I know that some of you pioneer users miss the good ol’ heady days, the first months of agnostic.com existence, when cow humor was far more common than it is now. For those of you who yearn, I offer the following:

ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE, I LEARNED FROM A COW.

• Wake up in a happy mooo-d. + Don’t cry over spilled milk. + When chewing your cud, remember there’s no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste. + The grass is greener on the other side of the fence. + Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on. + Seize every opportunity and milk it for all it’s worth. + It’s better to be seen and not herd. + Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives. + Never take any bull from anybody. + Always let them know who’s bossy. + Stepping on cowpies brings good luck. + Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement. + Don’t forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.

Above all else, to error is human. To MOO, Bovine.