I wanna communicate my feelings

zeuser comments on Aug 14, 2023:

It's a cheeky group, but still....

How could he? Totally inappropriate in the MeToo days.

zeuser comments on Aug 14, 2023:

Out of curiosity, is her name Wilma? Or, um, Betty?

He missed the vacuum cleaner

zeuser comments on Aug 14, 2023:

Awwww. I totally get it.

“I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact”……………..Elon Musk

zeuser comments on Aug 13, 2023:

As long as you're on Mars for the rest of your life, who cares when you die?

But you can’t touch his hair!!!

zeuser comments on Aug 12, 2023:

He's the joker all right. Will be wild!

My god. Have you been to a gas station lately?

zeuser comments on Aug 11, 2023:

Yeah, but you can at least negotiate price with one of them.

I found this offer

zeuser comments on Aug 9, 2023:

That's a lot of bull!

Well, that leaves me out. lol

zeuser comments on Jun 1, 2023:

Darn, now I have to quit the mariachi band to get service?

“To succeed in the world, it is much more necessary to possess the ability to to discern who is a...

zeuser comments on Jun 1, 2023:

People who think themselves clever are often fools, starting with fooling themselves.

Sorry, mate, my socialization battery has a low capacity and takes ages to charge. 😝

zeuser comments on May 31, 2023:

I would make exceptions if the contact comes in a bar somewhere, or alternatively, if there is alcohol available.

Men have misunderstood all along

zeuser comments on May 31, 2023:

Yeah, I've run into this before.

The recent widow is on trial for beating her guitar-playing husband to death.

zeuser comments on May 30, 2023:

No need to fret about it, pick your story, say that you turned yourself in of your own A chord.

He had a HUGE TURNOUT in NYC (sarcasm) for his arraignment!! Only a handful at the courthouse as ...

zeuser comments on May 30, 2023:

Count Narcissus here is the master of the "I'm rubber and you're glue" defense, instantly shifting to projection and gaslighting. If he says he didn't do it, he did. If he says you did it, he did it. And if he claims he did it, he didn't. That's a simple way to decode his rants.

As many of you know, i grew up in the swamps of southwest Louisiana, Cajun Country.

zeuser comments on May 30, 2023:

Up in Scranton PA, my old stomping grounds, there is a similar set of phrases and neologisms with creative pronunciations. ;) 1. Coun-y You live in Lackawanna or Luzerne coun-y? 2. Couple two-tree Can I get a couple two-tree slices of bread? 3. Tamayda I’ll have a BLT with extra tamayda. 4. Youse Youse guys going to the baseball game tonight? 5. Prolly I’ll prolly go there after I’m done running errands. 6. Sammich if I don’t get my sammich in a second I’m going to flip. 7. Spelt I got out of the speeding ticket cuz the cop spelt my name wrong. 8. Hawdogs I need to get my fix of Abe’s hawdogs. 9. Heyna or no? Philadelphia is going all the way this year! Heyna or no? 10. Nannycoke I grew up just outside Wilkes-Barre in Nannycoke.

Been busy! Hope you all are having a great weekend!

zeuser comments on May 29, 2023:

I've had to pick up some key phrases in assholian just to get through the day. 😜

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting ...

zeuser comments on May 28, 2023:

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Of course, heaven is a myth. 😉

Earlier this week I had to go into the hospital for an overnight stay for an invasive procedure that...

zeuser comments on May 28, 2023:

The things we can overlook for a little trim. Good move, IMHO. ;) Hope everything works/worked out for you and that you will be/are on the mend.

What's your guess as to who is going to revive him?

zeuser comments on May 28, 2023:

Way before he revives, he will certainly "stand up".

I attended prom… The DJ played the Cha-Cha Slide, and I did the Cha-Cha Slide.

zeuser comments on May 28, 2023:

How did Eileen, um, take it?

It is all bullshit.

zeuser comments on May 28, 2023:

Your vagina drops, eh? I was thinking something like Visine for the hoohah, Vagine for example, before I figured out what you meant. A whimsical way to refer to your next generation, and it did make me chuckle, probably as much as your v drops did. As for non-Baptists all burning in hell, well, I'll probably continue to take my chances. LOL

I read that Ed Ames died on Saturday at age 95.

zeuser comments on May 28, 2023:

Once a year they used to put out a "Best of the Tonight Show" and play clips from past shows. This one always made it to the final lineup. Back then, cultural appropriation was only known to the specific groups whose culture was appropriated, everybody else thought it was just A-OK. It was a different era. These days, we just have open hostility towards and naked oppression of any people of color. That said, I loved Mingo, he was always a step or two ahead of Dan'l.

Let the truth be told...

zeuser comments on May 28, 2023:

Looking for it is half the fun.

Things are now turning nasty in Texa$$$ with Rethuglicans now turning against each other: [bbc.

zeuser comments on May 28, 2023:

Sweet! I love it when they self-immolate like this.

Your tax dollars not at work

zeuser comments on May 28, 2023:

In other states, they don't announce it, they just do it.

Whoever made this is an evil genius...

zeuser comments on May 28, 2023:

Fuck, my eyes!

Fascist Oath Keepers’ Leader Stewart Rhodes Gets 18 Years for ‘Seditious Conspiracy’ Oath ...

zeuser comments on May 27, 2023:

One more delusional but persuasive putz off the streets. We have a couple more to go.

A lie has speed, but truth has endurance.

zeuser comments on May 27, 2023:

The truth may endure, but if nobody does anything about it, justice suffers.

Been there, done that...

zeuser comments on May 27, 2023:

That is solvable, boss.

Oath Keepers leader Stewart Rhodes sentenced to 18 years for Capitol riot: [bbc.com]

zeuser comments on May 25, 2023:

Good.

Parts Unknown - Boris Johnson

zeuser comments on May 25, 2023:

Taking the long view in a short term situation. Never works like you want.

Nature lovers' choice

zeuser comments on May 25, 2023:

Everybody must get stoned.

[cnn.com] Tina Turner dead at 83. Rest in power, Tina :'(

zeuser comments on May 25, 2023:

Sorry to see her pass. We all face that final stop sooner or later.

Hear me out, Toilet Taxi!

zeuser comments on May 24, 2023:

These guys think there is a market there? I can't imagine what kind of insurance they'd need.

And both are lots of fun...

zeuser comments on May 23, 2023:

Shit, I'd have to go to church to see if this is true, and that ain't gonna happen.

that sounds nasty.

zeuser comments on May 23, 2023:

You want to scratch, but the itch never goes away.

If you're already in a hole, maybe stop digging...I obviously hope he doesn't

zeuser comments on May 23, 2023:

Can't help himself. He is used to just lying and waiting for MAGA moron applause.

From almost a decade ago. Today it would be worth more than twice as much.

zeuser comments on May 22, 2023:

Yeah, but what did he do with that 800 bucks?

I am in the survey

zeuser comments on May 22, 2023:

Just one?

Unhealthy Obsession

zeuser comments on May 22, 2023:

At least he isn't stalking some actress or singer. Um, I hope.

I met a stripper named Chasity once.... I called her Irony....

zeuser comments on May 22, 2023:

A buck is a buck.

Republicans Moving on From Book Banning to Jailing Librarians The Washington Post reports that ...

zeuser comments on May 21, 2023:

You nailed it, Johnny.

Summer is here, goin to the beach?

zeuser comments on May 20, 2023:

WTF!?!

Republican Sen. Tim Scott files to run for president in 2024 | Fox News

zeuser comments on May 19, 2023:

Well, he fooled them in SC, but they are known to elect sufficiently right-winged minorities there (I'm lookin' at you Nikki). This won't fly with your flyover state republicans, fer sure.

My eyes, my eyes!

zeuser comments on May 19, 2023:

Yuck. I bet I know which one tried to slip in a little tongue.

[bbc.

zeuser comments on May 19, 2023:

I used to go to a great Mexican restaurant in Denver in a former church. That was a while ago. First time I had posole. I forget the name, but I think it was on Vallejo Street in northwest Denver.

"A hotdog at the ball park is better than a steak at the Ritz." Humphrey Bogart.

zeuser comments on May 19, 2023:

A hot dog at a ballpark today costs as much as Bogie used to pay for a steak at the Ritz. More if you get a beer to go with it.

Writers Who Took Book Dedications To Another Level (actually 35 of them) [thelanguagenerds.com]

zeuser comments on May 18, 2023:

Those are great!

Trump Says He Deserves Credit for Every State Abortion Ban

zeuser comments on May 18, 2023:

Works for me. When your enemy is making a mistake, let him.

Ron DeSantis finally gets what he deserves in stunning development [youtube.

zeuser comments on May 18, 2023:

I'm waiting to see how this is all Biden's fault.

A Russian man walks through the streets of Moscow.

zeuser comments on May 17, 2023:

Occupational hazard, I guess.

'Laughing fool' Trump was a joke to foreign leaders – according to his own former national ...

zeuser comments on May 17, 2023:

Bolton is a warmongering neocon asshole, but as they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Senate GOP Covid origins probe finds circumstantial evidence but no ‘smoking gun’ to support lab...

zeuser comments on May 17, 2023:

What, did the whistleblower "disappear" again?

Ron DeSantis is sending Florida law enforcement and National Guard members to the Texas border ...

zeuser comments on May 16, 2023:

I'm surprised the other Nazi governor, Abbott, is letting him get away with it.

Talk about a complete waste of money and time

zeuser comments on May 16, 2023:

Six and a half million for this walrus faced douchebag to discover absolutely nothing, and produce a propaganda document on top of it. 😡

Baby Daddy don't come back?

zeuser comments on May 16, 2023:

You gotta know your audience. That's the first rule of marketing, and for writing in general.

Rudy's Greatest Hits

zeuser comments on May 16, 2023:

A corrupt toolbag of a man. A parody of a competent lawyer, and a cautionary tale for what happens when a flawed idiot gets any sort of power.

He's right that Trump is a criminal. He's wrong that Trump is in any way competent at it.

zeuser comments on May 16, 2023:

"Hair fuhrer" IS a mafia-like crime boss, no question about it. But he's a shitty one.

Bicyclist brings white supremacists low with skilled heckling [youtube.

zeuser comments on May 16, 2023:

I LOVE this guy! WAAAHAHAHAHA

I'm fine with her strip-searching me too...

zeuser comments on May 16, 2023:

Nope, I don't care how good one of them may look.

Chemistry with Samuel L.

zeuser comments on May 16, 2023:

Elementary!

I'd have that same look on my face if that shit for brains was my mother

zeuser comments on May 15, 2023:

How long before one of these devil spawn pull a gun on someone for winning a game of checkers?

Sitting here batteling a single fly.

zeuser comments on May 15, 2023:

I've got 3 swatters within reach in various places in the house and one on the porch. all in plain view. I had a terrier named Chopper, now 13 years gone, who would come and get me when there was a fly in the house and follow it around, barking at me, until we both tracked it down and killed it. Not in my house, insect.

If you drive east out of Wilcox PA (population 350) to to top of a mountain ridge, you might be ...

zeuser comments on May 15, 2023:

The symbol is a monogram for Jesus, a contraction for how you spell it in Greek but with a Latin alphabet.

He is sure but I am not.

zeuser comments on May 15, 2023:

This is a puzzle for woodchucks. Is the truck going to or coming from the wood chucking contest?

Touche!...

zeuser comments on May 14, 2023:

Good one, Joe!

Take your pick

zeuser comments on May 14, 2023:

Yup.

Time to take the gloves off.

zeuser comments on May 14, 2023:

I'm in.

New Florida Law Allows Providers To Deny People Healthcare Based On ‘Moral Objections’ ...

zeuser comments on May 14, 2023:

He's always been a twat, but what about all those folks who voted him in in a frigging landslide.

Apparently an all-in-one stop.

zeuser comments on May 14, 2023:

Oh, and do you have any laudunum back there?

It's time to go out and flaunt

zeuser comments on May 14, 2023:

Looks like one of my tinder dates.

That's one way to do it. lol

zeuser comments on May 14, 2023:

I don't know if I'd be down with ripping off my own Johnson. But the "growing a new one back" part is intriguing. LOL

Most people 🦇🦇🦇🦇🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

zeuser comments on May 14, 2023:

You've been working hard, here! On a serious note, this is why you should never get your nails done in Rome. ;) Good bunch!

I just want everyone to be clear

zeuser comments on May 13, 2023:

Me too, boss. 😏

It might have been a sales call.

zeuser comments on May 13, 2023:

Lordy there are some dumb ones out there.

So I read in the news today that Putin is building a village near Moscow for American and Canadian ...

zeuser comments on May 13, 2023:

Take the frigging SCOTUS and the "Freedom" Caucus with you!

How's it end?

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

I think he'll run. Like a coward. Like an emasculated bully.

You won't hear this on Fox News

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

To the surprise of absolutely no one...

A man was getting a haircut prior to taking a trip to Rome.

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

Good one!

A spinney of experience is worth more than a forest of advice. James Russell Lowell.

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

Experience is something you get about 5 minutes after you needed it.

I will say one thing for the town hall, it gave Trump the opportunity to incriminate himself ...

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

I keep hearing various analysts say what a mess he is making for himself and how he is actually confessing to criminal behavior in public, but he is still walking around, a free man. It is infuriating and discouraging at the same time.

Orgy or funeral, anyone?

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

Food trucks at an orgy, where eating out has never been more satisfying. 😜

Predictably enough Turdy McTurdface has filed an appeal against the $5m verdict: [bbc.com]

zeuser comments on May 12, 2023:

Of course he did. His own lawyers are predicting the appeal isn't even going to be heard.

No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and ...

zeuser comments on May 11, 2023:

At least we are giving the nazis amongst us an opportunity to self-identify, and they sure are taking advantage of that opportunity.

English can be confusing.

zeuser comments on May 11, 2023:

For the camel, only on hump day. ;)

I wonder! About once a year I buy the newest "non-stick" frying pan.

zeuser comments on May 11, 2023:

Same thing happens with the stone or ceramic coated pans. Things are non stick for while, but slowly they deteriorate to very sticky. Cast iron always performs the same.

I was going to ignore the CNN town hall featuring one orange convicted sex assault criminal tonight,...

zeuser comments on May 10, 2023:

OK, I watched a couple of clips from this shitshow. I can't conceive of willingly watching more. Sorry for wasting y'alls time.

Brits are rather good at this. 😆

zeuser comments on May 10, 2023:

Hell, I do it too, and there is no way you can mistake me for a brit.

Very unlikely but

zeuser comments on May 9, 2023:

What I need are more people in my life who can use their imaginations.

Trump found liable in the E. Jean Carroll case!!! 5 mil in damages!!!

zeuser comments on May 9, 2023:

All good, and congratulations to Ms. Carroll, BUT: He will appeal. This will take at least 2 years. This is a civil case, so there will be no incarceration. He'll never pay one single dime. But yay.

Also good he was sedated

zeuser comments on May 9, 2023:

Oh, and thanks for your kidneys.

If True, this gets me excited!

zeuser comments on May 9, 2023:

Ouch! 😜😄

Trump rape trial: jury to hear closing arguments in E Jean Carroll lawsuit | Donald Trump | The ...

zeuser comments on May 8, 2023:

He's been sick for a while now.

No, thank you

zeuser comments on May 8, 2023:

You got any 11 foot poles?

Obstructionist regressive christofascists republican maga death cult reasoning!!!

zeuser comments on May 7, 2023:

The next non-cynical unhypocritical thing Cruz says will be the first non- cynical unhypocritical thing Cruz says. What a traitorous bigoted goon. 😠

They don't know what a genius is

zeuser comments on May 7, 2023:

In the "unclear on the concept division", this is a blue ribbon winner fer sure.

It's been an emotionally and mentally stressful week! Hope you all are having a great Saturday!

zeuser comments on May 7, 2023:

They made the weekend to let you unwind and release the stress. 💜😊

Not to brag about it...

zeuser comments on May 6, 2023:

Gonna need the industrial size mustard for that puppy.

Over domesticating cats is a problem.

zeuser comments on May 4, 2023:

They go straight to the pussy pics.

Finally some good news!

zeuser comments on May 4, 2023:

I'll take any good news involving losses for that asswipe.

Gas is expensive, so Rebecca decided to take the bus from today.

zeuser comments on May 4, 2023:

Well that sucks.