What are some sad truths about life?
This was a question sent to me through Quora. The following was my answer.
I don’t judge truths to be sad or happy; truths are just reality. How we react, respond, or avoid truths however, can have positive or negative consequences.
The most challenging reality for most people is forced change; i mean forced by their own unhappy lives, or by external factors like job loss, the death of a loved one, personal health challenges, retirement, ageing-related physical or emotional challenges, all of which which causes people to feel stress, anxiety, or ultimately, depressed.
But “Change is the one constant in life. And yet, we are often surprised when it comes. We believe in change as long as the wheel of fortune spins in our favour. However, when it doesn't, we may begin to question our preconceived expectations about life.” Transitioning without knowing the outcome is something most people resist at all costs, even if they suffer as a result of their avoidance.
What is resistance?
- Self doubt
- Overthinking
- Not knowing where to start
- Questioning your purpose
- Fear
- Feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities
- Time
The happy truth is that change can be managed effectively, and people don’t have to suffer indefinitely. Learn to recognize the resistance and say, ‘No, thank you. I’d rather move onward.”
There are also many resources to help, including counsellors and therapists, and one self-help book i’ve recommended to clients and friends going through change-related challenges is William Bridge’s book, Transitions. If you have a map to work with, and a path you can follow mindfully, you will come out the other end of the dark tunnel change sometimes looks like.
What is William Bridges’ Transition Model?
“Not in his goals but in his transitions man is great.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
2
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This is simplistic. In reality money makes the biggest difference. Wealth serves as a cushion when travelling over bumps in the road.
Ellatynemouth
Level 8
June 27, 2018
1
Is it the money, or the false security money gives people? LLOL
Getting a divorce and staying in a five star luxury retreat to have a break from things...
I know which side of the fence I would rather be.
@Ellatynemouth We all crave what we believe we need. Especially if it felt great when we needed and received such gifts. Glad you've found your bliss. Nevertheless, i've found that change is the only constant in our universe, so preparation is all. Be well.
I haven't found my bliss. Far from it.
I've seen poverty. Poverty makes life miserable.
@Ellatynemouth, if i was in your situation, and i have been, I would keep looking for and attracting the first, then exploring what poverty would look like to me, and why i was so frightened about losing whatever perks i had enjoyed. I've adopted a minimalist lifestyle, after 30 years of having almost anything i wanted, and much more than i now need. I've been happy through it all, broke or flush, and am equally happy now. But i had to separate my needs from my wants, which took a lot of soul-searching and letting go. Mainly I had to let go much of parents' programming about 'things', expectations, and what others thought of me. I chose to go 'cold turkey' sold my new car, gave away my house, so for the first time in 55 years, i was dependent on my legs, on foot or on cycle, and for the first time in 30 years, i was again a renter. It's been 6 years now and i've never felt better. And i don't care about the price of car insurance or gasoline, or property taxes and home repairs. It's so freeing. LLOL But that is me. I hope you do what's best for you and which makes you happy, whatever that might be.
I've also found that those transitions are much harder as you get older.
Tomfoolery33
Level 9
June 26, 2018
3
They are, which is also ironic. With lifetime knowledge, as you say, challenges often become harder to manage. Ageing and all that comes with the process are the most challenging examples for so many. Some begin to realize what they don't know, and what they don't think they will ever understand, and that knowledge doesn't help them. We begin to see that there is so much more to learn that we don't know. And as the world changes around us, so does our list of what we need to know to be comfortable. My Mother, when she was my age, gave up up trying to figure out her computerised VCR, simply calling the cable company each time it didn't work like she wanted it to. A simplistic metaphor for so many other challenges.
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