No one take a fence.

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2019:

I laughed out loud. ?

I ran across a post on FB the other day, and I thought it would be a fantastic idea to do myself.

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2019:

I don't like to watch someone else cook. I bite my tongue a lot to keep from saying stuff like "why the fuck are you doing it *that * way?" I probably wouldn't be in your target market though. Give it a shot, let us know how it goes.

Yes, it is around the corner now

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2019:

Hey, it made the hallmark guys a lot of money over the course of the decades. I never liked it, especially the meaningless exchange of cheap valentine cards in elementary school. I try to remember when it happens in order to avoid restaurants that night. You can also get cheap candy the next day if you're into that.

It really does read like a B movie.

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2019:

If only it was that simple. We've got a fair bit more nightmare to put up with before we all wake up.

Is Hillary Clinton A Closet Lesbian?

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2019:

So what if she is?

He can relate!

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2019:

Asswipe.

from Moscow Times

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2019:

Nope, no ties at all.

The Gofundme for the wall is being stopped and all donations refunded. [nbc4i.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2019:

A right wing con man? Nobody could see *that * coming, right?

Wall or gun control?

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2019:

Get the mass shooting victims to form a PAC, donate 10 million USD, and now we're talking, right?

I'm feeling a little betrayed. I just found out my KY Jelly isn't from Kentucky at all.

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2019:

That's a slippery slope.

Now I'm confused.

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2019:

Sadly, the American educational system produces far fewer STEM graduates than American tech companies need.

Rudy Giuliani doubles down on his dubious claim that the White House should be able to review and ...

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2019:

Oh Rudy. He's an attack dog with a law degree. An ex prosecutor, and current incompetent sycophant. He changes the model of a lawyer where you are expecting your lawyer to say things to help you legally. That's crazy talk with Rudy. Everything he says nowadays is crazy talk.

Trump rejects shutdown deal Republicans negotiated with Republicans | MSNBC

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2019:

He just wants to declare a national emergency. It's a new toy, like revoking press credentials was, like revoking security clearances was, like shutting the government down itself was. He doesn't have a party, he wants it to be all him *even when people agree with him.*

They called him Annie

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2019:

Just don't call him late for dinner!

That fucking POS.

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2019:

You have lots of company.

Trump seeks to expand powers as Mueller, Democrats threaten to constrain Analysis by Stephen ...

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2019:

Abject incompetency and lack of verbal restraint are both two-edged swords. He will keep shooting until there are no toes left. His downfall lies within him, he can't stop it, he was born to fail.

But I wanna work and not get paid! [yahoo.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2019:

Many different threads infect the fevered mind of the current arsewipe in chief: insanity, delusion, deliberate fabrication, paranoia, sadistic intent, cruelty, entitlement, greed, hubris, narcissism. You will not find: logic, reason, empathy, honesty, policy goals, coherence, adequate vocabulary, class. So he's stiffing people and convincing himself that they like it. Gaslighting us," you are forcing me to do this because you are denying me what I want." Words do not suffice, a travesty of historic proportions foisted upon the republic by hostile foreign powers and complicity by the apathetic who didn't vote and the collaborators who want to see other people suffer.

Since I am such an unstable idiot, I can't figure out what is going on here.

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2019:

And the farmers he is screwing over can't pick up their tariff-relief checks because, hey, the government is shut down. Thanks Obama! The talking yam is like someone pissing with a firehose, everybody, and I mean everybody, gets soaked but him.

Trump claims Mexico would never pay for the wall? I'm confused. [independent.co.uk]

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2019:

Reminds me of the character Jon Lovitz played on SNL 20 years ago or so. Yeah, they're paying indirECTly, yeah! That's the ticket!

What a great solution!

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2019:

Good point. Sad but true.

Sooo, he tells it like it is.....

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2019:

And he owns the libtards, that's important. RME

San Fran Federal Building

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2019:

Gotta love the folks in SF. I believe that is Pelosi territory.

FBI petitioning to reopen the government.

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2019:

Actually, the talking yam has complained about how corrupt the FBI is, so this doesn't look like a winning argument for the special agents who stand now to be villified and insulted by the moron in chief. I do admire their courage and initiative. As for the M-I-C, the next thing I admire about him will be the first thing, and I don't see it happening anytime soon.

Having a temper-tantrum over being accused of having a temper-tantrum essentially proves you had a ...

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2019:

Remember the first rule of projection. Accuse someone else of doing the exact same thing you are doing. Accused Sen. Schumer of lying, guess what he is doing himself.

William Arkin, veteran journalist, leaves NBC because of Trump coverage; very interesting and ...

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2019:

You let a camel into the tent and you spend your time noticing every time he takes a dump and eats your clothes. Same with an orangutan.

It IS kinda funny. Wonder who they'll hate next?

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2019:

Just leave PBR alone!

nice Trump, good boy

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2019:

Probably due for his shots, or his regularly scheduled anal probe.

Welcome to Day 720.

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2019:

Just another beautiful day in the asshole-igarchy.

My dick is bigger than yours... [lgbtqnation.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2019:

Toothpick vs. needle. When comparing with relatives, everything is relative. LOL ?

What would it take the president to do for you to gain respect for him?

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2019:

No, it's too late for that. That ship has already sailed.

A little rant, just to make me feel better.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2019:

Sorry you lost your brother. If it makes you feel any better, he can't hear them.

Just a random thought on the government shut down: What if the government is bankrupt and ...

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2019:

The classic orangutan technique: declare bankruptcy, borrow money from Putin laundered through Deutsch Bank, go to Mar-a-lago for a couple of rounds on the links, stiff everybody else,

What did you do instead of watching his televised tantrum tonight?

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2019:

Watched the Duke Blue Devils kick the living pork out of the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. You know, I've always watched presidential addresses: Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon and the Bushes (who I despised), Clinton, Carter, Obama, Ford. But I just could NOT muster the fortitude to listen to this asshole lie while occupying the oval office. It is a defilement of the office, and the country is dirtier for it.

Did you hear about this today?

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2019:

He has the gout? He needs to knock off the lobster thermidor and double stout. But the anxiety and depression, who has those in prison? Har, har, har.

Trump the detective! [thenib.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2019:

Except for the complete sentences, this is pretty much what passes for his thought process.

Exactly!

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2019:

First you have to get people to believe you. That didn't happen except with his toothless cult. He is going down.

More winning.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2019:

1 - Make up a fictional problem, demonize some country or group in the process. 2 - Apply a "solution" to the problem that doesn't make any sense. 3 - Fuck it up so that the "solution" makes the "problrem" worse. 4 - Blame the democrats. 5 - Make sure you tweet "WITCH HUNT" a couple of times. 6 - Profit!

Trump comes from good stock. [ahtribune.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2019:

Acorns do not fall far from the tree. Even rotten acorns.

Never one to pull his punches, Snoop Dogg has some advice for federal workers affected by the gov't ...

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2019:

Somehow, even though Snoop is my my guy here, I don't think the orange arsewipe's base will be tuned in to this message, unless they see it on Fox News and bitch about Snoop saying "motherfucker", cuz those snowflake fuckwits can't take profanity, you know? Such politically correct pansies. 8-)

Trump Literally Did Not Understand What a Shutdown Would Do

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2019:

When ignorance, hubris, cruelty, and lack of empathy coalesce, it looks like this.

What do you think would happen if the American People surrounded the White House and tRump was ...

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2019:

Well, he'd have his "second amendment people" there to help him out, don't forget that. But if the women got to him, they'd rip him apart.

Cat or Dog?

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2019:

My last dog passed in November 2012. I believe I may be in a position to get another rescue this spring, but we'll see. You have the tendency to compare the new pooch to the old one, but each dog is different and it takes a while to figure out the things you love about the new guy. But dog, definitely. My daughter and I are both a bit allergic to cats, though I do like the ones that aren't assholes.

Idea: Louisville Slugger could make a fortune if it manufactured a bat with tRumps face on it.

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2019:

You can package it together with the best 45 marketing idea, the Trump butt plug. LOL https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/07/14/donald-trump-butt-plug_n_7796138.html

Keurig or French Press?

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2019:

I had a Keurig for years, very convenient but terrible for the environment. When I heard the inventor regretted ever inventing it because of the ecological impact of the discarded plastic cups, I switched to a French press about a year ago. It's a little more work, but much better for Mother Earth.

Who is more predictable? The president or Gary Busey? GO!

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2019:

I voted for our buffoon in chief, because you can reliably count on him to be a blithering narcissistic asshole.

Snoop Dog on Trump’s shutdown [hillreporter.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2019:

I just wish he'd speak his mind. ? Attaboy Snoop.

Shared from my Facebook page:.

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2019:

Well, I was paying attention and this didn't happen just recently. Their credibility has been absent for quite a while.

Epic tweet: Don't like Mother fucker?

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2019:

Semi - conscious? You think?

Pilots association issues letter to Trump about the shutdown. [inc.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2019:

I agree that this won't really impress our orange overweight version of Marie Antoinette, however it may give some of the republican senators, at least those not on the Kremlin's payroll, some sort of clue that this is making them all look foolish - at the minimum. The best way out is for both houses of congress to pass the budget continuing resolution without the wall funding and override the veto from president numb-nuts. We are one plane crash away from that happening, and I hope that isn't what it's going to take.

I hate making fun of people's looks...usually...but this is just funny stuff! [facebook.]

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2019:

I like the studios that these were supposedly taken in. Kelly Ann's is the "Nebraska State Fair". Somebody else was "Dollar Tree Portraits". Childish, but funny.

Things that make NO sense: I am sure you have all heard that your bedroom should be totally dark, ...

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2019:

When I get up in the middle of the night for bladder relief (which, sadly, happens with more frequency these days) I don't want to use the Braille technique to find the toilet, nor the sudden shock of lighting the entire room from a state of total darkness. So I have a little night light in the bathroom, which I can see when I rise from the bed. And after I do what is necessary, I fall asleep again. 8-)

Why is Christianity called a monotheistic religion, when in church every one chants they believe in ...

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2019:

You are trying to apply logic and consistent terminology to mythological horseshit. That rarely ends well.

i'm pretty sure he's never read this book....or any book.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2019:

Laughing and sobbing at the same time.

Yep, people ARE stupid! [msn.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2019:

On the plus side, this makes it harder to find the tide pods. ?

Is the image moving? Don't hurt your eyes now.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2019:

Gimme about 15 til the shrooms kick in, then ask me again.

Have you ever just wanted to tie "Flo" the Progressive Insurance character down to a tanning bed and...

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2019:

I'd be happy if she won the lottery and never made another commercial. I think the gekko is cuter, anyway. LOL

Just to set things straight

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2019:

I don't like to brag either, but I also used a bunch of adjectives before the mf word. **proud**

Trump has painted himself into a corner.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2019:

I really hope it plays out this way. I understand the senate republicans are starting to pressure Turtle-head to at least address this mess. It could come to some compromise not palatable to the talking yam but acceptable to both houses of congress, the orange idiot could veto it, and the veto could be overridden. Now that's what I would expect during normal times. In this situation, a veto override would effectively end the relevancy of the current illegitimate administration. I don't think that's how it will play, but it could.

Not only has Trump shutdown the Gov't because he fucked up thinking he could get Mexico to pay for ...

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2019:

Good common sense, and an accurate description of the responsibilities of the legislative and executive branches respectively. Unfortunately, those characteristics are not compatible with the current fake president's default settings, which are in Russian.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2019:

Thanks, hon, you are a good mod. 8-)

Finally accepting that the vast majority of people are cunts.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2019:

Really? I gotta write that down. ?

This may be a dumb question but I’m a bit of a dunce when it comes to sciency stuff.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2019:

You have guessed correctly. They put a satellite into orbit around the moon, and it relays signals back to mother Earth. From the NYT article: "To overcome the challenge of communicating from the moon’s far side, China had previously launched a satellite called Queqiao, or Magpie Bridge. It now orbits beyond the moon to act as a relay for transmissions to and from the mission control center on the northwestern outskirts of Beijing." https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/03/world/asia/china-change-4-moon.html

Do you have an ex you are still friends with? It doesn't have to be your most recent ex.

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2019:

Yeah, I just had New Year's dinner at my ex-wife's house with both of the kids there. Been divorced 9 years after 28 being married, and everything in the relationship improved the minute she walked out the door.

Graham: Trump giving up on border wall fight would be the ‘end of his presidency’ [thehill.

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2019:

He put himself in this situation all by his own stupid self.

Submitted my disassociation letter to Jehovah’s Witnesses a few days ago.

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2019:

Yeah, I bet it does feel good. Excellent move, keep it rolling boss. 8-)

Boo hoo, I tried, really I did.

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2019:

Sorry, bro. One thing, this way should cost you less money. Hang in there, partner.

"Will she still need me, will she still feed me ...? Today.

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2019:

You'll get over it next year, when you hit 65. Worked for me.

[politi.

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2019:

So let me get this straight, he likes the tax cut, more or less agrees with the tariffs, is in favor of tilting the judiciary as far right as possible, but simply thinks the talking yam is not civil enough? Mitt is no savior and will back the republican agenda lock , stock, and dildos,, including voting to acquit if it came to an impeachment trial in the senate. He should have stayed under his rock.

How about this bumper sticker campaign: 'DUMP TRUMP !'

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2019:

Short. It rhymes. Negative. No pizzazz. Worth considering.

America’s New Year’s Resolution: Remove Trump! Some Americans are becoming so accustomed to...

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2019:

Yeah, I'm OK with this. Let's not just talk about it, let's do it.

I had such high hopes for myself here.

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2019:

Engagement requires effort. Regardless of what anyone else does or doesn't do, exerting effort is completely under your control. Keep putting in the effort, you'll get where you want to be if you are persistent. Good luck partner.

I will just drop this here in this group. LOL

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2019:

Your big problem here is that a normal pinata is usually filled with candy and treats. Trump, on other hand....

Medical Marijuana has been proven to work for many types of pain.

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2018:

This has been known for a while. Here's my understanding. After prohibition ended (the prohibition of alcohol), we had a huge governmental organization - more than one actually - previously charged with tracking down and prosecuting booze, booze makers, booze distributors, and booze consumers. It was big money, the livelihood of a LOT of people. When that disappeared, pot became the new demon to exorcise, and it was a potent incentive to maintain the bureaucracies involved in enforcement, prosecution, and imprisonment. Money that big can buy votes, and so now here we are. Currently, however, the money that can be made from growing and selling legal pot is starting to eclipse the money on the other side, and that money can buy votes too. It's slowly turning around, but not because it's the right thing to happen. It's always been the right thing to happen. The difference now is that the money is there to support it politically. Like my dad taught me, if there's something you don't understand or can't figure out, the answer is usually money. That's my take on it, at least.

Wishing you peace, love, happiness and hope in 2019 and always.

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2018:

Aww, the very same to you, CK. 8-)

Do you or will you get the flu vaccine?

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2018:

I've been getting it every year for the past, I dunno, 40 years? Not sure when it first became widely available to the public at large, but not too long after that, I started getting it and I've done it ever since.

Hysterical! Hahaha!??

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2018:

You know what they say. There's always room for cello. ?

A clown and a prostitute walk into a bar........ You finish the joke.

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2018:

The clown says to the prostitute "I'll give you 100 bucks for a quick hum job out back." The prostitute says, "Sorry, I don't do clowns." "Why not?" the clown asks. The prostitute says, "Because they taste funny." You've been a great audience. I'll be here all week. Try the lobster. ?

What stick figures?

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2018:

Oh, like that's news.?

Change is good!

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2018:

I've been telling my bartenders to keep the change. I guess I've been doing it all wrong.

When you really think about it.....isn't blasphemy a victimless crime?

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

It's not a crime at all. How do people come up with this horseshit?

The wall is a scam.

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

Oh man, this is shocking. I am shocked.

The fuck????

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

Well, you run a soap dish against Obama, the trump voters still go this way. Because guess why? Take your time.

I just finished installing my tankless water heater.

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

That looks great! I put the new sticker on my license plate. I had to use a screwdriver to take the plate out of the frame to do it. That is the extent of my technical ability. I admire people who can do stuff like this, cuz I sure can't. Good job, KGY. This looks like it was a tankless job, too. 8-)

Getting ready to go to a Boy Scout Eagle Rank Award Ceremony inside a Baptist Church.

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

I went to two, one for each of my nephews, in a Moravian church. It'll work out. Eat the food, but sneak in some booze cuz there won't be any there. 8-)

Run 'Merica like a buisness he said. [cnn.com]

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

Nobody could have seen *this* coming, right? So much winning.

Looks like Sarah may be backing out of her resignation since she can't find a job in the private ...

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

Hmmm, has she considered applying to be Miss Piggy's body double for the next Muppet movie? That could work. From Russian puppet to second line Muppet. Hey, it's worth considering.

Just a thought on a Sunday morning: If, as 45 believes, the wall is so important for national ...

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

The government can't spend funds on anything congress hasn't appropriated the money for. If it was this simple, the talking yam would have done it long ago. It literally takes an act of congress.

I think Trump could contribute to his wall in a more personal manner, perhaps in an orange jump ...

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

Couldn't really be the talking yam. The poor guy who has his head photoshopped out looks like he knows what he's doing.

Dems responsible for illegals killing...

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

Rule of (tiny) thumb: Anything the orange primate accuses somebody else of being or doing, he is guilty of himself. In another dimension, he works as a projectionist.

Yes he should..he's so good at it..

zeuser comments on Dec 30, 2018:

I believe he has already used this tactic, among many others.

I JUST HATE THE ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!! I AM WATCHING ARI ON MSNBC AND HAVE JUST FINISHED A GREAT SUN ...

zeuser comments on Dec 29, 2018:

Be like Bruce Banner, stay angry.

Awoke this morning, always a plus for me, and a thought crossed my mind, (a second plus), any way, ...

zeuser comments on Dec 29, 2018:

Most religious people, IMO of course, don't *want* to be religious, it's just how they were raised or how they think they need to be to fit in with their religious peer group. They want to get to heaven, they don't want to go to hell, they want to deny the oblivion of actual death, and they have a number of neuroses based on all of these things. When some finally snap the fuck out of it, they experience a sense of profound relief, and they don't want to go back.

'Nude Selfie' Obtained In Mueller Inquiry, Says Court Filing By Indicted Russian Firm | HuffPost

zeuser comments on Dec 29, 2018:

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? Trump never had a garbanzo bean on his face. I'll be here all week. Tip your servers. Try the veal. 8-)

Let's roll! ?

zeuser comments on Dec 29, 2018:

This was my motto in my 20's. These days, it's just a pleasant memory.

Just for shits and giggles! Be the best Alien you Can be! ROFLOL

zeuser comments on Dec 29, 2018:

Oooh, that explains the anal probe. *ahem*

One of trumps buddies at again! He also went on stage with 2 ar15s saying the president should be ...

zeuser comments on Dec 29, 2018:

Nugent is a putz. Not really a reason to stop the presses, but it bears repeating every so often.

Dozer Dog is inside and says he is staying in as it is -9 Degrees outside! Dad and Dozer say stay ...

zeuser comments on Dec 29, 2018:

And cheese! Don't forget the cheese!!

Mueller appears to respond early in subpoena fight at Supreme Court By JOSH GERSTEIN 12/28/2018...

zeuser comments on Dec 29, 2018:

I betcha this is Deutsch Bank.

A bit edgy, but the truth if you reason it.

zeuser comments on Dec 29, 2018:

So if I follow, cunnilingus is an appetizer. (Just trying to keep the metaphor rolling, you know?)

TRUMP IMPEACHMENT IS ‘INESCAPABLE,’ SAYS WATERGATE JOURNALIST—PRESIDENT IS ‘OUT OF ...

zeuser comments on Dec 29, 2018:

This is some scary bullshit right here. An out of control president. I have been sleeping fitfully these days.