Almost Friday!!!! 🙀😺🎉

zeuser comments on Apr 5, 2024:

Taking a selfie while wearing mirrored sunglasses can also be surprisingly revealing. 😲 These are great, Michelle!

Find your favorite movie! I found mine (this post belongs here. Trust me 😀 )

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2024:

That's uncanny. Worked like a charm. 🤣

“How we pay attention to the present moment largely determines the character of our experience, ...

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2024:

It shouldn't, but it always surprises me how many people simply do not pay attention to *anything* going on around them.

At least he got something...

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2024:

Riker was always a little slow.

How can I get one of those?

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2024:

Two nuns in a car at a stoplight, a bat lands on the hood and turns into a vampire. The sister behind the wheel says to the other "Good lord, Sister Mary Margaret, lean out the window and show him your cross!" Sister Mary Margaret leans out the window and yells "Get off the fucking hood, you buck-tooth freak!" ;)

A cult to say the least!

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2024:

If one of those nuns gets a bun in the oven from Father McGillicuddy, voting for the guy who repealed Roe (well, his paid assassin judges did, but that's splitting hairs) probably wouldn't be that attractive.

Wednesday Afternoon Memes!

zeuser comments on Apr 4, 2024:

Hah, that's her all right! I recognize the callouses. Great group of laughs here today, MG.

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a ...

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2024:

You have to be comfortable being alone to do this. It takes a long time for other people to find your trail. I know this from personal experience.

On my bucket list...

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2024:

Hey, Mount Adriaaaaaaannnnn!

Kadet Bone spurs!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Apr 3, 2024:

Yuck! My eyes!

Anything for the great leader

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2024:

Imagine what mom and dad must be like.

Trump: When I'm Jerking Off 2 Guys At The Same Time - YouTube

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2024:

Practicing for a summit with Putin and Kim Jong Un.

Trump's new fund raising

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2024:

I bet when he peels off the orange plastic spray, this is what you get right now.

Weird how that works out…

zeuser comments on Apr 2, 2024:

Now that Bernie Madoff is gone, they need some other way to waste their money.

April Fools Day 🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Apr 1, 2024:

Classic pound, with strawberries and whipped cream! You'll never do anything else..Nice selection here tonight, MG!

Well that was as quick as I expected.

zeuser comments on Apr 1, 2024:

The morons who originally bought the shares at silly prices to prop up this hot mess, because of the cult, will lose a lot of it, if not all of it, soon enough. I wonder if there are people who are shorting this, and also who those guys might be.. Listen to the swirling of the stock as it rolls down into the shitter, like the documents he used to flush while he was in the white house.

MAGA Crowd Deranged By Satirical Trump Bible So, as we've all heard, Donald Trump has started ...

zeuser comments on Apr 1, 2024:

We should melt them all down and make meat donuts for the polar bears at the zoo.

Happy Easter!!! 🐰🐣🧟

zeuser comments on Apr 1, 2024:

Even I would attend the service if I knew your metal buddies were gonna show up. Happy zombie day, MG!

Colin Jost on Weekend Update: "This Bible is mostly the same, but trump's version ends with ...

zeuser comments on Apr 1, 2024:

That deranged whack job Jesus hater Pontius Pilate suffered from Jesus derangement syndrome. LOL

Florida swimsuits but reportedly it is doctored

zeuser comments on Mar 31, 2024:

I'd rather check these for m'self. Just to, um, be sure. 😜

Slow night at work , u know , everybody is waiting for jesus boy to do his thing , THEN they will ...

zeuser comments on Mar 31, 2024:

Good choices, all of them. Gotta feel a little sorry for Ben's wife, but she picked him.

Instagram link, pretty funny! [instagram.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2024:

Good advice!

Happy Good Friday or something like that!

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2024:

Ass marks on the table - an old blues tune. Steady beat, interesting percussion sounds, a screaming finale. LOL These are great, MG!

I will be glad when trump finally improves the world.

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2024:

Laughing through the tears.

Batter's up! Don't blink now, or you'll miss that curveball...

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2024:

Working from home....*snort*

Ain't that the truth...

zeuser comments on Mar 28, 2024:

Nobody does.

Stuck in my mom's endocrinologist's office waiting for her to be seen, this one doctor's ...

zeuser comments on Mar 28, 2024:

Hot pockets, fueling knuckle dragging mouth breathers for 40 years. Good bunch here MG!

The new definition of chutzpa, how can anyone fall for this carnival barker bullshit.

zeuser comments on Mar 27, 2024:

Waaaay too many people, BC.

Yes it is that time of the week again and someone is getting humped... [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 27, 2024:

Self-delusion makes fools of those who succumb to it.

Random memes today!

zeuser comments on Mar 27, 2024:

I'd like to see somebody try to sell that lasagna to real Italians. LOL Good job today, MG.

How long until he starts calling Jesus a liberal stooge and adds the gospel of Trump, ...

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2024:

That's our flimflam man, fleecing the rubes.

" are u mad at me "? Yes . 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2024:

I wish someone would pay me to say motherf#cker. I'd be rich! Thanks, Pralina, good ones.

" who took my ... ". Omfg every night 🙄, who took my pen ???

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2024:

Even cute cockroaches go down when I see 'em. Butterflies are harder to catch. LOL Good ones, hon.

I was collecting in case i am able to post again💪💪💪🦇🦇🦇🦇

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2024:

Oh, those are wicked funny! Well done! 😁

Ah, the good old days

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2024:

Yup. Then mom would say "Stop bleeding on the kitchen floor!"

It's all true ladies...

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2024:

It's all fun until we talk about toppings. LOL

Another funny.

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2024:

I'm thinking...

Trump awards himself some golf trophies.

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2024:

Does he really think anyone believes that shit? I mean, I can smell it from here.

Donald Trump needs to find $712m by tonight as part of a civil fraud case.

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2024:

Maybe he'll see the error of his ways and just stop swindling people? NAAAAAHHH! 🤪🤣

He really is the stupidest one, isn’t he?

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2024:

Nice beard though. *snort*

Seen online and had to share.

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2024:

I'm the same, but leave off the healthy relationship part.

Party, Party, it's Sunday and I'm still in bed!

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2024:

Woodpeckers peck anything. They destroyed one of my roof beams a couple of years back. Good set, MG.

Christians are really strange.

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2024:

Seems legit to me. Put your money where your nail holes are.

See if I can post with memes!

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2024:

They're putting wine and beer bars in grocery stores here in NC. Not sure about Marshall's. Hmm, I guess I should post something now.

Why every world map is wrong - Kayla Wolf - YouTube

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2024:

Nope, I can't get anything to post either. It's http error 500, which is like saying "something's wrong". This is an internal server catchall error, and it looks like here it only affects posting articles. Maybe it's a PHP overload or something. This needs to be fixed on the server side. Does this site have a server admin? I know somebody updated the certificate recently, so somebody must be there somewhere. Too bad, I have some funny stuff ready to roll. ;)

Incomprehensible [cnn.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2024:

There's nothing anyone can do to this woman that will bring that innocent child back to life. I can't imagine the horror that poor baby felt. 😔

Tump has been a fake his entire life, it is now on display for all to see.

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2024:

Self-proclaimed "King of Debt". What did y'all think he meant by that? PT Barnum without any of the ethics.

Friday Challenge

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2024:

Meth Leppard

He has been dashing, boasting and basking until it's time to guarantee the court penalties

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2024:

The self-proclaimed "King of Debt". Waiting for a phone call from MBS.

Ladies, good men are hard to find.

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2024:

At least he's taking care of his kids. Probably not very well, but still.

Desperate for cash

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2024:

If he couldn't win when he owned casinos, he sure ain't gonna get much better at it with megamillions.

But serious Unusual Number of Bald, Beardless Men Going into Barbershop Leads to Drug Bust ...

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2024:

Well somebody got clipped here. LOL

This will cheer you up

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2024:

What a waste of skin. And hair gel, TBH.

Ouch, that doesn't look fun!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2024:

Oooo, I used to go to my 8:30 class after leaving the bar back in the 70's. I was a lot younger then. Good set, MG. If a man makes noise during sex, and there is nobody there but him, does it really make a sound? LOL

Interested in buying a Tiki Bar on Kaua'i?

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2024:

If I was 20 years younger and capitalized like I am right now I'd do it. Alas, that time has passed. Good luck to Michele, and Todd whose music I just adore. The Will Powers album is a personal favorite of mine.

Republicans are making noise on TikTok for a reason

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2024:

Not really a big secret.

Four days and COUNTING! I wonder if the larda$$ of Mar-A-Lardo will come up with 463 Biglies in time...

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2024:

No he won't, but I m curious what sort of weaselly maneuvers he will try to pull to gum up the forfeiture process. You just *know* that's what him and his crooked legal team are working on, nonstop, these days.

Oops not as rich as everyone thought was he... [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2024:

You got those small balls in your (hopefully gloved) hand, Tish. Start squeezin' 'em baby!

Lioness trying to attract an uninterested male. [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2024:

Who's not in the mood *this* time, Nala?

That's how it works

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2024:

She is a cutie, with that perpetual set of pouty lips. Must have knocked them dead in parking lot court.

He'll fight for his cause

zeuser comments on Mar 20, 2024:

The question here is, *whose* tits?

Halfway through the week!!! 🥳😱😵🤣🤣

zeuser comments on Mar 20, 2024:

I'll take an eight ball of that shit. LOL Good job today, hon.

Barely Tuesday!!!!! 😵😵😂😂

zeuser comments on Mar 19, 2024:

Ooo, I guess I'll be in my room. Alone. 😜 Very funny set today, MG!

Now these!!! Lol!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2024:

I'm surprised MBS hasn't put in a bid yet. Or, you know, maybe he has and there's still not enough. They will eventually nail Jared and Ivy too.

I get the hint here

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2024:

Now there's two peas in a pod. LOL

Someone can’t come up with 456 million…

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2024:

Maybe cue the bloodbath a little earlier than he wanted? What a shiftless indolent douche-canoe.

Whiny little bitch, wants immunity from paying his bills.

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2024:

I wonder how many simply didn't answer the phone, closed the shades, and pretended they weren't home. 😜

Oh Daddy!!! 🤮🤮🤮🤮

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2024:

To marry a thieving putz like Jared, you just KNOW she can control that gag reflex.

Good morning beautiful people!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2024:

We all need your sense of humor, MG!

The other night I was invited out for a night with the “girls".

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2024:

You can never beat a true cuckoo at its own game. 😏

I'm hangry, I need to eat!!!! Not sure about that sandwich but I'm starving!!!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2024:

I LOVE Len Pennie! You ought to look for her "scots word of the day" on insta, and she has some dynamite feminist poetry. Anyway, good set as usual, you spoil us, Michelle!

I don't like a flat soda for sure

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2024:

Doesn't bother me. Let's see 'em. LOL

What in the name of fuck is this guy talking about.... [twitter.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2024:

Now that right there is a metric ton of stale manure. Jesus Tits.

Are you happy to see me Chewy?! 😂😂😂

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2024:

We all know a raccoon like that. Good set, MG!

Another meme dump of Idiocracy!

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2024:

These are great! My guess is number 5, btw. LOL

Red Hats

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2024:

Well, was he asking for it?

He must be a good debater in HS

zeuser comments on Mar 15, 2024:

That is a fellatious argument. Heh.

Is this a common problem?

zeuser comments on Mar 15, 2024:

This will not deter the showoffs, and it may in fact make doing it more appealing if Bubba knows there's going to be an audience.

I'm sooooooo tired!!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 14, 2024:

Schlong Island, eh? Probably a code name for the nudist beach. Oh, and I will be your papa John. 😜 Very funny set today, MG.

Are all these maga people that stupid? Oh wait…never mind. Resistence is futile! [x.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 13, 2024:

Yeah, I've heard shit like this. 🙄

Donnie boy needs to come up with half a billion in just over 2 weeks, lol.

zeuser comments on Mar 13, 2024:

Rubles. Ten to one it's in rubles. Anybody?

This time change sucks!

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2024:

Gotta keep your eye on the frogs, they don't call them croakers for nothing. LOL Good set, MG.

So Desperate Donnie has managed to find over 90 Biglies for his appeal.

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2024:

No reputable company would post a bond that they will almost certainly lose. I'm guessing there is Russian money behind it, and one more hook in this lardass to manipulate him with.

In the immortal words of Nelson Muntz "haha" [nbcnews.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2024:

Insane dumbass does the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Just like cancer, he will be gone and I will be glad, can't be soon enough.

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2024:

That's right, you scarecrow, keep walking, beat it, hit the road, take off, get lost. *hard kick to the rear end*

The response to the response to the state of the union

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2024:

ScarJo was much more appealing on SNL inhabiting this character. Roll tide.

Monday, ugh!!!! I want to sleep more!!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2024:

When you have two problems, one of them may be a solution in disguise. Give the whoreless pimp some of the nutsack cookies.

Large Marge

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2024:

They love her in Calhoun, though. Lordy, what a waste of skin.

Just saying

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2024:

Punching down is the republican way. Assbags, all of them.

Sen.

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2024:

At least she was considerate enough to wear that demure cross necklace to immediately show us that she is an unabashed serial fabulist.

Got to make up for that lost hour of sleep

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2024:

Yeah, something like that. It's all still with us.

Happy Sunday Morning! 🌞😊😵😭🤣🤣🤣🤣

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2024:

I'll never touch another McRib. And I don't think I could get away with calling it a "meat sleeve". Outstanding set, MG. 😄

I think some confusion here

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2024:

Hey, at least I'm here at high noon, like you said.

Morning Motherfuckers or Shit heads, whichever you prefer! 😂😂😂😂 Hope you all have a ...

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2024:

Weiner in the front, exhaust in the back. I wish I could hide like that cat, too. LOL Good ones, hon.

What a stressful week!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2024:

Morning shitheads! LOL Good bunch today, MG.

What did he expect for $2.00.

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2024:

A guy is walking back from a pier in Boston with a couple of buckets, each containing a big lobster. A game warden stops him, says "I have to write you up for poaching." The guy says "Now just wait a minute. These are my pet lobsters. I take them to the ocean every night and let them roam around. Then I call them and they come back." The game warden is skeptical. "So you let the lobsters go, then call them and they come back?" "Yep", the guy says. The game warden says "I got to see this. Let's go back to the ocean, and if you can call back your lobsters after you let them go, I won't cite you." "Ok", the guy says. They walk back to the ocean, the guy dumps the lobsters into the water, then starts to walk away. The game warden says "Hey, aren't you going to call your lobsters back, like you said?" The guy says "What lobsters?"

Jesus will hang with you

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2024:

If it gets me to the nipple play stage, well all right. But there are much better ways to handle this. IMHO, of course.

A man is a man. ;)

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2024:

Ok, I can take a joke, but I generally try to avoid broad brush tropes that are meant to shame or demean entire groups of people. On the other hand, yeah, guys are guys.

I think my best mate is having an affair with my wife. He's been miserable lately.

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2024:

Awww..

well, as someone once famously said "I really don't care."

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2024:

It was dark, but I remember slurping sounds and the smell of slovenian Slivovka Plum Brandy combined with Burger King aromas. Could that have been her? A lot of people are saying that, according to an untrustworthy source. LOL