Looks like they've made some improvement at the entrance of Big T-urd Arizona rally

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2022:

Shit seems to be flowing in the wrong direction.

Overheard on television this week: Q: What do you call the condition where a person has trouble ...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2022:

When we get to that part of the transaction, whatever you want to do with it is up to you. I've played my part. LOL

Or two even...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2022:

Well, they wouldn't let my pack mule into the store.

Federal prosecutors have charged more than 700 people in more than 45 states with participating in ...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2022:

Traitorous assholes on parade. A cavalcade of drooling seditionists. A jerkoff jamboree.

Anyone use the nextdoor app or website?

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2022:

It's pretty benign where I am. Lots of pictures of local wildlife, people looking to pick up odd jobs or housecleaning gigs, things for sale, discussion of local loud noises, helicopters, traffic jams, and the occasional heartwarming story of someone who was in trouble but a neighbor helped them out. Good way to keep up with new restaurants. Very rarely do I see any overtly religious proselytizing, though it does happen. I guess it varies by where you live. I just looked - today the top 3 were 46 new things for sale, a story about 2 dogs that got hit by a car in Garner, and a question about a reported bomb threat in Apex. YMMV I guess.

He looks vaguely familiar

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2022:

'ello, ducks, remember me? *knots together a couple of pillow cases*

“Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really ...

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2022:

Yes, it tends to piss a lot of people off. *snicker*

For those scammers that keep coming here....

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

The "statue" of limitations, as it were. LOL

Biblical smell test.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

One woman and one woman is also wrong, by this measure. What would someone even do with 700 wives and 300 concubines? *shudders*

Far too great a laugh over this -

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Let's not make fun of what is essentially an inherited condition. Yeah, it runs in your jeans.

"Nothing is often a good thing to do, and always a clever thing to say.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Doing nothing is always an option. Saying nothing is always an option. Sometimes, these are the best options, other times not. The "often" and "always" qualifiers are value judgments that mess up what would have been a true, but banal, assertion.

There goes lunch

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Free range chicken, cajun free.

Trickle down obsequiousness

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Dickus -a -um.

Did as instructed

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Picture of John Denver? That should be ok.

A strange time to make a call.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

That's a shitty neighborhood.

You are invited. Turmeric bath for brides and grooms is a must in a Hindu marriage ceremony.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

I hear it spices up the relationship. It is just one component of trying to curry favor.

size don't matter?

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

This is NOT how wishful thinking usually works out.

I really hope this vermin dies [queerty.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Embarrassingly, he fat-shamed himself to deflect.

Ark Encounter Adds Baptimal Log Flume Ride!

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Good satire.

Yep……how true it is.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Fuck, really?!

I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible. Because I am an eighth theist.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2022:

Mmmmm, ok, ok.

Just a few pieces of hard evidence, is that so much to ask for in exchange for believing the Xstian ...

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2022:

Well, to be fair, selling fake foreskins was a very lucrative side hustle for "the Christ". He made quite a few dinars pushing his "messiah skins" to unsuspecting Samaritans, who were very gullible about shit like this, When we think about Judas and the thirty "pieces" of silver, we have to wonder, what were those "pieces", exactly? Spoiler: It was Judas taking over the franchise. Eventually, though, Judas, much like Jeffrey Epstein, was "found hanged". Ya hum. Sure. Follow the smegma!

The net is slowly closing in on Team Trump: [abc.net.au]

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2022:

Twenty years is a light sentence, IMHO. Still, let them all go in and learn how to barter for a cake of soap.

King of the Trumpanzees.

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2022:

Hannity is an apparatachik putz. Joseph Goebbels without the accent and slightly better skin.

WOW!!!! Lol!!! 😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2022:

I doubt that.

Trump Roasts ‘Gutless’ DeSantis for Keeping His Booster Status a Secret [thedailybeast.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

Wow, two stiff swingin dicks "swordfighting".

Explains everything.

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

Switch to the mini-usb. It might help a little.

OMCHEEZUS!!!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

Looks like the poor kid took a dominus right up his vobiscum.

Eyes glued to smartphones.

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

I'd come back with my gear for that trout. Before the damn eagle gets him. ;)

This has got to be a joke but it seems real [dissentpins.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

Gotta love that entrepreneurial spirit.

"There's none so blind as those who will not see" John Heywood (1497 - 1580 ) I was prompted to ...

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. - often attributed to Mark Twain.

True love right there.

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2022:

This is backwards. The wrong guy is taking it up the arse.

Now that's funny.

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

You gotta be careful who you tell to "make it so".

Catholic logic!

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

OTOH, dogs rarely implicate you, although they do, um, squeal.

He's so upset

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

The truth hurts, especially if you are a traitorous asswipe bent on destroying the American republic, and then someone simply points it the fuck out. Ouch, am I right? Fuckwad?

It’s now called a “cult”.

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

Yeah, that's about right. In the pre-loony tune world that you-know-who ushered in, I knew some republicans that I actually liked. I miss 'em.

"Oh.

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

I think this idea has legs. Here in NC, though, I could see some redhat violence if you tried to enforce it, plus we don't have any kind of legal pot here, medicinal or otherwise. Now if we could go ahead and legalize the bud here first and THEN institute the restrictions....nah, there'd still be some shootin'. Plus this would be a boon for the moonshiners.

What if teacher said what she really thought....

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

Yeah, I am personally torn between wanting grandchildren and the whole apocalyptic situation we are stumbling through. I'm glad I had kids when I did, at least they are here to help now that they are competent adults. Not sure I'd want my descendant young ones born into this shitstorm.

This would be why I contact businesses via email.

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2022:

Live chat is the way to go. I generally write what I want to say beforehand and keep the file open in front of me so I can cut and paste into the chat screen. I usually have other info in the file too - product name, customer number, stuff like that. I am sooo disappointed when I prep like that and I get "chat not available at this time". But I save the file and try again the next day.

A Man Notices his Co-Worker Wearing an Earring One Day A man is at work one day when he notices ...

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2022:

You don't sell the lie, you have to BE the lie.

Never stopped, never will. irresistible. 😆

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2022:

You are only young once, but you can be immature forever!

You guessed?

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2022:

Uh oh, door jamb.

Now that explains a lot

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2022:

Small and evidently hyper-sensitive. Yeah, that rings a bell.

Adam's Tinder profile.

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2022:

What, the sheep aren't good enough for you? Already? You'll be sooooooorrrrrrryyyyy.

Lucy in the sky...

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2022:

Don't be selfish, hon. Spread it around. LOL

Allergies!!! Ugh!!!! Lol

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2022:

Those breathe-rite strips help a lot. But no matter how comfy and warm you are otherwise, sometimes you just have to sit up, get out from under the covers and clear the sinuses.

yep that's about right

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2022:

My grandparents got in because they needed people to work in the fucking mines. Everything was just hunky dory til we figured out we could unionize. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Seriously! Lol

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2022:

I set a challenge for myself sometimes to listen in on as many different conversations as I can when I am at the bar by myself. You'd be surprised what people say, although a lot of it is really stupid shit like the meme says.

Finally two good conservatives... Make Love, not Masks

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2022:

Of course you must agree to be sexually objectified to effectively protest like this. My issue is that nobody in their right mind would want to sexually objectify me, so I gotta wear a mask. LOL

Hi dear agnostic friends.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2022:

Welcome aboard. Just jump in and hang on. :)

Now that is a loyal friend lol.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2022:

I'm in. It can room with my karate monkey.

What a joke!

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2022:

Did they have adult diapers and adderall back then? Spray tan? LOL

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day,.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2022:

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. But set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. -- Harry Dresden (as written by Jim Butcher)

I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and nods when I nod, my shadow does that much ...

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2022:

Maybe just one. ;)

What would Aristotle say?

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2022:

MGGA!

I will be now called this?

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2022:

It depends on how you feel about the inevitable connotations.

Now that is some skeleton logic.

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2022:

Looks like he's about to bone her, if he can get her outta that joint. ;)

If only it was true

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2022:

Excellent. Might need to double flush, just a tip.

Maybe, just maybe, the investigation will strike paydirt before Trump runs out the clock: ...

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2022:

A lot is riding on this.

Too true.

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2022:

Sometimes your mood just sags.

A little help...Please!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2022:

Will do.

You're no fun! Lol

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2022:

Ok ok, how about adderall?

Competitive? Me?

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2022:

Good idea to play a board game with any potential partner to see just exactly how crazy she or he actually is. This right here is "Would you look at the time?" and then "ghost like Hoffa" material.

When I cook! Lol

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2022:

Someone watching me add another chopped jalapeno including seeds: Um, I think that's probably hot enough. Me, considering: Hand me that can of RoTel tomatoes, would you?

Not much of a surprise.

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2022:

CSI tech: We got a print, but it's a little confusing. CSI detective: Why is that? CSI tech: It looks like, wait a minute, yes, it looks like a dick print. CSI detective: Let's go get an arrest warrant.

Washington State is split in two after massive snowstorm.

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2022:

Ouch. Keep yourself safe, Lit.

I am going to start a new university.

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2022:

When you get your master's degree, instead of a diploma they give you a collar.

As a Canadian with a marijuana grow license, I approve this message.

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2022:

Try doing it five minutes after 4:20, or 1:05 if you did the math first. LOL

So much division in the world and so easy to fall into the hate trap.

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2022:

I wish I had that kind of control. No, I have disengaged with most people who have been radicalized. The ones I deal with knowing that they are radicalized, we've each learned to keep politics out of the conversation. I will state my views if pressed, but I will not argue about them, and if I am attacked, I withdraw. You can't be reasonable with people who are completely unreasonable, when verifiable facts are ridiculed and propaganda/mythology is actively (and loudly) promoted.

Dating tip? lol

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2022:

If it works, hell yeah. Hey, the dude is all about gadgets, this is SO on brand. LOL

‘90 Day Fiancé’ star retires from selling farts after heart attack scare [nypost.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2022:

Farts in a bottle for money? Seriously? Free the methane. Because, you know for the rest of us, methane is pretty much free.

Worst game ever

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2022:

Not a game. Nope, not at all.

I lost count at 20…

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2022:

16. Should still be enough to go to hell, right? I paid extra for the aisle seat on the sulfur express.

Say what????

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2022:

Somebody tries that on me, there will be some punctuation.

This is why we need research universities

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2022:

Dogs have been doing this for centuries, no research required. However, humans can get into some serious trouble trying the canine method on unsuspecting strangers.

Dostoyevsky

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2022:

Sometimes you need to do what is required rather than what will make you happy, although there is a noble satisfaction that flows from fulfilling one's responsibilities. However, this quotation speaks to an aspirational choice we all face, and I agree with it from that standpoint.

Does Floriduh man Deathcamp DeSantis have COVID?

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2022:

He is that rare combination of demagogue, bully, mincing wuss, and punchable asswipe. A true unicorn of fuckwaddery.

Trump has been telling the truth all along about Fake News and Witch Hunts the whole time, he is a ...

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2022:

I hope you're right, but I'll believe that he'll be held accountable when I see it.

That about covers it!

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2022:

There's that "Speak English Dammit" group I don't see here. But yeah, pretty thorough.

Dealing with fake family this week! LMAO!!!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2022:

Ooo, my sympathy.

I think the right island for his exile is Alcatraz or Rikers.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2022:

Key West. Let the gay community observe his exile.

Izabel studies foreign languages and wants to be a diplomat when she graduates from the university.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2022:

At least she has a landing strip.

A rising star in the GOP who railed against vaccine mandates dies of COVID-19 GOOD RIDDANCE!!!...

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2022:

A rising star, eh? Shine on 6 feet under, hon. You got your freedom all right.

“The world is full of nice people.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2022:

And even if you can find one, be one anyway.

I am hosting a gay Christian scientist in my b&b.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

Awww, you did good.

Dentist or scammer?

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

Hah! He looks like a botched embalming job! LOL Good eye, Lit. :)

The GQP is on the march....

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

No, I guess not. LOL

Sorry I haven't been around much but my computer bit the big one after about 12 years of daily use ...

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

Sorry, boyo. Computers would be perfect if we could figure out how to eliminate the hardware component. Good luck, boss, it'll all come together for you I'm sure.

Sometimes it is just closed

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

Hah! I always pump my own!

Always looking for a little inspiration

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

A good fart can really clarify the mind.

Very important bracelet

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

Nah, leave it there. I'll be dead, and whoever looks into this will probably find it to be enormously entertaining.

Asking for a friend...

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

The little bastards. I don't mind if they pilfer a few sunflower seeds, but they have started chewing the bird feeder plastic parts to get to more seeds thus destroying the feeder, so they ruined it for everybody. Luckily, my cardinals are pretty plucky and I have a lot of holly berries and juniper in the yard. I try to call the squirrels to the hawk's attention.

I might even go back to church for that

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

That's right stumpers, keep moving.

This would be much more beneficial than algebra.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

Real life IS that class. Z's theory of assholes: If the human race is wiped out except for two people, there is a 75 percent chance that one of them is an asshole, but there is a 99 percent chance that they are both assholes. No, the math doesn't work, but it's MY theory and I am sticking with it. ;)

“Only stupid people never change their minds”………………Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2022:

You could be quite intelligent and still have a closed mind. But I take his point.

A very painful lesson.

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2022:

Who wants to tell him?

Well, there goes all our fun!

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2022:

Here's a guy who probably beats up his wife, bangs the babysitter, emotionally abuses his kids if he has any, and sneaks his moonshine by drinking it out of a 7-Eleven cup. Just speculatin', you understand.

Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon.

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2022:

Send the guys who already live in Siberia, they won't be able to tell the difference.

Explains much in my case

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2022:

Right, like remember when you said that thing about that thing? Yeah, me neither.

Remember covfefe? Goes great with that hamberder and sunlight injection!!

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2022:

Ok. Can I say it even if I don't want to say global warming is a hoax? Like just come out and say "Trump is a moron who knows nothing" without any rhyme, preamble, or reason?