My Father
My Dad

With the advent of this month thoughts of the man who became my father have loomed closely bringing forth memories of a man who well into his thirties readily took on the task of welcoming his third child and first daughter into the fold.
Father’s Day has arrived and as quickly gone. I am inclined to try to put into words how much this then middle-aged man impacted my life and how seventeen years following his passing he still remains with me.
A task I’m not at all sure my words can justify, but I am compelled to make the effort, so I will make every attempt to honor him on this day in a way that is superior to the words “Happy Father’s Day.”

As a tiny tot, Dad seemed a mysterious entity. He was often on the road for weeks at a time with his job and according to my mother had little involvement in the nurturing of us children under the age of two.
She often remarked with frustration that he frequently let it be known that a child younger than this was of little value to him other than the unspoken duty to provide us with a home, food and love.
This changed when we could speak and heed his words of wisdom, wit and challenge.
After we passed our 2nd birthdays we, what would eventually be four of us, officially entered the “School of Dad.”

My first gift from this man was the gift of determination. Not taking my inability to hear or to speak lightly he took me from specialist to specialist in a time when there were very few specialists until he found one who was willing to try to help me. Not an easy task as he was an extremely busy man professionally but he found the time and eventually I did hear and I did begin speaking.
This also taught me that I was worth every effort and that there was no quitting when the going got rough, one simply trudged forward despite the obstacles; a lesson that has obviously seen me through many a crisis in my lifetime. This lesson was repeated many times in my youth and the end result was I learned that one does not give up on those we love, ever. My dad repeatedly reminded all of us that family is and always should be a priority for they are the ones there for us through our time on earth.
Thank you Dad, my determination has served me well in this lifetime. I know that to succeed in life I may have to fall and quite a few times, the key is in getting back up and moving forward.

The gift of imagination, I honestly cannot put a price on this. There were no books being read to us at bedtime. He gave us the real deal, stories and continuing sagas that came from him and him alone.
My little sister and I sat straight up in bed quite often, wide-eyed and no doubt sparkling in the dimly lit room, waiting in awe and sometimes dread as the characters in his stories faced countless obstacles in their life quests.
Of course, again, my mother, rolling her eyes and laughing sarcastically, would often later point out that he himself was often the star of his fantasy stories. Indeed it was true; a “Rol” character appeared in every single one of his stories over the years. My sister and I remained enrapt with his tales and were his biggest fans I’m equally sure, as were our brothers before us.
Thank you Dad for your countless hours of storytelling. Thank you for your ‘Lil’ Rollie characters; I believed every single one of your stories as told.
I know now that your own imagination sparked characters and within each lived the real man. Yes, you Dad.
Thank you Dad, for giving me a piece of you and a much wider world that exists within my own reality, my very vivid imagination.

Faith, a word that, these days spark judgment and controversy of all manners remains steadfast within.
As a matter of faith I not only was indoctrinated in Catholicism but I learned by example. My parents combined made many sacrifices monetarily to see that their children received the best of educations in private and costly schools.
As a family we attended church on a regular basis. Steeped in tradition and heritage I learned to appreciate culture, history, art, forgiveness and love. Confession allowed me to forgive myself and to move forward in life always striving to be a better human being.
While many of you who know me know that I am not religiously affiliated my Dad made sure that I learned to have faith in myself, to practice self-discipline and to sacrifice for the greater good. Humility and generosity went hand in hand and these traits have been imbedded in my own character.
Thank you Dad, for instilling faith in my everyday life.

My Dad was fun! Yes, he often pushed all of us to be competitive but it was almost always fun and he pushed his own limits as well. He was a professional man and dressed every bit the part but when he had a day or two of down time you would find him in the oddest of outfits, much to my mother’s horror. Plaid pants and a striped shirt, goofy looking coveralls, an odd hat. He would appear in the kitchen on a Saturday morning complete with his sarcastic smile, ready and willing to enjoy the day that was a little more than on the corny side. And fun we did have, whether it was family skate board races, spontaneous spelling quizzes, or even the dreaded math quizzes he would subject us all too during a boring car ride. Because we moved so many times during our youth and due to Dad’s soaring career as an executive with Ford Motor Company (as kids we referred to Ford execs as the Mafia) our vacations centered on visiting family. These trips were always fun filled adventures with our Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts and more than twenty cousins. From silly car games he invented to keep us kids occupied or test our developing brains, to chocolate chip pancakes before they were a thing, to attending rehearsals for plays that they acted in for the local community theater, to actually finding myself center stage at a very young age as Alice in Wonderland, to races, to working side by side on a project, to sharing that secret large Hershey bar or a bag of fresh warm cashews, to triple features of John Wayne flicks at the drive-in, grocery shopping and the inherent order to not only read the labels but to find the best price, to crazy boat rides in which you feared for your life or rolled your eyes at his awkward but persistent attempts to be a seaman, Dad was fun.
Thank you Dad, for giving me the gift of finding fun in the simplest of things and without having to spend a dime.

Of course my father had a very serious side and he often carried the office home with him. In fact he had an office in our every home across the nation complete with a nameplate, which often brought hilarious giggles from all of us children.
None of us were laughing however when we were called to his office. We knew that a lecture on what ever prevailed, as a problem in our lives was about to ensue. These lectures often led to a lot of eye rolling on my part, I can’t speak for my siblings but I know we rolled our eyes at one another as one of us was called in for a closed door lecture with Dad. He often wrote us notes as well. I would find these notes when I awoke in the morning, lying on my dresser or often taped to the mirror; bullet point notes on how to become a better human being.
His lectures covered many topics over the years, responsibility, ambition, motivation, drive, success, hard work, challenging yourself, how to be competitive, striving for excellence, getting back up after you’ve failed, commitment, the need for education, especially for a woman, the need to rely on self and self alone, loyalty, family, maintaining a good work ethic, sex and the possibility of diseases, seeking independence, morals, staying true to one’s beliefs and passions, obligation, duty, patriotism, maturity, proper attire (a very popular subject in my teen hippie years), respect, self worth and love.
While I didn’t always agree with his tenets I now appreciate fully all that he attempted to do for me and I do believe I am a better human because of him. And because of him I now have my own office and my daughter has threatened a nameplate.
Thank you Dad!

Thank you Dad, for giving me the gift of adaptability and strength of character. Thank you Dad, for teaching me how to mingle with people from all walks of life.
Thank you Dad, for teaching me how to waltz before I knew how to do the twist.
Thank you Dad, for my appreciation of music and the arts.
Thank you Dad, for each and every sacrifice you made on my behalf.
Thank you Dad, you always had my back, you always loved me even when I was unlovable, and for encouraging me to always be open-minded, no matter the subject, and for so much more than all of this.

I loved you then Dad and I love you now. More than seventeen years since you have passed from this life and yet you are with me every day of my continued existence here on earth. I am grateful and I am proud to say you were my Father, there is and was no greater gift.

A belated Happy Father’s Day to all the Good Dad’s out there!!