This might come in handy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

Must have stopped off for a clone job...

zeuser replies on Jul 11, 2021:

Nope, Heisenberg's uncertainty principle at work.

Time to develop another strategy.

HankSherman comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Sometimes I can't believe you still come up with this stuff....think about what this does to the envir.onment

zeuser replies on Jul 10, 2021:

Hey, now. At least there wasn't any of that "pull my finger" business.

Time to develop another strategy.

phxbillcee comments on Jul 9, 2021:

He who bubbles it admits it...(couldn't find a 'bubble' rhyme to fit there! LOL)

zeuser replies on Jul 9, 2021:

He who blooped it pooped it?

The death of Ashli Babbitt offers the purest distillation of Donald Trump’s view of justice...

zeuser comments on Jul 8, 2021:

I've said this many times, the only justice this orange asshole will ever face will be at the hands of a mob.

zeuser replies on Jul 8, 2021:

@BirdMan1 You can tell he's worried about the precedent. I read somewhere that Mussolini's end influenced Hitler to instruct his ghouls to burn his body after he shot himself so his rancid corpse would not be desecrated like that of "Il Duce". And Trump is a big Hitler fan. So....

Poor little Trumpty Dumpty claims he was being censored by Twitter, Google and Facebook.

mcgeo52 comments on Jul 8, 2021:

The companies sued should counter-sue, and add claims for slander. Legally, these suits have zero credibility. Trump agreed to their terms of service and then violated those terms. The companies had the contractual right (and arguably a contractual responsibility) to ban Trump. I don't know ...

zeuser replies on Jul 8, 2021:

He says they are "tobacco lawyers". Maybe they can negotiate having a warning label tattooed on his forehead.

Can we encourage them to go

zeuser comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Sure, good idea, y'all go to Russia where men are men, the national sport is vodka, and everybody either dies young or goes to prison. Your kind of place. Sorry, no PBR.

zeuser replies on Jul 7, 2021:

@dalefvictor If Putin wanted it, he'd win.

The first words from any philly baby - "Boooo, booo".

St-Sinner comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Never had it but I looked up why the craze about the Philly Cheesesteak. "When it comes to quintessential Philly sandwiches, the cheesesteak may be more famous, but the roast pork sandwich is a sleeper favorite of many. Philadelphia’s most iconic food is a sandwich: hot beef and melty ...

zeuser replies on Jul 7, 2021:

@St-Sinner Blasphemy! LOL

The first words from any philly baby - "Boooo, booo".

St-Sinner comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Never had it but I looked up why the craze about the Philly Cheesesteak. "When it comes to quintessential Philly sandwiches, the cheesesteak may be more famous, but the roast pork sandwich is a sleeper favorite of many. Philadelphia’s most iconic food is a sandwich: hot beef and melty ...

zeuser replies on Jul 7, 2021:

Oh my. Thinly sliced grilled sirloin, grilled onions, cheese - provolone, American white, or cheese whiz -melted on top of the meat, all in a freshly baked hoagie roll. These things are NOT supposed to be in cheesesteaks no matter what people tell you - no bell peppers, no mushrooms. Pizza sauce is ok for a pizza steak. You judge how good the sandwich is by how far down your forearm the grease runs when you eat it.

The first words from any philly baby - "Boooo, booo".

Cast1es comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Way too much saalt in prepared baby foods .

zeuser replies on Jul 7, 2021:

With cheesesteaks, that is the whole point. Start 'em early, build up an immunity.

"Animal factories are one more sign of the extent to which our technological capacities have ...

AnonySchmoose comments on Jul 6, 2021:

Animal factories ought to be called criminal. The violence to humans begins with animal factories and vice versa.

zeuser replies on Jul 6, 2021:

Too true. I do understand humanely raising farm animals, but the food factory approach is reprehensible. Here in NC we have huge hog farms where all the waste is stored in what is euphemistically called "lagoons", and the animals suffer horribly. Hogs, in particular, realize they are about to be killed, and they die in terror.

Anybody ever run into these wackadoos?

Robecology comments on Jul 5, 2021:

Facebooks boast 96.7 thousand members; Birds Aren't Real Private group · 96.7K members. Wow....do I feel like a failure as a teacher!

zeuser replies on Jul 5, 2021:

I wonder how many work at Chik Fil A or KFC.

ok whose pet is this!?

zeuser comments on Jul 5, 2021:

5G, eh? It's the ghost of Triggggger.

zeuser replies on Jul 5, 2021:

@Cast1es Yeah, but what about Triggggger? 😉

Anybody ever run into these wackadoos?

HankSherman comments on Jul 5, 2021:

Not sure.....there may be a correlation of people losing faith in their religion, and not wanting to face reality, just losing all touch with anything rational......

zeuser replies on Jul 5, 2021:

Seems if you turn your back on mythology you are turning towards reality. But I guess you can't generalize.

Anybody ever run into these wackadoos?

Diogenes comments on Jul 5, 2021:

On the census in Canada there was a question, "What was your gender at birth?" I was a three-eared toad- but I morphed into a giraffe! That isn't an answer about "gender"- but neither is the question. It has to be some kind of weird, politically-correct joke.------ and don't you dare cross that ...

zeuser replies on Jul 5, 2021:

Stop that kind of talk. The world might view it as a challenge.

Anybody ever run into these wackadoos?

Marionville comments on Jul 4, 2021:

Why is it all these crackpot conspiracy theories seem to originate in the USA? This one is plain cuckoo! 🐦

zeuser replies on Jul 4, 2021:

At this point, it's our brand.

Anybody ever run into these wackadoos?

Kynlei comments on Jul 4, 2021:

Oh for fuck's sake. You are not important enough for the government to track.

zeuser replies on Jul 4, 2021:

With *bird drones*, am I right?

Anybody ever run into these wackadoos?

racocn8 comments on Jul 4, 2021:

These are people whose self-esteem is so low that they have to pretend insanity to get attention.

zeuser replies on Jul 4, 2021:

Pretty good theory. I can see that being at the least a heavily contributing factor.

Anybody ever run into these wackadoos?

phxbillcee comments on Jul 4, 2021:

Well, I have to admit I don't believe Congress is quite real...

zeuser replies on Jul 4, 2021:

How about surreal?

Anybody ever run into these wackadoos?

azzow2 comments on Jul 4, 2021:

How do they explain all of the turkeys and chickens?

zeuser replies on Jul 4, 2021:

You'd have to ask one of them I guess.

Happy independence day to all my "just for laughs" American godless peeps.

racocn8 comments on Jul 4, 2021:

Those two should get together...

zeuser replies on Jul 4, 2021:

Who's to say they haven't already. 😜

Happy independence day to all my "just for laughs" American godless peeps.

lerlo comments on Jul 4, 2021:

Back at you. I see my grilling attire has been copied I'll have to come up with something new🤣🤣

zeuser replies on Jul 4, 2021:

I don't wanna know which outfit of yours this copies. LOL

Trump called it "A political Witch Hunt by the Radical Left Democrats" The Trump Organization and...

zeuser comments on Jul 1, 2021:

Al Capone said it was all bullshit too. He died of syphilis in a jail cell.

zeuser replies on Jul 1, 2021:

@anglophone Me too.

Tweety never saw the second floor of the White House. Guess why?

zeuser comments on Jul 1, 2021:

What in the actual fuck? Really?

zeuser replies on Jul 1, 2021:

@OldGoat43 Wow. That is a new level for me. What a wuss.

Trump Rambles On Newsmax After Being Asked What Melania Is Up To: VIDEO - Comic Sands

zeuser comments on Jun 29, 2021:

From what little I read before I started to retch, she is low key, but not low key. This is a Schroedinger's cat situation. Except they are all crooks and insurrectionists. Melania does, to be fair, have nice tits.

zeuser replies on Jun 29, 2021:

@OldMetalHead I was thinking Schroedinger's pussy, or box. But that works too.

The young Trump, anthropromophically. (Is that spelled right?)

BirdMan1 comments on Jun 29, 2021:

Spelled right, and funny!

zeuser replies on Jun 29, 2021:

Whew!

At least it wasn't a super soaker.

KateOahu comments on Jun 29, 2021:

Stupid sob, ain’t he? Talk about missed opportunity.

zeuser replies on Jun 29, 2021:

The young woman is evidently putting up with him. Neither one seems very bright.

The young Trump, anthropromophically. (Is that spelled right?)

HippieChick58 comments on Jun 28, 2021:

BUT don't give up!! I raised some good little xian Republicans, until they went to college. Now they are amazing liberal democrat atheists! I done damn good!

zeuser replies on Jun 28, 2021:

Yes. Yes you did. <3

Yeah that is interesting

glennlab comments on Jun 28, 2021:

also be his first complete sentence

zeuser replies on Jun 28, 2021:

Good one!

Trump organization could have criminal charges as early as next week Text in comments

BirdMan1 comments on Jun 27, 2021:

Please, do not hesitate to indict on my account!

zeuser replies on Jun 27, 2021:

@glennlab Good idea, cover all the bases.

Trump organization could have criminal charges as early as next week Text in comments

BirdMan1 comments on Jun 27, 2021:

Please, do not hesitate to indict on my account!

zeuser replies on Jun 27, 2021:

@glennlab Save the party for the conviction.

This resonated with me.

LiterateHiker comments on Jun 27, 2021:

I disagree. Life is a process of learning and growing. Born prematurely, I had to fight to survive. I'm learning to relax. I was born an ebullient optimist. This hasn't changed. Still use all of my senses outdoors. While hiking, I love hearing the soft rattling of millions of Aspen leaves, ...

zeuser replies on Jun 27, 2021:

Sounds like you avoided a lot of the negativity that others have had to endure and developed your identity wisely. That's good!

Look who got the bill. LOL

HankSherman comments on Jun 26, 2021:

Demanding a DNA test is in order

zeuser replies on Jun 26, 2021:

The real dad is ducking the test. 😜

Car security

phxbillcee comments on Jun 24, 2021:

Reminds me a bit of this...

zeuser replies on Jun 24, 2021:

That poor guy got hosed all right.

New York Daily News Trump tried to enlist Justice Department to stop ‘SNL’ from satirizing him...

glennlab comments on Jun 22, 2021:

The reason he kept firing people is that they told him no, the ones that said nothing or just did nothing remained, finally he was surrounded by either yes people or do nothing people. What a way to run a government.

zeuser replies on Jun 22, 2021:

You nailed it. All the competent ones, or the ones with integrity, took off. We all see what was left. Dog's breakfast material.

Seattle Politics aka Horsey

Willow_Wisp comments on Jun 21, 2021:

The cluster is actually on the right, but they think they're in the middle, and start shit with the loners on the left. It's a clash between conservative rural tribalism and the reality of twenty first century life in the urban areas. It's an experiment by the right, they tried to use it to excuse ...

zeuser replies on Jun 21, 2021:

"Exactly how stupid do those people think everyone else is?" As stupid as they are themselves. They think "Yeah, that would fool me" and then do it with that mangled misunderstanding as the basis. ;)

Father's day at Leavenworth.

DharmaBum50 comments on Jun 20, 2021:

In our dreams!

zeuser replies on Jun 21, 2021:

@JeffMurray Yeah, but here with us, we know it's a joke.

ABDUCTED BALLOT DATA Arizona voting system data has been taken by truck to a so-called "secure ...

Sticks48 comments on Jun 18, 2021:

I am pretty sure none of this is even legal.

zeuser replies on Jun 18, 2021:

You're right. That shit can NOT be legal.

Tucker Carlson Called 'Dead Wrong,' 'Tinfoil-Hat' Crazy after his Baseless Claim of FBI Role in ...

zeuser comments on Jun 17, 2021:

Anti-American asswipe says what?

zeuser replies on Jun 18, 2021:

@OldGoat43 It's a childish way to insult someone and trick then into admitting they are the insulting term you used when they answered "what?"

Trigger warning: Moms, close your eyes for this.

lerlo comments on Jun 15, 2021:

But he runs with scissors too!

zeuser replies on Jun 15, 2021:

None of that helps him here. LOL

We're not as smart as we think we are.?

Willow_Wisp comments on Jun 14, 2021:

People have in general always been stupid apes, due primarily to their hubris. You can't teach anyone anything when they're convinced they already know everything, not for the entire six thousand year history of the universe, as a sarcastic example. People don't understand that unlike ignorance ...

zeuser replies on Jun 14, 2021:

It's an uphill battle. It was always hard to teach reality to the indifferent, but it has gotten worse as they've gotten more empowered by examples of bullying and oafishness among the elected leaders and the fringe elements of radical thought. Not good.

Larson confronts the age old question....

AnonySchmoose comments on Jun 9, 2021:

If it was a good apple cider, I bet he would drink.

zeuser replies on Jun 9, 2021:

@AnonySchmoose Yeah, I can see that. Either one.

Larson confronts the age old question....

AnonySchmoose comments on Jun 9, 2021:

If it was a good apple cider, I bet he would drink.

zeuser replies on Jun 9, 2021:

Then the saying would be -- you can lead a horse to apple cider, and he drinks it. I doubt that would ever have become a cliché.

An interesting offer.

AnneWimsey comments on Jun 9, 2021:

The Correct Address is: c/o @AnneWimsey!

zeuser replies on Jun 9, 2021:

I see what you did there, you capitalist you. ;)

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be." P.C. Hodgell Seeker’s Mask

WilliamCharles comments on Jun 9, 2021:

Always thought it was Sagan. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/truth-carl-sagan-quote/

zeuser replies on Jun 9, 2021:

It's a good line, but I didn't see anything attributing it to Chapman Cohen, or anyone else. No matter who said it, it's a great quote because it's true. I love providing a whiff of science.

What sticks out the most for me is that this heavy gentleman they used for the photoshop is far ...

BirdMan1 comments on Jun 9, 2021:

His private tailor makes them for him...never gets paid.

zeuser replies on Jun 9, 2021:

I read somewhere that he refuses to allow tailoring of his apparel.

Darn, my dog is a nudist.

JackPedigo comments on Jun 7, 2021:

What kind of park is this?!

zeuser replies on Jun 7, 2021:

Punchline Park?

'So interesting': Trump pitched on idea to run for House, become Speaker | TheHill

zeuser comments on Jun 6, 2021:

Because he's such a great negotiator, right? LOL

zeuser replies on Jun 6, 2021:

@SeaGreenEyez The SOH is a political position. If a speaker has legislative, negotiating, or leadership skills, that's a bonus.

As if thugs like the militia groups and Proud Boys aren't bad enough, now look who's been in ...

JackPedigo comments on Jun 5, 2021:

Looks like one tough pussy.

zeuser replies on Jun 6, 2021:

I bet it can take a pounding. LOL

Hey, free is free.

KateOahu comments on Jun 4, 2021:

Hell, I had to let them scan my license to buy wine in Las Vegas, New Mexico, this afternoon.

zeuser replies on Jun 4, 2021:

I enter my zip code to buy gas with a card on the interstates. Identification technology is something flying under the radar.

You can't make me, copper!

phxbillcee comments on Jun 3, 2021:

If I do end up in one of those black plastic sacks for any length of time I don't think I'd really give a damn where I'm placed after!

zeuser replies on Jun 3, 2021:

Yeah. After a couple of minutes, it's really a moot point.

Giraffe walks into a bar, says "High balls are on me."

Austin-Cambridge comments on Jun 3, 2021:

You've got some neck posting that big Z :-D

zeuser replies on Jun 3, 2021:

You have to stick your neck out for humor sometimes, AC.

Always make sure you know your territory, or shut up.

glennlab comments on May 31, 2021:

If they had read the damned thing, they would have seen the discrepancies.

zeuser replies on May 31, 2021:

Probably too late for most of them.

not a good thing to say in a mexican prison.

BestWithoutGods comments on May 30, 2021:

So that's why Jesus had twelve men who followed him everywhere! :o

zeuser replies on May 30, 2021:

Eating his "body"? Drinking his "blood"?

“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be ...

KateOahu comments on May 30, 2021:

You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.

zeuser replies on May 30, 2021:

I like that. *writes it down* I'm gonna steal it, just so you know.

“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be ...

zeuser comments on May 30, 2021:

I've learned a lot about eliminating negative people in my life recently. I don't feel any lonelier, to be honest. Bennett is right, choose your companions with care.

zeuser replies on May 30, 2021:

@LenHazell53 Whoa, I could use a couple of those too!

The picture I want to see

phxbillcee comments on May 30, 2021:

tRump would be too afraid to get any tats, tho I don't doubt he be poked many other ways!

zeuser replies on May 30, 2021:

Yeah, that sort of ink probably wouldn't do well with all the blood thinners in his system.

People can be so judgmental.

Diogenes comments on May 30, 2021:

I can equate with that- because I am crude and rude too!

zeuser replies on May 30, 2021:

Yeah, but in an adorable curmudgeonly way. :)

People can be so judgmental.

bobwjr comments on May 29, 2021:

Especially a grandad fart

zeuser replies on May 29, 2021:

@MsKathleen it's not what you eat, it's how you use it. 😜

People can be so judgmental.

glennlab comments on May 29, 2021:

If they can see your fart, then it wasn't just a fart.

zeuser replies on May 29, 2021:

You got me there, Glenn.

People can be so judgmental.

bobwjr comments on May 29, 2021:

Especially a grandad fart

zeuser replies on May 29, 2021:

It's amazing how potency can increase exponentially with age.

That'll be chilly for a bit.

phxbillcee comments on May 28, 2021:

So, all the Palace Guards are coneheads???

zeuser replies on May 28, 2021:

Maybe. LOL

Reagan is the devil that gave us Trump, Never forget, Never forgive.

NHjulie comments on May 27, 2021:

Agree completely. And don't forget what he did to the mental health system. The Mental Health Systems Act of 1980 (MHSA) was United States legislation signed by President Jimmy Carter which provided grants to community mental health centers. In 1981 President Ronald Reagan and the U.S. ...

zeuser replies on May 28, 2021:

Yeah, that part doesn't get enough scrutiny in the historical scope of things. It increased the number of homeless in the streets significantly.

Oh Pu-LEASE let it be true! Orange jumpsuits for the Trumps! I have questions about the grand jury...

HippieChick58 comments on May 25, 2021:

I have no doubt he would throw anyone and everyone under the bus to try to save his own ass. Can you imagine them all throwing each other under the bus. What carnage!!

zeuser replies on May 25, 2021:

That sounds like "good carnage".

What? Oh yeah, that was the rhino.

Pralina1 comments on May 24, 2021:

What r u talking about ?? Women don’t fart ! And if we do , it’s roses , lavender and glitter . Occationally rainbows 🦋🦋💐🌸🌼🌻🌷🌹🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

zeuser replies on May 25, 2021:

I bet after eating two or three bean burritos it would be a different story. LOL

What? Oh yeah, that was the rhino.

bobwjr comments on May 24, 2021:

Yup

zeuser replies on May 24, 2021:

I just know you've done it, Bob. This is also a good reason to have a dog around.🤣

Plus, he works for oats.

Deb57 comments on May 23, 2021:

You need to put a dollar in the pun jar now. ;)

zeuser replies on May 23, 2021:

I'll save time and drop in a 20.

Gotta respect bilingual rodents.

KateOahu comments on May 21, 2021:

It won’t help.

zeuser replies on May 22, 2021:

@Austin-Cambridge Mice have notoriously bad taste in food. Not picky at all.

Gotta respect bilingual rodents.

Austin-Cambridge comments on May 22, 2021:

This joke is poorer than a church-mouse! :-D

zeuser replies on May 22, 2021:

Yeah, but it is very very quiet.

Gotta respect bilingual rodents.

KateOahu comments on May 21, 2021:

It won’t help.

zeuser replies on May 21, 2021:

Don't tell me, tell the mouse. Still, it goes to show you, praying for something to anybody or anything, is pretty cheesy. Or, um, Krafty. 😊

He would in a heartbeat

HippieChick58 comments on May 21, 2021:

He damn tried!

zeuser replies on May 21, 2021:

He's still trying.

It's official, our country is full of imbeciles! [msn.com]

zeuser comments on May 20, 2021:

Brainwashed is the term I would use. Completely indoctrinated with propaganda. They certainly aren't geniuses, but not quite imbeciles either, manipulated by a demagogue and belief in a reality that they want to be true, regardless of objective reality.

zeuser replies on May 20, 2021:

@Mofo1953 I'd pick "assholes" out of that list. LOL

My buddy sent me this gem.

HankSherman comments on May 20, 2021:

Kathie and I got good chuckles....thanks

zeuser replies on May 20, 2021:

De nada.

Correct! 😂

zeuser comments on May 18, 2021:

Ad hoc ergo propter hoc. Classic logic fallacy. LOL

zeuser replies on May 19, 2021:

@Ryo1 A perfect time to teach the basics of logic.

No godless heathens here. Nope, no siree.

phxbillcee comments on May 15, 2021:

Maybe not godless, but soulless...

zeuser replies on May 15, 2021:

Both.

Happy Mother's day, you mothers! 😊💙

Lorajay comments on May 9, 2021:

I resemble that cartoon. I got the dog's and the kid's names mixed up all the time.

zeuser replies on May 9, 2021:

It happens.

And also afraid to get his “hair” wet.

zeuser comments on May 6, 2021:

You can decorate him all you want, but it's still like putting a pink tutu on a pile of steaming horseshit.

zeuser replies on May 8, 2021:

@LucyLoohoo I've known a few canine Zeuses. One was a chihuahua. One is a rottie. It's a proud heritage. ;)

New platform. A lot of people say it's yuge.

HippieChick58 comments on May 7, 2021:

Way back when.... I was an 05H in the Army. I was a Morse Code Intercept operator. Essentially I can listen and transcribe, but I can't send worth a damn. And seriously, I don't think it is going to catch on very well.

zeuser replies on May 7, 2021:

That's so cool!

You're gonna have a bad day.

Theresa_N comments on May 5, 2021:

Serves her right for using disposables like that.

zeuser replies on May 5, 2021:

Yep. You never make that particular mistake with a French press.

Trees experimenting with different reproductive strategies.

tioteo comments on Apr 28, 2021:

That is a cunt tree, never found in a city

zeuser replies on Apr 29, 2021:

Nice one!

Devin Nunes is caught up in Giuliani’s ‘Russian mob’ scandal: Trump impeachment prosecutor...

Redheadedgammy comments on Apr 28, 2021:

Oh this is a most wonderful development! I wonder how Devin will get out of this???? LOL

zeuser replies on Apr 28, 2021:

He's gonna pin it on his cow. LOL

& the winner is...

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2021:

I won my high school science fair once, I placed third the year before. I didn't have the wheel up my sleeve, but it was better than pointy stick. LOL

zeuser replies on Apr 23, 2021:

@phxbillcee No, no, it was material science based on using mine tailings, culm, in various useful ways. We had a lot of culm in NE PA, where we mined anthracite for a long time before externalities were even discussed as a thing. It was high school science, but it got me a silver one year, and a gold the next. No volcanoes involved. I used the scientific method!

Sharpening my humor a little.

Cast1es comments on Apr 23, 2021:

Why are men so enticed by basic bodily functions ?

zeuser replies on Apr 23, 2021:

They're funny.

Sharpening my humor a little.

St-Sinner comments on Apr 23, 2021:

Always tell the truth to children.

zeuser replies on Apr 23, 2021:

Yeah, but stuff like this is a big part of making being a dad fun. 😄

Feeling left out? Find your theory here.

Donna_I comments on Apr 18, 2021:

Obama will harvest your trigger finger in the pantry of a marxist pizzeria... Why the pantry specifically I don't know.

zeuser replies on Apr 18, 2021:

That's part of the conspiracy. :)

Meep Meep.

Oldman51 comments on Apr 18, 2021:

Might even be a x marking the spot.

zeuser replies on Apr 18, 2021:

Yeah, probably the one the coyote painted his very own coyote self. And he thought, like always, that he was being clever. That's the genius of RR.

Meep Meep.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 18, 2021:

I don't remember my exact results, but a long time ago in college statistics, I did a project counting how many times on average the coyote would have died per cartoon.

zeuser replies on Apr 18, 2021:

From Wiki, it was fun to see the list annotated like this: In his book Chuck Amuck: The Life and Times of an Animated Cartoonist,[44] Chuck Jones claimed that he and the artists behind the Road Runner and Wile E. cartoons adhered to some simple but strict rules: 1. "The Road Runner cannot harm the Coyote except by going ‘Beep-Beep!’" This only applies to direct harm. However, the Road Runner is able to indirectly harm Wile E. One of the most common instances of indirect harm was done with a startling "Beep-Beep" that ends up sending Wile E. off a cliff. Rule 1 was broken in Clippety Clobbered when the Road Runner drops a boulder on the Coyote after painting it with "invisible paint", and has been broken in several CGI shorts from The Looney Tunes Show. 2. "No outside force can harm the Coyote — only his own ineptitude or the failure of the Acme products." Trains and trucks were the exceptions from time to time. 3. "The Coyote could stop anytime — if he were not a fanatic. (Repeat: ‘A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim.’ — George Santayana)." 4. "No dialogue ever, except ‘Beep-Beep!’" Various onomatopoeic exclamations (such as yowling in pain) are seemingly not considered dialogue. This rule was violated in some cartoons such as in Zoom at the Top where the Coyote says the word "Ouch." after he gets hurt in a bear trap, as well as in shorts such as "Adventures of the Road Runner" which don't follow the standard formula. 5. "The Road Runner must stay on the road — otherwise, logically, he would not be called Road Runner." This rule was broken in several shorts including cactus patches, mines, cliff edges, mountain tops and railways. 6. "All action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters — the southwest American desert." 7. "All materials tools, weapons, or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the Acme Corporation." However, there have been instances in which Wile E. utilizes products not obtained from Acme; in Rushing Roulette, the Coyote uses AJAX Stix-All glue. In Zip 'N Snort, aside from the Acme Iron Pellets, Wile E. also had a box of AJAX Bird Seed. In Fast and Furry-ous, even though one item, the Super Outfit, was from Acme, for some reason the Jet-Propelled Tennis Shoes was from 7. "Fleet-Feet". On one occasion, he uses a manual: How to Build a Burmese Tiger Trap (though the publisher is not indicated), hoping to catch the Roadrunner. To his shock, the trap works precisely as promised, and actually does catch a Burmese tiger ("Surprisibus Surprisibus"). 8. "Whenever possible, make gravity the Coyote's greatest enemy." For example, falling off a cliff. 9. "The Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures."

Meep Meep.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 18, 2021:

I don't remember my exact results, but a long time ago in college statistics, I did a project counting how many times on average the coyote would have died per cartoon.

zeuser replies on Apr 18, 2021:

I recall reading the dozen or so rules Chuck Jones of Looney Tunes developed that governed how the roadrunner cartoons should be made. One of them was "none of the characters are permanently damaged or killed " or something to that effect. I'll see if I can find them and post them here.

When you bust yourself unnecessarily.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 16, 2021:

Oopsy. And, wouldn't he be blowing from the other end?

zeuser replies on Apr 17, 2021:

@HankSherman You can't prove anything. LOL 🤣

When you bust yourself unnecessarily.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 16, 2021:

Oopsy. And, wouldn't he be blowing from the other end?

zeuser replies on Apr 16, 2021:

Kinky. You hotdog you. :)

When you bust yourself unnecessarily.

St-Sinner comments on Apr 16, 2021:

Hey, cut him some slack.... I know the feeling.

zeuser replies on Apr 16, 2021:

Yeah, I can relate, you know? LOL

Ahhh, so that's how it works.

St-Sinner comments on Apr 16, 2021:

Why has it been so difficult to understand?

zeuser replies on Apr 16, 2021:

It is a tribute (if that's how you want to characterize it) to the effectiveness of widely disseminated propaganda and the wishful thinking it inspired.

Changing, charging, adapting. Three different things.

Kynlei comments on Apr 14, 2021:

My husband. Good lord there are so many electronic parts. Old computer cases, broken TVs, obsolete video cards, cables to who knows what. I beg him to get rid of it but he never does.

zeuser replies on Apr 15, 2021:

@Kynlei Yikes. It's like the jacks you used to use to connect speakers to other equipment. A prong with a jacket around it. We called them furred plugs when I was in cable a long time ago. Might have been cable tech slang.

Changing, charging, adapting. Three different things.

Kynlei comments on Apr 14, 2021:

My husband. Good lord there are so many electronic parts. Old computer cases, broken TVs, obsolete video cards, cables to who knows what. I beg him to get rid of it but he never does.

zeuser replies on Apr 14, 2021:

I still have stuff with furred plugs, really 30 years old. You never know..

Changing, charging, adapting. Three different things.

bobwjr comments on Apr 14, 2021:

Remember that now just one type

zeuser replies on Apr 14, 2021:

Not with my stuff, Bob.

Changing, charging, adapting. Three different things.

NHjulie comments on Apr 14, 2021:

Yup. I keep finding them everywhere.

zeuser replies on Apr 14, 2021:

@NHjulie They are all black. It would help if they were different colors, but as usual, nobody asked me first.

Changing, charging, adapting. Three different things.

NHjulie comments on Apr 14, 2021:

Yup. I keep finding them everywhere.

zeuser replies on Apr 14, 2021:

I'm afraid to throw them away. It's irrational, but the question is....can I adapt? LOL

Some of these are too true to be really funny, but I chuckled at most of them.

Donna_I comments on Apr 14, 2021:

I am not sure of the physics for number 9 but it explains so much! 🤣

zeuser replies on Apr 14, 2021:

I think it's metaphysical, but just as true.

Some of these are too true to be really funny, but I chuckled at most of them.

St-Sinner comments on Apr 14, 2021:

All applies to me but I pretend it does not.

zeuser replies on Apr 14, 2021:

Let me know how that works out for you, partner. 😉

Gwen Shocks a Christian I was in Walmart today and, as is my wont, struck up a conversation with...

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

That's cute. I remember telling a JW at the door that I was an atheist, and he told me he was sorry to hear it, which made me laugh. He came back the next day to apologize to me, which impressed me. Then I asked him if he wanted to help me sacrifice the goat in the back yard. And they say we have no...

zeuser replies on Apr 13, 2021:

@Gwendolyn2018 Because a rabbit hiding eggs on the Sunday after the first full moon following the spring equinox isn't suspiciously pagan. Nope, not at all. 😉 Though honestly, atheism *would* be better with chocolate rabbits once a year. LOL

CNN - ADL CEO calls for Fox News to fire Tucker Carlson [youtube.com]

chalupacabre comments on Apr 12, 2021:

The guy loses the network money and he was successfully defended in a slander suit when his lawyer argued that he wasn't an actual journalist, anyway, but more of a bloviating bobblehead, so what genuine value does he offer the network?

zeuser replies on Apr 12, 2021:

Wingnut eyeballs.