I registered here awhile ago but haven't been active so I thought I should start. Hello, I'm Deanna. I was raised on a bible school campus - Prairie Bible Institute in Alberta, Canada. I flew the coop at 17 because of the abuse of my mother. I was a quiet, complacent, compliant girl. I had no idea what existed beyond PBI.
Religion never really "took hold" even though I kept trying to find churches I liked, mainly because the people could be helpful, even gave me money sometimes. I went through a master's degree without giving up "spirituality", although I had given up church in my 20s. It wasn't until I was living with a dude whom I didn't know was still very christian (also from PBI) so he got rid of me pretty quickly! But he had books around - Sam Harris, Richard Feynman, and I started reading. I was 46. Next I found Christopher Hitchens. Then I rekindled my love of Richard Dawkins' books. Richard Carrier, Bart D. Ehrman, Daniel Dennett, Seth Andrews, Matt Dillahunty, even exchanged messages with Aron Ra. Got to see/hear Dawkins and Peter Bogghosian in Portland, OR. I'm not a hardcore materialist, only because there's that .1% chance there actually is a flying spaghetti monster out there... or something else. I mean, the universe is a pretty amazing place. Plants communicate. Roots talk to each other. Plants send out chemical SOS's, a plant "scream", and so on. I am in awe of all of this. But I do not believe in any gods whatsoever. I don't refer to myself as an atheist because that word has no meaning. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? Maybe "atheistic", maybe "anti-theist".
I'm sick. I've been unwell since age 10 when I developed a mystery ailment that has stuck with me when nobody else has. So I guess Pain and Yuckiness are my best friends. I'm better now than I've been in 15 years so I'm not complaining. But I'm very alone because of it.
Both of my wonderful marriages ended because of religion. My mother never did come around. But one of my sisters and I are so close that we do the same thing at the same time and we hardly ever see each other as my family lives in the US while I'm still in Canada. So she realized she was an atheist the same time I did. Our brother cut us off years ago because we wore pants, had short hair and did men's jobs - extreme fundy. The other two sisters are still very religious, although one is embarrassed about it and never talks about it. The other sister is very vocal. She's the one who asked if I'd take care of their cats when the rapture happens since I won't be going, and, don'tcha know, animals go to heaven, just not in the rapture!
I was a musician as a younger woman - sang around lounges and bars and taught piano. Later I taught yoga and did massage therapy despite the illness but it took me down anyway. I'm a published author but the illness took that away too. My kids are all atheists too, despite their dad trying to take them to sunday school whenever I was away for a weekend. They came to that conclusion on their own because I was still a bit religious\spiritual in those days. They're way smarter than I was.