My boss: Good morning.
Me: You need to calm the fuck down.
Reminds me of a former bricklayer turned employer and private housing property developer reputedly vising one of hos sites in his Rolls Royce. On seeing a man leaning on his shovel he leapt out and pulling his wallet out strode over to the man screaming "you're fired you lazy bastard. Will £200 pay you out?" The man, dumbfounded, muttered "Sure", had £200 shoved in his hand. He then with his shovel got into his van marked "Telephone Company".
Hey, hey hey! WTF you happy and smiling at? You wanna be happy go somewhere else(pointing at the parking lot). Happiness ends at that parking lot, understand? I wanna see dispair, anguish, fear. Fucking happy employees.....storming off. I do this to all the new employees.