Has anyone ever had the challenge of dealing with a man who’s old school? I am close to a former male colleague who is like a brother to me. We really care for each other but there is like zero romantic attachment. I’m even thinking of asking him to deliver the eulogy at my funeral. He lives in another state but comes here for business 3-4 times a year and we always go out to dinner. I was telling my current flame about how jealous my husband would get over this. He said he felt the same way. I tried talking to him about it but the conversation went south in a hurry. I’m not quite sure what to do. The one thing I know for sure is that I’m not giving up my dinners with my friend. Any advice?
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I think it is rare to have a single characteristic that exists without other, compatible characteristics- They tend to come in 'types'. If he is old school about that point I would watch out, as it is most likely he will be old school about a whole bunch of other things as well- One characteristic might be considered idiosyncratic- A whole bunch might make him pretty well insufferable!
StJohn
Level 6
June 11, 2018
0
@ProudMerry agreed! 8)
Oh goodness! It’s so common to have mixed sex friends these days (including LGBTQ), to not be ok with a friend of yours being other than the same sex as you is simply living with his head in the sand. Does he only have male friends? Perhaps this has a past nerve getting jostled? It is your life, he doesn’t own you first of all but if he cares for you he should be willing to communicate reasonably with you about it. Seems to me this situation should be handled with care and patience. Maybe let him bring it up next time if he feels ready to talk about it but in the mean time visit with your friend but keep it private.
SunshineBee
Level 5
June 11, 2018
0
An Indian once told me that in order to ask a question, one must already be fairly close to the answer.
Stick to your guns.
Even if he can't grasp it this time, by the next one he might remember where he screwed up.
This is especially relevant for us over 30, 40, 50 singles. We have long term friends we need to keep.
CallMeDave
Level 8
June 11, 2018
1
You have a flame and a husband?
Ellatynemouth
Level 8
June 11, 2018
1
Nothing wrong with open relationships or being polyamorous though.
Never talk about other men friends with your current ! Thats just looking for trouble.
VAL3941
Level 8
June 11, 2018
0
@ProudMerry
I said nothing of a kind. Don't be so presumptious ! Thats what you think I am saying !
Why? I think it's perfectly fine to have male and female friends. There has to be trust...otherwise what are you supposed to do, only go to female store clerks too? Where does it end?
@ProudMerry
Because it causes problems on many levels. Have them by all means, but don't discuss them ?
@Marcie1974
Have them all, but don't talk about them !
@VAL3941 why? Unless you’re insecure it shouldn’t be an issue
@RapidCityKelly
Thank you. At least someone has got it.
@Marcie1974
Has nothing to do with securities, don't be presumtious. It has to do with manners ?
@ProudMerry
OK! Your choice. You asked for advice, I gave it, what you do with it is your problem. I will always stand by you !
@VAL3941 so a woman should pretend other men do not exist....tell me, is a man allowed to speak of other women?
@Marcie1974
Also definitely not ? Thought that was a given ? So you think I am sexist ???
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