Growing up my dad was a bit rough with my older brothers, but when it came to me, spanking me, whipping me, even raising his voice would just piss me off more. I didn't respond well to violence and aggression. My mom always said I was different, when it came to discipline, we had to talk it out. To come to an understanding or compromise. To this day, I am still like this. Not sure if it's because I am female, the youngest or whatever, I just feel it really depends on the child. Does the punishment match the crime and do they react to it accordingly? I think spanking is okay. Leaving marks, not so much. I do think it's important to teach your children to respect authority (but also question it, but that comes when they're older) and to not be their friend but their parent. Even if they hate you, one day they'll thank you.

I don't like it. My father spanked me a few times, but it was never more than a single hard slap on the upper thigh. Then one day I got away from him and he never tried it again. As for myself, the only time I can actually remember giving my son a smack was when he was running amok on a train platform and at serious risk (in my judgement) of falling onto the tracks or of knocking someone else onto the tracks. There may have been other instances, but that's the only one I can remember.

Before a child is equipped to reason, toddler age, yet is able to run and climb is the only stage at which 'spanking', never in anger but possibly feigned anger or sternness, works.

No MUST mean no! Stop MUST means stop. Come here MUST mean come here. To a little mind that cannot yet reason and perhaps has also discovered the fun of running away to be chased, it can mean life and death near a street with lots of traffic or a sheer edge in a high place, etc. Sorry, but I don't know of anything that works better on those little munchkins than a stern vocal warning and a firm 'potch' or two on the rump, usually through a diaper anyway, when they disobey those three commands. It isn't abuse.

Once reasoning begins, natural consequences like being ostracized or deprived of loved, non-necessities and limiting freedom work better, with less hostility and harbored anger than spanking.

I don't think you should spank children. Besides the fact that it doesn't really work, I think it muddies the waters concerning them owning their own bodies. It's a slippery slope: if a kid thinks it's ok for an adult to hit them then how will they know it's not ok for an adult to touch them inappropriately. ?

I'm going to be the one swimming upstream on this one . Never heard about school shootings , until they made spanking a criminal offense . I do believe there is some kind of corrilation between the increased violence in school shootings and bullying , and lack of corporal punishment .

Don't believe it is in anyway necessary.

Wonderful responses from people. Hell no. If parents knew the long term damage they do I would hope they wouldn't do it. Btw letting them cry it out in the crib is just as bad, (5-10 minutes or so okay) as a psychologist who has done 1000's of regressions, the trauma from spanking and leaving them alone to cry is THE most common memories that come up as the root cause to everything from depression, anxiety, worthlessness, not feeling loved or good enough. If that is what you are trying to instill in your child spanking is the way to go. I think it is the thing that many Christians promote that makes me want to scream at their ignorance and hypocracy the most.

My parents raised four children without spanking or hitting us. My ex-husband and I never spanked or hit our daughter, Claire.

10 disciplinary techniques that worked:

1. Time outs. Length of time is based on the child's age.

2. Talk clearly with the child about what they did, why it was wrong, and behavior you expect.

3. Criticize behavior, not the person personally. Focus on behavior. "I want you to clean your room now," instead of calling the child "lazy" or a "slob." Calling children hurtful names damages their self-esteem and can hurt them for life.

4. Removal of privileges. When she was 14, Claire was grounded for most of the year. We took away her cell phone.

5. Joint parental discussions. As a teenager, Claire hated two-on-one. We stayed firm.

6. The same rules in both houses. Written "Family Rules," signed and dated by both parents and Claire. Updated yearly, this agreement had her bedtimes, expectations for homework, chores and curfews. Posted on both refrigerators.

7. Parents communicate. When Claire asked me for $30 for gas, I habitually replied "I'm calling your dad first." Her dad had already given Claire $30 for gas. "Nice try, Claire," I said dryly. She laughed.

8. Clear expectations. When Claire was 18, Terry took her on a grand tour of Europe. Before leaving, Claire had to write thank you cards for her high school graduation gifts.

9. Teach your child self-responsibility. If she fought wearing a coat, let her be cold during recess or stay inside.

10. Safety is a priority.

If you have reached the point where you need to resort to spanking a child as punishment, then you need to punish yourself as well, because you have failed miserably as a parent to effectively communicate with your child.

Interesting link here on the history of childhood and the prevalence of child abuse in various cultures. I think it was originally put up by someone on this site. I've been reading through it with my jaw on the floor. Have not done background research on it yet, but it's food for thought when considering questions like this one.

[catholica.com.au]

I did not use corporeal punishment on my children and never felt it essential.

It was not used on me, but was threatened. The threat alone was deeply disturbing to me.

I heard this argument many years ago and it has always resonated with me ...

If you had a foster child who had previously been physically abused, and you were not allowed to spank them, could you find another effective way to discipline that child without spanking?

If you say "yes" you could, then spanking is evidently not necessary in disciplining a child.

And if you could in fact find other effective forms of discipline, then why would you ever spank any child?

Seems to be just a very lazy (and harmful) method of parenting.

From my personal experience, spanking was ALWAYS done out of anger. And, yes I'm fine now, but I grew up with a lot of fear.

Depends...like when I was little I found my dad's keys and stuck them in a light socket...not my most intelligent decision.. lol gonna make sure my little girl doesn't do the same lol got to have priorities

Spanking kids teaches them to solve problems with aggression. It undermines trust in the parent. Research bears this out.

"Research on Spanking: It’s Bad for ALL Kids

"Hitting children undermines their well-being in the long term."

[psychologytoday.com]

Some children will only understand spanking, (and I am not talking about abuse), some will take to talking. I did spank my children possibly half a dozen times during their formative years. They do not seem to remember it now but I can tell you that it worked. I also used other means of punishment, like no TV or computer and a lot of talking, but the only way to make them truly pay attention was a good whack on the bottom.

I smacked my daughter's hand once very hard. It wasn't intended to punish or cause her pain, I panicked when I saw her on the floor next to my chair in the process of trying to stick a spoon into an outlet.

I felt terrible when she shrieked, but my reaction was out of sheer terror.

If you strike an adult that is called assault and it is a criminal offense. If you strike someone else’s child, same thing it’s a criminal offense. How then, can it not be a criminal offense to strike your own child? A good parent wouldn’t need to use physical violence to discipline their child.

Not for it. My parents spanked me and it didn’t change my behavior. When they switched to taking my allowance away quarter by quarter, it resonated. I gave my own kids timeouts.