Finally, I truly no longer attend funerals of any sort. Just do not believe in that. First embalming is so foolish and degrading to mother nature, SEcondly, death is not sorrow , merely a function of life. Some say I should attend to show respect, That is not true, I should go just to be nice. No one cares and those who know me, understand me. Sitting in a room with the embalmed corpse is an old custom before we had the ability to make a ton of money on it

If you can imagine some of the comments you will hear, perhaps you can think of some responses in advance, to avoid being confrontational, yet hold your ground.

For example if someone says she's in heaven or a better place, you could reply that yes, you've created a little piece of heaven in your heart, to keep memories of her, and you'll think of her when you see the people and things she loved. You can rephrase what they say to be more in keeping with your thoughts on death.

No one is truly gone until they are forgotten. Grief is a personal thing and everyone handles it differently, but it is important and healthy to grieve fully in your own way. Don't let anyone take that away from you. But also remember not to take it away from others who may need to grieve differently than you.

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. The last thing that you need to deal with at that point are all the "she's in a better place" type of comments. Take some time for yourself.

Stay focused on your mother as a person, on the family stories around that. Say whatever genuinely nice and fond things you have to say, and couch them in ways that give credit and honor where it's due: to your mother. In short: reminisce. About your mother, not your mother's chosen deity or beliefs. If there was good in her, it was there in spite of religion rather than because of it.

Of course others will try to make it all about god, and you just have to let that be as it is.

My condolences on your loss. Maybe now you can move forward and won't have to see the relatives so much.

My condolences on your loss. I hope you have fond memories to help you through your grief.

When the religious people say unfortunate things, think of us and remember that they are trying to cope with grief, too.

Wishing you stamina! Was your mother religious? If you plan to speak about her at the service (I hope you do), maybe consider what you want to say beforehand. When my mother died, I spoke at her service, and it was cathartic. And honest. Just don't let the Religionistas keep YOU from fully benefitting from an event that is certainly more for your benefit than most of them who will be there.