This is a rant based on a large number of posts bemoaning bad online dating experiences, lousy dates and the like. So many posts complain about lack of manners, picture not matching reality, the tired catch-phrases of the online world like baggage-free and no drama and I like walks along the beach.
We can all get fooled and have a bad experience, but all too often the complainer has clearly not put any effort into the selection process or pre-screening. For online sites like Match.com where there is ample space for input, you’ve in essence got a job application and entrance exam rolled into one even before you speak with them. So read it like a resume, critically, actually think about it instead of clicking based on looks or income, and if it doesn’t work is it really their fault? If a bad experience is rare or even one-time, sure, but more often than that?
Look in the mirror and take some responsibility.
For shorter format sites like Tinder, yes it is harder. But with just a tiny amount of work you can do some social media sleuthing and find plenty of content to evaluate.
I am curious to see the reaction to this.
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8 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I totally agree with your well written comment.
I'm tired of hearing people moan about their dating experiences. It speaks of a general materialistic, consumerist attitude, wrapped in entitlement, which also reveals a complete lack of self awareness.
I find women who complain about the salary a man earns or the shoes a man wears insufferable.
Likewise the men who don't take care of themselves, with bad teeth and pot bellies who are totally committed to the idea they're owed a catwalk model under 25.
Ellatynemouth
Level 8
June 13, 2018
1
I know my view on this is quite different to most, seeing as how one of the reasons I'm here is to see if I can start a relationship with a woman. I am nervous about personal info mainly because I'm no oil painting and I've no idea if I'm as fat as the photos of me that don't make it here seem to indicate or not. I have to admit I have a touch of sympathy for people who fudge such details online--they might, like me, be hoping their minds can impress potential partners enough to make up for their looks. I often feel that my mind is all I have going for me, and my substandard looks are a detriment. People don't often like to advertise their flaws.
memorylikeasieve
Level 7
June 13, 2018
0
@irascible Awrh, thank you. ?
I think that you offered valid points and I am not dating! When I was dating back in the day...I confess that I might have been looking for a miracle! Lol I wanted instant magic and I never found anyone who measured up! So I gave up and ‘attended’ to myself! I do not have that same mind set now and I am allowing ‘real,’ men to show up in my life! Life makes much more sense now!
Freedompath
Level 9
June 12, 2018
1
You are SOOO right. Even on this website, many/most of the men not only don't bother to write a profile or answer the profile questions; they start messaging women without so much as visiting their profiles.
This is so annoying and insulting, I often just block them.
birdingnut
Level 8
June 12, 2018
1
Studies show 82% of people lie about their height, age, job, income and/or weight on their online dating profile.
Don't blame the victim. Most of the time I don't recognize the man I'm meeting. Suddenly he aged 10 years, gained 50 lbs., and lost all his hair. As if I wouldn't notice.
Every man I met who said he was 5' 7" was 3-4 inches shorter than me. I'm 5' 5".
LiterateHiker
Level 9
June 12, 2018
3
I always notice that..but really if they don't care if I'm in heels and taller...I like that.
So, you're blaming the victim for being subjected to poorly written profiles?
GwenC
Level 7
June 12, 2018
4
Lol
Having been "the victim" on many occasions I have to disagree with your labeling. For every woman who has suffered the indignities of online dating there is a man who has suffered too. The key is not to think of yourself as a victim but to understand that there are no rules to the game. Is it unfortunate that you can't rely on what someone posts? Sure. But if you have any expectations after you've been burned a couple times, then yes it's on you. Kind of like still believing in an all powerful and all knowing god when you've been fucked over by life too many times. Dating is a crap shoot whether it be online or in the bar or somewhere else. If you care how they look then you need to go out and find them in public so you can see them first. If you think that because they went out with you 4 times, unless you agreed to exclusivity, that you have some hold on them or they owe you something, it just doesnt work that way. Do you need a thick skin? Absolutely. Do you have to do your due diligence like any other important decision in life? Definitely. Do people lie. Yes.
Well I agree for the most part. I kinda feel disappointment in many cases come from misplaced expectations. I'm no longer dating since I met my dog an decided I'd rather hang with him than any human but I based my opinion on 27 meet an greets over two years. Peopeople need to lighten up with the expectations.Especially if you are over 40. I just picked 40 froM thin air expecting (lol) someone 40 an older to have had a Lil experience.
Antrages62
Level 3
June 12, 2018
2
Enjoy being online again!
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