So my best friend has a boyfriend. He's perfect for her, unfortunately, and she's pretty sure he's 'the one'. He's a gun totin' redneck Bubba just like all the men in her family. I'm not fond of him, but he is exactly like the kinda man she always gets attracted to, and is perfect for her.
I should be happy for her, even though I always hoped she'd see reason and develop better taste in partners. She's so happy and honeymoon phase head over heels can't stop talking about him.
But I just feel irritated every time she gushes over him. It has gotten worse the longer they're together. I don't really understand it. He doesn't give me super "he's going to kill her in her sleep" vibes, he just gives me "redneck gun toting hillbilly" vibes which shouldn't bother me so much since 95% of my family is too.
Maybe I'm just jealous that someone is taking my best friend away? Or that I'm now the only single person in my friends group? Or maybe I've just become a nihilistic distrustful hardass?
I dunno. It makes me feel bad that I dislike him so much and that I dislike her being so head over heels for him. Sigh..
5
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7 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I can relate in some ways: being a sapiophile, "redneck" often implies lack of an education, which would be an immediate turn off for me (extensive self education counts as education).
When I hear "red neck" I also hear "watch this" followed by "hold my beer", leading to catastrophic failure.
It may be a stereotype, but I haven't met anyone to change my observations.
Agamic
Level 6
June 16, 2018
0
He is very much "hold my beer"
Outside of the "redneck gun toting hillbilly" vibe, is he a nice person?
indirect76
Level 7
June 13, 2018
0
Aside from the ridiculously overprotective, jealous, and armed I don't know. My ex-fiancee was loving and kind and overprotective and jealous until he put a knife to my throat and threw all my stuff out
@LadyAlyxandrea Some people are into the whole overprotective jealousy thing. I’ve had people in my life that didn’t like it if I did not respond that way.
It could be part of both. Most of my friends have kids, and hardly want to hang out. Especially if they meet a new sweetie. My friends have done that to me, but I never actually lost a friend. Simply don't talk or hang out with them as much.
I'd guess that you are very anti-gun. That's probably part of it. I myself sleep with a rifle, but I have a very good reason to.
TheGreatShadow
Level 9
June 12, 2018
0
I am not ANTIGUN I am anti-everyone and their dog gets all the military grade rifles!!!yaaaay you get a gun and YOU get a gun!!!
And because of how unnecessarily easy it is for everyone and their dog to get a gun, I'm especially uncomfortable around large redneck men with guns. Mostly because they're the ones who have sent me death threats and get drunk and shoot their wives
@LadyAlyxandrea I'm sorry that you have been threatened. I was taught to respect firearms. You always keep them high or low centered. Always treat them as if they are loaded, even if you are 100% unloaded. Never point a firearm at any living thing unless you intend to kill it. For humans, only if you are in direct threat, or war. I first learned how to fire a rifle when I was 3. Not a Davy Crockett story. Some people just don't know how to respect a firearm.
You are right about how easy it is to get a firearm. Fox News claims you can't go to a gun show, and pay cash w/o a background check. The hell if you can't! I've seen it! Several times! As far as the "military grade" part, you are somewhat right. Lots are sold as "mil spec", I have one that claims to be. The only thing that is is the BCG, which is MP tested. Look at your M1 or M1A. They don't qualify as an assault wepon, but were used during WW1. Another point is that some aftermarket companies make better firearms than was issued. My fathers Ruger is superior to an M-9. Also the Manlicher Carcana was a sniper rifle that the Italian military used for only a few years. It is a bolt action. My Remmington 710 is far superior to that.
@TheGreatShadow I've seen dozens sold to complete strangers on the internet. Not even looking at an id. A 17 year old just yesterday shot and murdered a guy I know. My best friend the one who is dating rootie tootie point and shootie, just a few weeks ago FaceTimed me shit faced and swinging a gun around. I was so angered and I told her parents about it. Even responsible people who respect guns can be really fucking stupid sometimes and I just...I'm not okay with people aside from cops having them around me unless I am at a shooting range
@LadyAlyxandrea How bout Military or ex-military? I was trained that way. In order to have a firearm sent you need a FFL. Or send it to someone that does. That makes matters worse.
@TheGreatShadow I think exmilitary need to go through a mental health screen. war-based PTSD is a horrible thing
@LadyAlyxandrea Policemen go through PTSD as well. I really wish people would stop refering to war-based injuries as PTSD. The original term was "shell shock", then "battle fatigue". One of my exes house got hit by a tornado. No one was there when it happened. She has PTSD. That sort of trauma s very different than being injured in war.
@TheGreatShadow I do not mean injuries I mean actual psychologically diagnosed PTSD, which is different for everyone. I have PTSD and yes I should NEVER own a gun, because I know I would make a terrible mistake one day with it. My autistic brother with explosive anger and no impulse control should never own a gun.
If I want to shoot a gun I go to a gun range with licensed professionals to watch me. Each case needs to be evaluated for mental problems that can cause a shooter.
I agree with RavenCT, but also unfortunately friendships do change and also when people have kids their priorities change, as you've no doubt noticed. This can be a difficult dynamic for those late to pair or who don't partner up.
Perhaps it's a good time to join a new club or try a hobby that you've always fancied but never got around to. I know this is not going to help your relationship with your friend, but it might help make new friends and give you new opportunities while she's busy with her new love? Plus it may extend your friendship if you don't have to hear how adorable her new redneck boyfriend is as much!
girlwithsmiles
Level 8
June 12, 2018
4
That's good advice. Thank you
Well, it sounds like your definition of "better" is what you're looking for. So, if she's happy, you should support her in this.
BTW, I count some "gun totin' rednecks" among my best friends group. You'd be surprised, maybe, at how intelligent and educated he might be.
bigpawbullets
Level 9
June 12, 2018
0
If I could be happy for her I wouldn't be complaining about how I wish I could feel happy for her
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