Right on Derek. There comes a time when you just have to maintain your self-respect and let the users know that you have drawn the line. Good luck. ... Try to go back to third grade and tell yourself that you did the best you could under the circumstances. Then tell that bastard who planted your inferiority complex to get lost and vacate your head forever.

The question I have is what is your perspective of attractive? If you are thinking that based on physical appearance then I need to tell you something. A woman worth loving even as a friend will be attracted to conversations, and character. No-one judging you based on how you look is even worthy of a second thought.
The thought I had about your post resemble the comments already shared. You are on the right track. You shared your pain and you WILL receive support here.
Also, you do not need to be strong so much as you need to be brave and you evidently are!

Take care of yourself as best as you can.

Hi, D,

You get different website perks with different levels you earn with points earned by making comments and writing your own posts, and when you reach level eight you get an agnostic T-shirt.

To find members near you, click on the "Meet" button at the top of the page, then on "Members," and enter your preferred search parameters.

Or click on the "About" button at the top of the page to find links to FAQ or the website tutorial.
Click on the 'Meet" button to find member matches

Links to FAQ: [agnostic.com],
and a website tutorial: [agnostic.com]

Have fun!

Interesting self-assessment... I am curious as to the scales you apply.