TomMcGiverin's Profile

"please do not mention dating sites by name" That seems weird to me.. may i ask why?

kenriley comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I was wondering if I joined other dating sites, if I would see some of the same people from this site?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

You probably would see some of the same people, depending on your local area. In my experience, I ran across one woman who was on a paid site and then she joined here after she left the same paid site we were both on. She is from my area, but she never participates in the forum discussions. In fact, none of the women from my area who are my age appear to have participated in the forums during the last year. But that's probably not unusual as most members here probably only lurk and/or use the site for meeting people to date thru PMs.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@273kelvin I did message one woman that didn't have a pic. She explained that she did that because of her job and did send me a couple pics after I asked her for one. She was attractive enough for me to want to meet her, but we didn't because we ran into a dealbreaker issue first thru messaging. I won't repeat that again when a woman doesn't have a pic with her profile because the dealbreaker issue was also something that most women mention in their profile and this one didn't.

Here’s my scary online dating horror stories.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Jeez- I can see why most women are so scared for their safety. All these guys were messed up. Explains why women are so turned off whenever a man makes sexual or even suggestive remarks until they have met in person at least several times. I would have to meet at least that many times before I would...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@MissKathleen I mostly agree. My profile has been proofed by several people, mostly women and revised a few times, it's as good as it can get. Yes, most women do read profiles, but only on a minority of the men who message them because they simply don't have the time when they get so many messages. And, as I said, even tho I write very good initial messages reaching out to women, only about 30-40% of them end up viewing my my profile, simply because of how many other men are messaging them. As EyesThatSmile from this site said to me, I simply have too much competition and so most women I am interested in never even see my profile.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@273kelvin I once in a great while get a message from a woman with no pic, same with profile views. I will not respond if there's no pic and I won't reach out to someone with no pic. If they are missing much in answering the profile ?s, I won't message them either, because there isn't enough info.

Here’s my scary online dating horror stories.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Jeez- I can see why most women are so scared for their safety. All these guys were messed up. Explains why women are so turned off whenever a man makes sexual or even suggestive remarks until they have met in person at least several times. I would have to meet at least that many times before I would...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@MissKathleen In my online experience, women who have chatted with me from the paid site about the process, say they get tons of messages and they do use pics as the first line of screening which guys to pick for viewing their profile. From there, they then pick which ones to reply to based on the guy's pics, profile and content of their message to the woman. So, in the first place, not having a handsome enough main pic means in most cases your profile won't even be looked at. In my experience, that's true, most women I message don't even see my profile. After having attractive enough pics, then having a confident and compatible profile for that woman then comes into play. That's where the more passive guys get screened out of the process, if they already haven't been on looks.

Here’s my scary online dating horror stories.

MissKathleen comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Scary. Enough to make me not want to meet anyone from any site.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

I don't blame you. I have been trading messages for a few weeks now with a woman who has been on three paid sites so far and was about ready to give up for good on online dating. She is very wary of meeting in person, but now I can see why.

Here’s my scary online dating horror stories.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Jeez- I can see why most women are so scared for their safety. All these guys were messed up. Explains why women are so turned off whenever a man makes sexual or even suggestive remarks until they have met in person at least several times. I would have to meet at least that many times before I would...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@MissKathleen Oh, I think I have a lot of company among men. It's just that being a more passive, nice guy type, we usually end up being passed over in the process for guys that are more aggressive and confident. That, I think, is the Catch-22. Women like guys who come off confident, but on the other hand, these same men are also more likely to be less of a gentleman than the more passive, sensitive types. What's a woman to do, right?

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

ProudMerrie comments on Jan 22, 2019:

My first experience was on here. At that time I had an actual profile photo. His was very attractive. We messaged and talked on the phone for I think something like six weeks before we actually met in person. When we met, the physical attraction was immediate and strong.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

Good for you. You're lucky this site had someone compatible in your area. I have yet to meet anyone in person from here. Traded messages with a couple and talked on the phone with one.

The 1st guy that I actually met irl seemed like a good match.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Wow, never had anything like that. Glad you found out before you had sex with him. I've only met 5 women in 15 months. Out of those five, I was only physically attracted to one of them and, of course, she wasn't to me..

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@kenriley No offense, but you're bald like me and around the same level of looks, so I would guess your online dating would turn out about the same. Average looking guys meet maybe 6-8 women a year in person with online dating. Women generally get a lot more attention and have the opportunity to meet a lot more men than that, even if they have standards. The better looking guys do the vast majority of actual dates from online dating while guys like us sit on the sidelines, along with the below average-looking women.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@SleeplessInTexas Ok, so that sounds like a minimum standard to me, correct? I think you have a lot of company among women, that will not date a bald man. But my point is that you do screen on looks, like I do, at least on some things and would not message back a bald man after seeing his pic.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@SleeplessInTexas My point is that regardless of what is in their profile, would you message a man back if his profile pics looked downright ugly or below average in his looks? Because I think most if not all people do have minimum standards on looks and screen out messaging people who don't at least meet those standards.

The 1st guy that I actually met irl seemed like a good match.

escapetypist comments on Jan 22, 2019:

I wonder if I'd have better luck with women if I pretended to be married pretending to be single

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

Depends on the woman.

I know this has been discussed before in the general forum, but I would like to maybe confirm a ...

SleeplessInTexas comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Looks are not as important to me as his personality, attitude, and emotional connection. Those things are what's going to most likely lead to an intimate encounter.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

I get all that and agree, but don't you think that everyone screens to some degree according to looks? Are you saying that, for example, if you got messages from 100 different men a week, that you would reply to even the men who were below-average looking? I doubt most women would... I screen some according to looks as well as other traits which are dealbreakers to me, like whether the woman identifies as being very family-oriented, politically conservative, likes country music a lot, is fairly religious, etc.. I won't message a woman if her pics don't seem at all attractive to me and I think most people are that way, men and women.

Is anyone who they seem?

Sticks48 comments on Jan 22, 2019:

Eventually, you need to talk on the phone. You really can't get a real read on someone in print. People can be whomever they want to be on line. Some might be able to fake it on the phone, but not as easily, where questions are answered on the spot. People also miss read what people print. I have ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

I agree. If someone online seems compatible, I want to either meet in person or at least have a phone call after I've traded a few messages. Anything else makes me wonder why they are reluctant or if they are hiding something. Message trading can be confusing and will only get you so far anyway. In person is the real test for chemistry and more of a real idea who they are. Most women are ok with meeting in person after reading my profile and then trading a few messages with me, if they even reply to me in the first place. But I am ok with having a phone call before they meet me. So far only two women wanted to talk by phone before meeting. The others were ok with meeting sans phone talk after trading messages a few times.

Ok Merrie.

ProudMerrie comments on Jan 22, 2019:

That was my thought. I guess I spent too many years working for attorneys. Of course, there are ways around that of course because the English language is such a marvelous thing, particularly if you're out in a boat reeling in rainbow trout. ;)

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

That's what I thought. Now, as to that rainbow trout thing, I saw that reference in another thread. Can you spell that one out for me?

I was supposed to have a lunch date today with a new guy I met online but we postponed it until ...

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 22, 2019:

You're a brave soul to consider relocating at our age. Are you doing so to escape where you live or for someone you want to date?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@ProudMerrie I hear you. I feel somewhat that way about my area. Everyone is so damn family-oriented, unlike me, even the women without kids.

Rape Culture No Myth.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 21, 2019:

Reminds me of the swimmer from Stanford. This guy got away with it because he was rich and connected. The rich and connected have always gotten away with things, whether they are a Kennedy or a Repub.. It's not about their politics, it's about their class status.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 22, 2019:

@GinaKay Yes it is and always has been. We have one justice system for the rich and another for everyone else. I'll believe otherwise as soon prisons have a fitting % of rich folks.

I stopped at a local restaurant after shopping today.

Lilith comments on Jan 21, 2019:

I go to a weekly cocktail party at a nice little bar in town. It really is "Where everyone knows your name" and we do not look at our phones but chatter away into the night. I am lucky.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 21, 2019:

That sounds lovely. I bet they are all Boomers tho, like you and I. Younger folks would never choose to engage that way.

It costs nothing, NOTHING, to treat another with respect.

TheMiddleWay comments on Jan 20, 2019:

I respect everyone until they show me disrespect... then, I show them even more respect! By showing respect to everyone and everything at every time not only am I leading by example in how to show respect but I don't give them an excuse to increase their disrespect because I've disrespected ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 21, 2019:

@TheMiddleWay I don't care about changing them and I don't expect to. You are making assumptions about my intent. I also don't care about them changing their attitude towards me. Once they disrespect me, I have already written off caring how they feel about me and am just interested in embarrassing them and letting them know they dissed the wrong guy. Enjoy your kumbaya approach without me......

It costs nothing, NOTHING, to treat another with respect.

TheMiddleWay comments on Jan 20, 2019:

I respect everyone until they show me disrespect... then, I show them even more respect! By showing respect to everyone and everything at every time not only am I leading by example in how to show respect but I don't give them an excuse to increase their disrespect because I've disrespected ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 21, 2019:

Disagree. I give respect for openers, but my golden rule is that I give back to others what they give to me. Disrespect me and the gloves come off, as I can verbally be one nasty SOB. I love verbal combat in those situations and can hold my own with the best of them, including lawyers. Of course, I do pick my battles to avoid those who could physically whup me. Haven't been punched yet.

I stopped at a local restaurant after shopping today.

Deiter comments on Jan 21, 2019:

Before Louis CK's fall, he did an interesting bit on how people have become so uncomfortable with just sitting in their thoughts, with the sadness or loneliness or whatever it is they're hoping to find escape from in their smart phones, that they can no longer do what was once a major part of normal...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 21, 2019:

@Wildflower I miss having a partner, but I am fine with my own company in public. I can read, just sit and enjoy my thoughts, or talk to a stranger. All are equally comfortable for me. But not the younger folks, they don't seem to be able to stand it without their phones to stare into.

This place has 2 goals.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 20, 2019:

There's nobody for me either from this site in my area. I'm as fed up with it as you. Paid sites are the only other real option, at least for me, of meeting anyone.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 21, 2019:

@Lillyfield41 Already tried it for two years, never meet anyone to date. I'm already doing the activities that interest me. Not interested in wasting time going to ones that don't interest me when it won't increase my chances of meeting someone to date. Those activities don't have any single women that aren't already on Match. I know, because I have checked the Meetup.com groups for those activities and saw the same women from Match listed as members of these groups. Don't assume when you haven't done the research....

The changing meanings of words from one country to another. Any examples?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 20, 2019:

My father's side of the family has ancestors from Catholic Northern Ireland. If I had grown up there, with my socialist political leanings, I likely would not have ended up non-violent and would instead most likely would have joined the IRA, as did some of my distant relatives from there. Geography ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 20, 2019:

@SimonCyrene I admire that in you Simon, I'm just doubtful I would have turned out that way, being honest. As I understand it, the conflict in Northern Ireland has never really been that much about religion and more about ethnic discrimination and civil rights based on religious identity. For example, not being able to get decent housing or a job because your family is Catholic, even if you are not a practicing member. In other words tribalism based on family history.

Been looking, no luck yet. ?????

Deiter comments on Jan 20, 2019:

Am I cynical or do people who make the claim "I'm not a game-player. I like nice guys," are probably lying?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 20, 2019:

@ProudMerrie No, PM, you're not a player, at least not in my book. You're handling things the same way I would in your shoes. And no, BTW, if a woman lied by several years about their age, I would reject them too, as that would probably be only the the first in a series of lies they would tell...

Meeting people?

Carin comments on Jan 20, 2019:

There just don't seem to be as many members in the south.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 20, 2019:

Maybe because it's full of Bible-thumpers, crackers, and rednecks. Too unliveable for folks like us.

Been looking, no luck yet. ?????

Deiter comments on Jan 20, 2019:

Am I cynical or do people who make the claim "I'm not a game-player. I like nice guys," are probably lying?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 20, 2019:

You are not cynical. I am on Match and I try to steer clear of the profiles that say that because they are probably either lying or else projecting when they say they are not a game player, ie. doth protest too much...

Fahrenheit 11/9 included with Amazon Prime.

GuyKeith comments on Jan 19, 2019:

This is a very sobering documentary. It is very hard to watch. It is beyond infuriating. How our voters, with their apathy and ignorance, allowed this to happen is shocking. Politicians only care about power and money. They have successfully harvested the apathy, racism and ignorance of the American...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

Great review Keith. I wish we weren't doomed, but I think we are. I saw it anyway, depression or not. In the past, Moore has gone too easy on the corrupt Dems and that was something I faulted him on, but he was giving the whole picture of blame here.

Does society owe lazy or stupid a living?

genessa comments on Sep 2, 2018:

how do you define stupid or lazy? someone perhaps who thinks "there" means "their"? and if so, which is it -- too stupid to know the difference, or too lazy to learn it? how does THAT feel -- being judged by someone who doesn't know you? maybe you used voice and it put in the wrong word; maybe ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

Your comment speaks volumes, g. This irrational resentment of the "undeserving" is one of the big reasons we don't have single payer healthcare like the rest of the First World. I can't count the number of times I've heard hicks or rednecks in my state say that having single payer would be wrong because "all those illegal Mexicans" would be eligible, to which I tell them, " So you would rather go without affordable health care, just to spite them?" Stupid is as stupid does....

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

GwenC comments on Jan 19, 2019:

I have found in my experience on other dating sites that most people don't pay attention to a specified age range anyway, so why list it?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@pasha-one-nine I saw that movie too and liked it. There's thread on here about that movie. I don't remember that quote tho. I'm not afraid to make the first move, just don't want to waste my time with additional first messages to women who will reject me on age, if nothing else, if their profile can simply specify their dating age range and spare me the trouble. I already send out at least a couple dozen of those a month as it is.

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

Wildflower comments on Jan 19, 2019:

Maybe some don't care what age a potential mate is. Age is just a number, for some anyway... like me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@Wildflower Noted. I hovered on him but didn't see an age listed, so I had no idea he was 70.

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

Wildflower comments on Jan 19, 2019:

Maybe some don't care what age a potential mate is. Age is just a number, for some anyway... like me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@dahermit Where there's enough money, there is always someone willing to make the transaction.... Most of us prefer relationships that are not a business transaction, but to each.....

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

MsAl comments on Jan 19, 2019:

It is a question on the profile. I wonder why it doesn't show up for everyone to see. Also the distance willing to travel question. I see the compatibility ratings for people who are far outside my preferred age and distance.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

You may be right. If someone visits someone's profile, they probably can click on a button and get the member's answer to the age range ?, but it's not there on the bio that you see when you first click on someone's avatar. I agree with you that it's kind of pointless that the site displays compatibility ratings for members who are outside your preferred age range and distance. Nope- When you visit someone's profile, there isn't a way to find out what their dating age range is. It will tell you their preferred distance and if they will relocate or not, but that's it.

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

GwenC comments on Jan 19, 2019:

I have found in my experience on other dating sites that most people don't pay attention to a specified age range anyway, so why list it?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

Maybe most people don't honor or respect the wishes of the person's range, but I do and I don't want to waste my time messaging someone who will reject me for being too old for them. You must not be aware of how much men get rejected on paid dating sites in the first place, since they end up having to do almost all of the reaching out in the first place on those sites, so why shouldn't they at least get a little help avoiding the women who will reject them on age?

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

Wildflower comments on Jan 19, 2019:

Maybe some don't care what age a potential mate is. Age is just a number, for some anyway... like me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@Wildflower I respectfully disagree on the everyone line and will leave it at that. I don't care enough to PM members about it in general. If I was interested in dating someone who lived in my area, of course I would PM them with my interest in dating them and would of course find out that way. I have no quarrel with others that date people far apart from them in age. My late wife was 16 years older than me and it worked great. But I was much younger when I met her and now having been widowed and being much older than I was then, I won't date someone that much older as I don't want to be widowed again anytime soon..

I think it's interesting that the members who are interested in dating don't seem to indicate in ...

Wildflower comments on Jan 19, 2019:

Maybe some don't care what age a potential mate is. Age is just a number, for some anyway... like me.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

I understand, but I think everyone has some personal range of how low or high they will go. I see comments all the time on here about someone being irritated or even offended at PMs from someone as young as their adult kids or someone as old as their parent. As my bio says, I am open to as young as 11 years younger (tho for all practical purposes, that is pretty meaningless as very few women more than 5 years younger than me will date someone my age at least on Match) and 8 years older.

Spending a few days with a new man is a microcosm of the future relationship

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 18, 2019:

He is the way he is because he has big bucks and a high status job, same with doctors. Unfortunately there are too many women who will put up with a lot of crap from men in both professions because of these facts, even more so if the man has good looks. He has no incentive to change his personality ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@MissKathleen Maybe someone else will. I've done my best. Maybe look at yourself, as not that many people on here seem to end up arguing with me. It's not my day to be responsible for you. Now, would you like a block or are we done?

Spending a few days with a new man is a microcosm of the future relationship

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 18, 2019:

He is the way he is because he has big bucks and a high status job, same with doctors. Unfortunately there are too many women who will put up with a lot of crap from men in both professions because of these facts, even more so if the man has good looks. He has no incentive to change his personality ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@MissKathleen It was related to the topic, as the man's problem was a sense of entitlement. My comments appear to have been fine with the OP, LiterateHiker, and there was probably a reason she shared that the man was a retired lawyer as she felt it was pertinent to his sense of entitlement. Let the OP speak for herself, Kathleen. She could have made your criticism for herself and I would have gladly accepted it. I'm done.....

Spending a few days with a new man is a microcosm of the future relationship

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 18, 2019:

He is the way he is because he has big bucks and a high status job, same with doctors. Unfortunately there are too many women who will put up with a lot of crap from men in both professions because of these facts, even more so if the man has good looks. He has no incentive to change his personality ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@MissKathleen Yes there are, but way fewer women will pair up with them. Their status is low value, to use the modern term.

This isn't how an elder should be treated in representing his people in peaceful protest.

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 19, 2019:

I guess I am just too old and cynical, but I no longer have the desire to attend these kind of protests and participate in the ritual of confrontation and theater with the opposing side. It seems to change nothing and there is no meaningful interaction. Yes, these kids are empty-headed idiots, as ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@Charity I guess I just assume these days that any public political event is going to draw counter-protesters and that is just a risk and presence you have to expect.

Spending a few days with a new man is a microcosm of the future relationship

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 18, 2019:

He is the way he is because he has big bucks and a high status job, same with doctors. Unfortunately there are too many women who will put up with a lot of crap from men in both professions because of these facts, even more so if the man has good looks. He has no incentive to change his personality ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@MissKathleen How is that different than what I said? My point is that the fact of some women being attracted to him as he is allows him to stay as he is. If he couldn't find anyone willing to accept his crap, he would seriously consider changing his ways and probably end up doing so. I concede that not only women he dated but probably others as well-friends, family- have played a role in allowing him to be that way with no consequences.

Is online long distance dating a complete waste of time?

mordant comments on Jan 19, 2019:

No. Although that doesn't address the larger question of how good a use of one's time relationships are to begin with. Everyone will answer these questions differently. Any effective strategy for finding a S.O. will NOT rely on a single web site or a single strategy and it will not overlook ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

And many times, including my case, even doing as you suggest is not enough due to the competition and numbers game that it is.

Is online long distance dating a complete waste of time?

Holysocks comments on Jan 19, 2019:

I spent 4 years in an online relationship, proposed marriage online, went to meet her, and she suddenly had a job offer in Egypt.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@HomeAloneSunday I have the same rule, 55 mile distance. Reason for that is to include women from a city with a very liberal small college in it.

Walmart gains patent to eavesdrop on shoppers and employees in stores - CNET

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 19, 2019:

As I said in another thread about empathy, going in a Walmart makes me feel like I am visiting someone in prison. This news only confirms that. The employees don't want to be there and neither do most of the customers, who are too poor to shop anywhere else. Both the employees and customers have ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

@HippieChick58 Yeah, he's lying. I'm retired and have all the time I need to wait, so I won't use a self-check line. It's my sort of passive way of standing up for my fellow humans that need jobs, futile as my protest may be. So few people realize that by using the self-check they are making a political choice against other workers. Hell, every choice we make about where we shop-local vs. corporate chain, what we spend our money on- amounts to a political choice that has consequences... The only thing that will make most of this moot is if we get a UBI, a Universal Basic Income, which would replace work for financially supporting the population that are unemployable due to outsourcing and automation.

Ahhh the 50's

Charlene comments on Jan 19, 2019:

This is the absolute truth of the 50's..Donna Reid was a lie..

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 19, 2019:

Not trying to be a know-it-all, but Donna Reed came from my state and you spelled her last name wrong. The slogan should more truthfully say make America white again...It was a great time to be a straight white Christian male, just not so great for everybody else... Pleasantville was such a cute movie..

Spending a few days with a new man is a microcosm of the future relationship

GreatNani comments on Jan 18, 2019:

So where is he now? What happened to him? Some unlucky woman end up with him?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 18, 2019:

Don't worry, he'll keep dating and eventually end up with a younger trophy wife who cooks. Because life isn't fair.....

What kind of hair style do women favor?

Mooolah comments on Jan 18, 2019:

The bald look depends on the face, the shape of the head & facial hair for men, make up & earrings for women. Some women look spectacular bald. Some white men look chemotherapy exposed. Clean hair is what is important. I rather it be shaved almost bald over any comb over. Especially the current ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 18, 2019:

@Countrywoman I was merely giving my reaction to your opinion. I do think many bald men grow facial hair, as I said, to fool themselves and maybe others into not noticing they are bald as well as a distraction from their bald head. I am by no means the only person with these opinions. Facial hair serves the same purposes as comb overs do for said men. We have both have the right to our opinions. Done...

What kind of hair style do women favor?

Mooolah comments on Jan 18, 2019:

The bald look depends on the face, the shape of the head & facial hair for men, make up & earrings for women. Some women look spectacular bald. Some white men look chemotherapy exposed. Clean hair is what is important. I rather it be shaved almost bald over any comb over. Especially the current ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 18, 2019:

I think bald men growing the facial hair looks ridiculous and doesn't fool anyone about their being bald. I won't do it to make women feel more accepting of my baldness. It's not going to change the minds of most women about whether they are attracted to a bald man.

Flipping the murder switch

SeaGreenEyez comments on Jan 18, 2019:

This reminds me of this (I love the "gets comfortable" or uncomfortable, at 00:16): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_kgRFHaNo-Y

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 18, 2019:

Poor scared kitty. Watch how the ears keep moving.

I've tried chatting with two men I 'met' on here.

Sheannutt comments on Jan 17, 2019:

I'm the same way as you, I just want to have friends to go out and have fun with.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 18, 2019:

@jlynn37 Already tried, doesn't work..

Any words of wisdom for a newcomer to this site?

Spinliesel comments on Jan 18, 2019:

I read your bio. good luck, Sir.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 18, 2019:

I hope he is kidding, lol.

WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 17, 2019:

At least she canceled and didn't stand you up. I think doing the latter is inexcuseable, not matter how scared you are. A couple months ago a woman from my local area on this site messaged me after having ghosted me several months before when she apparently left the site for about six months. When ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 17, 2019:

@Sgt_Spanky Careful there Spanky.. I appreciate the sympathy, but using that term, no matter how much I loathe what she did, will get you in trouble with the women on here. I prefer to keep my equal gender opportunity terms for offline when I run across men and women who deserve vulgar labels for their character and personality. No point in alienating the women on this site.

WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 17, 2019:

At least she canceled and didn't stand you up. I think doing the latter is inexcuseable, not matter how scared you are. A couple months ago a woman from my local area on this site messaged me after having ghosted me several months before when she apparently left the site for about six months. When ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 17, 2019:

@Sgt_Spanky She wasn't the worst. A couple months ago I was stood up for a coffee meeting by a woman from Match. We made the plans 5 days before and when I got home and messaged her she claimed that she simply forgot. No apology tho for having forgot nor any display of caring about my feelings or saying she would like to make it up to me by trying to meet ASAP. So I just took it all as a lie and that she just hadn't been interested. I messaged her that she needed to quit playing games with others and that I hope her attitude catches up with her. I think some people are just so fucked up mentally that they use sites like this and paid dating sites as ways to feed their ego by seeing how much attention they can get and playing games with others for their amusement, rather than having a sincere interest in making friends on this site or dating people on the paid sites.

I've tried chatting with two men I 'met' on here.

Sheannutt comments on Jan 17, 2019:

I'm the same way as you, I just want to have friends to go out and have fun with.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 17, 2019:

@jlynn37 Not just rural areas and small towns. I live in a metro area of 250K and there are only 4 women my age listed in my area. Messaged each of them and was rejected. Probably don't have the looks they can get in someone from a paid site.

SOCIALISM...great bull

AtheistReader comments on Jan 17, 2019:

Capitalism. It works only because mouse keeps on laughing at the notion that they are entitled to the cheese they make. They keep on buying them from the fat cats who make memes like this, while the mouse produces the cheese. But that might be too complex a thought....

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 17, 2019:

@DUCHESSA Sure, people flee communist countries. I would not want to live in a communist country and I am a socialist. There is a diff between the two. You do not see huge numbers leaving socialist countries and I would like to live in one if I were younger and able to start over.

2 YEAR AGO.

BeeHappy comments on Jan 17, 2019:

I remember. I watched all this closely. The level of injustice just tore up my heart. I wanted so badly to join them from early on in the protest. To offer some small support, I posted and shared so much on Facebook and closed my Chase account because of their ties to the oil companies. I sent ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 17, 2019:

Obama was just as much of a corporate sellout and warmonger as all the rest of them. I didn't expect much of him when he was elected so I wasn't very disappointed. He had no courage so corporate power continued unchecked and so did endless war for oil and empire. The last prez with real courage involving the MIC was JFK and look where that got him.... It may have been politically incorrect, but I was glad when Bill Maher said that Obama was W in blackface, because, for all practical purposes on economic and foreign policy as well as civil liberties, it was true. I knew that his administration would be all about identity politics to distract how much he and W were the same on most things.

It’s very difficult to meet anyone anymore...

GreenAtheist comments on Jan 17, 2019:

Isn't www.agnostic.com supposed to be the cure here ?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 17, 2019:

@GreenAtheist Won't drive more than 55 miles one way because even if we clicked, I'm not relocating and almost nobody else is either at our age, so it's not worth the grief and frustration of breaking up later over the distance.

It’s very difficult to meet anyone anymore...

GreenAtheist comments on Jan 17, 2019:

Isn't www.agnostic.com supposed to be the cure here ?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 17, 2019:

It is, but right now it's more like wishful thinking as long as the members are so scattered around the country.

Everyday... &Positivevibes

Stevil comments on Jan 16, 2019:

Does Jack Handy belong to the group?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 17, 2019:

Damn I miss Deep Thoughts With Jack Handy on SNL.....this looks just like one of them.

Dating after 50

Archer comments on Nov 4, 2018:

I'm mostly with ya Crimson. Add to that having a 13 year old at 54. SMH. I don't date. I am active, outgoing, involved, intelligent, loving, kind, generous, loyal, employed, fun, but over 50, with a wonderful kid, and carrying extra pounds. (Aka baggage in many eyes). Seems like young, slim, and ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 17, 2019:

@Soarfeet I would want to meet you and K9 Kohle if either of you lived in my area, but you don't. Likely you and @K9Kohle789 have the same problem with men our age on this site.

What is it with me and older (sometimes much older) men?

BlackDove comments on Jan 15, 2019:

Lol, I know the feeling, but I see that you are much younger than me, so I don't know why you keep getting older men. You do not look older than 40 to me. I'm 54 and I keep getting men in their 60s and some in their 70s. I hope they don't expect me to be some kind of 'nurse with a purse'. I want ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 16, 2019:

@maturin1919 What is a ginger?

It is interesting that age plays such a great role in compatibility as aging is such a new thing for...

DeStijl comments on Jan 13, 2019:

Men always find a reason to pursue younger women.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 16, 2019:

@DeStijl I guess I'm a unicorn. The longer I am on Match, the more it seems like the site is running out of women in my desired age group, so I keep getting sent Daily Matches lists of profiles that are women I have already been sent before. I am 60 and open to dating women as young as 50, but that is really meaningless as very few women that young have profiles with dating ranges that include my age. I am willing to date up to and including 68, but won't go above that because I was widowed two years ago and don't want to risk that again anytime soon with too old of a partner. On Match, at least in my area, the vast majority of women age 51-55 will only date older men who are no more than a few years older than them, so for all effective purposes, I only have women in their late 50s for the low end of my dating age range. So I am largely in the same boat as you, DS. Met only 5 women in 15 months on Match and they were all in their early or mid-60s, which is probably the only age group that I will find anyone in to date, which would be fine with me. Match seems to be running short of women who are in their mid to late 60s, so if I don't find someone there in the next year, I will probably switch to a site that specializes in older people like Silver Singles or Our Time.

What is it with me and older (sometimes much older) men?

Shouldbefishing comments on Jan 15, 2019:

No, there's nothing wrong with you. People in the 25 to 40 category are in short supply on here. ?

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 16, 2019:

So maybe she should pay up and join a real dating site that is paid. This site is overwhelmingly male and older than her.

Empathy.... Can you have too much?

TomMcGiverin comments on Jan 15, 2019:

I wanted to post this and get some feedback on whether others feel this way about visiting a Walmart. When I do visit a Walmart, because I am still not well off enough to always buy mundane stuff at a Target store instead, I always feel kind of depressed whenever I visit a Walmart. Because I look at...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 15, 2019:

@Cutiebeauty Nah, believe it or not, my ego's not that big..Thanks for the suggestion.

Apologies if the below is too authentic.

vnufall comments on Jan 14, 2019:

I think we can out grow each other. Also have to keep each other first.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 15, 2019:

I think when two people outgrow each other that talking about it won't change anything. When the problem is more the latter one, talking will.

Apologies if the below is too authentic.

UUNJ comments on Jan 14, 2019:

I’m sorry your relationship failed, but please don’t generalize that all women are the same as your wife, or even all the women you’ve dated. One of the first questions I ask couples who say their sex life died is, “What changed outside of the bedroom?” When sex dies, it’s rarely due ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 15, 2019:

@UUNJ Ok, he should have said that his wife seemed to be deluded about love and that it made him wonder if most women were also deluded in the same way, etc.. Would that have been satisfactory? No one on these boards, male or female, is going to be perfect in how well they word a post when making comparisons or generalizations about the sexes. They are sometimes going to overreach. To me, what seems more important, than some observer's strict standards of PC, is the ? of how much general truth there seems to be in their comments. I am more interested in that when I go to read a thread because even members who are anything but PC, like Davethecave, for example, make some good points from time to time. I take him as he is and look beyond his lack of PC.....

Apologies if the below is too authentic.

UpsideDownAgain comments on Jan 14, 2019:

While it's important for you to get your needs met in a relationship, it's also important to make sure you are meeting your spouse's needs as well. You can't require your needs to be meet unless you first are requiring yourself to meet your spouse's needs. The women may be withholding sex but what ...

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 15, 2019:

Man, that is actually breathtaking and explains so much. It clarifies so well the diff between mind-reading, which men so resent and assume women are wanting from them, and the actual desire for hearing what they are asking for, respecting the importance it has for them, and then putting reasonable effort and intelligence into giving them what they are asking for. Not out of grudging compliance, but because the man actually wants the woman to feel valued, respected, and nurtured. As an individual I love to be right rather than liked or popular, but I learned long ago, thankfully before my marriage, that in relationships that is a no-go if it's going to work. So I keep that habit out of friendships, dating or a partner relationship. It probably limits my number of friendships, but that's ok with me as I have enough of them and they have all lasted over 25 years.

Apologies if the below is too authentic.

seattlepanda comments on Jan 14, 2019:

Funny because although your analysis is interesting, my failed marriage was in agreement with your statement, she wanted him to change/he wanted her to not change, but our incompatibility did not affect sex. We were compatible in our sexual quirks throughout the worst of our lives together.

TomMcGiverin replies on Jan 15, 2019:

@seattlepanda I suspected so, that's why I would never try FWB.

Apologies if the below is too authentic.

Cast1es comments on Jan 14, 2019:

Love doesn't just die . You kill it . You feel sex was great while you're dating , but dies after marriage ? What changed ? When you're dating , you clean up , you show interest , you have time , you work to make your partner want you around . After marriage , you dump a lot of work and ...