I think I'm finally coming out of a Looong spell of non-drinking...

MissKathleen comments on Feb 8, 2019:

There are too many of you doing too much of this “chemistry”.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 8, 2019:

@MoonTiger While I know it's a joke, I wanted to know how you came to your conclusion. I can be such a kill joy.

Buttload...

Lutherzme comments on Feb 7, 2019:

There are a bunch of families of English heritage with the last name of Butt...true story.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 8, 2019:

Here it's the Germans or those of German heritage who use Butt as their last name. Used to know a Rusty Butt.

Sudden thought on "the Wall": It has just dawned on me.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 7, 2019:

It's a low wall to keep bagpipes out. Didn't work. Anyone playing an instrument that sounds like cat being molested OUGHT to be kept out of civilized society. Disclaimer: Some of my ancestors fled Scotland and interbred with Native American tribes because they couldn't stand white people. Now, ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 8, 2019:

@FrayedBear jazz is one arm of folk music. As Louis A said "it's all folk music cos I ain't heard no horse sing" - have you? I'd like to see him apply that to bird songs. Originally jazz was improvised music made by untrained musicians, most of who couldn't read sheet music. They looked down on those who could read sheet music. Eventually, they started writing down their successful experiments. One could play jazz on a didgeridoo but it doesn't mean it'll be catchy. As Duke Ellington said "It don't mean a thing if it don't got that swing."

I think I'm finally coming out of a Looong spell of non-drinking...

MissKathleen comments on Feb 8, 2019:

There are too many of you doing too much of this “chemistry”.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 8, 2019:

Been taking names, making spreadsheets, cross indexing it by zip code?

Isn’t she lovely?

Robecology comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Yes she's beautiful. And she's trying hard to do good things. But I think I know the exact date that she'll file for divorce; https://dqzrr9k4bjpzk.cloudfront.net/images/10483604/580654734.jpg

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

@EllenDale You think they're having sex?

The bedroom is upstairs... You coming or what?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Among those who wear +6 inch spike heels, the **first** thing they do when they get home is take their shoes off. The second thing to go is the bra, especially if it's an under wire bra and set their puppies free. It gives me the impression this photo is a fantasy for the great unlaid who see ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

@MST3K One woman told me she had a date that was forcing himself on her. She whipped off her stilettos and started beating him in the back with them. That got his attention.

Isn’t she lovely?

Robecology comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Yes she's beautiful. And she's trying hard to do good things. But I think I know the exact date that she'll file for divorce; https://dqzrr9k4bjpzk.cloudfront.net/images/10483604/580654734.jpg

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

As long as she's married to him, she has more money than if she had to check her pre-nups.

I love this dress ... Supergirls cape lol... How do you like it?

Robecology comments on Feb 7, 2019:

That woman is making serious money on only her looks.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

@Robecology I've had flings with fashion models. Few of them make any "serious" money during their generally brief career. When they do get a job, it'll be a high paying one - for the DAY. They may go the rest of the month waiting for another job. It's why modeling agencies keep recruiting -- the models figure out they'd be better off slinging hash.

Today's cheese. ???

Rudy1962 comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Smooth talker

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

I have an ungodly large collection of playful gnomes doing the nasty, often stuffed in the panties of normal size women Not posting them here.

The bedroom is upstairs... You coming or what?

Charity comments on Feb 7, 2019:

She doesn't have a great butt, she's just sticking her tiny one waaaayyyyy out. I'll follow her upstairs when she finds her ass. Yeah, I know. I'm bitchin about asses again. First world bisexual girl problems....?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

She has to stick it way out or it'd look like a little boy's butt. Honest I haven't a clue what the problems could be among third world bisexual women could be. I only know one of them in Pakistan and she's complaining about an arranged marriage to car dealer. She wants me to send her more porno.

A good friend of mine headed up the Emergency Dept at a hospital in Toronto and he would sometimes ...

Secretguy comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Remember SNL's Appalachian Emergency Room? LOL

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

It didn't air here. I live in Appalachia.

Be honest, is this too much lettuce?

Rudy1962 comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Yes. Yes it is

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

For me, it's heartburn waiting to happen.

wine at both locals

mistymoon77 comments on Feb 7, 2019:

Ooo I'll take butt load of that. Bottoms up!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

You won't finish. Half of a butt of wine is a hogshead -- 63 gallons of wine. That is too heavy for me to pick up by my lonesome.

Sudden thought on "the Wall": It has just dawned on me.

AntaresRose comments on Feb 7, 2019:

45's ancestors ran from the war in Germany. They liked the NAZI idea, but not enough to fight for it.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

Once they got to the US, they claimed they were Swedish.

Sudden thought on "the Wall": It has just dawned on me.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 7, 2019:

It's a low wall to keep bagpipes out. Didn't work. Anyone playing an instrument that sounds like cat being molested OUGHT to be kept out of civilized society. Disclaimer: Some of my ancestors fled Scotland and interbred with Native American tribes because they couldn't stand white people. Now, ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

@FrayedBear I'll try not to hold it against you because I've got bad taste in music: jazz.

The things I do for love.

Hathacat comments on Feb 6, 2019:

If I go, then I will be nice enough to not be a ass about it. I dated a guy that bitched about everything and finally stopped going anywhere with him, and then stopped being with him. Most negative person I have EVER met.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

I get to be sexist for a minute. (After that, they'll hunt me down with dead carps -- see my comment below to Miss K). Women always complain about their worst dates; guys gloat about their best dates.

The things I do for love.

MissKathleen comments on Feb 6, 2019:

Remember all those baseball, football and soccer games I attended with you...and didn’t complain at all?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

No. I wouldn't know you if you ran up behind me and hit me with dead carp. Unless a sport features scantily dressed female athletes, I'm not watching it. Whatever happened to GLOW matches?

Perspective: Use it or lose it.

RavenCT comments on Feb 6, 2019:

For those who don't have phones:

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 7, 2019:

I was waiting for you to come along and do this.

Red balls...

zeuser comments on Feb 6, 2019:

I would bet money it was intentional. The speaker seems to know all kinds of things about psychology, symbolism, and high level subtle trolling.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

>I would bet money it was intentional. How would I collect on that bet?

I have a fear this is how it works.

brainyactress comments on Feb 6, 2019:

Why fear?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

It implies reason has nothing to do with stopping people from figuratively jumping off cliffs.

I've often wondered how durable using an egg carton mattress is.

glennlab comments on Feb 5, 2019:

they don't hold up well, and the expense isn't worth it in my experience.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

@glennlab Hammock tents have always appealed to me. Once I was scolded by a park ranger in Key Largo, Florida, for tying a tent rope to a tree I've questioned getting a hammock for camping.

I've often wondered how durable using an egg carton mattress is.

glennlab comments on Feb 5, 2019:

they don't hold up well, and the expense isn't worth it in my experience.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

Had to ask because some times I see guys with a backpack and a foam mattress strapped on top.

Drove this beauty off the lot yesterday - all mine now! Next up - outfitting her for life on the ...

Boxdoc comments on Feb 5, 2019:

My idea of traveling in my motorhome is to set my GPS options to "No Freeways" I find it more relaxing and who cares how long it takes. Good travels to you

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

You're reminding me of an episode of Top Gear. Four guys, get into four supercharged muscle cars and take on my favorite road, the Blue Ridge Parkway. Once on the open road, they discover a 35 mph speed limit that drops down to 25 mph. Much later, they discover the fastest they're legally allowed on the parkway is 45 mph. All those horses and they're crawling. No trucks, no billboards, no gas stations. Just ridge running in the mountains. Almost one scenic pull over per mile so you can stop driving on hair pin curves and enjoy the view. Live dangerously and bring your own brews because on the Blue Ridge Parkway they have no restaurants, no bars. It's one of those great trips a person needs to take once in their life but you won't get anywhere quickly for over 600 miles.

Great N.Y. Times "Fact Check" on the SOTU...important. [nytimes.com]

Mooolah comments on Feb 6, 2019:

November 3rd 2020. Do not stay home.....please.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

Sounds like preaching to the choir.

Advise a auto mechanic

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 6, 2019:

Change the air in your tires. Put nitrogen in your tires instead.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

@Boxdoc Rotate yer eyeballs while you're at it.

No time to look. The wall

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 6, 2019:

I fail to see the connection between Trump's proposed border wall and his pitiful toad pecker* or how drainage fits into any of it. "In an upcoming book from pornographic film actress Stephanie Clifford, aka Stormy Daniels, President Trump's genitals are likened to "the mushroom character in ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

@Captnron59 I will keep it under careless consideration.

I'd like clarify some of our policies here at g:31 .

glennlab comments on Feb 6, 2019:

Joke em if they can't take a fuck.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

The worst thing an administrator can do is ban you from posting in their group. As if there is a chronic shortage of other groups a person can contribute to.

It's time for dinner!!

phxbillcee comments on Feb 5, 2019:

& not showing up in "Recent Photos". Tom's Intermission (hot tub) seems to have disappeared, also. If I hadn't gotten alerts for these they would be invisible. Glitch or sneaky censorship?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

I got something like 80 responses to posts I made yesterday when I was kicked off a message board. I was obscenely bored yesterday when the flu struck. Dam you, day time TV! My fans will miss me. As a result of my ban, I have no idea if yesterday's posts in that group are still around.

These are the people who keep breeding more humans

phxbillcee comments on Feb 5, 2019:

Actually, this is the way it's supposed to work...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

@phxbillcee I agree. The chart is a little too much book keeping.

Oh shit!! I'm sorry..did I post that in the wrong group? My bad...sorry...peace✌

KKGator comments on Feb 5, 2019:

Dick move.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

@Pbpierson2 I'm always disappointed by sex chats. They don't know enough adverbs and adjectives.

Intermission.

mistymoon77 comments on Feb 6, 2019:

Oh what I wouldn't give to be doing that about now. Got the snow, just need the tub.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

I fear the the utility bills for heating all that water as well as the daily clean up.

Lies from the Rich and Corporations.

camne comments on Feb 5, 2019:

I don't know about #3, but not for the commonly claimed reasons... As the cost of labor goes up, the relative cost of technological alternatives fall. Jobs are being lost to automation, as much as "offshoring". General purpose A.I. & general purpose robotics are becoming cheaper in real ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 6, 2019:

@AntaresRose There are companies screaming for technical people. Largely because they don't want to pay them a living wage.

Something inspirational

KevinAverett comments on Feb 5, 2019:

But, I've got it down to a science!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 5, 2019:

@glennlab It's OK to have one, just don't be one What if you've got two or more? Work at the x-rated freak show?

What a view!!!!

TheDoubter comments on Feb 5, 2019:

the ocean is immense

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 5, 2019:

One of the most arresting prayer I ever heard is "Oh, lord the sea is so vast and my boat is so small." Now for something totally different:

She's easy to forget.

Jamespuck comments on Feb 5, 2019:

Damn I never forget the dear souls I have loved. A character flaw?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 5, 2019:

I've had some forgettable one night stands.

tRump apologized for the Access Hollywood tape and then Reversed that! Now think about Virginia! ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 5, 2019:

Here in South Carolina, which voted solidly for Trump, they'd lynch me if I wore that hat.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 5, 2019:

@AntaresRose I would be moving. I've got offers from people in three different countries to take me in.

Don't Blame Trump Voters

Mofo1953 comments on Feb 4, 2019:

fucking morons!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 5, 2019:

Fucking morons explains why there are so many of them.

Dating apps and sites...I’m curious. What is the deal with married people on dating sites?

Orbit comments on Feb 3, 2019:

Some people are just here for community, and it is a good community!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@Green_eyes When a person is getting laid frequently, it's likely they'll get more than just sex. My friends with benefits got home cooked dinners with adult beverages. It was amazing to find out what women who can't cook and hate to eat out alone will do for a meal. If I'm serving boeuf bourguignon with wine in a box, they'll bring their girl friends. Women -- home delivery; no charge. They never covered that in high school sex education.

Guess I’m not the only tumbleweed survivor of the Camp Fire in Butte County, CA - my address has ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 2, 2019:

**Open for a visit.** Fair warning: there's not much to do in Seneca, SC. You'd like the campgrounds around here that feature lakeside camping at almost every spot.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@Justjoni At the tender age of four, you would have been a bear appetizer. I was recommending South Cove, a bear free campground. I have camped in the Smoky Mountain National Park every summer for 19 years. Although the rangers say they have one bear for every two acres out of 800 square miles of park, I've only SEEN one bear. It was skinny and running across the road. Once ranger see a bear entering the campgrounds they haul in a bear trap. The ONE time I saw the bear trap, they'd put doughnuts inside. Despite the bears staying in hiding most of the time, it doesn't stop rangers from warning campers about the bear they JUST MISSED last week. It's sort of like fish camps where they tell you the fish were biting LAST WEEK. If you were in my neighborhood, I'd be recommending Unico State Park (bear free) for German Mari Gras in neighboring Helen, GA, this week. In New Orleans this year their Mari Gras is in March. Helen is a TAD strange. Although it's tiny (about two square miles and about 600 full time residents), it's one of the top visited cities in Georgia. That's because they try to pawn themselves off as a village in the German Alps where everyone speaks English except for home sick German tourists.

What are things you regularly say to people when they use a figure of speech.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 3, 2019:

Ritualistic responses are the point for when another really doesn't care to get involved in a a conversation, thinking the ritualistic response is the polite thing to say. You might want to say "Now get the fuck outta of my face" but the ritualistic response is "Have a nice day." When ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@HailSatan81 If I have a nice day, I'll smile. If I'm smiling the wife snarls "What the hell have YOU been up to?" After that it isn't a nice day.

I love coffee, but....

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 4, 2019:

Have you been to a craft beer tavern?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 4, 2019:

@Boxdoc My favorite craft brew tavern (Brews on the Alley, Seneca, SC) tried to sell me a $14 bottle of beer once. I've bought one too many bottles of liquor for less.

You know it's fucked up when...

glennlab comments on Feb 4, 2019:

When my father died, the priest refused to give him last rites because he was living in sin with a protestant (my mother) in an unsanctioned marriage, that produced non catholic children who were likewise condemned to hell. Doesn't give you warm feelings about the church.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 4, 2019:

My wife turned to her missionary uncle and asked him to marry us. He refused because my previous wife, who was dead, and I had gotten a divorce. Therefore, he thought it was better for us not to get married. Go forth and live without benefit of clergy; live in sin. I wasn't going to argue with his bent theology. I know a lost cause when I see it. Petunia was stubborn enough to get a bishop to marry us instead. Within a year she started talking about renewing our vows. Sometimes I think women want to get married for an expensive party.

[nationaleconomicseditorial.com] What do you think?

MojoDave comments on Feb 3, 2019:

We are a nation of immigrants. Period. Even 'native' Americans came from somewhere else. The 'immigration problem' isn't a problem. It's racism by another name. Thank the Republicans!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 3, 2019:

>Even 'native' Americans came from somewhere else. 1) Not according to the natives. They claim that their their ancestors have ALWAYS been here and don't accept the version they got here by way of an ice bridge. They aren't actually "natives." They are aboriginals, which means the oldest group living in a place. However some people consider the word aboriginal to imply they're backwards, therefore they'd rather you call them native American. It's like when Negros (Spanish for "black") demanded we started calling them "African Americans," although practically none of the have ever stepped foot in Africa. They will settle for you calling them Blacks, just don't whip out any Spanish on them. 2) The DEFINITION of "native" is a person that was born where they grew up. Therefore most people in the US are natives. Moi? Don't call me late for dinner.

Dating apps and sites...I’m curious. What is the deal with married people on dating sites?

IrishTxJudy comments on Feb 3, 2019:

That's a good question. I've encountered two on this site who reached out to me and one this weekend on an online dating site who was very clear he was married but found me very attractive and wanted a hookup. Not for me....

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 3, 2019:

@IrishTxJudy Then there are wives who are glad there are women who WILL have sex with him. Sort describes billionaire William R. Hurst. He never hid his affairs.

LET GO of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit and bring you drama.

Infoguy211 comments on Feb 3, 2019:

Unfortunately, due to my economic and employment situation, it is impossible for me to do that. Especially since I don't want to live in a tent.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 3, 2019:

Feel free to visit my site &AdultTentCampingHikingDixie It'll tell you how to live in a tent.

Dating apps and sites...I’m curious. What is the deal with married people on dating sites?

Orbit comments on Feb 3, 2019:

Some people are just here for community, and it is a good community!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 3, 2019:

This community reminds me why I'm married. Not looking to get laid. I used to have a Florida neighbor who nailed her snow shovel on the garage wall. It was to remind her why she lived in Florida.

Dating apps and sites...I’m curious. What is the deal with married people on dating sites?

IrishTxJudy comments on Feb 3, 2019:

That's a good question. I've encountered two on this site who reached out to me and one this weekend on an online dating site who was very clear he was married but found me very attractive and wanted a hookup. Not for me....

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 3, 2019:

I've got single female friends. We don't have sex and don't plan to have sex. By hook up, he may mean he wants just friendship.

What are things you regularly say to people when they use a figure of speech.

josh_is_exciting comments on Jan 31, 2019:

"Bless you" "I'm not dying" (the origin having to do with an assumption of impending death due to illness)

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 3, 2019:

For most of human history, high morality was a fact, Jack. "How are you?" wasn't a pleasantry. You beat the odds if you got out of childhood alive. In not so merry old England, they didn't even name the child until it was over a year old. That's why most guys married teen brides and manhood rituals at 13. The good old days were horrible.

What are things you regularly say to people when they use a figure of speech.

glennlab comments on Jan 31, 2019:

answer to "how are you?" varies from," Great, but I'll get better," " I've had worse days, but it's still early, " "Tired, worn out and miserable, but other than that great" to " Buckle up, it's about to get interesting."

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 3, 2019:

@HailSatan81 When I hear "excuse me" my response is "There is an excuse for you?"

What are things you regularly say to people when they use a figure of speech.

ToolGuy comments on Feb 1, 2019:

How am I? Any better and they’d make me illegal.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 3, 2019:

@HailSatan81 My response is "I'm so wonderful it's disgusting to give the details."

Guess I’m not the only tumbleweed survivor of the Camp Fire in Butte County, CA - my address has ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 2, 2019:

**Open for a visit.** Fair warning: there's not much to do in Seneca, SC. You'd like the campgrounds around here that feature lakeside camping at almost every spot.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 3, 2019:

@Justjoni You might enjoy my group, &AdultTentCampingHikingDixie.

This made me smile. How to dress for cold weather: 1. Take off your clothes 2. Go back to bed

bleurowz comments on Feb 2, 2019:

3. With someone you love. Okay if you love yourself, too.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 3, 2019:

If you got a California king size bed, you'll have room for more fun.

Just my luck.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 2, 2019:

In the bad old days, you got rid of junk mail by marking it "refused." In most cases, the sender paid postage to get their mail returned. That always got me off the mailing list.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@Captnron59 Strap a brick on the pre-paid postage envelope and send it back to them?

Guess I’m not the only tumbleweed survivor of the Camp Fire in Butte County, CA - my address has ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 2, 2019:

**Open for a visit.** Fair warning: there's not much to do in Seneca, SC. You'd like the campgrounds around here that feature lakeside camping at almost every spot.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@Justjoni I got a year long pass to the nearest campground to me: South Cove. Petunia and I like to take strolls there. The park has rental kayaks, boat ramps, fishing piers and a camp store. At the camp store, you can buy worms and fishing gear for the worst fishing you'll ever do. The good fishing is a small pond 20 miles down the road at Oconee Station Park. The pond is overstocked and they've lifted fishing limits. The area (Oconee County) has over 30 waterfalls, MOST of which are easy to. The rest are terror tales of bush whacking thru the underbrush, trail marks that have vanished or hanging off a cliff.

The weather outside is frightening. Stop the snow!

Elganned comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Not to worry; as cold as it is, no one could *get* a boner.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@AntaresRose, @Elganned Mythbusters did a show that proved not much would happen if you peed on a third rail. The reason is that piss isn't a SOLID stream. It breaks up once it flies out of the penis.

The weather outside is frightening. Stop the snow!

Elganned comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Not to worry; as cold as it is, no one could *get* a boner.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@Elganned, @AntaresRose >Water can be a good conductor. Depends on how much impurities it has in it. Distilled water is an especially bad conductor. The confusion arises once one discovers what an excellent conductor the human body is. Therefore if you're standing in water, the water will act as an insulator and you'll be the live wire because electricity prefers the path of least resistance. Therefore if you're in a boat in the middle of the ocean during a thunderstorm, the nearest lighting bolt will hit your boat rather than the water. Boats make better conductors than water.

The weather outside is frightening. Stop the snow!

Elganned comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Not to worry; as cold as it is, no one could *get* a boner.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@Elganned I've taken a whizz with a ranging hard on. Let's not speak of the accuracy of my aim.

Cross posted: Well said! “This needs to fucking stop!” [lgbtqnation.com]

Freedompath comments on Feb 1, 2019:

How did we as a people...turn our society over to degenerate humans, that are ‘hell bent,’ on causing harm to all of us but for certain...to the least among us? How? These degenerates continue to run the show with hatred and denigration and people watch and go-along with the sickness! How? Are ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 2, 2019:

>If I could...I would ‘rip the head’ off . . . . only I could? Set an example for us, okay. Kill people on whims. Come the revolution, you'll be the first against the wall.

I drank some rye. My teammate says rye gives you good sex dreams. I'll take what I can get. LOL

Hathacat comments on Feb 1, 2019:

What does it taste like? One of the few I haven't tried!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@MrLizard It taste like the sweeter version of bourbon.

Well it IS funny...

escapetypist comments on Feb 2, 2019:

Getting himself crucified is Jesus' way of filing for bankruptcy

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@escapetypist He died because he forgot the safe word.

I found a singles ad said to bring huge amounts of applicants. Ad brings success.

Carin comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Cute!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 2, 2019:

@Geektheist What, the RSPCA doesn't have branch offices in the states? Why we must dash off a missive to the editor of the Times. :-)

Sexy Shadow Art!

Cutiebeauty comments on Feb 1, 2019:

.............. No words......

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

When words fail use, over kill dots.

Know your dicks

metalhead222 comments on Feb 1, 2019:

two pretty big dicks

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Trump is not a big dick according to Stormy Daniels.

So, I have a last minute invitation/request for suggestions, and I thought I'd ask this esteemed ...

of-the-mountain comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Try Ruby Falls! At least you will be underground for an hour or two!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Been there. When I was there they also sold discount tickets to Rock City, just a few miles away. That being said, it's more than an eight hour drive from Atlanta.

So, I have a last minute invitation/request for suggestions, and I thought I'd ask this esteemed ...

Cutiebeauty comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Google search NYC... Plenty of things to do.... ?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

NYC is more like a three DAY trip from Atlanta. If the traffic isn't congested (it always is when passing through large cities), no rest stops, no bathroom breaks, nobody wants to stop for a meal and nobody refuels the car, it's a 13 hour, 1,200 mile trip. Max trip for me is 10 hours, 500 miles a day. That's assuming I don't spare the horses, use restrooms, stop for lunch, refuel twice and get out of the car every hour or two to prevent leg cramps. If I am using the Interstate highway most of the way, I assume the AVERAGE speed will be 50 mph. During my 500 mile a day trip, I'll be going as fast as the other traffic on the Interstate. Often, that's 80 mph. The cops won't pull EVERYBODY over for speeding. AVERAGE speed is what a person has to factor in on a trip.

So, I have a last minute invitation/request for suggestions, and I thought I'd ask this esteemed ...

ATDayHiker comments on Feb 1, 2019:

There is nothing special happening in the Knoxville area, but maybe Gatinburg and the Smoky Mountains could be an option since the weather will be warm. Chattanooga might be a closer option. Lots to see there if you have not been there yet.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

>the Smoky Mountains could be an option since the weather will be warm. You funny. The mountains are ALWAYS colder than the flat lands. Smoky Mountains National Parks have closed ALL the campground now and its common for them to close down the main road, the Trans Mountain Highway, 441.

So, I have a last minute invitation/request for suggestions, and I thought I'd ask this esteemed ...

Lutherzme comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Charleston or Asheville are my two faves!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Next time I visit Ashville, I want to take the beer tour. I think they've got at least 20 craft breweries and a tour bus to take you there.

Talk about a bad date.

germangirl90439 comments on Feb 1, 2019:

EEEEEEEEEK! Driving home the other day, I was behind a vehicle that had a sticker "Women for Trump" - it took all I had to not run into her!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@JackPedigo Proof size doesn't matter to women. Waiting for someone to connect to a lurid version.

& the war continues...

glennlab comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Anybody that can understand bushels, pecks, and stones shouldn't be afraid of a base 10 system.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Weight in stones is common in the UK and Ireland but not in the states. It was prohibited for commercial use in the UK by the Weights and Measures Act of 1985. It was confusing enough for the Brits. Go ahead and tell someone you drive a 1,287 stone truck and see the glaze on their face. They might ask "You driving a ROCK?" Bushels and pecks vary depending on what you're buying. For example a bushel of dried apples is 24 pounds, a bushel of barley is is 48 pounds and a bushel of soy beans is 60 pounds. Confuses me.

Interesting and makes me feel good about having no love of eating oysters.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I used to snorkel along an oyster reef, dive knife in hand. As I removed the little sewage suckers off the reef, a parade of marine life followed me to get the scrapes of smaller marine life I'd crushed in the process as well as finding a bone crushing moray eel or two. If I accidentally opened an ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@Leafhead I live dangerously. I'd eat them if I saw calf fries on the menu. I've seen travel shows with a chief and they always recommend them. You are reminding me of an old dirty joke. A tourist visits a Spanish restaurant in Spain. He gets a menu COMPLETELY in Spanish. When the waiter comes around he randomly points at one of the items. After he's eaten, he asks what it was. The waiter explains the bull lost the fight in the bull ring and they cooked his balls. "Wow," replies the tourist. "I don't care what it was. When I come back tomorrow, that's what I want again." Next day, he comes back and they give him the same order. "These," he complains, "aren't the same size as yesterday. They're very small." The waiter replies, "The bull. He not always loses." If the punch line goes over your head, I'm not explaining it.

For the believers

bookofmorons comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Amen!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

@actofdog Fur sur, fur sure.

Namaste... ??

Babyoda comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Nice picture very artistic ,those are some very pink nipples.lol .Flexibility is my second favorite thing about women,the first is willingness.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

If they're not willing, don't think about it. All that screaming and lawsuits will give you such a headache.

Namaste... ??

ToakReon comments on Feb 1, 2019:

And here we have Karma Sutra position number thirty-eight...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

They're not numbered in the Karma Sutra. Instead the positions come with names that first made me blush like Elephant and Mouse. Most of the book is about how to talk women into having sex with a guy. Considering how much whining from the Great Unlaid on the internet, must be an unpopular book.

Namaste... ??

Cutiebeauty comments on Feb 1, 2019:

Nice pic... Umm... What is namaste?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

It's an word from India meaning respect for those who practice yoga. Generally it means"I bow to you for showing me your divine spirit." First time you've heard the word?

?Who likes big butts?

AtheistReader comments on Feb 1, 2019:

I can not lie.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Neither can I. I'm so truthful it hurts guilty bystanders.

God I miss cuddles.. sometimes the best part of sex..

BeeHappy comments on Jan 31, 2019:

I have a large pillow I cuddle... not the same but helps a little... sorta. ?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Feb 1, 2019:

Sometimes those pillows are called Dutch wives.

How do Americans celebrate the lunar new year, year of the pig?

KKGator comments on Jan 31, 2019:

I do not. Haven't watched the superbowl in years. I also don't "celebrate the lunar new year, year of the pig". I don't even know what those things are. Btw, footballs are no longer made of pigskin. They are made of cowhide and vulcanized rubber. The nickname "pigskin" is just that. Only a ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

@escapetypist Um, so you're well preserved 96 year old? :-)

How do Americans celebrate the lunar new year, year of the pig?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 31, 2019:

Most Americans aren't recently arrived from Asia and therefore don't observe the lunar new year.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

@Surfpirate Odd, I can no longer find yogurt in the local supermarkets that have live cultures anymore.

How do Americans celebrate the lunar new year, year of the pig?

KKGator comments on Jan 31, 2019:

I do not. Haven't watched the superbowl in years. I also don't "celebrate the lunar new year, year of the pig". I don't even know what those things are. Btw, footballs are no longer made of pigskin. They are made of cowhide and vulcanized rubber. The nickname "pigskin" is just that. Only a ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

I neither watch football or participate in lunar new year celebrations. Doesn't stop me from knowing what they are.

If you got to steal, steal from the best.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 30, 2019:

Progress. There's no stopping it.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

@Freedompath Progress in fixing elections.

If you got to steal, steal from the best.

Charlene comments on Jan 30, 2019:

When the KKK damn near took the country over..

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

@Elganned In 1925 one could still find veterans of the Civil War. Once they started dropping dead, the KKK's influence declined.

If you got to steal, steal from the best.

TheDoubter comments on Jan 31, 2019:

Hillary received millions of votes more than Trump. But that's not how the system works. Electoral College votes are what counts. Those votes aren't based on gerrymandering. Each state gets numbers based on their Congressional representation. Trump accumulated the votes of many smaller states to ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

The system was invented to allow slave states to have equal sway in selecting a president. Got rid of the slavery but we didn't get rid of the electoral college.

If you got to steal, steal from the best.

TheDoubter comments on Jan 31, 2019:

Hillary was unsavory, too. It's criminal that in a country of 300 million we had to choose between a pair of scoundrels.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

Hillary barely edged out Bernie. Hillary was investigated at least a dozen times during her career, yet never convicted.

The new Girl Scout cookie is a hit!

chocbroc comments on Jan 31, 2019:

Shameless plug - if anyone needs cookies, message me for a link! They can be shipped anywhere in the US. And if you’re outside the US but need your fix, we can work something out:)

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

Tempting offer. I married a diabetic who shamelessly keeps eating high sugar, high fat cookies. Now if you have a line of high quality, cheap fudge cookies, they'll never convict me.

When bible bangers CONTINUE to quote scripture after I told them I have contempt for their book, I ...

phxbillcee comments on Jan 31, 2019:

Or, to really flummox & piss them off, quote passages back that contradict what they've stated! There are sure enough of them!

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

The theory is if they want to quote their book, I can quote Muffinism back at them. Says here in the High Holy Book of Who Ha, Chapter Square Root of Negative One . . . It's been a non-functional theory. They don't catch on that my self-invented religion mocks their fictional faith. The problem with your suggestion is I've always had trouble memorizing anything including state capitals, times tables and so on. Memorizing dozens of chapter and verse bible quotes would be an epic struggle. However memorizing CONCEPTS comes easily for me. I've been involved with on line groups long enough to memorize the concepts to argue against their religious beliefs. My favorite concept is when they disavow the old testament to endorse the new testament. What, Jesus wasn't Jewish? He didn't base his faith on the laws of Judaism? Are the Old Testament predictions of Jesus' coming as a messiah like really, really bogus? He just sprang from whole cloth and disavowed all of Judaism? Don't you believe in talking snakes anymore? Their arguments are predictable. Once confronted with questions they can't answer after they snarl at me, they don't darken my door again.

I heard one guy who recommended taking rocks that a person would otherwise make into a fire circle ...

MissKathleen comments on Jan 31, 2019:

Hmmm

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

Forgot the lyrics to the song?

Hey fellow humans .

glennlab comments on Jan 31, 2019:

welcome it looks like you're finding your way around.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

@CoryRiv21 Let's hope you don't get excepting you. Except means to exclude, omit, leave out, rule out, count out, disregard, pass over and so on. You made a typo while typing "accepting." It's too early to toss your butt out. :-)

What an idiot!

Hathacat comments on Jan 30, 2019:

They need to take away his twitter account.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

@Hathacat Not entirely. Some of his staff ghostwrites his tweets. If the tweets come in in the wee hours, it's Trump. People have pointed out that Trump prefers his brand of cell phone and his staff prefers a different brand. They both use the same account to tweet.

The animal kingdom seems to experience some of the same relationship behaviors that people do.

TheGreatShadow comments on Jan 31, 2019:

Good thing I am not a cat! Yeah, those are cats...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

Arg, a lioness is the big pussy. On the highly inaccurate front, Petunia refers to my tom cat (Percy) as a pussy. Because he's been fixed, he's not interested in pussy.

The polar vortex seems to be on my mind a lot lately, I wonder why?

azzow2 comments on Jan 30, 2019:

Gives new meaning to cold as a witches hooter.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

Just one hoot?

Church of Bob said they wanted a word with me.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 31, 2019:

Bob's church is known as the church of the sub genius. Their manifesto promises: SEE ANOTHER DIMENSION ON YOUR TV "Bob's" promise is to widen the scope and nature of *abnormal behavior*...to explore NEW WAYS of going over the edge *and coming back*. PLUS to *bring back those who couldn't on ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 31, 2019:

Not that there's any whoopers being told in any other church. Bob has the flashiest ones.

Someone just viewed my ID profile. I looked at her profile. It is so romantic... ?

KKGator comments on Jan 30, 2019:

She should get a cat. I was going to say she should get a dog, but I don't think she would be properly suited to caring for one.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

Cats aren't faithful. I refer to my tom cat as "the little trader."

I liked this. I don't know if it's been here yet.

KevinAverett comments on Jan 30, 2019:

Cold dead heart?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

The ad suggest the two guys are married to each other and raising a child. That would irritate those who are homophobic,ergo "cold dead heart" reply. At least they're trying to feed a hungry child. Ru Paul would have done as much.

Toilet paper and "courtesy" flush.

GuyKeith comments on Jan 30, 2019:

One word: Dinkleberries

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

@GuyKeith I run with the wrong crowd. They give me baffled looks should I ever refer to a dingleberry. Perchance it's not all that common.

Toilet paper and "courtesy" flush.

Nukdookum comments on Jan 30, 2019:

I refold sections to wipe the times with the same section of TP. However I can use like four or five sections because each time I wipe the tp comes away with shit on it. I don't give a crap what the bathroom smells like, I refuse to leave shit on my ass and go back out into public. Perhaps if there ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

@Nukdookum The OP says ". . . I have been in public restrooms and . . . ." In other words it doesn't happen EXCLUSIVELY at his home. Additionally, except for janitors nobody gives rats pattotie how much toilet paper is wasted in a public toilet. (Janitors assure me they have problems with toilet paper (TP) theft, including those huge rolls). However, if the author has to buy THEIR OWN TP, it would give them a tizzy fit when they encounter the roll a day user.

Weird, isn't it?

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 30, 2019:

I wonder how many people had sex by mistake. Considering how often I see women posting about the nightmare relationships, it might be most people.

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

@phxbillcee That's accidental coddling. People who slam into each other first thought isn't "Why don't we screw?" Accidental sex is when one or both parties catching themselves saying "This was a mistake. I didn't MEAN to. I never want to do this again. It was an accident." I'd give an example if I wasn't under contract to write letters to Cosmopolitan magazine editors.

Toilet paper and "courtesy" flush.

Pralina1 comments on Jan 30, 2019:

Man , I wish I could contribute on this topic , but I got nothing . I am a woman , therefore I don't poop or gas or any similar . Ok . I take this back . Once I farted some glitter that smelled like eucalyptus ?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

In contrast, my triple flutter thunder farts are classified as chemical warfare and my terrifying turds are mistaken for cow flops.

Toilet paper and "courtesy" flush.

Nukdookum comments on Jan 30, 2019:

I refold sections to wipe the times with the same section of TP. However I can use like four or five sections because each time I wipe the tp comes away with shit on it. I don't give a crap what the bathroom smells like, I refuse to leave shit on my ass and go back out into public. Perhaps if there ...

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

There are bidets as well as kits to convert your to toilet into a bidets. CHEAP kits. Find the warehouse size hardware store, head for the plumbing section and ask the clerk to squire you over to bidet section.

How about sharing some love with me today? I want to hit Level 7. Yes, today I'm a points whore.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jan 30, 2019:

I made level seven today as well. It seems like a pointless achievement. Do they throw parties for me next? Do the dancing girls show up? Will I get invitations for couch surfing in Cuba? Discount rates at Dutch coffee houses?

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

@glennlab Tempting offer. It has been many a moon since I visited Dallas. I used to live near Austin and gallivant about the state.

How about sharing some love with me today? I want to hit Level 7. Yes, today I'm a points whore.

glennlab comments on Jan 30, 2019:

You're gonna get this

WonderWartHog99 replies on Jan 30, 2019:

She got that. I got that. What will it all mean?