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How do you people feel about prenups?

Yanya 7 July 23
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52 comments (26 - 50)

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1

Can't believe no one else said it..

"What do you mean you people?!"

1

Sounds like a responsibile decision that protects both parties.

Marz Level 7 July 23, 2018
1

I think you should do what's in your best interest

1

For "kids" just starting out, there's no point. For old jaded people, skip that silly institution altogether.

1

Yes, yes, yes bring them on.

1

It depends on the assets possessed going in, I think. Most states (probably) have laws recognizing commonlaw marriage after a certain point in time and dividing jointly acquired assets during the union equally if the relationship ends. I feel sometimes it makes sense, others it's not needed.

1

If there’s a huge difference in assets both parties should understand it’s the right thing.

antman Level 7 July 23, 2018
1

Marriage is only necessary if you are young and having children. I remarried at 42 because I was having a baby. Wouldn't do that again. Only lasted 2 years.

1

For men, it’s the wisest move.

@Ella
Men aren’t treated well in us courts during divorces. Prenups ameliorate that.

@Ella
[the-american-interest.com]

Why only for men? You know there are plenty of women who have assets too.

@Rideauxb Not always.

@Jolanta
It’s not like only for men.

@Rideauxb
Yeah. I went through a divorce there. It was all about how I could take care of her despite all the lies, dissembling, psych ward visits, sneaking away and crossing state lines in order to take my daughter away from me.......

@Ella
I was in a rush. I had to take my daughter to see her counselor. I’ll get to it later.

0

...different strokes for different folks, and what two people do that does not concern me does not concern me. A pet peeve of mine is people who stick their noses (and mouths) where they do not belong. I avoid such assiduously. Personally, if I did not trust the woman, I wouldn't be marrying her anyway.

0

All domestic relations issues should be done by private contract. Government involvement should be limited to enforcing all contracts that are within reasonable public policy.

0

Prenups, in my opinion, should not be necessary for young people getting married for the first time with no kids from a previous relationship. Older people getting married with substantial holdings and with kids from before the marriage should probably consider prenups or other things like creating trusts to see that what one's kids inherit is taken into consideration. Otherwise when one spouse dies the surviving spouse tends to take their deceased spouse's family fortune and then with that person dies, leave everything to their own natural kids. That happens a LOT!

OCJoe Level 6 Aug 23, 2018
0

I believe in free choice and I for one will never again choose marriage.

0

After two divorces and living in a communal property state, I hate to say it but I'll want one the next time if only to protect retirement accounts.

0

For a dating site (somewhat), I sure see a lot of romantics in this thread... j/k

To each their own, but I personally think that prenups are a bad idea.

First of all, I see them as already having one foot out the door on your "committed" relationship. If you have no skin in the game, how valuable is that relationship going to be to you? My wife and I are in this together. When we encounter stormy weather in our relationship, we both have agreed to communicate our positions honestly and keep communicating until we figure it out like adults. No one is leaving this marriage until we have exhausted all options and have earned our way out of it. I don't just get to quit on a whim. Marriage isn't easy, it was never supposed to be. It's a long-term, complex, interpersonal relationship with your best friend; that takes priority over all other interpersonal relationships in your life. (If you disagree with this last sentence, then maybe marriage isn't for you.) Which brings me to my next point...

Second, the loss is supposed to suck! There is a reason why divorces are the second most stressful events to take place in your life; after the death of a loved one. The death of your relationship is figuratively the death of a loved one. Which brings me to my final point...

Finally, and most importantly to me, is that personal responsibility and integrity are two things that I take very seriously. Take ownership of all of your decisions. Especially the bad ones. Take stock of your role in what went wrong. Often people find this means acknowledging that the red flags that you ignored while you were dating, planted the seeds of destruction in your marriage. To this end, the way I see it, half my fortune would be the price that I pay for choosing poorly.

TL;DR: "don't do the crime if you can't do the time"

0

I would sign one.

0

contracts are just bullshit if one doesn't have the means to enforce them.

0

I won't get married without one. Given my track record with the ladies. I would probably get the biggest screw over of my lifetime. In case it doesn't last.

0

Didn’t even think about it when I got married. Big mistake!

Hermit Level 7 July 23, 2018
0

Prenup is a must if you want to marry for the second time and/or you have children.

0

If the person is not trusted, then marriage is not the answer. If the person is honorable, the spoken word is the contract. If the contract is about money, then why engage yourself beyond the others means.

If it is a civil union and love is not involved, then a protective contract is needed.

If the signatory loves to no avail, the contract shall be signed. Hence the Solicitor is in demure, and doubt casts a shadow on love.

If love is not believed to exist, then you are playing the game of Spades.

Good Luck

Etre Level 7 July 23, 2018

This sounds good and, on paper, I agree with you. BUT...it's not always about trusting the person you marry. Children from previous marriages/property you bring to the marriage, etc, can be HORRIBLE and GREEDY and you must protect yourself.

@LucyLoohoo

I am just being philosophical and poetic because I believe love exists. I believe in truth, honor, and respect. I believe honorable people exist. I take people for their word. Verbal contracts exist. Yes I know people lie. I am easily to manipulate if I trust you. If you manipulate me I no longer trust youst. Maybe that is why I am single and not with many friends.

Keep everything in Trusts. And yes, I see your point, I like to believe the Good Exists.

0

I think they go against the whole idea of what marriage should be. It’s a permanent descision and a prenup flies in the face of that. If you don’t trust someone don’t marry them. I know it’s not realistic, but that’s how I feel.

0

Doesnt apply to me, my feeling is don't get married...
But, that's only me... 🙂

Buddha Level 8 July 23, 2018

Right---well, then, don't LIVE with anyone, either!

0

I don't like them. If you're making a life long commitment then you shouldn't be worried about covering your asses when you fail. If you don't trust the other person enough to stay by your side then you shouldn't be making a life long commitment to them in the first place.

There is the unfortunate possibility that someone doesn't really know the other person well enough or that they change over time but prenups are essentially in my mind a way out of something that shouldn't have a way out in the first place.

Some clarification, I'm divorced, I did not have a prenup, I did not get out of the marriage equally and I lost a lot of money and I didn't fight her for it. There's more to life than money and stuff.

0

It's sad but I think they're necessary for everyone... Most marriages rarely last.

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