Growing up catholic, my mother required my sisters and me to finish the sacrament of confirmation before we chose what direction our religious lives took. For the years leading to that moment of confirmation, I could not wait to be done with it. On the day of confirmation, I distinctly remember a peer, whose father was my religious instruction teacher, become tearful and truly felt the “holy spirit’s presence” enter her body. I remember looking at her in confusion, and saying “good for you.” I have never felt that way, EVER. In fact, in growing up with my family, I was the only member of my family that did not outwardly express feelings. Such as, my family members tearing up or crying during an episode of Little House on the Prairie, or any other program that brought tears to their eyes. It was beyond my understanding, yet it did not mean I DIDN’T have feelings. So when it came time for confirmation sacrament, and my peers were emotional, reflective, and joyful in the receiving of this sacrament- I was just like, um ok. I am done, my feelings are numb. The sense of freedom I felt was because my mother was not going to force me to be a part of religion anymore, like a rite of passage. She was leaving that up to me. Essentially, this sacrament was for her peace of mind, religiously.
I do not necessarily feel I missed out on any type of joy in religion, or for that matter, any joy of expressing tearful emotion. I internalized and analyzed these times. I still do to some extent. However, I have noticed the older I get, the more my “heartstrings” are touched in general. Haven’t figured out why that is though.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I spent ages 8 through 17 being raised by nuns. Mass 6:30 every morning. Confession every Friday. Stations of the cross once a week. Our Fathers, Hail Marys, Glory Be's, choir practice. Communion, fish Fridays, head doilies, the works, day in and day out. I was like a lot of other people who were given no choice in the matter. It was just what you did.
When I left the nuns I continued to follow tradition albeit not as institutionalized. Things changed when I had children. I had the first two do the baptisim and communion thing and the CCD thing. When the third child came along my view on religion was taking a drastic turn. I had her baptized
but only because I felt pressured into it by family. I came to the realization that I was throwing all that brainwashing out the window and following my own dictates. I thought..why am I passing this on to my children when I don't believe it myself? That was it for me. Stopped all that nonsense and didn't give a flying ***k what the family thought. I figured if my children wanted religion, they could decide for themselves what path their life would take. I never looked back and I don't miss it.
sandyw1952
Level 6
Jan 4, 2018
1
Very similar story for me! Such a relief to leave it behind without the “guilt!”
Maybe you were hypnotized by Ed Norton in his movie KEEPING THE FAITH a comedy with Ben Stiller RABBI and their teen heart throb blonde come back to NYC in all her corporations glory
GreenAtheist
Level 8
Jan 4, 2018
0
I grew up Catholic too. I started doubting in 6th grade and stopped going to confession. I told the priest I did not understand why God needed the priest for my sins to be forgiven....that if God were real, He would know if I was sorry or not in my heart. My parent would not let me 'drop out' (stop going to church on Sunday) until after I turned 18. They did however let me quit CCD classes when I was still in high school after I got caught by one of the nuns ditching CCD class. I think they were embarrassed and probably thought it was easier just to let me quit. My parents (in their 70's now) still think I will come back to the church....I am 54, and there is zero chance of that happening lol.
LizBeth
Level 7
Jan 4, 2018
3
@LizBeth I was 16 when I was confirmed and stopped going to church. I can't imagine having to do it another two years until I was 18! I certainly wouldn't blame you for ditching CCD classes, especially if they were taught by nuns, or priests and not educators. Wasn't it worse with nuns and priests? "DO NOT question god." Whereas substitute teachers were usually "educated" parishioners that would put a different spin on lessons.
MyLiege - I firmly believe that nothing makes atheists/agnostics quicker than growing up Catholic. I am 54 and there were some VERY scary nuns teaching when I was a kid (think rulers on the knuckles)...I remember one time the preist screaming at the class because someone giggled during mass (he has one boy crying hysterically).
Catholic guilt takes years to get over (if one ever fully does). I no longer despise Sundays....I enjoy my whole weekend now 
@LizBeth I could not said it better myself... I remember the 1st communion and the priest telling me to confess my sins before getting it...I was 8 yrs old and got so mad...asked him what sin did I commit? He said we all born sinners... I remember thinking to myself this is bull ...looking back between 12 and 14 I realized...there is no white man sitting up in the sky taking notes of any of us...
@MyLiege I wholeheartedly felt the same way with my confirmation-even though it was 10 years of Jewish Sunday School. I got up at the Confirmation with my whole family and denounced god. They were humiliated and off I was sent to Israel on Bible Study Tour. I am very emotional too. I used to cry during episodes of Lassie. My mother didn't cry when her father died. Some people don't know how to feel.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
Jan 4, 2018
1
@sassygirl3869 At least you stood up for what you believed, and the consequences were not desirable, but your effort- in reflection, was admirable.
I paid for it though @MyLiege with 2 years of physical and emotional abuse till I ran away in High School.
@sassygirl3869 Yeah, that part sucks, and sadly CANNOT be erased. But as an outsider, I look at what you did with such admiration. You had "moxie" and stood your ground. I do not see those years of abuse defining you, only reinforcing your position. 
Thanks you made my day @MyLiege.
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