the guys who use lots of totally phony, calculated humor around women that consists of very corny, self-deprecating humor so they look as non-threatening as possible to women. Some women just eat this up even tho other guys can spot this in a minute and later after the guy has got the woman hooked then he will start letting out some of his real mean-spirited and sarcastic humor. I first saw this demonstrated by guys in support groups long ago and then recently in a group for widowed people.

The terror!

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 25, 2019:

That is so funny, cute and appropo to the movie.

Snowballs. Today's cheese. ???

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 23, 2019:

Poor cat was scared...

If America has known peace for only 17 years since 1776, does that make them the most aggressive ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 22, 2019:

In a word, yes. The other top nation for that would probably be England, for the same reason as the US. Both countries have very involved in building empires around the world. England got out of that decades ago, but the US continues to expand its empire to this day.

NOT SARCASM, GENUINELY CURIOUS: Reading through the posts here it has been suggested by some to rate...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 22, 2019:

I think I know what you are asking, but I don't want all the drama it would cause if I answered you here on the boards. If you are truly interested in rating yourself or getting a rating from others so you can try to only pursue those at your own level or rating for looks, PM me and I will try to explain my understanding of it. Unless you are serious about trying to do this only for the purpose of online dating thru a paid site, I wouldn't bother with the exercise as it would have no other value, at least in my mind. The short answer would be that everything goes into the rating, all the factors you listed above. Your profile has no photos and you don't even list your age. I am skeptical that you are actually interested in learning about this.

Could you date someone that looks like someone you despise.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Probably not. I once ran into a woman on Batch that had a pic that looked way too much like one of my sisters. It creeped me out and I didn't even bother looking at her profile.

[cnn.com] Pete Buttigieg is the hottest candidate in the 2020 race right now

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Yawn. Yet another example of a Dem whose whole appeal is about identity politics. Nothing that will change the status quo. No wonder Joe Scarborough likes him.

In my online (dating site) profile I have stated what I hope to convey is polite caution.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 21, 2019:

I totally agree. I usually don't give out my phone number until at least the second or third in person meeting, about the same with my personal e-mail. However, to make sure I can stay in touch until then, I ask the woman how soon their membership runs out so we don't end up disconnected too soon from the paid dating site. I would also wait til the third meeting to give them my last name or address. By the same token, I would not ask the woman for her info until after the third meeting. Until then, we could communicate thru messages on the dating site.

Beto's Campaign pulled in $6.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Doesn't surprise me at all. Bernie's donors are almost all small amount donors, while I bet lots of Beto's gave much bigger donations than Bernie's donors. I bet the average $ amount per donor was much higher with Beto's bunch. I don't trust him at all. Along with Biden and Harris, he is being set up to be one of the annointed Dems that the party leaders and establishment, along with the huge donors, will try to shove down the throats of true progressives like me and Bernie's supporters. Just another sellout corporate Dem, people. Don't be fooled....

I have been having to style my hair in a 1962 middle aged matronly hairdo while playing Benjamin's ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Could you say some things about how the stage version differs from the well known movie version? I know that in the film version Ben's parents didn't have that much screen time, maybe about three scenes or so. From how you describe the hairstyle, it reminds me of Tammy Fae Bakker, or some other Pentacostal TV preacher type.

How could I not get my boy a bowl that has his name in it? ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 20, 2019:

If I had Munchie it would be so easy to spoil him.

Today I really contemplated opening up a standard dating profile (ie: pof or okcupid) again.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 20, 2019:

I can so relate, but I am determined to not die alone. I suffered enough watching my late wife lose her mind and die for several years. I know I deserve better than dying alone after what I've been thru.

When you show a friend (and I use that term loosely now) a photo of your new beau and she tells you ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Unfortunately, people with her values are in the majority of the world at large, even if they aren't the majority on Agnostic.com. I know from my experience on Batch that it appears the majority of women on there seem to care more about looks, money, and the status of a man's job than about his character and personality. But people with those values are not someone I want as a friend, family member or someone to date. No wonder so many of those women I see on Batch who seem to have these values are divorced, probably because they married based on looks and how much the man would impress their friends and family with his looks, job, or money rather than compatibility and heart. Let me preemptively say that all this goes both ways..... When I met my late wife, I knew that my family would not be favorably impressed by her because she was much older than me, so I took my time in introducing her to my family, because my family cares more about appearances than what is in people's hearts. They later came to really like her, of course. I had no such hesitation about introducing her to my friends because they share my values, unlike my family. My friends immediately liked and accepted her, no surprise. I often think both men and women make this mistake of caring too much what others, who don't share their values or really care that much about them, think about a potential partner instead of listening to their hearts and being true to themselves. As my friends said, if you pick the wrong person, you're the one will have to live with the mistake, not your family or even your friends, so you better listen to yourself more than them. Much as the Carrie Underwood song Before He Cheats is popular with the redneck, country crowd, I loathe that attitude of endorsing violence for any personal grievance. One of countless examples of what I hate about country music. Please don't lower yourself to that and instead just kick this "friend" to the curb.....

My almost 17 year old cat was sort of lethargic and hiding away until I put out this boot box.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 20, 2019:

My neighbor's cat is pretty lethargic except that she loves playing with tissues also.

Anyone having any luck out there?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 19, 2019:

None at all. In fact, during the last two weeks I haven't even seen any new members on Batch that seemed worth messaging and had almost no views either of my profile in that time.

CJ when the movie I watching is not good enough for him

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 19, 2019:

Cats can be tough and picky critics of entertainment. Maybe something with birds or squirrels would be more of interest.

I'm posting this picture of Munchie being funny as he's annoying Mazie and generally just acting ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 19, 2019:

Munchie likes sharing food....

What's an album you would recommend everyone listen to once in their lifetime?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 19, 2019:

The Velvet Underground And Nico-1967. Also known as " The banana album" because of the album cover having a banana that peeled off the album cover. Lou Reed's masterpiece.

So, l work with this 23 year old virgin Mormon kid, and l was asking him why he hasn't had sex yet.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 19, 2019:

Sounds like a pretty weird kink, but then again, we're talking Mormons...

I haven’t seen anything here about Alabama being the first state to introduce Sharia law.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

The more I look at the white nationalists in the Repub party, the more I see them as a mirror of the Islamic extremists, like the Taliban, Al-Queda, and ISIS. Reminds me a lot of what Carl Jung, the great psychologist said about the shadow self, in which individuals end up hating others that represent the other side or shadow of themselves that they are in denial about and can't consciously accept. A lot of spooky stuff that occurs at the unconscious level of the mind.... Which is why I fear these assholes more than the Islamic terrorists as these fucks have power over me and others in this country...

Rep. Steve King shares violent meme about Civil War

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

See my comment on the other thread here about King. King stays in congress because, like Trump, he really does represent the bigotry of his supporters. King's district here in Iowa is mostly made up of western Iowa, which, trust me as a lifelong resident of Iowa, is just as conservative as Nebraska, its neighbor to the west. A state (Nebraska) in which its congressional delegation continued to support Nixon all the way to his impeachment. These people are not rational or very smart. They are all white, religious, very conservative and have never had a personal relationship with anyone different from that. So they keep voting for King.

Rep Steve King R-Iowa posts meme about new civil war. Why is he still there?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I have lived in Iowa all my life and I know exactly why he is still in congress. His gerrymandered district, which is mostly western Iowa, is the reason this state is nicknamed North Mississippi among liberals. These people in Western Iowa are all white, religious conservatives who have never had any personal relationships with anyone different from themselves. King, like Trump, reflects the bigotry of his supporters. But there are Repubs in other parts of the state who are getting tired of King's outrageous behavior that embarrasses the rest of the party in Iowa. There is a lot of talk here in Iowa among Repubs that they would like to see him primaried and beaten there.

Are we going to allow Far-right apologists or possibly even agitators a forum here? Or?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I hope one doesn't start, but I'm not in favor of censorship on this site of any sincere political viewpoints. We already have enough of that in the corporate media. Let the site's members see the whole range of poli viewpoints and vote their support with their keyboards. At the same time, I don't have any optimism or really care if they learn anything from those who disagree with them, I just want all viewpoints to be allowed as long as there is not continued harrassment or bullying allowed on the forums on the part of anyone. I'm not afraid of them, I can always block....

Has profanity become the normal way to communicate?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I remember the first time I watched The Sopranos and was awed at how many F-bombs I was hearing. I heard the record for number of F-words in a movie was The Wolf Of Wall Street with Leonardo Di Caprio with 500 uses.

How to succeed without really trying ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

Very naughty cute kittie.....

Cats on St Pattys Day-not mine

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I'd gladly do whatever these two green- Irish-eyed cats wanted me to do. They are both so cute...

Has profanity become the normal way to communicate?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

It depends. I probably have a vocabulary of 10K that I can use, but at the same time I will usually curse when I am angry about something, because I want to. It's an over simplification to say that most people curse because they don't have other words to express themselves.I guess cursing doesn't, by itself, bother me. What does bother me at times is the attitude or intent of what some others say, like if it is insulting towards someone who doesn't deserve it or if they are being dishonest about something. It's not the wording, it's the message or content that matters to me. I don't like cursing when it is clearly being used solely for shock value or to look hip. In those cases it comes off as lazy or unintelligent. Last week a friend and I attended a spoken word poetry event that was mostly attended by black folks. The performers were about evenly split between black and white. The founder of the program was the host for the event and he led off the evening by talking some about the program and then reading/reciting a couple of his poems. I admit that I am probably not that qualified to judge the performers since I am not experienced at observing this stuff nor am I part of that scene. But after listening to this guy and then the later performers who were much better at both writing and performing this stuff, it seemed like the host was cursing out of a need to look hip and make up for his lack of writing ability compared to the other performers. And that is something that I do find annoying or offensive when I encounter it regarding profanity. Maybe I'm just too much of a snob when it comes to performing arts.

New high score!

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

Fat and sassy!

I was only one when Woodstock happened.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I feel the same way. I was 11 when Woodstock happened, but my late wife was 27 and she was there. No wonder we got along so well and were a great match. I still miss her and wish I could find another old hippie gal in my area that's in her 60s today. This song was the theme song to that wonderful TV series The Wonder Years. During the 60s I was the same age as the Kevin Arnold character was all thru the show so I share many of the same memories as his. On the silly side of this, the SNL parody of this performance with John Belushi as Joe Cocker having an epileptic fit/seizure during the song is priceless......

I have been having to style my hair in a 1962 middle aged matronly hairdo while playing Benjamin's ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

Glad you are still active with and enjoying theater. It is both sad and true that by age 60 all the female stage roles are no longer romantic leads. On the plus side, there are still cool, juicy roles like Martha in Who's Afraid Of Virginia Wolf? or the lead in August: Osage County.

What does the “H.” in “Jesus H. Christ” stand for?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I don't know. I've just always enjoyed using the expression "Jesus H. Christ on a goddamned crutch!" as a way to express my ultimate disgust and feeling flabbergasted at some absurd situation....

Well, after some discussions with the lead artist, my boss chose to fire me instead of getting rid ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

The few times I was forced out of a job it was the same story each time. Namely that the workplace was dysfunctional and that the way management dealt with conflict in the workplace was to get rid of the person who was speaking up about the problems and was the newest person there rather than deal with person who was the source of most of the problems there who had more power and had been there longer. That is the way office politics goes at most jobs and I learned to accept that that is the way it is. I got older and learned to pick my battles at work, keep my head down, and try to avoid the bullies who would give me the kind of problems that got me forced out of the jobs I mentioned when I was younger. I learned that most workplaces are not open to change and most managers do not have the insight and guts needed to fix chronic problems in their workplace by standing up to the bullies and toxic people in their workplace for reasons that make sense to them even if not to anyone else.

AmeriKKKan Justice.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

In the words of the bard, Bob Dylan, " They say patriotism is the last refuge. To which a scoundrel clings. Steal a little and they'll throw you in jail. Steal a lot and they'll make you king....".

This is directly from Quora: How much does Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez know about economics in the ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I wish she was old enough to run for prez, because even tho she is new to politics she is clearly a hell of a lot more real and honest than Obama ever was. And he was not that experienced in politics when he ran either. If she was old enough to run now I would support her even over Bernie. If she's still in politics by the time she's 35 and her opponents, in both the major parties haven't been able to discredit her, look for her to be assassinated if she runs for prez. Her ideas are just too dangerous to the status quo.

Too young:

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

What is an SAT?

In a paragraph describe yourself, your passions and what you’re looking for in a partner, but also...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 18, 2019:

Doesn't talk about or identify as being family-oriented, has several or more common interests with me, doesn't talk about how they enjoy social drinking, doesn't list a lot of outdoor activities, doesn't talk about how much they love college sports, doesn't identify as religious, doesn't mention liking country music. Non-smoker.

I have a close friend in my professional field whose intellect and wit are sexy to me, and we can ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 15, 2019:

No, and I am very skeptical that it happens more than once in a blue moon. To me it seems more like an urban legend that some women, not men, like to believe in so they won't feel guilty about rejecting a man who doesn't sexually attract them. I have heard a few women, not many, on Agnostic say they've experienced this, but never anyone that I have known IRL or from a paid dating site. I have heard of this from a few women IRL who were acquainted with a man while he or they were involved with someone and the woman felt no attraction then, for good reason, but not when both of them were single and available later on. At that time, the attraction was clear and immediate... In my experience, if I and the woman meet for the first one or two times and I'm not feeling any physical attraction, it's not going to happen later on, even if I ended up wishing it would happen...

Date 3: I thought that I posted this last night, but I don't see it.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 15, 2019:

I wish you well. You are doing better than I ever have with a paid site. The most times I ever went out with anyone outside of a clear mutual friendzone with anyone from a paid site was three times, with a woman who stood me up on what would have been the fourth time we met, for a movie. We chatted online later, after I got home and she had messaged me that she forgot about the meeting, but later she admitted that she had no physical attraction for me. Wish she had told me that earlier in the process.... I'm sure that in the coming months you will get together more than three times with someone and that in that process you will have more enthusiasm than you had with this guy. I've been on Batch for 18 months and this experience with the woman I mentioned is the only one I met more than twice outside of a mutual friendzone, out of 6 women I have met.

This cat is prettier than I'll ever be. ?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 15, 2019:

Ah, Persians are so cute to me, even when they have scrunched up faces.....

This is when i ask my daughter to do anything

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 15, 2019:

Poor whiny kitty is so overworked with just having to look cute all the time....

And you wonder why do you name your cats FLUFFY!!!

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 15, 2019:

Got to keep those kitties out of the dryer so they don't get hurt or killed....

After 5 years of withdrawal from life (after the death of my husband) I decided to try online ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 15, 2019:

The funny thing is I can believe and see the truth of most of Sue's criticisms, but, as has often been said on this site regarding dating behaviors brought up about one gender, it goes both ways. I long ago lost count on the paid site that I'm a member of about how many women who were in their early to mid-fifties- several years to a few years younger than me-that listed in their profiles that they would not date a man who was more than a couple years older than them, while at the same time my late wife was much older than me and I was fine with that while these days I am willing to date someone as much as 8 years older than me. I should also add that these 50-something women have no problem looking like cougar types and they also list a bottom age as low as 35 that they are willing to date..... Instead of getting upset and offended at this common behavior on the paid site, I simply respect and accept the preferences of those women and move on to others that list my age as acceptable to them. Out of curiosity tho, I have asked some women both on Agnostic and the paid site what they think is the reason for that age of women not wanting to date much older than their age and was told that it was probably the assumption of those women that all men over their mid-fifties have ED. Whether that is true or not, I'm not going to change their opinions or bother dealing with their judgemental attitude about age. Same with Rob below and what Judy said, people may get offended about other's preferences, but it's not worth wasting time trying to change them or meet someone who is not a match on something important to you. Sue is miffed that all the men in her dating pool on the paid site are into Westerns, the Bible, and NCIS. In my area, all the women are family-oriented (if not obssessed and emeshed with their family) along with being big on country music, social drinking (I'm not kidding here, most women my age in my area simply won't accept a non-drinker because, as they have told me, they "want to be able to share their drinking with a partner") and college sports. Most of them also want someone who is Christian or Catholic. I'm not going to change any of that about them either. I'll just have to settle for waiting on when the right offbeat woman finally joins my paid site and hope she likes me as I am.

Let me never engage with a person who wants to wear a genital go-pro camera during sex. [cnet.com]

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 14, 2019:

Redefined boundaries for the Facebook generation....

Well Im off the dating market.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 14, 2019:

Glad someone is beating the odds...Beats having 3 or more cats....

Munchie's home! The girls at the vet hoped that we would forget about him because they loved him so ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 14, 2019:

He looks so sweet and innocent..

Quick question

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 14, 2019:

It is hard to make friends as a retired Boomer. However I did make two good friends in the last year or so. I was probably very lucky to make each of them because in each case I met them thru joining offline groups that didn't have that many members in each case as well as each group having almost no one my age except these two people. Which just goes to show how impossible it is to find someone to date by simply joining offline groups, since dating requires way more compatibility than friendship....I doubt I will make any more new friends in the coming months.

Lucky is so hidden right meow.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 14, 2019:

On the opposite side of the coin, I once had a neighbor cat that was smart enough to go hide behind a tree when people bothered him outside.

What's one thing that a potential date might have in his/her profile that would get your immediate ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 13, 2019:

"Hates country music/loves alternative music". Also Agnostic or Atheist. If someone listed these things and also had nothing in their profile essay about family, then most likely all the other usual dealbreaker issues would be no problem, so the only other issue would be looks, which is usually decidable based on the pics.

I would think there are free thinkers athiests an agnostic women in ontario canada.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 11, 2019:

I'm sure there are non-believer women in my area, but they don't know about this site as no women have joined from my area in the last two years.

For me... assassination of JFK.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 11, 2019:

Same here, JFK. It really did seem like the world stopped for a time with that.

His name is Roger.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 10, 2019:

Well, you beat the odds. Is he from a paid site or this one?

Read a good book yesterday and wanted to pass it along.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 9, 2019:

My brother went to an Ivy league school, Dartmouth, for one year, then dropped out because it was too expensive, which was back in the 70s. Can only imagine what it costs now. He took away from it a very disillusioned view of how the offspring of the elite think and act as well as the lesson that for most of those members of elite families the main benefit of an Ivy league education as well as the top priority among their kind is the making of connections with others of their kind with which to get jobs in govt. or the private sector. It's just an expensive 4 year boarding school to party and network in.

Sophie and Skeeter at their new digs! They seem to like it!

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2019:

Love the big fluffy tail of the black cat.

Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 7, 2019:

Spent very little time during my working life in office jobs, but I still believe the movie Office Space applies to every job I ever had. I still watch it occaisionally as film therapy to enjoy the fantasy of rebelling and beating the system. Damn, it feels good to be a gansta....

Question. Do you avoid dating people with the same name as your ex or exes?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 6, 2019:

My late wife happened to have the same first name as my mother. It never bothered me, but it did get a bit confusing sometimes in conversations with family members and them confusing who I was referring to, my wife or my mother. On a related note, I know a guy that got married twice to two different Debbies and seemed to deal with it ok, he called them Debbie I and Debbie II after being divorced from both of them. Even managed to get along amicably with both of them after all these years. It takes all kinds. He is a much more easygoing man than me.......

Why the Key to a Good Relationship Is Hating the Same Things - When the Hate Is Mutual, Love Blooms.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 6, 2019:

Sounds like if I can just find a woman that hates country music and materialism as much as me, the rest of the dealbreaker issues should fall into place nicely without any big differences. Now, if I could just find that website that would attract those women, wait, maybe it's this one. Too bad there's nobody in my area......

Clarification: I guess in my efforts to keep this group drama-free, I've caused a shit storm with ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 4, 2019:

Mary I think you are explaining the situation very well. I saw the original post by someone that was a snide remark about the new member of the group. Your response was appropriate for that. The person who made the snide remark is someone I have had no problem with who also seems to usually be appropriate in her comments, but was out of line here to belittle someone she didn't like that was joining the group. If someone doesn't like a particular member, and we all have at least one or more that we feel that way about, the appropo thing to do is keep it to yourself, roll your eyes at their comments, or, if you must, block them and miss out on some of the content with this group. Or you can take the most extreme route and leave the group. Regardless, all of the above options are appropriate while firing an opening shot at the new member you don't like is not ok and is a way of trying to act like you are the admissions committee and poison the group against the new member, which is clearly against the community guidelines of this site.

Can you develop a friendship with an on line dating partner with whom you feel no chemistry?

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 3, 2019:

The short answer is a no, it will usually not work with someone from a dating site, at least with most men from our generation. I am an exception and have had platonic friendships with several women in my life, but from talking to other men our age, that doesn't seem very common. I think it boils down to most men who meet a woman from a dating site have already developed interest in her at least partly because she looks attractive to them from the profile pics, so they are slow to give up hope on a sexual relationship with her. I have no problem being friends with a woman I have met thru a dating site because, at least in my mind, once I or she have made it known that at least one of us is not interested in anything romantic or physical, then it's settled for good. In the pre internet days of voice personals, nobody knew what you looked like before you met. I met a woman that was a 9, the only one of those I have ever or will meet thru a dating site. She told me as soon as we met that she wasn't interested in me physically, obviously because I wasn't in her league lookswise and I was not hurt or offended at all because her feelings were totally understandable and she was honest with me. We were friends for two years and it was good for both of us because we were both somewhat lonely and really enjoyed each other's company and conversation. I had also been friends more recently for several months with a woman from Batch that I was not attracted to physically. But I think the way most men are wired they can not let go of the hope for a sexual relationship with a woman, no matter how clear she is about it, at least as long as they are not meeting anyone else. The other thing is that in most cases, if you meet someone on a dating site, the friendship you make with them will likely end as soon as one of you does meet someone that is a mutual match that continues, because usually one or both of the new couple are not comfortable with it continuing.

I take care of my mom who has some dementia.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 2, 2019:

I don't think you are trying to be mean to her, but my late wife had dementia and you do want them to be as comfortable as possible and surrounding them with as much of the familiar as possible is part of that. They get confused enough as it is and when they get to the late stage I will also advise you to restrain yourself from correcting her when she gets disoriented and imagines things are different than they are, like names of people or whether someone she knew is dead or not. Correcting them will only upset them more and whatever you say in correcting will quickly be forgotten. Good luck and make sure you get help with the caregiving. There comes a point in dementia care that the truth no longer matters and the best way to deal with it is to go with whatever the patient believes as to who is who and what is happening around them, etc. You know what is the truth, but it no longer matters if they do or not. It doesn't mean you're lying to them. What matters is letting them know that they and their concerns are being taken care of.

I'm sitting in a restaurant waiting for my food.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 2, 2019:

I hear you. I can be ok with eating alone if I have to, but I get really tired of eating alone almost all the time. Does that make sense? I don't feel weird eating alone at a rest., but I really enjoy it when I do get together with a friend to eat out. It breaks up the monotony and loneliness. It's been longer than I can remember since I felt weird eating alone at a rest., because I've been doing it without my late wife for over 5 years now.

They're getting meowied.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 2, 2019:

When I was a young kid we had a kitten sneak into the dryer and die in there when it ran. My mother found it and it was really upsetting to all of us. It was my introduction to death involving any creature or person I cared about.....

A few weeks ago I asked what are your favorite musicals.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 2, 2019:

I never liked BBB, either version, nor either of the Grease movies. I have always like Grease as a stage play. I have always like Sunday In The Park... Guess I'm just different. I even bought the DVD of it.

Who remembers? All these years later, they're still my favorites.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 2, 2019:

They were incredible. I quit watching the show quite a while ago as the writing just kept getting worse and worse. It seems like the only times I watch it in recent years is when I hear about a good political parody sketch on there and then I find it and watch it on the net, otherwise I have no interest in the show. Black Jepordy seems funny tho.

Domino is way into technology

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 2, 2019:

That cat is so long...

Stay Single Until You Find A Man Who Will Do These 8 Things

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 2, 2019:

Those all go without saying. I will settle for nothing less than that. Character and depth of feeling towards me are just as important as sex and looks, if not more so...

I gave up on online dating.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 1, 2019:

I share your pessimism and cynicism. Feel free to correct me if I'm misinterpreting you. I don't believe either in the "once you quit looking" cliche, it is luck-based thinking and a rationalization in my book. I also don't believe there is one perfect person for each of us. At my age, I think the best we can hope for or end up with is someone we get along with and are compatible with, because at this age we are not going to change much, if any, and also have our baggage, along with being less willing to put up with shit than when we were young. Love is still possible to find, but perfection and ideal partners are something I gave up on even before I was widowed and that's why in my profile on Batch I even say that I don't believe in finding or seeking an ideal partner and had a happy marriage without one.

Look at that face!

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 1, 2019:

He is cute. Hope he is a good mouser.

This massager sucks. It scratched my skin!

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 1, 2019:

Kitty playing peekaboo. I had a neighbor cat across the street who would stand on their living room couch and play this thru the curtains in the room. It was so cute to watch....

I am at Jonado's apartment now! Here's a photo.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 1, 2019:

I'm happy for you Jo, and of course, your guy as well. You're both having more luck than me...

Guys, this is getting under my skin and I need input.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 1, 2019:

I made the mistake of lending a book to an old girlfriend when I was in my 20s. It took me 6 months after we broke up to get it back and I had to go to her parent's house when she was visiting them to get it back. She enjoyed making things a chore, when she refused to mail it to me as I had asked her to. Read the messages... Yup, he seems to enjoy games....

You may remember that I played Mattie Fae in August: Osage County last spring.

TomMcGiverin comments on Mar 1, 2019:

I really liked both of those shows and did a lot of community theater when I was in my 20s and in my first real job. I even played George Gibbs when I was 23 because I had a whole head of hair back then along with my permanent baby face. The woman playing Emily was also about my age. Nowadays I would be terrified about going onstage to act, so I stick to karaoke for my performing fix. Hope you end up enjoying theater as much as I did back then for several years. The community theater group quickly provided me a lot to keep me busy, regular social activities besides the shows, and several new friends.