Microwaved lasagna.

zeuser comments on Oct 21, 2021:

What's your hurry? Use the oven.

The greatest thing about Kelloggs today....

zeuser comments on Oct 20, 2021:

Buncha flakes.

Taken in context:

zeuser comments on Oct 20, 2021:

Not in Alabama they're not.

A woman was running late for Sunday mass.

zeuser comments on Oct 20, 2021:

Guy: Doc, what's wrong with my wife? Doctor: She has acute angina. Guy: Her tits aren't that bad either, but what's wrong with her?

The Damage Report - Trump Blames Biden For January 6th Riot [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Oct 20, 2021:

Lying, toxic, malignant narcissistic, traitorous asshole says what?

Nailed it....

zeuser comments on Oct 19, 2021:

Do the Q boys have aliens too?

" Hawking was a pop scientist who ipso facto contributed nothing of value to science.

zeuser comments on Oct 19, 2021:

Stephen J. Crothers is a handyman/gardener and part-time amateur scientist who claims that black holes do not exist, and are neither predicted by nor compatible with General Relativity. His body of work consists primarily of articles that he posts at either viXra or his own personal website, thus steering clear of the peer review process. He has also been a frequent guest speaker at the annual EU conferences held by the Electric Universe crowd. THAT Stephen Crothers?

Bad idea No italian

zeuser comments on Oct 19, 2021:

I was gonna give him some gabbagool, but now, fuhgeddaboutit.

What's in a name?

zeuser comments on Oct 19, 2021:

I think he was in a law firm once with Dick Hurtz and Mike Hunt. Has anyone seen those guys recently, BTW? ;)

And loved by the proud boys and the kkk.

zeuser comments on Oct 19, 2021:

And his nutty-butty followers think they are patriots. *shakes my head*

MSNBC - Capitol Rioter Represents Himself, Accidentally Admits To More Crimes [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Oct 19, 2021:

Oh man, we are talking rock-chewing stupid here.

Inspiring post!

zeuser comments on Oct 19, 2021:

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night. But set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. - Harry Dresden

Great ways to escape....

zeuser comments on Oct 19, 2021:

That is fucking hilarious! Priceless!

So it was the dog...

zeuser comments on Oct 18, 2021:

Be proud! Say HELL yeah!

Islands in the stream. That is what we are...

zeuser comments on Oct 18, 2021:

Third Rate Romance? Sympathy for the Devil? I Got You Under My Skin? Hello It's Me?

LOL Florida...

zeuser comments on Oct 18, 2021:

Not just for Halloween anymore, either. LOL

Budding Fox reporter

zeuser comments on Oct 17, 2021:

I hear they make a good buck though, mom. 😏

They know how to run adverts in Brazil.

zeuser comments on Oct 16, 2021:

Nip it in the bud! Nip it! 🤣

“It is always possible to bind together a considerable number of people in love, so long as there ...

zeuser comments on Oct 16, 2021:

I can see how that could be true.

Just so U know...

zeuser comments on Oct 16, 2021:

This. This right here. :)

Beau of the Fifth Column - Let's talk about Trump's message to the GOP.... [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Oct 16, 2021:

All cults operate in an alternate reality. Truth is not important. Beau is right, we need to pay attention.

Too many to name or count...

zeuser comments on Oct 15, 2021:

How about that Stephen Miller guy?

It would have been the same with Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin.

zeuser comments on Oct 15, 2021:

I still, for the life of me, can't figure out how he's getting away with all of this.

Taking being an Anglophile to a whole new level. [theguardian.com]

zeuser comments on Oct 15, 2021:

My kids are grown and long gone, so I've side-stepped this issue. LOL

“Suspicion is a heavy armour and with its weight it impedes more than it ...

zeuser comments on Oct 15, 2021:

True of unwarranted suspicion. I know some folks who certainly have earned my suspicion!

I'll tell you what you did with Atheists for about 1500 years.

zeuser comments on Oct 14, 2021:

They taught us to revile Ms. O'Hair in catholic school when I was stuck there. I wish I had one percent of the courage she had to challenge state-sponsored religion, and prejudice against atheists in general. A true heroine of the movement..."We find the Bible to be nauseating, historically inaccurate and replete with the ravings of madmen," she told Life magazine. "We find God to be sadistic, brutal and a representation of hatred." And this was in the 60's.

The instructions are clear

zeuser comments on Oct 14, 2021:

Yeah, Porn Hub boy! LOL

Think of a.....

zeuser comments on Oct 14, 2021:

Shit, I'm going to have upgrade my wardrobe. And do something about this hair! ;)

Okay,who can answer this?

zeuser comments on Oct 14, 2021:

Time marches on.

"I've learned a while ago that you are not required to attend every argument to which you are ...

zeuser comments on Oct 14, 2021:

Well, I wish I was the one who thought it up. I stole this from a meme, I have no idea who originated it. BUT, I wholeheartedly agree with it, and I do try to live by it.

Does the term, eyes bigger than.... apply here

zeuser comments on Oct 14, 2021:

Dear SexShop, Yeah? So what?

In case you needed another reason to hate candy corn

zeuser comments on Oct 14, 2021:

The tie's too short, but other than that...

When they want to know if you fell off the wagon and started drinking again.

zeuser comments on Oct 13, 2021:

I'll keep this one up my sleeve.

I really don't think they thought the regulations all the way through.

zeuser comments on Oct 13, 2021:

I'm stealing this.

How many times a month, do you as an agnostic, answer to a point of an argument or to a direct ...

zeuser comments on Oct 13, 2021:

I've learned a while ago that you are not required to attend every argument to which you are invited. As for direct questions, if I don't know, I say I don't know. If it's important to me, I'll make a note and follow up on it. Except for little white lies (no, no, those jeans look great on you), I don't give answers I know are not true.

Once again pumpkin pie season is upon us....

zeuser comments on Oct 13, 2021:

I don't wanna know where the whipped cream comes from.

Guess the sign boy doesn't get that ticket to heaven.

zeuser comments on Oct 13, 2021:

A cheeky request.

It's hard to understand the reasoning behind these facts.

zeuser comments on Oct 12, 2021:

I wish it was this simple. The R's (and here I mean the radicalized R's who are more insane than your typical R's) are intimidating competent people in positions which oversee state and county elections, so much so they leave office, fearing for their families and their lives. Then, they put up utter nitwits who are blindly loyal to their stupid orange fuckwitted jerkoff leader. Nobody competent runs against them in the elected positions due to the intimidation, and republican legislatures make sure they appoint their lackeys in states and counties where that's how they do it. Add into this mix (A) gerrymandered districts maximizing republican representation, B laws which suppress minority voters and other contingents who typically trend democrat, C laws which allow local and state boards to reject results for, really, no reason except they didn't like who wins a particular state or county, D the structural electoral college disadvantage which overvalues rural votes over urban votes, E courts packed with wingnut appointees, up to and including the SCOTUS, and F numbskull bigots who only desire to inflict pain on those who are not like them, and impose their "moral" values on everybody whether they like it or not. Don't get me wrong, I like that they are dying at a higher rate. But really, I can't see where that will make much of a difference. :(

Super groaner alert!

zeuser comments on Oct 12, 2021:

For a pun like that, you should be bard.

Because "Moderates" are full of shit....

zeuser comments on Oct 12, 2021:

She's a republican who lies about her party affiliation. Like another WV asswipe I know about.

Good read...intresting bits... [apnews.com]

zeuser comments on Oct 12, 2021:

it's a shame that the talking yam's cult will never read this. Of course, it's a shame that they never read anything at all, but that's another story.

That Oregon Life "Marge Simpson" spotted in Portland by Clifford Paguio Photography. 😆

zeuser comments on Oct 12, 2021:

Photog has a good eye. :)

Why I drink so much....

zeuser comments on Oct 11, 2021:

You can use gin too. I read that in People magazine.

.... it would be so appropriate

zeuser comments on Oct 11, 2021:

Well, he's got his mask on.

Saudi Royal Family Gifted Trump Fake Tiger Furs, Says Report [thedailybeast.com]

zeuser comments on Oct 11, 2021:

Fake news? Nah, fake fur. Fake hair and fake tan too.

No imagination

zeuser comments on Oct 11, 2021:

Because who wants their kids to know anything about bad weather, right?

New stretchy dress I made.

zeuser comments on Oct 10, 2021:

Very natural look for you, very attractive but classy and understated. :)

Damn fake birds!

zeuser comments on Oct 9, 2021:

OMFG, is that real?

I hope this imbecile croaks and bites the big one. [thedailybeast.com]

zeuser comments on Oct 9, 2021:

Use the ivermectin, Allen! Die shitting yourself while gasping for air. Good plan! As a liberal, that would totally own me. Fuckwit.

Sadly it has gotten even worse than this.

zeuser comments on Oct 9, 2021:

It wasn't meant to inspire a proof of concept either.

Yup nobody cared

zeuser comments on Oct 9, 2021:

I played these many times. Always at someone else's house.

If karma was real

zeuser comments on Oct 9, 2021:

If only.

I hear they're hireling! $14.25 hr.

zeuser comments on Oct 9, 2021:

Cheese extra.

I think we all know someone ...........

zeuser comments on Oct 8, 2021:

It's a hidden talent for some. Elephant's graveyard potency.

“A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book”……………Irish ...

zeuser comments on Oct 8, 2021:

A good dump never hurts either. People underestimate the therapeutic effect of that marvelous feeling of intestinal void.

Republican motherhood....

zeuser comments on Oct 7, 2021:

It's only socialism when "those people" benefit.

More than a few people

zeuser comments on Oct 7, 2021:

You were allowed to use aluminum foil, too.

Which are you lmao

zeuser comments on Oct 7, 2021:

I'm gonna take the fifth here.

Awesome costume!

zeuser comments on Oct 5, 2021:

Whoa!

Too true. Too true!

zeuser comments on Oct 4, 2021:

Yeah, too many times. You know, mistakes are actually your friend -- assuming you learn from each one. Now, I grant you, there are some big mistakes we all make that defy the notion that they are really a learning opportunity. You realize the learning after the mistake, but the mistake can be serious. It should reinforce for you not to be stupid and not to make bad decisions, like the sign says. Good luck there, hoomans

All kinds of matter in the universe....

zeuser comments on Oct 4, 2021:

Well all right then! LOL

The resemblance is uncanny

zeuser comments on Oct 4, 2021:

No snowballs?

A WORD TO THE WISE PEOPLE!

zeuser comments on Oct 4, 2021:

Looking for her dropped cell phone, maybe?

Nurses can be imbeciles too! Even if god himself or herself materializes in front of her and tells ...

zeuser comments on Oct 4, 2021:

While I think it's foolish for this woman to pick this hill upon which to die, you have to admit she has the courage of her own convictions and has knowingly accepted the consequences. But, like I said, this is a foolish decision.

Cooking made fun [vm.tiktok.com]

zeuser comments on Oct 3, 2021:

Oh my goodness! 😜

When an anti-vaxxer starts posting comments and you think to yourself.

zeuser comments on Oct 3, 2021:

This looks like someone is setting someone up, I just can't tell who is using who. Or who is using who *more*.

When you are trying hard to impress people but don't know how...

zeuser comments on Oct 3, 2021:

Depends on the granny. We need before and after pics.

Oh dear! Some things you can't just unsee! :-D

zeuser comments on Oct 3, 2021:

Mom not gonna be happy.

Wait until he gets his claws in him!

zeuser comments on Oct 3, 2021:

Not so much of a thought experiment now, is it Edwin?

As found on Amazon: (sorry, not currently available, you will have to live by bread alone)

zeuser comments on Oct 2, 2021:

I know about that "this is my body" crap, but the "make me a sandwich and give me some head" deal is new to me.

Groaner alert! Get it? 😆

zeuser comments on Oct 2, 2021:

That's a pretty cheesy joke, if you ask me.

It's that day again fuckers....

zeuser comments on Oct 2, 2021:

Well that's a little harsh.

The teacher in little Johnny’s 6th grade class enters the classroom and says, “Good morning ...

zeuser comments on Oct 2, 2021:

Johnny should be recognized with some kind of award for his contribution to countless jokes over the decades.

First Cougar:

zeuser comments on Oct 2, 2021:

Who is bagging who here, unless they mean teabagging.

😲😲😲🙄🙄

zeuser comments on Oct 2, 2021:

Let's not overlook the gag "she's already an x-man". You gotta admit, that's a gem.

Admit it. You sang it, didn't you? 😆

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2021:

Sometimes "Y".

Excuse me ma'am we are in the house of the lord right now!

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2021:

Yeah, but the people there are a bunch of dicks. So...

😮 😂😂😂😂…

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2021:

Time for an echo check.

praise god amen.

zeuser comments on Sep 29, 2021:

With a pecker like that, I think he made Mary Magdalene say "Jesus Fucking Christ!" more than one time! LOL

Can't wait for the Netflix documentary!

zeuser comments on Sep 29, 2021:

Gee, that's really a dick move. ;)

A pig would be more fitting here.

zeuser comments on Sep 29, 2021:

There's one sitting behind Putin.

The best published apology.

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2021:

Hey, let George figure out which version he likes. It pays to advertise.

Another new groaner

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2021:

The other tectonic plate said, "And just what do you mean by THAT crack?"

Runs out to buy a baseball bat...

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2021:

You'd need a little more firepower to get through the hired mercenaries they use as bodyguards. Then, yeah, bats would work.

Governor Noem Forced Agency Head Out Because Didn't Issue Real Estate License To Her Daughter

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2021:

This criminal activity cements her reputation amongst the orange cult. They like shit like this, it proves you are "strong". Coercion, intimidation, and punching down - the holy trinity for these fucking asswipes.

I Wonder Who Helped Create These Very Crazies? Oh, You Did. [rawstory.com]

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2021:

...playing my heart bleeds for you...

One idea I really like ... Along with "Eat the rich..."

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2021:

I'm in.

God was too busy watching football 🏈

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2021:

Um, priorities. Mysterious ways. Testing their faith. Shit like that.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint The bartender says, " you're in here a lot.

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2021:

Nice twist on an old classic.

A little dark humor but funny

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2021:

There was a spike in his support right before Halloween.

Walls Are Of No Use, When The Enemy Is Within-Redux: [sfgate.com]

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2021:

You're going to hear more about these idiots all over the country. They are intimidating the competent and trustworthy people and inserting their own lunatics. Nuts or not, the threat to the republic is clear and shouldn't be tolerated. And anyone who who intimidates or threatens any election official or their families should be charged with a felony. Anyone caught tampering with any election materials or equipment ought to be subject to felony charges as well. This has gone far enough, too far IMHO.

Hey, they made their beds, now they're fucked in the same beds, actually they died and Darwin is ...

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2021:

While I do not grieve for those who die or suffer due to willful ignorance, I do grieve for the abuse and emotional damage those in the medical community absorb by valiantly trying to save these cretins from themselves.

Not all of course, but some Chinese food sucks! :-D

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2021:

Maybe they have a Chinese version of jerk chicken. Or at least jerk sauce.

Haha! I got a scammer deleted.

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2021:

Good job, LH.

When her husband comes home early....

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2021:

No surprises here. Well, maybe one.

A positive development on the COVID front it seems that the anti-vaxxers are starting a campaign to ...

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2021:

Fabulous idea! Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

I hate it when I have difacotty’s

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2021:

I know, right? It's hawrabull.

Just when you think the stable genius can't get any more moronic! This shit is hilarious! What a ...

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2021:

I can imagine all of his toadies in some room in Mar-a-Lago looking at each other, covered with flop sweat, all simultaneously saying "Who's gonna tell him? I'M not gonna tell him! YOU tell him!" LOL

My new favourite word!

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2021:

I know several of these guys!

Words 1.... These are different memes now....

zeuser comments on Sep 23, 2021:

Wonderful collection!