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Just had a very interesting exchange on Meetup.
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 31, 2018:
He sounds dishonest and creepy. You did the right thing.
Do people actually find dates on here? A relationship would be nice. Even short term. ?
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 31, 2018:
I actually ran across two women on here who were around my age and had compatibility %s over 80, but neither one wanted to meet me. One traded a couple messages, then ghosted me. The other told me she wasn't interested and gave me a lame excuse that simply because I was a non-drinker (who was married to a social drinker for 20 years w/no problems) that she couldn't date me because other men were "too judgmental" about her drinking. BS, I think more likely my looks were not in her league and she didn't feel like saying it. My point is that even on this site, should you find other local atheists, it doesn't mean they won't play the same games or lie the way believers do on paid dating sites.
Did popularity ever matter to you throughout High School Years?
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 29, 2018:
Never gave a damn then and still don't now. Realized even back then that what mattered was the quality of friendships and having at least enough of them to give me the support and companionship that was lacking in my family. As an adult, it seems like what I really need is about a half dozen good friends offline and local to meet my needs and cope with life's knocks, not hundreds of FB friends or followers.
Just to bring everyone up to speed: [youtu.be]
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 29, 2018:
Maybe I'm just showing my age and my inability to compete with others in the online dating game (due to their having more looks and than me), but I watched the video and all it seems to amount to is how to use slang terms to trivialize and cutely name behavior that is selfish, impersonal, arrogant, and hurtful to others who have done nothing wrong or hurtful to others, but have only committed the sin of being interested in you. Everyone has feelings, maybe even sociopaths, so it would be nice if people would keep that in mind when choosing their response to someone's online interest in them and try to treat it more like they would a compliment given to their face offline, namely with some politeness, grace, or appreciation. even if the person giving it is not compatible, wealthy, or good-looking. If they've done nothing to hurt or insult you, why be harsh or cold? I have a hard time believing that all people dating online, except maybe the most attractive-looking, are so busy offline that they can't take the time to be kinder to those who contact them on the dating sites.
The intolerance of the left.
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 14, 2018:
I agree too, plus the fact that, at least in the US, it's the racists, the rich, and the other conservatives like gun nuts and anti-abortion folks who end up using violence and preaching the destruction of the poor and minorities. If anything the right is way more "intolerant" when it comes to hurting people, but I guess that's to be expected in a country that, as Malcom X once said, "respects violence (and power). In fact, I think it;s the only thing it respects". That man was such a prophet! Since his time, it's clear to me that the only time the left has actually accomplished anything has been when they decided to stop just playing nice in their activism. Sometimes I wonder if violence has a place and will be necessary to ever reverse the class war that's been going on one-sided since the 70s. Probably will happen once most of the jobs have been sent overseas or automated.
Meeting a woman
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 14, 2018:
I've long suspected that the dating sites tend to have more men on them than women, tho that ratio varies some with the age group involved. Were you talking about online dating, offline dating or the dating scene in general?
In honor of the month and in homage to Miss Borden I give you the Villisca Ax Murder House.
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 14, 2018:
I would like to be notified by Donna if any group events are organized for the Des Moines Iowa area. Thanks!
I'm sort of at a loss with Match.
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 13, 2018:
PS- I would love for the women of this site, especially the ones in their 50s and 60s, to visit my profile and give me feedback on what they think of it. Thanks, Tom
Would you move for love?
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 13, 2018:
No, and the simple reason is that good friends are hard to come by in the first place, at any age, and at this point in life, when I am older and not working, I want to hang on to my longtime friends and not lose them by moving to be with some woman, who, may eventually die or split from the relationship with no warning. Plus, I've already moved plenty in my life and I'm sick of it.
I don't use online dating sites but for those who do... [m.top10bestdatingsites.com]
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 13, 2018:
I've been on Match a year and only met 4 women in person. It's not that I'm that overly picky. It's that I'm childless and not family-oriented along with being average-looking, a non-drinker, hates country music (in Iowa that's a big thing), not into college sports,not into redneck stuff like Nascar or motorcycles, not into outdoorsy stuff like camping, and politically liberal. That last one is not the problem with most women, but it seems like even the liberal, hipster intellectual women won't give me a chance even when they don't have kids. Guess I just don't have the looks and money to compete with other men for that small, highly-desired group of childless women who are average-looking or better on Match because in one year not a single one of them have replied to my e-mails expressing an interest in them.
Do all men want babies?
TomMcGiverin comments on Oct 13, 2018:
Speaking only for me, hell no. However from my experience on Match.com, it appears that either I'm a minority or most men are lying. I can't get anywhere with women who have kids and are family-oriented, even tho I make it clear in my profile that I'm willing to spend some family time with them after several dates, but not the majority of my time with the woman being family time. But what's really puzzling is that the minority of women on Match with no kids, will never reply to any of my e-mails expressing interest in them. My guess is that they reject me for guys who have better looks and more money. Or possibly they are looking for a guy with kids who will care for and comfort them when they are widowed and sickly.
Online dating is so awful that people are paying virtual dating assistants to impersonate them — ...
TomMcGiverin comments on Apr 28, 2018:
Fascinating and creepy article. Well worth reading.
The last of my grown up children have flown the nest.
TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 24, 2017:
I hope you have more luck than me. I was widowed a year ago and with that I also became financially secure for the first time in my adult life. Unfortunately, even with being on Match.com, women don't seem to be attracted to that status or interested in giving me a chance. Probably because I'm not physically attractive enough nor mainstream enough in my personality and lifestyle. I don't think that my age is an obstacle for finding women to date, but you may find that since most men your age seem stuck on dating only women younger than themselves.
They say that married people live longer. I think it just seems that way.
TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 23, 2017:
I seem to recall research studies in the past in which at least them married men, if not also most of the women, seemed to live longer than their single counterparts. I am guessing that the cause for that is that women tend to be more nurturing in general than men and so the married men's health tended to benefit from that. I think most of the studies concluded that married life was equally stressful and beneficial for married women, so they didn't get as much of a longevity benefit as the men from marriage. These theories and trends seem to match my experience from my one marriage, which seemed to improve my own health until my wife became ill and then the stress of that began to affect my health. I don't want or feel the need to get married again at my current age with no kids, but I sure would like to find a committed relationship sometime in the next few years. I know that I am healthier and happier that way as long as it's not with someone that is wrong for me, which is always worse than being alone....
This site is more facebook for non-beleivers than a dating site.
TomMcGiverin comments on Dec 17, 2017:
I would agree, having been on two commercial dating sites so far, Our Time and Match. It seems to me so far that on this site the members are way more smart and savvy to scams and, therefore, would probably not be worth the effort of scammers who can find far more easy marks and bigger numbers of victims on the commercial dating sites.

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Agnostic, Atheist, Humanist, Secularist, Freethinker, Spiritual
Open to meeting women
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