At least you have some inkling why things haven't worked out for you. Hopefully you can build on that and realize a viable relationship at some point; don't give up, if it's what you really want. I wish you well.

I didn't marry until 43,an old bachelor.Why so late? 8 years in the Air Force(1966-1975) a traveling gypsie,moving every 6 months to a years time,never long enough to establish roots to raise a family.so I got out, but the low paying jobs held me back from dating,only when I got a better job could I start looking,yes,like you,I probably messed up, or didn't see the signs of interest from Women........