i have been told not to discuss vulgar language because it means I am not open to true feelings and a method of showing true emotion. Still think it isn't necessary and demeans the user.

Well I think you need to broaden your vocabulary so you can fell better when you insult someone.

I mean we don't NEED to be...

I am of the opinion that there is a time and a place for vulgarities. I am also of the opinion that the time and place align more frequently than others seem to think.

I can't talk for others, but if you see me using vulgar language, it's usually because someone has exhausted my patience and has shown not to be a reasonable person.

There's a button people can press so that swear words are blocked

As Spock said in Star Trek IV, "Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?"

I think we should be as civil as possible, and crude language can convey incivility. On the other hand, it doesn't have to. In large part I suspect it has been assumed to be "rude" because some people have been socialized to the idea that "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it". This is a cardinal rule of standard-issue US Midwestern reserve, as well as much of Bible Belt 'Murica. I think fundamentalist prudishness makes it worse, but is not necessarily its root cause.

My personal take on it as that so long as every fourth word isn't "fucking" so that the language itself becomes the main event, then the sorts of verbal exclamations that ordinary people engage in is fine if that's authentically who you are.