Please believe me that there was nothing you could do. I know the guilt personally, but if someone is determined to do this, they will find a way. I'm happy you're seeing a counselor. It's difficult, and the pain in real, but it time, you will be able to handle it and move forward. Wishing you peace.

It doesn’t sound like there anything you could have stopped what happened. Please take care of yourself and be well.

I am sure you did what you could April. An individual can only do so much in the care of another. I am sorrowful for your hurt, and the hurt to those who knew him, and loved him. Losing a loved one is never easy. We must go on nevertheless, and cherish the memory of those whom we cared for. Mormons can be a spiteful group, I know. Many of which feign kindness if only to serve their own pretentiousness. We as a community are here for you. We're a good lot for the most part.

I wish you were here. My ex wife is a psych nurse who works with survivors of suicide. I sure hope you get help. Hugs.