At several points in my life, I have been afforded the presence of mind and self awareness to realize that "I'm not living / I'm just killing time" (Radiohead, True Love Waits). For awhile, I successfully ramp up scheduled events on my social calendar, take up a new craft or hobby, pick up a new book, etc. But every time, I have found myself reverting to my disaffected homeostasis after the novelty wears off.
So I ask myself, and of y'all (I'm from Kentucky, sorry not sorry), what gives? I have a decent paying, highly rewarding job; I have an advanced degree, I qualified for the Boston Marathon, I have a marvelous and loving family, and great friends who I consider generally good and intelligent people.
Does this sounds familiar to you?
What am I missing?
How did you find it?
Am I even asking the right questions?
Obviously there is only so much context I can provide, but any insight and/or dialogue would be much appreciated.
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4 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I think it’s just a symptom of the meaninglessness of the universe, the nothingness that humans have to either come to terms with or assign irrelevant meaning to the aspects of reality that they interact with.
NothinnXpreVails
Level 8
June 25, 2018
0
That's similar to what I thought this morning in my walk to work. Glad you shared your thoughts!
Well, you're thirty now and probably starting to think about the future and what things will be like in 20 years if you don't change anything.
Most people get traveling and acting foolish out of their systems during their 20's and maybe even their early 30s, then most marry and get down to raising children and investing, etc.
My daughter lives in Lexington, KY, and I lived on our family farm in nearby Morehead for 27 years, so I plan to move back to Lexington when I leave Thailand (I moved here in 2010).
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birdingnut
Level 8
June 25, 2018
0
What a small world! Thanks for the reply.
up until recently I would task myself with big projects (graduated from UKMC) Now that I am in my 60s that approach is limited.Day to day I try to see the beauty in front of me or that I may see on the internet. I share it with photos when I can and like it when someone else also enjoys it. I think we all struggle for meaning and have to change how we find that as we grow. Sometimes it is harder than others
btroje
Level 9
June 25, 2018
0
You are asking exactly the right questions. One more...if you could have anything you wanted, what would it be? (It can be more than one thing.) What would you like to do? I found when I started to do exactly what I wanted, I became happier. I didn't do things at someone else's expense; I just started doing things I thought I didn't have time for. It really made a difference.
DevraisA1
Level 7
June 25, 2018
1
Enjoy being online again!
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