The thing that comes to mind is this :
(also)

Monogamy can become a mutual prison...

People grow and change or they die...
Same for relationships...

People accept the societal 'norms' of the standard nuptual contracts (fill in the blank E-Z forms) seem like recipes for disaster.

I was 'married' for 10 years and we had an open relationship...
We renewed our vows for "a year and a day" every new years...
Leading up to that day renegociations were in effect...

Usualy did not change...
But sometimes did...

Our priorities might shift... While the primary intention of partnership was constant.

All relationships take communication and vigilance...

Choosing something out of expediency because it is easy is NOT a virtue IMO...

Otherwise we might ALL be Christians.

(Moooooo...)

I love your admissions here

And your observations...
First I gotta say that if it were not for ... You know the word... (Sounds like 'Pussy'...
I think hardly any man would put up with women...
And it were not for ... (? Fill in the blank) women would not put up with men...

Now with all that said...
Y parents were together for almost 60 years...
And were fully and COMPLEATLY in Love the whole time.
I never saw the ever DISAGREE... let alone fight or argue...

I am pretty sure they had an active sex life most of that time...
My mother never clipped her own toenails in all this years either...
(Eye roll)

I know...
Disgusting right?
Well I would not have believed it if I had not seen it with my own eyes...

They were lovers till the day she died... I did not expect my father to survive the year...

But he did... At 79... He "talked her best friend into marrying him "
He was a good catch... Even if a cradle robber... (She is 15 years younger ... Gasp!)

So... As codependent as it was... I guess that is what marriage is...

But I still would up gay...

I’ve been saying this for ten years, at least, and people just look at me odd. I think we want to but don’t. It can get harder to take with age, as well.

I think the problem may be the ineptitude of our relationship selections. We make romantic choices primarily based on the bells, whistles, and sparkle and we ignore those red flags and subtle but important hints. Eventually those warning signs become the person who verbally or emotionally abuses you, the wife who has a gambling problem, the spouse who over spends, the husband who drinks too much, the partner who cheats. Because we become so consumed with the blinding ability of romance, we walk right into the traps that we create for ourselves. But, that is the way of procreation isn't it.

I think it has a lot to do with the fact that marriage originated a long time ago when life spans were 40-50 yrs. Now our life spans are greater and people have 20 more years after the child raising is done.

If they just sit there for 20 years waiting for the other person to make them happy then they will end up hating each other.

Relationships are a whole lifestyle worth of activity and they're not for everyone, it seems.

I loved and admired my man and was loyal and faithful for 28 years until the day he lied me out of our house and dumped me back on my father like a cask of beef gone off. Trust is hard to regain after an experience like that.

I like hanging out with men and doing stuff because I like doing stereotypical male hobby things, but I don't know about how I would handle trust if something serious were to develop.

I don't know genders segregate. I don't like it though.

I have seen both in my observations. Mostly the women complaining about men. It's disheartening and frustrating -- do you freaking stay if you can't stand him?????? Men do it too, but in my experience, most of what I see there are playful jabs -- unless they are truly sad and unhappy.

I have also seen people who have been together for a long time who are still joyful, playful and kind toward each other.

Is the problem marraige itself? The contractual legal obligation to force you into this relationship with very real legal penalties if you don't follow its rules the thing that screws up great friendships?

If my parents, of beloved memory, are any indication, the sexes can like each other. Yes, they bickered and had some complaints, but it didn't shake the respect that they had for each other. My dad called my mom "his best friend". That they were crazy about each other romantically from the start of their relationship was a cool bonus.

I don't think people in long relationships bitching about each other is indication of anything. No matter how much you love someone, some of the things they do are going to get on your nerves - letting off a little steam once in a while prevents them growing into resentment.

I think couples who truly love each other still find things they don't like about each other. While they happily tolerate each others faults while together, male/female gatherings give the opportunity to vent.

I think they do...it just takes adapting and constantly changing and growing as individuals to keep relationships vibrant and agreeable. I don't think it is a matter of liking or disliking the opposite sex...actually, the opposite has caused a lot of relationships to sour. The key in long term relationships is to find ways to keep the newness of the opposite sex attraction going on some level. Respect, and not buying into the stereotype of what long term marriages look like, i.e. via tv, jokes, etc., pandering to those that do this type of hurtful sniping,etc. Misery loves company, so change your company.

Some people aren't cut out for relationships, but they do it anyway.

I'm stimulated ? Seems to me it is a culture and peer pressure thing. kids see their parents doing that exact thing and emulate it to/with their peers to be liked !

I think most people fear being alone and loneliness and they take what they can get to avoid the loneliness.