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WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

...giggle, giggle.

Trump isn’t smart enough to understand how the Supreme Court is about to disempower the presidency...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

His assumption is that since he got **some of those** judges on the Supreme Court, they'll be loyal in his hour of need. Like or shove it, they read political cover to judge how to rule on cases.

Don't even have a good poker face.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

Isn't that for bridge?

JOINDER.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

I've heard it's variant used to describe the joining of two pieces of timber without nails.

PYRRHIC.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

I've also heard it used to mean a costly victory while in retreat.

Everyone’s drunk on something. What are your addictions?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

I have a bad addiction to breathing. Serious life threatening reactions if I stop for a few minutes. I have to do it even while I sleep.

Ya snooze Ya lose i guess

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

That reminds me of Barbara the Hun, who dumped via e-mail after I refused accept the demands she was putting on me. I found another woman. Six months later, she called me up and wanted me to take her back. Didn't work.

Just a little trip around the block on a Sunday morning.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

Yo! Get off the sidewalk.

Good morning Girls and Boys.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

## Next month: tap dancing.

here it comes

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

# That's how it works imperialistic nations.

We all need one of these...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

## Explain why I want to talk any kind of moron.

What makes you a catch?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

I'm so amazingly amazing it's disgusting to give the details.

"Oh, I lost my top...How am I to go out!"...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

The * Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" advises always carry a towel for times like these.

Obviously. Hahaha ?????

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 24, 2019:

. . . and over here, we have a mole hill.

For my northern friends who are sick of winter.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

It's never gotten that cold while I've been living in South Carolina.

So true! ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

How do you write laws with a penis????

Public service announcement

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

First wife could shred condoms without using her hands.

This would be me.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

Rock, yes; roll, no.

You said it can be anything! Lol

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

I've read Emily Post **and** Miss Manners. Nary a word about glory holes. Guess they were too polite to mention it.

Recording Reveals Oil Industry Execs Laughing at Trump Access The tape of a private meeting was ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

One of their own (Independent Petroleum Association of America) was named Secretary of the Interior, followed by rollbacks on environmental restrictions on things like fracking and drilling in federal parks, etc.

I dropped my oars...I'll be stranded on this little island!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

It is the custom of my people, the crazy farts, if you take a hot babe out in a boat far away from shore and she **doesn't** give you a blow job, she walks home. Saintly person that I am, I ignore that custom. If I honored it, I'd lie about it.

Probably a lot of you

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

My older brother tried that. Once he started to catch up with me, I ran through a doorway and slammed the door behind me. Naturally, he ran into a door running as fast as he could. He thought he was going to get sympathy from my parents by being truthful about his injuries. # He was right. # When I want to get depressed, I remind myself I share a gene line with my relatives.

I defined religion many times...but this is the best!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

Religion is popular mythology.

See now I don't take handouts

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

# I'm not honest enough to mention my felonies.

SHOOGLE.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

I need to use that word. "You shoogle my world, darling."

Trump Has Slapped His Brand On Images Of The White House To Sell At His Trump Store President ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 23, 2019:

From source cited: "The products give the bizarre impression that the White House is a Trump hotel." I need to buy some of those "products." He isn't selling stuff inside the White House. He's selling things like bars of soap, T-shirts, etc., with an **image** of the White House with the White House image and the words "Trump hotel" on them. These like "Billy Beer" and "Gold water" will become extremely valuable collector's items in 2035.

Happy Friday all.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 22, 2019:

I want to talk Petunia into a picnic at a large sprawling formal garden, Clemson University [SC] Botanical Gardens. It's high pollen season and the temperatures should be in the 70's.

Don't fear the Dewey Decimal System.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 22, 2019:

Eeekkkkk!

Baby reveal parties are the weirdest thing ever.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 22, 2019:

The meme reminds me of an old joke. A gal asks her daughter if she wants a baby brother or a baby sister. "If you don't mind," replies the tot,"I want a pony."

?????

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 22, 2019:

Church folks get upset when they're told they aren't that special.

ROTOGRAVURE.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 22, 2019:

I used to have a friend who told a publisher he would have no problem running his rotogravure press. He didn't know what he was doing and the press nearly ate his arm.

Taking life advice from billionaires is usually not a wise decision.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 22, 2019:

# High adventure awaits!

I live in WTF? Shitty.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 22, 2019:

Montreal awaits!

What a loudmouth!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 22, 2019:

I used to have a bumper sticker that said "I brake when the voices in my head tell me to brake." I got illiterates ridding my bumper.

Somebody needs some eduction.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 22, 2019:

# Abandon all hope.

Dating and Marriage preferences.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

There are physical characteristics common to certain **groups.** However, the nightmare is assigning those "racial" traits to **individuals** is when it all breaks down.

....or perhaps it's more Darwinian.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

As God wills it. Lord only knows what He is thinking.

Anyone ever been involved in multi-level marketing (MLM)?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

They are sooo bad, that the last time an Amway representative called me, it was twenty minutes into their pitch they used the word "Amway." It was a husband/wife team. The wife called me first and the husband did the followed up call. At one point, we had this exchange: "I'm looking for hard working, intelligent people --" "--Nope. I'm dense as a post and dedicated my life to using dope. I lay around all day, drool dripping out of my mouth." It didn't slow down his sales pitch.

...........

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

EEKKK. There's a knee grow on my pancake mix.

The only French pastry I have ever made was French bread.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

>Who knew how much went into this process and that there several different methods of getting to the point of actually having a Croissant? Me. I used to have a complete collection of Julia Child's videos, including bread making. After a certain point, I started muttering "I'll have to go to France for **that.** On the whole a French meal involves *at least* half a day to prepare. Thar be good eats in Paris, me bucko. BTW, I've had three bread making machines. They all vibrated themselves off the counter and committed suicide.

Anyone remember Libby Gelman-Waxner?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Any time I can make 'em laugh on an uncomfortable subject, I'm winning.

This happens to me. .I think because I talk low and slow

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

I like to inject the phrase "the ravenous bug blatter beast of Travial" in lectures when I'm certain they fallen asleep on me. They wake up and go "What? Huh?"

Where did the HI and Wave disappear to? It's no longer on my profile page that I can find?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

? Some are only available on line. ????? Now scroll **way down** Smileys & People Animals & Nature Food & Drink Activity Travel & Places Objects Symbols...

Could you date someone that looks like someone you despise.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

If I wasn't married, I'd go out with any ugly muggly once she used the magic words: "I'm buying."

I agree......

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

# I disagree # Teen years meant getting turned down by teenage girls who were looking for guys who had their own place and money to spend on them. Teenagers have to jump through hoops to buy the booze and parents that smell their breath. Currently teens have to put up with on line bullying and having their parents track them down electronically.

I heard Beep Beep just before the crash

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

"E. Coyote chasing it, a Greater Roadrunner can reach speeds of 20 MPH (32 KPH) while a Coyote can reach speeds of up to 43 MPH (69 KPH). Clearly, in an all out footrace, the roadrunner would be dinner."

What causes you to feel loved?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Somebody break down "acts of service" for me. Is that when Petunia opts to mow the yard?

There’s anew potato ? in town ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

I'm not sure which of our two types of potatoes are having more fun.

QUOD ERAT DEMONSTRANDUM (usually abbreviated to Q.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Well, et my al! *That's a joke, son!* Et al means "and others." It's used in scholarly papers to indicate more than one source cited as proof the author knows what they're talking about. It generally shows up in the footnotes at the bottom of the page. Q.E.D. also shows up in scholarly papers, often to let readers know the author is **such** a snob. The implication is "If you don't buy this argument now, you're a ninny." Disclaimer: I stayed in college long enough (six years, two bachelor's degrees) to hate writing scholarly papers. I got high marks on a creative writing assignment for putting footnotes that said "What? You reading footnotes **again?** For shame!"

The new addiction.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

On the far extreme, I've yet to use my cell phone to go on line. I use a tower computer with a large screen monitor. If I'm going to look at porn I demand DETAILS! It breaks my heat that the day of porn movie theater is long since past. Gather around kiddies, let Uncle 99 tell you about the ten foot tall turgid nipples on the silver screen. That'll warp their little spines.

Your guide to the end of the Mueller probe Answering, as best we can, your pressing questions: ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

It could be a cast of thousands.

Old-timey name for STDs ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

*The gift that keeps on giving.*

I NEVER use the elevator in a building. What do you think?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Luck of the Irish.

Hello my fellow weirdos, so good to be back among my own people because let's be honest about being ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

>All the Best People Are. Way too many exceptions to that rule.

Happy Spring Everyone.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

It's Petunia's time to start pestering me for "Where we going this spring?"

[yahoo.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

"If it continues to refuse, Democrats could sue the administration and ultimately take officials to court, where it could get caught up in litigation for years" By the time the dust settles, everyone in the administration will have died in their sleep from old age. :-(

Intermission...(& no matter how tame admin will pull it anyway!)

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Been a while since she hit the buffet.

Plum crazy

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Where you planting it after it gets eaten?

Put it back!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Chewy, chewy, lasts a long time.

Road Rage-(r)

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

# Where's the big cunt to go with it?

The world outside of us can be chaotic, unpredictable and confusing.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

# If you let a smile be your umbrella, they'll think you're a grinning idiot.

Super hiking woman Any guys looking for a hiking partner?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

I'm an old fat white guy with asthma. On backpacking trails, I don't pass anyone. It takes me all day to do ten miles. This year I've had two strokes. Now I stagger when I walk. That phase of my life may have retreated for good. :-( I'm looking at canoing instead.

Finding this journey to being fully single full of twists and turns.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

There's nothing more depressing than saving your Saturday for housework by your lonesome months on end.

Squish them peeps

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Don't you forget:

Booooom!???? poor Filipina's?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Ah, the corn fed daughters of the gringos. Frankly it looks like someone over stuffed their bra.

Germany wants US ambassador expelled

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

**Some** members of German's lawmakers are calling for him to be removed -- **not all." ** Many Germans are irked for inviting Austria's right wing president to have dinner with him at the embassy and for his support of right wing causes.

It looks more like a British Progressive Rock Album cover to me....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Par for the course.

Hello from Sumter, SC. Oh am I in an overchurched area. smdh

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Part of the "overchurched" is splinter churches. A pastor will say something that doesn't set well with a handful of members, so they start their own church. The splinter church typically is lead by someone who hasn't graduated from a seminary and hasn't read the **whole** bible. The church may have as little as eight regular members. It's hard for me to forget one church outside the hamlet of Hickory Tavern,SC, where services were held in a open air fruit stand.

....or any social media.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 20, 2019:

If you have proven them wrong, they won't admit it. Instead, they let the dog lie.

Give yourself the worst superpower...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 19, 2019:

I can die and return without anyone noticing I've been dead.

World Naked Gardening Day - any excuse to get down and dirty [wideopenspaces.com]

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 19, 2019:

I have to wear gloves pull weeds and don't get me started on the joys of using a weed eater naked.

OXTER.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 19, 2019:

>Mainly in use in Scotland, North of England and Ireland. I've never even visited there. It maybe why I've never heard of it before.

REFERENCE A IS MARINE CORPS ORDER 5802.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 19, 2019:

That'll drive enrollment up for the French Foreign League.

White House finally clears things up

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 19, 2019:

# Where's my decoder ring?

How Liberals are Destroying America!!!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 19, 2019:

Worse, liberals want to keep guns out of the hands of certifiably insane and jailbirds.

Ok, time to talk about hipocrisy, but this time in our own site.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 19, 2019:

# I'd like to welcome you to America. # >Why is it forbidden here? Because America is a nation of prudish people. When people bought Penthouse, Playboy, Hustler, etc., they didn't read them on the bus. When showing great art on educational TV, the producers won't show *certain paintings and statues* because it makes the broadcasters nervous. The fun part is there are no hard and fast rules about what makes us gringos uncomfortable. It doesn't stop us from inventing a few rules like *thou shall show no close up pictures of rectums.* Us crazy gringos are willing to break the rules against gals spreading their butt checks as well in the name of artistic freedom. Moderators/administers need an excuse to boot yer ass off their groups and rules against butt holes are as good as any other excuse. Not that they **need** excuses. You might have farted against the wind that day. When we retire to surf the web, we get nervous who gets to look over our shoulders. We got to **save the children** in case they sneak up behind us. In my case it's *save Petunia* if she looks over my shoulder and says "For shame!" Welcome to America. We're crazy shits. On the far extreme for most of human history, we didn't care. People had sex with whores, leaning them against the walls by the main drag to do the dirty. People went "meh" *my little pony* fucked the goat in front of nine year olds. Then they moved to America and things got screwed. In America you ought to be ashamed you had to ask.

Do it in style

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 19, 2019:

In a parking lot? Whoa! I'm impressed.

I was told that is how people up north walked their dog this winter season.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 19, 2019:

Squeeze yer dogs.

Free food and drinks tomorrow night March 19 at Super Happy Fun Land with 4 live music performances ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 18, 2019:

Hokey smokes, Bullwinkle. It's only 900 miles away from me.

I'm tired of adulting. Can I be a kid again??

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 18, 2019:

# Today I am grateful for adult beverages.

How people even wake up and function during the day , ughhh ! A night owl in the day light , I am ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 18, 2019:

The early worm gets the bird.

Well let me say this about Trump.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 18, 2019:

Trump: "There must be Collusion with the Democrats and, of course, Russia! " Yea, they all get together for coffee and cakes to over throw the country Thursdays from 10 a.m. to noon. Pure madness speaks for Trump.

NOoooo….😮😫😯🤨😣🙄

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 18, 2019:

One pot hole and it's all over.

NINCOMPOOP.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I wonder if it's related to a regular poop.

I never saw God or Dog but I did get the sense that we are all just cells in a giant organism on ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

During an epic pass the bong party, I was able to convince my guest *I am God* because who else could screw up the world this badly? From that point on, whenever they saw me in public, they would call out "Hey, God!" and I would wave back, often pausing to chat with the group or blessing them before moving on. This made the residents of San Diego nervous. **I kid you not.**

[secure.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

They have tried to introduce wolves here but the wolves always die from diseases spread by dogs. It's futile to re-introduce wolves because they always get sick and die.

For believers of trumpafarium values "Yes, please explain to me once again how our twice-divorced, ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

It's simple. It's the branch of Christian theology that says the wealthy are blessed by God. Do right you'll wind up with the big bucks. Under that theology billionaires are saints and must be treated as such. Shallow theory but there are too many people who buy into it.

Update on the man who was a little "off" on the phone.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

Although she's a chunky monkey, Petunia always smiles when I tell her I want her scrawny butt in gear.

Trump vs. Mueller

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

Sounds like a good reason to cry in my beer.

These hands

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

As an English major, when I curse at people it takes them a few seconds to realize I'm not flattering them. For example "Your mother yelped loudly when you were born." (In other words "You son of a bitch.") One woman was impressed when I told a guy "Has anyone explained your virgin birth?" What impressed her was he had no clue I was telling him his mother was such a slut nobody had an idea who his father was.

No Irish man will be leaving the bar today Happy St Patrick’s Day ?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

If travel guru Rick Steels is to be believed, high drink prices in Dublin cuts down on the serious boozers.

I'm sick without drinking! need another one!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

Arg, let's club the leprechaun.

Finding a partner who shares the same hobbies is a challenge, to say the least.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

Beekeeping and overnight backpacking. Ideally a sex starved slinky 20 year old who owns the deli downstairs.

MELLIFLUOUS/ MELLIFLUENT - Adjective.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

It's how I describe my extra large wind chimes.

Kind of funny...maybe

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 17, 2019:

# A whole 'nother meaning to bushy tail.

I can't even remember the real lyrics but still funny

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 16, 2019:

Terrifying and frighting with lots of lighting.

Kind of funny...maybe

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 16, 2019:

Sponge Bob gets the best pets.

Current events

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 16, 2019:

## I love it when a plan comes together.

Colorado signs on to popular-vote effort ahead of 2020 presidential election By Michael ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 16, 2019:

Hope it catches on with the rest of the states. It might not catch on in my state where they voted solidly for Trump and support him wholeheartedly. Bunch of idiots in South Carolina.

Went to a drag brunch today and it was amazing!

WonderWartHog99 comments on Mar 16, 2019:

The only time I went to a drag queen show, I took a woman with me that I was having an affair with. She loved it. One of the queens even walked up to her and hugged her.