Rasing my hand

zeuser comments on May 1, 2021:

Oh hell yeah!

Another example of extreme advertising hype.

zeuser comments on May 1, 2021:

That's cold.

I hope it is not Covid.

zeuser comments on May 1, 2021:

It's genetic. It runs in your jeans.

This seems to be true for so many...

zeuser comments on Apr 30, 2021:

I think these are against the law in jersey.

I'm choosing number 2.

zeuser comments on Apr 30, 2021:

You couldn't reach your feet up to tie number 1. Gotta be two.

No kidding that's me

zeuser comments on Apr 30, 2021:

Yeah, I can relate.

Must visit here, Hebden Bridge that is!

zeuser comments on Apr 30, 2021:

*Writing it down* Thanks for the tip!

Oops...

zeuser comments on Apr 30, 2021:

What to do? Quite a dilemma.

They spelled 'anal' wrong.

zeuser comments on Apr 30, 2021:

That's a shitty way to test.

This is bordering on ridiculous.

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2021:

They are doing damage, real damage, to the concept of free and fair elections and the basic trust you should put in elected officials. It is scary.

Think of the children 😂

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2021:

Worked for me.

Who's first?

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2021:

Um, nope.

Opinion | It's Time To Destroy the Sick and Twisted Plans of American Maskholes

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2021:

This strategy, if that's what you want to call it, is doomed to fail. This is not to say people won't still make ridiculous choices at the ballot box, because a large portion of Americans are dumb and indoctrinated. OTOH, the economy will rebound regardless. Voter suppressions WILL backfire. You heard it here first.

So, that's the real reason! I thought it was love. 😂

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2021:

Is it her money too, do you think?

Can it be done on the weekend?

zeuser comments on Apr 29, 2021:

I bet when they tell her no that she demands to talk with the manager.

"What harm would it do, if a man told a good strong lie for the sake of the good and for the ...

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2021:

I think he was lying.

How’s he know??

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2021:

Sadly, I seem to be on an involuntary diet.

Devin Nunes is caught up in Giuliani’s ‘Russian mob’ scandal: Trump impeachment prosecutor...

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2021:

Fantastic. Fry this asshole.

Every year this time tree jiz on my car

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2021:

Pine pollen in NC is beyond ridiculous. Luckily, we are about through with it for this year.

Rudy is Back in the News! [nytimes.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2021:

Rudy will be paying for his idiocy. His "client" will not help him at all. Not really a sad situation. Not for me. LOL

TRUMP'S BLEACH CURE ALL Four Bradenton FL men: Mark Grenon, 62, seen here, & his 3 sons, Jonathan ...

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2021:

Just one more story from the right wing part of Twat Town.

The Centner Academy in Miami sent a notice to parents on Monday informing them of a new policy for ...

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2021:

Just what in the actual fuck. A black hole of ignorance, even common sense cannot escape the gravitational pull.

I didn't even know they could drive!

zeuser comments on Apr 28, 2021:

Two in the front, three in the back. Don't even start about the trunk, ok?

Boy Calls Child Protective Services After Catching Parents Watching Tucker Carlson

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2021:

Good satire. Funny/ not funny.

TST has created a secular answer to AA with "Sober Faction"

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2021:

Glad to see this. It always bothered me that the most touted treatment for addiction involved belief in a higher power. As if rational humanists never have addiction issues. This is a good thing. I approve!

one of my favorite memes...

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2021:

Sounds like she means business this time, mister.

Hardworking is never appreciated, only the result matters most. (Anonymous)

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2021:

I dunno, I appreciate hard work.

Funny question

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2021:

I would have guessed "bald as an onion", but you can't tell without checking I guess.

dad please stop, I'm scared.

zeuser comments on Apr 27, 2021:

Father of the year material here.

Too cute...

zeuser comments on Apr 26, 2021:

Following.

Asskisser and mini mushroom cocksucker Lindsay Graham says he is not impressed by Biden's first 100 ...

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2021:

Joe's got himself an administration full of hit men. It is about time, I might mention, that we actually have the hammer. This'll take time, but it's working.

The Grammar Police are everywhere...

zeuser comments on Apr 25, 2021:

Now THAT is hilarious! LOL

& the winner is...

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2021:

I won my high school science fair once, I placed third the year before. I didn't have the wheel up my sleeve, but it was better than pointy stick. LOL

I wish I had thought of this.... [babylonbee.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2021:

Whoops! They caught us! LOL

Talk about Hogging the road...DAMN!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 23, 2021:

Makin' bacon! Squeal for me, baby! LOL

Now duct tape is challenged. 😂

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2021:

Wow! Can it do all of those things well, though? LOL

Follow instructions

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2021:

They taunt you when you miss the big straight, so that's the silver lining.

“Without pain, how could we know joy?

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2021:

Too true. LOL

I am wondering if and when I will ever reach level 8.

zeuser comments on Apr 22, 2021:

Persistence is important as well as patience. Wait til you see how long it takes to get to level 9. LOL

Pretty much, yeah.

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2021:

You mean this is true for everybody?

And bigger than Rosie O’Donnell’s

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2021:

That's the only thing he's able to absorb.

A good come on

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2021:

Hey Mary Magdelene! Quit fucking around and get down from there!

Musicians as kids

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2021:

That is a great gag! LOL

Ugly corpse at that

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2021:

Med student: Hey Prof! This guy doesn't have a heart! Prof: Yeah, but look at the size of that butthole.

Hot damn! Instant Karma wango tango asshole! [abc7.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 21, 2021:

When cat scratch fever is more than just a song. Too bad this wasn't around in the 60's, he could've used it to avoid the draft and avoid shitting in his pants for a week at the same time.

Yup an accurate observation

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2021:

This is a normal consequence of having his brains up his ass.

What a PERFECT description!!

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2021:

Yeah, that's him all right.

O.K. now it's my turn!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 20, 2021:

Look at the birdeee! LOL

State motto of Texas...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2021:

Let's see those longhorned fuckers try that shit on the Schuylkill. Who am I kidding? They would fit right in.

We all know a "self-entitled cyclist". 🤣 [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2021:

I am not a cyclist, but I can still relate. :)

Time for a math question...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2021:

"Less than or equal to one time" doesn't really sound any more reassuring.

I can identify with this one...

zeuser comments on Apr 19, 2021:

Who says you can't improve classic design? Well, at least for a cheap gag, but still. LOL

Justice Department Sues Trump Crony Roger Stone For Alleged $2 Million In Unpaid Taxes ...

zeuser comments on Apr 17, 2021:

Stone should be in jail. Capo Orange pardoned this obvious criminal. Lawsuits like this one rarely work, although I hope they prove me wrong. I have more respect for the stuff I scrape off of the bottom of my shoe than I do for Stone.

Just when You MIGHT Have thought It Was Safe to go Into The Water, Again?: [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2021:

Just like the "corpse plant" attracts pollinating flies by emitting the odor of a rotting corpse, this should be an irresistable draw for all the white power bigots in the house -- and they are legion.

Pretty accurate he is that

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2021:

I always picture him as "painful rectal itch", but this is close enough. LOL

Trump Can Now Be Prosecuted As Government Confirms His Campaign Worked With Russia

zeuser comments on Apr 16, 2021:

He certainly deserves it and all the jail time they can legally impose. However, I doubt this will go to trial, and if it does, he'll walk. That's not what I want to happen, but that's what will probably happen. He has done it before. :(

I kinda like this take better. How about you?

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2021:

Everybody loves physic-al humor.

Boo to you!

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2021:

Probably a guy from Philly.

How many are doing this

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2021:

I stopped checking on this a while ago. LOL

With a casino, the house is designed to win about 99.

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2021:

He been skimming and scamming for decades. Born on third base, thinks he hit a triple.

It's high time to address these atrocities!

zeuser comments on Apr 15, 2021:

Those are pretty ducking funny.

This really has nothing to do with Trump except that it's all about GREED and THEFT...

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2021:

Nobody is really sorry that he's gone for good.

Bernie Madoff, infamous Ponzi schemer, has died - CNN

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2021:

There are lots of guys like Bernie out there who may never be caught, and people deliberately giving money to them every day. Bernie just didn't have his escape route established well enough. Good riddance in any event.

Amazingly stupid preacher/pastor. [newsweek.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2021:

Sure they will. And Ted Cruz will drop the beat. LOL

Putin’s right hand man!!

zeuser comments on Apr 14, 2021:

I bet they suspended his stipend.You think?

Snitches get skritches.

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

Don't ask the question if you can't handle the cold, hard truth. 🤣

Gwen Shocks a Christian I was in Walmart today and, as is my wont, struck up a conversation with...

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

That's cute. I remember telling a JW at the door that I was an atheist, and he told me he was sorry to hear it, which made me laugh. He came back the next day to apologize to me, which impressed me. Then I asked him if he wanted to help me sacrifice the goat in the back yard. And they say we have no sense of humor. LOL

Rep.

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

Cawthorn is an extra special super duper fun size fuckwad. NC assholery at its absolute finest. To be fair, he is a pretty good representative of the mouth-breathers in his district.

Never have figured out those danged new-fangled gadgets...

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

The "LOL's" are the embarrassing part.

Not sure, is this a porn ad?

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

If that's a porn ad, kneeling is just step one.

Crazy how much those things cost

zeuser comments on Apr 13, 2021:

Shit, I wish I knew this was an option 35 years ago.

That's a major ouch moment

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2021:

Yikes!

Incoming!!!!

zeuser comments on Apr 12, 2021:

Rare shot of the stork delivering a baby. LOL I saw this picture on Facebook and I stole that description, which I love. ;)

No man is an island.

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2021:

I think he is in a famous series.

Why hire P.

zeuser comments on Apr 11, 2021:

Yeah, that should work. Jesus Marie, what a moron.

A fresh new widow on the market.

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2021:

For that kind of money? I'd hit it.

The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas. Alfred Whitney Griswold

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2021:

Smarter people are helpful, too.

Former Family Source Hit Out At Ivanka Trump, Implied That "Jared Is Gay And It’s An Arranged ...

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2021:

Smearing this "family" is, honestly, pointless. To ruin someone's reputation, one must have an unsullied reputation to ruin. Who gives a flat-assed fuck what these freaks do? Anybody?

Now that's a great advertisement

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2021:

Not really a carbon *footprint*, per se.

This time Tucker the racist fucker will be fired. Opinions? [businessinsider.com]

zeuser comments on Apr 10, 2021:

All publicity is good publicity. Fox lives in this truism.

Oh well if scientists said it

zeuser comments on Apr 9, 2021:

Dude, really?

Too busy to write

zeuser comments on Apr 9, 2021:

I miss Jim Unger.

Fair question.

zeuser comments on Apr 7, 2021:

I convey a lot with my facial expressions. Botox can't help my ass anyway. No for me.

There is no truth to the rumor that Matt Gaetz is opening a camp for children that are about to be ...

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2021:

I'm still not sure why these guys are walking free.

Jewish Haiku ( from my Jewish friends - who else?

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2021:

That is hilarious! 🤣

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2021:

Yup.

By the way, have you seen my cat

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2021:

Woman, looking at the stone: Did i just hear a cat meow?

Yup this is accurate

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2021:

Yeah, burned toast.

So the orange man wants people to boycott Coke.

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2021:

He already said he would still drink their "garbage product". For a guy with a short pudgy crank, he sure steps on it a lot.

HELL HATH NO FURY! :-D

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2021:

Very funny. She had her ex in stitches.

These are too good not to share.

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2021:

I tried to find something like a byline or attribution, but I could not. These were posted on twitter by a guy called Snark with the @ designation mister2gooden2. That doesn't mean he created them, but he's the guy putting them out there. Best I could do, sorry. They look similar to stuff that Mad magazine used to do, but that's just speculation on my part. They are funny though, very biting and quite accurate. Interestingly, there is a lively genre out there if you google "republican clown caricatures". Left as an exercise for the studious atheist.

A lesson learned the hard way.

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2021:

Jpegs, or it never happened. 🤪

“The earth is dead.

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2021:

I dunno about this guy, but I go for pizza, crab legs, and filet mignon. But hey dude, you do you. 😁

Keep your eyes on the road boys...........oops!

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2021:

No gag has ever failed by making fun of the over-active male libido. LOL

There's the Oxford comma and...

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2021:

Best way to avoid premature punctuation.

What has four letters

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2021:

Cute. Sometimes we all overlook the obvious by looking for more than what is plainly in front of us.

Guess who got their state's stadium to miss out on the All Star Game?

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

I heard that tv shows and movies filming in GA are moving to Vancouver and Toronto. Nice job, you backwoods bigoted asswipes. I remember GA was the beneficiary when NC passed that stupid bathroom bill, and now that it's gone around once, it is coming back around for the Georgia Klan rednecks. WAAAAAHAHAHAHA

I always thought this too, even as a kid. WTF would be so good about it?

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

I always wondered the same thing. I mean yeah, Jesus, WTF?

NO. IT'S NOT ME! 🤣

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

This is a legitimate complaint. Obviously a cock up by the admin. LOL

Why does everyone have to take things so literally?

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2021:

Hah, nailed it!