How do you build up your self confidence? I'm a sensitive person, perhaps too sensitive. Growing up I felt like my mom was disappointed I wasn't pretty or popular, I have an older brother so of course he told me how ugly I am. I'm not looking for sympathy, just trying to give background. My first boyfriend was pretty mentally abusive and said some fairly devastating things to me. Left him and met my ex husband shortly after. He never said anything negative to me, but wasn't really one to compliment either. I feel very plain. Average looks and average intelligence. I'm ok with average. But men usually say self confidence is sexy. How does one feel self confident? How do you build that in yourself if it's not something that comes natural to you and you've been reinforced most of your life that you aren't good enough?

I'm NOT looking for sympathy or fishing for compliments but really would like concrete advice to dealing with this and learning how to feel good about myself.