Having a birthday close to or on a holiday/special day can be catastrophic to anyone. How many out there don’t like their Birth Anniversary or other special day?

The anniversary of my birth is fast approaching and I find myself in the worst of moods this week, this has been become normal over the last couple years. This isn’t because I am adding another year to my count, but because of the associations I have with it. Coincidence may have a lot more to do with bad things occurring on the day, but my association is that “Happy Birthday” said on the actual day results in a negative day. Yes; I said that I have become conditioned to expect negative things to occur on the day of my birth if someone says “happy birthday” to me. No it does not happen every year, but the ratio of events is in favor of the negative events.

It isn’t just bad events either. In my case Father’s Day, and being a middle child of 3 plus Narcissist father often meant the time period was all about him. It was therefore consistent of him to die last year on my Birthday; of course that had more to do with Parkinson than words, and I am still trying to decide if it qualifies as a negative or positive. But my point is made.

There is a small list of people who I don’t/can’t keep from saying it, but otherwise I discourage it. I don’t actively advertise the date, will change subjects if asked, or will just overall refuse to answer. I have gone as far as to make myself disappear for the day, I won’t answer calls, no FB, or anything just to avoid the words.

As a result of my completely rational, feel free to laugh, thought process I am now filled with dread for the whole week preceding it. It’s that constant worry about what can/will happen if someone actually says the words to me on that day. I mean serious bad mood most of the week because I associate those words on my day with negative outcomes.

Here is where it gets a bit crazy, if not already . I enjoy celebrating the day, especially with my son and enjoy it when my close friends as well as a few of my Family members remember it. I also make sure that my Son’s (around Labor Day), Family (one brother close to x-mas), and friend’s birthdays are special as I can make them.

I know that more positive outcomes can overcome the conditioning and it is going to be a process getting there. But I am also sure I have quite a few years left to do so too.

I would like to hear from you about the days you associate with negatives and why.

Feel to fit me for a straight jacket .