Some of us might like to try this...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 12, 2019:

## If it's a desert wine, I'll take a case.

Careful who you sit next to.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 12, 2019:

## I've got a few unbearable memes on this subject.

Beautiful 'Cold' Moon! Have a great Thursday!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 12, 2019:

## You are speaking of a lunar object, no? 🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌙

The other night I was at a club where people go to dance to the blues.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 12, 2019:

"The United States population is growing at the slowest rate since 1937, when the country was in the midst of the Great Depression. "The national population grew by just 0.6% between July 1, 2017 and July 1, 2018, according to population estimates released Wednesday by the U.S. Census Bureau. That’s due to a relatively high number of deaths and low number of births, and it’s in keeping with a trend of declining annual growth. Source: https://time.com/5485023/census-us-population-growth-2018/ The US population grew the fastest right after WWII creating the baby bomers once the troops came home. If you were born in the late 1940's, you're collecting social security with a high chance of dying of old age especially in the next decade or two. With first world economic status, women can afford birth control thus yeilding smaller families. His premise of "over population" is entirely bogus. Lord knows, staring at a gal's ample cleavage won't make her horny. Research has been done with surly remarks like "My eyes are up here."

PALFREY noun a riding horse, as distinguished from a war horse. [dictionary.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 12, 2019:

## It's not a specific breed of horse. It means a small horse, generally prefered by women, with a smooth ride suitable for long distance travel. War horses are huge horses suitable for knights wearing armor and have a jarring ride. You can see them pulling the beer wagon. Nobody wants to saddle up one of those things and ride to the next town.

Night, all! Sweet dreams!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 12, 2019:

Last night after a spat with Petunia, I slept on the recliner until 4:30 a.m. That's when she swore she hear a mouse chewing up the floor under her bed. She wanted me to sleep with her because she said that'd protect her from Mickey D. Rodent. Logically, she should have let the cat inside the bed room to protect her but she wanted to have the last word on the spat. We had to chase the cat out. I never heard the mouse. Yesterday evening we bought the big sack of rat/mouse poison. Fun night.

He had "buck" teeth

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 12, 2019:

## Must have field dressed the deer and froze it first. Lot of work getting out the bench grinder to shape the deer's teeth into shape. That's assuming this isn't a tall tale.

Is trying to meet women on dating sites a bad idea while separated but not yet divorced?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 12, 2019:

## Most people consider it too risky. Dating someone who is technically still married means a third party may be cited in the divorce proceedings. After that, the judge loses sympathy for you. Cool your jets until the spouse won't be entering the picture.

Seems accurate.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 12, 2019:

## I stop drinking when I start thinking I'm pretty.

Another brilliant piece written by Mr.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 11, 2019:

## On a life time ban from Facebook. Thanks. Clay has a perchance for rhetorical questions.

But, those were the old rules....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 11, 2019:

## Here are some more for you.

But, those were the old rules....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 11, 2019:

## Stolen. Here what I've got to give you for it. There's a lot more as well.

Years and years of therapy is on the horizon

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 11, 2019:

## A lovely pair of coconuts.

Happy Hump Day! I've bundled up like Nanook! I'll bet a lot of you are freezing your nuts off! ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 11, 2019:

> I'll bet a lot of you are freezing your nuts off! ## From the sound of it, you've lost that bet especially with those living in south Florida, south Texas, southern California and of course, the Aussies. It's dam close to summer down under and the skinny dippers are working on sun burns.

Happy Hump Day! I've bundled up like Nanook! I'll bet a lot of you are freezing your nuts off! ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 11, 2019:

## Here in South Carolina, it's likely we'll get temperatures in the lower 60's (16c to 18c) today. Sweater weather. Normally, **if we get snow** it'll be January or later.

how many times did I do this.... I "think" I don't do it so much any more....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 11, 2019:

## Sometimes those are *fun* mistakes that take the longest.

Welcome to the 21st century.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 11, 2019:

## As a child the cost of a long winded, long distance phone call could cost as much as a car payment. Back then, my family learned to write the chatty ten page letter. Today people's attention spans are crushed if you write them an e-mail over 100 words. I've had more complains about carrying on my family traditions on line than anyone. 🥺

ORDNANCE.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 11, 2019:

## Anyone with a vague connection with the military knows the first defination.

Greetings! My lady and I will be in the Albany area Christmas and we plan on camping then.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 10, 2019:

## Bring your largest canteens and a life straw. Southwest Georgia can get boiling hot in May. Dehydration is a real thing, especially if you plan to take a six mile loop trail into the canyon. Trails are well kept up, steep but not so steep you'll need rope. Bring hiking poles and pack a lunch. They only have three tent sites next to the road and six sites you will have to backpack to. Make your reservations for early in the week, when it's likely you can get a tent site. No sites for RV or tow behind campers. Bottom line: primitive campsites, no showers, no hookups. Overall, you may have to stay at cheap motel for silly things like hot showers. You'll need **about** $5 a day (possibly less) to park the car. Be sure to visit the gift shop. Call in advance to find out hours/days for their interpretive center. Visit http://gastateparks.org/thingstoknow For reservation call 1-800-864-7275. To talk to a ranger for more details, call 229-838-6870. For cute women hiking into the canyon, see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR4a2szzhsE

Hopefully this isn't a repeat question, but what are your thoughts on the Elf on the Shelf?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 10, 2019:

## The elf is evidence the karma wheel is missing a few spokes.

Sure it did you sick little elfie pervert.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 10, 2019:

## Stolen to add to my elf on the shelf collection.

Over the weekend the kids and I were talking about Christmas music.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 10, 2019:

> I don't mind the radio stations that play Christmas music 24/7. ## I know which button/knob changes the channel.

me to a "t"......

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 10, 2019:

## Kp2 to Kp4

Remember folks this year....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 10, 2019:

## It's what I tell Salvation Army bell ringers.

Sorry...??

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 10, 2019:

## I'm stealing it for my camping groups.

G'Day all D Day 4/11/19 as in 4th November. Now eligable to join the throng Happy days :D

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 10, 2019:

## Planning to wear your level eight free t-shirt out on the town? The temporary spouse, Petunia, hid mine successfully for six months. Anyway, welcome to the sprawling crowd of unrepentant sinners and scallywags.

Hello Everybody

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 9, 2019:

## Don't forget to have happy today. 🥴

MARMALISE.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 9, 2019:

"Liverpudlian" sounds like an organ meat gone putrid.

Living in the twilight zone

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 9, 2019:

## It has always been thus. Oh, fudge sickles!

CONTRARIETY - opposition or inconsistency between two or more things, as: His actions evoked in her...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:

## There is the school of the contrarian investing: do exactly the opposite of what the crowd believes is going to happen.

Food for thought.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:

A) Saudis allow us to have military bases on their soil as oppossed to Syria, Iran, etc. This makes the Saudis allies. B) Saudis train with the US military so they can fight alongside of the US. C) Now the important part: they rarely back OPEC and spend billions on US weapons as well as the training on how to use and maintain those weapons. Hey, money talks.

Good Morning Everyone! A little groggy-headed this morning.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:

## This morning it was the haul Christmas decorations out of the back yard shed and see how many rodents tried to eat them.

I smiled. I won’t be going in.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:

## They welcome them as a pretense to tell them how bad they are.

This can't be true.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:

## His solution is to "relax" water pressure requirements? The guy is having a cow.

Let's Play!😀

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:

## I needed a ton of coal delivered to heat the house.

um·bel·lif·er·ous (ŭm′bə-lĭf′ər-əs) adj.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:

## As a garderner, I've grown a few of those type plants but no luck with parsnips. Root crops are always a disappointment for me. Common fennel and dill weed comes in like gangbusters.

Anybody?....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:

## Weight limit reached.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:

## We will have no Mexicans walking on water.

found a good one!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 8, 2019:

## The horror!

When a guy asks you out for drinks, and you tell them you don't drink alcohol, so they retort with, ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 7, 2019:

## I see two ways to go here. 1) Say "I don't like bars." If you want to crush his soul, start rattling off all the reasons: loud, smokey, full of drunks . . . . . and they put the juke box on blast. You might consider suggesting Starbucks instead. 2) When you get there, order a **virgin** drink without alcohol, for example the fabled Shirley Temple. You might want a virgin bloody Mary, a virgin pinta colada and so on. Also available in the dreaded red neck cinder block beer bar: sodas.

Some myths die harder than others

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 7, 2019:

## Keep at it until you need glasses.

KEDGEREE.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 7, 2019:

>another one being devilled kidneys ## That is one dish that'll keep the gringos from visiting.

Have had this kicking around in my humor folder for a while.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 6, 2019:

## I figure it's the starting ground for a fur coat.

Yup...Must be a trump supporter!!!!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 6, 2019:

## That's most of the population in Seneca, South Carolina.

Censorship saves the day again!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 6, 2019:

## The "star thing" is called an asterisk. It's *supposed to* stop children from using common vulgarities, which is one of the top first things childern learn. To avoid using vulgarities one often sees a series of symbols in lieu of letters. Vulgarities are what the largely uneducated use instead of more demanding formal English and discriptive adverbs and adjectives. Use "fuck" often enough, it loses it's effectiveness as a "F bomb." Therefore if one wants to sound educated vulgarities should be avoided and rarely used. People who don't give a rat's patootie and take pride in identifying the common rabble use vulgarities to excess. Feel free to treat those people poorly because they don't have all that much going for them anyway. If you **got to** ask what an asterisk is, how bright are you?

JURISPRUDENCE.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 6, 2019:

## It's a shade more complex than that, although you're in the ballpark. *Jurisprudence has many aspects, with four types being the most common. The most prevalent form of jurisprudence is that it seeks to analyze, explain, classify, and criticize entire bodies of law, ranging from contract to tort to constitutional law. Legal encyclopedias, law reviews, and law school textbooks frequently contain this type of jurisprudential scholarship. *The second type of jurisprudence compares and contrasts law with other fields of knowledge such as literature, economics, religion, and the social sciences. The purpose of this interdisciplinary study is to enlighten each field of knowledge by sharing insights that have proved important to understanding essential features of the comparative disciplines. *The third type of jurisprudence raises fundamental questions about the law itself. These questions seek to reveal the historical, moral, and cultural underpinnings of a particular legal concept. The Common Law (1881), written by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., is a well-known example of this type of jurisprudence. It traces the evolution of civil and criminal responsibility from undeveloped societies where liability for injuries was based on subjective notions of revenge, to modern societies where liability is based on objective notions of reasonableness. *The fourth and fastest-growing body of jurisprudence focuses on even more abstract questions, including, what is law? What is its relation to justice and morality? What is the role of a judge? Is a judge more like a legislator who simply decides a case in favor of the most politically preferable outcome? What is justice? What is liberty and freedom? Source: https://www.abyssinialaw.com/about-us/item/1075-what-is-jurisprudence

A god among Dogs

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 6, 2019:

## I could use a fawn herding puppy.

Damn those hunters....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 6, 2019:

## No hunting license required.

I think the same way, probably cheaper too! Lol

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 5, 2019:

## Every morning I fire up my espresso machine to make a eight ounces of espresso for my (predictably) eight ounce coffee mug. Lately, I've been mixing it with hot chocolate. Not all that far from what they're ordering. So if you've been wondering why I type so much . . . .

Photo Bombing my Daughter on her Engagement Announcement Day.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 5, 2019:

## Tip the justice of the peace generously. Petunia's dad handed her $500 and said "That ought to handle it." We had a church wedding and she MADE money off the deal. After that, she started making plans for renewal of our vows. I told her next time I want a voodoo priestess to preside. Are the five requirements to qualify for a K-1 fiancé visa in effect here? I claim the serious reasons to get married are to clarify child support, who gets access to your finances/property, who gets into the intensive care ward when you're in bad shape, to watch your car insurance go down and your credit rating to go up. Let me know how those last two work out for them.

IMPRECATION.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 5, 2019:

## In my childhood that was "May the fleas of a thousand camels fly up your nose."

a few Jeebus Jokes

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 4, 2019:

## Here's a few more for you.

A petition to Impeach & Remove Don "The Con" Trump! [chng.it]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 4, 2019:

## Hey, they have $20 anti-Trump t-shirts as well. Honestly I think the typical congress person ignores these kind of petitions.

How is everyone doing tonight?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 4, 2019:

## The first year my first wife got her divorce, she married three more guys, rapidly followed by three more divorces. Number four stayed with her for five years before she died in a suspicious house fire. Her last husband tried to get her to sell me an Amway dealership while breathing down her neck. That told me I'd put up with too much from her and although the sex was spectacular and so often we didn't know what was on prime time TV, it wasn't worth it. The current temporary spouse, Petunia, keeps telling me "You're a mean old man but you're **my** mean old man."

Today's cheese 🧀🧀🧀🧀 LOL

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 4, 2019:

## I loved the first meme.

I love dad jokes

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 4, 2019:

## Introduction to divorce.

Parenting at Christmas

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 4, 2019:

## Stole it and sent it to two grandmothers in Florida.

Makes Sense

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 3, 2019:

## It's even more fun with memory chips. Umm....five million songs on this thing? When does my song play -- three decades from now?

GHILLIE (or GILLIE).

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 3, 2019:

## Beginning to think Scots don't speak English.

Made with love by Grandma. It’s only polite to wear it. She worked extra hard on it.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 2, 2019:

## Knee banging fun.

Hi Everyone! I survived my move.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 2, 2019:

## A friend of mine is moving from North Carolina to the edge of Michigan's Candian border. For the last couple of weeks, she's been having anxiety attacks twice a day. To calm down, she calls all her friends -- including me -- sometimes rattling on for a couple of hours. I often wonder how her friend who lives in old Mexico is handling her stress levels.

Holy Shit! I just shoveled out my car for the first time in 8 years! I'm wiped out! One of my new ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 2, 2019:

## Folks in Dixie do our best not to laugh.

Not big Trump fans apparently.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 2, 2019:

## Because Trump tells his supporters to act violently towards non-supporters and they follow through, I have serious questions why I would want to wear those shirts.

So.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 2, 2019:

## We've had enough rain and sunshine to make the pastures bright green.

Just a FYI

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 2, 2019:

## That's magnificent fucker to you, you sniveling snit, you worthless twit eating shit.

You had one job ... (LOL)

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 1, 2019:

## I want to find the school free drug zone.

I gotta be me. :)

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 1, 2019:

## Hell no. Lead them into shock and confusion.

So how many of you guys think this is “fair”?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 1, 2019:

## No matter what the expense, a guy should not expect a gal to jump his bones because he paid her way. The main idea is to have a companion while out on the town rather be lonesome.

EPISTEMOLOGY - Noun.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 1, 2019:

## Used excessively by aspiring pedagogues.

Situation handled.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 1, 2019:

## If it's "needless to say" why say it?

What does it mean when it says a member posted in a group that is no longer active?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 1, 2019:

## It's bugging me as well. My theory is someone started a discussion with a post which the group administrator considered inappropriate for the group. Therefore the discussion was deleted after someone else tried to add to the discussion. I have doubts if my theory is valid.

Ah, we're all just a bunch of fuck ups.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Dec 1, 2019:

## To err is human; to forgive divine; to persist is devilish. -- Ben Franklin. # To err is human; to moo bovine. -- Elise the cow.

Release the elf!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 30, 2019:

## Kill the elf! Kill the elf1

Release the elf!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 30, 2019:

## Is there no end to this?

Release the elf!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 30, 2019:

## Not more!

Release the elf!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 30, 2019:

## He's everywhere! He's everywhere!

Release the elf!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 30, 2019:

## Wait, wait, there's more!

Dammit Chewy!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 30, 2019:

## Good drugs, mon!

When I lived in Edinburgh, Scotland (a suburb called Kingsknowe EH14 2JT) several friends of mine, ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 30, 2019:

Here in gringo land, when they fire a pot it's put in a kin.

bacteriotherapy bac·​te·​ri·​o·​ther·​a·​py \ bak-ˌtir-ē-ō-ˈther-ə-pē \...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 30, 2019:

## It's one of those things I drink to forget about.

Tomorrow is moving day.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 29, 2019:

## Happy trails.

Sorry, but for some reason these pics downloaded side ways and i can't figure out way.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 29, 2019:

## Using a cell phone?

"Every bad situation is a blues song waiting to happen." - Amy Winehouse

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 29, 2019:

## In light of that quote, I find it ironic that most Delta blues songs start off with the words "I got up this morning . . . . ." The die was cast.

Lemonator n.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 29, 2019:

## Good luck in figuring out the connection between the post and the cat.

My philosophy...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 29, 2019:

## So, you're 26 and the last three years were rough?

So--one of my local papers posted a "The Pilgrims' contributions to our freedoms" editorial.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 29, 2019:

## Any excuse to party is a good excuse.

My daughter made this sweet potato pie for dinner.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 28, 2019:

## Every time I take pictures of a plate of Thanksgiving food, it looks like nine types of slop on a plate.

Trying not to look.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 28, 2019:

## W.C. Field while kissing May West's hand and looking at her ample cleavage: "I have come to dally in the valley. Believe me, I can dally."

Have a Happy Turkey/Friendship/Family Day Everyone! My friend Marilyn is having a Friendsgiving.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 28, 2019:

## Instead of Thanksgiving, I had a whatever.

So imagine you've talked to someone a bit and now meeting her/him for the first time.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 28, 2019:

## We would be delighted with each other and making plans for the next meeting.

Happy Thanksgiving.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 28, 2019:

## Happy Thanksgiving? That would ruin my plans.

Think about it...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 28, 2019:

## See what happens with lax immigration enforcement?

Or something like that.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 28, 2019:

## We don't know the origins of everything but we know it didn't come from something with no origin story i.e. God. There is no shame in not knowing. There is a lot of shame in not asking.

Four-star general: "I have wasted 40 years of my life" if Trump’s lies represent "who we are"

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 27, 2019:

## Trump proves we'un's idiots we is.

I usually go with something simple and straight to the point, so the cook won't have to listen to me...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 27, 2019:

## Good friends, good food, good God, let's eat.

I get two points.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 27, 2019:

## Got a feeling I'm the grand winner. 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 14, 15 16, 18 and the ever popular 20.

A holiday beverage guide -

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 27, 2019:

## One of my sluttist girlfriends (RIP?) bought all her vodka in the half gallon vodka bottles twice a week.

Saudade a feeling of longing, melancholy or nostalgia. The presense of absense.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 27, 2019:

One source says it can not be translated into English. It's common in Brazil as well as well in Portugal. One author said "“Saudade is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present. – Aubrey Bell" Source:https://amaliahomecollection.com/the-meaning-of-saudade-the-most-portuguese-word/

I am not there yet, but i can totally see myself saying it in a couple more decades.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 27, 2019:

## Stolen and e-mailed to my easily confused friends.

“It is self-evident that cows do not have the.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Nov 27, 2019:

From the source: "Nunes has demanded that Janz force the accounts to delete messages and issue an apology to him. Janz, through attorneys, declined to take any of the demanded actions and said he had no power over the cow account" Read more here: https://www.sacbee.com/news/politics-government/capitol-alert/article237802609.html#storylink=cpy