Are you a Selfish Lover? Does it please you to please your Partner..or do you feel that your presence in the bedroom is tantamount to mission accomplished.
Maybe you acknowledge that with a little give and take everyone's a winner.
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14 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I can't enjoy things unless I know they are into it as much as I am.
mistymoon77
Level 9
July 24, 2018
1
Yes..yes..its such a turn off..if you are doing all the work..and your Partner is as enthusiastic as a brick..but demands attention anyway..
I thoroughly enjoy pleasuring my partner but also desire much pleasure in return.
JenBeberstein
Level 8
July 24, 2018
1
You can't go wrong there. You have achieved a great balance. ?
I very much enjoy that whole give & take thing. Then again, I really like learning what my partner likes, then take them to the edge & back over & over again, just to see if I can get a new sound out of them.
SallyInStitches
Level 7
July 24, 2018
3
While a man should be grateful for the opportunity to bask in the glow of the glory that is me, I hope to return the favor. I like to be be pursued initially, and to feel passionately desired. I respond with equal enthusiasm. Ideally, each of is is thrilled to be thrilling each other, and that leads to exponentially increased thrilledness, LOL.
Untamedshrew
Level 7
July 24, 2018
5
@MikeWilliams1 For some reason, I'm reading your comment in the tone of voice of the bored woman in the Brun Mars' Lazy Song when she says after sex "ya, this is great". LOL
That's not talking dirty..but sounds very sexy anyway. Phew!..I all flustered!
I'm thinking that some of the younger porn raised generation may be more taking and less giving, at least based upon some of the stories my nieces and nephews relate to me. They seem to feel that take take take is the way to get what you want in bed.
Surfpirate
Level 9
July 24, 2018
2
Yes definately a media driven.."Take care of Number one" attitude filtering through these days..more than ever.
Although as a rule I'm more of a giver, I believe a certain measure of taking (i.e., getting what I want from the experience) is just as integral. More than anything, I believe I need to be more open with future partners about what I want, and to negotiate our needs responsibly.
SonofMax
Level 7
July 24, 2018
4
Yea I think what's apparent from this thread that communication and compromise are crucial..throw in a dash of enthusiasm and a good deal of males carrying their weight around the house..makes sense..it doesn't begin or end in the bedroom..that part seems almost incidental to issues that may arise.
I agree. Well put.
Thanks for the great post. I am truly a giver. I live by the rule "give more than you get". I don't actually keep score but I maintain an awareness of my partner's needs in every aspect of the relationship and work to stay on the positive side. I am looking for a relationship where the two of us try to outdo each other in gestures of love, desire, admiration, and consideration.
kensmile4u
Level 8
July 24, 2018
5
First class Ken...me too.
Jesus h Christ.. if you were a lady I would take you out for a beer and a steak dinner. You could have written the post for me..because that's exactly how I roll..cheers Pal!
@Hitchens Thanks Hitch! It's good to know these deserving women are going to get treated well from you a bunch of other good guys I know on here.
Lol yep...in that respect we are worth are weight in gold..since apparently we are a rare breed! ?
Do you suppose anyone would ever admit it if they were only a "taker?"
Deb57
Level 8
July 24, 2018
3
I suppose..well that is to say..that I was hoping someone male or female might admit to being less then giving in loveplay..and provide some insight as to why that might be? Laziness..selfishness etc might not be the reason..could be just as I suspect the way they are wired..in other words it's practically beyond their conscious control.
I've definitely encountered receivers.
I was thinking the same thing...
I love to please my wife, in whichever way she desires. But after a few years down the road, we kinda work with each other in the pleasure department. Most of the time, satisfaction is a shared responsibility, but sometimes, we can feel free to take a 'freebie' depending on each other's level of desire.
drumreaper
Level 5
July 24, 2018
3
Interesting approach..especially the Freebee...its like the ultimate intimate compromise. Excellent understanding and eagerness to work through fatigue..or not in the mood days.
I think what most men don't realize is , good sex doesn't start in the bedroom . Great sex starts between the ears . Share the responsibilities , share the workload , share the fun and games , and most importantly share mutual respect . If you spend the day , cutting her down before your friends , your family , etc. don't expect her to suddenly melt at the sight of your dick .
Cast1es
Level 9
July 24, 2018
6
Ladies first. Every gentleman should know and live by this. I'm happiest making my partner happy.
When it's magical is when both partners are looking out for each other's happiness. When you learn to give and take. If I have a partner who is happy making me happy, then I get happy, and want to make her happy, and... you see where this is going.
Paul4747
Level 8
July 24, 2018
6
I couldn't agree more...living by that principle has been my principle..if only because I'm lucky enough to enjoy giving.
Its definitely give and take for me and my partner Dan.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
July 24, 2018
4
Lucky Dan the man ? I believe it makes for a stable love life. ?
If a guy takes the time to make sure I have enjoyed myself, I'm actually a little shocked. Which is really sad.
Marcie1974
Level 8
July 24, 2018
6
That's why I made this post.. I try to figure out what rocks the woman's boat..and even what she doesn't yet realise will rock her boat (excuse the cliché
..but it's not hard work.. I simply derive great pleasure from her pleasure..but I know everyone is different.
You deserve better. (For that matter, so do I. What the hell are we doing with our lives...?)
@Hitchens I sometimes wonder if those guys just don't give a crap and only want to get their own rocks off? OR, do some not know that women can have an orgasm? And that it usually takes more than 2 minutes to get there?
If a guy tries and it doesn't happen, for whatever reason, then that's on me. But dang, at least take a few minutes and try. I promise I will show my appreciation! There really is zero excuse in this day and age either. Google "clitoris" and find out how to locate it on a woman. They have diagrams and everything!
@Marcie1974 The perfect meme for that.
@germangirl90439 The damn thing isn't microscopic!
@RavenCT YES
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