I lost my oldest son in 2002.The only way to really understand what its like afterward,please listen to Willie Nelsons newest song.."Its not Something We get Over"...as much as I knew about Willie (I lived in Austin for over 35 years),I never knew he lost his son the same way.PLEASE y`all,give it a listen!

Pretty much what this says. I lost a sister almost five years ago. It still stays with me.

I have always been cursed with a terrible memory. In school I had to study 10 times as hard as anyone. Now as life progresses and I lose my grandmother and my mother and my father is dwindling slowly Away. I am able to forget the grief as time passes. What comes to mind anymore are the smiles we had together. Just lucky to have a bad memory I guess.

I've lost bother, sister, mother, father, and good friend in a short space of time. I find the best way to deal is head-on. I miss them all and cry it out when the memories come up. Over time this has been less intense, but it never falls away.

I have been struggling for 2 years with the loss of my grandfather traumatically. It was very hard. I still get flashbacks and have a hard time whenever a memory of him pops up. I miss him so much it's almost unbearable. I will never be the same. I just had to learn to keep moving forward with a giant hole in my heart. It's like I lost a large piece of me. You can do rehab and learn to walk without a leg, but every time you look at your stump you remember what you've lost.

I think how I deal with grief has to do with how much warning I had before the death. I cried for 3 years after Nana died and that was after 3 to 6 months of her steady decline. So, I knew it was coming. Dad's death was sudden and unexpected. What I remember was changing emotions. In the first hours, emotions when from smiling at his pranks to crying to angry and several others within seconds. That slowly mellowed out. And as Aunt Millie said sometimes death is a relief because the hardest thing to do is watch someone you love slowly waste away.

My parents died 10 years ago.
I don't seem to be capable of outward displays of emotion. I have my moments internally, especially with memories of my mom, I'll see something that reminds me of her or something I know she would like.
She had a quirky, dry sense of humor. There wasn't a pun she didn't like.

I basically have this big numb spot where they used to be.

Grief is the most, painful, lingering, and debilitating emotion l have had to endure. My parents died in 80 and 91, and l still miss them all the time. I am hesitant to get another pet because of that pain of having to bury another one. Certain things can trigger emotions about both.

Grief is natural. We just have to ride it out. IMO it is better to fully experience our feelings in the light of awareness than to try and cover or assuage the feelings.

If you want to be REALLY sad and depressed start thinking untrue negative thoughts about the situation. Think of yourself as a weak, helpless victim who will never again be happy. That ought to do it.

Right! You never "get over" it. It becomes part of you, the cherished (and not so cherished) memories. I'll never "get over" the loss of my parents, especially my mother. I don't want to, either.

I lost my sister last year, just three days after my mom's anniversary of when she died. It's been really hard. I miss her eveey day...the feelings come and go on waves. It hurts so much to think that we won't age together, she won't be an old woman, neither a grannie with me...

Of course you can’t really ever replace your mom, but there are so many cute little pups in need of a loving keeper.

First, give yourself permission to process your loss(es) and feel whatever you feel on your own timetable.
It seems to me that this process is helped if you can share stories about those you have lost with sympathetic listeners.
At some point you will be ready to recognize that with loss comes opportunity. Me or your friends could try to tell you what that is, but it’s better if you come to it on your own. Recognizing that a loss creates an opportunity is the doorway to gratitude and healing.

Yup..just let yourself feel grief.

We all have to go through the steps of grieving to move on, and skipping steps only forces you to deal with it later.

(((( Carole )))

Thanks. That is helpful.

I think grief is a process that people have to go through in order to heal. It takes time to get over the loss of a loved one.

It's about the memories and the the ones you'll never make.

Privately.

I live with it but am moving forward.

Very nicely said. Grief is different for people. Try to figure out what makes you comforted, and do “that”. Take care...