TAUTOLOGY.

Charlene comments on Mar 6, 2020:

The swine Drump is an orange pig..

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@itsmedammit Don't you need more than one color to be colorful?

TAUTOLOGY.

LenHazell53 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Tautologies can become so complex that they hide in plain site usually mascaraing as ontology such as the well known proof of god given by St. Anselm Existence is a necessary attribute of Perfection God is by definition perfect Therefore God exists It does not look like a tautology but it is...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@LenHazell53 I write all my theological claims under the inspiration of three cocktails, therefore all booze leads to theological claims. Naw. That's circular reasoning. Tautology is the repetitive word choices. After three shots to the wind, I may wind up here tossing bull twinkies about.

I actually think this is the perfect response to those jerks who blame natural disasters on gay ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## When we getting the frogs? Nobody remembers the frogs.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@OldMetalHead Egypt is in Africa where the biblical plagues took place. In most countries in Africa locusts are dinner tonight. State side, we're not big on eating bugs.

TAUTOLOGY.

Charlene comments on Mar 6, 2020:

The swine Drump is an orange pig..

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

To quote chief Rachael Ray "Winner, winner, chicken dinner."

TAUTOLOGY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## One example: “This is like deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra). Another example: “Your acting is completely devoid of emotion.” Devoid is defined as “completely empty.” Thus, completely devoid is an example of tautology.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@LenHazell53 Heap of scrolling isn't it?

TAUTOLOGY.

LenHazell53 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Tautologies can become so complex that they hide in plain site usually mascaraing as ontology such as the well known proof of god given by St. Anselm Existence is a necessary attribute of Perfection God is by definition perfect Therefore God exists It does not look like a tautology but it is...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

That is called circular reasoning. Not a tautology.

TAUTOLOGY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## One example: “This is like deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra). Another example: “Your acting is completely devoid of emotion.” Devoid is defined as “completely empty.” Thus, completely devoid is an example of tautology.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@LenHazell53 Okay, let's hear YOUR examples.

When I lived in Hickory Tavern, SC, we didn't have garbage pick up.

Surfpirate comments on Mar 6, 2020:

I'm not sure if Petunia is (a) a horse that likes rides to the dump (b) a woman who likes riding around looking at horses (c) a horsefaced woman who you took to the dump (d) all of the above

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

"Because women can go all goo looking at horses, I would always invited Petunia along for our "romantic trip to the dump." >[ is Petunia] a horse that likes rides to the dump Reading is fundamental. She didn't want to go to the dump.

TAUTOLOGY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 6, 2020:

## One example: “This is like deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra). Another example: “Your acting is completely devoid of emotion.” Devoid is defined as “completely empty.” Thus, completely devoid is an example of tautology.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@Marionville One sentence could be re-written as " . . . completely, completely lacking . . . " and still make the same amount of sense. Likewise Yogi's sentence could be written as "This all over again" or "This is deja vu." These sentences were approved by the Redundant Department of Redundancy. Yogi is an American sage. He's also famous for telling one guy how to get to his house as ". . . when you come to a fork in the road, take it." His statement is less confusing once you know the fork was to a loop road. No matter which direction chosen, you'd still get to his house. Both of my tauntology examples are from Yogi and have become known as "Yogisms." Other Yogisms include: No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded. Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical. A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. We made too many wrong mistakes. Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken. You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six. You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you. To scratch your head some more see: https://ftw.usatoday.com/2019/03/the-50-greatest-yogi-berra-quotes

I see dumb people...

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Have you seen who is president?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@Rudy1962 Side effects include halitosis that could stun a moose.

Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I love sugar snaps & eat them with my breakfast almost daily. I also toss them into stir frys. My husband wants to try growing them this year.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

@Lilac-Jade Wild garlic chives grow in profusion here. Mowing the yard smells like soup.

Life comparison.

BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 5, 2020:

My favorite sign over a urinal was in Italy. Translating it to English: "What you have in your hand is not a hydrant, and on the floor there is no fire." 🤣😂🤣😂

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

Don't piss on the floor. Be a hero, piss on the ceiling.

punc·til·i·ous /ˌpəNG(k)ˈtilēəs/ adjective: showing great attention to detail or correct...

altschmerz comments on Mar 5, 2020:

How do you pronounce 💋

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 6, 2020:

I included the punctuation guide in the original definition. For reason beyond the pale, the system put a kiss symbol in the middle of it. Slurp loudly while saying it.

But...that looks like...

SiouxcitySue comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Looks like What??????

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

@AnneWimsey Teflon coated with optional vibrate mode?

SYBARITIC.

Charlene comments on Mar 5, 2020:

I'd love a sybarian machine..😈

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

Have you seen their gas powered four stroke model built for four?

I see dumb people...

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Have you seen who is president?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

@Rudy1962 It's brewed in the finest unwashed toilets of Mexico and sold with a wedge of lime.

I see dumb people...

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Have you seen who is president?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

Have you drunk one of their beers? 🤢🤮

Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I love sugar snaps & eat them with my breakfast almost daily. I also toss them into stir frys. My husband wants to try growing them this year.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

@Lilac-Jade I often grow culinary herbs, learning in the process all the types of basil they have. Going to the farmer's markets, I often learn about relatively exotic vegetables that CAN grow here but the supermarkets NEVER carry.

But...that looks like...

SiouxcitySue comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Looks like What??????

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

@AnneWimsey Powered by a USB plug? I might be better off not knowing.

Do you personally adhere to the whole "three dates" thing before attempting to get physical with ...

BitFlipper comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I'm interested in this *"3 dates"* thing. A third date with the same woman is extremely rare. And if they're expecting me to get physical . . . no wonder they lose interest. So if there's some standard, why do women never initiate?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

Don't say "never." It's hard to forget a gal who insisted on our first date we should skip dinner and head straight to the bedroom. After that surprise dalliance, it was a SUCH a relaxed dinner. On the far extreme, I dated a woman who claimed she was asexual for three years. She was my wing woman. After directing women my way for three years, she figured it was her turn. I still have shaky theories why when women see me with another woman, it makes them want me more. If Petunia ever leaves me, I want another asexual woman for nights out on the town. Once Jean had changed her mind about her asexuality, it was "tie me down and spank me." After that, she got so horny that she decided to get two more lovers. One of them was married. The married guy dropped her off at my place with suitcases once his wife came home. I was shocked. Somebody bought her a couple of suitcases? When we'd go out on a date, she always stuffed her clothes in grocery bags. Women are too varied to make generalizations.

Three Religious Skid Marks.

Novelty comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I am butt dust... 😂

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 5, 2020:

Would that lead to butt mud during a rain storm?

Foster Feels the Bern

Rudy1962 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

whose’s a wise doggy?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

How did he learn to make memes and type?

Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas.

whiskywoman comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I love seed catalogues

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

Seed catalog companies sell their mailing list to other seed companies. If you get one seed catalog, another will be following it especial if you buy seeds from any of them.

Late winter is when I get frost tolerant stuff in the ground like peas.

Lilac-JadeCanada comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I love sugar snaps & eat them with my breakfast almost daily. I also toss them into stir frys. My husband wants to try growing them this year.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

Get ye to Old Farmer's Almanac. While it contains a pound and a quarter of baloney (especially for weather forecasts), it does tell when and which plant to plant for your agriculture zone. Ignore the DAY you're suppose to plant, just look at the month to plant. With sugar snaps, it's the around the day of the last killing frost. I've seen sugar snaps come back AFTER a killing frost. I'm lucky to live near a major land grant agriculture university (Clemson University). I can get SUCH expert advice. Do they have master gardener programs where you live?

Some people! LMAO!!!!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 4, 2020:

## Hey! I remember her.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 Jean had a third of brain knocked out. She got out at night on a bicycle in the highway passing lane and got hit by a pick up truck doing 80 mph. I went to visit her in the nursing home for two years until it got too depressing to go. When she'd see me, she'd pull up her gown to show off her crotch, even with her mother around. Due to brain loss, she was unable to talk or eat. Sad case. Oh, I say she remembers me. Since then, I moved out of town and the nursing home closed down. I don't know where she is or if she's still alive.

Once again: if you are against gay marriage for any reason, you're a fucking moron.

JacarC comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Exactly! Especially given the number of children needing care and adoption.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

@JayOleck38 When I'd hear that crap-a-zola, I'd ask "If I wanted to turn you into a faggot boy (nobody cared if little girls turned into lesbians), what would I have to do to make your pecker get hard for other guys?" Blank stares followed.

Another deep thought

BudFrank comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Do we really want to know?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

Is Penthouse *Variations* still being published? They had memorable "letters" to the editor, stuff like dipping testicles in the gold fish bowl and worse. That's another way to kill your fish.

On the 14th of this month of March 2020 i will turn 76 years old.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Golly Wally, you defined the word smug.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 4, 2020:

@VAL3941 Those of us with the FSM call it piracy. Gotta practice the faith.

I would like to be the first to wish everyone a happy "I Want You to be Happy Day" this is a ...

St-Sinner comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Thank you. But just feel happy? What about a six pack, dinner takeout and possibly a hoe?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

You've reminded me: I've got to paint my hoe. I left it outside all winter. I'm talking about a gardening tool, just in case your mind hasn't crawled out of the gutter yet.

On the 14th of this month of March 2020 i will turn 76 years old.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Golly Wally, you defined the word smug.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

@OwlInASack She would appreciate you giving her a copy of David Sedaris' book *Me Talk Pretty One Day.* Having read the bound edition, I conclude it might be funnier in audio version. I like the part when he over heard his speech therapist say "We got **another one** who talks like that?"

On the 14th of this month of March 2020 i will turn 76 years old.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Golly Wally, you defined the word smug.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

@VAL3941 In your case a swarthy smug mug. Sibilants abound in the land the freaking fricative consonants. Somewhere there's a guy hooked on phonics says "Hey! I know what he's talking about!"

QUIXOTIC - Adjective.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Big fan of Aldonza Lorenzo.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

Time to get out my Sparks Notes and fend off Irish chiggers. @Marionville She is a common vulgar woman who raises pigs (part 1, chapter nine). However she is envisioned by Don Quixote as his fair lady because what knight doesn't have a lady? He promptly renames her. Additionally he tells tales of her beauty and her membership into Spanish royalty. Her renamed fantasy version does not appear in the novel.

QUIXOTIC - Adjective.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 3, 2020:

## Big fan of Aldonza Lorenzo.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

@Marionville She is a character in the novel Don Quixote. The novel is so popular in my home town they named a major street after the author, Cervantes.

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Beautiful!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 I prefer to dunk my green beer bottles in an icy cold mountain stream. One must be careful lest a strong current sweep the jugs down stream, smashing them against rocks.

I need someone to vouch for me please ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Doesn't matter. Currently I've got an Aussie who insists I'm a happy gay who digs up the dead for sexual satisfaction. It's a childish pastime of making insults without any proof the insults are true. Likewise you're dealing with a person with a emotional IQ of 12.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 3, 2020:

@VAL3941 I'm just a gringo from Dixie. I'm a big fan of Zorba the Greek. See meme. "Boss, life is trouble and death is not." -- Zorba.

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Beautiful!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 Clamping is for those who plan to live in a park, pulling up roots anytime the limit they can stay in the camp grounds starts to run out. Then they come right back the same day.

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Beautiful!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 After five miles into a hike, I'd assume well shaken and warm beer.

Not Really A Meme.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Me mock? That would be shameless. Not that I've got any shame.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@scurry Three years into our marriage, Petunia stopped talking about renewing our vows. I agreed I'd do that but only if we got a voodoo priest to perform the services. I want dancing women and booze next time. At our wedding they wouldn't allow us to toast each other with champagne and were shocked we used carbonated grape juice instead. Possibly nobody would show up if I had to explain a FSM priest to them.

Not true anymore, but I can definitely relate!

BudFrank comments on Mar 2, 2020:

I know the feeling

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@EyesThatSmile I bought a sign for Petunia that said "You had me at chocolate." It helps explain what she's doing with me.

Umm.....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## There have been times I wish I had one those masks cat sized. Percy, my tomcat, isn't always in a good mood.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 >I'm worse than them! If you bury your bowel movements in the garden, shed fur all over the place and beg to sleep with a married couple right outside their bedroom door -- I'll want to know more.😈😈

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Beautiful!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 It's more practical to backpack with liquor than beer. A 5th is lighter than a case of beer.

Umm.....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## There have been times I wish I had one those masks cat sized. Percy, my tomcat, isn't always in a good mood.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 Some cats can only tolerate ten seconds of petting before they'll bite you. With Percy, it depends on his mood.

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

SukiSue comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Beautiful!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 I hope he takes the plane when he visits. I used to joke when I drive long distances to campgrounds I leave a trail of beer can behind me. Got to find my way back. Doesn't work. A person needs to find a place to pee too often to be practical. 😺😸😹

No where near Dixie but in the Southwest, Las Cruces,NM.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 2, 2020:

## Anywhere near a campground with shade?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@MichelleGar1 Thanks for the response. There are plenty of parks will let you pitch your tent off the trail as long as you obey some basic rules such as: 1) At least 50 feet away from a stream. 2) Bury human waste. 3) No open campfires. 4) Register with the rangers when and where you're entering the trail(s). I've yet to find a park where they charge a registration fee. Their major deal is if you don't come out, the rangers know where to start looking. Are you familiar with the word "boondocking" as it relates to camping?

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@FrayedBear I typed "LMAO meme" into my search engine and got about 100 examples on the first try. Evil fart that I am, I know how that "add photo" icon works.

PANJANDRUM.

FrayedBear comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Wasn't panjandrum used recently? For those who haven't read Foote's verse it is available - https://www.gutenberg.org/files/18417/18417-h/18417-h.htm

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

Your example is a children's picture book from a previous century.

Information i hope you never use

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 1, 2020:

## Take this raccoon and shove it!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@SiouxcitySue It's up to you to shove the second raccoon. I'll watch you do it and learn from my previous mistakes. Sometimes it a takes a twisted wild life expert and I didn't get that merit badge.

Easy guide to know if she's in the mood...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## I wonder about the sign for an urge for lurid licking on the tasty bits.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@SiouxcitySue Mercy sakes, gal! You hang out at all the right playgrounds. 🤣

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@FrayedBear Fess up. You're just here to gather insulting memes from my files.

I think the each member on the site should be awarded at least 1.

freedom41 comments on Mar 1, 2020:

I've been on here for a little 2 years and an extra 2,000 points would be cool. It would we inch me closer to level 8.3 .

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

I've often wondered what am I doing at level 8.5? For the amount of time getting there, I could have brought in a crop and used 18 cans of car wax on the car.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 28, 2020:

I'm wondering why Detroit encouraged tree-planting and would not commit to maintain the trees beyond three years. Trees need regular maintenance.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 2, 2020:

@AnonySchmoose Send those people to Navy boot camp. Once they're in the Navy sing a little ditty I learned in boot camp. Sailor, sailor don't be blue. My recruiter screwed me too.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:

@FrayedBear Are you one of those Aussies still emotionally in the fourth grade?

NULLIFIDIAN.

Theresa_N comments on Feb 29, 2020:

Never knew I was a nullifidian. Very interesting.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:

@Marionville Archie Bunker was a key character in an old, popular situation comedy *All in the Family.* It was copied from an English situation comedy. Here a collection of some his more popular quips. Skip a head a bit to avoid the commercial plugs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Upe_VXCzJI Hope you can understand his thick accent.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:

@FrayedBear >I have no plan to go to Portugal. Contrasted with: >Re cruise to Portugal I'm going to make another necrophylliac homosexual happy Imagine my confusion.

NULLIFIDIAN.

Theresa_N comments on Feb 29, 2020:

Never knew I was a nullifidian. Very interesting.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:

@Marionville Without a pronunciation guide, I wouldn't know. It's hard to forget Archy Bunker calling appetizers as "Whore e a doors." I used to pronounce "Merlot" the way it's spelled, not the way it's correctly pronounced. Pissed off Petunia, who doesn't like red wine.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 28, 2020:

I'm wondering why Detroit encouraged tree-planting and would not commit to maintain the trees beyond three years. Trees need regular maintenance.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Mar 1, 2020:

@AnonySchmoose In funky town, swimming is considered a white elitist sport and therefor most blacks don't swim. In navy boot camp it's required for graduation to swim. After all, the ship might sink. Swim course in boot camp is almost exclusively black. That was my joke about building swimming pools in black neighborhoods. They don't want it and therefore don't need it. Might as well build a polo field for residents living in a mobile home park.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@FrayedBear "Wooden overcoat" is not a known phrase in the states. You plan to visit Portugal to make a "necrophylliac homosexual happy"? You're whipping out those non-sequitur all over the place. She has been blissfully ignorant of mountains in Australia because I don't tell her about our conversations. What I said is she loves travel as long as she picks where we're going. I mentioned Cuba as place I want to visit but she doesn't. You appear to be hung up on ''"necrophylliac homosexuals." " . . . . & LMAO." Uh, Licking Murphy's Ass Off?" On second thought, don't tell me.

Good Evening Everyone! Feeling close to normal after food shopping and playing Trivia.

Petter comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Nighty night, or in my case, good morning!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@Petter According to my father-in-law the best part of the evening is having someone tuck you in.

Good Evening Everyone! Feeling close to normal after food shopping and playing Trivia.

Petter comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Nighty night, or in my case, good morning!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@Petter In that case it's 1:40 a.m. on a Sunday there while it's 7:40 p.m. Saturday here.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@FrayedBear I have no clue how Cuba and Kegel exercises are related nor what you mean by a "wooden overcoat." This morning Petunia was looking a one way transatlantic cruise to Portugal, muttering "Only $1,500." She wouldn't consider coming back to the states by way of tramp steamer. Considering how Trump is shooting ill considered comments at our allies, we might not be able to get a visa.

Easy guide to know if she's in the mood...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## I wonder about the sign for an urge for lurid licking on the tasty bits.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@SiouxcitySue The old dirty joke (Quick! Hide the children!) is a guy walks up to a bar tender and asks "I can't understand why that guy over there **always** gets a woman to take him to her place, sometimes within five minutes. All he does is sit at the bar, licking his forehead." Large turn off, you say? 😻🙀🤟🏽👅

Everything Posie Parker is great.

Novelty comments on Feb 28, 2020:

You know how there’s soft porn? This is soft hate. You know how soft porn is still porn? That’s how this is hate.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

Soft core porn is underwear ads. Hard core porn requires close ups of tasty bits in action.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 28, 2020:

I'm wondering why Detroit encouraged tree-planting and would not commit to maintain the trees beyond three years. Trees need regular maintenance.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@AnonySchmoose Those crazy white people will build municipal swimming pools in their neighborhood.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

ToolGuy comments on Feb 28, 2020:

There are a lot of valid reasons for resisting it.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@Beowulfsfriend I read the article. Not too sure you had

NULLIFIDIAN.

Theresa_N comments on Feb 29, 2020:

Never knew I was a nullifidian. Very interesting.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 29, 2020:

@Marionville Assuming any of us can pronounce it correctly.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@FrayedBear You would have recovered faster with a nagging wife with a yen to travel. Petunia keeps saying "Cuba? You don't want to go to Cuba."

Sound plan to me.

rogerbenham comments on Feb 27, 2020:

Wonderfully clear but of course the bulk of the electorate must never be told.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@rogerbenham Rule of thumb is it doesn't matter which kind of government is in charge, as long as the people aren't starving and they're not tossing everyone's relative in jail the leader will be safe. The hole in my theory is a government with advanced computerized surveillance, i.e. North Korea. I remain baffled there are still people in Russia who want Stalin to rise from the grave and take over. 🤔

Trump Turns to Pence to Calm Fears Over Coronavirus President Trump addressed the nation from ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

> immediately called for a complete ban of all Mexican beer imports, ## It is a remarkably stupid response. Are you sure about that?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@johnnyrobish I assumed as much but knowing this administration . . . . Next time in my favorite Mexican restaurant, I'll order a Dos Equis dark with confidence.

Easy guide to know if she's in the mood...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## I wonder about the sign for an urge for lurid licking on the tasty bits.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@Merseyman1 That's the same as "now or never."

Good Evening Everyone! Feeling close to normal after food shopping and playing Trivia.

Petter comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Nighty night, or in my case, good morning!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@Petter I have a world clock application on my cell phone and on my computer, thanks. If I know which major city shares your time zone I can easily look it up. I avoid arithmetic before calling Manila.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

TheGreatShadow comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Doesn't have much to do with this post, but you ever been to East St Louis? Driven through there many times. Once I went there for a concert. That place is something like 90-95% black! Talk about feeling out of place! If I have to drive through there, I stop for nothing! No this post is not bashing ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@TheGreatShadow >PS fuck Nazis! I'm absurdly giddy in subcontracting my share to you.

MOLLIFY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## I frequently feel attempts to mollify Petunia when she comes home from work are futile. After dealing with fustrating and senile clients she needs **someone** to scream at that won't bitch slap her. An inhumane response to her tizzy fits is powerful. She's a stress carrier.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@Marionville She knows not to pester me after a few drinks.

So.

SukiSue comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Which begs the question.... How did the men live without a spatula?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

When I go camping I put meat and vegetables on wooden skewers. Afterwards, I throw the skewers into the fire. Wooden skewers cost all of two to three cents each. Hell, let's set fire to a dime's worth of skewers! We're not washing dirty skewers and taking them home. If you're ultra cheap, you can pull down the nearest green branch and crave it into a long wooden skewer.

MOLLIFY.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## I frequently feel attempts to mollify Petunia when she comes home from work are futile. After dealing with fustrating and senile clients she needs **someone** to scream at that won't bitch slap her. An inhumane response to her tizzy fits is powerful. She's a stress carrier.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@Marionville Another reason to keep the liquor cabinet refilled.

“Look, just because a woman’s got no teeth doesn’t mean she’s wise.

AnneWimsey comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Or it might mean she gives the BJ's of your dreams, but you are too stupid to deserve them.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

I fail to see why blow jobs should only affect the deserving. 😉 It's hard to forget George Burns for saying he didn't deserve getting an award but he had arthritis and he didn't deserve that either.

Sound plan to me.

rogerbenham comments on Feb 27, 2020:

Wonderfully clear but of course the bulk of the electorate must never be told.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@rogerbenham Thanks. You've just explained why I'm a monarchist. Is good to be the king.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

ToolGuy comments on Feb 28, 2020:

There are a lot of valid reasons for resisting it.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@Beowulfsfriend One reason down, five to go.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

AnonySchmoose comments on Feb 28, 2020:

I'm wondering why Detroit encouraged tree-planting and would not commit to maintain the trees beyond three years. Trees need regular maintenance.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

Regular maintenance largely translates into raking the leaves in the fall and picking up dead branches. The residents were more frightened over not having a say in a course of action chosen by a largely white group. White guys are dangerous. If they decide on something -- watch out! The primary theory is trees would provide shade, lowering the overall temperature and produce large amount of oxygen in a highly polluted area. It might even slow global warming.

This will also be detrimental for celebrities, pornstars, Instagram models, and the whole plastic ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 28, 2020:

## Meh. One of the mostly overlooked aspect of breast enlargement is the upkeep. They have to replace the implants in Betty Big Boobs every few years. Nobody ever talks about wear and tear on those things. On the long haul, I don't see any serious problems.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@joeymf86 Lego people were meant to be stepped on.😉

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@FrayedBear Two years ago I went tent camping while leaning on a five foot long highly varnished wooden hiking staff. Because it had carving on it, I got complements on it. Cost me all of six dollars. Previous staffs were branches that fell out of the trees. Most carved hiking staffs run between $30 to $40. Aluminum? That's fancy Dan stuff! 😉 Side story: because of staggering long list of health problems if I fall, I need help getting up. Throwing an air mattress on the ground is out of the question. Petunia bought me a cot. Back then she insisted on getting out of town for a three day weekend. Long hikes have become out of the question for me. Hey, I got this five foot long wooden hiking staff and tales to tell.

Put to good use?

AtheistInNC comments on Feb 25, 2020:

What?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@FrayedBear You have a humble opinion? I never knew.

Detroit tried to plant trees in the hood.

ToolGuy comments on Feb 28, 2020:

There are a lot of valid reasons for resisting it.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

Name six. Expostulate.

Hi, I am looking for advice.

JacarC comments on Feb 19, 2020:

What happened to my post?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

It was eaten by frogs. Large meat eating frogs. Never trust Kermit.

My son had fallen off hid bike and hit his knee, elbow and ribs just minor scrapes nothing a band ...

bobwjr comments on Feb 27, 2020:

Actually it's in degrees of pain but he sounds ok

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@Petter > I still prefer to have degrees such as PnD (a doctorate in pain,) You have reminded of a very old song: "Doctor, doctor give me the news: I gots a bad case of loving you." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zq-R-UEs-s

My son had fallen off hid bike and hit his knee, elbow and ribs just minor scrapes nothing a band ...

bobwjr comments on Feb 27, 2020:

Actually it's in degrees of pain but he sounds ok

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@bobwjr >grades 1-10 is the standard scale [for pain]. There goes my logarithmic theory. 😉

Good Evening Everyone! Feeling close to normal after food shopping and playing Trivia.

Petter comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Nighty night, or in my case, good morning!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

I regret Agnostic does not time date the responses. BTW, I'm responding after breakfast at 8:05 EST on a clear, frosty morning. The high is supposed to reach 12c or 52f.

Sound plan to me.

rogerbenham comments on Feb 27, 2020:

Wonderfully clear but of course the bulk of the electorate must never be told.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@gigihein True. Most of his day is watching television for flattering remarks on his administration while his followers are only interested in sound bites while channel surfing. The only reason his followers will "read" a newspaper is for the grocery ads, with big colorful pictures. That's what those who prepare Trump's security briefs strive for: lots of pictures, charts, graphs, etc, without many words because he has trouble reading. One tale is his daughter has to read his security briefs so he'll know what all those graphics mean. This has led to my shaky theory most of his supporters, like Trump, are functionally illiterate with short attention spans that are irritated to the point of physical violence with those who disagree with them. Thinking hurts. Trump supporters strive to be pain free. Remember, we let those idiots vote. If that doesn't leave you gritting your teeth in terror . . . .

Somebody needs a new graphic designer.

bookofmorons comments on Feb 27, 2020:

Love it - where can I get one?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

Bend over and hurl a cow patty across the room with a single loose wet shot from the butt. A super hero we don't need.

Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday! I'm finally getting out of the house today.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 27, 2020:

## Ask for a local pain killer. If they ignore your request, scream loudly with each and every time they remove one until their ears bleed.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@BufftonBeotch I was remarkably proud when I saw an entry in my medical record that said "the man can stand no pain." "I often question the reason for pain." -- The Beast, X-men.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 28, 2020:

@FrayedBear >Walt are you like a rubber necking Yank who does a ten day bus trip of Europe & then claims to have seen it all? I'm the guy walks himself until he's bandaging his blisters and complaining he hasn't seen it all. Send me back to Paris! I didn't see their modern art museum, the Pompidou Center. Petunia complains she didn't see a few hundred acres of tulips just outside of Amsterdam. She complained she hadn't visited the street of Three Sisters in Amsterdam. It's a trendy shopping district. We should have rented an apartment in both cities for a few months to have seen it all. Later a French teacher told me a person could live in Paris for ten years and not see it all. She has been visiting that city for over 40 years and hasn't seen it all. My out of town visits have all the planning of a military attack. Before I get there (unlike your recommended travel blog) I want to know when they're open and when they are closed, best time to visit, etc. Do I get to see it all? Hell, no. There's too much of it. >When they died there were still places that they had not intimately explored. I can believe it. One reason I moved to the Appalachians was for their mountain trails and visits to their waterfalls. Most of the trails are poorly marked and I can tell you the joys of getting lost. Ergo, I haven't visited half the waterfalls within a 50 mile radius of where I live. Those mountains block GPS signals. I'll be wandering in those mountains and realize I don't know where I am because of overgrown trails. I'll never see all the waterfalls here. Hey, remind me to tell you **why** I took a naval course on marine navigation some time. A person can travel with **no landmarks** and still get back home. The local news is full of stories of people lost in the woods, some of which are never seen again. >The last photo is taken from a lookout that is only just over a thousand feet high. The qualification for "mountain" is when the elevation is slightly over a thousand feet. Otherwise it's pawned off as "mount" something. The locals here call it a knob. When I was in Florida, I kept running across places with NO vast scenic views although they called places "mounts" as if they were mountains. Florida is extremely flat, no mountains at all so they have to lie about it. They do have hills. Thanks for the pictures. You won't admit to spending a night in a tent.

Put to good use?

AtheistInNC comments on Feb 25, 2020:

What?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 27, 2020:

@FrayedBear Why?

Sound plan to me.

rogerbenham comments on Feb 27, 2020:

Wonderfully clear but of course the bulk of the electorate must never be told.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 27, 2020:

@gigihein No. The Trump base doesn't watch ANY news.

Has anyone used powdered alcohol?

glennlab comments on Feb 26, 2020:

Kind of silly, take the water out of something just to add water back to it. but haven't see it around here.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 27, 2020:

@azzow2 Fields complained the censors wouldn't allow him to have a beer in his films, even when it was shot inside a bar.

Hilarious.....

ballou comments on Feb 27, 2020:

Tell me what you do with it, please!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 27, 2020:

It would make me blush too much.

Has anyone used powdered alcohol?

glennlab comments on Feb 26, 2020:

Kind of silly, take the water out of something just to add water back to it. but haven't see it around here.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 27, 2020:

@azzow2 He said that in a book. The censors would not allow the word "fuck" in a movie. One scene that got cut in a movie was him using a scythe to cut down cat tails. A cat ran out of the thicket. The censor were **that** hard ass. Don't get me started or I'll tell you about his arch enemy, Baby LeRoy.

Never would have guessed....

FrayedBear comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Very prescient - coffee wasn't common until the 15th century https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_coffee

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 27, 2020:

@FrayedBear Ever **been** to that mountain? Reached the fearsome summit? Went camping anywhere near it? Took pictures? From the sound of it there are no mountain **ranges** down under, ergo no long mountain drives. For serious elevation is in the western US, i.e. the Rockies which **start** at 10,000 feet and go up to 14,000 feet. Mountains in the eastern US are rather old, rounded and wimpy. Pictured: having reached the summit, I had my picture taken. Then I turned around and took a picture of the view from the observation tower.

The war on drugs....

MsDemeanour comments on Feb 26, 2020:

Anyone who can turn water into wine is welcome at my party!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 27, 2020:

You like Mad Dog 20/20?

Put to good use?

AtheistInNC comments on Feb 25, 2020:

What?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 27, 2020:

When?

Put to good use?

AtheistInNC comments on Feb 25, 2020:

What?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 27, 2020:

@FrayedBear Who never gets to third base with his dates.

Put to good use?

glennlab comments on Feb 25, 2020:

You lost me. Huh?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 27, 2020:

@FrayedBear Some of those Aussie camping sites are more expensive (up to $170) than the entering the Uganda parks. I had spoken of one of my favorite campgrounds that only cost me $8 a night. The Great Ocean Hike in southern Australia sounds the most appealing to me. However, I was asking YOU to tell us of YOUR experiences camping rather than a list of Aussie web sites, which are skimpy on illustrations. Therefore, I assume you've never been a happy camper and could not pitch a cabin tent on a dare. Pup tents can be erected by the hopeless intoxicated, slightly retarded and seriously buzzed except on sandy beach. For that one needs to improvise a type of anchor for the tent stakes or the wind will blow over the tent. The most popular tent is the dome tent which can be erected by throwing it at the ground and rolled over so the bottom touches the ground. Folding it back into the bag it came in is the challenge. Your web site about house sitting says it's for **Aussie** house sitters, which ought to eliminate people visiting from the states. If I was looking for ultra cheap lodging, I'd look at couch surfer web sites. When I arrived down under on a boiler tender, the USS Dixie, Aussies called up the ship looking to invite sailors into their homes. My guess is they wanted a house guest who "talks funny." Overall, that's a non-sequitur to the topic of camping. I figure for you camping would be an alien experience. You may not traveled enough to include photos of your travels down under. Pictured below: the best campsite we ever found in the Smoky Mountain National Forest. It included a tent pad, a picnic table, a lantern hook and a fire ring with a grate. I didn't notice most of those things in the websites on Aussie campgrounds. Most importantly, it was when the normally crowded Deep Creek campground, located near Bryson City, North Carolina, was almost camper free.