This meme is pretty funny

Well you see....
A modern misconception it that Noah had a boat, he didn't he had an ark. An ark is actually a box, think Indiana Jones Ark of the Covenant. And the only way that a box is going to fit that may animals inside is if it's bigger on the inside. And who has a boxes bigger on the inside, that's right Time Lords. Now I'm not say that Noah was definitely the Doctor but he was without a doubt from Gallifrey.

He didn't. It's all bollocks.

Castaways!

Because Santa helped him

See, here's how it worked...

They loaded all the animals into the boat, and everything was fine for a few weeks... but the weight of all the accumulated droppings was weighing them down low in the water. So they took some shovels, tossed the droppings over the side, and named the result "Australia"....

(Sorry, sorry... )

Teleportation.

Baby animals, they get along better with each other.

Spiders spun giant kites for each animal they disolved after they were used thus no evidence ...

Penguin cannon... 70 foot barrel, aim for the nearest body of water, they'll be fine.

Through God, all things are possible.

-Winner of silliest answer award

I am really tired of Noah's ark jokes. If there was an ark, it was loaded with critters native to the local of the ark. The local historians, who wrote the story, had no knowledge of critters on the other side of the world. Noah built the ark because he hallucinated gods orders. The great flood never covered the whole earth, but only the lands near the boat. I know this stuff because god told me last night in a nightmare, after I passed out from too much scotch.

Obvi's all of the animals used to live in Asia minor, and after their time on the ark they had to scatter to get some space...

Personally I like the alien theorist theory. They believe that the ark did not carry animals, but carried a sample of their DNA. That is a lot more manageable than carrying the animal itself.

You forgot; the Ark also had dinosaurs. Those must have been some really heavy duty floors.

Just like Santa Claus gets all the presents under the tree, he beams them there. Noah was a wise dude and besides being able to build a boat that would hold both dinosaurs and people he was able to feed them all with nothing spread thin. Had plenty of water to drink though.

I don't think so either but my Mom always said...
Don't you think that if God told Noah to build the boat he would make sure it floated and worked out just the way he wanted it to?
Faith was always her answer...blind faith...

The problem wasn’t getting them there. The problem was keeping the rabbits to only 2...

God gave Noah embryo technology. As embryos are very small he had the ability to grow millions of "kinds?" of creatures instantly. Noah used transporter tech to place all "kinds?" of animals everywhere. The Bible says there is nothing new under the sun. Transporters in Star Trek are so 60s. You just have to think out side the box/Ark

Worms were in the wood...

Another Important question is how did he get Pandas to mate. It has to be done artificially now. However he did it, it had to be pretty gross.

Good question. For most of the items of practical impossibility I can find a sensible allegory. Even the flood, as there are tales of an inundation from many folk tales of the region, has probably some ancient source. Maybe a breach at the Dardenelles to create The Black Sea. After all, the Ark apparently comes to rest on Mt Ararat . But I can't get the animal thing. My suspicion is that it is a back engineered story grafted on to the flood myth to answer "so why are the animals here"

Jonah's whale! Apparently there was an apartment complex inside. If the world is going to flood, why not send a giant whale to store animals inside since the previous tenant had moved out?

I'm stuck on how he Built the Ark, never mind who he supposedly put into it.