Yep Susan Collins called 911 for someone politely asking her to do her job and fix the mess she ...

zeuser comments on May 11, 2022:

She's a fucking republican pretending she is different than all the other yahoos in that party. She is not different.

She's just upset because they know where she lives.

zeuser comments on May 11, 2022:

She's a fucking republican pretending she is different than all the other yahoos in that party. She is not different.

Wednesday! 😂😂😂

zeuser comments on May 11, 2022:

Waldo's in a bit of pickle there, isn't he? LOL

Do you fear this?

zeuser comments on May 11, 2022:

Assault with battery.

BACKLASH People are getting really pissed off at the Repugs and their antics.

zeuser comments on May 10, 2022:

OK, that got my dander up! We all need a pragmatic pep talk now, I think.

Never, ever ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.

zeuser comments on May 10, 2022:

So *then* you ask yourself, "Where exactly do I fit in here? "

And suffer shitty consequences, too. 😅

zeuser comments on May 10, 2022:

Me too. It always winds up like that, so why fight it? 😉

Not the usual fast food.

zeuser comments on May 10, 2022:

Haggis McNuggets, anyone?

This is for sure the last time until next time.

zeuser comments on May 10, 2022:

It's nice to be recognized.

This new generation

zeuser comments on May 10, 2022:

He could hit the deep, deep notes all right! 🤣

U had 2 ask....

zeuser comments on May 10, 2022:

Well, if you turn its knob the wrong way with cold hands....

Another fucked up Monday!!!! 😂😂😂

zeuser comments on May 10, 2022:

Where can I get a subscription to Shat?

If it is the second or third, please contact me.

zeuser comments on May 10, 2022:

I love short stories.

Budget bondage.

zeuser comments on May 9, 2022:

Choke the turtle, choke the turtle!

Trump has lawsuit against Twitter tossed out for failure to meet his burden of evidence.

zeuser comments on May 9, 2022:

He sues reflexively because he can afford it and it makes him feel like he is satisfying his lust for vindictiveness in the short run. His attention span is so short, he generally forgets the lawsuits he initiates, unless it's to prolong and delay the lawsuit to drain the resources of whomever he chooses to sue. He is also an ignorant, narcissistic, sociopathic prick, which maybe has nothing to do with the twitter lawsuit, but which I also enjoy saying as much as possible.

“Capitalism was the only system in history where wealth was not acquired by looting but by ...

zeuser comments on May 9, 2022:

Seriously?

He is saying somethin

zeuser comments on May 9, 2022:

Sounds like a line from an HDS movie!

And so it begins.....

zeuser comments on May 9, 2022:

Unless he later decides he likes it better walking on the wild side.

Some morning's....

zeuser comments on May 9, 2022:

Just today, in fact.

Ted Cruz spreads 'left-wing law clerk' conspiracy following leak of Supreme Court draft seemingly ...

zeuser comments on May 8, 2022:

If moldy smegma was a person....

Not sure if he's right about this, he himself is an example of someone who is intelligent and ...

zeuser comments on May 8, 2022:

I guess spending 8 years in a Siberian gulag can make you a little prickly no matter how educated you are. I think his point stands in spite of his personal demeanor.

“I’ll be darned.

zeuser comments on May 8, 2022:

Harry didn't take any shit from anybody.

Little boy’s mission is to keep mom on her toes.😉

zeuser comments on May 8, 2022:

Happy mother's day, Calvin's mom. :)

Something every parent should know!!!!

zeuser comments on May 8, 2022:

But you can save some time if you wash them both at once. ;)

Like, no shit!

zeuser comments on May 8, 2022:

Next lesson, cracking an egg.

Trying to teach diplomacy (FAIL) While chatting with my buddy Paddy, I suggested he be a little ...

zeuser comments on May 8, 2022:

Paddy's next whiskey is on me.

You have a choice

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

Once again I am in the forefront!

Been there?

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

Don't forget where this all starts.

Ted Cruz Declares To The Nation, “I’m Not A Moron.

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

Republicans have a way of telling you the truth by telling you the opposite. I am not a crook. - Nixon I am a stable genius. - Talking Yam Read my lips, no new taxes. GHW Bush I am not a moron. Rafael Cruz

Naughty is in the eyes of the beholder

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

Shouldn't it be illegal to encourage....tailgating like that?

Don't overdose please

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

You can fertilize at the same time.

Greeting cards is a ridiculous idea

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

The ultimate gift card. 🎁

Oh. Now I get it.

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

Time for the hawk to make some perspectively large bunny fazoo. LOL

[vm.

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

Love is blind. Lust, on the other hand, is a completely different story. ;)

Excuse me, but did Anthony Fauci tell us about this?

zeuser comments on May 7, 2022:

I need some configuration details here.

Red state girl, she's been living in her red state world.

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

Maybe I'm not marketing it correctly, but that's not how it works in my case.

Poorly describe what you do/used to do for a living. 😆

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

Kept track of all the ways to say stuff that everyone in the company had to use.

I could almost believe it.

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

That wasn't god, that was the whole world talking at once, you decrepit, ignorant, hateful old butthole.

Sitting in bed w coffee and boys and contemplating my stupidity along w other things .

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

You can only help someone so much before they have to take care of their own selves. Don't doubt your instincts to help, but be aware that some will take you for a ride. Sounds like Rita came under a bad influence when she was very vulnerable. You shouldn't judge, but neither should you enable. And when you say you are not nice, I for one don't believe you. ❤

Our county fair has lots to do

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

WT actual F!?!

Not creepy at all...

zeuser comments on May 6, 2022:

When your tinder date has kids...

Who the hell is your dealer?

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

I dunno. You get what you pay for.

More on bananas and monkeys -

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

I stay away from bananas, so by that metric, monkeys need not fear I will consume them. Hah!

She is differently abled

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

I get this. Plus, consider that "crazy" is commonly just a value judgment.

Trump says he took widely-mocked cognitive test because people kept calling him stupid! ...

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

That didn't go quite as well as he thought it did, did it?

Happy Drunko de Mayo!

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

The cat will always rat you out.

Heads up, I will be out next week for training

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

Wow, you could also crack a couple of walnuts with THAT equipment!

It is now clear that Putin the Putrid will not have Ukraine by May 9.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

You think he keeps a running total? I doubt it.

Living the dream requires surviving the occasional nightmare. ...........paraphrasing @hippydog.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

You need the bad to fully appreciate the good.

Jokes on you... Eh Abbott..... [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

Isn't it illegal for states to conduct anything resembling negotiations with foreign countries? What am I missing?

Goodnight!!!!! 🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

Hah! I bet Frankie is ecstatic!

I broke up with a girl once because she was having hallucinations.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

You can't fix crazy, you know?

Very informative

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

Should be required reading. Also, there ought to be some reference to vasectomies. That's one sure way to be able to blast it on the inside with no abortion needed afterwards.

One more reason why I love Egyptian mythology.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

Ya know, it's not too late for a revival of the old ways. I can host. ;)

Before google there was Mr. Britannica.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2022:

I always like Calvin's dad's approach. LOL

No prescription needed

zeuser comments on May 4, 2022:

Looks like a great stocking stuffer.

Confession Guidance

zeuser comments on May 4, 2022:

When I was 14, spanking the monkey was pretty much an identity issue for me. When they made a big deal about it in the booth, that's when I stopped going to confession, and my spiral into atheism began!

Beer sounds better than hear... Lol

zeuser comments on May 4, 2022:

While your up, some peanuts would be ni..WHAM

For everyone that says the president doesn't matter

zeuser comments on May 4, 2022:

Well all you Bernie voting sore losers who wanted to teach the democrats a lesson when Hilary was nominated (which was admittedly a shady political theft) by not voting for anybody, you sure showed us! That taught us a lesson all right! Grrrr.

I'm broad minded but this may be a too fruity for some! :-D

zeuser comments on May 4, 2022:

Wait until the one on top spills its seed.

Inventive scrawl

zeuser comments on May 3, 2022:

Oldie but goodie.

Ugh!!!! The day I had!!!!! ...

zeuser comments on May 3, 2022:

Nice! 😜

Good Monday Morning!

zeuser comments on May 2, 2022:

I might wanna get me some of those jebus butt plugs for xmas presents to give to my religious buddies. LOL

Can you feel his pain?

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Are you in the right place at the right time with the *right size* like the bicycle is? Are you?!?

Dater beware

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

When you said this was going to be a surprise party, you should have said what kind of surprise!

Damn it, jammed again! (Does this potato masher look like Trump to you? 😆)

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

The long spatula give the masher a high five. ;)

Happy Sunday!!!

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

DickDash, har har har. :)

Remember, signs are here to help you

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

I'd rather have redundant signage than no signage at all.

Ain't Physics grand?

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

AS Woody told Buzz Lightyear, you're not flying, you're just falling...with style.

chiv·al·ry /ˈSHivəlrē/ noun the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and ...

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Calvin is SUCH a butthole.

Don't believe stories you are told

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Depends which Goliath you are talking about.

The unacceptable face of Russia.....supercilious looking smug bastard!

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

If dick cheese was a person....

“Your habitually unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer them up, because that means they ...

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

I know people who aren't happy unless they are miserable.

Happy Saturday!!! 😂🤗😂🤗😂😂

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Nicely done!

Size does matter

zeuser comments on May 1, 2022:

Why I oughta....

“Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is to know when ...

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2022:

Easy to say, hard to do.

"You will observe with concern how long a useful truth may be known, and exist, before it is ...

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2022:

Even when proven wrong, people will fiercely defend beliefs they hold in the face of compelling evidence to the contrary. It is infuriating, and it is the cause of countless arguments between kids and their parents, progressives and conservatives, atheists and professed believers, and husbands and wives.

When that happens

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

Lemme have some of those green jelly beans.

New study on Omicron immunity. I tested positive for COVID-19.

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

Take care of yourself, hon. I had covid in February. If I hadn't been vaxed, I am certain it would have killed me. Got the second booster at the start of this month. With any luck, that's the last I'll see of it. Get well soon. 💜

what the hell is wrong with you!?

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

*pinching the bridge of my nose and tightly closing my eyes*

Deposition Transcript Reveals Trump Fear Of Flying Fruit [youtube.

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2022:

Dangerous fruit, eh?

Good morning!!! Another meme dump!!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2022:

What kind of music do they play?

I hope he keeps trying to make that Truth Social shit show work instead

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

Is this asshole back already?

Now I can't unsee it. 😆 (What is the rabbit doing there, btw?)

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

Rabbit are pretty randy, and well, this guy does have an armful of pussies.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is back on the hot seat, falsely testifying again...

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

She should be in jail. If she pulled that shit in Russia, she would be, or she would be murdered.

I will wait

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2022:

Good opportunity to work on your long distance accuracy.

oh looks cool

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2022:

Sperm bank?

And that was the day she decided she didn't want to live in the sticks anymore.

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2022:

It's a good idea regardless, you know?

My kind of diet food...

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2022:

This guy has marketing in his or her blood.

The car yes

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

I don't think Mopar is set up for that.

Who remembers the “Double Dog Dare”?

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

Priorities. The kid is a leader.

No starch...

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

No starch, thanks.

Always wanted a garage....

zeuser comments on Apr 24, 2022:

Nice to see drive-ins making a comeback.

Legitimate political discourse lynching

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

They would have killed his ass for all the wrong reasons. That isn't justice, unfortunately, that's just murder.

It happens

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

The older you get, the more it's "I came earlier than they said, I saw, I took off."

Near the core of religious experience is something remarkably resistant to rational inquiry.

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

Well yeah, by definition.

I'm not sure about that.

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

Um, I think we might still have a pretty good idea.

Sooo much Winning..😂😂😂 [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

She'll never see a dime.

Spot the difference

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

Two very different "hide the kielbasa" challenges.

Tombstone Special

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2022:

We only live on in the memory of people who don't forget us after we expire. Once those people all die, it's a question of what other people can read on a tombstone.