a former judge sends a big FU to the Supreme court and Justice Roberts [slate.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 13, 2020:

Good man, sorry to see him go, but I understand.

Why? It is a very good question!

zeuser comments on Mar 13, 2020:

Went to the store yesterday, still plenty of wine. I got a pack of hotdogs and some buns just to be on the safe side.

Hannity Claims Deep State May Be Using Coronavirus to Hurt Economy Fox News host and unofficial...

zeuser comments on Mar 13, 2020:

At the very best, Hannity is simply a stupid and hackneyed prick with ears. But his status as a Russian propagandist in service of a bought and paid for republican administration and senate majority is probably his most reprehensible role. Fair to say he's an egregiously unpatriotic traitor, an outstandingly disgusting apologist for the nazi's currently in charge, and a racist asshole redolent with the aroma of fresh horseshit and stale smegma. IMHO, of course.

Imbecile Pastor With Prediction: “Trump honors Israel, and it’s a massive difference,” he ...

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2020:

Wow, this type of shit would be illegal in the ideal zeuser world.

A few examples that speak to members of a certain 'stage of life'.

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2020:

I pick my seat at a movie based on how quickly I can leave to take a leak and get back without missing much.

Show us your most "liked" photo.

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2020:

My daughter and then girl friend in 2016 at the Apex fall music festival. Most liked photo of the year.

There is a difference

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2020:

I'd like to talk to the guy who can wad up a whole box of tissues in a single night. I'd love to ask about the things he eats.

Meanwhile, in a parallel universe.

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2020:

Oh I wish.

Yup sure you are

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2020:

Gotta go where the market takes you.

“I mean, you could claim that ‘anything’ is real if the only basis for believing in it is ...

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2020:

And yet this is a common stance, which always pains me.

In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were ...

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2020:

Don't expect to find him any time soon, kid.

I am not looking for him

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2020:

Typically, hellhounds will find *you*.

In 2018, Trump Fired the Entire Chain of Command for Pandemic Response Because Obama

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2020:

Of course he did.

If any non-falsifiable evidence of a god's existing came to light, I would be persuaded to change my...

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2020:

Ask me again when you can point me to actual verifiable evidence.

With Passover around the corner, I thought I'd pass along some Jewish wisdom

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2020:

Hah! Reminds of the old question, do you know what the word "turd" means in Yiddish? A little piece of shit about 2-4 inches long.

(Not) For Public Information

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2020:

It's a hard habit to break, for sure.

Hey, when you are up against the deep, dark wall of your own ignorance, what else would you do?

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2020:

Well, if he doesn't say anything then at least he's not lying.

"Lemon Pickers Needed" read the ad in the newspaper Ms.

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2020:

HAAAHHHahahahahahaha!

despite the passing of millenia, history seems to be repeating itself

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2020:

It was also burning last year. Probably gonna burn again this year.

VW bug look out

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2020:

My first car was a 1970 bug.

It's quite fair to say that Trump has revealed his true self, no end of bullshitting can help him ...

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2020:

When you look inside his bag of tricks, you've got projection, insults, bullying, deflection, and bullshitting. It's one or the other of those each and every time, and many times a symphony of many of these elements together, seasoned with self-congratulations and mindless boasting.

An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2020:

The classics never get old. Ordinarily, I don't like jokes where some group - ethnic, gender, physical characteristic, age or disability - is the butt of the joke. However, in this case, it's the person with the prejudice who is ridiculed. So you get a pass on this one. And I, above all, understand you need to take risks for humor.

🐷 Trump says corona virus is minor compared to the flu.

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2020:

Him? Think of someone else? Are you serious? LOL

Using optical illusion to your advantage

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2020:

False advertising!

He is nice

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2020:

"We're also running a special on tit magnolias today."

Must be a very strange story there

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2020:

The guy with the pockets was tired of the guy without the pockets always losing the keys. So..

Lol she does

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2020:

The shirt is a given. It's the buttons that are getting a lot of trust here.

Trump tweeted that corona virus is fake news

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2020:

I wish this fuckwit was fake news.

Here is the list. Let's get moving on this one. One by one.. out the door they go.

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2020:

I'll take Tillis. Y'all got the rest.

This really has the potential to become a thing...

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2020:

Schroedinger's pet.

At least somebody was paying attention.

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2020:

Client communication is crucial.

trump's favorite song.....

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2020:

I remember seeing parodies using this when W, another notable republican nitwit, was in office, .

[newsthump.com] Bringing the virus under control

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2020:

I think that may well be the thinking, if that's what you want to call it.

Little present for you

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2020:

It's a flerken! Watch out, they go for your eyes!

Don’t look too hard!

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2020:

That's hilarious!

Hello from Texas

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2020:

I did this. Just once. Also, this is one of the times you should wash thoroughly *before* you take a leak. That is even more of an eye opener.

Other people's misery makes good business

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2020:

Hey, when opportunity knocks...

Makes sense

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

Finally, somebody gets me.

Corona Offer $15 Million To Help Change Coronavirus Name To BudLightvirus

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

You gotta love marketing.

Believers don't need proof

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

This won't take long, did it?

Trump Awards Tiger Woods Presidential Medal of Adultery - Alternative Facts

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

Gives new meaning to the term "ball washer".

Ive been converted! To the church of the flying spaghetti monster! How do I tell my family?

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

You can say it with a saucy comment, or by making a cheesy joke.

Former GOP Congressman Aaron Schock Comes Out as Gay, Surprising No One: The Illinois lawmaker was...

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

I'd say that sucks, but if it did he'd probably enjoy it.

Under a Democratic president, McConnell vows a return to total obstruction [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

Whistling past the graveyard. Your time is almost up, turtle boy.

Another WTF moment brought to by the Outlier

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

Yeah he's smart, for an arsewipe.

Oh...this Mormons!

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

Wait a minute, I can't see any underwear on those stick figures.

What a nasty POS

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

Could this woman be any more tone-deaf?

This explains a lot.

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

Hope it wasn't the nose-pickin' finger.

A virus alert in Germany

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2020:

Common sense can be fun!

Not a lot of folk know this.

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

This sounds a little fishy. In God's kingdom, I know for a fact they smoke Salem Ultra-light 100's, not Camels . LOL

Trump Supporters Interrupt Sanders Rally; Nazi Flag With Swaztikas

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

President Trump denounced this. (wait for it) Just jivin' y'all. He didn't say shit, and I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for him to say anything either. Nazis love him, and vice versa. As Obama said after Charlottesville, "How hard is it to say Nazis are bad?" https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2018/09/07/obama-stand-up-to-nazi-sympathizers-sot-ip-vpx.cnn

IT IS FRIDAY.

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

In my catholic high school, on Fridays during lent, we had the most awful mac and cheese you can imagine - HTF can you screw up mac and cheese? But we did it. Either that or shitty pizza. If we dared to complain, we were told to "offer it up for the souls in purgatory". I'm not offering up anything these days, so those poor bastards will fry for just a while longer. LOL

Spock's Vulcan salute should replace handshakes in coronavirus era - CNET

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Oh, like this is something new? Some of us are nerdy enough that we've been doing it for years. We are the visionaries.

‘The Trump effect’: One overlooked aspect of Super Tuesday spells good news for Democrats in ...

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Good start. Ignore all the propaganda you'll be seeing and hearing, come out again and vote in November, and this time, everyone bring at least one buddy with you.

Part 2 of hysterically accurate memory lane

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Back when coins counted. Now, I just pay with full dollars and take all the change in my pocket at the end of the day and put it in a jar. This is still old school, because I frequently pay with cash.

Trump Says Folks With Mild Coronavirus Can Still Go To Work In a recent interview with Sean ...

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

So what if the virus spreads, for the couple of minutes after he says this he's thinking "I look great".

MAJOR voter suppression!! 😡 ‘Voter suppression, plain and simple’: Texas closed hundreds of ...

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Well, lynching is illegal so they gotta do *something*.

“Silence is better than unmeaning words”..................Pythagoras.

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

This sounds like a second Pythagorean theorem.

There are a lot like this

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

You could just leave Schroedinger out of it and you'd still be right.

WHO Chief Dr.

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

Hey, it's good for the economy. But don't take my word for it. https://www.newsweek.com/trump-coronavirus-outbreak-i-like-that-people-are-now-staying-us-spending-money-us-1490828

A groundhog with attitude

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

If this was my garden, and I saw his shadow, it would be 6 weeks of groundhog fazoo for dinner.

Trump goes to India.

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

I believe if the Indian people know what an anti-Muslim bigot he is, then yes.

From CNN: Federal judge blasts William Barr for Mueller report rollout [cnn.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

A step in the right direction, however tepid, yet a good start.

It is Friday people!

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2020:

I never won an argument, so I have no idea if this is true.

Memory lane... hysterical memory lane (at least for me). Part 1.

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Too true.

How many could use this

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

I just leave my shoe on. So far, no infections I can tell.

Can a slovenly hoarder change his habits?

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Even if you clean his place out, he will backslide and it will look the same in a few months. Do you want to undertake the job of continual upkeep? It sounds pretty clear he's made the decision to just wallow. If he decides to do anything at all, that's a first step. Asking someone else to do it for him is NOT a first step. IMO of course. Good luck, hon.

Medicine against Corona

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

If you are in a hurry, you can skip the sprayer part and just drink directly from the bottle.

Trump is now trying to blame Obama for his coronavirus response

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Ask the people at his rallies. They agree with him whatever ignorant, stupid, moronic horseshit he vomits out, and they'll argue with you about it even when presented with unassailable proof.

Yup its true

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Let's not start listing the things that *I'M* older than, all right?

Warren is dropping out. I'm sad.

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Shit, I just heard this on the radio. My support seems to be the kiss of death, first Senator Harris, now Senator Warren.

Happens to my wife all the time.

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Happened to me yesterday. Not sure why people tell me shit like that.

O U C H !!!

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

The classics never die.

But, but, that's not his face...it's his butt!: [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

He'd lie if you asked him for the time, just for the practice.

Scared me straight..no more shoplifting! 😂

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I wonder how many people looked at that sign and involuntarily yawned.

Witticisms for the month: Money Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things ...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Lots of insight here. Unfortunate insight.

Your new favorite cosplay

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

This guy's sensible shoes lost me. He needs 2 inch lifts in each of them to be realistic.

Still pending some results, obviously now we have Bernie and Biden as the contenders, Warren should ...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I can't come up with anything that would help Senator Warren turn it around, although I wish I could. I'm skeptical about the electability of either Tail Gunner Joe or Bernie. I'm sympathetic to getting a progressive in office to make structural changes, and I think that idea has a LOT of merit. But democrats vote how they vote. Remember this is not a national referendum, it is a state by state struggle, with only a handful of states really in play. I don't like that at all, but here we are. Sometimes you need to take a step sideways before you can take a step forward, as well as to avoid taking several steps backward. This whole thing blows. You can quote me on this.

line from the new Jim Carrey show "Kidding" : "The world is filled with lunatics who think that the ...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I'm not sure where this puts me, but I'm pretty sure I resent the implication.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do like messing with people's minds. It's what I do for a living.

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

My dad did this when we were in the car and he saw someone sitting on their porch. He'd toot the horn and wave, and laugh like a bastard as we drove away. Good times.

GOP blocking coronavirus bill — because it limits how much drugmakers can charge for a vaccine: ...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

What's more important than life and health? Well, money of course. Vote Republican, while you are still alive! (This is sarcasm, because sometimes people take me literally here.)

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island.

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Tough decision.

Would work on me

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

There are quite a few words to describe people who sell themselves without regard to personal dignity, integrity, or modesty. Y'all can come up with a couple of them, I'm sure. I sure can.

Yeah, but does he know where the clitoris is.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

If that's the lord that's touching me, I glad he's ambidextrous. LOL

People Are Photoshopping Trump As a Little Kid Just To Annoy Him

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Childish, but yeah, very funny.

I've always adored her singing, but she's a damned good writer to boot ... [variety.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Those of us who agree with her love this piece. But the words simply bounce off of the people for whom it would do the most good. The point is there are more of us than them. It doesn't make a difference, though, if we are not united. We can squabble after the biggest threat is eliminated. I hope that turns out to be true. Doing what I can. *sigh*

Still funny after all these years.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

You always knew how it was going to wind up, but it happened a different way each time. It's an old and successful formula: the Hardy Boys, The A team, any James Bond movie, Romance novels, Rocky movies. You have a template, you fill it up. The humor is the unpredictability of the action within the predictable framework. Plus, it's a cartoon - nobody ever gets hurt, not really. The road runner/coyote series is only a small part of Jones' oeuvre, but a sweet part.

NOW I AM IMMUNE TO THE CORONA VIRUS...BECAUSE I KNOW 'CORONA' MEANS "CROWN"!

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

So, you're saying ginger kills corona virus?

A true sociopath.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Contribute your golfing money, you grifting, traitorous son of a bitch.

If the Dems are successful this fall, there is a new safe haven for his Xtian supporters .

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

I'll chip in ten bucks to help them with moving expenses.

Yup...I agree with this!!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Same distinctive taste, too.

Good for business ?

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Gotta go with what the market is asking for.

Dr. Trump says RELAX!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

This is more coherent than what he's actually said.

I'm Gonna use call a friend on this one!

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Gotta go with B. I think they really dislike the "it's god's will" response, which is what they have left when you back them into a corner (and it ain't that difficult). I think it embarrasses them. So they avoid taking questions from people who aren't steeped in their horseshit already. IMO, of course.

My greatest zombie fear.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

That's the part nobody wants to talk about. Heh.

The latest view from Dr. Brandy Lee: [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

All because we've never seen a drooling lunatic in the oval office before and thus have never concocted any legal or extra-legal remedies. The ones we have, impeachment and removal via the 25th amendment, are both out of reach because of the hyper partisan divide that the nutjob in chief has made it his business to create and deepen.

A useful test to see where you stand politically; See the image below to see my profile.

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Reminds me of Meyers-Briggs, which also uses a forced choice instrument. I think M-B is a crock of shit, m'self. And this little quiz, well, it's kind of fun, like reading your horoscope. It shows me as a bleeding heart lefty, which is pretty close.

This is priceless unintentional humor ..[friendlyatheist.patheos.]

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Who the hell does he think this will fool?

This reminds me of how much I miss Jon Stewart! Nobody can deliver a punch like he can, and this ...

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

I miss him. Yeah, he can hammer it home all right. Thanks for the memories. 8-)

Who did this?

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

That's for when you want to give a flying fuck. LOL